thinking of my gf tonight 😔

!FEED ME!

elena choosing aryna as a doubles partner……..

thinking about eddie picking you up from work everyday and blasting some metal at the most obnoxious volume just to piss off your boss, who he knows you don't like, and if you don't like them then eddie likes them even less

what he says: ‘sorry guys i’m going through a lot rn’

what he means: i’m so horny that my tdick is chaffing against my trousers :/

requested by matt and told to post by @dragongirluvula

🦜🐤

hi nymph!! :)

🦜 a pretty quote

He didn't mention how it was the only message Nathaniel had sent all week. He didn't mention how Nathaniel hadn't responded to anything Andrew had asked. He didn't mention the way that one word had torn through his chest.

here is a quote from chapter 12 of (why is there) joy in this poison :3 i will die with the rule of three gripped tightly in my hands

🐤 a mystery quote

not technically a quote as much as it is a note, but i am working on a story that will probably be a lot more involved than anything i've ever written before, and this is from my researching/studying for that!

[the poem is from LVOE. by Atticus]

im already very excited to work on this story :)

[ WIP bird game ]

Oh it's been such a long time since I've heard "Heart Attack"

*thanks to everyone for making this a fun safe space 🤍 - i'm having fun here while also just creating my own lore.

unpopular opinion maybe but I genuinely love beer so much

no bc i was the opposite i refused to listen to taylor for years even after a period of initially being a big fan bc like, to me she just felt so emblematic of a really narrow view of (white) womanhood that just made me feel upset and alienated. i only got back into her after seeing and interacting with swifties of color and queer swifties and realizing that liking taylor/her music could literally just be fun and something i do on my own terms. all this to say that i also hate the current thing ppl have with “girlhood” too and i appreciate you saying it. if only bc previously i had only seen critiques of it coming from ppl who didn’t like taylor or barbie or whatever, which made it feel like they were suggesting that all swifties were like that or that liking taylor swift was part of the problem

thanks for sending this anon!! as queer woc i have also definitely had times of struggling to feel represented by/like i fit in with this fandom, but the nice thing about someone with as huge of a fanbase as taylor is that you can almost always find pockets of like-minded people to share it with :) i've also seen people using their hatred of barbie/tswift as fuel for their arguments, and it's so frustrating because it sometimes feels like they're looking for an ethical/logical justification to dislike them vs. actually being interested in their critiques. it also erases people like us who are fans of these things. swifties are so often infantilized (this feels dramatic but ykwim) but we're all real people who live full lives outside of fandom, and who can understand the complexities of the way the things we like fit into feminism and culture as a whole.

i think it's beautiful and incredibly meaningful that taylor has gained so much from sharing her experience of girlhood, and that so many women and girls have taken so much from it. i think the way her art builds sacred spaces for the celebration of of womanhood and femininity is invaluable. but the response to this should be to uplift more women's art and create more of these spaces, not to try and fit every woman into a taylor swift-shaped hole box.

tai will never be a good romantic partner. she will pretend she is, she will fake it as much as possible. she'll put on a front that she's the loving person who does the right thing but deep down she knows she isn't. she belittles her partners in order to win arguments and to look like the better one in the situation, she takes offense when her partner tries to get her help and then turns around and tells them they're not allowed the same ( honestly simone and van aren't even that different in that sense, she shares the same hostility to both of them at their attempts at help because she doesn't believe in either of their methods --- the difference being that she tells van she can't find comfort in lottie vs. just brushing off simone's version of help entirely as something that's fake. )

after she fucks up with van ( because i don't need to know what exactly happened to know that it was her fault somehow, even before all the implications from season 2's adult timeline ), she doesn't see romance as a means to happiness. it's not anymore. marriage isn't about love or spending the rest of your life with someone you care about, it's about checking some box to say that she's Doing Something Normal.

my assumption is that simone is the one to propose, and it wasn't something tai was actively thinking about, but to tai, it was like, "okay. this makes sense for me. yeah, i'll get married, i'll have a family, that's what i'm supposed to do." she loved her but she didn't feel "it" and she thought maybe that was supposed to fall in place eventually, but if not, then it was fine, because love wasn't what she was looking for anyway. she was looking for normalcy and that felt right. and she justifies it by knowing that she could still love her and still treat her fine, and she thinks it doesn't actually matter that she isn't completely in love with her, because at least things are (were) still fine between them and she could play pretend all she wants. it's never been fair to simone for tai to treat her like an obligation, like she has to get married and tie herself to someone else just to put on some front for those who might be looking for weaknesses in her, or looking for some kind of proof that she hasn't moved on.

she is just so terrified of having to face the fact that she is not over what happened to her that she is desperately trying to cling to some kind of normalcy instead --- even if it doesn't make her happy. she does the things she thinks she's supposed to do, takes the paths in lives she assumes most people living a normal life would take. "happiness" doesn't really matter to her anymore, what she wants is perfection. and simone was the perfect woman, in every sense -- the perfect wife and perfect mother and that was supposed to be perfect for tai too. i don't think she even fully understands the way she's been using her for 15 years because she's always convinced herself that this is exactly where she should be, even if it doesn't give her that feeling.

it would be extremely rare for her to find a romantic partner post-wilderness that she wasn't just using in some way, whether she was actively aware of it or not. she is searching for someone who is completely different than anything she experienced in the wilderness, because that means she can maybe convince herself that she's part of that normalcy too, but the irony is that she could never truly love someone who doesn't understand that experience in some kind of way. and that's really scary to her, so she has to avoid that thought entirely -- which is why she spent 20+ years completely compartmentalizing van, and frankly, even keeping shauna at a distance too.

Dilraba Dilmurat as Ji Yunhe (The Blue Whisper, 2022)

gemini

what I would give to get my shitty music taste complimented 😔