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#but I have a burning determination to make awful things so here we are
camcorderrevival · 2 years
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Cassandra, Evelyn De Morgan // Cassandra, Florence + The Machine
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20dollarlolita · 3 months
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The process of how I bought my wheelchairs.
Someone's asked for help on this, and I've written a couple of really thorough posts that I never published, but here's the short I intended this to be short, but it's not version.
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: This is not medical advice. I cannot provide medical advice. I am sharing my own experience, and it should not be used as your only research for this issue. Any time I am saying, "you," please note that it is a style choice to use the second person, and not an indication of giving advice.
Quick note: if your doctor prescribed you a chair, make sure you know what kind of chair was prescribed, and why. The best chair in the world is still awful if it doesn't do what you need.
Also if your insurance will cover a wheelchair then, once you've made sure that your insurance will cover the chair you need, make the smart choice about where you'll buy these things.
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The first time that I was using a wheelchair full time, I was borrowing this one from a friend. This chair is about $500, so when I was buying my first chair for myself, I was looking at that price point. If a chair I was considering was notably more than $500, I knew I could just get my own copy of this chair that I was already comfortable with. The chair that I was borrowing was three years old and had been heavily used, so I was confident in this model's lifespan.
The other big advantage of this is that it ships free with Prime, which meant that it was easy to send to a friend when I was tired of watching her use a inexpensive chair to get around the Disney parks.
But then I went on ebay and learned about the magical world of secondhand wheelchairs. The short version of the story is that a wheelchair can outlive someone's need for it, and so it's not super uncommon to see someone selling an older wheelchair for much less than the chair is new. A lot of the time, these are custom or modular chairs. Instead of a basic chair that's set up to one-size-fits-probably-most, modular and custom chairs have 10+ pages of options to select from in their order form. When you're buying a new custom chair, you pick every option to make sure it's perfect for you. When your goal to buying a used chair is to just get one that's better for you than a Drive Super Sport one-size-fits-hopefully-you chair, the secret to buying on ebay is to find out what features you absolutely need, and then to check the other elements of the chair and see if they will work for you.
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Quick note, at the time that I was buying my wheelchair, I actually already owned a wheelchair, and had decided it wasn't going to work for me to use full-time. This is an Invacare Tracer and it was, according to the tag, stolen from a wheelchair rental place in 2010, and according to my mom, stolen from my neighbor's to-be-burned pile in 2019. So if we don't count alleged crime as a cost, this wheelchair was free. This is a great example of a chair that's set up to be one-size-fits-no-one-perfectly.
This wheelchair would be better than nothing, but it's heavy, the wheels are really far back, and it doesn't really fit in my car. The tires have no tread and are pretty worn, so they don't do great for outdoor offroading. All detachable parts of this (armrests, foot rests) had been lost a decade ago, and they're not cheap to replace. I already knew what kind of budget I was willing to spend, and I felt that just using this as my main mode of movement wasn't going to be worth the saving of the $500.
I do still use this wheelchair a LOT in my house, because it's a pain to get my real wheelchair out of my car and into my house (because stairs), but I wouldn't feel confident taking it out on the town unless I have someone to push me.
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So the secret to buying a wheelchair on ebay is a three step process:
Determine how much money you're able to spend. The best wheelchair in the world isn't going to do you any good if you can't actually get it.
Determine what main features you want in a chair, and look for those.
When you find a chair that has those features at that price, check to see if everything else in the chair works for you.
(Secret step 4: be lucky enough to have someone listing the chair you need).
So I picked this chair (Which is a Quickie 2 Lite) mostly because the Medwarm wheelchair had been a bit too wide for me. This chair was narrower and had a lot of the traits of the Medwarm chair that I'd liked. It folded, had 24" wheels with tread, had feet plates that didn't stick way out in front. I didn't actually know how any of that felt until I had it, because I didn't have experience with multiple wheelchairs. My inexperience gave me a superpower, which was that I didn't need to get so critical of certain traits, because I had no idea what any of that meant.
Shipped and with tax, this was $400. At the time, I just went, "hey, this is like the wheelchair that I want, but without the negative trait of being as wide, and it's $100 less."
The main this about this chair that I learned that I love is that the center of gravity is farther forward than on the Medwarm chair (I believe it's set to +1"). This gave me a lot more power pushing myself. When I was using the Medwarm chair, it wasn't uncommon for me to ask friends to push me long distances. I very rarely needed that in the Quickie2.
But I did have to replace it.
Short version of a long story was that when I went to being a most-time wheelchair user, the seat of my chair got smaller relative to my body. I'd picked a narrower chair because it was easier to navigate the world, but I'd actually picked a chair that was becoming too small for me to fit my Kitten Holding Legs into. I looked into getting a new chair.
So let's talk about the wheelchair that I bought and couldn't use. We learn from our wins and our misses.
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This is a 19" Catalyst 5. There's a few problems with this one for me, but they all sum up to (for me personally) that it had more negative (to me) traits than the Medwarm one, but also was more expensive. I'd picked this one because it looked like it'd be more like my Quickie2 than like the Medwarm, but it just wasn't good for me.
My Quickie2's narrow, so I could put my feet right next to each other. This was the most comfortable way for me to sit. The way that KI measures a Catalyst frame and the way Quickie measures a Quickie 2 frame are different. My 15" frame Quickie 2 had a 14" wide seat, and this 19" Catalyst 5 had a 22" wide frame. The first time that I unfolded it, I knew that it was just too big for me to use comfortably. In addition, I didn't like the solid low-profile tires. I didn't like how far away the wheels were. It also had a really nice quality back, but the back had to be removed to fold the chair, so it was another step to take in and out of my car. It was also about 2" shorter at the seat than my old chair, and I already deal with being too short for my store's counters, so I didn't like losing that height.
So this was a case where I looked for traits that I thought I wanted: folding, wider seat. Then, instead of checking to see if the rest of the traits of the chair were things that I wanted, I just assumed it'd be okay. Personally, it just wasn't the chair for me.
I ended up learning that selling a used wheelchair on ebay is actually pretty easy as well, so the money I lost on this purchase summed up to the cost of a roll of bubble wrap to pack it up to send it to someone who would benefit from it.
When I was looking for my next wheelchair, I had changed what I wanted out of a chair. I knew that I wanted tires with actual tread on them, instead of solid poly smooth tires. I knew that I wanted a wider seat, but not too wide. If it didn't come with a little bit of camber on the wheels (that's where they slant towards the top of the chair), I wanted to be able to add it. I also wanted it to be a minimum of 17" high seat. But the biggest change was that I'd decided that I didn't really need it to be folding.
I drive a hatchback with back seats that can fold down, and I pretty much never have passengers. I decided fuck it, if I'm not driving people, I don't need to keep the seats up, so I could get a non-folding chair and just shove the whole thing in the back without breaking down. Without breaking down the chair. I could still break down. Life is tough sometimes.
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So this is a Quickie GT, which is an old, discontinued model. According to the serial number lookup, it was made in 2009. The good news is that it immediately passed the Cat Test.
When I was looking at this chair, I saw that it was designed for people who push themselves, and would probably be less good for someone who needed other people to push them. This wasn't an issue for me, because I hate being pushed.
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(same chair plus two cans of spray paint)
This chair was over the $500 budget (it was $670 with shipping and tax), but this time I'd done enough research to be confident that it'd be a lot better for me than the Medwarm chair. I stuck with Quickie as a brand because I felt like I better understood how they size their seats. The serial number lookup said that this chair was 17" wide, so I was ready to get a 16" seat, and that's what I got. It's got pneumatic tires, which don't just have tread but also roll along the ground like bicycle tires. I love this chair. Instead of two separate foot rests, there's just the one, so I'm a lot more comfortable with how I sit.
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It does have the downside of this is the smallest it gets without taking off the wheels. The wheels come off easily and so it's not a big problem, but it's more steps to get it into the car if I don't want to fold back my seats. Also, the front plate doesn't flip up or go away, so if I want to propel myself with my foot I'm a lot more limited.
Once I don't need this anymore, I'm also going to need to either sell it or figure out where to store it. I can keep a folding wheelchair in the back of my closet in case I need it again, but this one will be taking up some space.
For all of the chairs that I got, I was really only searching ebay for a couple of days before the right one at the right price showed up. This is somewhat slanted based on what I need, because certain things do show up more often than others, and at different prices. Wider chairs tend to have less selection and be more expensive, while 12-14" wide chairs are really plentiful.
Let's get together and look at some ebay chairs. We're going to search "wheelchair" and set condition to "used". If you plop the sort system into "price+shipping: lowest first" and then start scrolling until you get past all the wheelchair parts and all the "free local pickup: <location that is in another country>" and into the actual wheelchairs that can ship, you can start checking out the market.
I immediately eliminate anything that doesn't have all the parts, that is too expensive, that is only available for pickup, that doesn't have foot rests, or a few other things. The first one that I saw that I didn't elminate was this.
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The most important thing from this listing is where they post the serial number.
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And that's because KI, Sunrise, and Permobil all keep databases of all the serial numbers of all the chairs they have sold.
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You can now go onto a site that sells that chair and look up what all those things mean. Spinlife sells the Catalyst 5Vx, and if you click "help me choose" on an item listing, it'll usually give you pictures of the different options. For me personally, the draw of this one would be that it's a really good price, and it's roughly set up the same as my default Medwarm chair. I don't like the tires but I do like the side guards and arm rest combo.
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This was on a listing for a chair where the serial number wouldn't pull up. I wouldn't consider this one since I can't tell the width or depth when the seller won't list it and Sunrise doesn't have it. I'm just dropping this screenshot because "SELLER NOTE TO SELF" and "BUTT PAD NOT INCLUDED" both made me laugh.
As a quick final note, this is not going to be cheaper than getting a really basic wheelchair off Amazon. However, as someone who has used really basic wheelchairs, getting something upgraded has a whole lot of value. One of the reasons why I really like lolita fashion is that we treasure used things that still have use, and so it's also got some value to me to see if I can get something used that still has use. In my experience, things got better when I tried to get something used. If you do want a really basic chair, it might still be worth it to check if they're available for nearby pickup. Plopping my location into "free local pickup within 30 miles" offers me a basic Drive chair for $20. It's reusing something instead of having to throw it away, and it's also $20. Can't argue with $20.
Anyway, that's half diary entry and half possible advice.
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A domestic moment between Aegon his wife and their newborn son?
Winter Child
Request: A domestic moment between Aegon his wife and their newborn son?
Hi! This is my first time writing for Aegon, so please excuse it if he seems a little out of character. I said I wasn't going to write for him, but I caved, and here we are.
Also, I hope you’re ok with the child being a daughter. I forgot that you asked for a son when I started writing and a daughter worked better for my idea, and I was already so far in when I realized. I’ll totally write another version of this if you want a son instead, just let me know. This request is so cute, thank you for sending it in. Anyway, I hope you like it!
(Warnings: mentions of Aegon’s childhood and neglect from his parents, very vague mentions of childbirth, slight angst, let me know if i missed anything)
Aegon never thought he’d love anything in his life as much as he loved you.
He never thought a girl like you was in the cards for him. Before he met you, he was selfish, and solitary. A trip to Flea Bottom was as close as he could get to a woman showing affection, but even so, he knew it wasn’t true. 
When the Queen betrothed him to you, he dreaded every second between hearing the news and meeting you for the first time. He had planned to be awful. He didn’t want a woman pretending to like him, smiling for the realm, only to grow to loathe him behind his back. If he could get you to hate him from the beginning, it would be easy to push aside his duties as a husband. 
It was a good plan, and if you were anyone else, it would have worked.
But you were perfect.
At your first meeting, you didn’t shy away from him, or cower under his gaze. You held your head high, determined to show him he would not have a church mouse for a wife. When you looked at him, there was no pity in your eyes. There was no disdain or disgust. 
Only intrigue.
You weren’t afraid to touch him. It was clear to you upon your first meeting that Aegon had never been touched without animosity or upon false pretenses in his entire life. He had a far away, glassy stare when voices were raised too loud, and he had developed the slightest flinching reflex when a hand was raised too close to his face. Harsh touches, or no touch at all, it was all Aegon knew.
You, on the other hand, never raised a hand to him. You were direct and clear with your movements, always making sure he knew what you were doing before you did it. Nobody had taken the time or cared enough to do so, before he met you.
In public, you’d take his arm, and let him lead you around the Keep. You’d brush his arm passing him in the halls, squeeze his hand, stand close enough that your shoulders touched. He eventually gained the confidence to initiate these touches himself, becoming more bold about doing so.
In private, you were much softer. 
Sweeping his hair out of his face and tucking it behind his ears. Cupping his face in your palms, caressing his cheek. Running your thumb along the back of his hand, securing your arms around his waist. He began to crave your touch, he needed it. When you’d let go, his body would follow you, like it had a mind of its own. He’d lean into your touch, pressing his cheek further into your palm, tucking himself into your side. 
In the late hours of the night, instead of finding him in a brothel in Flea Bottom, he’d find himself in your chambers. 
More often than not, it was simply to lay with you, talking through all hours of the night. He’d tuck himself into your side, sighing contently as you ran a hand through his hair, untangling the strands with your fingers. 
By the time the wedding came around, he was enamored with you. Completely and totally in love. There wasn’t a thing he wouldn’t do for you. 
When your first child was born, he knew just how naive he had been. He’d sit atop Sunfyre and burn down the world if it meant he’d be protecting his child. Your baby girl. 
Princess Gael Targaryen. 
She had been named after the previous Gael Targaryen, who was known to the realm as the “Winter Child.” Aegon had been told stories of Gael growing up. 
She was the last born child of King Jaehaerys and Queen Alysanne. All but one of her older sisters had died within the span of five years, leaving her as the youngest daughter. She became a comfort to the Queen, keeping her company at all times. The two were rarely seen without each other, and the realm grieved when they learned of her death shortly after her nineteenth nameday. Gael had her own tragedies with her son, losing him too young, which is believed to be partially what killed her. Caught up in her own grief, the Queen left the Keep and King’s Landing, never returning. She died less than a year later, following the death of her youngest child.
Aegon had a certain appreciation for sad stories. 
He never felt comfortable in his own name. You knew Aegon felt like a disappointment, not only to the realm, but to his own mother. And to his father, who had desperately wished for a son. Aegon the Conqueror was certainly quite the man to follow after, and he felt like he’d never live up to the name. When Aegon was born, he was supposed to be the one to unite the realm, now securing the future of the crown. He could have been named heir, instead of Rhaenyra. He was supposed to do so much, it was an impossible name to live up to at such a young age. 
His fate was set when he was named in honor of the former. His daughter would not have the same fate. She would not grow up trying to fulfill petty prophecies or aiming to be like the one who had her name before her. 
She would just be Gael. Daughter of Aegon and Y/N Targaryen, loved deeply by her parents. No expectations, no preconceived notions about her potential…she’d just be Gael.
During the birth, Aegon nearly made himself sick. He stayed in the room at your request, but anxiously paced around at every sound of pain you made. He chewed on his nails, running shaky hands through his hair. 
When it was finally time for you to push, he held your hand, and laid his forehead on your shoulder, mumbling words of praise to you. 
When you heard Gael cry for the first time, you both erupted into tears. You had never heard a sound so beautiful.
Aegon nearly collapsed onto the floor at his first sight of her, and you would have too if it weren’t for you already having been laying down. She had the most beautiful shimmering silver hair, and light violet eyes. She was perfect.
Silverwing, a dragon previously ridden by Queen Alysanne, had come out of hiding during the birth.
You were informed by guards later that evening who had seen her while patrolling. She was spotted off the coast of the city, circling over Blackwater Bay. She didn’t come close enough to be coaxed any further, but both you and Aegon knew that she had returned for your baby girl. 
One day, she would claim her as her own. 
For now, she was your perfect little darling. Yours and Aegon’s. And he loved his girls with all his heart. 
After the birth, Aegon was hesitant to hold her. It took a lot of convincing from you and the Maester that him touching her wouldn’t hurt Gael. He finally relented and curled up on the bed next to you, waiting for you to place her in his arms. 
He had barely cradled her when the Queen burst in, nearly bouncing off the walls. Her eldest’s first child had been born, it was a huge deal. She couldn’t stop smiling, quickly rushing over and cooing at the baby. She asked if she could hold her, which you nodded to, and Aegon eagerly passed her over. 
He loved his daughter, there was no denying that. He looked at her like she had personally hung the stars, just for him. But he couldn’t get over the nerves that settled like a stone in the pit of his stomach every time he touched her. 
It was just as well, the Queen would hold her granddaughter for as long as you allowed her to. Aegon settled for watching his little girl in awe from a distance as she stared up at his mother.
The King slowly trailed in after Alicent, followed by Helaena and Aemond. Helaena rushed to your side, pulling you into a hug.
“I’m so happy for you!”
You smiled, squeezing her tight. “Thank you, Princess.”
She went over to see the baby, and Aemond took her place. “Congratulations, My Lady.”
“Thank you, Aemond,” you said, laying your hand on his arm. “I hope I get to congratulate you for the same one day. You’d make for a wonderful father.”
Aemond grinned, patting your hand with his. “We’ll see. I’m quite interested to see how my brother fares at the task.”
“He’ll fare quite well, if he knows what’s good for him,” you said in a warning but teasing tone, smiling as Aegon turned around, unsettled.
“You’ll do just fine,” Aemond said, clapping his hand on Aegon's shoulder. “I expect your wife will make sure of that.”
“You’ll make wonderful parents,” the King said, now holding Gael. “Look how precious she is. She’ll be adored by the realm, I can see it.”
“She’s very much adored by her parents. That is enough, for now,” you mused, reaching for Aegon’s arm. He nodded, giving you his arm to take as he sat down at your side.
“May I walk with her? Just for a minute,” Alicent asked, giving you a small smile. 
“Of course, My Queen.”
“Yes, let’s leave them be. I expect our new mother here wants a moment to herself. Everyone out,” the King directed, passing Gael to Alicent. Everyone filed out at the King’s command.
“Thank you, Your Grace.”
As soon as the doors shut, you wrapped your arms around Aegon in excitement, “She’s here! Our little girl is here.”
Aegon nodded into your shoulder, holding you tight in disbelief.
A few hours later, everyone had settled in for the night. 
Gael had been handed back to you, and the wet nurses had attended to her. They had since then left you and Aegon’s chambers, leaving you alone with your child. Aegon couldn’t keep his eyes off her, watching her as she slept. 
He had been standing over her for nearly ten minutes now, just watching her little chest rise and fall. 
You smiled, standing slowly and making your way over to his side. You placed your hand on the small of his back, resting your chin on his shoulder. 
“What is it, Aegon? You’ve been quiet all evening. It’s very unlike you.”
Aegon didn’t say anything, only humming as an answer. You frowned, bringing a hand up to push his hair out of his face. 
“Tell me, My Prince. Be honest…what ails you?”
Aegon sighed, finally taking his eyes off his daughter long enough to glance up at you. “I don’t want to hurt her.”
“Darling,” you said soothingly, taking his hands in yours. “Is that what you fear? You won’t hurt her. Babies are quite resilient, you’d be surprised at what they can withstand. They’re like jelly in the first few months.”
Aegon huffed, frustrated. “That isn’t it.”
You nodded patiently, cupping his chin and turning him to face you. “Then what is?”
He was silent a moment, before he finally met your eyes. “I don’t want to disappoint her. I never want her to know pain, not by my doing. She’s so…little. Innocent. I’d only corrupt her and stain her memories.”
“You won’t disappoint her–”
“I disappoint my own Mother and Father every day. I’m bound to do the same with her, it’s inevitable.”
You frowned, dropping his hands and taking a step back. “Have you ever disappointed me?”
Aegon shook his head in confusion, brows furrowing. “What?”
“You heard me. Have you ever disappointed me?”
He sighed. “Not to my knowledge, but I’m sure–”
“Sure of nothing. You’re wrong. You have never disappointed me, not ever. Not when we first met, even though you did not love me then. You’ve loved this child since before she joined us in this world. How could you possibly disappoint her?”
Aegon cast his gaze to the floor, shoulders slumping. “I don’t know.”
“You’re going to be a good father,” you said, gripping his shoulders. “I know your own parents didn’t exactly set the best example for you. They tried, but we all know they could have done better, especially with you. It wasn’t fair, what you went through. But listen to me…Gael won’t go through what you did, not ever. I know you won’t hurt her. I won’t allow you to. I’ll always be here, we’re in this together. We’ll support each other. Gael will know nothing but love and attentiveness, I promise you that.”
Suddenly, Gael began to stir, waking up. She let out a cry, and you quickly bent down to pick her up out of her cradle, gently swaying her in your arms. Aegon watched in longing.
“Here,” you said, holding your arms out. “Take her.”
“No–”
“Aegon…take her. It’s alright.”
Aegon gave you a reluctant look, but finally relented, holding out his hands. You gently placed her in his arms, making sure he had proper hold of her. He brought her close to his chest, curling her into him. He gently rocked her back and forth, cradling her. 
“She’s so tiny.”
You let out a soft chuckle, nodding. “Yes, she is.”
Gael opened her eyes, looking up at her father. Aegon’s breath hitched, and he brought one of his hands up to push the blanket back off her head so he could see her better. 
You smiled, gently grabbing his hand and moving his finger to point. “Look at that. Ten tiny fingers, ten tiny toes.”
When Aegon ran his finger over his daughter’s palm, she grasped his finger, closing her hand around the tip of it. Aegon choked back a sob, his face crumbling. You felt the tears springing in your own eyes, quickly wiping them away to lay one hand on Aegon’s arm, bringing the other to rest on his hand that was cradling Gael. 
“I don’t think I’ll ever grow tired of looking at her. I love her…I love you,” you said, smiling down at your daughter who had closed her eyes again. 
Aegon’s eyes softened on you, and he leaned over, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I love you, too. Both of you, more than anything.”
A/N - Hi! Sorry it’s a little short, but I hope you liked it. Let me know what you think!
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kakisocks · 4 months
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Bottom!Anakin with a pussy fics
If you've been searching for a compiled list of trans Anakin fics I've made this list! Read the tags, all will be completed fics, and none of them will feature Anakin with actual breasts.
It's Always Been You
GFFA-verse Unable to admit to their feelings, Anakin and Obi-Wan seek alternate means to relieve themselves of their sexual frustrations. or The idiots are in love and too stubborn to do anything about it. In classic Obikin bumbling style, they accidentally end up picking each other at a gloryhole.
Show Their Truth
With every action, Kenobi proved Vader's Master a liar.
Heavenly Tension
“What did you do before I got here?” Obi-Wan asks casually, and Anakin will never be over how he can talk about sex like this when Anakin still stammers over his words. “Just fingered myself,” he says with a bashful shrug, “It usually works but it wasn’t enough.” Because his fingers aren’t Obi-Wan’s, thick and determined and deft. Obi-Wan makes another of those cooing sounds that make him feel like a youngling. “Aw, and not even your vibrator was enough?” Obi-Wan asks, picking it up from where Anakin had tossed it aside. “N-no, it was too much,” Anakin explains, trembling slightly as Obi-Wan rubs soothing circles into his skin. “Sweet boy,” Obi-Wan purrs out as he puts the toy aside, “I’ll take care of you how you need, don’t worry.” (Or, in which Anakin needs his Daddy to help him come but he learns that's okay.)
Good Things Come for Boys Who Wait
“Would you like to?” “What?” Anakin asks, confused once more as Obi-Wan waits patiently and expectantly for something. His fingers on Anakin’s hip burn. He wishes he could have more. “What it’s like to be eaten out — would you like to know?” Obi-Wan’s voice has taken on a huskier quality, and Anakin could die. or, Anakin has never been eaten out. Obi-Wan shows him what it’s like.
improper methods of scientific inquiry
Anakin stumbes upon a new and interesting species while bathing. Obi-Wan is a scientist at heart. -- For day 2 of monsterfucker march: plant monsters and tentacles!
make it hurt cuz we love it when it burns
Anakin wants to be a good boy, he really does. It's just so hard. Especially when the punishment for his failure is so enticing.
In the Heat of the Hour
A small gasp captured his attention fully, Obi-wan’s head snapping towards the door to see his omega, so shy and flustered standing at the doorway. He rose to rest on his knees, tightening his hand around his cock to relieve the pressure. Not able to suppress a growl, he watched how Anakin’s eyes seemed glued to his cock. His alpha wanted the omega under him, to praise him for coming to his alpha like a good boy. Anakin watched him closely, eyes finally flickering up to meet his own before he took a slow step back. “I shouldn't be here..” he muttered, taking another slow step back. A small whine caught in the omega’s throat when Obi-wan’s eyes narrowed, the boy coming to a standstill outside of the door.
don't like the cameras but I love it when you ogle
His Master just had a different, special way of showing his appreciation, his affection, his love for Anakin.
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littleracha · 8 months
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Ello! This is my first request can you do were CG Skz with their Little at the beach but the little can't swim?
Also english isn't my first language^^
Have a good day!
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Hello Little Duckling! You are doing amazing sweetheart! This request is beyond adorable. I decided to write it story style instead of headcanon, I hope you don't mind.
Have a good day as well, little dumpling.
Just a Little Splash
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Hot did not even begin to describe how it felt outside. The world seemed to be on fire and there was nothing to do to escape the heat. It was inevitable that you would slip due to the discomfort of the whole situation but that didn't bother your caregivers one bit. 
Instead, they were focused on cooling you down as your poor puffy face began to turn red and splotchy from the heat.
"Oh my poor baby, Mommy is so sorry." Felix felt awful seeing how your body was reacting. He placed a gentle hand on your forehead and was alarmed by your temperature. "Minho! Come here!" Felix shouted out before immediately going back to your care. "Shhh baby, Noona is coming. Your noonie will be here soon"
"What's wrong Lix, I am trying to stop Hyunjin from breaking what little A/C we have" Minho wiped his hands on his shirt before looking over at you. "My little kitten! What happened to you" He was instantly at your feet.
"They are burning up! I think the heat is starting to make them sick. We need to cool them down" Felix brushed your hair with his hand, it was a nervous habit of his as a caregiver.
"What about the waterpark?" I.N. seemed to show up out of nowhere.
"Can't, they closed it last week"
"DURING A HEAT WAVE"
"Don't yell at me! Take it up with Mr.Wildwaves himself" Minho snarked back to I.N.
"Hot" a weak little voice caught all the caregivers' attention.
"Oh we know sugar, Mommy is so sorry. Let's get everyone in here and figure out how to help our little baby." Felix ended his sentence with a bop to your nose. It didn't help much but it did make you giggle.
Once all the boys were in the living room, ideas started flying. The whole situation became overwhelming but thankfully Han caught on.
"Here little quokka, sit on Oppa's lap." After getting all snuggled up, Han pressed your head into his chest to muffle the noise.
"I got it!" Chan stood up from excitement at his idea.
"Little one?" Han kissed your head to get your attention. "Listen to Daddy now, okay?" You gave a tired smile.
"Let's go to the beach! Felix and I have been dying to take them! Minho already has lunch made so we can pack it up and take it with us. We can all hang out in the water and just relax. Sound good cubby?" Everyone could tell you agreed based on the smile that appeared on your face.
The trip to the beach was fairly uneventful. You rode with Chan, Felix, Seungmin, and Hyunjin. Jinnie tried his best to give your room so you didn't get hotter while Seungmin was determined to put every single car vent on you. This prompted a scolding from Chan in the driver's seat as he could see your teeth chattering.
When you began to see the ocean line break over the hills, you danced around in your seat. You climbed over Hyunjin to get a better look.
"Mama! See the water?" You pointed to the very obvious ocean.
"Mama isn't sure he sees it, baby. Can you point it out to me?" Hyunjin held onto your waist to keep you secure as he followed your instructions.
"But now Minnie wants to see pup! Can you show Minnie where it is?" You giggled at Seungmin's request but showed him anyway.
It was about an hour of setting up before the boys all collected around you and Jeongin on the beach towels. During that time Innie was explaining all the fun things you would get to do. All of it seemed like a whole new world to you and your eyes shined at every new activity. However, Jeongin didn't fail to notice how your eyes dulled at the mention of swimming. He wouldn't bring it up now, not while you are occupied by the strange substance known as sand.
"Okay, Bunbun! Plan time." Changbin swooped you up and sat back down with you.
"We are going to eat some lunch and then we are going to go play before we get in the water. Okay, Cubby?" Chan asked but he knew you weren't fully paying attention, Binnie was always too much of a distraction.
Minho passed out the food and gave Changbin a gentle reminder that the baby had to eat most of their food. However, that didn't stop your dada from becoming the munch monster and sneaking bites out of everything you had. While you were distracted, Jeongin whispered something to Felix.
The next few hours were some of the most fun you had. It started with sea shell hunting with Han. Then Hyunjin helped you make a sand castle fit for a mermaid royal family. Seungmin took you on a small walk up the coastline and introduced you to all the dogs that came your way. Changbin played some games like catch and frisbee with you and the other boys while Jeongin set up a small dance party. Whispers seemed to surround everything you did.
It seemed to be that time. All the boys eventually ended up in the water, well all but Minho. No, instead Minho was watching you take your much-needed nap under the comfort of the umbrella. Your eyes blinked open and you retreated into Minho's lap when the light came in.
"Oh Kitten, a little too bright huh?" He chuckled as he shielded your eyes. 
"Do you wanna join your other caregivers in the water baby, itll be much cooler."
"Um....No thank you" The way you fidgeted with your shirt was telling.
"Kitten, can Noonie ask you a question?" he was met with a hum in response. "My little kitten doesn't like water, do they? Baby, do you maybe not know how to swim?" You shied away in embarrassment. "No need to be embarrassed honey! Guess what, Noona can't swim either!"
"Noonie doesn't know how to swim?" Your head perked up at his confession.
"Nope! But you know what? I think maybe we should be brave together. What do you say kitten? Just a little splash?"
"Just a little splash." You repeated to yourself.
Minho carried you down to the water with his own shaking arms. To be honest he was just as scared as you were. But when the boys saw you both coming, the looks on their faces ranged from comforting to excited. Minho's toes graced the water and he jumped back a bit by the cold. 
Then, once situated, he lowered you down to the ground. He had to give you a bit of a shake to make you let go but his hand instantly intertwined with yours.
One step at a time you two entered the water all while Chan and Felix held out their arms.
"Come here baby, come to Daddy" Chan beckoned you over.
"Can't Daddy!" You backed into Minho.
"Yes, you can baby! Move your arms just like this" Felix motioned what he wanted you to do. "Then kick your little leggies!"
You followed his instructions and while you were moving slowly, you were moving.
"That's it cubby! Just a bit more!" All the boys cheered as you made your way into Chan's arms.
"Your turn Minho!" Han called out and was instantly met with rejection. Suddenly his torso was wet. When he looked to find the culprit he found a very smitten little staring back.
"It's just a little splash, Noonie!"
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bridgetotheskyyy · 5 months
Text
chapter three.
masterlist
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Chapter summary: You and the Sand Siblings go on vacation and, in the process, you and Gaara grow closer . . .
Chapter warnings: violence near the end, mentions of gambling lol, sexual tension, angst
Word count: 12k
A/N: (I encourage everyone to read the notes of this chapter from my ao3 as they're quite extensive lol)
Read on ao3 here
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The paper stack damn near reached the ceiling.
 You stared at it. “Wow.”
“Yep.” Kankuro approached the chair, slouched into it. “This is what it looks like when a war ends and you put off all the serious stuff.”
The paperwork pile was hardly the most eye-catching thing in the office; Kankuro had brought Crow, Kuroari, and another puppet, whose name you hadn’t learned, into the room. They slumped against potted plants, readied for polishing or tweaking the moment their daddy required a break from the workload.
Still, your eyes returned to the pile and wondered how many of the sheets referred to the Kazekage’s imminent marriage. How many mentioned you by name?
Your brow quirked. “What kind of serious stuff?”
“Boring stuff.” Kankuro yawned as he swiveled in the Kazekage’s chair. “Only thing that makes it bearable is knowing I won’t have to see any of this stuff for the next few days.” He shot his fists into the air. “The beach!”
“The beach!” You echoed. A thought occurred. “Have you ever been to one?”
“No.” Kankuro chuckled, kicking feet up on the desk, arms behind his back. “I’m like you; desert child through and through. Never even seen one. Can’t wait.”
“But you’re a shinobi!” You said. “I bet you’ve been all around.”
“I have,” Kankuro said. “But, I don’t know, it just never happened.” He looked out the window, where the day was uncharacteristically clear. A smile tugged on his lips for reasons eluding you. “When you’re a shinobi, you get to go to lots of exotic locales, but there’s not a lot of time for sightseeing.”
Your gaze climbed the bodies of the puppets with awe. “Such amazing powers you all have.” 
“Don’t be so quick to envy us,” Kankuro said. “It’s not a very glamorous life; you’re usually fighting for your life or trying to take somebody else’s.”
“At least you get to determine your life.” You barely heard yourself in your reverie. “Or, if you don’t like it, fight to get out of it.”
“Yeah?” The Kazekage’s chair creaked; Kankuro must have leaned forward in it. “And what are you fighting to get out of, (Y/n)?”
You sobered, turning your head to see Kankuro staring. “Hm? Oh — Sorry, I was just …” 
“(Y/n).” Kankuro was serious now. “Temari wasn’t too hard on you the other day, was she? Look, I know she can be scary — uh, most of the time — but, when you get to know her, she’s —” 
“What? No! I—” You swallowed, surprised by yourself. What was wrong with you? You couldn’t black out like that! “I don’t — know where my head went just now!”
For seconds more, he was quiet, only watching you inquisitively. You felt spotlighted.
The hand of the analog clock at the wall caught your eye. Nearly noon. 
“I better go get Gaara.” You headed to the door.
“You’re sure you’re all right?” Kankuro asked from behind.
“Yes, definitely,” You hastened, only to halt your hand at the knob. “Oh, by the way, how exactly are we getting to the beach?”
Another smile tugged at Kankuro’s lips as he pulled a cloth forth from the desk drawer, likely for polishing. “Oh, that’s a surprise.”
You continued self-flagellating as you traipsed through the halls of the Kazekage’s palace, attempting to find a way out of its maze. 
What was wrong with you? Like being a shinobi would give you more power over your life, access to your fate. Hideo was a shinobi. Did he control his fate?
Did anyone?
You were controlling your fate now — rebelling against your father, choosing Gaara and his siblings. You had grabbed the rope of fate.
You only hoped it didn’t slip from your grasp, burn your hand in the free fall.
You caught eyes with someone as they rounded the corner opposite you. Someone familiar … Rough lines creasing his aged face, Suna council garb —
“Elder Joseki,” You greeted.
Joseki’s eyes widened imperceptibly upon recognizing you. “Lady (Y/n),” he drawled. “I hope you’re enjoying your stay in the Sand.”
“Yes,” You replied coolly. “It’s been most pleasant. Thank you.”
Joseki studied you with a demeaning glare, the same one he had fixed you with at the party a century ago. You couldn’t tell if it was you he was displeased with or the world.
“And,” he began, “I’m guessing Lord Kazekage hasn’t told you anything of … importance?”
“He’s told me enough.”
“Has he?” 
You matched his cold stare with your own. “Your dislike of the Kazekage seems personal.”
Joseki advanced. “He’s more dangerous than you know, my lady. More dangerous than you can conceive. Do not buy into his act; the villagers are still deeply afraid of him, they only pretend to love him.” He clenched his fist. “Seas could not contain the amount of blood that boy has shed.”
You hardened yourself to his speech. “Personal, and most unpatriotic.”
“I only hope you will reconsider,” Joseki urged. “Return to your village before it is too late, and you are trapped here with more enemies than friends.”
“If you insist on riddles, I’m leaving.” You hurried past him.
“Going where?”
You stared crookedly at him. What right did he have to be so forward? So familiar? You had no reason to answer, but a desire to bite back at him corrupted you. “If you must know, the Kazekage and his siblings are taking me on a trip.”
Joseki’s eyes went wide, his skin paling. “You — You can’t be left alone with him!”
“You have stepped out of bounds, Elder.” Your voice was harsh. “We have nothing further to say to one another.”
“Lady (Y/n), wait —!”
But you were already on your way, blocking Joseki from your mind. 
You were so sick of paranoid old men.
He’s just like father … a pathetic old man, all of them.
You found Gaara asleep at his desk in the greenhouse, surrounded by the small cacti he fathered and loved so much. 
You tiptoed forward to see his face, plastered, along with his arms, against his desk. You had never seen him so vulnerable. Gaara’s eyelids, rimmed with coal-black, were closed, and his lips parted to exhale gentle breaths expanding his chest. 
So cute.
And intimate. 
Just days ago, you had sat in the same chair and told Gaara about your brother’s death. You squirmed with the memory. You refused to think of Father’s letter, the allegations that Gaara had been the one to …
Gaara stirred in his sleep. You hated to wake him — and considered against it. You leaned forward —
Something caught your eye. You turned your head. Behind a series of tall plants, something large loomed in the shadows. Something made of sand.
You tiptoed away from Gaara, synchronizing your steps with his gentle snores. Brushing banana leaves aside, you saw:
It was a sand-made statue of a woman. Short-haired and kind-eyed, along with the prettiest hands you had ever seen. It was only a second or two before you realized who she must be.  
Karura.
You made your way back to Gaara and leaned over his shoulder. With a loving begrudge, you began to rouse him.
“Gaara …!” You gently nudged his shoulder. “Gaara!”
His eyes cracked — flew open.
He shot up. You were face to face. Your lips almost touching —
“Eep!” You jumped away as his face turned red. “I’m sorry!”
“No …” Gaara looked around as though surprised by himself. “I’m sorry I fell asleep.”
“Can’t tell you how much I didn’t want to wake you.”
He smiled. “I catch up on sleep now whenever I can; I guess I sleep deeper than I thought.”
“That’s a good thing,” You assured him. He works so hard as the Kazekage that Kankuro taking over gives him time to breathe.
Gaara’s eyes roved over you, an arm roped over the chair. “You look nice.”
You admired yourself; you had been more casual in your dress since Temari had taken you shopping. A white shirt, underneath which was some fishnet you had become smitten with and borrowed from Temari’s closet (she said if you wore it some might mistake you for being a shinobi, which only made you want to wear it more) and simple black pants were what you choose to go with today. 
“Thank you.” You hung your head bashfully — only to be reminded of the statue and redirected your gaze toward it.
Gaara followed your attention. He stiffened. “You saw it …”
You met his eye and shared the vulnerability swimming there. “I … hope you’re not mad; I wasn’t trying to snoop, I … It’s very pretty.”
“Thank you.”
“It’s of her, isn’t it?” You said. “Your mother.”
Karura. The modest woman with the pretty name. You had only seen small portraits of her here and there, tiny mementos her children clung to in their efforts to never forget her. 
“Yes,” Gaara said, rising from his chair to approach the statue. “I was inspired last night. I’m never really satisfied with the work I do.”
“Don’t say that.” You followed him, feet instinctively carrying you wherever he went. “She would have loved it.” 
Gaara’s eyes widened, clearly taken aback by your assessment. He faced you as the two of you stood side-by-side, admiring the sand stature. “Do you think so?”
You turned to give him a smile. “I know so,” You affirmed. 
Of course she loved him; who wouldn’t?
And you don’t know if you did it on purpose or not, but your index finger came to brush against Gaara’s. You were thrown by the fire the slightest touch erupted in your belly. You looked down to spot your finger’s treachery. Gaara seemed neither to care nor mind. 
Your heart cartwheeled when he took your hand in his hold, the skin of his palm warm and secure against your own.
You remembered how it felt to be cradled in his lap seconds before you had leaped away, his hands on your shoulders … Something purred inside you, compelling you to lean into the hand hold.
You cleared your throat and broke away without knowing why. “You don’t talk about your father much, I notice.”
A shadow came over Gaara’s face. “The relationship the Fourth Kazekage and I had was … difficult.”
“You’re speaking to the choir with that one.” You giggled. You wiggled the hand Gaara once held in hopes of eradicating the tingle there. “I won’t pry.”
“No,” he said. “It’s all right. I was his … experiment.”
Cold water ran over you. You paused. 
Experiment. It was the same word Joseki had used. How odd …
A bitter laugh from you. “I think we’re all experiments of our parents.”
Gaara relaxed, seeming to be grateful for the out you’d given him.
“Lord Kazekage,” a new voice entered the greenhouse, and the two of you turned to see a servant. “Lady Temari told me to fetch you. The party is ready.” 
“Ooh.” You turned to Gaara with a conspiratorial smile. “And it begins.”
Luggages were hauled into carriages while Sand and Oasis ninja gathered to accompany the four of you on your vacation. Staring at the carriages ready for departure by the gates of Sunagakure gave you a strange sense of deja vu. 
“I’m not looking forward to getting back into those things,” You said to Gaara. 
He didn’t answer you.
A strange puppet you hadn’t recognized from Kankuro’s collection lay hunched by the side of the carriage. Temari came through the gap between carts, wielding a metal bar you couldn’t identify. She was followed by Kankuro and Baki.
“I hope the two of you have considered what I said,” Baki said.
“Oh, believe us, we have,” Kankuro said, and he and his sisters tapered into giggles. 
Baki sighed before catching sight of you. His demeanor transformed; the fatherly air had returned. “Lady (Y/n)!” He said warmly.
You returned his smile. “Hello, Baki.”
Baki turned to the carriages. “We took the luxury of packing your things for you. I hope you don’t mind. None of your things were extraneously handled, and I made sure your privacy was secured.”
“Oh, I hope you didn’t go to too much trouble,” You said. “I don’t need much!”
One of the carriage doors was left ajar; you spotted the luggage you had come with. 
“None at all,” Baki said. He gave a warning look toward Temari and Kankuro, who only bowed their heads. “I hope you all enjoy yourselves.”
You sighed, the reality of another carriage ride looming ever nearer. Let’s just get this part over with.
You made to hop into the carriage —
Someone caught your hand. You looked to your side and Gaara was there.
“What’s wrong?” You let Gaara lead you away from the carriage by hand.
“Oh,” Kankuro pointed to the carriage, “that won’t be your ride.” He shut the carriage door and turned to the ninja. “Start moving! We’ll catch up!” 
The ninja scurried away while the carriage jerked to life. It rode down toward the village gates. 
You looked toward Gaara with a nervous laugh. “What’s going on?”
Gaara simply smiled and swept his hand —
And enveloped you in a small sandstorm as tides of sand whipped past you. The wind pulled at your hair and toward Gaara. A giant platform solidified at his feet. He nudged you gently toward him and the two of you bumped hips as the platform began to float.
Float. 
Your scream crescendoed as the platform carried the two of you into a cloudless sky. The vertigo had you gripping Gaara’s shoulder as the entire village sprawled beneath you. Its spidered streets and huge, domed buildings grew smaller as Gaara directed the two of you away from the village. 
“I thought this would be a fun way to travel,” Gaara said, before looking down at you clutching his arm to add, “but, if you don’t like it —“
“Are you kidding?” You screeched. “Go faster! Faster!” 
Temari and Kankuro were at a lower altitude, carrying themselves over the Suna gates by their own machinations; Temari’s metal blade was actually a fan she used to glide over the gate, while Kankuro’s puppet was somehow attached to his back, propelling him through the air with giant batlike wings. 
“As you wish,” Gaara murmured, and sped up.
You could do nothing but gawk. The desert spilled out past the gates like a giant ocean; rolling dunes towering like waves, seeking to outdo one another as their hills stretched out over undisturbed cerulean. You detected the ninja and carriage below, but barely, having been reduced to mere ants from the altitude.
“This is amazing …” You breathed out.
“Come.” Gaara lowered himself on the platform to sit criss-cross. “Sit.”
You clutched onto him hard as he aided you. You let your legs lay out on your side. You traded his arm for his neck — hesitated, until Gaara allowed your touch, and you wrapped arms around him.
“I would never let you fall.” Gaara bowed his head forward with an assuring stare. “You know that?”
You nodded. A calm smile graced his lips, perfect on his face. His hand rested gingerly on your waist, sending your heart into a back-flip. Wind ruffled his crimson hair, bits of sand carrying into the air. And in that moment you believed Gaara had never lied once in his life.
Your hold on him mercified. “I believe you,” you whispered.
I was right. Amazing powers. You looked back to see Temari, the wind rippling her ponytails, laughing in the air. She watched Kankuro do flips and dips in the sky, folding and reopening his puppet’s wings. Squeak. The cork of Gaara’s gourd loosened to free yet more sand, and in midair the strips of sand morphed to become butterflies. 
They were all gods to you.
One butterfly landed on your cheek, kissed your face, and you giggled. “How is this possible?” You asked.
Gaara’s ease lessened. “I was … born with special gifts. Because of a spirit.”
You glanced at him — only to do a double-take. Your eyes widened. 
Wait.
Were they really gods?
“The spirit is gone, but very little of my power has dwindled,” Gaara added.
You leaned into Gaara’s side, allowing this new information to sink in. You were curious, so curious, and for once your father’s intentions did nothing to pervert that curiosity; you were enthralled.
You tilted your head. “What kind of —“ 
But then you realized; you were close again, so close, even closer than when you were in his lap nights ago. Your arms fastened around his neck, his hand holding your waist. There was no startling need to get away this time, only a growing need to dispel the remaining inches. 
Gaara stared at you from the corner of his eye, smiling. No blush, no fluster. 
The sun shone in your eyes. You cupped a hand over your forehead to visor them.
“The sun looks amazing on you …” 
You were not prepared for the husk in Gaara’s voice. Heat colored your cheeks. You raised your head to him. Your heartbeat quickened in your throat as your eyes got lost in the turquoise of his. That sweet, serene green —
A gust of wind blew past Gaara’s face to ruin the moment. 
You gasped, spun your head. “Not funny!” You yelled.
Kankuro and Temari only laughed and flew ahead of the two of you.
It was a full three hours of flight before a town, nestled into a cliff, came into view.
It was hard, after the fanfare of the last three hours, to both literally and metaphorically come down to earth. The moment Gaara had you on the ground, and the four of you huddled at the town’s gates, you playfully socked Kankuro’s arm. 
“O — ow!” Kankuro chuckled, rubbing his arm. 
“Why didn’t you tell me he was gonna do that?” You play-hissed in his ear.
“It was my idea, actually,” Temari said smugly.
Your hand flew to your chest to feign shock. “Female solidarity is dead!”
“Let’s hurry to the hotel,” Gaara said. “While it’s still nice out.”
The four of you ushered into town, as incognito as possible to avoid causing a stir. You wove your way through the streets when wet hit your nose. Salt graced your tongue when your lips parted.
The sea.
Excitement added élan to your steps. You barely maintained the proper pleasantries as you entered the hotel lobby. The group revealed identities and startled the receptionist — along with the rest of the staff, one of them prompted to fetch the hotel owner. 
“Lord Kazekage!” He bowed furiously, sweating just as much. “And his lovely siblings! Oh, oh, this is such a surprise! What an honor!”
“Sir,” one of the staff whispered in his ear, “I’ve seen her. She’s Lord Boutoku’s daughter, she’s marrying the Kazekage next month —” 
“LORD BOUTOKU’S DAUGHTER —?!”
Kankuro slapped a hand over the owner’s mouth as people in the lobby looked away from their newspapers and fine breakfasts to mind the commotion. “Mind keeping it quiet! Someone might overhear!”
The owner fished a handkerchief from his pocket to dab himself. “Yes, of course …! My apologies, Lord Kankuro …!”
“Look,” Kankuro’s eyes flickered every which way as he leaned in conspiratorially, “we’re here on a little weekend vacation, all right? We’d appreciate it if you helped us lay low.”
“Oh, oh.” You were sure the owner would go into shock. “Of course, certainly, oh, whatever you need, we’d be more than happy to provide!”
“Thank you, sir.” Temari was all charm and smiles as she slid a mysterious gold card to the receptionist behind the desk. “If you could just set us up with rooms now.”
“Of course, of course!” the owner said. “Only the finest for the Kazekage and his family!”
And he hadn’t lied; the rooms were enormous. It occurred to you just how little Gaara had to actually do as the Kazekage; only a few minutes had passed and already he had been secured the most luxurious room due to his title. It was decided: You and Gaara would share while Temari and Kankuro would have their own separate quarters. Gaara’s, of course, was the largest. He grew concerned on your behalf and asked if you wanted a room of your own, but, as there were two beds in the suite, you didn’t mind. And anyway, Gaara was the most trustworthy man in the history of men. 
“And besides.” You held back giggles as Temari and Kankuro collapsed on plushy couch cushions. “Your room has the best accommodations anyway — we’ll all just end up congregating in here anyway.”
“If you’re sure about it.” Gaara let himself smile as he examined the room. “We really must thank the owner for his hospitality. They are nice rooms.”
“A big tip!” Kankuro said, sinking into the cushions with pleased sighs. “The biggest!”
“I’m so sick of buildings,” You said, nearly bouncing up and down. “I want the beach!” 
“We might as well,” Gaara said. “I would hate to make you wait any longer.”
You gulped, imagining that phrase in a different context. What’s wrong with you lately? Too much Icha Icha!
The four of you retrieved the beach appropriate clothing and items from your bags and left the hotel. It didn’t help that the hotel had such lovely views of the beach — the bluest water you had ever witnessed. So close.
It was a five-minute walk until the beach, its plush sands transitioned from orange-beige to white, came into sight.
“Whoa,” Kankuro said. 
The waves curled and laid on the shore. Your eyes widened.
You ripped your shoes off and ripped past people cluttering the beach. You were through with your inhibitions. You expected to hear someone call for you to come back, only to glance over your shoulder and see Temari and Kankuro following you into the water. You let out a delighted scream as you plunged headfirst into the toiling waves.
Only then did you remember you didn’t know how to swim.
“Okay,” Kankuro motioned what was called a backstroke, “just lean your arm out like this —“
“No!” You squealed. “I’ll drown!” 
“Don’t be silly!” Temari said. Temari, who had decided she was already tired of the water, opted instead for a beach chair, sunglasses, and a smoothie underneath a shading umbrella. “You’ve got three of the strongest shinobi in the world watching over you. No one would let you drown — especially Gaara.”
Gaara, against all odds, could swim himself. He shadowed you in the water, holding his arm out to you.
 You pouted. “I thought neither of you had ever been to the beach.”
“Well, we know how to swim,” Kankuro said. “We’re shinobi, remember? Trained for every occasion.”
“I can continue helping her,” Gaara said as Kankuro made to help you. Something unknown passed between them, and Kankuro backed off.
“I’m, uh, headed back to shore.” Kankuro performed his so-called backstroke. “Take care, you two!”
You waved him goodbye.
“You’re doing well,” Gaara said. “Do you like the beach?”
“I love it!” You cried. “I can’t wait to catch starfish and, oh!” — You let go of Gaara — “shells —!”
“(Y/n!) —!”
Without his arm, you went under. Your cries transmuted to bubbles as you flailed. A wave brushed you aside, jolting you into panic. You flailed harder. Hands grabbed you and pulled you to the surface. 
“Are you all right?” Gaara’s voice was muffled by the water in your ears.
You looked over your shoulder to see Gaara holding you. Wild crimson locks clung to his face. Shirtless.
“I—” You spit saltwater out before answering, blinked water from your eyes. “Yes.” 
Your skills improved as Gaara taught you the basics, and soon you could bob your head over the water without support. Pleased with this progress, you decided on a break. You two emerged on land to admire the view. 
“Finally,” Temari said. “Thought you two would be at sea forever.”
“It’s really nice, Temari.” You pat your hair dry. “Sure you don’t wanna join?”
“I realized I prefer the view.” Temari took another sip of her drink — only to suck at the bottom of her cup. “I’m gonna get another.”
“I’ll come with,” Kankuro said. “I’m starving.”
You and Gaara were left alone on the beach now. You looked back at the waves. They coiled, crested, and collapsed to bask on the white sand with rhythmic harmony, as though dancing to a tune you were too ignorant to hear. You sighed.
“It’s absolutely beautiful,” You said.
“Yes,” Gaara said. “It is …”
“But how can there be a sea next to a desert?” You said. “It just doesn’t seem possible …”
“It’s indeed possible, if the air on the desert side is dry enough.”
Amazing … You looked out into the horizon. The world was such a magical, beautiful place — and your delusional father had kept you from it.
“You know,” You let your towel slip into your lap, “back home, it’s said that our oasis was once a sea. A lot of us believe that.” You paused; did you believe that? You hadn’t thought much of it, only thought it was such a pretty myth. “Or a gift from a spirit, after our first village head, Goro, slayed a horrible beast.” 
“It sounds like an amazing place,” Gaara said. “I hope, one day, you will take me to see it in person.”
Your father shadowed the conversation, dimming the light of the tales running rapid in your head. 
“Kankuro has told me some things about it, though little has been written,” Gaara continued, looking straight ahead. The shade of the umbrella shrouded all but one leg as he propped an elbow on a knee. “About how it has magical properties. Is that true?”
You cast your gaze to your feet, which you burrowed into the sand. Your knees were hugged to your chest. “I don’t really know. The truth is, I’ve never seen it myself. Father forbade me, said I’m not ‘ready.’ Everyone I know, I know from him.” Like everything else. “He’s told me stories … I just know people who aren’t from our village can’t access it or drink its water. They need permission from the village head. But …”
You leaned forward to take his hand, enamored with the way your fingers intertwined with his. 
“Once we’re married, you’ll be considered family,” You said. “We’ll see it together.”
Gaara ran a thumb over one of your fingers, considering you with a faint smile. “Yes, I’d like that.”
You unearthed a new dream. You gave it life and love and cradled it close to your heart. You watered it, as Gaara did his beloved plants, to keep it strong, and so it flourished in your mind’s eye: You and Gaara, visiting the oasis together, lounging underneath palm trees and sparkling water. You made to clench your hand until you remembered Gaara was holding it. 
I can’t let Father destroy this dream. I  can’t.
Gaara looked over your shoulder. “Oh, Temari and Kankuro are coming back …”
Temari and Kankuro sulked back to your section on the beach.
“The stands have nothing good,” Kankuro sighed. “Let’s go in the hotel to eat.”
“That’s Kankuro language for ‘let’s gamble,’” Temari snickered.
“I would never kid about food!” Kankuro argued. “I’m seriously hungry.”
“So am I.” You stood and dusted off your skirt. “Let’s go”
“Very well.” Gaara reclaimed your hand to help him off the beach, gave it a squeeze. “It will be on me.”
You secured a round table in one of the hotel’s swanky restaurants. It turned out Temari was right, because the moment your order came, Kankuro snatched his tray and made his way to the seductive poker tables to lose only the gods knew how much money.
“So predictable.” Temari rolled her eyes, crossing her legs at the table. 
You played with your fries, twirling them in the ketchup — something that would’ve gotten you a firm lecture back home — while Gaara set down his glass. 
“I meant to ask you both,” Gaara began. “When you went out shopping, did anything interesting happen? Did you talk about anything?”
You and Temari froze. You focused on the smiley-faces you were making with your ketchup pile while Temari scrambled for words. 
Your sister told me in so many words that she would rip my throat off if I so much as laid a finger on you — which makes all this a hundred times harder …
“Uh, I — aha, well.” Temari continued to stammer, worrying a napkin in her hands. “We …”
“Just girl stuff, that was all it was!” You chirped. 
“Ye—Yeah!” Temari said. She waved him off. “Nothing that would interest you, or — or any man, really!”
“Any man …” Gaara parroted. “I see.”
“No offense!” You nudged him assuredly. 
He raised his head. “Does that mean you discussed the wedding?”
“Hm?” You blinked. You were caught off guard; in fact, there had been no discussion of the wedding since you’d arrived. The wedding that was meant to be a wedding.
The wedding that was only a sham to get you here. 
“I think I would like a more traditional wedding, like Naruto and Hinata had,” Gaara said, surprising you with his forwardness. “You would look beautiful in traditional attire.”
“Uh.” This was not something you thought he would ever have any interest in.
“It seems like something the council would approve of, considering how stubborn they are about the old ways of doing things.” Gaara stiffened. “Only if you wanted. I thought we could discuss it over this vacation.”
“Gaara!” Temari scooted smoothie number five away, scandalized by her brother’s forwardness. Clearly, she had never met this version of her brother before, either. “What brought this on?”
“Our friends from the Leaf have been ecstatic about the news,” Gaara said. “And, as it’s only two or so weeks away now …”
“I think we should wait until we’re all gathered to talk about this, don’t you?” Temari’s amicable, sweet-older-sister voice was so incongruous with the woman you had come to know. 
“I agree,” You hastened, thankful for the save. “That way we can all be in the know. I mean, Kankuro’s not even sitting here.”
“I think you may be right,” Gaara said bashfully. “Sorry about that. I guess I just got carried away for a minute there.”
“Not at all,” You said before biting into another fry. He’s so cute.
You had come to realize there was nothing quite like Gaara flattery; he was so earnest, so sincere. And he was excited about the wedding, about marrying you. The wings of your heart brushed your ribcage. But you didn’t want to have this discussion; it brought your lie(s) to the forefront of your mind. It was too raw, and you were not yet strong enough to weather it, to invite the others into your delusions. Only you could have these fantasies in the privacy of your mind where nothing could reach them.
But it was another facet to the dream you’d begun to nourish. 
A new thought slotted in with the rest: Gaara mentioned Naruto, seventh Hokage — his friend.
“You’ve said before that you know Naruto Uzumaki personally.” You leaned in with curiosity. “What’s he like?”
“An absolute goofball,” Temari said.
“A true friend,” Gaara amended. “And an incredibly strong and formidable opponent.”
Temari shrugged. “Yeah, that, too.”
Gaara began sharing amazing anecdotes about his adventures with his other shinobi friends, how he and Gaara had fought after the attack on Konoha (you paid special attention to your meal, averting your eyes from anyone else), how the Leaf ninja had changed his perspective on life, how addicted he was to ramen. Your head spun with it all, especially when they used what you suspected were special shinobi words from their lexicon.
“And he was trained by Jiraiya,” You said, awed. “The same Jiraiya who wrote the Icha Icha series?”
“That’s the one,” Temari twirled her fork with sarcasm, head in her palm. 
“This is all so incredible …” You said.
“Really?” Gaara said. “Is that so?”
“It’s a shame I can never meet him …” You said solemnly. “If things had turned out differently, he would be coming to the wedding as well — I could even get a signed copy!”
“The world is so cruel.” Temari feigned sadness.
Gaara wore an expression you had come to know when he was deep in thought. “I could get Naruto to arrange something, regardless.”
“Really?” You said as Temari choked on her drink.
“Gaara, no,” she said.
“No, no.” You echoed her sentiments, albeit for a different reason. “You’ve done enough for me.”
Blingblingbling. A series of metallic sounds blared as machines blazed their dispensers with coins. Gaara furrowed his brows. You could tell he was not fond of the hotel’s busy atmosphere, the endless commotion — not to mention the cigarette smoke.
“Let’s go to our rooms,” You said. “It’s getting late.”
Gaara perked. “Really? If you don’t mind …”
“Not at all.” You faced Temari. “Right, Temari?”
“I could get a break from the beach,” Temari said, waving the smoke away. “And the smoke.”
The three of you took the elevator back to the room floors and traipse the hallways, looking for your respective rooms. 
“Thanks for saving me back there, by the way,” Temari said, cupping a hand over her mouth conspiratorially. 
You chuckle. “You don’t have to thank me.”
“I’m sorry for the way I acted in general,” Temari said. “I’ve been meaning to apologize, actually. I was hard on you. But … Gaara’s my little brother and all, I’m sure you understand.”
“Absolutely,” You said. “Something tells me my …” You fought a stutter in your throat. “… brother would have done the same for me.”
Hideo would always be the gnawing pang at your heart. You realized that as you approached the knob to admit you and Gaara into the room.
You turned the knob — 
Crying. Wails.
You gasped. “Who is that?”
The three of you looked to the corner of the hallway — the source of the sound — where Kankuro was rounding, tears streaking his makeup. 
“Kankuro?” You said. 
“What’s happened?” Gaara said with startling authority.
“I’ve …” He sank to his knees in the hallway. “I lost so much money!”
“Oh, no!” You cupped your mouth. 
“It’s those damn scheming geezers!” Kankuro cried, throwing his hand, tears wobbling down his face. “They cheated me, saw me coming from a mile away!”
“I told you not to get cocky if you were gonna gamble!” Temari said. “Now look at you!”
You and Gaara chuckled at the sight and each goodnight to them, but you were sure neither of them heard you over Kankuro’s crying and Temari’s yelling.
The next day, the blue of the sky was forced to contend with the weak wispy clouds breezing past, shielding and unveiling the sun at their leisure.
You admired them as you emerged from underneath the water. The sky enveloped your vision, and for a second you were sure you had been transported to heaven before Gaara broke you from your reverie:
“You’re advancing fast,” he praised, stationery in the water beside you.
You swerved, so you were across one another. “That’s because I have such a good teacher.”
Gaara smiled wordlessly as you initiated your novice backstroke. The irony of the Kazekage of Sunagakure teaching you how to swim was not at all lost on you. Chuuyou had worried about you being so far from his watchful eye, but you had insisted he keep more of a distance.
“My Lady,” he had said, his soft tone cut with an imploring edge, “I encourage you to reconsider.”
“I’m fine, Chuuyou.” You did your best to curb your annoyance, but it came out as a hiss, anyway. He’s just doing the job Father assigned him. “I would just like a little space. Please?”
And he had started giving it to you, no matter how unwillingly. You didn’t want Chuuyou so close; he was such a reminder of Father, of your real reason for being with Gaara and his siblings. You wanted all reminders gone. You wanted to fall into the dream.
Now, you couldn’t see Chuuyou anywhere on the beach. A pinch of anxiety previously holding your chest hostage released, relaxed into nothingness. 
You splashed Gaara with water, giggling. “Race you to the shore!”
And Gaara, once again, didn’t answer; his answer came in the sound of him trading water with precision and speed. He was strong, much stronger than he looked, although you were not ignorant of the faint trace of muscle his lean form possessed. 
He beat you, of course. He helped you from the water, the beach waves dispensing their white suds around your ankles. 
“Oh!” You looked over the faint red burn forming on Gaara’s skin. 
“Hm, I see.” He inspected his arms, which bore a few red spots. “I forgot.”
“You have to be more careful! Come here.” You took his hand, leading him back to the mismatched collection of beach towels you had secured on the beach. “I’ll put some on you.”
Kankuro and Temari were mysteriously missing. While you were sure Kankuro was engrossed in a life-or-death rematch with the old men who had swindled him the night before, you were not entirely sure what was keeping Temari.
You suspected, maybe, she was willingly leaving you alone with Gaara, who you hadn’t had a quiet moment with since only the gods know when. Unless, of course, you took the night before into consideration. For at least thirty minutes, you had pretended to sleep, pretended to not be aware of Gaara’s loving gaze on you in the dim tangerine light of the hotel room, only for him to fall asleep and you to turn the tables on him, staring at him semi-darkness with a racing heart you were hopeless to still. He had not even touched you; the only words he had exchanged after you had traded your beach clothes in for some pajamas had been a simple, hospitable goodnight, and still you couldn’t take your mind off of the intimacy of it all. Despite the two beds, despite everything. 
Now, you were squeezing sunscreen into your hand, ready to massage it into his skin?
Gaara resisted. “You don’t have to,” he insisted. 
You rubbed the cream together with your hands. “It’s all right, I don’t want you to get hurt — the sun is really intense.”
You ignored the way your heart skipped at the idea of massaging his bare skin. 
I’m helping him, that’s all …
Gaara acquiesced. He closed his eyes when your hands fell on him. The sunscreen cooled underneath your palms as they made a trail down his arm. 
“I’m usually more careful than this,” he said as you leaned in to address the arm across you. “It must have skipped my mind.”
You didn’t answer; your mouth went dry as you preoccupied yourself with how smooth and soft his skin felt under your fingers, like refined virgin marble. It was as though he had never been touched by another living soul in all his life. You felt blessed, honored. 
A low rumble escaped Gaara’s throat as you leaned farther, the plush of your breast sinking into his arm and you jerked away, conscious of it. 
You’re just helping …
“Does it feel … okay?” You asked.
“It does.”
Gaara leaned his head away so that you could massage into his neck, where your fingers brushed against the nape of his neck, felt the slightest indication of soft red hair beneath your fingernail. The slight of red hair under your fingers — you wanted to thread them in his forest of hair, before transferring to his chest. You could feel the ghosts of muscle you detected earlier, hard and … and steady. Gaara sat back to give you more access, but it only encouraged you to admire him more; the cliff of his jaw and, eyes trailing down even further, his lips …
Helping.
Your finger grazed one of his nipples, and Gaara flinched underneath the touch. He cracked an eye open at you, but you refused to meet it, pretending it didn’t happen by moving next to his back, lathering the span of it with sunscreen. 
“There.” Your mouth was so parched the word almost didn’t form. “You should be all … set.”
You noticed the thoughtful, intense look Gaara was giving you. Your throat constricted, feeling more exposed than he was under his attention. If this was an Icha Icha novel, you knew he would lean forward, cup the back of your head and …
“Thank you,” Gaara’s voice was light.
You only nodded. You curled sinful hands in your lap, the sensation of Gaara’s skin tingling yours. 
“… Excuse me?”
You were grateful for the distraction as your head turned to the source of the new little voice. 
A little boy had crept toward the two of you on the beach, but he was staring at Gaara.
“… Are you th — the … Kazekage?”
Gaara turned to you for help and you sighed.
“The jig is up, I suppose,” You muttered to him. 
“It’s true then?” the boy perked up in anticipation of Gaara’s answer.
Clearly emboldened, some of the boy’s other friends and playmates came to his side, waiting.
Gaara smiled and after a brief pause, “Yes. I am.”
Murmurs of amazement. 
“Cool!” the boy said. “Can you show us some stuff?”
The kids crowded Gaara with their strung-out “pleases” and adorable pleading.
You leaned to whisper to Gaara, “Do it!”
He smiled before turning his attention to the beach. Sand began to stir and move, and you were glad the beach itself was much less crowded, with only the children doodling there, because sand began to rise and churn. Gaara grew sand structures on the beach. You furrowed your brows, following his vision as the sand morphed and solidified into …
Gaara had raised a giant sandcastle, complete with terraces and a drawbridge which plopped onto the beach floor to admit everyone.
The children rushed to the castle to admire it. 
“Wow …” You gawked, entering into it. “It’s like a dollhouse!” 
“Temari and Kankuro used to ask me to make things with sand all the time,” Gaara said as the children took your entering for clear permission and began to flood the castle. 
Slides rolled down from spaces in the railings, little windows above the balustrades cut squares of sunlight for the perfect game of hopscotch. An atrium admitted invited more sunlight. 
You giggled as they ran and played. 
“This is amazing!” The little boy said, swinging on makeshift monkey bars. He plopped down and approached Gaara. “I wanna be just like you when I grow up, Lord Kazekage.”
Gaara looked stunned, before recovering with a gentle smile. “I hope everyone enjoys themselves …”
An hour or so passed while the two of you played with the children. Gaara constructed kaiju out of the stand and, having taken lessons from Kankuro, puppeteered them into fights as the children cheered on their favorites. Children took turns on the slides, falling into a giant whirlpool Gaara made. He encouraged you to go last, and your laughter turned to screams as you were propelled into the air and caught by Gaara’s forgiving sand.
“I want a castle just like this when we marry.” You admired the sandcastle from the outside as children tired themselves out around you. The sun had intensified, bringing with it a heat to parch your mouth dry.
You waited for Gaara’s interjection, but when he stayed quiet, you turned to him, only to see his attention was away from the beach, near a rise of obsidian rocks.
“I think there’s a cave over there,” Gaara said.
“I’ve never seen a cave before …” You said.
He turned to you. “Would you like to?”
You smiled. “What about the —?”
“I think they’re more than occupied.” Gaara gestured to the children still running and playing in and out of the sandcastle. “They won’t miss us.”
You smiled, nodded. “Let’s go.”
Rocks erected and curved like crescent moons to protect its own private island; a lagoon. 
The two of you swam to explore, the way led by the sounds of seagulls and rushing waves. Gaara chaperoned you, but you swam without aid until the two of you came to the rocky shore. 
You raised yourself from the waters by grabbing a rock for purchase, Gaara not far behind.
“I knew it,” You said triumphantly.
A small alcove indicated a cave not far off. 
“Let’s go in!” You said, any and all fear you might have had to explore such a place dulled by the fact Gaara was with you. “I’ve got to find some souvenirs for this trip.”
“All right, then,” Gaara obliged.
The cave’s ceiling cast shadows over the water. A hole in its rocky ceiling created a natural spotlight at its center. Color winked in your periphery, hinting at aquatic flowers accosted by the rolling waters, and you wondered if you could find petals lost in the water.
“This is amazing,” You said. “It’s like earth meeting water.” You twirled in the water to see Gaara admiring you thoughtfully. You became self-conscious. Nerves constricted your speech. “What’s wrong?”
 “Nothing,” Gaara muttered as he inched closer. “You are very brave; you try new things all the time.”
You stilled — only to remember your imperative to stay moving in the water. He called me brave. You weren’t so sure. You only had the nerve to explore because you were aided by the Kazekage. But still, you opened your mouth, only to close it again; never had anyone ever complimented you on anything other than your “beauty.” You struggled to receive it.
Am I brave? How would I know …?
“I would like to thank you, (Y/n),” Gaara went on, cradling your name in his deep, dulcet tone. “You’ve done nothing but smile since the moment you came to my village. It must have been difficult to come here, all things considered … So, thank you.”
You were silent. His warm words blanketed you. It had been hard. Frightening. Everything was foreign. Nothing felt like home. And there was the weight of your — you swallowed — mission. What was this ability Gaara had to make you feel so seen? Now exposed, not undressed, but … read. Appreciated. Lovingly studied. Annotated. 
You became struck with the intimacy of the cave; it was only you and Gaara. You were so far from shore. The scene was beginning to soften, its edges watercoloring until it seemed more dream than reality. The water had to rival the peaceful turquoise of Gaara’s eyes as you became lost in them. 
He caressed your cheek so gingerly you flinched at the hand you hadn’t seen rise.
“I would … like to try something. Is that all right?”
Your mouth refused to form words; you nodded your consent.
Gaara’s other hand came to rest against your hip, steadying you in water as he had done in air. He leaned toward you, into you. You blinked water from your lashes, frozen everywhere else. You were in a dream:
Gaara’s lips brushed against yours.
His kiss was gentle, virgin, but you felt the soft plant of his lips on your own, and your soul departed from your flesh despite its lack of violence. Your eyes fluttered close, your hands resting on his shoulders.
Centuries later, Gaara moved away. You opened your eyes to see him nestled among the stars clouding your vision.
“I’ve …” Gaara lowered his gaze. “I’ve never kissed anyone before.”
You struggled to recover. If you were speechless before, he had managed to eviscerate your vocabulary, your mental library set ablaze. Your heart was a hummingbird trapped in your chest. “Li — likewise …”
Gaara looked up, concerned. “Was it okay?”
You shook your head — until you realized you would have to couple it with words to assuage his concern. “No, no! It was — Gaara … it was amazing.”
Gaara smiled. “… I was worried. Thank you for letting me kiss you.”
You returned his smile. “Thank you for the souvenir.”
You were plopped back into reality, with the sea and the salt and the seagulls singing their songs overhead. An awkward silence punctured it all. You simply stared at him. And stared and stared and stared.
He grazed a hand over your wet forearm. “Would you like to do it again —?”
“Yes …” You said before he could finish, wrapping arms around him. 
“Gaara! (Y/n)!”
It was Kankuro’s voice, far away, yet loud enough to dispel the dream entirely.
“Is that …?” Gaara trailed.
“Gaara!”
You broke away from him. “We should head back — there might be trouble.”
Gaara didn’t object, following you out. You could detect the significant dots of Temari and Kankuro on the shore as you two returned. 
“What’s going on?” You said as you and Gaara emerged from the water. 
Kankuro’s thousand-yard stare was your only reply. “I’ve done it,” he said quietly. “I’ve finally done.”
“What, Kankuro?” Gaara asked. 
Kankuro thrust something in your faces. You fixed eyes on it. A medallion the color of the sun stared back. 
You gasped. “But that’s —!”
“One of the old geezers won it off a pirate years back!” Kankuro said triumphantly.
“He begged me to help him beat the guys at the table,” Temari exclaimed, arms crossed. “How much is it, anyway?”
“Temari,” Kankuro deadpanned, “it’s worth thousands.”
Temari’s gasp echoed yours, as though she were doused with cold water —
“I take back everything I ever said about you, Kankuro!” Temari said, fingers knitted and stars in her eyes. 
“That’s a once in a lifetime, I bet!” You said. “I’ve only seen one of those things once in my entire life.”
“Who would bet something this valuable in a game of cards?” Temari said. “Men are so reckless —“
“Congratulations, Kankuro!” Gaara said. “We knew you could do it.”
“Me, too,” Kankuro spun the coin with his thumb and caught it, satisfied with himself. 
“Me, too,” Temari patted him on the back. “Now you can help pay off the Sand’s debt!”
It was a second before Kankuro realized what Temari was saying — and then the crying and begging began.
“So, you two been up to much?” Temari said. She eyed the giant sandcastle of Gaara’s making and the kids who had turned it into their personal playground, all while ignoring Kankuro’s crying in the background. She raised her brows. “Ah, I see. Anything else?”
Neither you nor Gaara answered. A few seconds ticked by before Temari blanched.
“Nothing much,” Gaara said finally.
You kept eyes on your toes, hoping the red on your face could be excused for the beach heat.
Gaara watched you return to his hotel room, saltwater washed from your hair, sighing. Kankuro sat on one of the couches, grumbling and cradling his precious coin to his chest, while Temari lounged on another, drink in hand.
“Those kids must’ve had a field day,” Temari said. “It was sweet of you to do that, Gaara.”
“It was (Y/n)’s idea, actually,” Gaara corrected. Warmth spread over him as he remembered the parents coming to collect their children, their little hands raised in farewell as they called it a day. He had decided to leave the sandcastle where it was, however, so they might play another day.
“It was your expertise,” You said, patting your damp hair with the towel. “Just hopin’ those families will keep us being here a secret.”
Gaara watched you inquisitively.
“It’s the least they can do,” Kankuro said sullenly, kicking his feet on an ottoman, fuzzy slippers dangling from its edge. “We built them a freakin’ fast food playground for free.” His face softened. “They did look real cute out there, though. And playtime is important.”
“I’m sure they will!” You settled into a chair. “It must’ve taken a great deal of chakra control, as well!” 
Temari paused. “You know about chakra?”
“Of course I do,” You said, waving her off.
“No, you don’t.”
The room paused. Heads turned to Gaara. 
You tilted your head at him. “What do you mean?”
Gaara didn’t answer. He raised from his chair. He fished a shuriken from his pocket and threw it —
It pierced the flesh of your throat.
“Gaara —!” Temari and Kankuro yelled in unison.
You clutched your throat and Gaara waited for blood. There was no blood.
You poofed away.
“A clone!” Kankuro shot from his chair.
“We need to find her,” Gaara said. “Now.”
The violent colors of the sunset bled into the horizon; burnt oranges and crimsons drowned the sky. You hugged knees to your chest as the suds of waves kissed your feet. 
Your fingers were touched to the skin of your lips. 
He had kissed you. Gaara, the Kazekage, had kissed you, and he had wanted to do it again.
He wanted you. It was clear. You wanted him.
And yet you lied to him.
It was not like you had imagined. Nothing about this trip to Sunagakure was, but this … was especially off-kilter. You had imagined a filthy, detached nightly tryst. Your yukata torn from your body by feverish hands as the Kazekage ravaged you — not asking, only taking. And, after defiling you and drifting to sleep, you would unwind your treacherous necklace from your neck and drip poison into his snoring mouth …
It was what your father had intended and what you had expected.
Instead … The ghost of Gaara’s hand tingled your hip, and his gentle kiss had imprinted itself on your lipskin. So sweet, so …
You searched the horizon. Hideo, what do I do? What would you have me do?
Did it matter if you chose to remove yourself from your father’s plan? Gaara is exactly who you would’ve wanted for me, Hideo. You were still lying. Even if your father came and killed you for being a traitor, you would still be lying … No. It was more than that. That was skin deep. The shame went deeper to puncture veins and bone. You were the lie. A pretty wife for the Kazekage, come to make peace. Come to destroy it.
You stood, nausea wobbling your step, and wretched your necklace from your neck. 
Your necklace was a lie, too. 
A weapon.
Did it matter if, in your madness, you had decided to hang on to it to protect Gaara, or yourself, if the time came? You stumbled, eyes returning to the horizon.
You would throw it into the sea and let the water devour it. 
The pendant of it sat in your palm, cool against your skin. Your hand made a fist around it, ready to —
A force at your side. You collapsed to the ground. The necklace flew from your hands. Your side exploded with pain. Something wove to restrict your hands behind your back.
You cried out, groaning with pain and barely able to register it before harsh hands yanked on your constricted wrists. They hoisted you to your feet by something — someone.
You screamed — only for a hand to clasp to your mouth.
“You’re quite the prize. I’ll admit that at least,” said a voice in your ear, low and masculine. “And in more ways than one. I can only imagine what Lord Boutoku will trade for you.”
You struggled as you were dragged backwards, the beach shore growing smaller. 
No. Nonononono.
Someone had found out, someone had found you —
A blast from behind you and the hands holding you were gone. You stumbled to remain standing. You turned around to see your captor crash on the beach floor.
“Get away from her!”
You turned. Temari — fan unfolded at her side — and Kankuro were running toward you. Gaara mysteriously absent, but your eyes searched for him, nevertheless.
Temari took you in her arms before maneuvering you behind her. Your captor was on his feet now, knife-weapon in hand.
“Heh,” the guy smirked. “I can take you two.”
Kankuro’s matching smirk was deadlier. “What about three?”
Sand pooled, tentacled, and shot forward to grab your captor. It hoisted the man in the air as he screamed. It bound his arms and legs.
Your eyes widened as sand cocooned him. “What in the world —?”
Sssssssss…
You frowned, concentrating on the sound. A snake? No … Sand rustled. You turned to see something rising on the beach. It emerged slowly, taking on the image of a man — it was a man. 
Gaara.
Gaara’s image solidified to become flesh and bone, hair and skin and clothing.
“Gaara …” You were relieved — until you felt the rage radiating from him. 
Even from where the man lay trapped, towering in the air, you could see the color leave his face.
“The — the Kazekage …!”
“You knew Lord Boutoku’s daughter was here, but not the Kazekage?” Kankuro mocked. He clicked his tongue. “You’re even dumber than you look.”
“Explain yourself,” Gaara ordered.
“H — Hey.” The man trembled in the sand’s death grip. “I didn’t know — I’m sorry, okay? I — I take it back. I never would’ve hurt the girl, all right? I only wanted —“
“Your prize?” Gaara’s voice was low, his stare hardening. “And what if she hadn’t given you the information you wanted?”
A deceptive curl of sand wrapped around the man’s throat like a python. You turned back to Temari and Kankuro, who were watching with detached amusement.
“I — I only wanted money, okay! That’s all!” 
Temari feigned a coo. “Aww. You’ll be getting a bit more than that now, I’m afraid.” 
“You’re a disgrace …” Murder lived in Gaara’s eyes. 
Sand constricted, crushed, concealing your captor’s tremors as he screamed in terror. The amusement was gone from Temari and Kankuro, replaced with a growing concern.
“Gaara!” Kankuro said, inching closer. “C’mon. Don’t. It’s not worth it.”
“Gaara!” Temari hissed. “I thought you were only going to scare him, don’t tell me you —?”
“Gaara.” Your voice was small among the screaming and the perennial rustling of sand and your rapid heart in your ears. “Please, don’t. Please … it’s all right.”
Gaara’s hand flinched beside him, as though desperately resisting the urge to clench it. His glare did not leave the man he threatened to kill.
“Please …” You pleaded softly. 
Gaara tore himself away from the scene, stalking away.
The sand lost its shape and crashed like water downward. The man plummeted to the ground. You yelped as a sickening crack sounded through the beach, and then silence. It was only until you saw the man rise from his place, one leg making up for the mangled other, were you able to breathe again. He was alive.
But barely.
Sand and Oasis ninja flooded the hotel. You felt bad for the other clientele, who were looking around for answers and found few. 
Your captor had, apparently, heard about your staying at the hotel and, once getting a glimpse of you at the beach, had created a clone of you to fool everyone. Afterward, it was only a means of finding you alone to make a move. He had been carded away and, despite the horrible crack you’d heard, had only managed to break literally an arm and a leg. Nothing more. Until more information was known, the guests were either encouraged to leave or sequester themselves in their rooms. 
The rogue had managed, in the fray of the vacation, to fool even Chuuyou. Who, you had a feeling, would be glued to you even more than before from now on.
You were fine. Slightly shaken, and your side still screamed with pain if you grew too bold, but otherwise fine, your necklace having been returned to you by Temari to weigh you down like an anvil. You were more concerned for Gaara, who had not spoken a word to anyone since walking off the beach. He lingered in the corner of the lobby. He said nothing to no one. 
“I am so, so very sorry for this.” The hotel owner bowed profusely in the lobby, over and over, as the situation resolved. “The family of the Kazekage, please … Whatever we can do to rectify this horrific event — please accept my apologies, oh gods, oh oh oh —“
“It’s all right,” Kankuro said soberly, attention clearly elsewhere. You had never seen him so serious. He shook his head at Temari. “You were right. Damn, I’ve been reckless …”
“No, Kankuro.” Temari petted him on the shoulder. “It’s all right; it wasn’t just your responsibility —”
“No,” Kankuro swatted her away, “it’s not all right. I am the Kazekage’s guard. Imagine what could’ve happened?”
Temari was quiet, face soured by the multitude of ugly possibilities. A strange knowing pulsed the air, passing between the two of them and excluding you.
You recalled their faces. At first, Temari and Kankuro had been derisive, hardly bothered at all by Gaara’s rage. As though they had witnessed it a million times. It had startled you. Only later, when it seemed Gaara would kill him, did they move to stop him … 
But something gnawed at you, like a mosquito stabbing for blood, refusing to be ignored. The way Gaara’s sand had curled up around your captor. The cocoon. How ready it was to envelope him, seal him away.
A sand burial. 
… Wasn’t that what Father had called it in his letter? … 
… Where had he gotten that terminology?
Something gross and lingering layered over you like the remnants of a bad dream, like snake-skin. It crawled up your skin. For a split second, you imagined Hideo in the man’s place, and the need to retch sent you grappling at the back of a chair.
Hadn’t Joseki tried to warn you, tried to stop you? 
What if he had good reason?
Seas could not contain the blood that boy has shed.
No. It didn’t make sense — nothing made sense.
You had so many questions and no way to get them. Gaara had moved to protect you. A warm sense of comfort sat beside the gross feeling.
Gaara, kind, loving, his villagers loved him, his siblings loved him, he was kind to you, had kissed you — 
And yet, you couldn’t reconcile the murder you had seen in Gaara’s face, holding the man he was ready to kill (for you!!) in the air …
Dizzy, you steered yourself in a chair. 
It got Gaara’s attention. “Are you all right, (Y/n)?” 
You startled at the sound of his voice. “Ye — Yes, I’m fine …”
Gaara studied you. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”
“No,” You lied, side sore and aching for Epsom salts.
“Are you sure?”
His voice was gentle. You looked up at him, noted the concern in his face, those lips you had kissed only hours ago. Looking into his eyes ignited a storm inside you. It shouldn’t have been possible to feel so much just by the mere sight of someone. 
Did you kill Hideo, Gaara?
“Yes.”
“We’re not staying,” Kankuro told the hotel owner. “We’re too vulnerable here. Too confined.”
“I understand,” the owner said. “If there’s anything I can do … Anything at all …”
The desert was quiet. The four of you were on your way back to Suna. The emergency tents from the carriages had been risen and now sat like tiny pyramids in the starry night.
You snuck away from yours, coming out from its flap into the chilly desert air, such a stark contrast to the heat during the day. Gaara’s tent sat adjacent to yours, a soft orange candlelight emanating from its slit. It was long into the night before Gaara’s shadow could no longer be seen flickering on the tent’s cloth walls. Somehow, he had found sleep.
You didn’t know what you were doing or why. Despite Gaara being the last person you should want to see, all you wanted was to be near him, as though the truth you couldn’t piece together would show on his face. 
Barefoot, you carried yourself toward Gaara’s tent. The breeze swept the hem of your robe. A flicker in your periphery startled you.
Chuuyou stood by your tent. He met your eye.
You froze.
He nodded to you and stared out into the desert, as though he had seen nothing.
A shared secret. Understanding.
He’s thinks I’m going to kill Gaara. A chill trickled your spine.
Something about Chuuyou’s reaction made the plan so … real. Others were waiting on you. They would act. What would happen after it was done? Would the Oasis ninja ambush the other tents, attempt to kill Temari and Kankuro? Would there be a full scale battle right in the middle of nowhere as your ninja stole you away and took you back to the village? The chill within rivaled the chill without.
You shook it off, attempted to chip away at the reality of it. We’re in the middle of the desert. It would be foolish to do it now — even if I was going to. Doesn’t he see that? You crept into Gaara’s tent. 
He slept on his slip of a bed on the floor, face peaceful in the candlelight. Quiet, save for the slight crunch of your bare feet on the sandy ground. 
How could he sleep after everything that had happened? A better question: what were you doing here? Did you want to talk to Gaara, hoping there would be some way you could bring up Hideo’s death without seeming suspicious, accusatory? But you had no plan, and he was asleep. And now here you were, standing over him in the night.
You remembered how Gaara had told you about his heavy sleeping. In another world, this would be the moment. You would simply slip the poison from the necklace into his mouth and be done with it. No more confusion. It would be done, your tight-roping act over and done with. 
You wouldn’t have to wonder anymore. A decision would have been made. You would just have to live with yourself. But could you live with yourself? 
The mental torture, and the desire to free yourself from it, sent your hand to your necklace. You trailed fingers to the back of it, to detach it.
You stood witness to his sleeping form. He slept the way he had when he was surrounded by his plants. How sweet his hobby was, how he had endeared himself to you. The statue of Karura. How gorgeous he was then, how gorgeous he was now … 
In your madness, Hideo’s voice morphed with your father’s: Do it. Avenge me. Avenge me.
You studied his face but found no answers there.
You leaned over him, as though the answers you sought after were an inch or so away —
“(Y/n)?”
You startled. Temari’s head had poked through the slit of the tent.
“What are you doing in here?”
You froze. In that moment, you knew exactly what it looked like: you, deviously bent over her baby brother, about to do only the gods knew what. Your mind spun for an excuse.
In that moment, you saw a slim change in Temari’s expression — Concern? Anger? Suspicion? 
Before it could change, Gaara roused. A groan rumbled in his throat. “What’s happened?” he asked groggily. 
He propped up. Your eyes flickered from him to Temari.
“I — I couldn’t sleep,” You said, not technically a lie. “I wanted to sleep with Gaara tonight.”
Gaara sat up in bed.
“What?” Temari was blushing.
“I’m … still so rattled by what happened …” You went on, using your actual nerves to amplify the effects of your lie-not-lie. I’m such a mess. “I’d feel safer if I …”
“That’s fine,” Gaara said.
“Gaara,” Temari said, scandalized. “Are — are you sure?”
“It makes sense that (Y/n) would be uncomfortable alone after what happened.” Gaara moved aside to make room for you on the futon. “We’ll be husband and wife soon enough as it is. It’s only natural we begin sleeping together.”
Gaara seemed to avoid your eye, the weight of the day’s events an uncomfortable one. As if on cue, you slipped into the futon to be beside him, making a mental side note of the warmth flooding you immediately after.
“Well —” Temari stammered. “A — All right. As long as …” She paused; considering what came after as was too horrifying to think about. “Good night!” 
You blushed; of course her mind would go to when she had found the two of you on the beach, the unspoken words to explain what you had been up to. She zipped the tent back up, leaving the two of you alone.
You laid down, exhaled a long breath. Gaara’s presence beside you was immense.
“I am … sorry,” he said. “For today. This is not how I wanted things to go.”
“It’s all right. I’m not as fragile as you think.” You balled a fist under the pillow. “I’m sure shinobi see far worse.”
“It’s no use comparing yourself to us; we are trained to face violence and be somewhat desensitized to it,” Gaara said. “I don’t expect you to be. Do you want to talk about it?”
This was the Gaara you had come to know, but what about the one from earlier? There were two Gaaras in your mind.
“No,” You assured softly. “I’m fine.”
“I understand …” You detected a bit of disappointment in Gaara’s voice. “Sleep now, then. We’ll be back in the village by the afternoon.”
You obeyed without meaning to. Exhaustion won out against your anxieties. The moment your eyes closed, you were asleep.
In the morning, you would wake up with your hand in Gaara’s, having reached for it in the night.
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Aita for ignoring phone calls/texts from a desperate friend?
Hey guys, this is an ongoing event in my life and I’m sure that by the time this is posted, it’ll be over, but for now I need to know if I’m the asshole
My buddy “Brandon” (17M) and I (19M) met a couple months ago when he started working at the restaurant I work at. I’m a Host and he’s a Busser, but I trained him and honestly think of him as a little brother. Brandon’s a super hard worker and even though he’s dropped out of high school, he’s determined to make something of his life
He’s engaged already to his girlfriend “Shannon” (19F) and has plans to adopt her baby after she gets out of her navy bootcamp stint. Brandon’s home life is awful/nonexistent at the moment. Grew up in a home with 8 adopted siblings and was surrendered to the state a month or so before we met. Having his girlfriend and him be so close is probably why he’s still on the straight and narrow. Currently, he’s been living with the youth pastor for his church and life’s been good.
Well, then it wasn’t. Brandon and Shannon hit a rough patch in their relationship and almost broke up, but then it worked out. Unfortunately, Brandon didn’t mention that they worked it out to his foster parents and that’s when the youth pastor went off the deep end. He accused Brandon of lying to him and “putting Shannon in place of God in his heart” and said to break up with Shannon or move out.
Brandon told me and started sharing the details of his life with me. He’s talked to our managers about it, talked to friends about it, talked to the families of his adopted siblings that technically aren’t his siblings anymore, and he picked Shannon. He now has until the end of the week to find somewhere else to live
I live at home with my parents while I go to college and my father (who’s an asshole) has said that Brandon Cannot stay here, but he did call around his friends to see if their sons have spots in their apartments. Unfortunately, we’ve heard nothing so far and it’s getting bad
Brandon also can’t stay with Shannon because they both have a bad relationship with Shannon’s parents and she’s about to ship out to boot camp. It’s bad.
I feel awful for not being able to help more, especially after I’ve offered so much help and it all falling through. By the end of the week, the youth pastor is sending Brandon to a homeless youth shelter that takes phones and doesn’t let kids have jobs (even though Brandon is technically an adult in our state, he can’t afford to live on his own)
Brandon’s been calling me all day (it’s two days before the ultimatum) and I’m so busy with college and work and personal things with my dad having cancer and my sister going on vacation last minute and I just- I just can’t keep up with all of it. I want to be there for him, I really do, but my head is spinning and my emotions are burning out
Am I the asshole for ghosting him right now?
What are these acronyms?
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drdemonprince · 5 months
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Thank you for talking about the ills of isolation and withdrawing during a moment where we need collective action, whatever that may look like for each one of us.
I have been thinking a lot about how I want to belong to groups who are doing things I care about and what gets in the way of that goal. A huge difficulty I have as an autistic woman and a woc in a small town in a white majority country is that often even with people whose politics I broadly agree with, there is a lot of interpersonal unease and irritation to get through. This is probably sometimes as much my fault as theirs. But sometimes it's stuff like people openly rolling their eyes at my name (too foreign and hard apparently) or me finding some of the things they say awful (a queer rights group still being racist for example) or just finding people annoying to be around at times.
How do I show up in these spaces and create a community without burning out from annoyance/disappointment/the everyday alienation of it all? Surely moving to a big city cannot be a practical answer when it's not affordable? And surely there must be a way to be honest about my politics and stand up for myself and still be in halfway progressive spaces that are doing good work and are best options right now in terms of proximity and impact? My parents' answer (different generation, country, culture) was always keep your head down and stay out of difficult things like organizing. I am tired of living like that. But I also feel I am too angry and too unfit to deal with the everyday reality of what people are like to be able to part of movements. The alternative though is to having a panic attack while reading the news and sink into despair and helplessness which sucks. Am I missing an obvious way out here? As always, very grateful to you for your wisdom and clarity on living uncowered.
Thank you so much for your wonderful message and question. I am admittedly a little out of my depth in some ways in answering this, I feel, as a white person and a man who people don't tend to subject to the worst of the kind of treatment that you're speaking to. (What I do get is people thinking that expressing the prejudices will be acceptable to me, which I have the responsibility to shut down as often as humanly possible, so that spaces don't have a such a dogshit culture and alienate tons of people like you).
I think you do really have to look over your own bandwidth, and determine for you what is tolerable and what isn't. As a trans person, there are slightly "off" little comments that I'll accept from someone who isn't well versed in the topic, and differences in how elders talk and think about gender that I'll tolerate bemusedly, but if it ventures into any area that makes the space explicitly hostile to trans people who are more vulnerable than me, then it's something I need to fight about or I need to abandon the space.
For a woman of color like yourself, I think that kind of decision making is a lot more fraught, because frankly I never have to worry about anybody really escalating their bullshit with me too badly, and they'll want to forget it pretty quickly after the conflict even if I do challenge them.
(This propensity towards midwest nicey-ness / white person fake nicey-ness can sometimes be leveraged to win a battle or two -- when I have obviously, unquestionably shut down someone's ignorance or read them for filth diplomatically for making a really dumb point, often the other person's impulse is to backtrack and make nice or pretend that what they said never happened, while also never doing it again in my presence, and in plenty of situations, that's plenty good enough. I have seen this kind of maneuvering work for people of color too, especially in groups like churches, volunteer organizations, cultural affinity groups, and the like, where there is a strong bias towards everybody getting along...sometimes that awful cultural norm can be shifted to your advantage if you Make the Person Saying the Fucked Up Thing the Awkward One.)
I think a lot of what you'll have to do is discern between the groups where you can push back against the remarks and policies that are unacceptable to you but basically get along with well-enough intentioned people, and the groups where you will be singled out and treated poorly for speaking up or ever asserting yourself. It also really helps to befriend all the other people of color & neurodivergent people in the space early on into joining a group, so you have people to lean on and you can get their lay of the land.
I wish I had advice that was more targeted and immediately actionable, but I think a lot of this is a very subtle dance based on the community spaces you move within, your political goals, the people within the space, the norms within that space surrounding conflict, how many other poc are there, etc etc. You will probably have to try a couple of groups before you find one that is tolerable enough for you because a) the people arent That Fucked Up, and b) they can kind of handle conflict some of the time at least. Please don't be disheartened if things feel awkward or a few of your first tries have rancid vibes. You can also take steps to build the very community spaces that you want -- by reaching out to other people of color in the area and forming your own groups that can then partner with these kind of annoying white majority organizations. The autonomy is useful and may preserve some social and emotional spoons, but at the cost of having to do a lot of organizing work. So, tradeoffs.
Would love to hear in the comments from people of color who do organizing in non-urban areas and have to deal with a lot of white people nonsense.
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eyrieofsynapses · 1 year
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Hey, Leverage peeps. Y’know how Sophie is introduced playing Lady Macbeth in Shakespeare’s Macbeth? I (re)read the play recently for a class (yes, I'm a literature nerd who voluntarily takes classes involving Shakespeare, sue me), and it got me thinking.
Because, guys… there's definitely meaning behind that choice. Lady Macbeth's character is an ambitious and manipulative woman who pulls her husband's strings to gain power, only to be consumed be guilt. Sound familiar? Yeah. There’s a lot of parallels.
I'm guessing many of you haven't read the play, so I'll explain the bare bones of what you need to know for the meta. Macbeth is a play about a general/nobleman named, of course, Macbeth. At the beginning, he encounters three witches—they're the origin of the "double, double toil and trouble / fire burn and cauldron bubble" phrase—who prophesize that Macbeth will become king. Macbeth describes his encounter to his wife, Lady Macbeth, who coerces him into murdering the current King Duncan. They work together to kill Duncan, and Macbeth ascends to the throne. He has numerous other people killed to keep his throne safe.
(Trigger warning for suicide mention! Skip to the next paragraph if you don't want to read.) Both he and Lady Macbeth are consumed by guilt as the play goes on, though, and she goes more or less insane and eventually commits suicide. (Trigger warning over.)
If you've ever heard of "out, out, damned spot," that's Lady Macbeth agonizing over the metaphorical blood she can't get off her hands.
So, how does this work with Sophie? Here's the thing. Lady Macbeth is known as one of the characters, if not the character, that coined the "dangerously ambitious woman" trope. She's determined to secure Macbeth's position on the throne, mostly for the power it'll gain her as Queen, and she pulls his strings over and over to get him to murder his way there.
Sophie is, of course, a grifter. Her entire skillset is designed to manipulate people—oftentimes rich and powerful men—to get what she wants. She isn't necessarily ambitious so much as obsessed with stealing artwork and other valuables, but she enjoys the downfall of most of her marks. She luxuriates in the power of making people do what she wants them to.
And yet Lady Macbeth does eventually succumb to the guilt of everything she's done… just as Sophie comes to recognize and regret the pain she's wrought. Remember The King George Job?
"Nate: I know what you're thinking, but it's not the same thing.
Sophie: Oh, no. Of course it's not. I stole from one rich man to sell to another rich man.
Nate: No one got hurt.
Sophie: That I know of. How do I know that innocent children were never used to shift my merchandise?"
(transcript)
In the same scene, she also says this:
"Listen, I know I grifted from filthy-rich wankers who hardly ever missed the money, of being taken for a ride. But this, this whole Moreau business has got me thinking. Keller steals from the rich, too, and a little girl ends up in detainment for it."
She comes to recognize her past wrongdoings via the work she does with the crew, and at the same time begins to redeem herself for it. That prevents her from becoming consumed by guilt as Lady Macbeth does. The theme, however, remains consistent.
It's also fascinating that Sophie refers to Nate as a "white knight, black king" in the very same episode as her initial (awful) performance as Lady Macbeth. White is often associated with purity and innocence, thus implying a “pure knight.” Macbeth himself is a noble and well-respected "knight" (technically general and nobleman, but it follows the same concept) before Lady Macbeth coerces him into murdering King Duncan. This parallels neatly with Nate as a “pure knight,” or an “honest man” (as Macbeth was before the play began).
Then, of course, we have "black king." Black is a color frequently associated with sin, darkness, etc., and thus Macbeth could be seen as a "black king" himself: someone who has done great wrongs to reach his position of power. He’s turned into that “black king” by Lady Macbeth. Nate, meanwhile, is called the "black" chess king. He is metaphorically “corrupted”—arguably, by Sophie and the crew. (Of course, in Nate’s case, the “corruption” is a good thing and leads him to become a better person. But the parallel itself still stands.)
Chess is about strategy, manipulation, and cleverness. Sophie and Lady Macbeth are both very good at manipulating people into doing what they want them to for power's sake. Nate is often referred to as the master chess player, where "chess" is the metaphor for cons. Yet realistically, Sophie is the best at playing "chess" with people. Not to mention that the king is, in many ways, not a powerful piece. It can only move one square at a time, and if it's captured, its side loses. The queen is the most powerful piece on the chessboard. And here's Sophie, referring to Nate as a chess piece.
(There's something to be said here about how Sophie manipulates Nate both for his own good but also to her advantage, specifically in The First David Job and The Second David Job. But for the sake of keeping this meta at a reasonable length, I’ll leave it for now.)
"But Synapse!" I hear you cry. "Sophie's really bad at the Lady Macbeth speech in the first episode, but she's fantastic in the last one! If she became a better person, wouldn't it be the other way around?"
Fair point, friend, and it's something I've been trying to figure out myself. Here's my proposal:
I'm not an actor, but from what I understand, acting requires you to deeply empathize with your character. Conning isn't dissimilar, but in a way, Sophie knows that when she cons, it is not her. She's hiding everything she is for the sake of deception.
Regular acting, on the other hand, requires you to be exposed about yourself and who you are. You have to be willing to be vulnerable for your audience. And Sophie truly does not know how to be vulnerable, or indeed who she is at all. Of all the characters on Leverage, she's always been the most mysterious about her past and her true depths.
In The Nigerian Job, Sophie claims she's gone to a civilian life and dropped her grifting. She's questioning the very thing that she loves to do, uncertain of herself and where she's going with her life. Her ambition and drive have been, if not lost, undermined. We know that Sophie is a paradoxically compassionate and maternal person just as much as she is a master of the con. When she joins up with the crew, she near-immediately falls into a momfriend role to Parker, Hardison, and Eliot, and she’s an exceptional teacher.
Perhaps she struggles to find kinship in Lady Macbeth's motivation in that first episode. She can't act what she doesn't understand. Plus, she has no outlet for the side of her that desperately wants to do good, and maybe that’s showing through in her inability to embrace being bad.
But in The Long Goodbye Job, Sophie aces her performance when she's doing it for a con. Yet at that time she is arguably far less like Lady Macbeth than she is in the first episode. So what changes? What about the con makes it so much easier?
I'd say it's a few things. Firstly, Sophie's newfound stability. She knows who she is, and she knows that she is not Lady Macbeth. Her desire to teach and support others has a) been discovered and b) is being fulfilled. She's found that her love for manipulation is most satisfying when directed at people who are maliciously uncaring and contradictory to her own morals. Thus, the ways her personality overlaps with Lady Macbeth's can't be destabilized by Sophie's internal war over how much she really is like Lady Macbeth. She knows who she is, and she knows what parts of Lady Macbeth she can relate to and what parts she has to truly act out.
Moreover, she's acting for a con: she knows the character she's playing does not truly represent herself. Her mask is complete, rather than requiring pieces of herself to be exposed.
Compare Sophie's performance in The Nigerian Job to the part of Lady Macbeth's soliloquy she's attempting to recite (yes, I'll explain the bits of the soliloquy that I reference, don't worry):
"Sophie: Come, you spirits that tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here, and fill me from the crown to the toe top-full of direst! Make thick my blood;
Sophie: Stop up the access and passage to remorse, that no… (she hesitates and restarts her line) That no compunctious visitings of nature"
(transcript)
Versus the original soliloquy:
"Come, you spirits That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here, And fill me, from the crown to the toe, top-full Of direst cruelty! make thick my blood, Stop up th’ access and passage to remorse, That no compunctious visitings of nature Shake my fell purpose, nor keep peace between Th’ effect and it! Come to my woman’s breasts, And take my milk for gall, your murd’ring ministers, Wherever in your sightless substances You wait on nature’s mischief!"
(Macbeth, Act I, Scene V, lines 45-55; I’ve bolded the lines Sophie recites)
Note where Sophie trips up: she loses the word "cruelty" from "of direst cruelty" first, and then she hesitates on the lines "stop up the access and passage to remorse / that no compunctious visitings of nature / shake my fell purpose". If the latter line is gobbledygook to you, it basically means "stop me from feeling guilty so my guilt can't get in the way of my awful plans."
So where is Sophie hesitating? On the maliciousness of Lady Macbeth, and on her desire to feel no remorse. And what do we know about Sophie? That she is a) still inherently kind, and b) that she does feel remorse for the pain she's caused—or at least that she learns to feel it over the course of the show.
By the way, it's interesting that Lady Macbeth's bit about "take my milk for gall" is excluded too, because it's sort of like her saying "turn any motherly feelings/kindness I feel into cruelty." Compare that against Sophie's maternal attitude. It's probably not massively significant, given that there wasn’t a need for more than a couple lines for the writing of the show, but I find it interesting.
Now, compare this to Sophie's performance in The Long Goodbye Job:
"Sophie (wonderfully): Come, you spirits that tend on mortal thoughts, fill me from the crown to the toe, top-full of direst cruelty. Make thick my blood. Stop up the access and passage to remorse."
(transcript)
She's completely on-point. I'd say this is both because she's doing it for a con and doesn't feel internal conflict over it, but also because the marks deserve no mercy. The Black Book is full of people who have done awful things in the name of greed. Why should she feel guilt over dethroning them?
TL;DR: Sophie plays a character who simultaneously parallels and contradicts her. Lady Macbeth is manipulative and ambitious, much like Sophie, but also cruel and malicious, which is not very Sophie-like. Yet Lady Macbeth does eventually go crazy from guilt and remorse—and Sophie also has to learn how to deal with her guilt.
This is why Sophie struggles so much in her first performance: she’s questioning her identity in relationship to her similarities with Lady Macbeth. At the end, however, she’s become confident in who she is. She’s also learned to use her skills to destroy those who take advantage of their power to hurt others, rather than good men like King Duncan.
In fact, she’s dethroning people who are greedy for power… people who are not so dissimilar to Macbeth and Lady Macbeth themselves. Sophie has become their antithesis.
Damn, but this show is good.
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annon-guy2 · 2 months
Text
Guilty Gear X BlazBlue: BlazBlue Reactions to Heavenly Potemkin Buster
Here's what I think the BlazBlue cast would say in response to Potemkin's Heavenly Potenkin Buster Super in a hypothetical Guilty Gear X BlazBlue Game.
Ragna The Bloodedge
● "SHITTTTTTTT!"
● "GYAHHHHHHH!"
● "God damn muscle head!"
Jin Kisaragi
● "How could this happen!?"
● "AHHHHHHHHH!"
● "I can't use Yukianasa!?"
Noel Vermillion
● "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
● "Mother! Father!"
● "Please! Don't go through with THISSSSSSSSS!"
Rachel Alucard
● "How utterly barbaric of you!"
● "Remove your hands from me this instant, you savage!"
● "Gii! Nago! How dare you lead me into this!"
Taokaka
● "MEOOOOWWWWWWW!"
● "We're so high up, meow!"
● "Going up... and DOWWWWWNNNN!"
Iron Tager
● "You copied my Genesic Emerald Tager Buster!?"
● "Preparing for impact!"
● "For you to lift me up this high!?"
Litchi Faye-Ling
● "Where do you think you're grabbing!?"
● "Are you the reason my recnt patients have broken spines!?"
● "PLEASE NOOOOOOOO!"
Arakune
● "GYAHHHHHHHHHH!"
● "DANGER! DANGER! DANGERDANGERDANGER!!!"
● "Touching... the Azure Sky!"
Carl Clover
● "SISSSSSSSSSS!"
● "Put me dow...! NOT LIKE THISSSSSSSS!"
● "Sis! Get clear of the landing!"
Bang Shishigami
● "How could I make a simple mistake!?"
● "I can't break free!"
● "MASTERRRRRRRRR!"
Hakumen
● "I let my guard down!"
● "I got careless!"
● "Impossible!"
Nu-13
● "A fatal error."
● "Escape impossible."
● "Rag... na..."
Tsubaki Yayoi
● "Assulting an officer is a serious crime!"
● "We should be talking this OUTTTTTTTTT!"
● "N-no! Not like THISSSSSSSS!"
Hazama
● "H-Hey! Don't do this to MEEEEEEEEE!"
● "You wouldn't hurt a non-combatant, would you!?"
● "Yes... this will bring me a new sensation!"
Mu-12
● "I didn't anticipate this!"
● "Even the power of the Godslayer can't escape this!?"
● "I... I must endure this!"
Makoto Nanaya
● "I not a flying squirrel you know!"
● "HEY! Watch the tail!"
● "I wanted to fly, but not like this!"
Valkenhayn R. Hellsing
● "I've taken much worse than this!"
● "Tch! I must be losing my touch!"
● "Madam Rachel... please forgive my blunder!"
Platinum The Trinity
● Luna: "LET LUNA GO YOU PEDOOOOOO!"
● Sena: "Please let us go! This will break us!"
● Trinity: " P-please! Think of the children in this body!"
Relius Clover
● "Impressive strength! I must make a note of this!"
● "An oversight on my end!?"
● "To be crushed when there's so much more research to be done!?"
Izayoi
● "We should be on the same side!"
● "Jin! Noel! Makoto!"
● "You would impede my justice!?"
Amane Nishiki
● "This will dry out my makeup!"
● "Despite your size, you're quite elegant in the sky!"
● "Such strength and determination!"
Bullet
● "How can an enemy this size be capable of this!?"
● "DAMN YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
● "I'll pay you back for this! I swear it!"
Azrael
● "HAH! Bring it on!"
● "I MIGHT release a limiter afterward!"
● "Hmpf! This might be good for popping the crick in my back."
Kagura Mutsuki
● "Ugh! A dude's grabbing me of all things!"
● "Hope your grab's not as bad as the Red Devil's!"
● "Great... Hibiki's not gonna let me live this down..."
Yuuki Terumi
● "YOU MUCLE-HEAD BRICK SHIT HOUSEEEEEEEE!"
● "I'm gonna slice your arms off soon enough!"
● "Your helmet will make a good bucket for your servered head!"
Kokonoe
● "I can use this data to upgrade the Genesic Emerald Tager Buster for Tager later on."
● "Impressive rocket boosters! Zepp REALLY is something."
● "YES! This is what science is all about!"
Celica A. Mercury
● "Don't let go Minerva!"
● "You shouldn't toss or throw people mister!"
● "Don't worry Minerva, I'll heal you when we land!"
Lambda-11
● "Danger. Situation critical."
● "Escape not possible."
● "Ragna... help..."
Hibiki Kohaku
● "LORD KAGURAAAAAAAAA!"
● "I miscalculated!?"
● "How could raw strengh overcome tactical planning!?"
Naoto Kurogane
● "Aw man! This is gonna SUCKKKKKKKKK!"
● "Raquel! SAVE MEEEEEEEEE!"
● "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Nine The Phantom
● "I'll burn you for grabbing my legs!"
● "I'll take whatever you dish out!"
● "How dare you!?"
Izanami
● "Your attempts to kill me are futile."
● "Perhaps I should do this to you later on?"
● "Can you truly kill a Goddess of Death?"
Susano'o
● "YOU DARE TOUCH A GOD, YOU FILTH!?"
● "I'LL KILL YOU AS SOON AS WE LAND, MAGGOT!"
● "SUCH BLASPHEMY TOWARD A GOD WILL NOT STAND, YOU MONGREL!"
Es
● "I have made a mistake...!"
● "The damage will be severe...!"
● "Touya...!"
Mai Natsume
● "Nononononono! NOOOOOOOOOO!"
● "Ulp! I'm in for now!"
● "Please don't break my back!"
Jubei
● "Guess I got a tad careless this time!"
● "Alright, let's see what you got, ya youngster!"
● "Didn't think ya could outsmart me! Well done!
========================================================================
Hope you all enjoyed this!
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summerf0x · 2 months
Text
I think it’s weird how the monarchy is never really punished in Wings Of Fire.
The go-to solution is always just “replace the old evil queen with a new, not evil queen!” The sandwing sisters? Replace them with Thorn. Scarlet? Replace her with Ruby. The rainwing queens and Battlewinner? Replace them with Glory. Aside from a couple comments about how the rainwing’s contests being a nonviolent way to determine the queen while also giving everyone regardless of status a chance to rule, there isn’t much criticism of the monarchy when the New Better Queen rolls in.
The first arc is practically a powerpoint presentation on how bad it is; the three sandwing sisters tear apart the continent because Blister and Blaze couldn’t win in a duel so they drag everyone else into their mess. The correct thing here is getting Thorn to become the queen, who stops the war and does literally nothing about the Scorpion Den despite living there for mostly all her life.
Queen Scarlet openly supports and profits from this system. She runs a gladiatorial arena filled with P.O.Ws and makes them fight each other for the amusement of her court and Burn. The solution to these events which presumably would leave a lasting scar on the skywing kingdom is just get Ruby to replace her. Ruby chooses to stay out of the war, turn the arena into a hospital, and work on expanding relations with the other kingdoms. This is fine in theory, but it does nothing to stop a new queen from doing the exact same things that Scarlet did. Hell, in her brief coup Scarlet does this:
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Queen Coral, while not a major supporter of the war, still allies with Blister and kills or dismisses multiple of her own subjects intentionally as a punishment for those who fail her (Webs’s wife, Snail, Herring’s brother, Tortoise). Tsunami’s gradual disillusionment with the royal lifestyle reaches its peak when her mother orders her to get thrown in jail, but the buildup to that is Whirlpool’s existence and Tortoise getting her teeth ripped out in front of her. We never loop back to this, just get a couple comments about how she’s better now that Blister’s gone. As much of a throwaway line as it was, Coral still enforced classism and neglected her other children, but as far as the series is concerned, she’s a new person.
The Rainwing court suffers from and entirely different problem (Kestril’s abuse towards Glory is because she’s a “lazy rainwing” and this turns out to be true? how is that the direction you go in?) but still falls in the same pitfalls as the others. Glory becomes the queen and she is clearly more fit for this job than those awful, vain, common rainwings from before. It also turns out that she’s Grandeur’s relative, who was still around when there was an actual rainwing royal family, so she’s even more fit for the job!
The nightwings are more similar to the other monarchies. Instead of looking at how their isolation caused them to develop a system circled around lies and their own supremacy and how it could be dismantled, the two guys at fault (Battlewinner and Morrowseer) get exploded and now Glory’s their queen, who despite being six (or however old that is in human years), has enough sense to rule over two entirely different groups of dragons that she has rarely interacted with aside from a few days.
The icewings are given the most criticism in-universe because they’ve got a monarchy and class devision! Winter sees how the icewings in the upper circles only treat their children as extensions of themselves in order to further their own goals and how those in the lower circles are forced to live without luxuries he gets just because of where they were born. The solution to this is to make the new queen have magic empathy visions and just destroy the class devision wall and racism crown. Sure, some older dragons give mean looks, but everyone else claps!
Mudwings. Uh. I really wish I could say something here but Tui hasn’t given us much to go off of. Moorhen is just being bullied by Burn into joining her side?
I’m not really going into the arc 3 queens because I honestly forgot what happened with a lot of them, but Wasp’s defeat is salt in the wound. You have a whole oppressed group of people with fire powers and two of our main characters who directly oppose Wasp are part of that group, and the way she gets taken down is… venom-blasted by a rainwing who has no significant connections to her and then locked up in a throwaway line.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m looking too deep into a kids book about dragons, but I feel like there’s something better that could have been done.
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soulofapatrick · 1 month
Text
Heart’s Desire 1/2 - Simon Lewis x female reader
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Summary: What if it's you, Clary and Simon who visit the Seelie realm, Simon having to pick
Words: 2.4k
Warnings: angst; fluff
Notes: There might be a part two im not sure yet
Y/N’s POV
Plunging into the icy depths of the winter water in Central Park was not on my bucket list of things to do today. Or to do ever actually but here we are, me Simon and Clary, jumping into the water like it’s an everyday occurrence. The shock of the cold steals my breath away, the frigid embrace of the water envelopes me, numbing my senses for a fleeting moment before the adrenaline kicks in. Darkness surrounds me, broken only by the occasional glimmer of light filtering through the surface above. 
With a burst of determination, I kick against the water, propelling myself upwards with all the strength I can muster. My lungs burn with the need for air, and just as I feel like I can’t hold on any longer, I break through the surface, gasping for air. 
And suddenly, I’m not in Central Park anymore. 
As I gasp for air, blinking away the water from my eyes, I find myself in a realm unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. The shock of the transition from icy water to this new world leaves me momentarily disoriented, but as I take in my surroundings, awe washes over me. 
The Seelie Realm stretches out before us, transformed by a blanket of pristine white snow. Everywhere I look, snow capped trees tower majestically, their branches adorned with delicate icicles that shimmer in the soft light. The air is crisp and clean, carry with it the scent of pine and magic, and the ground beneath our feet is soft with freshly fallen snow. 
Simon and Clary emerge from the water beside me, their faces reflecting the same wonder and amazement that I feel. Despite the cold plunge we just took, we find ourselves miraculously dry, as if the very essence of the Seelie Realm itself has welcomed us and granted us safe passage. That should be a good thing but with the Seelie Queen and her tricks… I really don’t think so . 
Together, we make our way through the winter wonderland, our footsteps leaving a trail of imprints in the snow. As we walk, I can't help but marvel at the beauty that surrounds us—the way the sunlight filters through the trees, casting a warm golden glow on the snow-covered ground, and the way the gentle breeze carries with it the soft tinkling of bells in the distance. 
As we approach the Seelie Court, Simon and Clary walk slightly behind me, allowing me to take the lead as the envoy for our group. The crunch of snow beneath our boots is the only sound as we make our way through the enchanting forest, the anticipation of meeting the Seelie Queen hanging heavy in the air. 
Finally, we reach the grand entrance of the Seelie Court, its towering spires reaching toward the sky like fingers grasping for the stars. The doors swing open before us, revealing the opulent interior of the court, adorned with shimmering crystals and intricate vines wrapping their way around almost everything they can get their grip on.
At the centre of it all sits the Seelie Queen, her throne raised on a dais of more vines and flowers. She appears no older than a child of ten, with long scarlet hair and clear, blue eyes, wearing an intricate golden circlet for a crown. Those eyes betray a wisdom far beyond her physical years, sparkling with mischief and ancient knowledge. 
She watches us with a gaze that seems to pierce straight through our souls, her expression unreadable as we approach. The air humming with anticipation, the weight of her presence almost tangible as we come to stand before her throne. 
I take a deep breath, steeling myself for the encounter, and then I bow low before the Seelie Queen, Simon and Clary following suit beside me. As I lift my gaze to meet hers, I can't help but feel a sense of awe and reverence for this powerful being who holds sway over the realm of the Seelie.
“Welcome, shadowhunters,” She says, her voice like the tinkling of bells on a winter’s breeze, “What brings you to my court on this day?” 
I straighten, meeting her gaze with as much confidence as I can muster. "We come seeking your aid, Your Majesty," I reply, my voice steady despite the nerves that flutter in my stomach. "There are matters of great importance that require your wisdom and guidance.” 
As I finish speaking, a sudden sensation of pressure grips my body, causing me to gasp in shock for the second time today. I look down to see thick vines bursting from the ground, wrapping tightly around my legs and binding them together. Panic surges through me as I struggle against the entangling tendrils, but it's no use. The vines seem to have a will of their own, their thorns digging into my skin, piercing through layers of clothing. 
A whimper escapes me as I feel my arms being trapped at my sides by more vines, leaving me completely immobilised. I glance around frantically, only to see Clary in a similar predicament, her expression of mix of fear and confusion. 
“Si…” I choke out, the vines moving slowly over my throat, the vines around Clary mimicking mine, “Help us.” 
Simon stands nearby, his bright eyes wide in shock as he watches helplessly. I can see the turmoil in his expression, the desperate desire to come to our aid warring with the fear of making a wrong move in the presence of the Seelie Queen. 
But before he can react, the Seelie Queen speaks, her voice echoing through the hall with a cold edge, “Ah, Shadowhunters,” She says, her tone dripping with amusement and too much malice for her child-like voice, “It seems you have come seeking my aid, only to find yourselves ensnared in your own folly.” 
I grit my teeth, frustration bubbling up inside me as I struggle against the vines, “What is the meaning of this?” I demand, my voice tinged with anger and desperation as my voice gets cut off by the vines tightening with barely a raise of her pinky finger. 
The Seelie Queen tilts her head, a wicked smile playing at the corners of her lips, “You seek my aid,” she says, her voice uncomfortably innocent for what is just happening right now, “But first, you must prove yourselves worthy of it.” 
I go to speak again but with a wave of her hand, the vines tighten their grip even more, causing me to choke out a strangled sound of pain, feeling the thorns digging deeper into my flesh, drawing blood as they hold me captive. Each breath is a struggle, the pressure around my chest threatening to cut off my air supply completely so I stop struggling. Alec wouldn’t be too happy if I died before he and Magnus could ‘claim me as their kid’ in Magnus’ words. 
Through the haze of pain, I hear Simon’s voice, pleading with the Seelie Queen to stop. His words are desperate, filled with a raw emotion that cuts through the air like a knife. But the Seelie Queen merely watches, her expression unreadable as sh takes in the scene before her. 
And then, as if sensing the shift in the air, she turns her gaze toward Simon, her eyes narrowing with interest. "And what of you, Daylighter?" she asks, her voice silky smooth. "Do you wish to save your friends from their plight?”
Simon steps forwards, his jaw clenched with determination, “Please,” he says, his voice trembling with emotions, “Let them go, I’ll do anything you want.” 
The Seelie Queen smiles, a cruel twist to her lips as she regards him. "Anything?" she repeats, her tone dripping with malice. And Simon, being the idiot he is nods, repeating her words, his voice steady despite the fear lurking in his gaze as he glances back at us. 
Her smile widens even more, malice behind those bright eyes as she watches Simon with a predatory intent, “Very well,” She practically purrs, her voice dripping with satisfaction, “You must kiss the one you desire most, Daylighter.” 
My heart sinks like a stone in my chest, a heavy weight pulling me down as if I’ve just plummeted on the steepest drop of a rollercoaster. I can hardly bear to watch as Simon hesitates, his gaze flickering between me and Clary before settling on Clary. It makes me feel a surge of panic that grips me, the fear that he’s going to choose Clary overpowering any rational thought. After all, they share a history that goes far beyond anything I could offer him. They've been through so much together, and deep down, I know they're meant to be.
As Simon splutters in response to the Seelie Queen's demand, I can't help but feel a sense of resignation settle over me. Of course, he's going to pick Clary. It's what's expected of him, what everyone would expect of him.
But then, to my astonishment, Simon takes a hesitant step towards us both, his movements slow and deliberate, like a cautious traveller navigating unfamiliar terrain. My heart flutters erratically in my chest, disbelief washing over me like a crashing wave against the shore. Could it be? Could he really be choosing me? 
I watch in stunned silence as Simon takes another deep breath, his chest rising and falling in a rhythm that mirrors the tumultuous emotions swirling inside me despite his lack of need to breathe anymore. His brow furrows slightly, as if he’s wrestling with an inner conflict, but beneath the uncertainty, there’s a flicker of determination in his eyes. 
And then, in a move that catches everyone off guard, Simon takes two decisive steps towards me. As he takes those two decisive steps towards me, the air crackles with anticipation, charged with the electricity of the unexpected. My heart races in my chest, a fluttering bird desperate to take flight as I watch him, my breath caught in my throat. 
With a tenderness that belies the uncertainty of his movements, Simon’s fingers brush against my cheek, sending a thrill of warmth racing through me. His touch is gentle yet firm, as if seeking solace in the connection. His eyes, pools of liquid amber, search mine with an intensity that steals my already very shallow breath away. It’s as if he's peering into the depths of my soul, seeking reassurance and understanding in the unspoken language of our gaze.
In this suspended moment, the world falls away, leaving only Simon and me in our own private universe. Time slows to a crawl, each heartbeat echoing like the distant tolling of a bell, as we stand on the precipice of something momental. And then, without a word, Simon leans in, closing the gap between us with a hesitant that mirrors my own. His lips, soft and inviting, brush against mine in a tender caress, igniting a wildfire of sensation that courses through every fibre of my being. 
His kiss is like a balm to my soul, a revelation that leaves me breathless and wanting more. It's as if every dream I've ever dared to dream is coming true in this one perfect moment, as if the universe itself has conspired to bring us together in this exquisite dance of fate. It’s a symphony of sensations, each touch igniting a wildfire of longing that burns deep within me. Every brush of his lips against mine sends shockwaves of pleasure racing through my veins, leaving me dizzy with desire.
It’s as if time itself has ceased to exist, and we’re caught in a timeless embrace, lost in the swirling currents of passion and devotion. In the moment, there is only Simon and me, bound together by the invisible threads of fate, our souls intertwined in a dance as old as time itself. 
My hands ache to reach out to him, to tangle in his hair and pull him closer until there’s no space left between us. And finally, as if hearing the silent plea of my heart, the vines that once ensnared me begin to untangle, releasing me from their grasp. 
With a sense of liberation that fills me to the brim, I reach out to Simon, our fingers intertwining in a silent vow of solidarity. His touch is electric, sending shivers of anticipation racing down my spine as he pulls me closer, his hands finding purchase on my hips. 
As Simon pulls away, a lingering warmth remains between us, a silent echo of the passion we shared in that fleeting moment. Our fingers remain intertwined, a silent vow of solidarity that speaks volumes in the hushed stillness of the Seelie Court. But, as we catch our breath, a sudden realisation dawns upon us—Clary is nowhere to be seen. Panic grips my heart like a vice, squeezing tight with the weight of guilt as I realise the consequences of our actions.
My gaze darts around the clearing, searching desperately for any sign of Clary's presence, but she's vanished without a trace. The guilt gnaws at me, twisting in my gut like a serpent as I struggle to come to terms with the consequences of our choices. 
The Seelie Queen watches us with a knowing smile, her eyes glinting with amusement as she observes the turmoil playing out before her. "It seems your friend has left you," she remarks, her voice like velvet edged with steel. "No matter. You may go.” Her words hang in the air like a verdict, leaving me with a sinking feeling of unease. I exchange a worried glance with Simon, the weight of our actions pressing down upon us like a heavy burden.
As we turn to leave, the Seelie Queen's voice stops us in our tracks. "Remember," she says, her voice a whispered promise carried on the wind. "When the time comes to face against Valentine, I will consider helping you."
Her words offer a glimmer of hope amidst the uncertainty that looms ahead, a beacon of light in the darkness of our uncertain future. And as we step out of the Seelie Court and into the crisp night air, I can't help but wonder what trials await us on the path ahead—and whether we'll emerge victorious, or succumb to the shadows that lurk in the depths of our own hearts.
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The Shadowhunters Masterlist TAG LIST - updated 21st Dec 2023
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chokchokk · 8 months
Note
I see you interact with a lot of people and was curious if you would assign your moots on who would be "your ateez eight is one team"? Or who would be who for you personality wise based off ateez members xx
ATE MAKES ONE TEAM, HELLO EVERYONE WE'RE EIGHTEEZ !
except choosing only eight for eight is really difficult i'll be fr. like i have collected so many bbies and babies assigning only one for each is gonna be so difficult like who the fawk am i to leave anyone of yall out.... anyway i'll try to choose those who i interact the most on tumblr but also in private because yall have my heart and i want to give yall pieces of it you know !!!! (it's gonna be burning aflame so if it's too hot then let it fall. it's ok.)
i'll base it off my mootie's personality and assign them their position using some info from this & this i guess~ and i'll just quickly assign myself and say... performance-wise i wanna be san. who doesn't want to idols slutting it out every second in their fancam? pls close your eyes then because you won't like me as an idol. i want to put edit-tiktok in a chokehold. personality-wise yeesh i dunno i don't think they would take me for this alone...... lol anyway did i write like WAAAAAY too much? no. could've written more. so much more. LOL i hope yall care for it~ xoxo
upcoming ... EIGHTEEZ MEMBERS!
HYUNG-LINE/CAPTAIN. [ helping hand ; guide ; respected ]
MICHI BBY, @cybrsan this wasn't a choice i had to think about longer than a second michi !!! i should honestly thank you every day for having been the helping hand that i needed to make that leap from tumblr newbie to turning into an even more unhinged hivemind of #horndogism by introducing me to the cromernet!!!! like you have a calm personality that could start a storm... (and this isn't me wanting to see waterbender!wooyoung lol) and as it goes for the position, i do see you taking in a generally nurturing and guiding role!! just helping out wherever you can fr and still maintaining your smile and warmness when your life is filled with other duties?? michi mother.
KALEM MAMA, @svintsandghosts would you give yourself the position of a leader?? uhhhh... i think you probably wouldn't lol. but i know you and i have seen you, and it has (and will hopefully!) always work out with you sat at the steering wheel soooo here you go babes. you have determination, responsibility and the lightheartedness that would make for a very dynamic group dynamic while still getting shit done FUCK YEAH!!!!!! (i also see you as the oldest member getting confused with the young sometimes lol)
BAI-BAI, @hwaightme i still revisit some of our conversations just to ground myself, btw. like those words coming out of you so naturally is so so awe-inspiring and i find myself feeling great comfort in the love you have for the world, people and those two combined into art. it's... yeah, it's amazing!!! i see you being the philosopher that plato wanted in his ideal nation, a philosopher who is so talented in thinking, creating and reflecting and- that's just you for me, bai. i can't say anything more or less than that;;
SKY BABES, @pocketjoong there is a big lack of interaction here for me to put you here i KNOW but anytime i read your messages in the cromernet dc it's like yes... that is our sky!!! that is our cromother!!!!! (portmanteau of cromernet and mother, yes) so so careful, so gentle, so compassionate with everyone!!!!!!! your sense for responsibility and the sensibility you have is like???? you are such a warm hug of a person and i hope you feel the same warmth back!!
DEMON LINE. [ captivating ; dual ; feral but tamable lol ]
LOVELYSSIE (ALYSSA), @kitten4sannie first of all, my alysstar~~ hope you like being called tamable~^^ LMAO okay getting that out of our way, uhhhhh would i give you san? after all the things we said about him...... maybe....? whwhwgwg but not for the reasons that won't keep us awake for 12 hours~ sooo i'm going to give you demon line because oohhh hobblebun, when you get immersed into the #wordcraft, it's like... you're in it. and that's for me what the demon line is all about!!! friendly, super super approachable, lovable even, and then it's like BAM. the guttiest, tingle-evoking, body-throbbing paragraph i've ever read in my entire life help. innocent filth? oh yeah your work is definitely not innocent just like san is not innocently humping the air and slapping ghost ass but once you're off the stage you're both little spoon and just in need of some good ol' praise hehe. come here you!!!!!!
ANNE PFANNE, @ssaboala surprised to see yourself here? hmmm maybe. i hope you are lol. soooo what i think is so interesting about your personality is like. how "loud" (as in rich (as in charakterstark)) it is but when it's like? comfortably loud. laid-back, but can still get feisty on you typa thing, tbh. like you know you're talking to ms. choi-pfanne when you text her or are texted by her lmao??? i think the same thing goes to show in your work tho!!! filled with so much personality, it's so fun to read, and of course your irl personality is the same, but with more authority (because of the amounts of times you told me to start writing hop hop lmao) anyway yeah you're here, in the demon line, whether you like it or not xoxo
CHUPS (CHIP), @jaehunnyy could've just given you maknae line but i think you got two sides to you that even though i've reached a very stable, constant state of sweetness i think there's something a bit feral in you. lol i mean this in the best way possible tho, of course. like you are my little baby, you fr awake some of my motherly instincts who just... so happens to want to bite her kid's ass when she's roguing out!!!! anyway yes my darling, you can be so feral and i adore you for it, i wouldn't trade it for anything else!! and also you'd rock the shit out of demon line as a dancer i think. lol
ZERDA HERZBLATT, @a1sh1teruu yeah i think i'm just putting the german-speaking ones in the demon-line, screw me for it. LMAO. but yeaah i think you got a duality that comes from... rather your thoughts? ideas? at least i was rather positively surprised to be explained all the things about your mingi-series and HEY it was amazing so keep on going with that you know!!! your personality is energetic and i love how you talk with anne and me LMAO!!!!!!!!
MAKNAE-LINE. [ clever ; playful ; deft ]
RIRI(ELLE), @dairyminki didn't wanna give you the honour of demon-line. no jk i actually don't think you are in the demon line because you're... not that feral. like OKAY you are feral with me but like. that's my responsibility. i think you are a sweetheart through and through!!! with just... a bit of slyness that you can't shake off. like we went from little sister-big sister to the #hornet, okay? like we're on the same page. LMAO okay what i mean by that is just the fun i have to talk with you, like you are such a joy to engage and chat with you<33 like helping you out on your work is so so enjoyable, pls never think that i could ever be bored of that it's just time that i don't have but WANT to have, fr. like if i could i'd spend all of my days reading your work with you xx
BABY NORA, @cheollipop i realize i have no better nickname (punch me in the guts for this) so i'll just use this one. forgive. uhh. is this me saying you have younger sibling energy through and through? yeah. that's exactly what i'm doing. like i could have given you demon-line for having those two distinct moods from time to time, buuuut i think for you, it's almost natural to be that way? like the "cheeriness" is still a part of you even tho you may claim it not to be. just my observation here tho. in general i just think that your personality is stable even if you think it's not and it's just cuteness all around, even in the playfulness lol xx
VENDETTARLING, @vforvendetta-dupe did i ever call you darling? i don't think so. but you are a darling, i hope you know that ^^. sooo, yeah, you give me younger sibling and the ones that need all the love at that!!!! and tbh i'm not complaining. i like the random conversation-starters as much as i love the conversations that follow right after and ahhh babes you are just a joy fr. thank you for providing me with dog-pics and your cuteness all around the clock !!! xx
BEE(BEE), @hanniebeesworld i think you were one of the first people to have sent me a dm and i'm so glad you were, beebee like whwgwhw you are so so so adorable i really needed your sweetness (pun intended) when first starting all of this;;;;!!!! i don't know where you have been~ hopefully enjoying your school~ your life~ but i really really adore you so much wow!!! hope you're always eating the sweetest of sweets and collect the most delicious memories in life, beebee!!!!!!!!!!
VISUAL-LINE. [ aesthetic ; composed ; harmonious ]
LILO BUN, @seonghwaddict did i make this category just 4 you? ppffftt, i won't tell....... (i did.) i know we haven't chatted in-depth a lot which we should def change (that's a threat) but i still wanted to tell you that i appreciate your personality and adore the way you articulate yourself (in your work specifically!!!) it's so precise, and i think this also goes for you off-tumblr<33 i think there's a lot of playfulness like LMAO don't get me wrong i don't think you're this cold, composed person, like not at all actually lol, just that you have something very loose and comforting about you!!! hope that's understandable lol what i mean is that your company is nice lilo xx
KO-ALA (KALA), @jeonride omg not me being so lost and not adding you immediately because i am texting you rn help you're here because your blog is so so pretty and i can just see you have an eye for detail and just so so lovely!!!?? like your energy is so pretty too? you have something very affectionate about you and it makes you very likeable <33 so much fun to talk with you!!!! i appreciate you a lot and HELLO the fanfic???? i will forever cherish it. making americanos and always thinking of hubby. thank you so much <33
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spikedsoul · 1 year
Text
maid's worst nightmare - ch 39
hey friends! back again already with another chapter! and an invite to my writing discord, although honestly the chat's a little dull because i'm not so good at the initiating conversation. it's been strictly fnaf up until now but don't let that turn y'all away!
if y'all join please don't post movie spoilers!
anyway here's the link: https://discord.gg/pCkMQmpYFY
previous chapters
@sovereign-of-succ
You watched in awe as a screen seemed to pop up out of nowhere just off to the left of you, solid enough to see a frontal view of the boys in their karts at the starting line, but not enough to block your view of anything behind it (should anything exciting happen). While it was true technology was always advancing, sometimes it just completely blew you out of the water.
Large, unseen speakers suddenly flipped on - you could hear the buzz of the feedback - and music suddenly began playing, loud and clearly indicative of the imminent start of the race. The camera cut to each of the boys’ faces, and you couldn’t help but grin at them in their karts.
Junior looked incredibly determined in the midsized kart you’d requested for him; his brows were furrowed, lips pressed together with the corners of his mouth dipped down, and he was gripping his steering wheel tightly. Next to him was Morton, sitting in his tiny kart, with a wide, goofy grin across his snout and his shoulders hunched in a more relaxed posture. Ludwig was on the other side of Morton, in that large kart, and although he seemed relaxed and neutral, his arms were practically straight as he held the wheel, betraying his nerves of this practice race.
Three.
Two.
One.
All three of the boys took off at the same time, hurtling toward the thwomps at startling speed. Your eyes were glued to them until they barreled through the item blocks and sped under the falling stones and out of sight - at which point you quickly looked toward the screen.
The feeling of Bowser’s arm moving around you forced your attention away just as Morton, just barely lagging behind the others, threw a red shell. You looked down to see your king opening the letter you had forgotten about; he didn’t seem worried about keeping it from you, so you didn’t feel bad about reading it when he unfolded it.
Son,
I just wanted to remind you how proud I am of you and of the monarch you’ve grown into. There’s no one who can truly match you - not even Peach herself. And, speaking of, congrats on finally getting over her! Although I think we both know you have been for a while and just didn’t want to admit it. In any case, now it seems that you found someone you truly care about instead of mere infatuation, and it seems she actually feels the same.
I can guarantee that there won’t be an end to dealings with Peach, but hopefully going forward things are more planned… you know how she likes it when that red-themed bastard chases her. Hopefully now it’ll be better for everyone considering you’ve swayed that sweet little handmaiden to you. Just don’t forget that even if you two don’t end up married, your time with her will always be worth it!
Anyway. Expect a cake in your room after dinner.
Hopefully I get another grandkid, Love Dad
By the time you were done reading, your face and neck were burning from the deep-set blush. Another grandkid? Bowser already had eight kids, but apparently Kamek wanted one from you!
Bowser chuffed above you, his tail flicking against the back of the chair. “Idiot,” he mumbled. “Don’t listen to him, li’l lady. He’s just a whore for grandkids, apparently; there won’t be no surprises here. I’m not tryna trap you or nothin’.”
“Even though we didn’t use protection?” You swallowed a bit and glanced down at your stomach. Was it even possible for him to get you pregnant, given your species difference?
He rumbled softly, lightly nuzzling your temple, and your hand went up to his muzzle. Although he didn’t say anything, you understood he was making that promise to you - there wouldn’t be an unexpected kid until you and he were both ready.
But then, were you just supposed to hope you didn’t get pregnant from this first time? You could feel your heartbeat starting to quicken as the fear of getting pregnant because you weren’t thinking right during a moment of passion sunk in. Bowser rumbled again, this time a deeper sound, and kept nuzzling you.
“Easy, sweetheart. My magikoopas will make sure nothin’ happens, okay?” he cooed softly.
You nodded slowly and forced yourself to relax against him, returning your eyes to the screen as he tucked the letter back into the envelope. Based on the miniature map in the corner, the boys were almost done with their first lap out of three, although you couldn’t see them with your own eyes just yet. It looked like Ludwig was currently in the lead, but the other two weren’t too far behind. It could turn out to be anyone’s race still.
You’d just have to trust that things would turn out okay. You had yet to have any reason not to trust him, after all - he’d kept the trust you put in him so far, after all. Down to getting rid of Rodney permanently.
“Big man?” you murmured, your hand still on his muzzle.
“Don’tcha mean Dadd-”
“Bowser, I’m being serious.”
“Ah… yeah, sweetheart?”
You smiled a little, gently rubbing his snout a bit before you brought your hand down to scratch just under that cleft chin of his. “I’m really glad you kidnapped me.” Your eyes didn’t leave the screen until the boys finally came screeching around that second-to-final corner, on the straight where the spinning fire was.
Predictably, he leaned his head into the scratches. “I borrowed ya,” he corrected in a mumble. A faint swishing sound behind you gave away his wagging tail. “And I fully intended to give ya back.”
You chuckled as you watched the karts hurtling toward the start of their second lap, even giggling as Ludwig narrowly (and unknowingly) missed a green shell thrown by Junior. You did know enough about racing to know that no one was in danger, not really, despite the surprisingly violent nature of some of the items. Did you know how most of it worked? No! But knowing that would potentially take some of the awe away, and you were just fine not knowing.
“Intended, past tense,” you pointed out with a soft, pleased hum. “Not anymore?”
He scoffed, or at least tried to while getting chin scratches. “I mean, you don’t seem too keen on leavin’ anyway… besides, I got a selfish reputation - I am a king, y’know - so…”
You moved your hand a little to the side and he moved his head to accommodate the new scritch location, allowing you to place a sweet kiss on his muzzle. His eyes popped open in surprise, and he glanced at you, blushing in surprise. You, however, kept your eyes on the screen, though you could see it in your peripherals.
Admittedly, seeing him blush was adorable. It was probably the same reason why he liked to make you blush so much.
Bowser didn’t say anything as he rested his chin lightly on your shoulder. You smiled, leaning your head against his as you watched a red shell (thrown by Junior) hit Ludwig and flip his kart right at the start of the second lap. Junior and Morton both flew by the eldest koopaling into a nice lead, but it still could end up anyone’s race.
You settled against Bowser to watch, grinning. This was turning out to be a really nice afternoon.
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massivewaffle · 2 months
Text
I wrote a little Jimmy/Tango/Scott fic for @patorucho for the @mcyt-valentines exchange!!! Have some domestic and sweet Valentine's Day fluff. I hope you enjoy <3 <3 <3
Jimmy and Tango are trying their best to surprise Scott for Valentine's Day, but as usual, a few things go wrong...
“Hey Jimmy!? Jimmy?” Tango’s voice sounds pained as he yells through the house, willing it not to sound as panicked as he feels.
“Tango? Is everything okay? What’s going on?!” 
Jimmy is somewhere upstairs, voice too quiet for Tango to hear over the sound of bubbling chocolate and beeps from the timer atop the stove. He sighs as he breathes, raising his voice to scream upstairs, ensuring Jimmy will hear him. 
“Nothing is okay! Everything is exploding, and we’re all going to suffer!” 
“I thought dinner was going well?” Jimmy’s voice closes in on the kitchen, and Tango can hear his feet padding down the stairs as he hurries to Tango’s aid. A few moments later, the kitchen door swings open, and Jimmy enters. 
“Jeez! It smells amazing in here, Tango! Holy moly, you’ve outdone yourself this time. Not gonna lie, I was a little concerned to start, but this looks incredible!” Jimmy’s eyes are as honest as always as he looks from one dish to another in awe of Tango’s skills. 
Tango blushes under Jimmy’s praise, smirking to himself over a job well done. Or at least, mostly well done. 
“Well, thank you. But dinner isn’t the problem! The fire thing is the issue. I can’t get it going, and if it doesn’t work, there’s no point in doing any of this, and Scott is gonna be disappointed, and everything will be a mess.” Tango’s voice raises in pitch as he speaks, squeaking and breaking as his nerves take over. 
“Oh my gosh, Tango, breathe! Please! Breathe man! It’s going to be fine! We can figure this out. We’re competent! We can make this work; we just have to focus!” Jimmy’s determination may be forced, but Tango is grateful for his instant ability to calm him. Jimmy walks around the island to Tango, wrapping his arms around him from behind and resting his forehead on the back of Tango’s head. 
Tango relaxes, feeling his muscles give way as he leans into Jimmy’s embrace. He can feel Jimmy’s breath against his scalp, sending shivers down his spine. 
“Thanks. Turns out trying all this for the first time is harder than I thought,” Tango admits, leaning more of his body weight onto Jimmy. 
Jimmy lets out an ‘oof’ as Tango knocks him off balance but rights himself as he pushes Tango forward into the kitchen island. 
“There we go, you silly sausage! Everything is going to be just fine!”
Tango turns in Jimmy’s arms to face him, shifting to press a small kiss on the tip of Jimmy’s nose, which immediately makes him blush. 
“Stop it, you! You’re trying to distract me!”
“So what if I am?” Tango challenges, raising his eyebrows lasciviously. 
“I would say - wait, Tango. Do you smell something weird?”
Tango coughs back a laugh. 
“Not your best pick-up line, but it will do for now,” Tango jokes, leaning in for a kiss.
“Oh my lord! No, Tango! It’s a fire! The pot’s on fire!”
Jimmy steps back from Tango, pulling him into his chest and away from danger. A few feet away on the kitchen island sits a small fondue pot, once filled with chocolate but now consumed by the overabundance of flame. 
“Oh no. Oh, that is fire. Jimmy. Jimmy! Fire is happening. Is this supposed to happen? Is this good fire or bad fire?”
“Is this supposed to happen?! What do you think, Tango?” Jimmy yelps, desperately looking around the room for oven mitts. 
“I’ve never used one of these fancy fondueificators before!” Tango yelps, grabbing for one of the skewers a few feet away on the counter. He hands it to Jimmy as Jimmy puts on the mitts and attempts to poke at the pot with a long skewer. 
“How did you burn chocolate, Tango?! How did the flame get so high?!”
“I don’t know! We must have bumped it somehow!” Tango wheezes frantically. 
Jimmy uses the skewer to slide the pot off the burner before quickly stepping close enough to turn the tap off, ending their panic. 
“What is going on in here?!” Scott’s confused voice comes from the other side of the door, clearly nervous about entering. 
“Why are you home early?” Tango yells through the door, looking to Jimmy for guidance. 
“Early? I said I’d be back for dinner. It’s 6 pm!”
“Oh, jeez,” Jimmy sighs, covering his face with his hands. “Can you leave again? We’re not ready!”
“Why does it smell like something’s burning? Are you burning down my kitchen?!” Scott questions, pushing at the kitchen door to enter.
“No!” Jimmy yelps, rushing ahead to push back on the door; he and Scott stuck in a stalemate. 
“No, as in don’t come in, or no, as in nothing is burning?”
“Both!” Tango yells, quickly trying to dispose of all burn chocolate remnants.
“This doesn’t leave me with a lot of confidence.”
“Just. Just give us a minute, Scott! One minute!” Jimmy barks, stepping away from the door to wipe down the counter as Tango removes the evidence. He quickly shifts the finished and noticeably unburnt dinner from the table to the counter, hoping to distract Scott if anything. 
Jimmy nods to Tango, and Tango returns his movement, shifting to the door. He takes a breath before finally pulling it open, revealing the surprise. 
“Wait. Is this for me? Did you two try to cook for me?”
“An attempt may have been made, yes,” Tango affirms, already red-faced at Scott’s soft tone. 
“Aw, guys! This is so sweet. A bit misguided, but very sweet.”
“We did pretty good!” Jimmy says proudly, spinning a plate to show Scott their markedly unburnt efforts. 
“If I had a ‘you tried’ sticker, I’d put one on both your shirts. I must admit that this isn’t half bad looking for your first attempt.”
“We wanted to surprise you, but uh, well, we might have tried to do a little too much,” Tango admits, nervously massaging the back of his neck as he speaks. 
“I see. I’m guessing the ‘too much’ is whatever is currently smoldering in my garbage can?” Scott says with a smirk and a raised brow.
Jimmy and Tango follow Scott’s eyeline to the garbage, which shows no signs of duress, giving themselves away. 
“Mhm. Thought so. It’s the thought that counts. I’m impressed, honestly. Thank you for doing this for me.” Scott seems genuinely surprised that Tango and Jimmy went to all the effort for him, and his face shifts from a knowing smirk to a beaming smile. 
“You’ve just been so busy lately,” Jimmy says quietly, trailing off. 
“I thought we could impress you for once and use the fancy, uh, meltificator machine! You love that thing!”
“Fondue pot, Tango. For the love of god, it’s a fondue pot.”
“Well, I appreciate the effort, boys. It’s quite adorable. Very cute of you to do.” Scott moves from side to side, pressing a kiss on the cheek to each of them. 
“Now, should I come home at the same time tomorrow? For the real thing?”
“Real thing?” Jimmy asks, head cocking to the side. “What do you mean real thing?! Are you joking? This is the real thing!” 
“This is true, this is true. I don’t think you could pay me enough to try and do this again all in one night,” Tango admits with a sigh. 
“Ah. I see. Well…” Scott trails off, looking far too amused. He giggles to himself, shaking his head from side to side as he tries to contain his laughter. 
“Oi! Excuse me!? What are you laughing at?!” Jimmy squeals in disbelief. 
“Sooooo. You boys did notice that Valentine's Day is tomorrow, not today, right?”
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ieatyourbeauty · 1 year
Text
**Enemies with Benefits part 4**
Tumblr media
NSFW MDIN
(breedin kink, P in V sesuals)
Recap: so Soap and Spider are Enemies with benefits after a drunken night of fucking they make a deal to continue this partnership Soap and Her have been catching feelings with each other oh and Ghost found out accidently womp womp. So what happens when Soap's ex messes up his mood and its up to Spider to get his mind off things.
part 1
part 2
part 3
funny Ghost and Spider
Soap is blue
Spider is purple
and if you see yellow dats me
(lets skip a week shall we? )
Spider had noticed that Soap was an even worse mood than before, she wonders if she did something wrong then one of the soldiers says his ex is coming back since she's engaged to another soldier.
Spider: really?
Soldier 1: yeah I think her name was ...Tanya? Taylo? it was a T name.
Soldier 2: yeah heard the dude went on a awful mission one time he came home she was fucking someone else in their bed bro.
Spider: yikes.....that's awful he's a nice guy I don't get why someone would do that.
Soldier: I thought you hated him spider
Spider: I ..don't... its complicated I don't hate him we just get on each others nerves sometimes.
Soldier 2: oh yeah I've been hearing you guys get all up in each others nerves at night.
Spider: jesus christ! did ghost tell everyone!
Soldier 2: I never talked to ghost.
Spider: god fuck yall.
Both the soldiers start chuckling and spider rolls her eyes, she now knew the reason why Soap was acting so weird with everyone including her why didn't he talked to her she thought about it a plan had hatched in her head she just hoped it would go well.
(lets turn the lights off its night time babyyyyy.)
Spider walked around the hallway at night in her shorts and soaps t-shirt (that she said she would give back but never did lol) cause she couldn't sleep because she hasn't seen soap all day he had been distant with her everyone else was knocked out, she had heard a noise in the mess hall kitchen she was curious and entered the mess hall following the noise further and going to the kitchen area she found Soap drunk on his ass trying to make some food along with the bottle of booze he had on the table. she finally said something snapping him out of it.
Spider: hey Soap..(oh shit hes sauced up more than usual)
Soap: Eugh.. What? oh Spider its you.
He said, clearly annoyed, she walked towards him he made a mess out of the kitchen whoever had mess hall duty was certainly not gonna be happy tomorrow, Spider muttered under her breath.
Spider:....I guess were going by our call names again.
Soap: huh...what was that?
Spider: huh?...nothing...I heard your ex is back.
Soap had given her a irritated glare, Spider was determined that this plan as stupid as it is was gonna work, she just had to piss him off enough for it to work. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth lord help her.
Spider: you getting drunk cause your ex is here with a new man? Didn't she cheat on you when u went on missions some of those you almost fucking died? Hell from what I heard you caught her fucking someone else in your bed why do you care about her this much? Soap!
Soap was taken aback by the comments, His rage was very noticeable, He was clearly not in the right mental state.. he stormed over to Spider, lifting her by her hips and putting her on the kitchen table, before he got in her face.
Soap: Don't. Speak. Of. Her. Understand, princess?
He snarled, before backing off, and letting her go, He took a long drink of the alcohol sitting it on the counter beside her, he stood across from her with his head down, looking at nothing in particular. Spider blushed from his force but she takes a breath to calm down but she grabs the bottle taking a drink out of it burning her throat she coughs and looks at Soap with a determined look.
Spider: come here soap.
Soap: What?
He asked, he wasn't happy with this, It's almost like what he really wanted was to break someone's nose, or kill someone, The man was clearly not in a good state,
Spider: now Soap!
she demanded Soap walked towards her going standing between her legs his hands on her thighs him breathing heavily she looks up at him and she caresses his cheek her face being stern turned to concern.
Spider: just....listen to me please?
He took a deep breath, his shaking was clear.. It seems like what was needed was for someone to be in charge.. And she seemed to fit that role just fine.. He nodded slightly, waiting for her to continue.. To do what it was that she wanted to do.
Spider: I can make you forget about her.....use me to forget about her Soap.
Spider blushed saying this not ever being this forward but she hated seeing him like this. Soap looked at her slightly blushing, He nodded slightly, and moved his hands a little further up her legs, Spider already feeling a heat at her core. He still didn't say a word, and was just trying to relax, He did not want to do anything violent.. His mind was in a place that it normally wasn't.. But if this was what it took.. To take away what was going on in his head for now. Then he was up for it, Spider Kisses him softly on the lips, if using her body would calm him down she would do it over and over. After a little while, Soap eventually got lost in the kiss, His hands went up her back as he pushed himself against her.. He was slowly forgetting about what has happened, But still not completely.. He pulled away for a moment, just so he could speak
Soap: are you sure?
Spider: shut up...it's fine if it's you...only you.
There wasn't an ounce of hesitation as he kissed her back more passionately, The tension between them was very clear as he put one hand on her waist and another between her legs teasing her clothed pussy already feeling how wet she was Soap smiled into the kiss. Spider moaning softly she kissed his neck and whispered in his ear.
Spider: not here....bedroom...your room..
Soap shivered slightly, He nodded, And quickly followed her into his bedroom, Not wasting a second more for some small talk. they were quick to take off their clothes Soap sitting behind Spider her legs spread he's teasing spider's pussy with his fingers her whimpering and moaning while her juices dripped down her leg his fingers wet with her he loved her voice, he whispered in her ear.
Soap: I love your voice....so quiet so cute all for me.
Spider: f-fuck it fe-feels so good soap.
Soap took his fingers out of her wet cunt, her eyes wet from overstimulation she was panting.
Soap: open your mouth I want you to taste how good you are.
Spider did as she was told opening her mouth he stuck his two fingers in her mouth she licked and sucked on his fingers tasting herself on his fingers.
Soap: good girl that's my fucking good girl.
Spider: lay down....i want to make you feel good too....lay down please
Soap: of course my pretty girl.
Soap laid on the bed his dick was fully erect with precum glistening on the tip, Spider looked feral at it she touches it softly licking the tip before going on the length of his dick with her tongue she was lost in her lust she heard soaps soft moans she moaned when she deepthroated his cock earning a loud groan from him, she looked at him gripping the sheets his eyes rolling to the back on his head she bob's her head up and down on his shaft gagging on his dick she finally gives herself time to breathe she hears his whimpers which sound so cute to her. Spider uses her hand to jerk him off lubricating him with the spit she used he was panting like a horny dog she smiled.
Spider: no no your not...allowed...dont waste your cum I want every single drop inside me soap.
Soap was taken by surprise by the sudden command, as his breath hitched, as his hands tightened.. he looked at her for a moment, trying to process what she'd asked him, before he shook his head in agreement.
Soap: Yes ma'am..
Spider straddled him aligning his prepped dick to her waiting wet cunt she eased on it earning a gasp from her and a groan of pleasure from Soap.
Spider: it's too big...ahh I feel every bit of you inside me s-soap.
Soap: God your fucking gorgeous Josey.
happy tears came from her eyes as she was riding him her called her name again not spider ...Josey.... just something about him calling her name sent her over the edge her movements were fast bouncing on his fat cock she laied her chest onto his still riding him she felt his hands cup on her ass and he started to thrust up her cunt at a rapid pace earning a loud moan from Spider.
Soap: thats right Josey cum make a big mess on my cock I'm close too.
Spider: y-yes yes yesss
Her pussy squeezed around Soap's cock tight her mind melted by the pleasure after that he painted her walls white with his cum. Both of them panting and sweaty, she got off of him and laid beside him while they both catching their breath.
Spider: .....so....another.. round?
Soap was speechless, as he caught his breath.. that had been a really wild first bout.. He laid there for a few seconds, trying to gather some words.
Soap: Y-Yeah.. another round.
he panted, as he sat up, and started to kiss you.
Soap: Definitely.. another.. round...
but now this time, he knew, that he'd be the one to take control. He grabbed his belt from the floor he demanded her attention.
Soap: arms behind your back..now.
Spider put her arms behind her back as Soap tied her wrists up with his belt she laid on her belly. He smacked her thighs so she would spread her legs, teasing her cunt slapping it with his dick.
Soap: all fuckin tied up for me
Spider: god ur a fucking tease Soap.
Soap: and you enjoy it.
His cock enter inside her aching cunt slowly he took his arm and put Spider in a headlock kissing her cheek and whispering dirty words in her ear, while he thrusted inside of her hard and slow every move of his hips earning her moans getting him going.
Soap: you're such a pretty slut for me Josey...say it your my own personal stress relief....say it
Spider: i-I'm your fuck toy.....I'm your stre-ss relief...S-soap...so fucking big....
Soap: thats my girl ....my pretty fuck toy you can take more of me cant you?
His thrusts became faster her cunt getting tighter around Soap's cock as she bites his arm from the pleasure she's feeling inside he smiles.
Soap: so cute when you fight your pleasure, that just makes me want to go faster.
He said, Not taking an ounce of the force off his movements, in fact he goes faster like he said making her mind going blank its like he's trying to get her pregnant hes going so deep inside her she tries to remember if she took her birth control....though lets be serious their kids would be pretty cute, Their minds must have linked cause Soap thought what she would look like round and pregnant with his kid her big tits filled with milk he wouldn't mind lil Soap's running around he thought it would be fun...at least with her.
Soap: I'm gonna fuck a baby into you.....J-josey would you like that?
Spider: n-n-o yess fu-fucking breed me!
he chuckled when she screamed that he could tell she was getting close to orgasm as he.
Soap: as you wish princess.
Soap smiled taking her out of the headlock and using his hand to hold her head so he could kiss her deeply all the strength and I dare say love he had..
Soap: I.. Love.. You..
Spider.....(did he really say that?)
They climaxed together he came inside her pussy so much that it was leaking out of her mixing with her pussy juices, they were breathing heavily, tears in her eyes from cumming both of them panting like they were animals mating. (cause they are lol)
He got off of her undoing the belt from her wrist. she sat up on the bed Soap pulled her back on his chest one playing with a tit teasing her nipple and the other hand holding hers.
Soap: Are you okay?
He said, In a soft.. almost affectionate tone, she smiled and nodded her head confirming she was fine...she will be sore tomorrow but thats fine. She joked around with him.
Spider: y-yes I'm fine...geez with how much you came in me Im starting to suspect you want me pregnant with your kid.
Soap: And even if I did? Isnt that what marriage is for.
Soap was joking, He knew that neither of them were ready for that.. But he still liked to tease her, But he had to make sure it was obvious that he was only joking. She was joking but ...she imagined him being a dad to her kids she blushed maybe one day she thought and put a hand on her stomach while holding his hand.
Spider: I think you would be a good dad one day.
Spider could not believe she said that aloud also Soap's face got really red at that thought, Soap laughed a little bit, When he noticed her hand on her stomach, He looked at her a smirk growing on his face.
Soap: What if you're pregnant now, eh?.. I mean.. We are not protected...
Spider: I'm on birth control dum dum.
Soap: oh.. Of course.. You had me scared for a second..
Spider: did my plan work....did you forget about your ex?
Soap: Who? ....oh her....maybe I need a little more convincing
Spider smiled as he kissed her neck giving her love bites that will probably show up tomorrow they laid down spooning, Soap put his cock back inside her pussy she whimpered her cunt still sensitive and pink from the pounding it took they were both falling asleep.
Soap: such a good fit for me....lets stay like this for tonight.
Spider: feels good..feels full...good night Soap....
Soap saw her falling asleep she looked cute like this he thought so peaceful between his arms, he started to fall asleep as well.
Soap: good night Josey....
The sun was just starting to peek above the horizon, Spider and Soap were both still in a state of undress, as they both lay down next to each other on the bed, His arm rested over her body A loud Knock could be heard, And an even louder voice..
????:Johnny!.....John?
It was the voice of his ex..
(and that's where I'm ending it for now holy shit I'm tired I need to still do editing and a bunch of other shit.)
Soldier who unfortunately had mess hall duty: WHO THE FUCK FUCKED UP THIS KITCHEN LIKE THIS GOOD GOD
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