God, recent cartoons are/will be dope.

Just binged Twelve Forever in 3 days (because I wanted to prolong the experience, but failed quickly) and like, even though it’s not the best thing ever it’s super fun and cute. The fact that it’s on Netflix, not only meaning I can watch it without a second thought, but also meaning that they can slip in actual talk about puberty and shit instead of clearly alluding to it while simultaneously sweeping it under the rug, and even bringing up straight-up non-straight relationships, makes it more interesting to watch. Especially with that last one, because without the episode blurbs they totally could’ve slipped Reggie’s crush on Conelly under the rug. I mean, Mack and Beefhouse would still be there, but still.

I was super hopeful that that episode was going to be more like a generic cartoon crush episode, except with a girl-to-girl crush, but maybe something like that will end up in an inevitable Season 2. It’s weird, because usually when I hear about “progressiveness” in cartoons it kind of has a weird aftertaste, where I’m overtly okay with it but have some terrible gut feeling about it for some reason, but this time like 90% of me breaking me trying to prolong the experience was fueled by that episode. I was so excited!

And the Butt Witch is the classic part of most cartoons that make some part of it super creepy and dark. It’s funny, the fact that she has a male voice was fitting somehow, even outside of the obvious lore reason. Plus, you can never pass up a lady with multiple arms~ It’s also weird how, despite clearly being super sexualized, they managed to make her butt the sort of funny-haha-cartoon butt instead of the this-is-a-sexy-cartoon butt. There was a scene of her crawling on her knees for a second, and her but was seriously drawn like it was porn. Trust me, I should know. It was strange, considering the TV-Y7-ness of the show.

It’s not nice to play favorites, obviously, but I definitely think my favorite of the native islanders is Galaxander. First of all, his name is perfect. Second, I die for any kind of star-motif. It’s like he was made for/by me. That bit where he was showing a family photo album, except all the photos were of galaxies and planets, was genuinely the best joke in the entire show. I love it/him. Also, Ester’s nonspecific Saturn powers are really cool, as well as her vaguely retro-futuristic look. Oh, and Pretty Please? It’s always the rabbits. ALWAYS.

Really, the one thing that can sell me on any cartoon is just great art/animation/character design. Without that, I probably would’ve passed this show off as one of those “haha lol xd so ramdom111!!!1!!!” shows. Hell, even something so simple as the thumbnail for the pilot short sold me. Reggie and Shane (may he rest in peace) looked practically identical to a duo dynamic of my own creation (gung-ho long haired ginger and darker, medium-lengthed hair male friend) and that really caught my eye. It’s even funnier, because those two characters also ended up being too similar in concept to Inside Out, meaning I had to change them from that, so I guess they’re just a really “normal” character concept.

Apart from Twelve Forever, we got Mao Mao, Heroes of Pure Heart, also readily accessible via the Cartoon Network website. I love their set up for that, where you just need to log in with a network provider as proof you could’ve watched the episodes live if you wanted to. Anyway, Mao Mao has the same deal as I just mentioned: Mao Mao himself looks super dope. Plus, the overall concept of “Edgy warrior protects innocent town from evil monsters” Is what sold me in the first place. Not only do I get a fair dose of action, but I also get a fair dose of cuteness. Also, the concept of Orangusnake (had to rewatch the first episode with subtitles to figure that name out) is just stupid enough that it works. Also also, Mao Mao’s family clearly being set up as either appearing later as actual, professional warriors or as dopey losers that he thought were just cool is making me super invested. 

Then, Infinity Train. The show with the balls to kill of some random nobody in the first episode. Also, what’s the trend with every lead character in these cartoons having parental issues? Either way, everything seen is dope (even if pointy-chin pilot Tulip is superior) and it’s hard not to want more.

I also just bought the first season of Amphibia so I’ll check back on that, like, tomorrow maybe. Waiting is for the birds. I will say that the giant evil insect designs are amazing so far, from the first episode.

But, Owl House has the potential to overtake ALL of these. Oh my god, who knew that adding a little lip onto a character would instantly make their cuteness skyrocket? Luz (hopefully pronounced “Looz” because that’s how my mind is saying it) is actually one of the cutest characters I’ve ever seen. Plus, she has a tiny pet Cubone! And also the potential for creepy monster designs, amazing stories... The potential is high here. 

That’s not even talking about that “Curse of Molly Mcgee” that we’ve only seen a poster for. It’s like its the era of cute girls. I’m dying here.

I’ve also heard Victor and Valentino is pretty good, with true-to-culture Mexican supernatural stuff. Sounds pretty cool, but due to the lack of cute girls on the poster I’ll wait until I’m bored. I have seen a cute goth girl inside of it, though, so I’ll have to watch to see where she fits in. I’m a sucker for thick eye liner and eyelashes(?) that are only visible on the lower half of the eye. 

That’s not even it, either. There’s bound to be something I’m forgetting. OK KO Is also dope but I’ve been watching that for a while, and Hilda’s pretty sweet, but is also old news (until we get another season). Like, so many modern cartoons are so great. Who needs anime?

Netflix Shifts Gears with 'Special,' a Gay Comedy About Being in a Different Kind of Closet

here’s what you can expect from Netflix’s new (short!) comedy series “Special.”

"Special" signals a change may be in store for Netflix.

Based on the life and 2015 memoir "I'm Special: And Other Lies We Tell Ourselves" by Ryan O'Connell, the new comedy series, debuting on the streaming service Friday, follows a version of the 31-year-old writer. Like the real O'Connell, the character he plays, Ryan Keyes, is a young openly gay man with cerebral palsy. "Special" tracks Ryan after he scores an internship at a popular blog called Egg Woke as well as his relationship with his single mother Karen (the wonderful Jessica Hecht) as he plans to finally move out of her home.

"Special," where Jim Parsons and his husband Todd Spiewak serve as executive producers, is unlike any other comedy on TV. Not just in terms of content — the show gives a platform to a unique voice with a different outlook on life that's never been shown on the small screen before, but also when it comes to structure. In a way, "Special" feels like a throwback series; something like "High Maintenance" before it aired on HBO and lived online as a popular web series. It's a brisk comedy consisting of eight episodes that clock in at just fifteen minutes each — a first for a Netflix sitcom. That means the first season is two hours in total and plays out like the first two acts of a really long rom-com. It's an easily binge-able watch that can be done in one sitting and the season's bite-size length results in a fresh and lean show, where O'Connell writes all the episodes (he's written for TV before, penning episodes for "Will & Grace") and Anna Dokoza serves as director.

The comedy's short runtime is a testament to how smart and funny "Special" can be. It moves quickly and doesn't waste a moment. The show starts off with Ryan getting involved in a minor car accident, just before he scores his gig at Egg Woke. He's a little bruised but he uses the accident to hide his cerebral palsy from his new coworkers, effectively putting him in a different kind of closet. (This actually happened to O'Connell in real life when he was 20 and detailed the experience for the Thought Catalog at the time.) Though he's comfortable with his sexuality — talking about boys with his mom and his new work BFF Kim (a great performance from Punam Patel), the website's top blogger — Ryan is still struggling with being labeled as "a gay disabled man." He thrives for independence and acceptance but hasn't yet dealt with those issues internally.

Like all sitcoms, a lot of hijinks and tension comes from Ryan's need to keep up the ongoing lie. But the best parts of "Special" are Ryan's relationship between his mother and Kim. Hecht doesn't play Karen as a typical TV mom and O'Connell writes her as a fleshed-out woman, presumably after his own mother. Though she can be overbearing and overprotective of Ryan, she has agency and needs. And like her son, she's got a secret of her own: Karen strikes up a relationship with Phil (Patrick Fabian), her salt-and-pepper haired new next-door neighbor. One part of Karen's life that's underdeveloped is her relationship with her mom, Ryan's grandmother. In one episode, we see Karen, a nurse, taking care of her aging mother and it's an important moment that contextualizes Karen's relationship with Ryan. But she never appears in "Special" again this season, likely leaving viewers wanting a bit more.

Patel's Kim, too, is a fully realized character. A plus-sized woman of color, Kim is mostly an open book and hilarious, but also kind, willing to help Ryan settle into Egg Woke and introduce him to her own friends. The only character on "Special" that feels contrived is Olivia (Marla Mindelle), the editor-in-chief of the website, who is an updated version of Meryl Streep's "The Devil Wears Prada" diva Miranda Priestly.

At times "Special" feels like it is set in 2008; at a time when the now-defunct Gawker was one of the most important websites in the world and ruled Internet culture. Ryan says "LOL" out loud (as in, "loll") and the vibe of Egg Woke feels comparable to the fictional magazine in the 2004 romcom "13 Going On 30." That makes sense since O'Connell thrived during the rise of the blogging age but it can be jarring when a character references something modern, like the 2015 film "Room" or car-sharing services making you remember "Special" is set in 2019.

In such a short amount of time, "Special" effortlessly moves from being sweet to being nasty and even shockingly raw. An episode dealing with Ryan's virginity is brave while never getting too saccharine. The season ends on a bit of a clichéd cliff hanger-of-sorts but it doesn't come close to sinking the show. With 15-minute episodes the comedy comes into its own without overstaying its welcome. O'Connell, however, recently told Vulture it wasn't his idea to do short episodes.

"I'm a half-hour bitch, okay? That's what I know. Honey, I don't go chasing 15-minute waterfalls," he explained. "I stick to the rivers and lakes that I'm used to, and that is a 30-minute show, okay? I'm actually really glad that Netflix bought it as is because if they wanted to do a half hour, I'd have to rewrite the entire series and that would not be fun.

"But for season two, mama wants a half hour!" he added.

If Netflix grants "Special" a second season, it'll still be O'Connell's brainchild and interesting if the sitcom and still feel its oats while being twice as long.

Tagging games #5

I’ve been tagged by @fandom-glazed and wanted to do this anyway, so here we go! Tagging anyone who wants to do this ^__^ 1. what’s your favorite way to dress? Black all the way. I’m a fancy goth on the inside and trying (but most likely failing) on the outside. 2. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? Not to be so voulnerable to the people that mean a lot to me would be nice. Not getting attached so fucking fast. 3. What movie/game/etc. helps you calm down? I tend to love movies reducing me to a sobbing mess, so that doesn’t count as calming me down, does it? As for a series, I’m all for Merlin BBC at the moment which I watch unfrequently with @fandom-glazed on Netflix and usually laugh my ass off at Arthur and Merlin’s antics. :D 4. What does your room smell like? Dust, nailpolish, some tea and the slightly burnt smell of my old heaters. 5. Do you like to organize? Hell fucking no. I’m an ADD person, nope, I don’t. 6. What kind of music would you listen to if you could only choose one? German rock / gothic rock. Unheilig, Staubkind, Blutengel, Lord of the Lost, Letzte Instanz, that kind of thing. Not that either of those bands would ring a bell with most of tumblr users, I assume. 7. What song is your aesthetic? Oh man, making me choose there is mean. Ghost Love Score by Nightwish, Stand my ground by Within Temptation, Morgana by Lord of the Lost. Hard and heavy. 8. What color do you think goes best with your personality? Crimson like my hair right now, probably. 9. Do you believe in auras? Nope. 10. What do you wish you hated, but actually like? Ballet. To wish for having been introduced to how to ruin your body in the most beautiful way as a child is kind of unhealthy. 11. Vague about your crush(es) Valentin Winter / van Porcelain. That man. Go to his tumblr @valentinvanporcelaine and dare ask me again why I’m addicted to his aesthetics. 12. Is there someone you have mixed feelings towards? Yep. Not talking about specific people in my personal life here tho.  13. Talk about an AU or story you came up with Oh boy, here we go. If you get me started on my vampire novels, we’ll be here all day and I won’t even be half way finished. I adore my own characters to a decree that might be weird, I ship some of them and the main gay pair Count Louis and his life long best friend and personal vassal Chris, later Knight of Alderton, to death and writing anything with those two idiots in love soothes me so much. The main trilogy (A shimmer of Red, Black and Silver respectively) is huge (as in 200k for the first, 140k for the second and 110k as of yet for the unfinished third) but not finished yet, I’m almost there and would have been a year ago if I’d just get my arse out of the Fantastic Beasts Fandom and saunter off to writing my own stuff again. Unfortunately, Albus and Gellert own my ass at the moment and I’m overflowing with plotbunnies that won’t go away on their own. I know my mind. I need to write them all down before I get any peace at all. Lol. 14. Do you like makeup? No, not really, I like sharp-winged-eyeliner though. 15. Do you prefer space or the ocean? Ocean all the way. Space is fascinating and I’m a massive nerd for SpaceX because their projects are so promising for the future of mankind, but standing at the shore, being able to breathe properly again (asthma kid here, hi) and cry from sheer relief of hearing the waves crash against the cliff or roll onto the beach again is my life blood. I’ll have that next week again. Fucking finally. The sea soothes me so, so much and I suffer from constant longing for distance. We have a very fitting word for the feeling in German. Fernweh. Roughly translated to “I want to get far away from here so much it hurts.” Yeah, that’s the German language right there for you. 16. If you could pick any planet besides earth, where would you live? Pandora, probably. You know, three meters tall blue humanoids, a captivating nature, trees large enough to be a bother for the planet’s rotation, probably? Yeah. I’d like that very much. 17. What form of government do you like the most? (capitalism, socialism, etc.) I’m quite content with the German system of Social economy. Pure capitalism, socialism and communism are shit, don’t work in the long run and should just be abolished altogether. 18. What animal would you keep as a pet, if you could? Give me a black cat, please 19. What do you think our purpose is in the universe? To find our place between the stars, become a multi planetary species and to develop a way that’s not as destructive to the planet we inhabit. There’s a beautiful sentence that sums it all up in Interstellar from Cooper: “We might have been born on earth, but we don’t have to die here.” 20. Do you believe in god(s)? Nope. Atheist all the way. Before anyone misunderstands me, though: believe whatever you want to, I don’t judge people for their religion, it’s just so not my tea. 21. Is there a song you can’t handle listening to, even though you like it? Yep. Chasing cars by Snow Patrol. 22. What ex do you miss the most, if you have one? Mean question. I only have an ex-girlfriend and sometimes I miss her gentleness and how instantly she saw right through me, but she replaced me, we’ve been done for a bit more than five years now and I’m over her. :) 23. Do you like soft, fluffy blankets or rough/smooth blankets? Soft, fluffy blankets all the way. 24. What is your favorite thing to learn about? History. What do you think I’d study that for? :D 25. What country’s history do you find the most interesting? Man, that’s a mean one again. I’m pretty solid on English history, but I don’t know the first thing about Asian history altogether because german schools don’t teach that and we’ve got a different subject for Asian culture in university so it’s not included in my must-do-schedule too, but I’d like to learn more about it soon. 26. What do you think about genderbent ____ (insert someone here) Nope, noping right out, nopedinopenope, not my tea. At all. 27. What breakup was the hardest, if you had one? The one I had was... bad. Not talking about that here any further tho. 28. Do you have someone where you can’t decide if you like them romantically or just as a friend? A couple of weeks ago, my answer would have been yes, but I’ve got that all sorted out now. Not dwelling on it, though. It doesn’t matter. 29. What do you think about tumblr discourse? Ughhh. Exhausting most of the time. I loved the metas in the Sherlock fandom before it all fell apart and I like Fantastic Beasts metas, but people get so emotional so fast that normal discussions are all but impossible here. 30. What instrument do you wish you could master? Piano. Still salty that I’ve been forced to stop that as a child. 31. How easy is it for you to be honest? Very. I’m a very honest person and I’m shite at lying. 32. Do you have any strange interests? Fandoms, probably? xD I find fossils infinetely fascinating, anything conserning dragons (that sounds strange in context, I’m well aware that they don’t exist) and the way stars are born in large nebulas is something poetic to me. 33. Do you have any strange fears? Strange? I dunno, I’ve just about ran out of the kitched screaming at the top of my lungs when a fucking spider dropped ON MY HEAD yesterday evening, you tell me if that’s strange. Drowning would suck a lot, I guess. Anything that makes you suffocate. Nope. 34. What food do you binge on when you’re lazy? Toast with something on it. I did that in exam week last week, not because I’m lazy but because I just did not have the time or the nerves for cooking. 35. When you get angry, how do you show it? I go all quiet and drill my posture to absolute perfection until it hurts. You’ll notice when I’m mad. Seldom happens, though, I’m hard to offend. 36. Do you have any impulsive movements? (twitches, ticks, flapping, etc.) Picking fingers. Bad habit that I’m trying to get rid of. 37. What do you listen to music on? YouTube and Spotify on the PC, used my phone a massive lot for that during the summer too but now with all the layers of jackets and coats and such it’s a bit hard to stuff my large phone anywhere. 38. Are you left brained or right brained? Uhhhh what? I’m right handed, but I don’t think I have any tendencies otherwise. 39. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds. 40. Do you like light blankets or heavy blankets? Light blankets for around the flat, heavy in bed. I’d like to be able to breathe.

Its 3:31 pm

Welcome to a another edition of “8 Questions with…..” I’m pretty jazzed up for today’s interview with George Rother. I’m finally getting to talk with a fellow film buff and critic who is very much like myself. And just like most SERIOUS film buffs,George just doesn’t stick with the latest blockbusters or trendy releases,he isn’t afraid to explore quality foreign offerings or B-movie fun. If it can be seen on a screen,George is there to offer fair and quality insight and honestly,one can spend hours on his website Movie Guy 24/7. I know because the cheetah and I have spent a few visits checking out some classics from days gone by. George also has a crazy interactive Facebook page with over 10,000 followers who enjoy talking films in a respectful way which is rather refreshing to see. I’ll post a link down below after the interview. But for now,let’s go ask George his 8 Questions…….

  Please introduce yourself and tell us a little about Movie Guy 24/7

 My name is George Rother. I am a lifelong movie lover. I started Movie Guy 24/7 in 2010 after health reasons forced me to retire early. I’m primarily a film critic but I do more than review movies. If you go on the Movie Guy 24/7 FaceBook page, I post things daily. I offer up trivia, I ask questions, I give challenges, I put up songs, clips and trailers from movies. I do all sorts of things to interact with my fans/friends. 

What makes film so important to you?

Film has been a constant in my life. I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up so I often went to the movies by myself. I got used to it actually. Film has always been a subject of interest to me. Even as a kid, I wanted to see adult-oriented films like All That Jazz, The Rose, Apocalypse Now and Kramer vs. Kramer. Of course, that pesky parental R-rated movie block kept getting in the way. LOL! Anyway, I just felt at home getting caught up in a filmed story. I became a regular filmgoer at 13 and always seemed to know more about movies than other people my age. 

Are movies better today then when you started watching them? What are the three biggest changes besides budgetsand special effects that you like/dislike from films of yesterday and today?

LOL! I hate to resort to cliches but they sure don’t make them like they used to. Most of today’s movies are so impersonal. They’re not art, they’re made by committee. A lot of them are derivative. Comedies aren’t funny anymore; they’re just foul, gross and vulgar. PG-13 horror movies are the cinematic equivalent of watered-down alcoholic drinks. Blockbusters are little more than convoluted, CGI-heavy noisefests. I don’t really care for CGI; it looks too fake. Give me old school practical effects any day. 

What makes a movie a “classic” in your eyes?

 That’s a subjective thing. Everybody has their own ideas as to what makes a movie classic. If pressed, I suppose I’d have to say longevity. Will it hold up 5, 10, 20 years from now? Sadly, not many of today’s movies are future classics. 

Did you feel Hollywood has played a huge part in the rise of gun violence with so many violent shoot-’em ups?

 There has always been shooting in movies. Look at the old westerns from the 20s and 30s. Look at the gangster movies from that era. They seemed very violent at the time. Nowadays, filmmakers can get away with showing a lot more. However, I think the depiction of gun violence in film (and TV) has little to do with the rise in real life gun violence. I think it has to do with a person’s nature and/or their surroundings. 

What is a difference between a movie critic and a movie buff?

 LOL! Why can’t somebody be both? OK, here’s my answer. A movie critic watches a film analytically whereas a movie buff is passionate about film in general. In other words, business vs. pleasure. 

What five films/five stars/five directors are you favorites and why?

 WOW! That’s a tall question. Let’s start with favorite movies. If you mean all-around cinematic perfection, perfect in every way, I’d have to say Casablanca. If you mean what movie gives me the most pleasure, I’d say the 1982 version of Conan the Barbarian. I can’t really give you a top 5 here so I’ll just give you my favorites in a few genres. Sci-fi: (tie) Blade Runner and 2001: A Space Odyssey, Horror: The Shining, Comedy: A Fish Called Wanda, Cop: Sharky’s Machine, Action: First Blood, Action-Adventure: Raiders of the Lost Ark, Drama: Gandhi and Western: Once Upon a Time in the West. Okay, top 5 (no particular order) lists coming up. My five favorite actors are Jack Nicholson, Clint Eastwood, Steve McQueen, Harvey Keitel and Samuel L. Jackson. My five favorite actresses are Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn, Scarlett Johansson, Audrey Hepburn and Ingrid Bergman. My five favorite directors are David Lynch, David Fincher, Quentin Tarantino, Alejandro Jodorowsky and Martin Scorsese. I don’t really have a reason why other than I like what/who I like.

 Is streaming going to kill both the theater experience and pyschical media in your opinion?

 I hope that there will always be movie theaters. Nothing matches the experience of seeing a film on the big screen. However, I think more and more small-to-medium budgeted films will premiere on streaming services. It will definitely cut into box office revenue. As for me, I will always see films at a theater.

What five films/fiver stars/fivedirectors do you dislike the most and why?

 Ah, my dislikes. Okay, here’s my Top 10 Worst Movies starting with 1979’s Caligula, In my not-so-humble opinion, that is the absolute worst film EVER! It is a vile, disgusting, degrading, depressing and artless piece of crap. The rest of the list is as follows: (2) Basic Instinct 2, (3) Windows, (4) It’s Pat: The Movie, (5) Gummo, (6) Wild Wild West, (7) Baby Geniuses, (8) Knock Off, (9) Dangerous Game and (10) Born American. My five worst actors/actresses: Tom Cruise, Roseanne Barr, Rosie Perez, Ben Affleck and Steven Seagal. Five worst directors: (1) and (2) are Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the guys behind lousy spoofs like Disaster Movie, Vampires Suck and Meet the Spartans. The others are Michael Bay, William “One Shot” Beaudine (Billy the Kid vs. Dracula, Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter) and William Shatner (ever see Star Trek V?).

Your Facebook page is rising fast in popularity,what makes it such a hot spot for fans?

 I guess I’m just lucky. I try to make the page fun for everybody. It’s geared towards movie geeks like myself but I also try to make it accessible for casual movie fans.

What is your impression of TV in general?

 For years, I regarded TV as a cultural wasteland. I had no interest in it. As of late, it’s changed a lot. Episodic TV is rapidly becoming popular. Some stories just can’t be told in two hours. Look at Killing Eve and Big Little Lies. My wife and I do a lot of binge watching in the summer. Right now, we’re doing Stranger Things. It’s great. In May/June, we did all eight seasons of Game of Thrones. It was great too.  The other great thing is when a network cancels a good show like Designated Survivor, it might get picked up by a streaming outlet like Netflix. I’d say TV has come a very long way.

The cheetah and I are flying in to catch you hosting a film festival but we’re a day early and now you are playing tour guide,what are we doing?

 If I was to show you guys around Philadelphia, I’d probably take you to some places where movies were shot. Of course, we’d have to go to Philly’s best cheese steak joint, Jim’s on South Street. After that, who knows? Maybe we’ll catch a movie at one of the Ritz Theaters here in town.

I like to thank George for graciously taking the time to talk film and TV with us today. The cheetah and I seriously recommend following George’s Facebook page for Movie Guy 24/7.  Tell’em that we sent you…..you won’t be sorry and you’ll be very entertained! I should have asked George if Jim’s Steaks delivers……..

While the cheetah and I don’t have 10k fans as of yet,we too have a Facebook page called Have Cheetah,Will View which we hope you’ll drop by and join up…

Thank you all for your support,we have a whole new crop of interviews coming including two of my biggest names yet. Stay tuned…….

8 Questions with…………. film buff George Rother of Movie Guy 24/7 Its 3:31 pm Welcome to a another edition of "8 Questions with....." I'm pretty jazzed up for today's interview with George Rother.

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  Five years.

That’s how long it took me to fully embrace my role as a stay-home mum.

I stopped being the worst critic on myself, my choice & my lifestyle.

A fixed mindset since childhood played an enormous factor in my judgemental inner voice, together with my search of new identity in a world that does not value the contributions of a stay-home mum.

My own struggles of a stay-home mum were really about my self-worth. My own expectations, parents’ expectations, the world’s expectations…

Before we go further, all mothers, whether you are a working mum or stay home mum, both have their own set of challenges and rewards. No judgement on which choice a mum makes because either way, we are all on the journey of parenthood and giving the best we can to our children.

I’ve been a stay-home mum since my first born. I don’t represent ALL SAHMs but I can share my own experiences for the past 5 years as one.

Here are some sample quotes I’ve heard since I decided to be a stay-home mum:

“Huh, you’re a degree holder? Wasted.”

“Your husband is the sole bread winner. Aren’t you worried?”

“Tsk, it’s a career suicide. Don’t stay home for more than XXX years. If not, it’s near impossible to re-enter the work force.”

“How long are you planning to be a sahm?”

And the ultimate “So, what do you do all day?” 

To be honest, I don’t blame anyone for such comments. Yet again, the insecurities are REAL. I spent the last few years afraid I can’t integrate back into the workforce, wondering whether I will become obsolete, whether I’d wasted by education, whether I’d made the right choice for my family financially…

So, for the longest time, I’ve been letting my own guilt eat me up from the inside.

Was I happy raising my kids? Yes.

Then I came across this quote that summed up my pivotal moment:

“Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it’s to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential — as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth.

You’ll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you’re doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you’ll hear about them.

To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.” ― Bill Watterson

  The Rise Of the NEW Modern Day SAHM 

I decided to be part of the revolution of the modern day stay-home mum. The one who gave up a career to stay home. The one who chose to stay home to contribute significantly in cultivating & educating her children. Most of these stay-home mums are well-educated. They read extensively on early childhood education, doing their utmost best to give their children a homeschool environment in the early years. They babywear, cook, clean, get their hands & knees deep in shit every.single.day.

I’m glad to be able to witness every single milestone, being there for both my baby’s firsts, wiping each tear off their faces, encourage them each time they fall, capturing their smiles at the end of the day.

The ‘work’ that modern day stay-home mums do at home is the sort of quiet sacrifice does not yield immediate satisfaction or results that the world expects.

  FIND JOY AS A SAHM, A LETTER TO MYSELF & TO ALL SAHMs

Dear Mom,

Firstly, know that you are more than enough. 

It’s easy to fall into a trap thinking you are failing as a mother. You see pictures of other mums doing intricate crafts, Montessori, RIE, Reggio, STEM, homeschool, baby sleeping through, reaching milestones & you wonder whether the problem is you.

No.

You are more than enough.

You struggle to breastfeed, not to breastfeed, to put your precious one to sleep, survived sleepless nights, hear stories of other babies sleeping through yet yours is waking up every 2 hours, endure the mess of weaning your baby, whether to do BLW, not to do BLW (baby-led weaning).

And then the baby gets a fever & all parenting rules go out the window.

The tough times will pass.

Loving your child is the best thing you can do. A hug, a kiss, a song, a cuddle.

  Enjoy your children.

The days are long but the years are short.

Make memories with them. Simple, joyful memories. Children do not need expensive holidays (though travelling with them is great if possible.) toys nor do they require constant stuff to keep them occupied.

A trip to the beach, the park, the zoo, reading with them and preparing a simple meal. Or even lying down together doing absolutely nothing on a weekday afternoon. No agenda, relishing that chill weekday afternoon because you are a SAHM and you absolutely deserve it!

Create beautiful memories for your children that will last a lifetime.

Distractions like household chores can wait.

You are a SAHM for the kids, not to do housework 24/7.

These are not important. And they are neverending anyway.

As C.S. Lewis said,”Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.”

  Take Time For Yourself.

A mere 10 minutes is better than none. Of course, I’m not talking about taking an entire day for yourself because that requires help either financially or relationally which I understand some mums simply do not have enough of such help.

I’m talking about daily time outs that are necessary for mum-survival! LOL

It really depends on the individual. Some prefer to zone out, watch Netflix, take a walk or take a nap.

Mine’s chilling over coffee breaks & night time binge TV.

It’s never easy looking after one, two or four kids. I’ve yet to reach a stage where I hide in the pantry for some solitude.

Find out what works for you and your children. My boys love tea breaks. They’ll quieten down over snacks which gives me a few minutes of much needed down time.

  Find Purpose In What You Do

Whether a Mum chooses to work, had to work or quit to stay home, embrace that choice!

This quote by Judith Warner sums it up:

“I found that when women were able to act in line with their natural inclinations and ambitions — whether to work or stay at home — they were generally happy, and generally felt that their children were happy too. Whereas those whose natural inclinations and ambitions had been thwarted — whether they were working or stay-at-home mums — were sure that they and their kids would be better off if they changed course, and either went to work or went home. The morality of the situation– whether they felt it was good or bad for their children— derived, not from some external sense of the morality of their “choices,” but from the amount of happiness generated by any given arrangement.” ― Judith Warner, Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety

It’s tempting to think about the ‘What Ifs’ or look across and wonder whether the grass is greener on the other side. But trust me that often than not, another Mum is wondering the exact same thing while looking over yours.

It has been a journey of faith as I stay home to raise my boys hands on. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Xoxo,

Jingyi

    Finding Joy as a SAHM Five years. That's how long it took me to fully embrace my role as a stay-home mum.