#but either way I don't believe that being a shit person is a necessary reflection on the quality of someones work | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wejustvibing · 7 months

Text

have this unfiltered verbal diarrhea 🤗

after a night of careful reflection i still believe lewis was not a 100% at fault irrespective of whether he has taken the responsibility for it followed by apology world tour or not. but there are clearly bigger issues here that this social media facade is just not able to hide and that worries me.

the treatment they're giving lewis is just shocking and unacceptable given what he brings to the table. even if i put aside the megastar status (which i'm not sure i should, considering they never shy away from using it for securing the bag and engagement), he is still their leading driver in the championship. he has scored 60% of the team's points and the only pole so far, in an effort for P2 in wcc. he is closing in on 2nd in the wdc despite being in the 3rd or 4th fastest car. by that logic alone he should never be subjected to all these shenanigans.

no matter which way you slice it, lewis is always the one with the short end of the stick. he is always the scapegoat. he is always the one taken for granted. he is the one covering up the clear mismanagement. instead of getting full support from the team he is the one out there assuring team harmony to the media, apologizing for a racing incident which it shouldn't have been considering he was the one who trusted the team and his teammate with whatever the fuck that tire strategy was and was the one who got dnf'd.

i know he will be the bigger person just to protect his peace and with constant target on his back no matter what he does, because god forbid a black man expresses himself the way his white counterparts do. i'm not asking for the sassy LH back either. all i want them to do is be fair. it's this glaring disparity they need to be ashamed of and sort out as soon as possible. well they've stolen his words "we win and we lose together" they might as well act like it. we've seen clear examples of the tone they're setting for this, especially after the two dnfs.

and lewis said that's my role. i just want to know what he meant by that? role in what capacity? is he the team principal now and taking the fall for everything? or has he signed on to be the team's punching bag with the new contract? i'm not being dramatic when i say this. his teammate dnf'd through his own fault & lewis got the podium and got silent treatment in return instead of celebration but when he dnf'd after the teammate disregarded previously agreed upon strategy, he's again the one getting gaslit into apologizing in front of the world instead? there has to be a way to explain this.

and i'm ride or die for him. i believe he can and should and will do whatever necessary to protect his sanity. maybe he's in too deep with that kumbaya shit and damn, good for him. full support to that. the question remains — why must he? i refuse to move on from every little thing by saying oh he is a better person than me. oh the sport doesn't deserve him. oh he has matured. oh it's not that deep. and by the way, his teammate can own up to his mistakes and see clearly in mirrors when it's any of the other 18 drivers so those excuses don't work for me. and no, replacing the teammate or bringing back valtteri will not sort this out. it's for mercedes and toto to decide and prove to lewis if his faith in them is justified? they have created this and they must sort it out.

this is about basic respect as a human being that this sport and fans have NEVER granted him. it's sad to see his team do it too. this is about reciprocity. has the team or teammate apologized to him for the recent fuck ups? no! but he does something slightly wrong and they're parading him on social media, making him apologize on camera, weaponizing his magnanimity against him to act like they forgive all his fucks ups?? and i'm supposed to sit in silence about this?

#anons are open if anybody wants to vent or put me in my place with a reasonable argument

89 notes · View notes

yoncevevo · 10 months

Note

Like I knew u were momther from the very first post I read from you. No you are not alone in thinking and believing what you just said in your little venting sesh. I've always shared the same sentiment really deep in my heart but I've chosen a different route to cope with it. People really undermine the way you want to be treated or perceived in society as a enough cause to transition. I really don't believe in this inner feeling or person that you need to let out narrative. I'm going to stop here so I don't get you in trouble but as I said the more I grow up the more I lean into a masculine mindset/presentation. Call it inner-homophobia or feminine bashing or whatever. I think the absolute opposite happened, I was never attracted to feminine men but now it's completely different. I find myself even attracted to some women. Like you I wanted to get the respect and the admiration a girl had but as I grew older I let go of this thought (and find it a bit childish/reductive in retrospect) I don't want to get the admiration or recognition of a man either. I think now I just want to be recognized for the effort that I put and the destination that I reached as a person. Leaning towards more masculinity, speaking for myself, I found it to be more 'natural' and more fulfilling. What I mean by that is a sense of strength and courage to stand up for oneself and the people that you care about. Also a sense of reclusivety and restraint. I never tried to change up my behavior or my speech, I think it gradually and naturally changed to reflect my core thoughts and perceptions. Of course this is my own experience and again nothing against feminine men, I gained a new respect and a different perspective for them. I now see the beauty and the audacity and courage it takes to be it. Sorry I went on a tangent, I hope this was not long or tedious for you.

This was an excellent read! Very seldom do I find anons (or people in general) who are able to express themselves this openly with the intent to be understood! I definitely feel you on the “leaning towards presenting more masculine” stuff because there have been several times within these past two years I’ve had to prove to others that yes, I am a biologically a man and I can step into that “role” and make you feel like shit for pushing me into it if necessary 😖 But really all that means is don’t back me into a corner and expect me to be punk’d out. I also understand the way you feel about the whole “inner person you need to let out” narrative being trash because the whole time you discovered who you truly are, you did it within the confines of the body you were born with! Like, isn’t that amazing?! For a biologically boy (or man) to feel so comfortable “performing” mannerisms and sharing characteristics that society would sort into the category of female is nothing short of empowering for me! Especially if it’s all done in the comfort of your own home without the need to be put on display. Thank you for taking the time to express yourself to me early this morning as it’s given me hope that talking about my feelings (however idle they may feel) will always be worth it! 😄 ily!!

#also not this being the first anon I’ve gotten in WEEKS 😮‍💨#what a great one!#Anonymous

3 notes · View notes

all-chickens-are-trans · 2 years

Note

aight, just tell me your thoughts on what trent's life looked like growing up (and how that informs how he parents his daughter)

oooohhhhh mmhhhhfmfnfsdm bless you 💛💛

as you know, i'm going back and forth between "trent has a good dad because damnit this show needs more good dads and trent deserves one" and "trent's dad is shit because james lance said so and I can't stop thinking about the 'are you a man or a mouse?' quote."

For this one, i'm choosing the latter, and to be clear: i'm conceptualizing this shit dad as homophobic. content note for homophobia because of that.

Like, what if Trent's dad is one of these men like 'I'm getting queer vibes from my young son, so I'm trying to make him like manly things. like football'? Only that it backfires, because Trent loves football, but the first time he falls in love with someone, it's still a boy? And it's not like his dad is a particularly bad person. he just has very clear rules on how the world is supposed to be, and he probably thinks if his son doesn't man up, the world is gonna hurt him. And Trent eventually understood (after years of working through it all, putting some distance between them and reflecting on all of it) that his father might have meant well, but it still ended up hurting Trent in many ways. Which means, their relationship is still difficult, but maybe more something like what Higgins says - that Trent is trying to love his father for what he is and trying to forgive him what he isn't.

I don't think his dad is a Richmond fan either. I think Richmond is all Trent's, and his dad is like. an Arsenal man instead or something. And I think that was one of Trent's many rebellions growing up. That he decided to still be into football, but to root for the underdogs instead. That he decided to grow his hair out. Maybe, and I can't believe this never occured to me before. Maybe he got an earring. I think Trent's rebellions might have been quiet, but effective.

And as to how this affects him raising his daughter: I think he feels the same urge as his father to protect her from the world - he's just trying different approaches to do it. I think he will try and teach her to fend for herself, but whenever a situation arises where that would be necessary, he's going to have a hard time to not step in and do all the protecting. (well, this is not yet relevant probably - he's obviously not gonna leave a three year old to fend for herself.) but he's also gonna love her fiercely in all her glorious weirdness, and teach her to love herself for it, too. as i've already established in my fic, I think he'll try to not baby-talk her and take her seriously, but of course he won't always succeed. Small children can fry even the smartest person's brain with their big eyes and their pressing questions about everything in the whole entire world, and while I think Trent never wants to make his daughter feel small or insignificant, he will have to realize sometimes that. she is small. she is a tiny human being and that's okay. there are ways to be a parent without being patronizing. there are ways to protect a child without making them feel like they have to hide a part of themselves a way. It's gonna be a learning curve for him, and he's going to question himself so much in his parenting, but I think he'll be fine <3

#having many feelings about trent crimm; 41; glasses #my posts #ted lasso #trent crimm

14 notes · View notes

fafa1k · 10 months

Text

Pisces listen, you've already won what you prayed. You know this? You may not believe it but you're in the perfect position right now to truly elevate & pop your shit out of this stratosphere. I noticed while meditating that you have unclaimed prizes at your spiritual doorstep.

You haven't claimed NOTHING thats truly owed to you yet. And your guides wanna know why Pisces?! But first, do you personally know what the prize is?... YOU pisces. You're the prize. You believing in yourself is the prize. You finding the people to love you for you is the prize.

You stepping into a career field that truly ignites your passion will forever be the prize.

But why not accept it though? Bigger question, why not accept yourself? Why are you afraid to just say you're deserving of something and lock in with that vision?

Why are you afraid of being told no instead of embodying that you deserve an openhearted yes? Time Pisces. Time has a way of conditioning us to either believe completely and have true faith or give up dependent upon how you choose to see the power time holds.

Pisces the message for you right now from your guides is to become more aware of the control you have over your life but simultaneously learn how to let go of control when it comes to time. Stop letting your heart get worked up into anxiety. Learn to be and just exist pisces.

Exist as who you're truly meant to be, especially within the relationship you share with self and tribe. My love your angels want you back in your own f*cking corner building your confidence and trust within self.

You're too locked in with something outside of yourself and you've been extremely distracted from your personal goals Pisces. Looking for that confidence outside of self empowerment will always yield you into yearning for that in places that don't promote you to be who you truly are. Too much power is being given to things that don't make you feel good about life, to remain sure of yourself, or aware of your magnitude. Timing is everything. But so are the actions you reflect on and take, especially when it comes to building prosperous relationships with people. You can be so impatient for what you want... you're soo quick to rush your process and lose focus. It's no longer just your wants and desires but everyone you are involved with that cultivates powerful manifestation tactics you and your tribe are consistently working on.

You want it to instantly happen? Are you ready to put in the work necessary? I know you even can see the vision, but are you sure of yourself? You second guess a lot of the downloads spirit has been gifting you with to just try your hardest, to shoot your shot, to put that idea out there. Pisces you want things rushed and expedited and spirit has been consistently telling you to slow down and catch up with who you are now. You cannot rush your idea of perfection Pisces, it is something that is personally realized through life and actualized over time.

This includes relationships too my love. You cannot expect things to just align for you with no work on your part being put in. Pisces the world is your oyster. There are diamonds of abundance out there waiting for you to claim.

You think you reached your peak potential but this is only the beginning Pisces. You are stepping into another season of elevation, & right now in this moment you are being prepared for it. It gets better. Much love.

♓️♓️♓️

0 notes

mochiable · 3 years

Text

— enough. (a)

REQUESTED — hello!! i really like your work and how you write. could i request a scenario about han jisung cheating on reader and her forgiving him every time but then she can’t stay with him anymore and they have a big fight? sorry if it’s so specific, but i think you’d do a great work with this! i’ll understand if you don’t want to do it though, have a nice day!

wc: 1.7k

warnings: toxic relationship, mentions of cheating, swearing, emotional pain

requests are open!

you were fed up. jisung kept shouting your name in the distance, but you didn't want to know any more, you didn't want to hear any more. you were tired of everyone taking you for a naïve fool who didn't realise what was going on around you. ‘poor thing, she has no idea he slept with five other girls’, ‘i feel so sorry for her, how come she's still with him?’ you didn't know, you really didn't know how you could still be with him. maybe they were all right, you were a sucker, but that was going to change, you weren't going to put up with any more humiliation, and much less coming from him.

as soon as you arrived at the flat you shared with your now ex-boyfriend, you locked yourself in your room and took your suitcase out of the wardrobe to start storing your most necessary belongings. you didn't know where you were going to go, you didn't want to bother anyone, but it was either that or sleep in the street or stay in a forty square metre flat with the person you least wanted to see right now. either of the first two options was better than the third one, anyways.

when you finished putting all your clothes away and headed to the bathroom to pick up your make-up and all your creams you heard the front door open loudly and as hurried footsteps followed by several curses headed towards the bedroom.

“what are you doing?” the dark-haired boy asked watching you from the bathroom door, looking through the mirror as you put all the products in your vanity case, hands trembling and clutching things tightly.

“dancing a tango, wanna be my partner?” you replied sarcastically, taking all the courage you had left and turning around to face him, “what the fuck do you think I'm doing, jisung? i’m leaving,” you spat angrily, moving towards the door and bumping your shoulder against his to walk back into the room.

“no, no, no,” he repeated, shaking his head repeatedly as he moved closer to you and tried to get your attention, “listen to me, please listen to me," he pleaded, reaching up to you and turning your face to his with his hands on your cheeks, “it’s not what it looks like, i swear.”

“isn't it? let me guess," you began, bringing your hands up to his and roughly pulling them away from your face, “was it her who kissed you? or maybe, oh, i know, you drank too much and couldn't control yourself?” you roared angrily, pushing him hard in the chest, pushing him two metres away from you, “fuck you, jisung! i’ve had it. you've done nothing but humiliate and despise me. fuck, why can't you take me seriously for once? am i a joke to you, huh? is that it? do you think i’m so deluded as to cheat on me not just once but five times? do you enjoy watching me being mocked and laughed at behind my back? ‘oh poor girl, her boyfriend cheats on her and she keeps chasing after him like an idiot because she can't stand on her own two feet’!”

at first, your age difference was the reason for thousands of messages and threats directed at you. you were only three years older than him, and he was already an adult, you didn't see the problem, you both loved each other, or so you thought. the comments soon went from ‘old predator whore’ to ‘dumb slutty little girl’. you had to put up with how they came on to your boyfriend, and how he did nothing, smiled and even flirted back. however, when a boy came up to you, he seemed to wake up and didn't hesitate to shoo him away.

“no, that's not true. please, y/n,” he came back to you with a desperate expression on his face, managing to cradle your cheeks again and wipe away the tears you hadn't realised were falling from your eyes, “of course i take you seriously, darling. you're my everything. they're lying, i swear, y/n. i’d never do that to you, you have to believe me.”

you pushed him away from you again, and ran your hands through your hair, tousling it and burying your face in your hands. the moment you looked up again, you found your face reflected in the small mirror of the canterano in the room. a haggard, weak, sultry face. you dropped onto the bed, you were exhausted and you knew that this argument had only just begun.

“enough, enough,” you murmured, holding back the sob that was about to escape your throat, “stop lying, just stop! you don't love me, jisung. you never have and you never will. why do you want to keep me here if all you do is make me suffer?”

“no, that’s not true. i do love you, y/n,” he replied softly, crouching down in front of you until his eyes were level with yours. he brought his hands to yours, but you pulled away and stood up again, laughing bitterly.

“you have a terrible way of loving then,” you said, turning around and reaching for your suitcase, but jisung was quicker and wouldn't let you.

“i’m not letting you leave, not without sorting this out,” he said resolutely, snatching the suitcase from you and setting it in a corner, “it’s after midnight, you're not going out at this hour.”

“so now you care? where were you all those times i had to come home alone in the middle of the night because my boyfriend preferred to cheat on me with someone else?” you asked, moving forward again to grab the suitcase, but he got in the way and grabbed your arm, pulling you away from your things. you tried to pull away, but you knew he wasn't going to let go until you two fixed this, so you decided to continue, “you don't have to worry, there's no one out there who's going to hurt me more than you. you can stay calm.”

“tomorrow you can leave if you want, but tonight you're staying, okay? i can't let you leave at this hour, i’m not gonna let you," the grip on your arm was beginning to intensify, but he released you immediately when he saw the expression of discomfort on your face. he unhesitatingly wrapped you in an embrace and pressed you against his body, stroking your hair and resting his head on top of yours, “please stay, love. stay with me tonight.”

“how many others have you told this to? huh? how many others have you told to stay the night with you?” you asked between whimpers against his chest, clutching the sides of his t-shirt tightly in helplessness, “you treat me like shit, you cheat on me, you humiliate me and then you have the balls to tell me you love me.”

jisung, seeing that his words were having the opposite effect to the one they were intended to have, lifted your face and brought it close to his. he brushed your noses in a gentle but subtle gesture and, caressing the lower part of your eyes, he leaned towards you until your lips made contact.

however, the butterflies in your belly that you once wished would never disappear had, indeed, died. none of them was left. because jisung, with his lies and deceit, had killed them off one by one. until the last one that had remained until tonight couldn’t stand it anymore and vanished just like her sisters, leaving an empty hole in your stomach that resembled the one you had in your heart.

still wide-eyed, you brought your hands to his, which rested on your cheeks, and lowered them. jisung gradually broke the contact of your lips, until finally he rested his forehead on yours and let out an agitated sigh.

“you’re staying, right?” he asked once he’d pulled away from your face, looking at you with sympathetic eyes. but you no longer believed anything, you no longer trusted him.

“what would i gain by staying, jisung? i can’t stand any more humiliation,” you answered with a broken voice, trying with all your might he wouldn’t see you cry again. you hated showing weakness in front of him at times like this. you felt that if you did, he’d won again and you were tired of losing.

“please, y/n, please. you can't do this to me,” he growled desperately when you pulled away from him and went to pick up your suitcase. he tried to catch you when he saw you walking towards the door, but you turned and raised your hand, putting it in front of his face and telling him to shut up.

“i can't do this to you? i’m not the one who sent our relationship to hell, jisung. you decided to flirt with other girls, you decided to make out with them and you alone decided to fuck them. you’re the only son of a bitch here, and i’m not going to put up with you treating me like rubbish anymore,” you finished, taking the keys off your key ring and leaving on the front porch the one that opened the flat that was no longer yours. then, you turned to him and started to memorize all the details of his face, before saying your last goodbye, “have a nice life, han jisung.”

you left that apartment putting an end not only to a relationship, but to a lifestyle that had been destroying you for months. you didn’t know how you were going to overcome everything that had happened, but what you were sure about was that you weren’t going to go back and, evidently, you weren’t going to let anyone else treat you as if you weren’t a human being.

jisung’s punishment would be to wake up and remember everything he had and everything he could have continued to have if he hadn’t screwed everything up. now, when he got home he’d only find a cold and empty apartment. but that didn’t compare to how you’d felt during the last months of your relationship, and now it was his turn to feel the worst that can come from a toxic relationship, helplessness and resentment.

222 notes · View notes

cat-sapphics · 3 years

Note

Hey!

I follow the" aroace lesbian" tag and your recent posts have come up in my feed so I just wanted to say that being arospec, acespec (demiromatic graysexual, both labels in the aromantic and asexual spectrums) & lesbian is completely OKAY and you should not let anyone tell you the contrary. Especially uneducated people so 😚🤍

Many aroaces use the term aroace to encompass being in both aromantic and asexual spectrums; this means you experience little to no romantic/sexual attraction and that's more than valid. You can be both arospec and aspec! 🔥 Or arospec and asexual. Aromantic and acespec 🥺🤝

The way YOU experience romantic and sexual attraction is just different to the average allo person, & that doesn't make it any less valid. Attraction is an abstract concept and we shouldn't be putting ourselves into boxes but letting feelings be that, feelings.

Your experiences are necessary and important to our diverse & big aro/ace communities as an aroace lesbian! An aspec person is that who experiences little to no romantic attraction. That's it. THAT'S OKAY 🥰

And being an aspec lesbian is more than valid too, it's not a contradictory term because the little and fluctuating romantic & sexual attraction you DO experience, is ONLY towards women/nb so; I don't see why lesbian isn't a term you can't use. A lesbian is a women/nb female aligned person who experiences romantic, sexual and/or emotional attraction towards women/nb female aligned people. Check, check & check ✅

All in all, ace lesbians, aro lesbians and aroace lesbians are ALL part of the lesbian community & our unique experiences with romance and sex are necessary and valid for it 💓

Sorry if this got long, hope I made my point clear. Aroace lesbians have always been lesbians so don't let any exclusionists steal your peace 🧡🤍💖

thank you!! thank ya thank ya thank ya!! i really appreciate it <3

i will say, i think some of the anons i got did make some valid points (obviously not everywhere you look but they at least gave me something to think about in general) but it really took me by surprise how condescending and disapproving they all were. super uneducated too, i said i experience attraction differently or at least less frequently than average allo people and like ?? that doesn't mean i'm secretly a self-hating lesbophobe ?? you don't get to determine that for me if i'm genuinely happy even though i participate in lesbian discourse and am passionate about keeping the definition specific and closed ?? lol i didn't redefine lesbian or take away its initial meaning so it really had me peeved

i think most of their comments reflect on how they don't believe in aromanticism and asexuality being a spectrum, which i guess i invited by my own doing since i have some conservative and exclusionary views on the lgbt community and that affects my following/audience, but my response to that is that i use these labels because they bring me personal comfort. when i say i'm demiromantic i don't mean that alloromantics have zero standards when it comes to a potential partner or are completely mesmerized by the idea of hook-ups, just that the connection they need to start crushing comes within a decent time period with a personal connection, but not a super strong and deep and loving one that makes it exceptionally hard to fall in love despite however much we may desire to. the label doesn't exist to imply something bad about """normal""" people, it exists to name an experience many people have but to an intense degree. so, yes, it's a pointless social construct, it probably means nothing to you and that's fine, but it still means something to me. i'm not crying oppression or marginalization, and i'm not claiming that i'm lgbt on the basis of being demiromantic/greyasexual, but through being a nonbinary lesbian. that's the difference between mspec lesbians and aspec lesbians, is one is actively harmful to multiple groups and actually Does spawn from a place of internalized lesbophobia and/or biphobia, and the other is just "mmk this is just for me and affects nothing at all, it doesn't drag you into anything at all, i still qualify for lesbian the way you (should!) see it as technically even if you do believe it's redundant, so just... leave me alone" cause it reflects more on them than me when they make it their business by unfairly assuming things about me

same applies to me being greyasexual. still trying to figure out if it means that i experience sexual/physical attraction less frequently, less intensely, or both, but does that matter?? genuinely?? this is also redundant but i didn’t wanna leave it out of the paragraph about me being demiro fk;ljslkgbdvhbs. the aro disapproval part isn’t acceptable at all but i can at least see it since romance is so normalized and is a core part of, y’know, lgb relationships; the greyace disapproval however....... i don’t wanna label it as acephobia because i don’t really believe in aphobia being a thing, but it still kinda rubs me wrong to claim that sexual/physical attraction is a requirement ykyk... NOTHING WRONG WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE SEX OF COURSE (i myself kinda wanna try someday if that works out) i just think frowning upon someone who doesn’t UNLESS they try to claim they’re lgbt on that basis is.................. not really cool. i really hope people who read this understand what i’m trying to say and don’t label me as an ace inclus who thinks aphobia and oppression are real, i was just trying to make a point about my personal experiences oops lmao

and then it became "aroace means NO ATTRACTION AT ALL" okay... so i'm angled aroace, that's a sub-term since aroace is literally an umbrella term, actually (unlike lesbian, shit's complicated ykyk). "YOU'RE NOT AROACE THEN"....... they don't even like the idea of oriented aroace now either, so like, what then, are aroace people just never allowed to feel love or positive feelings from other people ever? jesus christ. i'm not even getting into this, i consider aro/ace identities to be secondary to describe one's attraction so this debate should not be as important as, say, discourse centering the L, G, B, or T. it's just dumb all around tbh

hope i addressed all the arguments against it, but i can't really care at this point if i missed something :/ i'll probably get a mean anon about it so don't worry!! /s jslgjgjkshkj;lhfp

speaking of, i've had to delete so many anons and even turn off the option to ask anonymously because of this discourse. it's so pointless in my opinion, so i've just stopped giving them my time unless i think it's worth answering - but even then, i try to keep it fairly short. i genuinely was not expecting my take on (cishet) ace discourse to turn into myself failing to be seen as a "real lesbian" despite literally meeting its definitive qualifications and then it just kept building up ?? stan behavior tbh, especially since plenty of them obviously come from the same users

i apologize for the rant. i just never really felt like i'd be listened to if i tried to explain my identity, so i gave up and just tried to ignore my way out of it. so i really genuinely appreciate your ask, especially since i can identify you. it really feels like i actually have someone on my side now, so even if you ever disagree i'd know you wouldn't harass me about it. it really means a lot, i really needed this from you and i don't wanna dump more shit but i feel that you deserve to know. so thank you again <3

12 notes · View notes

drarrygirl27 · 4 years

Text

Thanks for the tag, @unsealingkale !

I nominate @darling-lo

1. what does your name mean / mean to you?

Oh wow! I learned something new about my name. It is a Hindi boy name meaning, Center. I'm used to reading it meaning things like knowledge, wise, understanding, and water baby. This is very interesting!

I used to hate my first name years ago, but honestly I really used to hate myself for many reasons for many years. I now love my first name as much as I love my middle name. My last name is pretty cool. I used to want to change it to my biological last name, but now it ties me to both my grandma (She got remarried when my dad and his brother were in their teen years. The man she remarried, she had 3 of my uncles with, 2 are still alive.) and my dad so I'm going to keep it for a little while longer. My dad has another brother who I keep in contact with with my biological last name. They found each other through Facebook years and years ago.

2. breakfast, lunch or dinner?

Breakfast because breakfast is the bomb! That is my favorite kind of food, day or night. I do eat lunch and dinner too, but breakfast food will always have my heart.

3. what are you proud of?

I am proud of how far I actually have come in my life. There were times where I literally wanted to just let things be even when it was bad for me to do so, but I still eventually found the courage to leave when I knew that in my heart of hearts that I needed to for the good of my overall well being. I have had to do that a good bit of times in my life and despite how some of it hurt me really bad to do so emotionally and sometimes mentally even, I knew that I just had to do it because if I would have stayed in some if not most of those situations, I wouldn't be where I am now.

I don't have the best job in the world right now and things have been really hard especially with this crazy ass situation going on, but I am so much happier in so many ways than I was 3 years ago and years before that even. I have grown a lot in many ways. I have the Army to thank for that at least partly. That place pushed me to my limits in so many ways that I had no choice, but to see that I really, really needed to change in some ways if I was ever going to get anywhere in life in the Civilian world. It was what I like to call a necessary hell.

4. your go to song on a bad day?

Not sure if this counts, but when I get scared or anxious about something, I listen to "Lullaby" by Shawn Mullins. It feels like he is singing it to me in a way. It sounds crazy I know, but I have loved this song for many years and overtime it just became a really good comforting song for me.

5. have / want tattoos

I don't have tattoos and I don't think I will ever get a tattoo. I don't like needles. I'm not as bad as my mom with them, but I still don't like the way they feel and I wouldn't know what to get anyway.

6. what are you looking forward to post ‘rona?

To go to places without having to wear a mask like the movies and the mall for instance. They drive me nuts! I wear them for work and when I go into stores. At home, I stay mask free because no one has the 'rona in the house because we all wear masks when we go out some where like work places and the like.

7. fave place you’ve travelled to / where you would like to travel to?

Lost Maples Natural State Area in Texas, hands down! It is a gorgeous place with mountains with hiking trails and beautiful unbelievably crystal clear water.

North Carolina. I need to pay respects to my grandma and if it is allowed I am thinking about spreading my dad's ashes on her grave as well. I was in the Army when she died. I was offered to go back home because of it, but I knew my grandma would have wanted me to keep going and so I did.

8. name a personal object in your room that you love

My grandma's and Daddi-o's memorial service discs even though the Bitch Cunt of the Century a.k.a. Former stepmom was in charge of the pictures on my Daddii-o's discs. You can tell because she is in most of the pics. *Sighs* Lord, I wish I would have had enough balls to tell that 'thing' to fuck all the way off! *Sighs* Hindsight is 2020 and unfortunately, all that shit went down in 2017.

9. what’s your niche interest?

Hmm... I have a good bit of them to be honest. I will just name my main fandoms at the moment. Rhink, Supernatural, and Harry Potter especially when it comes to shipping. LOL!

10. ideal date with yourself?

Hmm... An ideal date with myself, eh? This is going to sound so weird or maybe not, but either a trip to a bookstore or a thrift and or antique store. I love to check out those kinds of places.

11. share a pic from your camera roll that brings you joy

12. is there anything you would say to your younger self?

It may not seem like it now, but eventually things are going to get better for you and you are going to accept and love yourself for everything that you are. You're not going to hate yourself forever and there are going to be people who like and or love you as a person. Your family has always loved and respected you even if it didn't seem like it sometimes. One day, you are going to be able to look into the mirror and through very, very deep self reflection come to understand why your friends and family and the like have always loved, respected, admired, and believed in you. I love you and one day, you are going to love you too.

13. do you bop to music on (I corrected this. It originally said in.) your own? do you sing?

Yep especially while driving in my car to and from work and at work too.

Oh Hell Yeah! I sing way more than I used to especially not just by myself behind closed doors. I don't sing out loud at work though because people could be sleeping and also I'm still a wee bit hesitant to sing in front of people like face to face depending upon where I am at, who I am with, and such. I'm working on it, but I do show my talent to people a lot more than what I used to.

14. is there a type of animal you associate with home? does your house get animal visitors?

Hmm... I was around cats a lot more than dogs throughout most of my lifetime especially my childhood and teenage years.

If we're being sappy though I'd say cats and dogs now. My boyfriend's brother and sister-in-law have a cat that I love a lot. He is what I like to call a sweet asshole. LOL! He can be nice and or loving, but not towards most people. He is kind of like my boyfriend in that way. They're both assholes to people who actually deserve it, but if you're a good and respectable person they'll show you the same kind of decency.

My mom has two German Shepherds that are my fuzz sisters. I love them way more than I thought I would ever love dogs. I was just a cat person for a really, really long time, but now I actually like or love dogs depending upon my relationship with them.

15. is there an artist of any kind who speaks to your soul?

Oh goodness! So many of them do. A lot of musical artists, writers, and the like. To name them all would have me write out a novel or two even. LOL!

2 notes · View notes