“Oh you are struggling with birth trauma that might have been caused by a faulty medical system? Well it may best to just choose a BC method you hate the least and use that so you don’t get pregnant ever again!” STFU Prudence.

Texting habits per judging function

No one asked, but here are some observations I've made in my personal life.

*Note that this probably differs by age, gender, and culture (for instance, I have been told by several Americans that I use an insane amount of emojis, whereas it's not considered weird at all here in Germany).

FJ:

Generally very good at texting, will respond to absolutely every point you make. If you send them a long voice message, they can be found taking notes while listening so that they will not forget to answer any point you made.

Have a very hard time leaving someone on read and if they do, either something happened and they forgot, or they simply don't like you very much. If they open the message, they answer. If they don't have time to answer you right now, they simply will not open the message yet.

If the text conversation is done (i.e. you wrote something like "bye, see you tomorrow!" that does not require another response), they will still at the very least send you an emoji back for no reason other than letting you know that "Yes! I read your message! I'm not ignoring you! I love you!" (Literally every FJ I have ever known does this. Every single one, including myself.)

They will adapt to your style of texting. If you are the kind of person that likes to send a bunch of heart emojis to friends and the FJ friend is not, they will still pepper in a heart here and there. If you generally don't use emojis, they will use them only occasionally. If you reply in wallpaper long messages, so will they. If you break up your messages into several texts one after the other, so will they.

FPs:

Also generally quite good at texting and can actually appear a lot warmer in writing than in person (there have been several instances where I received really lovely messages from FPs who I used to think hated my guts whenever we met in person).

Prepare for emojis. Seriously.

You can have infinitely long text conversations with them. If you are willing to commit, the conversation between the two of you will never end. With NFPs, the conversations usually end up spiralling into nonsense scenarios, while SFPs keep telling you about their day and keep answering you about your day every day.

TPs:

(my texting experience with TPs is unfortunately very limited, so feel free to fill in my blanks)

Fe is very noticeable in the extroverts, i.e. they tend to go the FJ route described above, but in a more nonchalant and more relaxed way. Like with FJs, the focus of the conversation is on you and their dynamic with you.

The introverts (i.e. my dad, i.e. my only point of reference) are bad at texting and prefer to call, so almost all text conversations go something like this: TP: "Hi, I tried to call you, but you didn't pick up. I hope everything is alright with you?" You: "Yes, sorry. Everything's good here, how about you, everything okay?" --- end of conversation ---

TJs:

Generally bad at texting. Also don't really like it and see no point in it, so they usually prefer calling or talking in person.

Will appear colder in writing than in person, especially the STJs. Their answers will be straight to the point. No beating around the bush and no needless extension of a conversation in form of jokes/questions/anecdotes for a bonding experience. If they want to tell you something, they will tell you in person.

Have absolutely zero problem leaving people on read and usually don't mean anything by it.

STJs rarely use emojis, NTJs do but not excessively

If their answer requires them to type anything more than two sentences, they will send you a voice message instead. (Literally every single TJ I know does this, except my INTJ brother who is a complete maniac and calls instead.)

I noticed a trend in fictional characters, and I like to clarify if my reading checks with how it plays out in real life: It seems like the Fi types (specially xSFPs) don't need (or want?) any confirmation of what the other person is feeling/thinking during a conflict, they assume they know it because "their actions say so" (i.e. if she cared about me she'd be here, she's not so it means she doesn't care), and will act on it like breaking up with someone or shutting them off their lives).

Se believes in what it sees and interprets that on a surface level, so yes, that would be accurate for SFPs. Ne looks for motivations and reasons and alternatives, so NFPs speculate on things rather than take them at face value and they do not move on quickly. Both are only able to tell what they themselves are feeling "for sure" (and might not like to "assume" what the other person is feeling). IFPs are firmer in shutting down relationships than EFPs because they know how they feel about this and it's over, whereas EFPs absorb more information before making decisions and are flexible.

The FJ characters though seem to spend a lot of time (sometimes years) stuck on trying to understand why someone acted the way they did, like trying to find the reason why your ex cheated, so it looks like they never move on.

SFJs do this more than NFJs, because an NFJ would reach an intuitive assumption about their motivations and turn their focus into the future. SFJs have no firm views on why and would seek details, using Ne endlessly to speculate and might not settle on a firm thing; they would want confirmation in some tangible sense, as sensors.

I'm not sure this is also an issue Ts would have (there's really not a lot of internal emotional monologues with TP characters), but since Ti is about understanding I guess it might be?

There's a movie called Enigma, about an INTP who cannot and will not move on from a relationship in which his girlfriend disappeared. He has to find out what happened to her, and why, and it causes him to self-destruct, almost lose his job, etc., because he can't let it go. His Ti won't quit analyzing the past and searching for answers. INTPs have a harder time moving on than ISTPs for obvious low Si reasons (getting stuck in the past vs. living in the present and future).

As for whether this holds up in real life -- to some extent, yes. I've seen ENPs even get stuck in dwelling on past relationships because there are no present ones in their life to focus on, so they look back, romanticize, and wonder what went wrong.

Fr. Mullady claims “All things being equal, marriage is oriented to family and so to children. It would be wrong to postpone having children indefinitely or to limit oneself to one or two.” What exactly is he saying here? I was an only child. NFP does allow for negotiation on the amount of children. If there are good enough reasons to not have any more (physical/mental health, finances, etc), if I understand correctly it is allowed, yes (Humanae Vitae)? There are also couples who legitimately don’t .. have relations.. for years, and this isn’t inherently wrong if for a good purpose (1 Cor 7 “do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time”, also Josephite marriages, old age/reproductive instinct lessens, health reasons, etc). I’m pretty sure this isn’t “women are sinning unless they’re continuously pumping out babies” but I’m sure this isn’t “married couples can live extravagantly and spend all their time on lavish useless things and can have children but choose not to”. Most things Catholicism teach seem.. very nuanced. Far too nuanced for modern secular ears.

This is one of those times when I think that maybe it’s not a good idea to just post quotes from a book because it can be taken out of context. I’ve put the link source along with the quotes for anyone interested in the whole book. (I know some people object to buy from Amazon but considering how big of a company it is, I don’t think a handful of people refusing to buy their products will make a dent to their fortune. I think the best thing we can do is pray for the workers.)

But I guess the good thing that can come out of this is it can at least start a discussion to search for the truth.

Fr. Mullady talks about marriage and family at length spanning in several pages and it’s in light of the indissoluble union of the husband and wife after the consummation of their marriage that he condemns birth control. It’s hard for modern secular ears to understand that when a Catholic Church say “no” to something, it’s actually saying “yes” to something much bigger.

Here’s the quote the with more context:

“The practice of natural family planning must be based on the good of the other person and cannot be done for a trivial motive or when circumstances do not warrant it. All things being equal, marriage is oriented to family and so to children. It would be wrong to postpone having children indefinitely or to limit oneself to one or two. This requires one to respect the order of nature and the possibility of parenthood found in the act. The moral aspect of natural family planning demands that it be done from love for the other and as an act of the virtue of chastity. It is not just another method of birth control. Continence and chastity are not ends in themselves but are rooted in the affirmation of the person of the other which in turn is based on the presence of the spiritual soul. Because the person is a spirit, no person may be reduced to an object of use but every person must be a subject of love.

In the practice of chastity in the sexual relationship, man rediscovers the original innocence in which the body was a means to express the gift of love in the soul. To submit this experience to the order of providence is to respect the hierarchy of values wherein lower things find their perfection in higher and deeper things, matter finds its perfection in spirit. This is because reason permeates the otherwise biological actions of man.”

The part when he said, “All things being equal,” is important to keep in mind. He points out in other pages that there can be serious reasons why a couple can’t have a kid. As far as I know the Catholic Church teaches that NFP is allowed to preserve the health of the mother and/or financial reasons such as not being able to afford to have another child. I actually knew someone who had health complications with her last kid (I believe it was her 4th) and because of that she and her husband has decided that they’re done actively trying but they will still welcome any child that God will give them should a child result from them practicing NFP. But what Fr. Mullady is objecting here is a couple deliberately refuses to have another child without grave reasons. Not wanting to raise another kid because they want to indulge in a more lavish lifestyle is not a grave reason.

It’s important to remember that just because a couple only has one kid or don’t have any children doesn’t automatically mean they’ve been using birth control. It could be that God only planned for that couple to only have one kid (like St. Ann and St. Joachim) or they have a fertility issue that they didn’t cause themselves.

I honestly encourage everyone to read the book to see the full picture of what the Catholic Church teaches about marriage and family. Me posting the quotes is just my way of trying to pique your interests.

I have been wanting to become Catholic for a few years and have been working through my difficulties. However, the thing i keep coming back to is birth control. I actually came to the Catholic belief on birth control before I really realized i wanted to be Catholic, and so my husband and i have been trying to practice NFP. However, that has just resulted in me being pregnant every year for the past four years. And i love my children of course and I am glad it happened how it did. But it's gotten to the point where I am constantly stressed about becoming pregnant again, and I have postpartum anxiety and depression and I can't even focus on the kids i already have. I still feel that the Catholic position is right, but i don't know how I can practically live it out in my marriage. I can't ask my husband to be celibate indefinitely and nfp hasn't worked at all. I've had 3 miscarriages in between 3 pregnancies and I'm just physically exhausted. And now to add to it i feel i can't ever become Catholic because if i commit to that i have to fully commit to never being able to even use condoms, and i just know I'll be pregnant for the next 10 years and i am terrified of what the next pregnancy could be like because they've always been difficult for me. So I may never be able to participate in the sacraments that have drawn me to catholicism. Do you have any advice or i guess just prayers.

Just in case you did not know this before and I do not claim to assume that you may or may not know already: birth control and contraceptives such as condoms, are not 100% preventative. Condoms, for example, can possibly break.

While the Catholic Church is certainly against all forms of contraception -but approves of NFP- please do not feel unworthy. You can absolutely join the Catholic Church, not matter your past. Do not feel afraid. There are many options we have as Catholics and pro life when raising a child. Many people are willing to volunteer to watch your children, Catholic churches will assist in donating free items to you, pregnancy resource centers offer free classes / free supplies / free support and free counseling. We also have options of adoption, safe haven baby boxes, and surrendering your young baby to a safe place such as hospital / police station / fire station if you cannot raise another in your family. I can link you up to wonderful, free pro life resources if need be. You don't need to be Catholic in order to receive these free resources.

I highly suggest talking to your nearest Catholic priest (or bishop). He will not turn you away; he will be so patient and answer all the questions you have about this in more detail than I can, as someone who has personally not had children yet. You don't have to be Catholic to speak with him. You can e-mail him, call him, or even speak in person to him. It's never too late to consider Catholicism, or even just asking for help in general.

Do not afraid. I will pray for you, and anyone else who sees this. God sees you and understands.

Not that person with the bad NFP take, but as someone who has never used NFP before (not married), can you describe the scenarios where one may have to abstain for more than the week of ovulation in NFP?

So part of the reason I posted it was actually hoping someone a bit better educated than me could elaborate. But I know from being in a Catholic mothers’ group for several years that, depending on a woman’s cycle, the NFP protocol she’s following, whether she’s breastfeeding, and other conditions, that some women who are strictly TTA can have as little as one (1) safe week a month.

NFP is hard. It is not a small sacrifice. It is not a magical birth control alternative with simple rules. The only simple rule is “if you don’t want kids, don’t have sex.” The reason NFP is complicated is because it tries to give couples the knowledge and steps to follow so that they CAN have sex even when they are TTA. And those are unique and complex, just like every woman’s body!

c5x14 reality star struck This ep has Gina Torres in it, who played Zoey Washburne in Firefly. Nice! However, before I start this ep, I need to get up & move. I am on call for work today too. Hoping I don't get called in. In fact I also hope I get cut early

this is the stupidest thing lmao

KB: Yes, because nothing says “Happy Valentine’s Day” like a Star Wars toy. RC: *chuckles* KB: Wait, wait, wait. Please tell me that you didn’t get me a lightsaber for our first Valentine’s Day together.

RC: What about you, Espo? Any plans for Valentine’s Day tomorrow? *Lands his arm over espt's shoulder* JE, uncomfy, & tbh seeming a bit sad: Uh, yeah. Investigating a murder.

RC: The Wives of Wall Street, the reality show? JE: Yeah. Seen it? RC: Just long enough to make me want to kill myself. One minute of lunatics backstabbing each other is enough. JE: Speaking of backstabbing...

oh so THAT'S what a tennis bracelet is! I thought it had to do with the sport. HOLY-- THAT IS A GOOD KNIFE. Except WHEN was that made? it doesn't match the ones I've seen but they obviously have different handle styles, like any good knife company. lives in a hotel?

Clipping that. Also he looks a LOT like me when we both had that hair. Wish I'd taken a pic of myself now lol

I mean my parents did NFP to prevent having kids (being catholics & "not allowed" to use condoms) & then to GET kids. But why is ryan sharing how they took her internal temperature & are doing babymaking science & babymaking not as in sex itself, & then just sharing how it was "showtime" & not romantic but sciency & rooster in a hen house & just XD he is freely giving away this information to his colleagues while on the job

RC: Yeah, not to mention her family, the DA … all reality shows are fake

Esposito nice outfit. Tie is not too thin. Dress shirt.. dark blues & stuff... LIKE ALEXIS VLOGGING Ryan pretty too! I should pic these two maybe

Castle actually looks shocked at the drama lol assET *castle whoops* *espt smiles tho* Gates lmao I love her sometimes. When she reveals her interests she is good! The dolls, the show... SOPHISTICATED, CASTLE? WHAT? "zito" (the captions are weird, sometimes they have 'sito sometimes they have zito)

How do you do? (Are you still rolling? Did you get that?)

Love the whip transition *shows her broken nail in a careful way to not flip off the camera*

Lol during family watch we ended up having a convo abt asbestos *gates being useful bc she watches the show*

*castle casually takes a seat on her furniture* also this is an empty empty apartment, & it is big & like... just empty. like nobody lives here

Oh no the landline?? can't kill someone unless you're on the cell u saying a fan killed her?

JE: Hey. I got a little mystery here. RC: You mean besides your Valentine’s Day plans? JE: Shhh. *He presses his finger against castle’s lips to keep him silent. beckett smiles.* clipped that for ya

the last stop? sounds like HER last stop

clipping ryan's return too ho-ly (hair REALLY looks like mine now lol) Beckett helping regroom him <3 (also lol what a great lunch break)

RC: As in the country off the southeastern coast of Africa made famous by the adorable animated film? "primarily" in madegascar

Smuggling? Big money & exotic locations? RC: But how? (he turns quickly) Wait. Is this your Valentine’s Day gift to me? A complex mystery where nothing makes sense? You know me so well.

alluaudia, becks. Hold on is she wearing two coats? One is nice & green & the other only goes to her upper waist? what? as you wish <3 RC: Captain Gates, participating in the case. Engaging in idle speculation. We are not so different, you and I. *VG takes off her reading glasses to look at him* RC: There’s … there’s a difference. We’re different.

VG: (to BECKETT) You know, this could actually be our big break. Only we may not have gotten to it if I hadn’t recognized Margo’s building in that photo. Which is why I think each of you should watch some “Wives of Wall Street” episodes tonight. For the good of the case. right bestie. At least you can make a viewing party out of it or not Castle don't be competitive!

Lol the music tbh, those earrings are… not as good as I thought they'd be XD study each other's eyes Aww reading poems <3

MR: Boy, I wish I’d had these reality shows in my day. No script, overacting, screaming at everybody. What a gig.

Castle getting into it The popcorn IT IS DAYTIME HIS EXPRESSIONS I could clip that ig.

I could clip these two together if I wanted lol These two really are making headway "an" episode XD she's kidding about one potato chip right? I mean, you give yourself one serving of chips & then you put away the bag/tupperware & you're done. (gates looks nice) She sounds tired tho maybe she DID binge watch Esposito nice sweater!

Ninja moments Ooh nice lunch, gates oh NO & the AUDIO

gonna be sex lol esp with that rhythym At least she got clothes

THESE TWO ARE LOVING THE DRAMA

Ah a shell company ryan pretty *& then leaves* Esposito interrupts castle's attempt to pickpocket gates *& then leaves*

HOLY CRAP. DOMINATION IG... Both: WHAT!?!? You know, you /could/ "bump into her" by accident when you are "shocked" by the scene in the interview room & pickpocket her Who did you call?

Peter: Jeff get out of here Jeff: Right *immediately turns around* *casually sits* *casually offers water* *casually accepts water* *intense convo still happening over this*

Maybe her son borrowed the credit card & bought dinner

*CASTLE slows when he passes GATES’ office. Her jacket is still on the back of her chair. When he turns, he runs into BECKETT. She studies him.* Could be that they are bonding over the show...

Why doesn't he just tell Gates he got a gift for beckett as thanks for letting him shadow her... no not a good idea.

KB: *stops suddenly.* Did you write a note? RC: Of course I wrote a note. I’m a writer. KB: Was it romantic? RC: It’s Valentine’s Day, so yeah, it was romantic. KB: Did you put my name on it? RC: *makes a face and thinks* KB: Oh God, Castle, did you put my name on it? RC: I can’t remember. I put my name on it. I know that much. KB: *sighs in frustration and continues walking*

*knows the episode numbers; like me with the plot heavy eps* ryan pretty, annoyed that he has to listen to gates tho KR: Just the headache I get when I watch it.

*thinks it is for her* oh no her face DROPS.

btw, stone? neat name ig Stone: (hesitates) Then my mom came home. When she found out about our relationship, she went crazy. She threw Hannah out. But the worst part was that Hannah begged me to go with her. But I couldn’t. In the moment that she needed me - to stand up to my mother - I couldn’t. Oof this is a heck of a moment, a heck of a moment indeed

*eye contact* *sees the pocket is empty*

Ah nvm that IS that knife y'all showed her the warrant? remember The Cat Who when Joy made the pottery red? & when I say that Joy made the pottery red... she's cornered, this is stressful!

The music sooo suspensful love it

RC: Yeah, I don’t know. Maybe she’s choosing to ignore it, or just biding her time. Like a shark. KR: Night guys. ((Kevin Ryan my friends!)) [He’s heading for the exit.] Happy Valentine’s Day. RC: Ah … once more unto the breach? KR: Uh, actually Jenny just texted me and I have the night off. [KB+RC look confused] KR: I mean, we’ll probably still uh … you know,, but tonight it’ll be for romantic reasons. : ) KB, sounding just a bit uncomfy: Yeah.

y'all this is so romantic with lanie here:

[LP turns the corner and heads toward them. She’s dressed up. RC stops and KB smiles.] KB: Hey Espo! Your date’s here. RC: (to KB) I knew they had plans! You knew they had plans and you didn’t tell me? KB: Yeah, because she asked me to keep it a secret. This is a really big deal for them. ((bc they broke up & even tho they still have the occasional booty call they are not together, but now it is valentine’s day <3)) KB: She doesn’t want you making fun of them. RC: I wouldn’t make fun–.. no, that’s not true. (he laughs) It’d be fish in a barrel. LP: stops in front of them with a huge smile. RC: Oh. KB: Lanie, you look great. LP: Yeah? It’s not too much? KB: No. It might be a little too much for Castle. (she nods up) Eyes up, bud. [His gaze snaps up immediately.] RC: I do. ((XD)) JE: You look amazing, Lanie. LP: Thanks, Javi. JE: Mmhmm. LP: So, what’s the plan? ((Always have a plan)) JE: Oh, reservations at Le Fouquet. LP: French? I love French. JE: Je le sais, mon petit chou chou. Allons-y. [LP sighs. RC smirks, but it looks like beckett didn’t know esposito spoke any French. He probably does not, probably only knew a few romantic words, esp considering his accent for other french words in the past castle episodes were not good; however french is a romance language & english has a lot of french influence, he would easily learn french. Heck, I can understand a little bit of spanish sometimes from my french) JE: Au revoir. LP: Au revoir.

oh nooooooo

INT – VG: ’ OFFICE The open earring box sits on her desk and castle sighs. VG: Did you really think that I, of all people, would be okay with this? RC: No, I – thought – RC looks ready to cry. VG puts on her glasses and picks up the note. VG: “You are beauty, passion, and fierce intellect. Be my Valentine. Rick.” ((sounds like it could be for gates tbh, heck yeah)) RC watches KB through the window but when he realizes gates stopped talking he startles back and grabs the note. RC: Is that all I wrote in there? VG: Isn’t that enough? What the hell is wrong with you? I’m a married woman. RC: I – I know. No, I know. I just thought – [Castle might be able to salvage this yet.] VG: Is this some lame, harebrained scheme to garner favor with me? RC: (dryly) Yeah. That’s – that’s what this is. VG: Well, it backfired. And I am willing to forget this ever happened if you can assure me you can tame your childish nonsense and accord me some respect. ((he’s way way wayyy to childish)) RC: I – I will. I can. I will. She shuts the lid to the earring box and hands it back. VG: And now I will go home. To my husband. Because I’m his Valentine. She grabs her things and leaves. RC just nods. Could have been worse.

Wait WAIT IT IS THE DRAWER HOLY CRAPERONI THAT IS THE MOST INTIMATE THING EVER the music sfdjksdfjkjkh *buttons not coming out*

outstanding, I have a half hour left on my schedule to format & post the quotes

Did it! still 20m to spare! I think I sprained a finger by holding too many deep fry baskets & awkwardly shaped bowls last week. I thought it was just sore but it still has not healed so now I think it got sprained or strained in some way. I am so not ready to go back to work.

What Does Forex Leverage Mean And How To Use It To Trade? well, when it comes to investing. In general, a lot of people believe they need a large amount of capital to start. And they are not far from the truth, especially in the case of bonds, stocks, etc. But when it comes to the Forex market, it is accessible to anyone due to the use of leverage. Yet, a lot of people don't understand it. Why? Because most forex beginner traders' brain releases heavy dopamine And this dopamine discourages them to know the basics of Forex and instead makes them focus more on profits. This article aims at allowing someone who just started or plans to trade on the Forex market to understand leverage. Click the link to be brightened or copy and paste the link to search bar to be brightened: https://webbikon.com/blog/2022/10/25/what-does-forex-leverage-mean-and-how-to-use-it-to-trade/ #webbikontechnolgies #webbikonblog #gardenofknowledgeandinnovation #leverage #forex #forexsignals #nfp #cpi #investing #cryptocurrency #rsi2022 #indicators #spread #margincall #deriv #fxtm #swingtrading #switzerland #losangelerealestate #lekkitraders #ontariorealestate https://www.instagram.com/p/CkHvwCLIWWN/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Applying for grant funding for NFP organisations

There are several components to grant writing for NFP(Not For Profit) organisations.

Identify the Issue

For many NFP organisations they have a wish list of programs or projects that will benefit their community and improve their services but often funding holds them back from achieving all of these items on their wish list. Unfortunately fundraising will only go so far; so for many organisations grants become the lifeline to achieve their goals and objectives.

The grant writer can assist the NFP organisation in their grant writing. The grant writer will start with identifying the selection criteria expected to be addressed in the application and will liaise with the organisation representative to answer each criterion in a structured and easy to follow format.

Often through sitting down and explaining the project or program the organisation can refine their message. If they discuss this with the grant writer Sydney, the grant writer is able to use the information gained to develop a written version of the project or program for inclusion in the grant proposal.

Know the community

As part of the grant proposal the grant writer needs to clearly identify and elaborate on the positive outcomes for the community as a result of the project or program going ahead. They need to clearly identify which community members are the focus of the project and how the project/program will address the identified issue.

The grant funders need to definitively know that their funding will benefit positively the identified community members and how this will happen. The grant writer NT therefore needs to have this information and provide it within the grant application.

Define the solution

The NFP organisation develops their project/program based on their knowledge of the issue and the community that it will be presented in; then defines their goals and objectives and develops an action plan or strategy to refine their program. The grant writer develops a grant proposal that clearly communicates this information and addresses the required selection criteria and requirements of the grant to submit the completed grant application.

Describe how the organisation can deliver their program goals

As the grant writer works through the grant document they will generally write notes or bullet points using the key words contained in the document as a starting point for the grant application. These notes are the beginning of the creative process and identify any areas where further information or research will be necessary as well as listing the supporting documentation and evidence required such as organisational profiles, policies and procedures and financial records.

The budget for the program or project should be fully and comprehensively costed and presented in a legible and understandable format. Grant writers have the experience and knowhow to support the NFP organisation to achieve this effortlessly.

Presenting the application

Formatting the application is something the grant writer is extremely competent and experienced in doing. They will ensure that it is presented in a legible, professional format using headers, bold font, bullet points and a professional and legible font to guarantee that the evaluator will find it easy to peruse and understand.

Using a professional grant writer gives the NFP organisation the benefit of someone who has experience and competency in grant applications and increases their chances of being successful in their application.

Why you shouldn’t donate to the military/militias

In my honest opinion the most helpful thing you can do as a foreigner on the internet when a war starts is keep your head down and not clog up feeds with unnecessary chatter, but the sheer scale of panicked hand-wringing and random spending has reached a level where it’s dangerous. 

You should, under no circumstances, donate to orgs who work in tandem with a foreign military. YOU SHOULD NEVER, EVER DIRECTLY DONATE TO A FOREIGN MILITARY. IMO, you increase your likelihood of pissing that money down the toilet 100% by sending it to any outreach org instead of dropping it directly into a wallet, but if youre going to send it to programs or NFPs you need to research where it’s going.

There are many, many reasons why, but in order of least severe to most a few of them are;

1. War breeds grifters. People panic; you know that instinct when you heard the news that told you to do something, anything? It’s adrenaline, it’s a common response and con artists know it. People are overwhelmingly more likely to fall for scams when they feel unsafe; they are more likely to take random strangers at their word and you need to recognise when that is happening to you.

2. You will be put on a list. If you donate to a foreign, armed political power you will be put on a list so hard and so fast it’s not even funny. You will signal to every government and every corporation watching the internet that you are politically unsavvy, vulnerable to propaganda and willing to part with cash for it. You do not want to be on a list like this.

3. YOU ARE NOT MADE OF MONEY. Think about this; is there something you can do to help, financially? Probably. But why do you need to donate right now? The thing about sending money to a cause is you have a budget, even if you feel like you don’t. And war is not the same as protest. You freak out, you send money to some random Ukrainian org you didn’t know existed until yesterday, and then in a month when a Ukrainian person starts a fundraiser for a bus ticket for their parents when the actual effects of this conflict start to hit, your brain will remind you that you already helped! You gave up money to this group even though you have no idea where it went, or who it helped, or if it even helped at all. Wanna donate? Put aside some savings in a fund so you can actually assist someone, not just when it’ll feel good.

4. You are donating to European fascists. When you donate to militias or a government that financially supports militias right now you are putting that money in the pockets of violent, armed N@zis. This has already happened; the Azov battallion has notoriously rebranded themselves in the last few days to soak up as much funding from foreign liberals as possible. I could spend hours outlining how right-wing extremists use imperial invasions as a vehicle for securing power, I could point out how this happened in Iraq, and Syria, and Afghanistan, I could say that almost all the money they recieve will not go towards the aid or guns they already have or at least are recieving funding for, but instead recruitment and spreading fascist propaganda. I could gruesomely outline the history of antisemetic war crimes in that region, I could even post screenshots of terrified Ukrainian users desperately defending n@zis because they want someone to protect them through all this but I won’t. If you send these motherfuckers a dime, you are directly putting jewish, gay and trans Ukrainians at even more risk.

Talking points I constantly see:

Helping any defense force right now is a net good

A) The pennies you send will not be piped via antibiotics into the mouths of brave soldiers like your brain movie is playing out for you. B) It WILL go to recruitment, propaganda, and towards building a political climate that secures their power in the decades to come.

But I should listen to Ukrainians and they say to donate

Brother they are so fucking scared. They are experiencing a nationwide terror that we do not have the experience to reckon with. This is worse than 9/11 for them, and they are going to throw their hat in with anyone who can make them feel more secure. This is not BLM, who asked you to listen to them BECAUSE they were actively ignored before it was too late, and the message BLM wanted you to listen to never involved donating money to fascists. (edit) Realised I should point out that there are a LOT of Jewish Ukrainians actively pleading with people not to donate to Azov. 

Youre saying this because you’re a heartless nihilist who doesn’t want to help

HELP!! By god if you’ve got the cash for it, you can help!!!!! SEND IT TO UKRAINIAN PEOPLE YOU KNOW. DIRECTLY. If you have a mutual or a mutual has friends they can get the money to, or someone you trust from Ukraine starts a fundraiser for their apartment building, or gets hurt and needs aid then that’s where your money should go. There’s a rhetoric on online left-leaning communities that any skepticism towards donations is a cold-hearted unwillingness to provide mutual aid and it is not very helpful right now. Question these donation links, don’t use paypal for Ukrainian sources, think before spending, be realistic about how much you can spend and what you imagine that money can do. You cannot fix Ukraine with your paypal, even a little. In moments like these we are all worms under a boot and we cannot change what is going to happen, but you can help someone who needs it when they ask for it.

Hi there, I’d just like to say that abortion is a matter of bodily autonomy. Although people correctly point out that a fetus’ body is not the mother’s body, it remains true that a fetus cannot survive outside of the womb of the mother.

The point, rather, is to cut off the mother’s resources from the fetus, for whatever reason. The fetus dying is not the *intent*, but rather the *consequence* of the overarching action of not permitting another being to use the mother’s resources. It would be similar to a hypothetical situation someone hooked themselves up to your blood supply without your consent. You should be able to remove them from accessing your body’s resources, regardless of what the consequences are for that other person. Nobody should ever be compelled to allow another being to make use of their body for any period of time.

It also doesn’t really matter how the individual got pregnant. Some people say that consent to sex means consent to pregnancy, but this logic is flawed because people most often don’t have sex for the purpose of reproduction (and yes, sex for pleasure is exhibited by animals other than humans). If the purpose is pleasure, then pregnancy is an unintended consequence. If the logic is that we consent to all unintended consequences by consenting to a particular activity, then do you believe we should not treat car accident victims? Presumably, they consented to the unintended consequence of a collision when they consented to getting into a car.

I’d like to have a civil discussion, so please try to understand what I’m saying before defensively responding.

There is nothing autonomous about killing a child, it does not matter how you do it, it’s still an unjustifiable murder.

If a woman decides to sex, she can get pregnant (biology 101) - it’s a choice. What can she do to not to get pregnant in the first place? Not have sex. Easy? I thought so. She permits it (the possibility of pregnancy) by deciding to have sex. That’s it.

It might be shocking to you, but sex is an act meant for reproduction. (Who would have thought, right?) It’s not meant to be enjoyed for the sole purpose of pleasure, but to bond the husband and wife and yes, procreate. One can use the NFP knowledge to predict whether or not having sex might result in pregnancy.

This logic is not flawed at all. Let’s try to think about it differently. If I’m hungry, but I only wish to eat for the purpose of pleasure and not to fill my stomach, I can try drinking a smoothie - perhaps. It most probably won’t kill my hunger, but I would be able to taate something good. Now, if it does fill my stomach, then would I be right to be surprised? Wouldn’t it be illogical to get upset that eating/drinking does exactly what it’s supposed to despite my intent?

Oh, and by the way, cannibalism is also observed amongst animals, I doubt you’d support that though.

Cognitive functions and asking questions

There are a few patterns that I’ve noticed in what kinds of questions people tend to ask. Just to be clear though: I don’t mean smalltalk questions like “do you prefer summer or winter” or something like that, but questions in response to learning new stuff. I work in academia and I don’t really have a life outside of it, so most of my social interactions are science-based, so this is all I can give you, I’m afraid. When you're at a conference, for instance, and are listening to a talk, the most interesting thing is always the discussion afterwards when people can ask the presenter some questions on their work. In general, extroverts are more likely to ask questions, but certainly not all introverts shy away from it either. 

The Ne users, especially when they also have Te (so the NFPs and STJs, but sometimes also NTPs), are typically the ones who go in the direction of “great, if we take your findings and take them to this other area of research and run an experiment on that, what do you expect to find and how would you test that?” They generate ideas that project outwards into completely new directions. If the presenter is an Ne user themselves, they usually engage in the idea and have a bit of fun with all the what if questions that arise. Especially the ENFPs often start monologuing excitedly for five whole minutes that no one can follow a word they’re saying (or maybe others can, but I sadly can’t). Meanwhile, most of the non-Ne users look like they want to strangle them for asking such a question they couldn’t possibly answer and were absolutely not prepared for. 

The Ti users, on the other hand, are the ones poking at your theory, your experimental design, your conclusions, the repercussions. They employ the knowledge that they have (and that you may lack) and question the validity of your work with it, ask questions if your conclusions make enough sense with the “plot holes” you left unaccounted for in your design. However, here we have to make the distinction between the TPs and the FJs because the FJs will only ask these questions if the research has not been carried out yet, the people responsible for the research are not present (like when you’re discussing a paper in class) or if the presenter is a TP (they can take it) because they are afraid of hurting the presenter’s feelings otherwise since it can come across as quite harsh to question someone’s very foundation of work just to poke the metaphorical firewall of their system with a stick, basically. TPs are less afraid of that and just ask those questions anyway, but they typically do so nicely. Though I have seen ENTPs (and one ENTJ) explain the presenter’s own research findings to them before, and particularly the FP presenters are not exactly a fan of that.

The FPs (and some Fe-doms), on the other hand, start their questions out with an emotionally loaded comment like “that was such a great talk and I’ve learned so much from you that I can use for my own research and this is all very exciting for this and this reason, so I have a question regarding ...” As presenters, when FPs are asked about something based in a research field they are not as familiar with, a lot of them feel the need to clarify that their lack of familiarity with it is not because they hate this other field in order to avoid insulting the questioner from that very field, but that’s usually met with confusion by the non-Fi users because they wouldn’t have taken it as an insult at all until the FP said it isn’t supposed to be one. 

Hi Charity! Is disliking discussing hypothetical questions a sign of SeNi over NeSi? I find questions like "Oh, in a situation X what would you do?" extremely annoying. Sure, I can think of 15 probable scenarios of how I could act, but I will never know what I will ACTUALLY do and react. I also think that a lot of people lie to make themselves look cool. If you were never in a situation like these, how can you confidently say your exact course of action? Where is the guarantee that you WILL do something, and not just stand there, paralyzed? You can say whatever you want but nothing holds true until you take action.

No, it doesn't rule out intuition, but it might suggest Te in your stack (TJ/FP). This example cracks me up, because I have said this exact thing to NTPs who try to suck me into "moral thought experiments." As a Fi, I can't predict what I will do in any given situation or how I might feel or what decision I would make, without actually being there and seeing what feels right to me, and whether or not I care about what is happening. NTPs love thought experiments and hypothetical scenarios way more than NFPs. But Sensors often find them stupid and pointless, because it's not REAL.

Although, I must say that I like discussing hypotheticals if there are given a lot of clarifications and they are not tied to me. For example, if I have evidence that helps me to establish pattern of behavior of person X, then I could theorize what might happen in a situation Y. But not those "you are a doctor: would you let three people die or would you kill one person to get their organs and save those three", it's usually more realistic and grounded stuff: "If you said X to her in that conversation, she would probably react in an X way regardless based on *and there would be a list of reasons*". Needless to say, I dislike baseless theories, and I don't understand why someone would keep going telling their theory anyway if I already found a hole in their logic or presented counter-evidence. All of this probably makes me sound like such a boring person, haha. 

Nah, just someone who doesn't use high Ne and Ti. You could be an NFP, an SP, an SJ, or even an NTJ. At least you've ruled out NTP. ;)

I love seeing opinions on the Myers-Briggs types of Marinette and Adrien. I get that there are a ton of reasons people could type them differently. The writing is not totally consistent all the time for one thing, but I'd like to give my opinion anyway. (Remember, it’s just my opinion and based on my experiences in life. Feel free to disagree. lol) Marinette seems like an ENFJ. I have someone very close to me who is. This type often takes on way more than they should, they try to fix all the problems. They can be really creative and fun, but also frantic and super impatient. In their desire to fix things they often miss the feelings of others. NOT because they aren't kind or caring people but because they think of how THEY would feel in a situation. For example, Marinette's assumptions of how Kagami felt in Mr Pigeon 72 and trying desperately to fix it. I was a bit hesitant to share how I feel about Adrien's type, because I find him super relatable and well, I'd type him the same as me. Fully admitting here that I might be biased. Looking around the internet I definitely have seen a lot of people type him as INFP. I completely agree with the NFP part, but I really don't think Adrien is an introvert. Is he socially awkward? Absolutely. Is he cooped up in his house a lot? Yes, but not by choice. What he really wants is to experience new things, make friends, be free, and enjoy life. So, I think he's an ENFP. One thing people miss is that ENFPs are the most introverted of all the extrovert types, more of an ambivert really. We're either going to be joking around, talking your ear off & oversharing or the complete opposite where we keep everything inside. There's not much of a middle ground there and sometimes it kinda seems like we're two different people based on the situation or what is expected of us. When I see people say that Chat Noir and Adrien should be typed separately, that just screams ENFP to me. The people that know us best know both sides & that we're actually a silly combination. (Thanks for dealing with that mess my dudes! ) Since I'm so close to an ENFJ I'm going to go on a little further with this ramble about how we interact. (In my case, it's a family relationship btw.) ENFJ can get really and I mean REALLY stressed out. I'm often in the position of convincing them that the sky is not actually falling and they can handle it. Sometimes this means joking around and just talking about things until they feel a little better. ENFJ generally has great ideas, plans, strategies, and advice. They aren't the best at listening to advice given to them tho. They get frustrated at me for not taking things seriously or not being as concerned about a situation as I should be sometimes. Oops. In certain situations, I feel more like a useful tool or part of a plan than a person who's feelings are considered. But in those situations ENFJ is trying to do what they think is best, and they are usually stressed, they aren't purposefully trying to make me feel the way I do. I (ENFP) generally have a pretty long fuse but the end of that fuse is a big yikes. I can be really closed off & stupidly grumpy. If I give up on having fun with something I just really don't want to be there anymore & would like nothing more than to get away from the situation. There are times when I just leave, even if it’s only for a bit to clear my head. Occasionally, I do something impulsive and really stupid. Generally it involves me coming back to apologize within 24 hours because I realize it was impulsive and stupid. 😆☠️ ENFJ is pretty understanding even though they will agree the thing was not very smart. lol ENFJ wants to be in control of the situation as much as they can. I just want to feel free, have a good time, and be helpful if I can. I hate feeling tied down and controlled, so if ENFJ oversteps there can be tension. Especially, if I don't tell ENFJ how I'm feeling and hold it inside. (But ENFJ isn’t always great at noticing these things, nor are they a mind reader... so I SHOULD be telling them how I feel.) I try to help ENFJ as much as I can with getting things done, for example when they are hosting an event, so they can actually stop worrying about everything they “need” to do and ENJOY it. ENFJ wants to have situations under control and wants to makes sure things, and people, are taken care of but sometimes they have a hard time remembering to take care of themselves too. When ENFJ is not stressing we have a lot of fun together and are very silly. tbqh can be a bit of a public menace in combination because we can be very loud and embarrass the people we're with. We really enjoy each others company during those times. I should end this ramble at some point or I might go on all day. Again, this is just my opinion and insight on the subject based on my experiences. 

Me: I use NFP because I don’t want my fertility being treated like a disease, and as a mentally ill and as a person with medical conditions I don’t want to be sterilized and forced to be sterilized, I want my actual medical issues to be treated and have a normal life that all people should get to have

Anon: SOOOOOO WOMEN WHO ARE RAPED HAVE TO CARRY THEIR PREGNANCIES???

Me: as a person who got*** pregnant from my abuser and gave birth I don’t want this to be a ‘gatcha’ for abortion, because saying all women in this situation would abort, or a common example saying disabled women or women pregnant with disabled children or mentally ill women or poor women automatically want an abortion and using them as an example of abortion situations actually leads society into believing that being a parent is for the elite, select, and is sexist, classist, ableist and racist so can you not do that as someone who fits into most of those categories thanks. (Especially because I was abused, homeless, and forced into marriage for having a pregnancy I chose to keep, and have been fighting sterilization, forced abortion? and literal medical abuse. So this personally is deeply painful to me.)

Anon: nice straw man you should rethink

As an INFP, I was a little annoyed by this question, but here I am anyway! 😅

Calling someone “childlike” might be taken a couple of different ways. It can be seen as positive where it refers to a person who is innocent and sees the world with colorful imagination and excitement. Or it could be a negative remark pointing out traits that might be considered inappropriate or immature.

I realize child-like is different than being childish. One is supposed to be positive and the other negative like I described above. I probably lumped them both into one big negative definition in my head.

I personally see myself as having the hidden heart of a child, yet I don’t like someone calling me any label with the word child in it.

I only say this due to having a mother who constantly told me to “act your age” when I was young. I look back and know that I wasn't trying to “exaggerate” or “get attention” like she seemed to think. I wasn’t a bad kid, but some actions I did must’ve embarrassed her.

I wonder if this is what many INFPs (and possibly ENFPs) have dealt with while growing up. Someone telling them they were behaving immaturely or much younger than their age.

(I’m not positive, but I think my mother was an ISTP. Also, she had other issues like being anxious, emotionally abusive and a touch narcissistic, which added a whole bunch of stress to the equation of life.)

I broke off contact with my mother years ago and worked hard at rediscovering who I am without her negative influence. I am even growing to accept that perhaps I am childlike inside and if someone tells me they dislike it, this does not mean something is wrong with me. It shows me how insecure the other person is with my true self and honesty and perhaps it is time to leave their presence.

I never wanted to be like everyone else. I preferred to be myself. I wanted to enjoy the soft glow of morning light filtering through the sheer lacy curtains. Or swing on the swing-set for hours, lost in daydreams. Or carry a doll with me when I left the house.

I feel so much more at ease when I can be my natural self. Honestly, if I don’t want to style my hair or wear makeup, who cares! I feel comfortable that way. I am no longer allowing criticism or odd looks to prompt me to change just to make them feel comfortable in my presence. Too bad.

Okay… Back to the “child-like” label. Having child-like tendencies doesn’t make a person immature. In fact, I’d be more apt to see such a person as comfortable in their own skin and even as a bit of a rebel against societal norms.

If people were able to grasp hold of that innocence in adulthood, imagine how much softer and gentler a world we could live on. There would be less harm against one another. We’d want to enjoy our lives and have a healthier environment surrounding us. We wouldn’t need competition or power. Humans could just exist to learn and grow, creating beautiful stories, art, and music. Children would thrive and feel strong being who they truly are without pressure to conform to everyone else.

After saying all that, perhaps INFPs are child-like after all. We are some of the people who are refusing to be shoved into a box. We have held tightly onto our gentle energies and brought them with us into the future. You are seeing our souls slipping through like a bright beam of starlight in the morning dawn. If only more people could be this way. 💗

Thanks for the question. 😊