Coach: Harris! Why do you have one of my players in detention when he should be at lacrosse training?
Harris: Mr Stilinski earned himself detention for disrespectful and disruptive behaviour.
Coach: Stilinski, explain yourself.
Stiles: Well, Coach, Mr Harris thought I was too slow in answering a question so he pointed a ruler at me and said “At the end of this ruler is an idiot”. I asked him, “Which end?”
Coach: *laughing* Go get changed and get your butt on the field, Stilinski.
I was replying to @in2tswft's ask about coach and I fell into a rabbit hole of a conspiracy and it all revolves around one very strange, throw-away line of scripted dialogue (as in this was written into the script and not Orny improvising).
This is from the scene where Stiles pulls the fire alarm. Coach drags him outside and tells him off for pulling the alarm and says "If I were four years younger, I'd... I'd punch you" to which Stiles replies “What? Coach, that doesn't make sense!” and Coach quickly snaps, “Oh, well, it does to me!”
So what difference does four years make? Coach is still a pretty strong, athletic guy, he could definitely land a punch. Maybe four years ago he wasn't a teacher and wouldn't get in as much trouble for punching a kid? Or maybe something happened four years before.
And what happened four years before this?
The Hale house fire.
What if Coach was bound in some way to a member of the Hale family and had supernatural strength that way? And the reason he would have punched Stiles with supernatural strength is because he thinks Stiles is one of the supernatural creatures (he hangs out with the pack, is always there when supernatural things happen, he was the one with the chains in his locker)--and therefore he can't punch him now (as a human) because if Stiles were supernatural, punching him would only hurt Coach.
It would also explain the alcoholism; he's trying to drown his pain and grief after losing someone he loved.
To take this a step further, Coach is very pro-LGBTQIA+.
He supports any students who come out and doesn't judge anyone for who they choose to love. So, what if coach was in love with a man? (gay, bi, pan, aro, ace, whatever you like, but in love with a man) And his lover had a nickname for him, one he has admitted he liked to be called: Cupcake.
i was wondering if you knew of any fics where Derek ends up meeting Coach Finstock through Scott n Stiles n co., and Finstock recognizes him and they reunite with that weird sort of. father son bond that Finstock has with all his students? i haven’t read anything like this, i was just wondering if there was one that existed 🤷♂️ if not, that’s ok, and thank u!!!
Well, I got nothing. 🤷🏻♀️ It reminded me of this one though.
You Can't Dodge Stiles Stilinski by stilinskisparkles | 27.2K | Explicit
“And this is it?” he points at the first girl. “I saw you in first period, you barely bothered to catch any of the balls you were tossed. I’m pretty sure you spent more time on your cell.”
The girl rolls her eyes, and looks completely unashamed of the fact she had her phone out in class. Derek knows Finstock would have stepped on it.
“And you,” he points at the second girl, taller and with eyes that meet Derek’s coolly. “You can’t throw anything worth half a damn. And what are you,” he points at the boy, trying not to look him in the eye, and failing. “A hundred and fifty pounds wet?”
The boy smirks at him, and Derek looks resolutely away. He’s now desperately trying not to picture him wet.
"I can't work with this."
But also I love this fic. ❤️
Coaches Cupcake Coffee House by ChildOfTheRevolution | 4.8K
Danny looked at him as if he were crazy, ‘It means he wants to ride the dick Stiles.’ He said slowly, as if talking to the mentally insane.
‘Ride the dick, my dick?’ Stiles asked weakly.
‘Figuratively speaking of course, Derek looks more like a topper to me. And you, my friend, are a twink of the most twinkiest standards, but I’m not one to judge.’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ Stiles admitted, finding himself in a weird crouch-like stance that he apparently now adopts when he’s overwhelmed about finding out Derek Hotcakes wants to bone him three ways to Sunday.
Coach: Why don’t you tell your buddy Danny to take care of his equipment, or I’m gonna make you take care of his equipment for him. Now, do you really wanna be taking care of Danny’s equipment all the time?
Scott: That depends. Are we still talking about lacrosse pads?