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witch-hazels-musings · 10 months

Text

tacenda

warning: hurt/comfort (reader believes the character doesn’t love them, rumors of loving someone else (D))(angst is very mild)

includes: alhaitham(1,384), diluc (1,692), xiao (1,563)

character x gn reader | anthology | definition: “things better left unsaid”

you loved him. You’d known for a while but kept quiet, save for telling a few trusted friends your secret. Beyond yourself, they knew how often you thought about him even when you didn’t want to, knew how you searched for him in the crowd even though there was no way he’d be there.

They knew, you knew, but he never did; and he never would --

-- this silly love of yours would have to stay silent

some things are better left unsaid --

alhaitham

You stood on your toes to reach the shelf above you. It took several attempts but soon enough the book was back in place and you moved on to the next in your pile.

The library was quiet. Just the way you liked it. No overbearing conversations, no rushing of bodies as they made their way through the campus. Just silent stillness, and the scent of books.

You made your way down each isle, adjusting and correcting books that were out of place until the stack in your hands was empty. Turning back, you made your way to your cart but stopped when a familiar figure caught your attention.

Alhaitham, the most attractive academician you’d seen in the short years you’d been here. You were introduced to his existence a year ago when you took a linguistics class on a whim and, there he was, sitting to the side making it impossible to focus on the lecture. The amount of times you’d stop functioning because of him was enough to give yourself second-hand embarrassment.

No one should be that attractive, you thought.

After some time, you realized you were just staring at him, so you shook your head and stumbled back to the book-cart. Out of the corner of your eyes you saw several others in the library staring at him too. A stunning creature made their way over to him and you lost all nerve to watch. Picking up a pile of books, balancing them in one arm so you could put them back with the other, you turned to head down an isle but glanced back to see Alhaitham in a dialogue with a person far above your league.

If there was someone he liked, it was certain to be someone like them.

It wasn’t surprising how popular he was. With a face like that it was a shock he didn’t have twenty confessions a day. You tried to still your straining heart, did your best to ignore the sting in your eyes. It would make putting the books back a bit more difficult if you couldn’t see.

You wandered through the isles. Careful to not make the floorboards creak to loudly as you scanned the authors names. “M ... Ma ...” Running your finger over the spines, you stopped when you found the right spot and slid your finger in between the two adjacent books. Making space, you reached for the book on the top of your pile and put it in its home. The rough leather tickled your skin as you ran it down the spine. Once settled, you examined the next book, unaware of the footsteps making their way toward you. “Ie... I -- oof.” You ran into something hard and just barely managed to stop the books in your arm from falling to the ground, “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t ---”

Alhaitham was standing in front of you, eyes glaring at you and destroying whatever words were about to fall out of your mouth. His long, slender hand gripped the stack in your arm so they wouldn’t hit his torso.

“H-hand --” you blubber out, he raised an eyebrow. “I’m sorry!” Panicked, you apologized louder than you intended. At the same time, you twisted to the side and backed up so fast you smacked into the bookshelf. Several books teetered at your forceful jostling and came crashing down. Lifted your empty arm to shield your head, you close your eyes in anticipation of being hit. The books landed heavy as they fell to the floor but you didn’t feel any pain. When you opened your eyes, you jumped at the sight.

Alhaitham’s body towered over yours, his arm was bent, hand balled into a fist and head covering you so the books wouldn’t hit you. You could feel his breath, see the darkness of his lashes, smell him -- you were sure you had a dream like this once before. He opened his eyes, wincing.

“Archons, are you okay?!” you asked in a worried whisper. Without thinking, you lifted your hand to touch the back of his head. His hair was silky smooth; hair hypothesis confirmed, check. “Alhaitham, I’m so sorry.” you apologized, retracting your hand as he stood up to his full height. He rubbed the spot you touched making you feel even more terrible. You bit the inside of your cheek and lowered your head in shame. “I’ll pay for your check-up.”

“What reason would you need to do that?”

“B-because I got you hurt, its the least I could to ...” you explained.

He examined his hand as if to check for blood and seemed satisfied to find none, “Healthcare in Sumeru is free,” he replied pointedly. In your state you completely forgot. It only made you more embarrassed.

“... right.” You tried to play it off with a laugh but it came out strange, like you’d never laughed before. Archons, just let me die, you pleaded. “Anyway, I’m sure I was in your way. Let me clean up this mess so you can go on about your day.”

“Did I say you were in my way?” he asked, watching you bend down to pick up the books that fell.

“Well, no. I guess you didn’t, but ...” you shook your head as you placed book after book on your already heavy pile. Alhaitham’s feet moved out of view which made you happy and sad at the same time. You wanted to talk to him, wanted to hold his attention, but not like this. Should you say goodbye to him or ---? “Oh - um...”

Alhaitham reappeared next to you, his hand reaching for the same book you were. You followed him as he stood up and placed the book back in its place and, without saying anything, he extended his hand down to you. Realizing he was asking for one of the books, you gave it too him and soon the two of you had the isle cleaned up.

“Thank you. First you save me from the books, then helping me put them back. What did I do to deserve such a kindness,” you marveled, not waiting for a reply. “Anyway, I’ll be on my way.” With a small nod, you walked past him but didn’t make it very far.

“Most people are wary of interacting with me,” he began, forcing you to turn back to look at him. His comment seemed so sudden, your expression doing little to hide the fact. “I’ve been told I am difficult to get along with. It is not in my interest to change what others think of me,” he looked at you and you pulled the books you still had closer to your chest. “Being social is not one of life's necessities. That is what I believe at least,” he took a step toward you and you took one back. The action made him pause. He looked to the left, jaw clenching for a second before his gaze returned to you. “I’ll occasionally go to the tavern for a drink after work.” He finished and you let the information digest. “Well then.” He turned and you were left speechless.

Just as he was about to round the corner, you took several steps toward him, “Was that -” he twisted to look back at you, “are you inviting me to join you ...?”

He smiled. The corner of his mouth lifting into a smirk, “Was that not obvious?” he answered before disappearing around the bookshelf and leaving you alone to feel the pressure of every author staring at you while you slowly combusted in the isle.

You had liked him for so long. Had wracked your brain trying to find the best way to talk to him. All you ever managed was quick phrases and helpful recommendations when he was searching for something.

You were sure he was the type of person to never show interest in anything other than his work or his books so ... why you? why all of a sudden?? what magical thing did you do to get his attention and how - how in the world were you going to keep it??

some things are better left unsaid, right??

diluc

You smiled politely to the customer before they turned and left the store. Their eyes gazing at the small bag you handed them moments ago. Whatever they would use that stone encrusted bracelet for, you weren’t sure, but it would look lovely nevertheless.

Carefully, you started reorganized the jewelry in the case. No matter how diligent you were, there was no escaping messing up the display stands as you reached for ones further in. With a heavy sigh, you knelt down and pulled out the displays one by one. A container of rings placed at your side, a ornate necklace with a ruby balancing on top. Your hand passed over the felted shelf to remove the dust bunnies accumulating there. You were practically inside the large case when the door chime rang out.

“One moment,” you maneuvered your arm to wave at the guest, to show them you were just on the other side. They didn’t say anything but you didn’t mind, you were cursing under your breath enough for the both of you. “... just go back ...” you huffed, finally placing the rings back in their proper place. With a click of the wooden door, you lifted yourself up only to have your heart leap out of your throat. “Welcome in, how can --”

Diluc Ragnvindr was standing on the other side of the glass case. His eyes fixated on you - more than they ever had before. You felt faint. He pulled up his glove, scanning the case in front of him.

Say something --- by the archons, say anything ...

“H-Hello, Mr. Ragnvindr. How can I h-help you today?” shaking your head at how much you stumbled over your own words, you tried to put on a pleasant smile. When he glanced at you, you gripped the edge of the glass case for support.

“Afternoon,” he began and you tried your best to listen without screaming. “I am looking for a gift.”

“Ah- Well ...” you bit the inside of your lip, tilted your head, “If you’ll allow me some questions, I can find the best piece for you?” He nodded, once, and you set out to assist him. “All of our pieces are suitable for anyone. We take great care in making each and every one of them-”

“Do you make these?”

The question caught you off guard. Quickly, you shook your head, “Not all of them. I typically make the larger works, like these,” you pointed at a set of radiant broaches in the case over. They glittered in the light and made you happy to look at. “I’m building my skill to make finer jewelry like the rings, necklace pendants and the like.” You wanted to ramble on about your craft but forced yourself to stop. Diluc wasn’t interested in your work, he was here for a ... a gift. “Anyway, so, does this person prefer necklaces, rings, a bracelet?”

“I’m unsure,” he glanced at you. Instinctually you swallowed and looked away.

“Okay, well what color do they most often wear ...”

The two of you went back and forth for a spell. You asking questions, pulling out pieces that he might enjoy and him giving his opinion, though it was very minimal. You did your best to be encouraging, helpful, even offering to wear a few of them so he could see what they would look like. It had been a while but, surprisingly no one interrupted you.

This was certainly the longest conversation you’d ever had with Diluc. Most of the time, you managed to ask, “how are you today, Mr. Ragnvindr?” or “Do keep yourself safe on your travels,” with a soft smile and gentle wave. It was all you could do to keep your muscles contained - otherwise they’d move wildly about in your excitement. Your friends tried to strike up more in-depth conversations but you chickened out every time - cowered. But right now it seemed easier to talk to him when you knew what to say without thinking. Jewelry was one of those things you loved. Helping people find the best piece was like a puzzle, a riddle no one else could solve. It was fun, and you were having fun helping him.

“So, are we any closer to your perfect gift?” you asked with lightness in your voice. He rubbed his chin and shook his head. “It can be tough to decide. There’s no rush,” you smiled, a small chuckle floating from your throat. “What’s the occasion anyway, perhaps that will help us decide?”

“Ah--” Diluc dropped his hand and cleared his throat. Confused, you took notice of his expression only to find his cheeks flush pink as he cleared his throat again.

“... an anniversary ... maybe?” your throat felt tight at the realization. Of course he’d be here for something like this. A gift for his lover -- you heard rumors about him being with someone but it hurt to know it was true. He opened his mouth to speak but you couldn't bare to hear his answer, “If that’s the case,” you pressed on, praying your eyes would hold themselves together, “perhaps a paired piece would be best. You know, something the both of you could wear to let others know that -- um --” you blinked, bit your lip again and shook off the bubbling turmoil rising in your chest. “So sorry,” you held up your hand and reached for a cup of water on the back counter. With a large gulp, you pushed a lump back down into your chest. “So, does that sound good?” You finished, recomposed -- kinda.

“That will do nicely.”

“Excellent, then let me --”

“May I ask for a paired broach set?” He pointed toward the broaches you hadn’t even pulled out. “Something practical would be best. Would it take long to make two pieces?” He looked back at you and you clumsily placed your glass on the counter.

“N-No, It just depends on what they look like. Are you sure you want -- I mean, let me get my notebook.” You fought against your better judgement to persuade him toward something else. It wasn’t your place to question a customer; even if that customer wanted something you made to place on another. You were here to help him pick the best piece for his ... you had a job to-do.

After several minutes of discussion, you had a sketch of the pieces and materials identified for each one. In his, a carnelian stone set in the middle, its reddish-orange hues certain to mimic the shine of his hair in the mid-day sun. While in his partners would hold a sunstone surrounded by golden filigree. Both would be able to rest nicely around the wearers neck, with, or without a tie.

“These will take me about a week, is that alright?” you asked, jotting down more notes in your notebook.

“I will return in a week then.”

“Okay.” The two of you exchanged pleasantries. A bow from you, a nod from him, and after some unusual reluctance, he bid you well before leaving the store. You raced after him, locking the door so you could take a moment to let the tears you held back fall free.

A week later and the brooches were done. They were some of your most beautiful work - considering the love you had for the owner, it wasn’t surprising that these pieces would be filled with your affection.

When the day came, you couldn’t muster the strength to be there. Of course you wanted to see him, but there was no way you’d make it this time. Not in the exchange and the permanent knowing that he loved someone else. So, you asked your coworker to cover for you while you wandered around your house, depressed.

A few days later you returned home after a long day. Today was your everything day, a day where you had to run from store to store to gather your weekly necessities, where you had to tend to yourself completely, and still work at the end of it all. You were exhausted, and just wanted to fall into bed.

Luckily, you still hadn’t seen the owner of Diluc’s paired broach - you wouldn’t be able to handle it if you did. At least you could live one more day in blissful ignorance.

You approached your apartment door. The small shelf of plants greeting you as you pushed the key into the doorknob. You were about to pass through when something caught your attention. Placed carefully behind one of the pots was a box, one you’d never seen before and one you certainly didn’t place there yourself. Shifting the items in your right hand to your left, you grabbed the box and brought everything inside.

Kicking off your shoes, you rushed to the island counter in your kitchen. The bags fell over, an apple rolled to the floor, but you didn’t care. Quickly, you turned on the light so you could see the box in your hand. Your keys jingled as they slide down your finger, dangling on their metal ring so you could reach for the lid and pull it away.

When you saw the goldened broach resting perfectly in the box, you crumbled to the floor. The sunstone glittered, the delicate designs that encased it brought tears to your eyes. “Why are you ...?” In the lid was a folded piece of paper that you practically ripped open to read:

-- Diluc Ragnvindr

I apologize that I could not give this to you earlier. When you find this, I hope the message finds you well and ... conveys my intentions. If, however, they are unclear, I will explain myself further if you are free and would join me for dinner?

Ill be waiting

Your heart was pounding, hands trembling as you reached for the broach in the box. Tears flooded your eyes as you searched for the clock in your apartment. 7:00pm -- was there enough time??

You didn’t wait, didn’t change, barely remembered to put your shoes on. The world was moving so fast and you were desperately trying to keep up.

With tears drifting behind you as you ran, you prayed you weren’t too late as Angel’s Share came into view and you gripped the brooch tightly against your chest.

some things are better left unsaid screaming from the heart

xiao

Xiao made it clear he didn’t want to be part of the human world. You knew that, knew he was selective in who he appeared before, who he shared his moments with. It was enough that you got to see him on the rare occasion you were spending an evening at Wangshu Inn. Most of the time you were passing by on your travels. If you had a spare moment, you’d head to the top to check in on him - unsure if he’d be there or not - while other times you swore you saw a shadow on the balcony looking down at you. Thought it was your wistful thinking he would be able to see you all the way down here - liking someone sure created powerful delusions.

It didn’t matter if you liked him though. Xiao was a Yaksha, a protector of the land, immortal, and you were ... well none of those things. It was better to save yourself the embarrassment and him the discomfort. So you kept your love for him a secret. It was just better that way.

“Thank you, I’ll make sure it gets there safely,” you professed to the inn owner with a small bow. She seemed pleased at your commitment and bowed with an equally pleasant smile. With swiftness, you turned on your heels and made your way to the elevator. The parcel fit nicely into your backpack, which you slung over your shoulder with ease. You waited patiently for the elevator to reach you and instinctually looked up at the balcony where the vigilant yaksha often stood.

The creaking wood settled and you took several steps forward, keeping your eyes locked on the red-railed balcony. Suddenly, you were falling forward and you realized you had timed the elevator wrong. It still had several feet before reaching you. Shouting, you put your hands out to brace your fall when a gust of wind wrapped you up and set you on your feet. Your eyes were shut tight until cool hands touched your shoulders.

Startled, you peeled them open and saw Xiao standing in front of you. He looked the same as always, if not a little worried. “Be careful,” he explained, holding you until you found your footing. The elevator finally came to a stop on the top floor, before long it began its decent.

“I’m sorry - I wasn’t looking,” Xiao didn’t say anything which you were glad of. If it were anyone else they might have scolded you but Xiao wasn’t like that. “Thanks,” you mumbled, embarrassed anyway. He let you go, moving several paces back to give you room. Your heart was pounding, but that wasn’t anything new when you were near him. He always managed to to set your body racing.

“You’re here again,” he said, matter-of-factly.

“Y-yeah. I had a delivery for Smile and h-he told me Verr Goldet had a p-package. Excuse me,” you coughed, swallowing to help ease your nerves. Adrenaline was rushing through your body so you did your best to shake it off.

“Are you unwell?”

“N-No, just recovering,” you chuckled, flashing a reassuring smile his way as you shook out your leg. He didn’t say anything else the whole way down which gave you plenty of time to return to as normal as possible. “Well, see you,” you said, waving to him on the elevator as you made your way down to the road. It was going to be a long walk back to the harbor but you didn’t mind. You enjoyed the walk - except when your path was blocked by bandits or hilichurls.

You adjusted the pack on your back and began down the path when a gust of wind rushed past you. Confused, you turned investigate and were shocked to find Xiao walking slightly behind you.

“X-Xiao?” He looked at you, making you pause. “Did - um - is everything okay?”

“The road is dangerous. I’ll go with you,” he explained as he walked past you, taking the lead.

“It’s nothing I can’t handle,” you tried to explain, rushing up to meet him, eyes scanning his features and becoming even more smitten by them. Xiao was by far one of the prettiest people you’d ever seen; from his eyes to his lips he was gorgeous. You licked your lips, prying your attention back to the road. “I promise I’m not as weak as I look,” you said, raising your arm to show him your muscles - if one could call them that. He simply huffed and continued to walk beside you.

Xiao wasn’t much of a talker. Even if he was, you wouldn’t know how to strike up a conversation with him. Would he be interested in the things you had to say? What enjoyment could he get in a conversation about mundane human things when he’s seen eons go by. You gripped the straps of your bag and tried not to let your thoughts get the better of you.

The two of you walked in mostly silence. Every once in a while you’d make a comment about the scenery, ask a question about him which he’d give a curt reply to, or none at all. You did your best to stay positive but, before you knew it, the travel was over and you had reached the entrance to Liyue Harbor.

“Thanks for escorting me, Xiao,” you thanked him, slipping the bag off your back. “Here,” reaching inside, you balanced the bottom of the bag on your leg so you could grab a small, wrapped item. It had broken in transit, but that wouldn’t affect the taste. “I made these this morning. Since I don’t think you want -- or even use -- mora, this is the best thing I can give you as thanks.” You handed the food to him and he took it without protest. “It’s a honey-lavender rice cracker, they are sweet which I know is your preference.” He opened the wrapping and pulled one out that wasn’t split in two. You could still see the indent of the lavender you pressed in the middle. Smiling, you put your bag back on and began to walk further down the hill. “Thanks again, Xiao Xiao,” you chuckled, waving at him from below.

He didn’t follow you but you weren’t surprised. Xiao didn’t enjoy people so there was no way he’d willingly go into one of the busiest cities with you.

On your way, you passed by a familiar face who was looking at the hill you just descended.

“Good evening, Zhongli,” you called out and he looked down at you from the top of the bridge. His smile warm, welcoming.

“Evening,” he replied with a curt bow. You shuffled up to him, stopping just in front and gazing up at his face. He was already so tall but since he was higher on the bridge, he seemed even taller. “Returning from an delivery I see?”

“Mhmm, just made it back and am on my way to drop off a book from Verr Goldet.”

“I see,” he rubbed his chin, glancing up the hill before looking down at you, “What about your travel companion?”

“Travel companion ...?” Confused, you looked back only to realize what he meant, “Oh, Xiao?” He nodded, “He wanted to walk me back to the city. He’s never really done that before but I didn’t want to press him, ya’ know.”

“I see,” he repeated. After a moment of contemplation, his lips turned up into a smile, eyes glittering in the swaying lights. “It is unlike him to take an interest in the going on of humans. I am pleased to see him warming up to someone such as yourself.”

“O-Oh, well I don’t think I’m all that special,” you played it off, your hand waving in front of your face. “He’s just being nice ...” your mask began to fade as the words fell from your mouth, “ ... just nice ...” You could feel Zhongli’s eyes on you so you quickly snapped back, “Sorry, Zhongli. I need to get to the book-house before it closes.” You bowed quickly before rushing off further into the city.

Zhongli was astute so there was no way he didn’t notice how deflated you became. You’d never admit it to him, hell, you hardly admitted to yourself. Why would you? It was much safer to leave those desires of your heart in silence than let them be shared and destroyed in a matter of seconds. No, you’d keep the feelings you had in -- it was better that way.

Zhongli watched as you made your way through the bustling harbor. He could feel the sadness wafting off you like mist from crashing waves. Zhongli had lived long enough to know what love looked like in a persons eyes - or how it felt on the wind.

“Do not give up hope young-ones,” Zhongli hummed, head turning toward the small shadow on the hillside, “revelations may take their course in time. Isn’t that right, Alatus.“ The shadow faded but only after the figure it watched over disappeared from view. “Ah, fresh love,” Zhongli breathed deeply the air of evening waves with a knowing, energetic smile.

some things are better in their own time

#hazels works #genshin impact x gn reader #genshin angst #genshin impact #genshin angst-comfort #diluc simp elixir #genshin diluc #genshin impact diluc #diluc x gn reader #diluc x reader #genshin alhaitham #alhaitham x gn reader #xiao #xiao x gn reader #genshin xiao

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inktailsaystuff · 3 months

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Kaveh and Alhaitham Relationship Headcanons~

Tw: none

Pre-relationship~

Alhaitham was the #1 Kavetham denier

Kaveh was aware of his feelings and just kinda moped about it

Poor man thought Alhaitham didn't like him back so he would just be all sad

Alhaitham was in denial

He didn't even realize that he had been crushing on Kaveh for the longest time

He just thought that he had grown attached

Kaveh brings Alhaitham food whenever he goes out (THIS AINT A HEADCANON THIS IS CANON AND WE ALL KNOW IT)

Alhaitham's face is on like every page of Kaveh’s sketchbook

They bicker a lot but the moment Alhaitham thinks he's genuinely hurting Kaveh he gets all apologetic and switches topics

Because Alhaitham doesn't talk to people a lot Kaveh didn't really get jealous when someone flirted with Alhaitham

BUT ALHAITHAM-

Naur this man was so down bad without even knowing it if someone got too “close” with Kaveh he would try to one-up whoever the offending person's intelligence

Everyone but Alhaitham can see how Kaveh is desperately pining after him

No one can see Alhaitham pining after Kaveh other than Nahida

They just think it is an L for Kaveh and many people tell him to move on

(Kaveh does not move on)

When Kaveh gets too drunk and starts getting sad Alhaitham will “rEluCtanTly” console him.

Cyno and Tighnari have a bet on who will confess first because Tighnari heard with his massive ears Alhaitham consoling Kaveh while he was blackout drunk

Eventually Nahida steps in, after watching Alhaitham read every book in the library to try and figure out what his feelings are

Alhaitham denies the claims, and Nahida just is like: You gay.

Kaveh confesses first and has this whole rant where he's like “I know you don't feel the same way and you can kick me out of your house.”

Alhiatham just went “I like you too.” he won at life and was having an internal party

Cue awkward staring

Alhaitham just kinda asked if Kaveh wanted to kiss and they did

Dendro gays are official :D

Relationship~

They have separate rooms but despite that, Kaveh likes sleeping in Alhaitham's room since he likes being close to him

Alhaitham likes having Kaveh’s presence nearby

Alhaitham actually struggles to sleep if he can't feel Kaveh’s presence nearby

When they get into an argument Alhaitham will steal Kaveh’s keys to force Kaveh to talk to him

Despite his appearance, Alhaitham requires at least one physical contact a day with Kaveh, aka buff abs man needs a kiss to function

Alhaitham does not want Kaveh to move out, one time Kaveh mentioned it, and Alhaitham just flat-out said you're not leaving.

Alhaitham doesn't do much physical contact but he just likes having Kaveh near him, like as long as Kaveh is within arms reach he is happy

They will have dates where Alhiatham reads and Kaveh draws him

Alhiatham fills Kaveh’s sketchbook more than ever

Alhaitham likes looking at the drawings Kaveh made

Kaveh constantly gets hit on by other men because of how feminine he looks and Alhaitham just kinda glares

He wont say anything to get people to back off, he’ll just glare or move closer to Kaveh

Alhaitham is so soft for Kaveh its like wild and at the same time hes the biggest jerk to Kaveh

One of their love language is bickering,

No you can't change my mind

They will nitpick each other's tastes but never go as far as to actually hurt each other's feelings

When Kaveh cries Alhaitham just throws all his brain cells out the window, now he is just fussing over Kaveh, holding him and whispering reassurances his brain turns to mush and the only thought is to make Kaveh feel better

If anyone other than Kaveh knew about this he would kill himself he never wants this to get out

Inktail’s Dendro bonus of a wedding plan~

They both get each other rings, well Kaveh makes his for Alhaitham, and Alhaitham just buys one.

Kaveh took on like a million commissions so he could get the materials for the ring

He has an entire sketchbook dedicated to ring designs

Alhaitham just gets a simple gold ring with their names engraved (it costs more mora than the rent)

Alhaitham proposes first and after calming down a Kaveh crying from joy Alhiatham receives his ring.

While it is somewhat bedazzled and has a pair of jewels Alhiatham still wears it since Kaveh gave it to him

Kaveh got a green jewel that matched Alhaitham’s boob gem

Kaveh cried at their wedding,

Alhaitham was internally combusting at their wedding

Nahida was the officiator

Collei was the flower girl

And Scaramouche was the makeup artist

#fluff #genshinimpact #genshin impact #genshin kaveh #genshin impact kaveh #kavehtham #alhaitham x kaveh #kaveh x alhaitham #kaveh #haikaveh #alhaitham #al haithem #relationship headcanons

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gaepublishinghouse · 1 year

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Alhaitham is autistic and heres why

I already posted this on hoyolab but I figure the tumblr girlies would be interested in this insight.

Reading through his voice overs and how he behaves, it's pretty evident that he displays some traits of high-functioning ASD. I'm not an expert, but I have some insight as a psych major and from my own research. Here are some examples.

- Prefers to speak very literally. This is evident in his interactions, but he also states it himself.

"Rather than lacing my words with rhetoric, I prefer speaking factually." (About Alhaitham: Facts)

"[Alhaitham] does make comments, however, when someone has come up with something offensively foolish — and one should expect these comments to be more blunt than necessary." (Character Story 1)

- Seeming blunt, rude, or disinterested. This is also evident with his canon interactions, but here are some examples.

"Most people are wary of interacting with me. Perhaps they're afraid, or maybe they think I'm difficult to get along with. I hope to keep things this way." (More about Alhaitham: I)

"[Alhaitham] purely operates by rationality, so people often find his actions unacceptable. If you don't believe me, just ask [Kaveh] — thanks to Alhaitham, he has more pent-up frustration than an angry Anemo Slime." (Tighnari, About Alhaitham)

- Preference towards being on his own.

"I'll be taking some time for myself now. Goodbye." (Good Evening)

"I've never been interested in social interactions, and as you can see, my life is more comfortable than most. I'd say this is proof enough that being social is not one of life's necessities." (More About Alhaitham II)

"It only took half a day in the Akademiya for little Alhaitham to report this back to his grandmother: Everyone he met there was boring and he preferred reading alone to listening to their meaningless courses." (Character Story 5)

- Tendency to plan carefully before acting and distress when plans are disrupted. He very thoroughly planned the confrontation with the Sages down to possible actions they might take and how to use it to their advantage.

"Once order is disrupted, the consequences spread like wildfire. I'd like to avoid such a scenario, so I can keep my life intact and uninterrupted." (More about Alhaitham IV)

- Sensitivity to certain sensory stimuli. More specifically, Alhaitham seems to be sensitive to auditory input, and regularly uses headphones to block out external sounds.

"Alhaitham personally made the music player when he first became the scribe, and it is connected to the headphones via cables of the same color. He sometimes uses the gadget to play music, and other times, to block noise." (The Doer's Belt Pouch)

"Don't be offended if you try to greet me on the street and I don't respond. It's simply because I'm wearing my soundproof earpieces, that's all." (About Us: Greetings)

"I hope my roommate won't be hammering away on another one of his projects in the dead if night.. Actually, I'd prefer if he wasn't home at all. I really don't want to wear my soundproof earpieces to bed." (Good Night)

- Keen interest and fixation to certain activities, in this case reading difficult text and languages. The fact that he had the potential to study at the Akademiya at age seven too.

"All scholars seek knowledge and the truth. Some do so for fame, while others, for ambition. And some others enjoy conquering knowledge and the truth, transcending them, and savoring the sense of superiority in the process. Alhaitham isn't any one of them. He is only driven by what intrigues him. He believes that many scholars have already become lost in their pursuits, taking the truth as a tool or even a shortcut to self-realization." (Character Story 1)

Dont take this too seriously, it's just a "he's just like me fr fr" moment -u-

#sen hcs #genshin headcanons #genshin impact #genshin alhaitham #also feel free to add some of your own insight #but tldr this bitch is autistic and that's just facts

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liminalpsych-in-teyvat · 1 year

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I have just read the closest description to how my brain / heart function in relationships that I have ever found. And it’s in an erotic Kavetham fanfic. (forms of love, by acynthe)

Fandom and fanfiction is so surreal that way. It’s often seen and treated as trivial, but it can also be incredibly artistic, and it can have representation that’s otherwise hard to find.

Before this, the closest I had found was BBC Sherlock fanfic, and those didn’t quite hit the mark.

This one does.

(I describe this thing that happens in my brain as… keeping file folders on people I find interesting. All the observations I collect on that person goes into their mental file. And eventually those observations and data points click together to form a pattern, an interconnected picture of why the person acts the way they do, and of what’s going on beneath the surface. And new data points get added to the pattern/model of that person to flesh out a more complete understanding of them.)

(“interesting” can mean “infuriating, I don’t know why you act the way you do and so I’m annoyed by you, if I can figure out the why then I can more easily shrug off the irritating behavior”)

(and “interesting” can mean “I like you and am intrigued in a positive way, I am drawn to you and wish to make a study of you”)

(I imagine that Kaveh started in the first category for Alhaitham and over time moved to the second)

I have to flail about it somewhere, and doing so to my girlfriend of 17 years (who doesn’t play Genshin yet) wasn’t enough, so… quotes that I especially relate to beneath the cut:

—

Alhaitham’s also studied the interstices of Kaveh’s elegant fingers and wondered how his own would fit between them—the same way he’s quietly taken in the details of Kaveh’s life and wondered whether there could ever be a place for himself to fit into it somehow, amidst all that passion and all that ambition.

He collects these observations like he’s compiling a dictionary of his own—one defining all there is to know and understand about this man, about Kaveh’s relationship with himself.

Learnings handled with the utmost care. Alhaitham documents all these things far more conscientiously than any of the information he’s ever managed as Scribe. Some things are simply far more precious, after all.

—

“You don’t need to be a student of Amurta to know that’s not quite how it works.” Amusement flickers across Alhaitham’s face. “But if you must rely on physical evidence for some form of reassurance,” he takes Kaveh’s hand, and guides the palm of it to rest over his own chest, “then I’d direct you to look for it here instead.”

Here?

It takes a few seconds for Alhaitham’s meaning to register, to fully sink in.

“...Oh,” Kaveh whispers, as the rhythm of Alhaitham’s heartbeat makes itself comfortable in the home of his hand. He closes his eyes, willing his own to fall in sync, finding the pace of Alhaitham’s pulse to run unexpectedly fast for someone so seemingly unswayed and stoic on the surface. How swift and steady this heart beats—

“...For me,” Kaveh murmurs, with a quiet sort of wonder.

—

And that’s the issue with Alhaitham, isn’t it? He says such things so simply, so bluntly, like it’s the most straightforward thing in the world to accept, like it’s simply another truth of existence—and somehow they still send Kaveh’s heart in somersaults nonetheless.

—

Alhaitham soothes a hand down the curves of Kaveh’s sides. Studies him as he slips fingers into himself, opening himself up, like there’s something about the process worth analysing.

“Like what you see?”

“On the contrary,” Alhaitham’s touch ghosts over the space between Kaveh’s ribs, “it’s rather regrettable that this is all there is to the view.”

“And what do you mean by that?” Kaveh narrows his eyes. “Pray tell what it is that you find so disappointing.”

Alhaitham’s gaze sweeps over him. “That this is all there is on the surface.” His fingertips ghost over shivering skin. “That there is much more to you that my eyes cannot possibly perceive.”

Kaveh closes his eyes, that blush deepening its reach down to the base of his shoulders. “So this is what you’ve chosen to use your Haravatat education for.” He huffs out a laugh. “Waxing poetry to fluster me?”

“Not poetry,” Alhaitham says, dismissive. “Such a subject isn’t in the curriculum at all. I was merely acknowledging something I found to be a pity.”

It’s difficult for him to see this as anything but that. For all the people who meet Kaveh, it’s common to get too distracted by the radiance at his surface to look deeper than his skin.

But Alhaitham has been around long enough to see through all of that. Perhaps because when it comes to Kaveh, he is always looking. And Kaveh has always been so much more than what exists of his corporeal form to be perceived—his body but a finite vessel for an infinite mind.

What a crime it would be, to reduce someone so brilliant to the simplicity of their physicality. Alhaitham has never wanted anything less than all of him.

—

This, like most endeavours, Alhaitham approaches methodically. Brow furrowed in concentration as he works his fingers inside Kaveh, initially in an exact imitation of how he’d observed Kaveh do it to himself—an exact replication of pace and angle and pressure.

Then he gets a bit more experimental, following his own intuition as he gets a better feel for the process. Throughout, he keeps his eyes on Kaveh’s face, watching his expression to assess his response to every touch, using that to guide his own adjustment of his efforts.

—

Alhaitham hums. “Let’s put it this way. I’m exempt from a certain sort of attraction,” he says, “but I’m certainly not blind.”

“...Oh.” Kaveh pauses, processing those words into something warm and hopeful. “And what do you like about what you see?”

“What I like?”

Alhaitham doesn’t even have to spare a second thinking about it—it’s like there’s a list already waiting for him in the back of his mind.

“The outline that the side of your face cuts against the sunset,” he says. “How your eyes are the colour of wine. Your hair could be an instrument of alchemy, with the way it catches daylight and transmutes it into gold. The shape your hand constructs when poised with a quill perched between your fingers. This arc between your shoulder and neck.” He traces the path gently, and the touch tingles like his fingers are stained in stardust. “I hope that answers your question.”

—

Alhaitham knows he may never be able to look at Kaveh the way he may wish to be seen sometimes, the way he may wish to be wanted. He can admire Kaveh for all his aesthetic appeal, certainly, but there are certain desires his mind simply does not have access to. And maybe that means he won’t be able to fulfill a need Kaveh may carry, one craving a certain sort of validation.

… “You’ve had other partners, I assume, who are able to properly appreciate a facet of your allure that is inaccessible to me.” Alhaitham pauses. “I can’t think of you like that. I don’t think I ever can.”

He wonders what he can do, wonders what he should promise in compensation. “I don’t know how it feels to think of you in that way,” Alhaitham continues, the space in his chest suddenly tight like it already knows the importance of what he’s going to express, “but I do know how it feels to be in love with you.”

—

“Maybe they will never be able to comprehend each other, not in their entireties. They are two pieces from different puzzles after all. But if what’s ahead of them is a lifetime of learning, there can be no other person more fascinating to figure out than someone so diametrically opposed to yourself.”

#Genshin impact #genshin fanfic #alhaitham #kaveh #kaveh x alhaitham #alhaitham x kaveh #kavetham #asexuality #ace spec #asexual #ace representation #sex positive ace #acynthe #Intp #haikaveh #fic rec #character analysis

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lachesine · 11 months

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i tried to write another haitham analysis on a specific topic but found myself derailed. many thoughts head full, so im just gonna write it all

i think alhaitham's damage is that he is a hypocrite

at first i thought it was bad writing (and there's a VERY GOOD chance it still is) but there are a few instances i've noticed where i went "wait didn't he do the exact opposite of that exact thing"

part of the archon quest is that the akasha terminal has the ability to predict the actions of people, particularly people that have had a lot of information about them entered into it, like cyno. so alhaitham has to strategize around that weakness

but like. alhiatham... kinda does the exact same thing as the akasha, but from within the confines of his own mind

i've been thinking of him as a one-man Laplace's Demon - learning as much about his surroundings as he can, so he can perfectly predict any given outcome, thus eliminating randomness and chance

he reads extensively about topics from a variety of sources, he knows everything going on at the akademiya due to his job as the scribe, and he knows enough human psychology to completely unravel kaveh's damage when few others have

in both the archon quest and his story quest he executes a perfect plan to undermine an intelligence that seeks to challenge him, relying solely on the information he already has, and intervening in order to learn more and eventually set things right. or rather, set things in the most favorable outcome for himself

in both scenarios, he alone is functionally equivalent to the akasha and to the hivemind - approaching things rationally, predicting outcomes, and exploiting whatever loopholes he can shake loose with the information privileges he has

again, it could be sloppy writing that alhaitham never gets to be wrong or genuinely challenged, but it doesn't escape me that he calculates the actions of others just as much as the akasha did, and that the showdown between himself and these larger intelligences always lands flawlessly in alhaitham's favor, because alhaitham is always better i guess

or rather, alhaitham's only advantage is that he's more rational and more careful than the intelligences he goes up against. and that is just not super compelling

Alhaitham: Your perspective is entirely born from your habitual way of looking at things. Alhaitham: From your perspective, you probably think I'm like you: Someone who doesn't "fit in." However, I've never placed myself on a pedestal. Alhaitham: I just want to distance myself from meaningless noise and look at everything objectively. Alhaitham: On the other hand, you have failed to come to terms with who you truly are. You care too much about winning and how others perceive you. Siraj: You mean to say that… I'm the arrogant one here? Alhaitham: Is that not so? Arrogant, and emotionally fragile. Alhaitham: You view people as a simple, mediocre collective, while you regard me as "one of your kind."

because alhaitham's never allowed to be caught off guard

so his only advantage is that he's so mysterious that people project the role of the egocentric genius onto him, completely unaware of who he is or his actual thought process

not that it's easy to figure him out. alhaitham is both lazy and selfish - he only puts in as much effort as he sees as necessary, and when it comes to putting in extra effort or obligation, he simply will not do it, even if it comes to getting along with people

in practice, this also means he is EVASIVE. he will dodge questions, he will derail the conversation, he will change the subject, as long as it means he doesn't have to spend extra time explaining something for no return to him personally

Paimon: Paimon's curious about something, though. You definitely weren't one of those students who needed Canned Knowledge to graduate from the Akademiya, right? So why are you risking getting caught by the matra for this capsule? Traveler: I'm also curious about this. Alhaitham: When you are unable to understand a researcher's actions, most cases can be attributed to curiosity. This is but one theory. Paimon: Hmm… Sounds like you're trying to avoid the question. Alhaitham: Alright, let's begin the test. Just fight as you normally do.

gaslight 👏 gatekeep 👏 genius of haravatat

people like to use the word antisocial to describe people who just don't do a lot of socializing, but i don't want to use it like that, because i think in order to actually be antisocial, you have to genuinely and intentionally disrupt social conventions

rather, alhaitham is asocial. he's not so unreasonable that he ignores the advantages of society, but he recognizes its pitfalls, and avoids the trappings of society when it doesn't serve him

i previously wrote up a post where i theorized that his goal was personally acting as an inhuman objective observer

i dont know if i would say that haitham is antisocial, but he does aggressively separate himself from society to the point of wanting to be an “outside observer” who can see things objectively there is an impossible ideal hidden in the goal of being objective, as a human being with subjective experiences, and yet alhaitham pursues it anyways. by sticking his grubby scholarly fingers in as many problems that come across his desk as he can, he ends up learning new things, which he needs to do in order to keep up with his impossible, infinitely-unattainable goal

i still think this is true, even if his goal is not always to share the truth with others, and just keep it for himself instead. we know that the laws of physics on a relativistic scale can be subjective, but thankfully for alhaitham the mundane world we interact with doesn't dip into relativity to an inconvenient extent

but even so, sometimes the truth is not something cold, solid, and clear to anyone who sees it with unclouded eyes. not everything can be sorted and categorized into true and untrue, and sometimes the truth is something lost, never be recovered. but these problems don't sway him

[Alhaitham] is only driven by what intrigues him. He believes that many scholars have already become lost in their pursuits, taking the truth as a tool or even a shortcut to self-realization. However, whether one seeks it or not, the truth is always there, hanging high above the sky like an illuminating star. It is not the end of a trip or the destination of a match. It is and shall remain constant, regardless of human existence.

alhaitham's not a hardcore rationalist who disregards things like emotions and lived experiences. to him, it is the height of ignorance to try and simplify people down to one or two traits

Alhaitham: Putting aside the validity of the data, it is meaningless to judge individuals based solely on their Jnana Energy. Alhaitham: At most, Jnana Energy can only be seen as representing a portion of a person's abilities. Humans are complicated beings, so it is impossible to evaluate them using a single criterion.

but when it comes to concepts and ideals, he doesn't treat them with the same amount of diligence. the idea that things can be objective is itself an ideal - much as he would hate to admit it to kaveh - and yet he places value in it anyways. though the reasons are different, it's no less vapid than kaveh's desire to save the world

i think kaveh needs a lot of therapy, and once he's in a better place, i think he could genuinely challenge alhaitham in their philosophical debates

but as things stand, it looks like genshin impact doesn't want to challenge alhaitham too hard, so his mirror image is an emotional wreck that he can dodge derail distract, and continue on as he always has

at least they get along when kaveh's not in a tizzy

Kaveh: Anyway, you should take a look at this! Look at this comment on page eighty-two: "Dear Kaveh, thank you so much for annotating this book in such detail. It was a great help to me!" Kaveh: See that? Now that's how a student should treat their seniors! Alhaitham: And it looks like you're already in a much better mood now. It really doesn't take much to make you happy, huh.

#genshin impact #alhaitham #zee.txt #gensh.zee.txt #i crack open alhaithams skull (affectionate)#gensh ponderings #[stuffs papers in my drafts] n-no im not posting alhaitham analysis at midnight when i have work tomorrow #anyways i want them to be friends again but itll be some work

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