#but I’m genuinely tired
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#ok I’m gonna bitch and be a baby for a second#I just wanna have a day to myself#I don’t remember the last day I had to just relax#I’m always doing shit#I’m back at my sisters helping do her dishes and pack and shit#been here for the last three days#I’m tiiiiiired#I wanna sit on the couch and not move for a few hours#I’m just tired with life#yes I’m sleepy#but I’m genuinely tired#like I’m too tired to even do my long rant posts#I’m just tired guys#:(#shut up rosie
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if you don’t stand with palestinian people literally just leave my blog. you can be israeli and you can be jewish and still recognise that palestinian people, not to mention that millions of those people are kids, are being killed and have been attacked for literally just living in their own country. the israeli defense minister is cutting off food, water, electricity to attack palestinians in gaza and calling them ‘human animals.’ they aren’t even treated as people anymore, yet half of them are innocent kids.
it’s like only a select few people care about palestinians and the rest of the world think of them as all being islamic extremists and terrorists for just living in their own country. it’s fucking disgusting how the world has turned a blind eye to innocent palestinians for decades.
if you want someone to blame, turn your heads to the people who allowed israel to take over palestine. to the israel government and hamas who are allowing innocent people, both israelis and palestinians alike, to be killed.
#palestine#i’m genuinely so sick of this world#i’m tired of muslims all being lumped in with the extremists who are acting in the name of God when their beliefs are completely against#what our religion teaches#and most of all#i’m tired of this all being about religion when it’s about people who want power and land and innocent people to die for their own selfish#wants
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Get rekt
#tomas vrbada#this is genuinely all the art I had time for this week#other than commissions#shout out to commissioners#anyway GOD I miss drawing#bi Han#Tomas snapping out the sick moves#hashtag childhood trauma#hashtag still getting traumatized#I’m so tired good night#mk#fffrost art#fffrost doodle#meme ig#mk1#mk1 sub zero
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forever thinking about the way they’re literally obsessed with each other
stopping myself cause i could just keep adding to this
#sorry i just think about them constantly#they bicker and argue and fight#but goddamn are they dedicated to each other#after 7 years 4 of which they were apart#they are still partners#they still have that trust just like they did on day 1#ship or not i’m tired of people who think they genuinely hate each other#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#soukouku#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chuuya#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#skk#skk brainrot#batpostingships
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I’m always so excessively hard on myself whenever I experience a normal human emotion. Like the first thought that comes to mind is how to mitigate it and alleviate it and sometimes even pretend I haven’t experienced it. It comes w my toxic perfectionist tendencies but I think that’s so unsustainable. And so today while I was journaling the first thing I wrote was “it’s okay for you to be feeling this, you’re human and no human is perfect” and that was so big for me. Like actually acknowledging I’m not a uniquely horrible person for having flaws. I think the fear of being imperfect has also come w historically having people in my life who just didn’t allow me the space to be a flawed girl in this incredibly confusing and harsh world. But it’s fine bc I don’t need their validation anymore and I don’t care how anyone perceives me. I’m okay w myself. I am legitimately trying my best right now. And that’s all that matters
#today I actually acknowledged it’s okay for me to be like. not an actual angel amongst mortals and that’s genuinely so big for me#like who fucking is???? but tell me why I give people all the space in the world to be flawed and like give nothing for myself#no thanks! I’m tired and I do deserve the space to be a flawed 21 year old actually#that is today’s revelation.#p
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in my mind they’re besties
#i do have a genuine reason for their friendship i’m just too tired to explain it#bendy and the ink machine#batim#bendy and the dark revival#batdr#sammy lawrence#henry stein#susie campbell#alice angel#senry#you can pry my original henry design away from my cold dead hands#i will never use his canon design that’s a promise
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free my complex female character, she did the same thing as complex male characters but the fandom takes Any analysis of her actions/choices/motivations that doesn’t strip her of all of her agency in bad faith and claims that only misogynists would dare to critique the things that they’ve noticed in her character because she’s a woman, completely ignoring the over-presence of discourse about similarly traited male characters in their fandom.
#exhausted by people categorizing CRITIQUE. not even genuine hate just literally basic analysis of imogen’s character#as a) hate at all but b) misogynistic simply because… they assume the person like caleb and percy uncritically like#i love imogen and i love her because she’s riddled with complexity that gives reason for her to be unlikeable#the shit ashton says makes me want to tear out my hair and i could write analysis on why but they’re still one of my favourite characters#i enjoy caleb but watching him infuriated me because of his self interest which is a coherent trait of his but is a tiring one#similarly with percy of love his pretentious Smartest In The Room shit but sometimes it meant he treated others more poorly than necessary#but i’m not unpacking all of that just so i have some fandom mandated right to say that i think there’s an aspect of a female character#that is imperfect in the human sense#because like. i will continue to call imogen’s self interested until the world burns and the moon shatters. because she is.#the only reason her choice to do good is compelling at all is because the choice to do otherwise is so tangible#it isn’t a Mistake or Fault that she’s self interested. it’s by design#like. she reaches towards the storm in curiosity in her sleep. but then she fights back when she’s awake#that’s it#that’s the dynamic. that’s what’s compelling#but no ur right fandom. let’s instead all agree that imogen is actually just intrinsically good#and take away all agency and complexity and humanity from her#and instead slap a sticker of Morally Good and enjoy the caricature of her where she’s made to fit into the imagine of#the latest aesthetic ad for diarrhoea medication#imogen temult#critical role#inspired as always by dumbass twitter posts that i’m subjected to because of school n work#the worst part is i do like the laudna n imogen dynamic in the stagnancy where it is but so much of that fandom is so clear in their erosion#of both characters actuality to suit the picture of Ship Tropes#like fuckin. so much of imogen’s fanart in imodna making her fat which as a fat person great love to see it#not so much when it’s clearly to make her short n stout against laundas tall n lanky.#anyway
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Gentle reminder that my kofi link is in my pinned post. While The Other Q’s ER trip won’t financially destroy us it’s still going to be a big hit on top of having to get some major repairs done on the car before winter hits
#I#genuinely hate doing this#I wanted to open commissions instead#so people would at least get something in return that feels worth it#but i haven’t been mentally in the right spot to take those for months and this isn’t helping#at this point doing anything more than silly doodles to try and keep my spirits up feels exhausting#just gotta#hope things will be okay with Q and the car and everything else#sorry I’m just not doing so hot either#I’m still dealing with withdrawals from stopping my medication and now I’m getting a cold from sleep deprivation again#fun times#I’m so tired
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Sleep deprivation
You don’t need to make your whumpees stay up forever. Just, make sure they only sleep for a few hours at a time. Make them sleep in uncomfortable positions or places so the sleep isn’t meaningful. Scare them awake with loud noises. Barr them from napping. Make it so they’re only allowed to sleep when they’re in bed with you, then don’t sleep in bed so they’re stuck. Sleep deprive your whumpees, but let ‘em get just enough sleep to stay slightly sane. Keep ‘em in that exhausted, weakened, sluggish state but don’t let delirium set in. They’re more fun when they’re sane.
Based off my absolutely horrible sleep deprivation and exhaustion. If I have to deal with this, so do the whumpees.
#whump#whumpblr#whump writing#whump scenario#whump community#whump prompt#whumpee#emotional whump#exhaustion whump#i’m so tired#genuinely exhausted#please#help
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do you actually view nonbinary people as non-binary or as binary people too scared to come out
this is a wild thing to ask someone who’s very openly not binary. like what even prompted you to send this? even if you didn’t know that i’m not binary trans, what have i said that would lead you to think i don’t believe in nonbinary people? is it just the fact that i’m a trans man and talk about being one on here? because sometimes it really feels like that’s all it takes for some of y’all to just assume i hate nonbinary people, as if those are mutually exclusive categories (which is ironically an exorsexist assumption in itself).
anyway, if it needed to be said, of course i view nonbinary people as nonbinary. it would be very silly of me to feel differently given that i’m not a binary trans person myself and that most of the trans people i’m close to in real life are nonbinary. i would strongly encourage you to ask yourself what it is about me that made you feel the need to ask me this in the first place.
#i am. so tired#anon hate#<- idc if it wasn’t meant as that or doesn’t seem that way to other people bc at this point? i’m done treating these as genuine questions#like this is what i mean when i talk about how frustrating it is to be a trans man with a complex gender#bc it really feels like other nonbinary people will just. see that you’re a man and assume not only that you’re not part of the community#but that you must be actively hostile toward it#idk. maybe i’m reading too much into this question but it feels shitty and i’m not gonna pretend it doesn’t
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Pornbots with actual porn are back in droves but thank goodness staff is hard at work ripping apart their few working features seam by seam instead of addressing this huh
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idk but I feel like if you’re a YouTuber/podcaster with the ability to edit before you publish, you shouldn’t make a big joke about how you can’t pronounce people’s names and act like it’s self-deprecating humor for you to keep getting it wrong and you should instead maybe look up how to say it before you record and edit in the correct pronunciation if you have to
#like I’m tired of this#it’s not funny at your expense no matter how much you try to make it#genuine flubs are fine and all but if you’re on screen stumbling for several seconds#maybe pause the fucking video and look it up and then record#like coming from someone who has a name that looks like it’s easy to pronounce in English#but is actually very different when pronounced in french#I’m not gonna get mad at people for getting it wrong without meaning#I am gonna correct them tho
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I find it odd and by odd I mean racist that ever since that stupid show cast the Dragon Twins as Black girls, there's been an uptick in Jace/Sara content/shipping.
Before the dumpster fire started, reasonable people agreed that Sara Snow was not real, but now you cannot go five minutes in Jace or Baela’s tag without seeing someone wish they'd include Sara Snow in the show.
They say it'll deepen Jace’s character and make him “interesting”, whatever that means. The problem with this assertion is that Jace is already plenty interesting, he led the war councils while his mother grieved, and he recruited the blacks' most important allies. Allies who remained steadfast even after his mother's and his own demise.
Furthermore, Jace has existing relationships in his life that the show could explore to delve into his connection with bastardy. Three of whom are canonically Black, by the way.
So, the question arises: what unique perspective or insight can Sara Snow provide to Jace's struggle with his bastard status that Nettles, Addam, and Alyn cannot?
#i was going to leave it alone because i’m tired of talking about antiBlackness in general but i saw a post that annoyed me in Baela’s tag.#this fandom is so racist#it is genuinely exhausting that i cannot even scroll a characters tag in peace#it is telling that most of y’all skip all the canonical Black bastards to attach yourselves onto a white character whose in world existence#is debated#how would reducing baela to the other woman in her own relationship help her character?#would that not just repeat the disgusting precedent that the show runners set with laena#why can’t she be loved and cherished and missed and treated with tenderness#house of the dragon#baela targaryen#jace velaryon#nettles#addam velaryon#alyn velaryon#sara snow#had to get that out of my system#back to ignoring asoiaf discourse as best i can
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#qsmp#qsmp Jaiden#qsmp Roier#qsmp cellbit#qsmp guapoduo#qsmp elquackity#am I cooking or am I delirious#I genuinely can’t tell#also I just watched Frozen 2 for the first time#can you tell?#qsmp Bobby#qsmp richarlyson#qsmp favela five#favela 6?#idk anymore#I’m tired#also the thought of Tubbo Duke of Weselton is hilarious#I’m kickling.
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Goodnight, Night Vale. Goodnight.
#genuinely I’m so tired I’m about to hit the hay as they say but I’m so. So proud. Honestly the past 24 hours felt like November 5th#A delightful fever dream revival of Ye Olde Tumblr#night vale#welcome to night vale#Wtnv#cecil palmer#cecil gershwin palmer#cecilsweep#cecil sweep#sans undertale#sexyman rematch#tumblr sexyman rematch#tumblr sexyman poll#mine
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i do not want to dig a hole but i am too much of a laura bailey pc enjoyer to not make this post so:
selfishness ≠ a lack of kindness
selfishness is a theme that has come up with all of laura's main campaign pcs. that doesn't mean that her characters are always making selfish choices or that they don't care about the rest of the people they're with or that they're not good. it's just that, for the most part, the first thing they're thinking of when they take action or make choices is themselves.
in jester and vex both it is more typical and obvious selfishness. vex's developed because she needed it to keep herself and vax alive and as safe as possible and it grew into a behaviour that she had to actively work to avoid. it's evident in her greed, her theft of the broom, her reaction to her own death which relied heavily on i'm okay/i survived to which keyleth reminded her that she wasn't the only one who had to witness and reckon with her death. in jester's case, she grew up in an environment that literally trained her to make every decision based on two things - her mother's opinion and her own. so, when she's out in the world without marion for the first time, her choices are those that will benefit her and her actions are those that consider her own thoughts and not really many others' (aside from the traveler's).
it isn't a criticism of either vex or jester to say that they are characters who act selfishly. in fact, i'd argue that to claim otherwise does a great disservice to exactly how immense both of their character arcs are. because the nuance of both jester and vex is that they are selfish, and they also hold extreme room for self-sacrifice and empathy. vex is much more brash than jester is, and jester is much more trusting than vex, but both of them are characters who begin with selfish impulses who grow with them. neither ever truly shed those impulses, but they use them in new ways, typically transforming them into impulses towards things that are in the best interest of the party.
you may have noticed the lack of imogen in this post about laura bailey pcs and that's because of two reasons. one, we are an unknown amount of time into her story, i can't analyse her development the same way i can vex and jester's. two, imogen's selfishness isn't the blatant quasi-self-aware selfishness that we see in things like jester complaining about her lack of money to caleb or vex stealing a broom. instead, imogen's is very internal, like a lot of laura's character work with imogen. it is a bit similar to jester’s in the sense that it comes from a lack of awareness moreso than vex’s practiced behaviour, but imogen’s is a lot more tied to inherent beliefs she has about the world and the people in it.
as a consequence of her powers, imogen sees people's thoughts as their entirety, she holds it above their actions to be the truth of who they are - to act against what they think or to say something that doesn’t cohere with what they’ve thought is akin to lying, so for her to act empathetically is to act in tandem with what someone else’s thoughts are, not how they act, which is typically not all that wanted. the same as vex’s greed and jester’s naivety, this is a trait that makes narrative sense and it’s one i find quite compelling, especially when read in the vein of someone struggling through trauma that has made them assume that the world is against them. imogen’s cynicism is coherent cynicism, i can’t say that in a similar situation i wouldn’t have the same predisposition towards the world.
the part that is particularly self-interested comes in if you look at how imogen has actually been treated in the campaign (quite well) in comparison to the cynicism that she’s developed from her past (something that speaks to a world out to get her). certainly, a bunch of shitty things have happened to imogen in the time we’ve known her, but the same can be said for everyone in bell’s hells and pretty much everyone in exandria at this point in time. but, in a fight to save the aforementioned world, imogen’s focus was getting her mother back on her side. which, while very consistent with her character and a choice that i enjoy, is a very selfish one. the fun thing (to me, obviously) about imogen is that she has, more than most, an insight into the opinions of others and she also tends to seek others’ opinions out and genuinely engages with them and supports their choices. but she still very much acts towards what she thinks is best. it’s one reason i enjoy looking at the dynamic between her and orym as one between foils, as orym tends to be stalwart in his beliefs and doesn’t care too much for other’s opinions if he’s already sure of his own, but his actions tend to favour collaboration and protecting others.
as i mentioned earlier, imogen is a harder case to look at because she is still in the process of her story. however, the circlet is clearly influencing how she interacts with the world and in the wake of the solstice, the hostile reaction towards ruidusborn people has started to become more and more apparent and i’m interested to see what route that ends up leading imogen down and how it will influence her relationship with the rest of bell’s hells. (for better, i think, based on recent conversations, but if it's for worse i will be just as seated and excited).
all of this is just to say, please stop assuming that claiming a character has a trait you think is a bad one is criticism or a hate post. in light of the fact that i know that people who don’t believe this will continue to not believe this, i’ll encourage anyone confused about the ability of a character to be good and kind and selfish all at once to look to what the text itself says, specifically scanlan’s words to pelor when asked what vex means to him:
“Her name is Vex, and she is greedy and mean sometimes, and she can steal a lot. She’s a little bit not the greatest person, but her flaws highlight everything that is right about her, which is she does all these things to protect her friends and her family. She would give her life for any of us and for anyone who was truly in need. And she’s not perfect but she’s the most perfect of all of us.”
would you look at that... an ability to be a multitude of things, some in conflict with one another. i know that's hard for fandoms to believe, especially about female characters with agency, but i promise its true!
#deeply unfair of laura to make three characters with some type of people skills and morality shaped by their loneliness#and what. i’m just supposed act like i’m normal about that?#this is me blog and i have slightly more time than usual to write nothing essays about fictional characters that haunt me#but dear god . lookin at cr characters and denying their flaws is like looking at a house and only seeing it’s doors .#if ppl demand perfection of fictional characters im genuinely curious in what media they’ve ever found that .#a single imogen post of mine broke containment and it skyrocketed my annoying phil student levels so. alas#but . if you agree that imogen had an incredibly isolating life . i will emphasize that isolation causes traits and behaviours#that aren’t just Quirky or fun or hot anger or whatever#imogen contains so much i love her so much i am bursting at the seams about it#but for some ppl. she is ur ‘girlfailure’ until someone suggests a way she might be girl failing by being selfinterested#what is the truth. do u want her to be an actual girlfailure it do u just want her to suit a . frankly tired. trope about lesbians#anyway . both text and tag rant over . goodnight#cr meta#imogen temult#vex’ahlia#vex’ahlia de rolo#jester lavorre#critical role#my posts
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