#but anyway I have Thoughts and I'm making it everyone else's problem
Note
Can we have kalim's ending for the yuu auction as well? I was pretty excited for his outcome
of course of course!
parts 1 | 2 | 3 | kalim | bad ending
summary: a kalim ending
type of post: short fic
characters: kalim
additional info: yuu is gender neutral, this is maybe a little short, hi kalim :)
"Problems don't just go away when you throw money at them, you know," Vil says. The tone of his voice is sour, and he's making no effort to hide it. "You'll have to actually take some responsibility."
Leona rolls his eyes. "Oh, shut it. They're not a pet, they can handle themselves. You're just butthurt it wasn't you,"
"And yet, here you are, still moping just the same," he snaps back. "Kalim, congratulations. I'm sure the prefect will- where'd he go?"
Despite their best efforts, Kalim hadn't heard a single word of the other housewarden's well wishes (and warnings).
He was gone before they'd even started, in fact.
Even with all he'd had prepared beforehand- the new room, the uniforms, all of your favorite foods- there was suddenly a list a mile long on his mind.
First, he had to get you.
Then, he had to show you around your new place.
Then, dinner.
Followed by dessert, of course.
(Maybe a light appetizer to start? Why hadn't he thought of that already?!)
And then he'd treat you to an evening of your favorite songs, laughter, and fun.
So on, and so forth.
Kalim may be a little oblivious at times, but your poor condition at Ramshackle is no secret to anyone. He'd been talked out of helping more than once before- and, so, this was his chance.
The gravity of technically owning a person who doesn't legally exist in this world hasn't crossed his mind even once. The way he sees it, he gets to host you indefinitely, take you on vacations with his family, treat you to the life you deserve after all you've done for everyone, and no one can tell him no.
Though, something still sits in the back of his mind, something that asks him to walk before running. A voice of reason.
If Kalim had a shoulder angel and devil, both of them would somehow be Jamil:
"I would advise taking it easy on them as they adjust. This whole spectacle must have been difficult for them. You're a good listener when you try. Now's a chance to show that,"
More than anything, Kalim wants to impress you.
Such a thought would make anyone else scoff- the gold and jewels and magic carpets aren't enough?
And his answer would be... well... no.
Kalim possesses many things. He has entire houses full of treasure, trinkets, fine silks, servants at his every whim... and yet, he's still missing something crucial. Something he's become more and more aware of since coming to NRC.
A bond.
Of course, he loves his siblings. And his parents. And the students in Scarabia. And the students in the other dorms. He might consider all of the above friends, but not at the emotional level he seeks. Jamil is a work in progress. But you- you're already well-acquainted, and friendly. You're a gracious guest, a great listener, and... well, you had the kind of bond he looks for with so many other people on campus.
Why else would everyone be lining up to pay to be your friend otherwise?
(That's how he saw it, anyway).
So, he listens. Makes an effort to, anyway. He even stops feeding Grim at dinner when you ask him to.
"Oops!" he says, offering the direbeast a gold-lined handkerchief to wipe around his mouth. "But it's good, right? Jamil's family recipe is always delicious!"
You quirk a smile at him. "I liked it. Grim?"
Grim mumbles something indistinct and crawls to sit on the other side of you.
"I'm glad! I remember you telling me that you miss it from your home- I can't believe some of our recipes are so similar!" he beams. "Maybe Scarabia will start feeling like a home to you, too, then!"
You laugh, a little awkwardly. "Aha... maybe. This is all just so sudden,"
"But... good, right?"
"Yes, good," you smile, tilting your head to the side. "It's a step up from being Crowley's errand-runner and sleeping in the cold, at least."
"Well, you'll certainly never be cold here!"
He laughs again, and a murmur of agreement ripples through the students in attendance, all the way down to the end of the long table.
"Ah... Kalim, this is nice. Really nice... I don't know how I'm going to repay you for any of this,"
"Pay? Like with money?" he raises an eyebrow. "You're my guest, and an honorary member of Scarabia now, so you don't have to do anything but relax."
That's not exactly what you meant, though you don't have the heart to explain what exactly Crowley's care had been like.
"...Right. But really, if you need anything done- I'll be glad to do it,"
He's quiet for a moment, thinking. "Well... if you're really bored, I'm sure you could find something to do. We have lots of board games,"
"No, I meant like, work,"
Kalim blinks. "Why would you have to work?"
You should've just let it go. Now this is getting embarrassing, admitting all that Crowley had you do when you had no say in the matter.
"You know... to earn my keep,"
"Earn your..." he squints. "You don't have to earn anything. Having you here is reward enough for me!"
Sometimes his oblivious nature can be a little comforting.
And even though it's dark, his positivity is as radiant as the sun... you can't help but return his smile.
"Alright, then,"
"Alright! Now..." he says, looking around the table. "Who's ready for dessert?"
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I've noticed a pattern in anticapitalist books I read (specifically I'm talking abt Mark Fisher here, in Capitalist Realism). They do this great anticapitalist analysis etc and then go on to critique their students? and sometimes it's a bit ableist? it's like all the critical thought goes out of the window and they cannot understand the situation because for once suddenly they are in the authoritative position. It always gives me this "I don't understand these kids, back in my day-" vibe, and I see this with lecturers at university too. like Mark Fisher maybe we can think outside the box about your student who "needs" headphones to focus in class "even though no music is playing". and maybe it's not to do with the "Matrix"(????) I'm well aware this was written in 2008 but it's weird that I see this pattern continue today. Not to mention Mark Fisher took part in some ableist studies, and was a guy with questionable intentions on occasion.
it's like you Just said that reducing labour is good why are you calling your students lazy, that's so unprofessional and privileged. I wonder of coincidence that he is anti-meds when his right wing, pro-eugenics, accelerationist friend was addicted to amphetamines.
Or even just the amount of people who have written books about laziness and anticapitalism (excluding you) and just saying the most contradictory shit ever?? or not following their own ideology???
Anyway, I wonder if, when writing Laziness Does Not Exist, you came across any of this and were equally as baffled.
Materialism is just *so* true that high-status academics don't have a vested class interest in seeing their student struggles as legitimate or in recognizing the struggles of disabled people in general. For many edgy academic leftists having the correct opinions is just a way to flex one's intellectual status, not a lived experience they give a shit about. I'm not shitting Fisher in particular in saying this, it's more that it's a really widespread problem in the culture of these kinds of (very white, very academic, very cishet) leftists communities. You see the same kind of thing among some of the Chapo stan types, too, you don't have to be specifically an academic to do it -- lots of people throwing around the r-slur and flexing on how much they have read and doing fuck all for the oppressed people around them. I tend to find it especially common among people who inherited leftism from their (often academic) parents? Whereas leftist communities populated by Black & brown anarchists and working class people tend to fare a lot better in this particular respect.
Note that I'm not saying a person's identities are a guarantee of them being any more radical -- there's lots of liberals lurking in our midsts of all identities for instance -- more that someone's orientation toward power tells you a lot. and unfortunately there is an approach to leftism that puts a lot of stock in either institutional power via the academy, or in a kind of soft power of intellectual authoritativeness that tends to punish anyone who is supposedly less well read, less intelligent, lazy, needs disability accommodations, has trauma triggers, or what have you.
The simple answer is that power and privilege obscures other people's challenges from you, and the desire to preserve one's power (be it actually institutional academic authority or just the status of the person who supposedly knows the most in the room) leads to a lot of oppressive behavior. a lot of these guys that you're talking about believe in communism sincerely but they don't have humility, they believe themselves to be superior to most everyone else. and they tend to be white guys from wealthy families who either do not have any disabilities of their own, or they have the undiagnosed intj mastermind rational flavor of autism that makes you feel incredibly alienated from others but interpret that alienation as a sign of your intellectual superiority. (i had this type but i got better. a little)
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Power ranking BG3 ladies based on how much I'd personally like to marry them
All main and supporting women: Shadowheart, Lae'zel, Karlach Minthara, Jaheira, Isobel, Aylin, Mizora, Orin
Plus my background babes: Florrick, Talli, Alfira, Lakrissa, Araj, Nocturne, Skoona, Adrielle, Z'rell, Roah, Nine-Fingers, and special guest star Philomeen
*Isobel and Aylin deserve to be regarded as individuals occasionally, so yes I'm wrecking that home (Alfira and Lakrissa too)
*essentially, top 10 is "women I would like to marry" and 11-21 and is "women I would not like to marry"
Quartermaster Talli. Granted she has an unfair advantage due to looking and vibing as a fusion of my IRL girlfriend and the butch lesbian who installed my new garage door 3 years ago whom I'm still mildly obsessed with. But anyway, we'd have a really great life together. We'd be able to communicate, we'd be compatible in the bedroom, we have similar values. Wife material, Grade A - the gold standard comparison for everyone else on the list.
Isobel. We'd have our tiffs (we can both be a little catty and sensitive), but overall we'd be a pretty stable match. We'd put in the work to make it last. I feel like being a cleric counts as a "job" so I appreciate that.
Nocturne. My #1 "I can fix her" pick because I think I actually can. I appreciate a hard worker, so Nocturne having distinguished herself in her uh workplace enough to become an officer is very respectable to me. We could go to therapy together. Not a perfect match, but I think we could make it work.
Lakrissa. Would be an easy second place if she didn't read so young. She's a little immature (a little over-dedicated, a little too self-sacrificing) and so she'd have to do some growing up, but I think we could make it work.
Florrick. Even though she's my #1 beloved and by FAR the sexiest person in the entire game and I would do anything to [redacted], we'd be like two brick walls getting married. We're too similar. But sheer affection and lust propel her to the top 5 anyway, even though we'd probably be married 10 sexless years before one of us finally snapped and filed for divorce.
Skoona. Assuming she drops the whole self-deprecating thing (can't stand that). She has a job, she's sensitive, she's romantic, she's humble, and she's hot. I don't think we'd knock each others' socks off, but we'd be a nice match.
Lae'zel. Extremely 22 years old and that's an issue for me. I'm also too sensitive to make it through her tough outer shell to get to the soft waifu meat inside. However, she does have amazing wife material to uncover, so I think if I could be her second wife, we'd be golden.
Adrielle. We'd have our problems as two neurotic faux-normies, but we're neurotic in different ways, so maybe we'd complete each other? She's very conscientious and thoughtful, though, which are the most important wife traits for me. With commitment and therapy, we'd make it work, but it wouldn't be the smoothest ride.
Jaheira. I don't really want to be a step parent to young kids, so that pulls her down the list a bit, but there's no way I couldn't have her in the top 10. We'd get along great; we have the same sense of humor; we're both not clingy. A good match, but not really the wife for me.
Minthara. I want her so bad but she'd eat me alive and not in the sexy way. I would let her walk all over me for 2-3 years though, assuming she didn't dump me first. Impossible to rank below the top 10, but objectively not the wife for me.
Shadowheart. Like Lae'zel, there's a lot to get through before you get to the wife material deep inside. I would also need to be her second wife. Also, I'm not doing that cottagecore shit and I cannot have that many animals in my house.
Araj. I know I called her bad in bed 2 different ways in two other posts but that's not a problem, she's so sexy and interesting to me that I know I would fall super hard for her. I too love science? We have something in common. I feel like she'd bring out a lot in me, not necessarily good things, but to be loved is to be changed? I would probably come to my senses before really risking it all though.
Alfira. I love her so much but I am no Lakrissa, I could not handle both supporting her while she pursues her artistic goals AND having to top every time. We'd be that miserable couple that lets it drag on forever because nothing is *wrong* even though nothing is *right* and wind up hating each other.
Nine-Fingers. She'd stress me out too much. Running the streets, making enemies... what if a shake-down goes wrong? Admittedly I'm tempted to live out my mafia wife fantasies with her, but realistically, I think I'd have too many nervous breakdowns to make it worth it.
Karlach. The divorce would be so epic that I almost wanted to rank her higher, but I just know deep down that we would trigger/frustrate the fuck out of each other and completely implode long before making it to the courthouse and/or altar.
Aylin. I routinely get over-stimulated by my cats brushing against my leg when I'm trying to multi-task working and listening to music, so there is no universe in which I could tolerate being married to Aylin. She's too exuberant and touchy. I would be scream-crying WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME every time she simply asked me how my day was in her usual volume. An absolute disaster, she'd smother me despite her best intentions.
Z'rell. She can have place #17 to match the 17 husbands which I would not be okay with. I'm not jealous, but I'm not THAT not jealous. She's also just really harsh and I'm a crier, so we probably would not be able to have a conversation, let alone a relationship.
Roah Moonglow. Like Nine-Fingers, but I feel like the Zhent is like, a second-rate criminal organization and so it'd be like being a second-rate mafia wife. All the stress, fewer fist-sized emerald necklaces.
Mizora. On top of everything else, she's also a corporate LAWYER... yuck
Philomeen. I would go on 1 date with Philomeen, let her start a blowup fight with me outside of [regional burrito chain], let her neg me into fucking anyway, go no contact, and let her booty call me 2 years later at 3AM like nothing happened, but I would not even slightly consider dating her, let alone marrying her.
Orin. Ignoring the whole serial killer thing that's neither here nor there, the problem is the combo of overbearing family (my #1 dealbreaker of all time) and lack of communication skills (my #2 dealbreaker of all time). Like I'd be constantly trying to get her to go no contact with Serevok and she'd never listen and she'd always be talking in fucking Dr Seuss riddles and disappearing and pissing me off.
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House MD Characters and Their Mentors
Oh look it's more of this very niche character analysis. This time I'm looking at which of @lorata's District Two Victors would be good mentors for House characters. House fans reading this: you would really like Lorata's writing. Only limited Hunger Games knowledge required (basically you need to know the premise); lots of messed up people making the best of things, found family shenanigans, emotional angst, and queerness.
Anyway, time for mentors!
James Wilson: Devon. The essence of a Devon tribute. Really wants to make the world better. Fairly messed up and depressed, but does genuinely care about the district, and even the kid he volunteers for. The one bit of really key information we are provided about Devon's tributes is that Devon's dreamers burn bright, but flame out as the reality of the Games shatters their world view. This reminds me a lot of how House says that "Wilson thinks that if he cares enough he'll never have to die" contrasted with Wilson's feelings of betrayal and devastation that he, a oncologist who gave his life to treating cancer, is dying of cancer. He served the Capitol, believed everything the Center told him, and the truth of the Games ---the pain and the guilt and the injustice of it all--- is a sudden betrayal that completely unbalances him. The only way he wins is through temporary Arena madness, the kind of desperation that caused him to double his dose of chemo in a last ditch effort to survive and make the world make sense again during canon. Devon's main challenge post-Arena is helping him rebuild his shattered sense of self: Wilson thought he was a good person, but you can only win the Hunger Games by being vicious. Devon, as someone who had a similar break, is the best choice to help him form a cohesive identity. Devon can see him for who he actually is, all of it, and still say he cares. Devon can cite his own struggles with accepting care without "enough work" in return to get Victor!Wilson to step back from compulsively ignoring his needs to "earn" affection. Devon can pull him out of spirals about how his mental state is worse than his brother's now and show him how there is a way forward. The Victory Tour almost kills him, all those people hate him even though he only ever did what was asked of him and what he thought was right. Along with Devon, there is probably only one other person who could help him embrace that he does not need to be perfect or liked by everyone, which brings us to...
Gregory House: Adessa. I went through multiple avenues with this one. First I thought Callista, because viciousness and unapologetic attitude. Then I thought Lyme, because abusive childhood, resentment of the rules, and attachment issues. So we had option A and option B...and we somehow landed around option L. I dismissed Callista because of the reasons I thought Lyme. I moved away from Lyme because she works best with tributes who want to open up but can't until after they win. Claudius wants a family, Misha wants affection, etc. House wouldn't want to open up--- he would want respect, validation, and someone to make everything make sense. The reasons Adessa wasn't a good fit for Nero would make her a great fit for Victor!House. Nero wanted to be told Adessa loves him, but House wouldn't trust any obvious display of affection---instead perceiving his mentor's care for him through nonverbal actions she takes: exactly what Adessa expected to be true of Nero. Adessa can make recovery and all the chaotic, swirling feelings fit within a reasonable framework. She can answer his questions and treat him like someone with a rational mind. She knows that if he opens up, he probably doesn't want to be touched. She understands why he doesn't want the cuddly relationship that Victor!Wilson would have with Devon. She wouldn't pressure him to talk about feelings before he was ready and would give him space when he was ready. She understands his intellectual curiosity. She's probably the only one who could get him to invest in therapy. He wouldn't go based on "I've been there" talks or "I care about you" talks, he would go because "after a significant trauma the logical course of action is to seek medical care, so that one can be assigned medications to regulate neurotransmitters, and to remove unwanted chaos so one can better focus on more important matters." Oh, and also if John House every showed up to take credit for shaping his son into a Victor, Adessa has a briefcase full of knives and decades of fantasizing about taking revenge on behalf of her Victors. They would find his body in pieces...probably. If Adessa was feeling nice and wanted Blythe to have closure.
Devon is terrified when Adessa requests a meeting with him. Misha asks him what he did like fifty times and he doesn't know. He almost calls his mentor, but doesn't because he's a mentor too now, dammit and Adessa totally shouldn't scare him anymore. When he shows up she opens with: "Our Victors appear to have significant romantic attraction to each other. Shall we hasten their union via jointly planned manipulation, culminating in an arranged one-on-one meal over candlelight, perhaps involving the exchange of flowers?"
Lisa Cuddy: Nero. This one is hard. Cuddy is a lot more difficult to analyze than House and Wilson even though I actually prefer her over House (Wilson is my favorite, he just has so many problems, weird habits, and hidden depression). She has a lot of contradictions. She's manipulative, but empathetic. She genuinely advocates for the rules, but allows for crazy ass things to take place. She seems to argue for the rules because she has to, but is inherently drawn to the more chaotic, vigilante tendencies of House. She puts on a show of obeying regulations set by those above her, but seeks power so that she can facilitate what she thinks is right (she repeatedly says she's the only one who would employ House). This is reflective of a Nero tribute. She doesn't know why she is drawn to violence and competition of the Centre, but she is. She completes her kill tests with the highest scores in her year, but she mainly only feels guilty for not feeling guilty. She doesn't have a rationalization for why she is like this the way someone with House's history has. She should want to join the Peacekeepers or be a medic. But the more time passes in the Centre, the more she wants to win the Hunger Games. She goes into the Games a year early, the youngest District Two volunteer in history, and even though she knows the killing is wrong she still wants to win because why shouldn't it be her? She's better at this than the others. However, the inner conflict causes problems post-Games, as the criticisms from other districts actually hurt her, because she agrees. She knows there's something wrong, she fears she might secretly be evil. Nero, with a lifetime of dealing with conflicted, crazy tributes, knows how to reassure her that even if that something is actually wrong, she still has people who love her.
Bonus! Ducklings:
Foreman: Brutus. He's just here to do his job. He knows he's better than his Centre rivals, so his job is the Games. Trying to make it right or wrong will only drive you crazy.
Chase: Lyme. Daddy issues, alcoholism in the family history, wants the authority to like him. Lots of weird hidden triggers.
Cameron: Emory. Wants to be a decent person, just kept going in the Centre because she figured no one would pick her and she owed it to her district to keep trying. She had a baby Victor crush on House and Adessa had to take Emory aside and be like "the baby is making my Victor uncomfortable, tell her to calm down."
Thirteen: Misha. Rules are for suckers, enjoy your life while you have it, desperately try to find meaning in the world while pretending you don't give a shit.
Kutner: Lyme. Wants to find a place to belong, shoves his emotional issues down because he thinks nobody cares. Thinks outside the box, but still responds well around authority he respects.
Taub: I have no fucking idea. Seriously, the more I try to think about this the more I have no thoughts, head empty. Maybe Odin? Odin has a "do what you're supposed to do no matter what, no matter the cost" ideology that would cause a mentor mismatch like Adessa and Nero but at least that mismatch is something.
Anyway if one (1) person requests a Victors!House/Wilson I will write scenes so you have been warned.
#house md#gregory house#james wilson#lisa cuddy#the ducklings#the hunger games#district two#lorataverse#we must be killers: tales from District Two#mentor meme#character analysis#like really niche character analysis#a longwinded piece of character analysis that will make no sense to anyone? me? you must be mistaken#but anyway I have Thoughts and I'm making it everyone else's problem
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Fig's line "I don't think I'm an artist, I think I'm just a good friend" has not left my head at all. Just...
You're Fig Faeth and your horns came in over the summer and you pick up the bard class as a form of adolescent rock 'n' roll rebellion, and it works! It's exactly the outlet you need! You give a guy you just met drumsticks and you start a band and it's good enough that within a year and a half you're touring. You are, in every sense, good at being a bard.
And then, finally, your junior year, you start to take it seriously. Your art goes from an outlet and a form of rebellion to a practice. A discipline. (Can rebellion exist within a discipline?) Your classmates know what they want to do with their work. They all have a thesis statement. And yeah, there's cohesion in the music you make, but you've never had to think about why you make it. You've never sat down and dissected what it is about bass that speaks to you. You've never poured over your lyrics to pick at any deeper meaning. Why should you? You don't play music for a grand design, you do it to... huh, why do you do it?
(Your art is the one form of self-expression that feels as safe as Disguise Self does, because even if you're pouring your heart onto the page and then screaming it in front of thousands of people, it's not like you're really making yourself known. You can sing I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm furious, and your fans will sing it right back, and there will still be the distance between performer and audience to keep your heart safe.)
Now you're being asked to look inward to explain the artistic choices you're making, and you can't help but recoil at that, because you'd rather do anything than look inward. Meanwhile, your classmates have no problem with it, so you start to wonder if you're a real artist at all. Can your art be authentic if it only exists to bolster a thesis statement? Has your art been unauthentic this whole time because you've never really thought about a thesis statement before? Is that what makes it art, and not just the next track on somebody's teen angst playlist?
You can't think about yourself— acknowledging your own existence makes you want to puke. So if your music is an extension of yourself, (and it is, even if it's just because the spotlight reveals only what you want it to,) you can't think about your music. You can't. You have to. Your grade depends on it.
You're Fig Faeth, and you keep multiclassing because you'd rather be a good friend than a great artist. If introspection is what great art demands, then fuck it. You must not be a bard at all.
#Dimension 20#fig faeth#fhjy#Idle Chatter#my last two years of college were when I started to get more and more nauseous about my own art#because I wasn't being taught how to make the art I wanted to make#the whole curriculum's focus was on gallery art#which infuriated me! I wanted to make art that didn't have to involve twelve layers of meaning and metaphor to be considered good!!#so I drove myself into the ground time and again trying to make (miserable) work that I thought would fit the criteria of a Real Artist#anyway it's been 4 years and I'm just now picking at why I don't enjoy creating anymore so Fig's whole arc has hit home in a major way#ALSO. AAAAALSO. THE ADHD STRUGGLE WE SEE WITH BOTH FIG AND KRISTEN. LOVING SOMETHING BUT STILL STRUGGLING WITH FOLLOW THROUGH#BEING TOLD YOU'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH WHEN IT'S SO FUCKING HARD JUST TO GET WHERE EVERYONE ELSE IS AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IT'S HARD FOR YOU#it was easy and now that the rubber's hit the road it's hard for you but not for others so it must be YOU that's the problem#you must be lazy or stupid or just not suited to this after all even though it's part of a pattern that has been happening all your life#if you were good enough or cared enough then surely the discipline would come easily to you! the way it comes easily to all your classmates#SCREAMS I gotta stop before I write a second essay in the tags. I'm so normal you can trust me to be normal about D&D characters
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You have a choice to make.
After the pieces are cut from you, after the silence has fallen and you're tasked with the protection and continued survival of a child you are wholly unprepared to raise, you have a choice to make.
It is a choice that you've been backed into.
You have a support system, you have a family. You have old friends and lifelong partners. One of them is struggling to keep his pieces in place, the other is struggling to rebuild the cracked foundation of a cursed home. You can't reach out to either of them, not because of their own struggles.
The choice you have to make is going to dirty your name further, and already people are going to be dragged down by the filth the world now sees you covered in.
You weren't dirty by choice before. The choice is going to make the difference.
You choose your words carefully, you choose who you contact even more so. You choose patience and surveillance. You choose a mask and wear it in place to meet with another masked man. You choose the friend who is a viper in human skin.
You choose to look as if you've fallen on impossibly hard times, as if your friends have abandoned you, as if you struggle to support the needs of a child. It makes you look like prey to a predator. You are a wolf in the clothes of a wounded sheep. The blood attracts the predator you hunt, and you let him get close.
You let him twist himself into you, as he looks for any threat you may carry. You let him open your rib cage to look for danger and poison and he finds none but the poison he's left there himself. You live with that poison for as long as it takes to gather your information. You pretend you've forgotten the law you worked so hard to represent. You pretend you've forgotten those you befriended.
You make a choice, and the viper comes into the trap.
You make the choice for seven years, and the trap finds its bait. The trap snaps shut on the viper's throat.
You use other hands, other claws and teeth, to accomplish your hunt. You and the viper are no longer so separate. It takes a delicate hand to keep from being snared in the same trap, but you still cause collateral damage.
You made that choice.
And even when the work is done and the viper is removed, there is still the poison he left behind. In you, in the system, in the damage. Your choices cannot be taken back. You can be given the clothes you once wore, the badge you once upheld, the job you were removed from, but the person who wore all those is gone. The choice was a sacrifice of that person, and what's left has to pick up the pieces.
The choice was made, and you don't know who you are anymore.
#Ace Attorney#Gyakuten Saiban#Phoenix Wright#Naruhodou Ryuuichi#tega writes#Tega's art#character study#ssh spoilers#Sanity don't look you haven't played this game yet#AA4 spoilers#Gee Phoenix how come Tega writes you two character studies#Phoenix is a completely different character in the second half I stand by this#It's not MY fault AA5 and 6 largely drop the ball in regards to that character trajectory#So anyway continuing to write things and make it everyone else's problem#The phrase YOU HAVE A CHOICE TO MAKE came barrelling at me and I had to write it#we back in second person town babey#I'm working on a susato one but all my thoughts are disjointed so it's not ready yet#at some point I'll get these on ao3 probably#if you saw me post this on my artblog#well it was too annoying I had to put it on the right blog okay I was going to be driven insane#idk why it's not like I'm ashamed of writing#I've shown family my artblog that has saucy art on it now lmao#bUT IT WAS GOING TO BOTHER ME SO HERE WE ARE
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i saw family (one of my cousins, but not the one i'm fighting with) for the first time in a month and it actually went well
i am pleasantly surprised
#it was my problem cousins older sister#problem cousin (k) still isn't talking to me#but her sister (j) is the only one in the family who is treating me even somewhat normally#(which isn't entierly surprising bc she's the only one in our family who makes an effort to actually have a relationship with everyone)#(it just sucks that no one else will even talk to me right now)#anyways i thought i was gonna end up crying tonight#and she didn't even bring up the fight or the rest of the family once#which i super fucking appreciate#it was just. it was a nice night#and i'm really really happy with how it went#personal rambles#ignore this#not stargate#stick live blogs her crisis
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lol just found out the former owner of this property has been surveilling all our mail via usps's informed delivery service, to which he still has access because he never bothered to file a change of address with them even though it's been literal years at this point, and so now i get to put 'calling the post office to get him kicked off because what the actual fuck' on my to-do list for the day!
also: i found this out because he emailed my dad an image of a piece of mail he wants us (me) to forward to him. flames on the side of my face.
#like—i was mildly annoyed when i thought it was just him being lazy#but the fact that his inaction has given him ongoing access to peruse all the mail we receive?#which on the basis of this email he clearly does at least sometimes?#CREEPY. like yeah it's whatever but also it's the principle of the thing!#anyway. as much as anything i'm irritated bc i'm not running on enough sleep#but. greargh. 🦖#(i mean‚ i'm also irritated bc my dad should have told him politely but firmly *years* ago that we'd forwarded more than enough of his mail#and that it was past time for him to file a change of address with USPS#but bc he's such a fucking doormat‚ the whole thing didn't get resolved#and is now *my* problem‚ unless i'm happy to let this guy keep viewing all my mail. which i'm not.#which is always how this works.#'i can't tell your uncle now isn't a good time‚ so i have to take his call in the middle of whatever we're doing!'#he doesn't respect himself and so he just absorbs everyone else's demands and passes them on to me‚ whom he also doesn't respect.)#anyway. have fully talked myself into a terrible mood now‚ time to stop tag spiraling.#journaling#mundanities#domesticities#…actually i lied‚ what REALLY gets my goat here is that my dad will almost CERTAINLY not acknowledge that anything abt this is an issue#because he just has basically no bandwidth ever and just wants to pretend everything is fine so he doesn't have to Do Feelings#and it becomes this really shitty really gendered thing where like. i get painted as the Crazy Woman Making an Unjustifiable Fuss#even though there are multiple aspects of this situation that it's in fact extremely reasonable for me to be unhappy with!#and it's just like. no fucking wonder i can't deal with anything‚ i can't even evaluate a situation without having my reaction invalidated#ok now that really IS all. grateful for yr patience in a Trying Time if you even got this far‚ lol.
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Despite the late hour, Leif couldn’t sleep. And it wasn’t just the uncomfortable bed, although that exacerbated it. The real discomfort was mental: churning of the guts, restless unease under the surface, mind full with the sensation of racing thought without actual thoughts behind it. Leif wasn’t even sure what was wrong, only knowing that these feelings had sprouted up shortly after the three of them checked into the inn for the night.
That, and the specific nagging feeling of something associated with still-forgotten memories. Leif knew that, like a healing wound, it would go better if not picked at. But like the metaphorical wound, the thought prickled too much to ignore. It was right there, just within grasp, with a tiny bit more effort-
Leif sat up abruptly, and, having apparently been to one side of the bed, fell to the floor.
A mumbling from Kabbu’s side, then, ever-so-slightly panicked, “Vi? Leif?”
“We are fine.” But between having fallen to the side where he could see and punctuating the reply with tripping over the tangle of blanket, Leif couldn’t stop him from getting out of bed to help.
“Are you sure? Did something happen?” As he got Leif back up, his gaze swept the room.
“No. It was only…” Leif grabbed one arm at the sting of a little more memory sliding back in, although not enough to answer the questions it raised.
“What are you two doing?” Upon laying down, Vi had practically cocooned herself in a blanket, her antennae the only thing sticking out. That was still the case, although she’d adjusted so her face was barely visible in the shadows of the fabric. It was kind of adorable, and were it not for all the mind-occupying things already going on, Leif would have teased her about it. “Some of us are trying to sleep.”
Had it only been her, it would have been easy to dismiss the whole thing, tell her to just go back to sleep, but Kabbu was giving that kicked-aphid look of concern that made it so hard to be mean to him. “We had...a small realization. We don’t know what it means, but it probably isn’t important.” Leif would be up for the rest of the night thinking about it, but that wasn’t anyone else’s business.
“Well, I’ve found talking things out can often be very helpful.”
Vi groaned, flopping back onto her bed. “If I’m tired in the morning you have to carry me,” she murmured, but wiggled around so she was facing the two of them.
Again, it could have been so easy to use her comment as an excuse, a deflection. But now that the invitation was out there, Leif couldn't help but start attempting to explain. “It’s about when we checked in.”
Kabbu tilted his head. “What about it?”
“We- when we paid the innkeeper, she said ‘have a good night, sir.’” Leif paused. “And it...bothered us.”
“Was there something about the way she said it, or something she did as she spoke?” He started to get up off the side of the bed where he’d been sitting. “I thought she’d been noting but polite, but I was tired and-”
“No. She was fine. It was the ‘sir’ part.” Leif looked down, hands twisting the blanket. “It...took us off-guard, somehow. Which didn’t make sense, of course, so we ignored it. But then we couldn’t stop feeling uncomfortable with ourself, in ourself. We didn’t connect the two until we remembered.” The words came out fast, then. “It’s still vague, but this has happened to us before. Being addressed in such ways and getting disoriented, angry, sometimes. Vividly so. But then also other times it has not bothered us at all, even made us happy.”
“You woke us up for that?”
“Vi! We’re trying to be supportive here!”
She groaned. “Yeah, but that’s like saying the sun hurts your eyes if you have to look at it. It sucks, but it happens to everyone.”
Kabbu got half a syllable out before he stopped, turned to face her, and stared at her long enough that Leif looked up and exchanged a ‘what the heck’ glance with her. “I…” He looked between the two of them. “I’m not sure that’s accurate. I’ve never felt that way.”
“Yeah, but you’re...you.”
There was some, odd, reassurance to Vi’s assertion, although even with only fuzzy memory, Leif was certain Kabbu was the factually correct one. “That...isn’t everything, either. We also recalled occasionally being referred to in feminine terms, with a similar range from discomfort...to joy. And they weren’t exclusive. Sometimes we felt like both genders at once, or neither.”
“Okay, that part’s w-”
Kabbu gave her a look.
“...different.”
He didn’t say anything, patiently waiting to see if Leif had something else to say.
“We feel as if there might be something else, an explanation we used to have or...we don’t know. That’s all we can recall, now.”
“That’s alright. Thank you for telling us what you do.” Kabbu shifted so he was fully facing Leif. “I don’t have an explanation either, but we’ll help you figure it out. Is there anything we can do to help right now? Should we change how we refer to you?”
“Leif is always good.” If there was one certain thing, now and in memory, it was that name being safe, being comfortable no matter what. “For everything else, it won’t always be the same.”
“Hm. Would you prefer us to ask what to call you, or should we leave it to you to tell us?”
It was weird, in a dizzying sort of way, how easily accepting Kabbu was being. Not unwelcome. Not entirely unfamiliar, although that was the barest wisp of an impression. “We’ll tell you, but we don’t mind you checking every once in a while, as long as there aren’t any other bugs around.” It would still get noticed eventually, in particular with bugs they ran into frequently, but Leif wanted to limit the number of times this conversation might have to happen with a random bug.
“Alright!”
“Yeah, okay,” Vi mumbled, voice heavy with sleep. “I’ll call you whatever, it doesn’t matter.”
Another prickle of emotion, which Leif kept internal. “Thank you.” Voice rougher than expected, Leif kept the rest short. “That’s all for now. We’d just like to go to sleep.”
Kabbu nodded. He started to reach out, stopped, and stood up instead. “If you want to talk about this again, for any reason, let us know. Good night.”
“Night.”
It took a while to fall asleep, thoughts still eddying, but Leif got there eventually, a bit more comfortable, more secure than before.
#me: *slaps roof of Leif* this bad boy can fit so much fucking gender in her#I love this game and am continuing to have Thoughts and I'm making that everyone else's problem#yeah anyway I conjured this from my brain late last night and this morning hope someone at least finds it interesting#leif bug fables#bug fables#an aquila original#fanfiction#my writing#so far (I'm at the literal start of ch3) I'm getting the impression Leif's memory is still coming back in bits and pieces#so that's what I went for here.#also btw Vi's deal is a pinch of 'not like other girls'#a few dashes of her insecurities abt not being taken seriously because she's young/a bee leaking into certain contexts of gendered referrals#and a heaping handful of lesbian gender discontent
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bitter diabetic thought soup
#it's me again about to make the enzymes in my pancrea everyone else's problem too <3#anyway it sucks to have psych meds that are life-changing for me that specifically effect my appetite#bc then schedule becomes even more important which good news! improves on said meds and bad news! gets worse when sudden adjustments have#to be made!! anyway today was. not great. for me health wise. and on that note i always feel the need to be so defensive about having my#blood sugar in check like it's some moral failure of me not to when!!! sometimes it's not! sometimes it's high!! sometimes that's not good!#when i feel bad from blood sugar stuff that's not healthy!! but health is sometimes not 100% achieveable and i know i am feeling this on#such a smaller scale compared to other illnesses but it makes me want to scream of course i Want to be healthy and i Try My Best but#the fact is the natural state of my body is not one of health. there is a genetic issue here that makes a baseline state of health and#comfort in my body something that i have to put thought into every fucking day and even if that thought it minimal it's an extra step to#get somewhere some people are just born having pre-taken care of for them#idk man maybe it's just me maybe i just don't know any other diabetics who are my age/have the same type as me (because it's so fucking#understudied and underdiagnosed) and i don't even know if i'm going to say this in a way that makes sense but it feels like 'diabetes'#is not a condition that is in any way considered impactful in daily life and my suspicion is that because it's so fucking common if more#consideration were given to how it affects people more accomodation and understanding would be expected for it and we#simply can't have that now can we (i think. if i am not entirely in left field on this. this is true of a lot of common chronic conditions#but i obviously can't speak to any others#i just feel like we downplay literally so many chronic health issues that the negative impacts on daily life get kinda neutralized#because whenever i actually walk through the fact that i have to think so hard about food all the time i realize oh. well. how exhausting#it is and how much more prone to disordered eating i have been since diagnosis because of it#anyway just currently in a state of being really fucking done with talking about my diabetes and having my reflex response anytime i say#anything about it to be 'oh it's not that bad!! i have my sugar under control!' like i am a bad person if it's not under control for#something i was quite literally born with and tends to be unpredictable and my doctor literally knows so little about in actuality because#again. highly understudied. : ))))))))#idk what this was i'm just feeling grrrr about being diabetic for specific reasons right now#personal
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girl help how do i prioritize (not actually asking for advice just ranting). i have a performance tomorrow that's technically part of my final but also the Events of the last week on campus it's technically optional. but that being said i really want to be memorized for that performance and put the time in to make it really good bc even if it isn't graded it's still an opportunity for me to test out new aubrey material (and i'm definitely gonna film it and send it to bellini). i have to turn in a "final" for my independent study which is just my way to get credit for the buddy cole doc, but that final is editing a ten minute piece out of my tour footage and because of the Events i think i will get more grace if it's not a great edit but i need to turn something in by wednesday. i have a final for my history class that's just a presentation and i've already made the powerpoint and researched so i'm confident i can improvise (it's fairly low stakes) BUT i still have to do a quiz for my history class that was due last week but i somehow missed and i haven't been able to get to it bc stressed about finals and also the Events but since it was assigned before the Events i don't think i'll get the same grace as post-Events assignments, and this quiz is worth like 10% of my grade so i need to turn something in like even tho i currently have an A in that class and Cs get degrees i still don't know what grade i'll get on my final so better safe than get a zero on the quiz but i have no motivation since it's not a final like the rest of my stuff (even if the aubrey thing is lowkey not graded??? even before the Events that class had a unique grading system so i already know i've got an A in that class regardless this is just like an optional showcase). and i also have a zoom with bruce tomorrow for the buddy cole doc which i'm very excited for but also will have to plan around the amount of hours in the day i have left to get things done lmao
anyway it's wild being in finals week bc half of me is like "i just wanna go hoooome alreadyyyy" but the other half is like "holy fuck there is too much to do i need an extra week to get it all done"
but anyway less than a week from today i'm gonna be done with my penultimate semester of college (graduating in december!!!) and i have literally zero plans for the months of may and june rn so like. i know i'm going to get incredibly bored super quickly but like one of my favorite inspirational quotes is that tumblr post that was like "in two weeks you will have different problems" and yeah that sure is true
#i remember some people on that post being like ''that's not comforting the problems are endless''#but i saw that quote for the first time when i was like 12 days away from my production of other girls and SUPER stressed#so i was like. yeah that's actually a great thought i'm still gonna have to do things in 2 weeks but it won't be what i'm working on rn#anyway i am also obviously grateful for most of the things making me busy of course#bc like. my finals are literally performing my favorite new aubrey monologue i've written in the past few months#and i have to rewatch a bunch of scott tour footage for the independent study video#and like i remember just a year ago getting to zoom with bruce was such an event it would be the most important part of my day#and all i could talk about for weeks leading up to it#and obviously i'm still super excited to get to talk to bruce the only negative thing is how busy i am with everything else#and having to do time-management factoring in my classes alongside the zoom#also when i refer to the Events that has to do with like the protests happening on campus etc.#like my college has been in the news lately for some shit#and like. yes it's a very important issue and it's really altered the climate on campus and added to everyone's anxieties#however i do NOT want to talk about it. like i support the cause but for the sake of my own mental health i will only talk about it as much#as referring to it vaguely like i did in the post.#anyway i should sleep i have a 10am class tomorrow that i might have to present my final in
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Just The Beginning
Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader
Words: 2.2K
Requested: Yes / No
Request: Hey! First of all i love your writing like every time you post I go WILD anyways.. I’ve been thinking a lot about kind of a prequel to the mini lando series in which Lando and reader have been trying for a baby but haven’t been successful and as they loose hope, reader gets sick so lando goes to the pharmacy to get reader some medicine and when reader wakes up he calls him like “maybe bring a pregnancy test too” and lando is like “omgomgomg it can’t be” and he gets like super excited and anxious and everyone at the pharmacy is like “first time?” Anyways, turns out reader is finally pregnant with Aiden?!! 😭😭😭
Rating: R because of difficult topics
Warnings: Difficultly getting pregnant, losing hope, feeling of failure and not good enough, relationship difficulties, ANGST, fluff, I'm sure there are more warnings, please read this carefully if you have trouble reading this topic
Synopsis: Lando and you have wanted to be parents for the longest time, but maybe it just wasn't meant to be
Mini Lando / New Addition / Mini Lando Masterlist
"Lando, don't get your hopes up." Hands placed over your mouth as you watch the timer on your phone. Lando nods, but you can't miss the excited smile he tries so hard to hide.
"I won't. I promise." You refuse to look at the white and blue test on the counter before you two. Three years married, Carlos and Charles having children, and the two of you getting baby fever a year ago have two of you trying to have your own children. "Lando, stop." You snap, placing your hand on your husband's bouncing leg.
"Sorry." He stops, rubbing sweaty hands on his jeans. He knew you didn't mean to snap, but the tension was intense after multiple negative tests and tears. The shrieking beeps of the timer have you jumping, head dropping as you can't look at the test. "Want me to look?" Lando's voice held no excitement.
"Please." Standing, he grabs the test. How was he to tell you it was negative again? It was already a thought in your mind that you might have problems. "It's negative, isn't it?" Lando turns, your red eyes boring into his sad ones. "That's okay, though. We can try again." He places the test down, reaching for you.
You stand, leaving the bathroom, heading to your office, and slamming the door. Lando flinches, hearing the soft echoes of your cries. He wanted nothing more than to hold you, yet for the past three months, you shoved him away every time that negative popped up. Sliding down the counter, he buries his head in his arms, his own tears slipping down his face.
Wiping his face, he sniffles and stands, heading to your office. "Y/n, please open the door." He begs, just wanting to hold his wife. "Go away!" You scream something thumping on the door. "Okay." Lando whimpers out. "I'm going to.....I'm going for a driver. I'll be back." You let out a chest-rattling gasp hearing the soft thuds of him walking away.
You don't know when you stopped crying. The feeling of being hollow was all you could make out. Lando was still not back; you wouldn't blame him if he never returned. He wanted to be a father so badly, and while you could give him everything, you couldn't give him this. Lando wanted to talk to you, but you couldn't voice those dark thoughts you kept having.
How could you tell the love of your life you felt like a failure? The man who loved you more than driving that he should leave you and find someone else who could give him children. The terror that gripped you at the possibility of Lando doing that left you sick. The empty promises you two whispered to one another, the baby names, the pictures of the future that were slowly slipping away.
The mechanical whirl of the garage door opening gets you moving. Heading back to the bathroom, you throw the test away just for it to join the rest of those false hopes and dreams. The garage door opens and closes with keys jingling as you clean your face. You plaster a look of calm. You mastered the look and act of you're fine.
"Baby?" Lando's voice carries through the house, drawing you out of the bedroom. "I'm here." A loud sigh as he rounds the corner. Those doubts rile up hearing that sigh. Was he sighing because you're still here? Because he came home? Regretting marrying you? "Hi." His soft smile greets you.
"Sorry about earlier. I need to start dinner." Lando watches as you sidestep him, heading straight for the kitchen. "Forget dinner. Let's go out, get some fresh air." Closing your eyes, you try hard to clamp down on the anxiety that creeps into your bones. "No, I want to stay home. I'm tired." Lando nods, swallowing hard as he walks away. He always walked away, never wanting to fight with you anymore.
He was giving up. Lando would leave you soon, and you don't blame him. You failed.
Dinner and the house were silent for the rest of the day.
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"She refuses to talk to me." Carlos hums, sipping his beer as the two watch Y/n play with little Santiago. "Have you tried therapy?" Lando bristles, as mentioned. "If she would talk to me, Carlos, I would mention it." He hisses, tearing the label off his beer.
"Don't get snappy with me. You two are made for one another, and this is just a....rough patch." Carlos smiles, waving at his little boy, who Y/n bounces, talking to Carlos's wife. "This isn't a rough patch Carlos. She wants children, and I....I can't even give her them." Carlos's smile fades, turning to look at his dearest friend.
"Have you two ever been to a fertility clinic? Tested? Anything?" Carlos knew what Lando was like. If anything went wrong, he put all the blame on him. It doesn't matter if it's an outside force. It was automatically his fault. "No, I'm terrified to mention it. What if she feels like, I'm placing all the blame on her?" Lando pulls his eyes away from you, and you look so damn happy.
For the first time in 4 months since that day in the bathroom, you looked like a shell of yourself. Holding Santi, you look alive. "Lando, you two clearly haven't been talking. Talk to your wife, and I know it's terrifying. But, what if you never talk, and this breaks the both of you?" Lando shakes his head no. "No, no, that's not possible." Carlos sighs, patting him on his shoulder.
"Did you have a good talk with Carlos?" Lando jumps, hearing your voice as he drives the two of you home. "What? Oh, yeah, it was fine." Lando shrugs, and you sigh. Carlos's wife had told you to start small and that it was best to start a conversation with your husband. "What'd you talk about?" Lando cringes at the question, not wanting to talk about it.
"Nothing, just the upcoming season and all that." You nod your head, anger bubbling in your chest at him, avoiding the conversation. "Nothing? Did you talk about nothing for the entire day?" Your husband's eyes slide over to you, the anger evident in your voice. "No, we didn't talk about nothing the entire day. But you wouldn't know that as you refuse to talk to me." Lando snaps, and you blink, shocked at his raised tone.
"Refuse to talk to you? I'm always talking to you, Lando! You're the one who refuses to even look at me!" Lando adjusts himself in his seat, trying to calm himself down. "Really? Really? Y/n, the last time we had a real fucking conversation was the morning you took that test. After that day, you refuse to let me touch you. I can't even approach the topic without you shutting down. My wife is gone and refuses to let me help, much less know the problem." Lando slams the car into park as you stare at him, shocked at this anger.
"I'm furious with you, dammit!" Lando throws the door open, storming to the front door as you follow, watching him reach a specific door. "Don't you dare go in there!" You scream, trying to stop him, but he throws you off. "Don't!" He throws it open as you stare at the empty room, with only one object in the middle.
"You can't even walk in here. This is our baby's room, and you keep that door closed. Why? What is it that you can't talk to me anymore? I'm your husband, and we've......do you not love me anymore? We haven't had sex in months; tell me that you blame me. I know you think it's my fault. Say it!" He screams at you pounding his chest as you stare at one another, crying.
"Blame you? Blame you!" You laugh, stepping foot into the nursery Lando built and decorated himself for the first time. "You want to be a father so damn bad! Do you know what it's like to hold Santi or Anthoine when we're with our friends? To see that look in your eyes and then the one of disappointment when you look at me?" As you step deeper into the room, you wipe the tears from your eyes. "Every damn test, that look grows with more hatred, and I know you hate me. I'm the wife that is failing at giving you children, Lando. I'm the reason why!" You laugh.
"I don't blame you, Lando." Spitting out the words, you stand inches from one another. "I'm scared I'll wake up one day, and you're gone. You left me because I'm a failure as a wife for not giving you children. I'm terrified that....that." Lando stops you, hugging you tightly as you collapse in his arms. "I don't think you're a failure. You are the strongest person I know, Y/n." Hearing those words, you gasp out loud as you cry loudly.
"I love you, and we will have children. One day. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but we will have children one day."
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One Year Later
Therapy was going well for the two of you, and you could finally talk about everything. Lando how he felt he was to blame and not good enough. You, how you felt like a failure and that Lando would leave you. Everyone could see the change in your relationship, how you both looked lighter and happier. Your therapist suggested taking a break from trying to have children, and you did.
The two of you talked of the pressure it put on both of you, that it was a weight on your chest. Lando agreed that waiting would be best, and if the two try again, talk to a specialist first. Traveling around the world and just enjoying yourselves as well was communicating was important now. The nursery door was kept shut, but you added small things here and there.
Except right now, you've been bedridden with the flu. Everything smelled horrible, and the food tasted gross. You've been throwing up and just wanting Lando next to you the only time you've felt a semblance of being your healthy self. "I'm going to the pharmacy. Be back." Lando whispers as you wave him off. You can't do another day like this.
Laying in bed, you can only think everything over for the past month. Month. Maybe it was your period, you've never really had to go through this often, but it did happen. Except.....
Eye flying open, you scramble to grab your phone calling Lando. "What, is something wrong?" Lando's panicked voice fills your ear after the 2nd ring. "No, um...you remember last month when we got a little careless?" Lando chuckles, the memories very clear as he thinks about you and where he- "Wait? Do you think?" Lando's eyes widen as he tries so hard not to get excited.
"I...I don't know. Pick one up. Please." Lando agrees as a soft ding of the pharmacy lets the workers know someone has walked in. "Hi, can I get some anti-nausea meds and a pregnancy test?" He can't help the giant smile that fills his face. The lovely older lady behind the counter smiles at him. "First time, sweetie?" He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Kinda? I mean....this is." She raises her hand, stopping his stutters. "I understand; I hope it all goes well." Lando slaps the money on the counter and rushes off with a wave. Running home, no need to announce he's back as you're there grabbing the test.
And here you are again, sitting on the same tub ledge. Watching the seconds tick by, the same hope and feelings of doubt cover you both. Neither of you says anything, both jumping out of your skin at the shrieking timer.
Reaching for the test, Lando snaps your hand down. Holding it. "Wait, just wait." He breathes, staring at you. "Whatever it says, it doesn't matter. It's not my fault nor yours. We're not failures, and we will have children one day. It doesn't matter how or when, but we will love them no matter what. And I'll love you until I die. Okay?" You nod, swallowing as you stand, grabbing the test.
Your hands start to shake as tears begin to fall; Lando sighs. "Hey, it's okay. We should make that appointment, huh?" He laughs, trying to lighten the mood as you shake your head no. "It's positive." You whisper, his head snapping up, not believing your words. "What?" Standing up, you laugh, showing him the test. "It's positive." You repeat as he covers your shaking hand, trying to read the test.
"It's positive? It's positive!" He laughs, scooping you up as he spins you around. The two of you laugh and cry. "We're going to be parents," Lando whispers, holding you close. "We're going to be parents." You repeat, neither of you believing this; Lando giggling. "Aiden." You pull back, confused why he'd say that name. "Aiden, if it's a boy, Odette if it's a girl." You smile, kissing your husband gently.
"It's perfect." He nods, hand lying on your stomach. "I will love you for the rest of my life. You have no idea how loved you already are."
#f1#formula 1#f1 fandom#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 x y/n#formula one#f1 series#f1 angst#f1 fluff#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris fanfic#lando norris angst#lando norris fluff#lando angst#lando norris#lando x reader#lando fluff#dad!f1#mini lando series
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OKAY SO what with the TWO new Hermits implied by the updated banner I will say that, though the Skizz truthers have me convinced, I now have room to do my own crazy red string monologue and throw my hat in for my choice
1) Mythical J. Sausage (the J is silent) is a multitalented S-tier builder that absolutely deserves to be shoulder to shoulder with the Hermits. The man does buildings, interiors, terraforming, custom trees, and he does them SO WELL.
2) The production values!!! Beautiful replay mod sequences with shifting camera perspectives, shaders, music that sets the tone for each segment that's different from series to series. He already has more than a million followers on YouTube and for good reason!!
3) He has been SO consistent lately. He started a hardcore world about three months ago (about the time you might expect the Hermits to finalize their s10 choices maybe...???) and already has 15 episodes and hasn't gotten involved in any other big content. (He did just start playing a little of the BCG server but from what I understand that's super casual /copium copium copium).
4) That hardcore world is conveniently about to reach a good "pause" point. He started his world on a cherry blossom biome island that he's filled with a medieval village and starter farms, he's said it's almost full and what's left is the castle. I'm guessing the new season will start the first week of February, so if Sausage puts out a video this week building out that Castle and finishing that island it will be MIGHTY CONVENIENT TIMING.
5) This man can GRIND. His Hardcore world hasn't even been going half a year and he's built... So much??? Magnificent! And when he was on the Hermitcraft server he did the Razorcrest for scar AND the player head baby yoda/stormtrooper merch AND the noteblock themesong AND still built in the xmas village and other "diamond of peace" and so many other shenanigans. Did the man even sleep? He can grind with the best of them.
6) He can do redstone, too! Maybe not unique designs, I honestly don't know, but he builds farms for build materials no problem.
7) The DRAMA this man loves his improv and his backstory and trauma lore! For every series he does! Can you imagine if he gets to interact with Ren for an extended period of time, what that would do to them, to us?? Give Martyn a run for his money!!
8) Which brings me to my next point, which is that Sausage is already One of The Gang, because he's been in series with so many of the Hermits already! Empires and the crossover, obviously, but also Pirates with Cleo and Origins with Scar, and he's even done MCC! Joel is the only other player with the same depth of different series but there are other people truthing him already.
9) The EPIC BROMANCE with Pearl. My god the devotion of this man to his sunflower goddess bestie. I would try to do ot justice but y'all have seen floweroflaurelins work, you already know.
10) He's already a PG streamer but with HILARIOUSLY PG-13 tendencies. Imagine him and Cleo cracking each other up at an HHH stream, *grips your shoulders* IMAGINE IT.
11) Sausage comes with his own mascot in the form of interdimensional dog extraordinaire Bubbles, but he's also just an animal lover on general. Mans drinks his "I love Jellie" juice and had her in his world even before the sad news of her loss.
12) Diversity win! No one should be hired just for their gender, race, sexuality etc etc unless it's truly necessary to the job, but we were all happy when more women got added to the server in s8 and I know a lot of people would be happy to see some ethnic diversity added, too.
... That bulletin board had a lot more pins in it than I thought it did but anyway MYTHICALSAUSAGE TRUTHERS/ALL OTHER TRUTHERS RISE UP SPEAK YOUR TRUTH! we'll only get to wildly speculate for a few weeks so we might as well make it everyone else's problem ENJOY IT TO THE FULLEST!!
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Stu Macher x Fem!Reader where they are dating but the readers parents hate him so one night are 2:33 am Stu knocks on the readers window and she opens it it tells him to leave but before she can get a word out Stu is kissing her and telling her how much he misses her and one thing lead to, and so Stu had to push the readers head into her pillow so she didn’t wake anyone.
Sorry if the store request does not make any sense i’ve been wanting to request something from you for a while and this idea kinda came to my brain as I was falling asleep at four in the morning so I am very sleep deprived lol anyways I love your story. I hope you have a great day
Surprise Baby
Genre: Fluff & Smut
Warnings: +18 content, clingy and soft Stu, dirty talk, degrading, cursing, dom!Stu, p in v (w/o protection), sad Stu at the end (reader comforts him)
Word Count: 1,8k
A/N: This was actually a very interesting request and Ik very well that our daydreams before we sleep are the best 🤭 I added something to the plot at the end, so I hope you still like it! Tysm, I'm so glad you like my writing! It always feels so gratifying whenever you guys tell me that <33
Right now you're lying on your bed crying, while hugging your favorite bunny plush that Stu gave you for Valentine's Day. You'd just had an argument with your parents, since they weren't the biggest fans and supporters of your relationship with your boyfriend Stu Macher. You didn't understand why they didn't like him and didn't even make an effort to, even though Stu always made you happy and made your life more colorful and enjoyable from the moment you met him. Of course Stu had his flaws like everyone else, since perfection is impossible to achieve and that was fine by you. But not for your parents. They said that Stu distracted you from school, that he "lived" for parties and didn't give you your "precious" time to concentrate on your studies, because he always took you on dates so that he could spend more time with you, even when you said you were busy.
You perfectly knew that Stu wasn't a guy who would take "no" for an answer. Maybe it was because he'd always been spoiled by his parents and didn't understand the meaning of that word? Maybe he hated the fact that you would say "no" to him, because if you truly love him as you always say, why would you reject an opportunity to go out with him? Both answers to those questions are probably correct, because you knew that Stu didn't know how to respect your personal space either, not that you minded anyway. But your parents did and that was the problem. They even told you once that Stu was obsessed with you and that your personal life has also become his, as if it were his property. Maybe they were right about that, but that's how Stu showed how much he loved and cared for you and it always worked well in your relationship. And you really missed him.
Sleep didn't want to make its presence known, so you decided to watch your favorite show on your new tv. However, you still couldn't stop thinking about the argument with your parents. Of course you defended your boyfriend and were always on his side to protect him against anyone, even your own parents, but it did made you very upset... all you wanted was for your family to see how genuinely happy Stu makes you feel, how he always admired you and treated you as if you were the only woman to walk on earth and how he's so funny that it's practically impossible not to laugh because of some silly joke he's made until your cheeks hurt. You just wished your family accepted him and loved him as much as you did...
Your thoughts were suddenly interrupted when you heard your window being knocked on repeatedly. You screamed for a second, because you weren't expecting that to happen in the middle of the cold night. Nevertheless, you immediately felt relieved when you saw Stu standing there with his puppy eyes and big smile on his handsome face you loved so much. A wide smile appeared on your face the moment you realized your boyfriend wanted to surprise you and that he had actually made an effort to see you.
His giant body barely fit through your window and the way he clumsily tried to get into your room, like a cartoon thief, made you laugh until your belly started to get sore.
"Baby, what are you doing?? It's cold outside!" you asked worriedly, before you watched him fall face down on the floor as he let out an "ouch". You couldn't stop laughing at his poor attempt to sneak into your room, as he already knew that your parents would never let him in, especially so late at night. You looked over your bedside table, where your alarm clock was, to see what time it was, as it marked 2:33 am.
"Surprisee baby!" he shouted excitedly, with a contagious smile that didn't leave his face for a moment. His breathing was accelerated, which made you realize he had some trouble climbing up to your window. You felt your heart warming at his romantic gesture, yet you didn't want your parents to find out and kick him out of your house or worse.
"Be quiet babe, you're not supposed to be here! You need to leave Stu, my parents are gonna ki-" you were really worried about your boyfriend's safety, but Stu didn't give you a chance to finish your sentence, as he grabbed you firmly around your waist and began kissing you passionately with his long, skilled tongue. His hands were all over your body and his grip was tight, not allowing you to move away from him.
"Shh- don't worry about them. It's just us now. I've missed you so much, baby." he admitted, before kissing your neck eagerly. When he he'd had enough, he pulled you up by your hips and laid you down on your bed, his mouth never leaving yours. You couldn't help moaning as you felt his sweet, loving assaults on your body, his lips and big hands making you melt into his addictive touch.
"Love, we have to be quiet... and you're making it hard for me." by now you were feeling breathless, unable to contain your desire for your horny and needy boyfriend. Instinctively, you rubbed against Stu's crotch which made him groan in pleasure, as you could feel him already hard under his jeans. He began to gently pinch your nipples through the fabric of your short pajama top, enjoying and closely analyzing your reactions to his teasing touch.
"Looks like I have to shut you up so we don't get caught, baby..." the last thing you saw was a mischievous grin on your boyfriend's face, before he firmly turned you around so that you were on all fours for him. He pressed his erection against your ass, while his eyes rolled back as he put his head back from the stimulation and his mouth was slightly open. You were starting to enjoy this game way too much, to see who couldn't hold back their moans, and you made sure you would win this battle. You pushed your ass against him and started rolling your hips in a provocative way, knowing that Stu wouldn't be able to hold it much longer. He bit his lips at this and frowned, realizing what you were trying to do to him.
"My girl really wants to get some, huh? You wanna play dirty, doll? Do you really think you can win this game against me?" he laughed trying to mock you, making you feel pathetic if you really thought you could stay quiet with the way he was about to fuck you.
"Just fuck me already Stu, I can't hold it much longer..." you quickly gave up and decided to beg him for mercy, so you could feel him inside you for once. You were dripping by now and the thought of having to keep quiet so no one would catch you at such a vulnerable and intimate moment turned you on even more for some reason.
You finally felt him give you want you wanted, since Stu himself wasn't a very self-controlled guy when it came to you. You felt his tongue lick a long, firm strip from your throbbing clit to your pulsing, empty hole. This made you grip your pillow as hard as you could while he ate you out from behind. Unfortunately, it didn't last much longer like you'd hoped, as you didn't realize how horny and impatient Stu was feeling that night. Suddenly, you felt his fully erect cock enter you without any resistance, sliding easily into you because you were so wet with your cum and his saliva. He didn't give you any time to adjust to him as he usually did and started pounding you hard and fast. He knew you all too well, so he pushed your face against your pillow to prevent any sound coming out of your pretty mouth and kept his strong hand on your head. You prayed that no one would hear you both fucking like horny teenagers who can't control their sexual hormones. It wasn't your fault that you and Stu were so fucking attracted to each other and that your shared love was considered obsessive, right?
"You like that, don't you babygirl? You love it when I fuck you like this... You needy slut, can't get enough of your boyfriend's cock inside your tight hole. I bet your parents would be so embarrassed if they saw you getting fucked this good." he whispered in your ear before changing his angle to fuck you deeper. Wet sounds, your muffled moans and his heavy breathing were the only sounds being heard in your room, turning you both on even more. It didn't last much longer when you both came at the same time, since Stu was way too horny to hold his orgasm. He was so glad he'd made you cum before he climaxed inside you.
After the moment of ecstasy you both experienced, you lay there trying to catch your breath while staring at the ceiling. It was then that Stu pulled you closer to him and hid his face on your neck, clinging to you more than usual. He was acting way too needy and clingy, and wasn't trying to be the "dominant" one, which made you worry about him.
"Are you ok, love? Do you wanna talk about it?" you asked him softly as you caressed his hair and cheeks. You knew him too well to recognize whenever he wasn't feeling good, even when he was trying to hide it.
"My girl knows me so well." he chuckled weakly, trying to find the right words to tell you what was had been bothering him. After a moment of silence in which you tried to comfort him with your tender touches, he finally spoke. "My parents won't be able to make it for my birthday. Again." your heart ached for him, because you knew this problem had happened before. Although Stu's parents loved him and treated him right, they had never been very present throughout his life and that took a tool on his emotional behavior. That explained why he was so addicted to your attention and wanted you all to himself, all the time. It made you really sad that you couldn't help your boyfriend properly, because the presence of anyone's parents is irreplaceable.
"I'm so sorry to hear that, baby. I'm sure they're extremely busy with work and that's the only reason for their absence on such a special day. We both know that they love you and I'll be there for you to make sure you have the biggest party ever." you gently grabbed his face and smiled warmly at him, admiring his ocean eyes that reminded you of the maldivian water, as he stared back at you with pure love.
"I know you will. What would I do without you? You're the love of my life, you know that right?" you chuckled as you softly kissed his cute nose.
"I love you too, Stu... so much. You have no idea of how much love I have for you and no one ever will."
#stu macher smut#stu macher fanfiction#stu macher imagine#stu macher fanfic#stu macher scream#stu macher x reader#stu macher#matthew lillard smut#matthew lillard imagine#scream 1 smut#scream 1996 smut#stu macher fic#stu macher x you#stu macher x female reader#stu macher x y/n#stu matcher x you#stu matcher x reader#stu matcher imagine#matthew lillard x reader#fic request#reader x character
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you sigh at the scene outside of the classroom. the four of you was left inside the four cornered room when the electricity suddenly went out of use because of the heavy rain accompanied by lightnings.
"when will yaga-sensei get back?" shoko asks and geto answers. "who knows. he might already be on his room, sleeping." he slightly jokes.
"ugh. so boring. i don't have my cigarettes right now." shoko states and you glare at her.
"when will you stop smoking? it's bad for you health and you're even going to be a doctor.." your face forms a sour expression when shoko just laughs it out.
"don't worry. i'm not gonna smoke around you." she reassures which suguru questions her.
"so, you're gonna smoke around me and satoru?"
"huh.. why, yes. of course." the brown-haired girl chuckles. "you're okay with it, anyways." she shrugs like it was nothing for her.
"not okay with it.." satoru groans as he wakes up.
come to think of it. the annoying blue-eyed freak has been really quite ever since yaga-sensei left. no wonder it's been quite and peaceful when he's out of commission.
"but geto and you don't complain and [name] complains." she points at them.
satoru huffs in defeat, not wanting to talk any longer since he's still sleepy. "anyways, where's yaga?"
"call him yaga-sensei and he's out to see what happened to the electricity." you answer and look at him on his drowsy state.
he's quite.. cute. you admit. spiky yet looking soft hair sticking everywhere and his sleepy eyes made him hundred times even cuter.
just this once, you will admit that he's cute. just this once.
"oh.. it's raining." he says like he just noticed it. "i don't have my umbrella with me.." he murmurs.
"i have mine. you wanna share with me, satoru?" suguru teases his best friend.
"no way! it's better to be alone under the rain than with you in an umbrella." he scrunches his nose to express his clearly disgusted face.
"oh, c'mon! it's not like shoko and [name] have any heart to share their umbrellas with you." geto laughs and looks at the two girls.
"excuse me, geto. i have a heart but gojo doesn't have a room enough to fit on my heart and on my umbrella." you scoffs.
"as if i want to share an umbrella with you, pipsqueak." satoru rolls his eye with you and you did the same.
"like i also want to–"
"okay, okay. let's calm down." suguru rushes to save everyone's day. you and gojo are always fighting, making it everyone else's problem. such a handful duo.
"let's just go home, yeah? i bet the two girls have been wanting to sleep and relax on their dorm rooms." suguru turns to you and smiles. his gentle gestures and thoughts forms a genuine smile on your face.
"yeah. i wanna smoke so bad." shoko adds. geto and you laughs at her. "okay, okay."
"oh wow.. you smile at him but roll your eyes at me?" gojo's amused at the scene with you and geto.
"you don't deserve it." you roll your eyes to him again.
geto chuckles as he turns his body to the white-haired boy that's slumping on his chair, making a smug face.
"hah?" he stands up to make himself do an eye-to-eye contact with the dark-haired male.
"why? i'm simply smiling, satoru." he smiles to tease him more. he knows the subtle gazes of his best friend is sending you. and he knows what kind of gaze was that.
he likes her but still don't know what's that emotion is. but your relationship is like a cat and a dog. a bit kind of rocky because of the boy's often insults. and you're easy to tease, according to gojo.
"your cocky smile makes me think more." gojo raises an eyebrow at his best friend.
his best friend did nor explain nothing but chuckle. "i don't know. you tell me, satoru."
"you want to take this outside, suguru?"
"under the rain? aren't you romantic–"
"i'm gonna beat the shit out of–"
"okay. pass." shoko tells the two males and makes her way by walking in between of them coincidentally.
you muffle a chuckle under your breath because shoko looks so small when she passed between them.
you grab your bag, following shoko outside.
"sorry [name]. i have to go. yaga-sensei texted me to examine a corpse." shoko apologizes as she shows you the text. she opens her umbrella, still muttering some curses under her breathe.
"okay. bye." you wave your hand at her.
you stare ahead. it is still raining so hard. you wonder if your umbrella can take it or even survive this rain.
"why are you still here?" suguru asks as he stands on your side. satoru follows him but he decided to stand on your other side.
two tall males standing on each of your side. great. i look like a little chick in between two wolves.
"the rain's still..." you look at the rain. geto looks out, too. "ah, yeah. where's shoko? she left you here?"
"yaga-sensei asked for her and i wouldn't dare to follow her on the morgue." you tell him.
"i'm so lucky i have my infinity to protect me from this little rain." satoru scoffs and proudly presenting that his so-called infinity is so helpful at times like this which is true. must be nice.
"no need to be boastful, satoru." suguru snickers at him and then turns to look at you. "you have your umbrella with you, right?"
you nod. "yes.."
"you need any of my curse spirits?" suguru offers. you shake your head as an answer before he heads out.
unbeknown to you, he gave satoru a knowingly look to him and to you. giving satoru an immense blush.
"the mud's a bit dangerous here. so look out!" he waves his hand and you did the same gesture.
you turn to the flustered male beside you. "aren't you going? you have your infinity to protect you in the rain, after all." you state.
he clears his throat, collecting himself for a second. "what? am i not allowed to stay in here for a few minutes?" he scoffs. "besides, i sometimes get headaches when i use it.." he whispers to himself.
"you don't have any umbrella, do you?"
"why would i need it when i am satoru gojo, the holder of infinity and limitless." he boasts himself again.
you open you bag and hands him your umbrella. the blue umbrella you have right now.
he accepts it with uncertainty and he directs his attention to the blue umbrella you handed.
"what's this?" he looks at you.
"an.. umbrella?"
"i'm not stupid." he hisses. "what's this for? for me?" he scoffs. "as i said, i have my–"
you cuts him off. "yeah. your infinity. but you said it makes your head hurt, right? it's better to use it than your technique."
you feel a bit of sympathy to him. great powers always come with great pain.
he's still staring at you.
you? worried for him. worried. she's worried about me! he happily thoughts of how you're worried about him.
his heart is beating so fast that his ears are getting warm but he composes himself to answer you, in order to for you to not notice.
"but blue? you must like me that much." he grins at you, hiding the suppressed smile he's making.
"keep on dreaming, gojo."
"what about you? how are you going to go to your dorm room?"
"i'll just wait for the rain to stop.." which is not going to be as of the moment by just looking at it.
"you make me feel bad." he opens the umbrella and pulls you to his warm body.
"gojo–"
"shut up or else i'll dump you in the mud." he threatens and much to your annoyance, you hit his arm and luckily, your first landed on his dark blue uniform.
he turns off his infinity so that he can at least let the frabic of his uniform touch yours. he silently craves for your touch.
"so ungentlemanly." you comment, brushing away the thought that you can touch him.
"you wound me, sweetheart. i'm just being me."
you roll your eyes for the nth time today because of him. "so annoying."
"pipsqueak."
"freak!"
he just laughs at you and adjusted the umbrella to cover you more than him as you walk together. he can't have you getting sick, after all.
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Jason Todd x Reader
"You're going, Jason, and you don't even want to. I don't see the problem with me tagging along."
"It's a problem when you look like that."
You smiled, proud at your efforts of making yourself look presentable for another one of Bruce's grand galas. It would be your first time attending one of his events, thinking it would be a good time to officially introduce yourself as Jason's lover.
You pulled a strand of your hair away from your face and admired yourself in the mirror. Usually, you don't spend so much time dressing up, but you decided that you wanted to make a good first impression when meeting Jason's family.
You assumed Jason knew you were coming with after he told you that he'd be going to the gala, and you thought it was an unsaid invitation, like usual. Every time Jason said he'd be going somewhere or to some sort of event, he'd expect you to come with.
So it surprised you when he asked why you were all dressed up, even when he was all fancied up too.
"You look nice... But why?"
"What do you mean, Jay? I'm going to Bruce's gala with you, no?" You asked, confused as to why he was asking.
His eyes widened. "What? No, no. I know you usually come, but not tonight. Maybe another night, sweetheart," he says.
Your head tilts to the side. "Why not tonight? It's a good time to meet the rest of your family, Jay! Well, I mean, I already know Dick, but I wanna meet everyone else!" You say excitingly.
Jason sighs and sits down on the bed. "I promise you, darling, you can meet them another time, just not tonight. A lot of people are gonna be there, so I doubt you'd get the chance to talk to them anyway."
"You sound like you'd be embarrassed if I showed up," you scoffed.
"I wouldn't! I just don't want you to come!" He argues back. You paused for a moment. He didn't want you to go with him? Was he actually embarrassed to be seen with you? Your insecurities start to bubble inside you. Sure, you weren't rich or owned a lot of fancy clothes. Hell, it was Jason who bought you the outfit you were wearing! And yeah, there would be a lot of prettier, more good-looking, fit people out there... that Jason could find mire attractive...
"You're going, Jason, and you don't even want to. I don't see the problem with me tagging along."
"It's a problem when you look like that."
Sorry, what? What did he just say? Why did he say that? How could he have said that so casually? Why is he looking at you like he didn't say anything wrong? Why does it look like he's.. proud of what he said?
You look back at the full-length mirror. Insecure thought starts to fill your head.
So he is embarrassed to be seen with me? I guess the outfit is a little too tight. I think I did go overboard with the foundation. I wouldn't wanna be seen with me either.
"Oh," was all you replied with as you slowly made your way into the bathroom that was in his room.
Jason's gaze followed you. Panic began to run his system. Wait, what did he just say again? "It's a problem when you look like that." What was wrong with that? He thought you would've been happy to hear that from him.
Oh shit.
Realisation punched Jason harder in the face than any blow that he got from Bruce, Dick or any other villain he was fighting.
Jason quickly stood up from the bed and strode to the bathroom door that you quickly shut close.
"Y/n! Wa-wait, love, I didn't mean that! I meant like-"
"It's fine, Jay, just go ahead, I'll stay here," he heard your little voice crack, and his heart broke into a million pieces.
He tried turning the knob to open the door, but to no avail as you've already locked it.
Jason leaned his head against the door, trying to get you to open it. "Darling, c'mon, please open the door. Please, let me talk to you, I- I didn't mean what I said," he begged.
When you opened the door, you were already out of your outfit, wearing your pyjama pants and one of Jason's shirts.
Your eyes were red, but you were smiling. "I said, it's fine, Jason. Just go, please. I'll meet your family another night."
Jason's eyes widened, and his head started shaking. "No. No, no, no. It's Jay! Not- not Jason. You never call me Jason. Sweetheart, please, listen," he pleaded as you tried nudging him out the door.
Jason turned around and grabbed your wrists, leading you towards the bed. He sat you down as he sat beside you, gently holding your face in his hands as he softly caressed your tear-stained cheeks with his thumbs.
"Y/n, my love, listen to me. I didn't mean that. When I said it was a problem that you look like that, I meant-" He sighed. "I meant that you looked drop dead gorgeous. Stunning. Amazing. Breath taking. Do you know how many people would be there tonight? Trying to steal you away from me?"
"Jason, why-"
"Jay."
You rolled your eyes playfully at his interruption. "Jay, why the hell would I let them 'steal me away' when I have a perfect man right here with me?"
"Because I'm not perfect! And there's someone who is perfect out there that you might find and leave me for, because you're perfect too!"
You scoffed. "Honestly, Jay. Do you know how many times I've dreaded you going to those galas because I might believe the same thing? That you're going to find someone better than me?"
"There's no one better than yo-"
You quickly cut him off. "Jason Tood, I swear to god, shut up." And he did, and you continued. "When... When you said that, I finally accepted that you didn't want me anymore. That you found someome perfect, and that was why you didn't want me to go. Because I don't fit in with everyone else. With all those rich, fancy people. Because let's face it, I don't, I really don't. So, yeah, I know you meant something different when you said that, but... I can't imagine any other interpretation of it. Even if you explain what you actually meant by it," your voice quiets down as you look down at your fingers intertwining each other while you pick on your nails and skin.
Jason's shoulder sag as he brought you in close. His lips leaned against your forhed as he muttered apologies loud enough for you to hear.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, sweetheart," He kissed your forhead. "It really wasn't what I meant," he kissed it again. "We can go together to the gala if you want," he kissed it a last time.
You sniffled, the sound making his heart ache, you looked up at him, shaking your head. "No, I don't really feel like going anymore," you say quietly, your voice hoarse. "I'll be okay, Jay," you whispered, "I promise, you go."
Jason sighed, letting go of you and getting up from the bed. When you think he's about to leave the room, he walks around the bed to the bedside table where his phone lies. He makes a call, the person picking up on the other end after three rings.
"Yeah. Yeah, Dick, uhh, I won't be coming tonight. Ye-Yeah, I know, I couldn't care less about what Bruce says, I'll see you tomorrow, bye," and he put his phone back on the table, removing his jacket, tie and dress shirt, leaving him in just his trousers after removing his belt.
Your head tilts in confusion, and Jason swears it was the cutest thing he's ever seen.
He lies down on the bed, grabbing you by the waist, pulling you down as he wrapped you in a warm, tight embrace, leaving light kisses all over your face as you giggled from the affection.
"Next gala or event or family meetup or whatever, you're coming with me, and I'll introduce you to my family," Jason mutters, his face buried in your hair.
Your eyes glow, "Really?" you asked, already excited.
"Really," he lowly replied, kissing the crown of your head.
#jason todd#red hood#jason todd is my life#titans jason todd#jason todd titans#dc titans#i love jason todd#jason todd x reader#red hood x reader#jason todd headcanon#jason todd ff#jason todd fluff#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd angst#jason todd fic#red hood fluff#red hood fic#red hood fanfiction#red hood angst#red hood x y/n#red hood x gender neutral reader#red hood x you#jason todd x gn!reader#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you
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