#binch do u think i have room to judge
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!!! grey the amount of love and understanding you have for newt is outstanding and honestly your portrayal has made me fall in love with this nerd even more than i already was. you delve deeper into who he is and how he works, and the fact that your hcs are only backed by canon further proves that you're incredible and i love writing with you across my way too many blogs
beep beep ❈ ― @seapromised
this is what kills the grey
hi i’ve gotten really emotional every time i’ve looked at this since you sent it and i just wanna say thank you sm bc god... this is really encouraging ;u; ♡
#seapromised#❇ ― 〈 owl post 〉 asks: ooc.#❇ ― 〈 like gold to a niffler 〉 saved.#'across my way too many blogs'#binch do u think i have room to judge#lmfao gohan i love u sm ♡♡♡#❇ ― 〈 worrying means you suffer twice 〉 queue.
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session 18
Session 18
Sunday, February 28, 2021 7:33 PM
- "we're all gonna die"
- Lilguerite talking about soup and secondary soups and tertiary soups
- Last week on
- We went to the hideout thing
- In the prison thing
- "you take little bites you fool"
o "take bigger bites you fool" - marguerite, judging marianne
- There's a minotaur
- We tried killing this one guy but it didn't work lmao rip us
- 6 for initiative
- 19 for L (22}
- 14 for M (17}
- Theo shoots, misses (10}
- Dwarf
o Sylvia: "how big is his ass"
- Dwarf has an axe
o Aerana is probably the closest
■ Is hit
■ I'm unconscious
■ "I'm expendable" "no binch I won't take any of this negativity"
- Halfling asks theo for the lockpick
o Theo gives it to her
- Asyna turns into a crocodile
o
- Adam o o o o o
Tries to bite and misses
Cutting words Hits
Next minute dwarf is completely unconscious Strums one note for hypnotic pattern
Falls on his face (the dwarf not adam}
- Time to go get his keys
- Asyna has to roll a saving throw as a crocodile (17} ; she's fine
- Cel adds 8 to aerana
- Asyna turns into ape, grabs key, 11+2 for dex
- Throws keys to adam
- Adam lets big boys out first
o minotaur, ogre, another w ogre-like features but not quite sure what type of creature it is
- Cel lets out human and drow
- Asyna takes battle axe
- Asyna looks through pockets, 4 for investigation
- Asyna gives adam the axe and gives the axe to the minotaur
- Theo gets lockpick back
- Aerana moves to the back bc she's casually bleeding out
o Aerana in back with sword
- Asyna still an ape
- Theo doing smth I didn't hear lmao oops sorry lillian
- Dwarf gets up
- Adam "so you wanna surrender now?"
o Dwarf grunts
o Adam tells minotaur to sic him
- Cel rolls to hit, dirty 20 w disad
- theo rolls to hit, 15 w disad
o Cel hits
■ 12 damage
■ "can I shoot him in the ass?"
- Adam has to persuade minotaur
o 11, persuades and minotaur
o Hits, 21 damage
- Back to theo
o 18 to hit
o 9 damage
- Halfling looks around, turns to squad, says we have everything covered
o Adam asks for any helpful things
■ 27 for ?? Persuasion ??
- Asyna
o
□
□
21 to hit
Sighs and has a crude shiv and walks up and shivs the dwarf Hits, damage ig
o 6 damage
- Dwarf uses half his movement to stand, tries to run
o 18 damage from ppl around
- Asyna gets to hit again
o 21 to hit, 9 damage
- He runs off to the right
o Adam is like 80? Ft away from him, casts sleep ?
- Cel peeks out, sees arena with a bunch of blood
o No bodies ???????? Ew
- Arbys is the minotaur
o Because he's got the Meats
- Dom asks us for our passive perception
o We apparently don't see the thing
- Drow woman steps out
- Does blood trail stop?
o Adam investigating, 11
■ "sure" there's a trail of blood leading to wall, adam pushes wall, it swings inwards
- Cel goes in first, adam right behind her
- "are you guys finding the way out?" "we're finding the way in, dawg"
- Inviting them to come with us
- Ask them their names
o Human names
■ Arthritis
□ "there you go. He's smoking hot"
□ This is an elderly man
□ Why are we into him
♦
■ Claudio
■ Jia
OH WE'RE NOT ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT ARTHRITIS
o Drow
■
■
■
Raylan Arwindar(?}
"if you follow quickly, minotaurs have an uncanny ability to memorize where they've been"
Looks @ asyna and aeranan and in elvish says if we're interested in visiting below, operation works on level 5
□ Puts on a ring and disappears
o Humans choose to follow minotaur
o Halfling is gone
- We can still pass without a trace
o Time to go down secret passage
- Adam peeks head into somewhere and sees four pillars glowing w sickly green/yellow light
o 100 ft long
o Urns scattered throughout
o Via thaumaturgy dims the lights, walks over to urns
■ Stealth check to go to urns
■ 30 stealth, notices some things abt room
□ Nine alcoves in wall; ones he can see have murals w beholders painted on them
□ Diff patterns + colors + eyestalk shapes
□ Large statues of beholder heads that look similar to the ones in the murals placed in front of them
□ To right, carved stone display of a scowling beholder flanked by two statues of wizards
□ Beneath each wizard's hood a light that pulses
□ The pillars are kinda pillars but they have bubbling liquids w a beholder n all of its eyes shuts in the tank
- Adam wants to let them out
o "bitch what the fuck" - sylvia
- Adam looks back at everyone else and says "what the fuck"
- There's an exit to the south, ahead of us
- Adam investigates
o Walks up to biggest beholder and "no don't do that" (sylvia} looks at it
o They're frozen in a serene pose; the furthest one is jet black and chonky, larger than the one that attacked our house
- Adam looks inside an urn
o Adam makes constitution save
o Dirty 20
o Unique smell that makes adam wanna puke
o Quickly shoves lid back on, adam picks up urn and takes it with him
o No one is hiding in alcoves
- Go out south door, see a hallway that looks like another hallway we were in earlier
o In front is heavyset wooden door, another passageway extending to right
o Door swings open, aerana looks inside; pitch dark which is unusual
■ Heavy desk made of stone in corner, ornate chair behind it w a spider motif
■ Bookshelves not really w any books
■ Two open crates
■ 25 for perception
□ Nat20 bois "it's an 8" "no it's a 6" - lillian and marguerite
◆ Spider motif gives off drow vibes
◆ Crates: stuffed beholders in them
◊ Grabs a bunch of them
◆ Small statues in other crate like trophy depicting smaller beholder being caressed by hands
◊ Looks kinda nice
◊ Some type of stone
◆ Empty bookshelves
◆ Chair smushed
◆ Drawers in the desk? Pull desk back
◊ Nat20, we move desk and it grates against stone; see different compartments in desk
◊ Nothing on or behind the walls
► Asyna recognizes chair theme
- Not made of wood, made of mushrooms
- 13 history check
• Looks like a chair from menzo bonanza
• Basically drow capital
• Asyna remembers that her mother used to hide things in her chair
•
•
- "guys there's a key in the chair. Can we look for a keyhole"
14 investigation
There's a sealed compartment in the chair, pulls out a small black key
o Try desk keyholes
o Left cabinet
■ Silvery silken sack
□ "what's in the sack" - adam
□ Asyna pulls out sack, hard to see
♦
♦
♦
♦
♦
♦
o Right drawer
Nothing in it
Adam cannot tell us what it is
Jacob cannot tell us what it is either Asyna puts her hand in it, feels around Fits her arm in the bag
Tardis bag
■ Heavy tome
■ "it's not even a book. It's like a tome. This big black book"
■ Wrapped in webbing
■ Asyna recognizes it as just a typical book protector
■ Pages of symbols n words; some in elvish
■ Arcana check 17
□ It's a wizard's spellbook
- Use naya to find the jailer
o Goes out of pathway and to left
o Let's go kids
- Puts a plushie in the bag
o Puts 30 plushies in bag, they fall out one at a time
o Bag does not get heavier
o Puts urn in the bag
o Takes urn back out
o Only fluff in the plushies
o 10 investigation to see if there's anything in the plushies
■ Yellow n blue beholder
o Puts book in sack
- Aerana wonders if turning bag inside out is infinite
o Everything falls on the floor
■ The animals and the trophies
- Theo steps into the bag
o Put on the ground, oh never mind it's been 15 minutes
- 70 ft down hallway, see an eyeball thing
o Looks like a living thing, alien, looks back and forth every once in awhile
o Doesn't see us
o Sneak past it?
■ Narrow hallway
o Theo + aerana 20 to hit, same time
o Cel 17 to hit
■ Creepy shriek noise
■ Liquid slips out, drips, turns into cloud of green dust
o Dust in the bag
o Adam tries to do monster lines
o "now it's a bag of . beholding" - lillian, 2021
o We get some beholder dust in the bag by blowing
- Hallway continues, ends at a doorway w heavy wooden door w side passage and stairs heading up
o Naya looking up
o Adam peeking into other door
o Black smoke billows out of room, adam sees room lit with a halfling male with a dirty apron on, running around frantically
■ Appears to be cooking
■ Adam opens door and salutes
■ "head chef I'm here to help ! I was sent by the upper"
□ "finally I haven't had a break"
□ Gives adam the apron and mans leaves
◆ Leaves out off to right
□ "does the apron say anything"
□ Cel says if we survive she'll embroider "kiss the chef" on the apron
■ Adam puts food on top of rack, two halflings on bottom?
■ Adam rolls 14 investigation, sees one dirty apron and chef's hat combo
□ Aerana puts on chef's hat and apron
□ Thinks this is stupid
□ Asyna and aerana cook
□ Nvm asyna and aerana r following naya
- Adam pushing cart towards good smelling food
o V elegant chef ppl walking around
o Hallway transforms into smth less dingy
o Two large stoves
o Spice rack
o More elegance here
o Seven chef ppl
o Two small beholders; gazers
■ Floating above, chef gazers
o "well fuck you too" ???? Cel to adam ???
o Adam goes to most important looking chef and says he's responding to duty, says he was instructed to feed lord silgar but bc new doesn't know where to go
■ Gives self bardic inspiration
■ 17 for deception
□ Chef goes "what are u doing w that"
□ Can't give food to silgar
□ Cobalts look like little lizard ppl
□ Adam instructed to follow stairs from outside
◆ Left right left right again for xant chambers
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my platonic gf made me do this (even tho she’s not on tumblr rn)
1. What is you middle name? - San Roque
2. How old are you? - 16
3. When is your birthday? - November 11, 2002
4. What is your zodiac sign? - Sun: Scorpio Moon: Aquarius
5. What is your favorite color? - Dark colors in general (mostly maroon, blue and monochrome)
6. What’s your lucky number? - 11 or 13
7. Do you have any pets? - 3 dogs (but i rlly take care of 1)
8. Where are you from? - Philippines, Metro Manila
9. How tall are you? - 5’5” and a half
10. What shoe size are you? - I think 9-10 (???)
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? - 3 (4 if u include my school shoes)
12. What was your last dream about? - I was in school and we were peforming for a rlly big event (it was shitty)
13. What talents do you have? - I can play the guitar, barely sing, sorta dance, and some chinese
14. Are you psychic in any way? - When it comes to my sister, and some romantic situations irl, and i can predict scenes from movies i havent seen
15. Favorite song? oh god that’s hard, the soundtracks for both heathers and six, every song in my g a y playlist in spotify (king princess, joji, billie eilish, rizha, etc.)
16. Favorite movie? - The girl king (despite the annoying power dynamic0 and heathers (despite the cringe) and almost every marvel movie
17. Who would be your ideal partner? - @alexconfusion if u weren’t such a fuqing baby (fyi, @alexgoestosleep i wont steal them from u, they’re just sorta my ideal type)
18. Do you want children? - Like one or two (girls preferably)
19. Do you want a church wedding? - Hell nah (but ill be fine either way)
20. Are you religious? - Sorta (raised a catholic, but my faith waivers)
21. Have you ever been to the hospital? - Nope just visited folks
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? - nah
23. Have you ever met any celebrities? - Regine velasquez at snr once
24. Baths or showers? - showers
25. What color socks are you wearing? - Im not wearin socks rn, but if i were, grey
26. Have you ever been famous? - Does having 392 followers in tumblr consider being famous??
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? - Yes and no
28. What type of music do you like? - Smth with guitars, maybe even synth-pop or smth. and some classical shit
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? - Nope, and never will
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? - 2, 3 if im with my bro
31. What position do you usually sleep in? - On either side with a pillow to hug
32. How big is your house? - Just 1 floor, a small backyard, and a front porch (i think idk filipino houses are hard to explain)
33. What do you typically have for breakfast? - Coffee and bread, instant noodles if i feel like it
34. Have you ever fired a gun? - Do airsoft guns count?
35. Have you ever tried archery? - Nah, but id love to
36. Favorite clean word? - boop
37. Favorite swear word? - shit, fuck,cunt, bitch, faggot (i call my friend like that never as an offense its just our thing)
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? - 36 hours or maybe even 48
39. Do you have any scars? -A scar on my right arm cuz of a vaccine
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? - Sorta, but he was a guy and a creep and a bitch so...
41. Are you a good liar? - sorta
42. Are you a good judge of character? - Maybe idk
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? - I have a very bad butchered british accent that sounds like im crunching in some scottish or smth
44. Do you have a strong accent? - Not that i know of
45. What is your favorite accent? - British and australian
46. What is your personality type? - Resting bitch face, quiet but a rlly good friend (apparently) im sorta clingy and hyper sometimes
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? - I think my prom dress, other than that, my giordano long sleeves
48. Can you curl your tongue? - sorta
49. Are you an innie or an outie? - innie
50. Left or right handed? - left
51. Are you scared of spiders? - As long as they’re small im good, i fear the big ones
52. Favorite food? - Japanese food, some korean food, pasta, ribs, and sisig
53. Favorite foreign food? - ^ (except for sisig)
54. Are you a clean or messy person? - An organized mess
55. Most used phrased? - Is it gay?
56. Most used word? - gay
57. How long does it take for you to get ready? - 20-30 mins, i try to prepare everything the day before
58. Do you have much of an ego? - Idk, i think not
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? - suck
60. Do you talk to yourself? - Yes, too many fucking times
61. Do you sing to yourself? - In the shower its great 10/10 would recommend
62. Are you a good singer? - Sorta?? Depends on the style of the song
63. Biggest Fear? - Socializing online idk lmao
64. Are you a gossip? - Depends on who im gossiping with, but not too much lol
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? - Idk, none of them are rlly great
66. Do you like long or short hair? - short
67. Can you name all 50 states of America? - Binch no, i aint american
68. Favorite school subject? - Social studies
69. Extrovert or Introvert? - Introvert but im a bit of both sorta
70. Have you ever been scuba diving? - no
71. What makes you nervous? - people
72. Are you scared of the dark? - nope
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? - Yes, especially when it comes to talking in english, im a grammar nazi
74. Are you ticklish? - yes,Stomach, sides, neck, feet, and certain parts on my back
75. Have you ever started a rumor? - nope
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? - I was the secretary of my class last year, and ive been the leader for our thesis
77. Have you ever drank underage? - Does wine count? (only during new year tho)
78. Have you ever done drugs? - nope
79. Who was your first real crush? - I honestly dont know, but i think it was this one girl named Renee (nuffsaid)
80. How many piercings do you have? - Before one for each ear, i lost them now so none
81. Can you roll your Rs? - If i need to, like if its a spanish name or smth
82. How fast can you type? - Idk,
83. How fast can you run? - Sorta fast thanks to my legs, but my stamina is hella short so not long
84. What color is your hair? - A mix of brown and sorta like bronze (this one particular part of my hair especially)
85. What color is your eyes? - brown
86. What are you allergic to? - none
87. Do you keep a journal? - Im starting to rn
88. What do your parents do? - Both of them have their own businesses
89. Do you like your age? - Yea i guess, unless my parents start comparing my maturity with my age
90. What makes you angry? --A lot of things (im moody), esp. When my sis starts judging what i like
91. Do you like your own name? -Sorta, i mean a lot of ppl mispronounce my name and make fun of it when u add my last name to it
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? - honestly idk, but i plan to name them with confusing names (or not idk)
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? - Both girls
94. What are you strengths? - Maybe that i’m honest esp when def needed, i have this motherly side (sorta), i know a lot of shit
95. What are your weaknesses? - Im clingy, im socially awkward, im easily demotivated, idk how emotions work
96. How did you get your name? - There was a joke that my mom thought i was gonna be a boy so they named me jonathan, but since i was a girl and jonathan tan was gonna be redundant, they added mae as my second name, removed the -than and now its J**** Mae Tan
97. Were your ancestors royalty? - Not that i know of, but one of my ancestors was an important figure in the revolution in my country so.... yea
98. Do you have any scars? - On my right arm cuz of a vaccine
99. Color of your bedspread? - I share a bed with my siblings (sadly) but rn its blue
100. Color of your room? - With my siblings, eggshell white or smth, but i wanted the color sky blue once i get my own room
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pre-game 2, inside hoe county 7,8,9 and 11!!!
you the only one i trust in this binch of an earth [insert that pic of the crying cat but with heart emojis all around]
also WOW this got super long i am extremely sorry i just have no filter when it comes to Cata i’m gonna eat an entire shoe
2. Relationship with Pratt, Hudson, and Whitehorse?
thank u for enabling me to talk about the squad
Whitehorse feels like her very tired second dad who has to like put up with her antics from time to time but he is very caring towards her from the moment she arrives. She was lowkey afraid of joining the Sheriff’s Department because she figured they were already like a family and she would feel a bit like an outsider but since she was the rookie and the baby, Whitehorse kind of took her under his wing jfdkhfdj she came to appreciate him a lot and probably called him dad on more than one occasion.
Hudson was like…the big sister figure she never had? Her strong personality was also something that really drew Cata in so she may have had a bit of a slight crush when she first joined. I feel like Joey is kind of the more level headed one in the squad so she always made sure Cata didn’t get in much trouble and sometimes that meant calling her out and stopping her before she did something stupid. After a while they became friends and occassionally had a couple drinks together after work!
Pratt is her best frend… I already rambled a bit about their relationship because I’m oddly invested in it fhdskh so to make it short they bonded after being sent on patrol together on her first week and they have a very close relationship which annoys everyone because of their occasional shenanigans at the station which mostly consist in annoying banter, throwing paper balls and lil paper planes at each other across the room (sometimes hitting other people in the process), tuning to the radio and humming and whistling off-tune and constant playful teasing even during serious meetings. Pratt was also Cata’s first actual friend in the county so they ended up hanging out a whole lot.
7. Did they have time to find romance amidst the chaos? How did they do it?
She did….she fell in wuv with the resident sexy outlaw Charlemagne Victor Boshaw IV…. It was honestly not planned because Cata never really had much luck in terms of romance so she kinda tossed aside the possibility BUT things changed babeys. Anyway they obviously clicked together super fast because hello single braincell people unite!! Cata rolled into the trailer park and saw that guy blasting disco music at full volume and was like guess I gotta marry him now!
All jokes aside, he proved to be like a support pillar to her after everything that she had to endure so she was forever thankful for it! Kind of like he made her forget about how fucked up everything was and how he reminded her to sleep and rest and take some time to care after herself from time to time and also subconsciously took her mind off stuff whenever he shared one of his colourful life stories. And Cata is very fun to have around so Sharky probably also had the time of his life hanging out with her and just idk having a new friend who liked him enough to bring him along anytime she could y’know? Since they are also both extremely open with their feelings they just find out they are super confident around each other almost from the get go so it’s just very easy to talk about stuff and open up and knowing the other person won’t judge them.
8. Feelings about Joseph?
She doesn’t trust him one bit and she doesn’t really buy into the whole “I heard a voice” story, she just thinks he’s taking advantage of people and that he’s not making any good. She does however kinda agree with him on the whole collapse thing? Like not in a “the apocalypse is gonna come NOW” but like…she does believe things are very fragile and could go to shit at any moment now. She just didn’t expect it to happen so soon or at all fhdsfs
9. Feelings about the other Seeds?
John: she absolutely can’t stand him fksdjfhs he manages to get on her nerves and for that he deserves an actual award. I think the reason she just…dislikes him so much is that he is the only one who managed to really touch a nerve and like…get into very deep issues she has that she would rather just not think about? Like the whole “you need to confess your sins, atone, cleanse and purify yourself” thing was just like turning the knife a little and it really managed to upset her even though John probably didn’t exactly know why. It also didn’t help being dragged inside the bunker the first time and seeing Hudson all tied up and being unable to help her, it really made her blood boil.
Faith: she has very complicated feelings towards her because on one hand Cata knows she is manipulative and cannot be trusted and on the other hand she kind of…sees parts of her past self on Faith? When she told her “I was seventeen, I was just a child” it kind of made her stop right on her tracks and think a lot? Like sure maybe Faith was lying but if she wasn’t then perhaps things could have been different for her had he had the chance to make different choices? At the end of the day Cata knows she has to stop her but I think it’s kind of bittersweet in a way.
Jacob: by far the one she feels more strongly about, for better or for worse. Coming from a military family herself she is pretty familiar with PTSD and the troubles that come with it. She has seen her father and older brothers come back from their destinations and how sometimes they just weren’t the same people that left, so she kind of...understands how Jacob struggled with it? I wouldn’t say she feels sorry but she does wonder what would have happened had he had the chance to continue with therapy and getting help. If he would have been a different man, if things could have been different for him. At the same time it kind of scares him? because she can’t help but wonder if something similar could have happened to one of her brothers, if it could still happen to them, and that....kind of terrifies her. But any feelings of “sympathy” she might have had towards him were like...absolutely discarded after seeing Pratt again because looking at him broke her heart a lot, especially because she feels super guilty from leaving him behind and not being able to help him until the end.
11. Which canon ending did they choose in-game, and would you have changed the ending at all?
She chose the resist ending because she is too damn stubborn and prideful to back down and if she already took down half the cult she might as well finish the job. I would have obviously changed the ending so that she could have gone back to “normal” with no nuclear apocalypse OR at least share the bunker with Sharky and her other friends so she didn’t have to spend the next 17 years together with Father Joe and his greasy manbun!
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Give ME ALL FOR THAT MEME BC IM A HO N I LOVE UR WIRITNG U FUCK
this just in: ru is gay and I love her HHDGSHHDDL THAnk u sm homie I cri,,, ❤️❤️
1) of the fic you’ve written, which are you most proud of?Hmm… probably all my colors? Like, there’s a lot I’d like to go back and change, but at the end of the day it was my baby for a good two plus years and there’s a lot of personal stuff sprinkled in there. It kinda shows my emotional progression throughout high school in the story, and while that’s def not why I wrote it, it’s cool to go back and look at it sometimes to see the things I used to say/think about. Plus it’s one of the only massive projects of mine that I’ve actually completed, lol.
Also I have a lot of love for amc just bc it’s so… different, I guess? Like, I’ve never really seen something like it fleshed out into a full-length story, especially not with silver and blaze. And the fact that it rlly touched several ppl and got them rlly into it… that makes me feel kinda accomplished when I’m not being a self-deprecating prick lmao. I rlly rlly wanted it to be my first fic to get to 100 reviews for a reason!
2) favorite tense (past/present/future)Definitely past, I tried present with the unforgiven and it just made it frustrating to write, lmao.
3) favorite POV (first/second/third/etc)I prefer writing in first person, actually. I think it simplifies things for both the writer and reader, and I’ve always found a lot more freedom to be creative when I write in first person.
4) what are some themes you love writing about?Lmao well, obviously romance is priority one for me, so most of my themes stem from that. I rlly love writing about class struggle tho, whether it’s someone low who’s aiming high or a noble who isn’t satisfied with such a high class. Morality also comes up a lot in my writing, I guess; tryna figure out what the right thing to do is, tryna figure out if this character actually did the best thing, all that good stuff!
5) what inspires you to write?Definitely music… sometimes I’ll stray from it and pick up some inspo from movies/stories/etc, but 99% of the time I’ll be listening to a song and suddenly come up w a fic idea from it lmao.
6) thoughts on critiqueI encourage it!! bc I think it’s the only real way to improve. Sometimes it can make me feel bad if I’m in one of those rlly shitty self-deprecation ruts, but still I usually get over it soon even when I’m like that. I know it’s for the better, and I appreciate everyone who’s ever been kind enough, and cared enough abt my writing to give me critique!
7) create a character on the spot…. NOW!UMMMM OKIE,,, what abt a snow leopard named Kyra… she likes to sit around n read n eat noodles… her main hobby other than reading is dancing. she’s v shy but she loves her close friends n BAM I just made her gay. She’s a lesbian, harold.
8) is there a character you love writing for the most? the least? why?Most - probably silver… his personality is always one I’ve gotten a lot of joy out of writing. He’s basically a walking contradiction, lmfao. He’s also pretty easy for me to self-project onto, idk why. Least - I’m gonna say amy for this one, just because it’s been hard for me to focus on more than one aspect of her personality and flesh all of it out. Plus amy is a somewhat overused character lol, I get a lot more fun out of writing blaze/tikal/others when I need a female role, even if it’s something simple
9) a passage from a WIPOh u kno I gotta dip into royalty au for this one 👀
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It was nearly a fortnight before any word was received from King Pyrus. It came in the form of a small parcel addressed to Blaze, which held a note inside for her. The young princess jumped at the feet of the servant who had brought it in, and once it was lowered into her hands, she hurried to her chamber. Once there, she closed the door behind her and jumped on her bed, unable to contain her excitement. With a careful claw and an eager expression, she tore the parcel’s paper away. Before looking at what it contained, she snatched the note from her father, and brought it to her face. It read:
My Little Flame,
I am sorry I could not write to you sooner. I remain busy, but I finally began exploring, and I found something I think you will simply adore. It is a traditional robe (I believe it is called a kimono) from here in the Eastern Isles. It is just as beautiful as the land, and just as special as you are to I, my dear. We must make plans to bring you here one day, it astounds me each time.
Do not fret about the ongoings in the world, how ever much you have heard. Kiniti watches over us at all times, and she will ensure peace among all kinetics. Hopefully, I will depart in the coming few days, and we will see one another soon.
With love,Father Flame
Blaze, of course, merely skimmed over the second half of the note as a formality. She laid the message aside, and her jaw dropped once she held the kimono out. It was a beautiful shade of dark purple, with an equally enchanting design. Trails of dainty cherry blossoms sat on rugged branches, which climbed up either side of the robe. The silk seemed to melt between Blaze’s fingers; it was the softest material she had ever felt. She rubbed one of the sleeves against her cheek, and purred into it. When she turned the robe over, she gasped. A large, pink bow was already tied at the back, as if it had been made just for her. She slipped the kimono over her shoulders, and although the sleeves hung low over her arms, the length was just right. Blaze tied the pieces of ribbon at her waist, just as Pyrus had taught her, and words could never express how delighted she was with the gift. She could not wait to show her father once he returned.
As Blaze was fitting her tail through the bow on her back, Baxton entered the room. Whenever Pyrus was absent, it was usually Baxton who took up the king’s general duties. He signed letters, addressed the people, attended court; it kept him quite busy. The only responsibility he didn’t inherit was any control of he army - the sole post he would be familiar with. Quite the chore it was, but Baxton was always fond of his temporary sovereign role. At least in terms of the power he held, that is. In fact, Blaze assumed that he had been yelling at some servants not too long ago, judging by his flushed face.
The elder cat scratched his head. “Princess, did the king leave a letter?”
Blaze pointed to the note on her bed. Baxton scurried to it, and frowned as he glanced over the elegant handwriting. “Is this it?” he quizzed.
The princess nodded, and held her arms out with a smile. “Look, Baxi! Look at what father sent me!”
Blaze couldn’t quite tell what Baxton’s expression conveyed, but it was something between a smile and a scowl. The note crumpled in a quick motion from Baxton’s fist, and was thrown back onto the bed cover. Blaze didn’t think much of this as Baxton hurried out, and she walked to her mirror to admire the kimono again.
–
10) what are your strengths wrt writing?Hmm… I get a lot of ppl saying that I’m pretty eloquent when it comes to phrasing/word choices? I’m constantly tinkering with how things are said, even up until like 30 seconds before I publish smth lmao. I also like to think I never just string sentences together and leave it at that when I’m narrating, I pay a lot of attention to how different sentences/phrases flow together.
11) what are your weaknesses wrt writing?My main weakness would probably be going overboard on all the little things, like how a sentence sounds or flows and stuff like that. I end up being a perfectionist with it, and sometimes when I’m crafting/changing phrases around, I end up with a sentence that kinda drags on or tries to do too much.
12) what’s your favorite place for writing resources?Tumblr’s pretty good for me, actually. I rarely ever seek out resources, but I do reblog a lot of them that come to me here and they’ve been very useful to me in the past.
13) who are your favorite writers?Ok first off binch u@aurora-boring-alis (FF: aurora-boring-alis) Then my other peeps who also make the quality goodness™™ I can’t get enough of (some fanfic accounts more active than others)@maliwarm (FF: biteworsethanbark) @lordoftheghostking28 (FF: lordoftheghostking28) @weezernaut (FF: space mercutio)@ebachan (wattpad: witto150)
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i was tagged by @thepinkufo to answer this 92 truths thingy thank uuuu agatha my love,, well i did it quite a while ago but here i am again. hope u had a nice day.
~~~
LAST…
[1] drink: water
[2] phone call: my sister i guess
[3] text message: my sister
[4] song you listened to: landslide by fleetwood mac thank u agatha for sending me that audio i loved it
[5] time you cried: like... a month ago or a few weeks ago
[6] dated someone twice: nope
[7] been cheated on: nah
[8] kissed someone and regretted it: i havent reaaally kissed anyone... ever
[9] lost someone special: yep
[10] been depressed: idk tbh i’d say . . .almost or maybe
[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: no omg i h8 throwing up ugh,,, not to be random but i recently found out i like beer.. . no one asked but i’m saying it anyway bye
LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:
[12] purple
[13] yellow
[14] orange
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…
[15] made new friends: i did i’m happy bout it
[16] fallen out of love: noooo oo
[17] laughed until you cried: thanks lord i have it’s gr8
[18] found out someone was talking about you: idk really idc
[19] met someone who changed you: yeah i guess so
[20] found out who your true friends are: hm no
[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: again, no
[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: basically everyone i don’t have too many people on my fb
[23] do you have any pets: one dog, my angel
[24] do you want to change your name: no i don’t
[25] what did you do for your last birthday: hm i watched the olympics on tv and yeah spent the day with my family at home doing nothing at all i don’t really like birthdays tbh
[26] what time did you wake up: today at 10am i’ve been sleeping a lot lately
[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping
[28] name something you cannot wait for: finding myself somehow? also coming out as a lesbian (i guess?) bc i’m fucking claustrophobic in this closet binch narnia can choke bye
[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: i live w her and she’s in the same room as me <3
[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: not a lot actually? it’s not abt my life at all, it’s me ..my life is okay
[31] what are you listening to right now: the tv but i’m not paying attention as usual
[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: i don’t think so lol
[33] something that is getting on your nerves: myself (leaving agatha’s answer here)
[34] most visited website: lately i’d say youtube and tio google mesmo
[35] elementary: nice
[36] high school: it was okay a bit messy but okay
[37] college: i’m about to start uni next month send me good vibes
[38] hair colour: brown
[40] do you have a crush on someone: atm i don’t think so (((and btw agatha i love u)))
[41] what do you like about yourself? i can easily see beauty in stuff
[42] piercings: just the ears and i dont like it but it wasnt my choice
[43] blood type: A+ (i spent a lot time thinking it was O+ wtf)
[44] nickname: isa, ing, indie
[45] relationship status: *sighs* i’m single and gay
[46] zodiac sign: leo don’t judge me
[47] pronouns: she/her
[48] fav tv show(s): everything and every type of stuff? okay then pll, criminal minds, madeline, friends, fresh prince of bel air, voltron. . .idk i forgot something whats my name where am i oh hi
[49] tattoos: i want flowers!!! but i have none atm rip
[50] right or left handed: right handed
FIRST…
[51] surgery: i took some teeth out
[52] piercing: ears
[53] best friend: julia i guess she was my neighbour
[54] sport: swimming
[55] vacation: i cant rmr rn lol
[56] pair of trainers: cant rmr
[57] eating: hm i guess fruits
[58] drinking: milk from my mother surely (leaving agatha’s answer again)
[59] i’m about to: sigh
[60] listening: nothing specific
[61] waiting for: watch dunkirk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11khkshjskfhdjJHSKJASHKJ
[62] want: to meet the sea again during the night and feel the fresh wind in my face and the sand through my toessss
[63] get married: i don’t plan on that & can’t really see this happening
[64] career: well idk??? but.. . probably a librarian
YOUR TYPE…
[65] hugs or kisses: idk hugs i guess maybe both
[66] lips or eyes: idk??yeah
[67] shorter or taller: idc
[68] older or younger: my age or older
[69] romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous
[70] nice arms or nice stomach: idc
[71] sensitive or loud: hm idk whaTAT
[72] hook up or relationship: probs relationships?? idk
[73] troublemaker or hesitant: idk.. . man these were hard i’m telling you
HAVE YOU EVER…
[74] kissed a stranger? no
[75] drank hard liquor? yeah
[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? no i dont wear them
[77] turned someone down? yep
[78] sex on first date? nein
[79] broken someone’s heart? i hope not :// idk
[80] had your own heart broken? no wow
[81] been arrested? oh no
[82] cried when someone died? yes
[83] fallen for a friend: nevah
DO YOU BELIEVE IN…
[84] yourself? sometimes...
[85] miracles? hmmm...maybe
[86] love at first sight? não
[87] santa claus? i never really did
[88] kiss on the first date? ?? w?w?it happens??obvs
[89] angels? i do
[90] current best friend’s name: i don’t have a “main” best friend. my friends are the best people ever i love them
[91] eye colour: brown
[92] favourite movies: oh omg idk im lazy rn bye!!!!
idk who to tag so yeah i’ll do it randomly @walkingintheamm @fairylightsstyles @harrystylesgotmefuckedup @magic-view @stardustsharry @harrysera @androgynoustyles (i hope u come back soon) @cheshirepuddin @eyy-jenny @mizpahes @latelatestyles @sweetcreatured ignore it if you don’t want to do this! hope yall had a nice day
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Best of the 🦇 Fic
Aka Waiting On You by @lads-laddylads
This is easily one of my favorite fics so I’ve compiled some of my favorite quotes, lines, and moments from this masterpiece. Enjoy!
⚰️ [Spoiler Warning!] 💉
“You’re feisty for someone so small” [Definition of Louis Tomlinson right here ijs :/]
Harry bites the way he talks, and walks, and kisses, with an intensity that’s somehow on the right side of too much, overwhelming without being overbearing. [ Gentle 🦇 lover Harry tho...need I say more?]
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡WALL SEX!!!!!!!!!!
“What if he saw you up against the wall and taking my cock like this, this desperate for it after you tried so hard to pretend you weren’t interested?” [Lmao gentle lover but then he a nasty™ exhibitionist kinky bastard...excuse me but like...sign me tf up :/ also Niall would be out there pulling a Regina George’s Mom move with a video camera. Lets be real...aslo me as Niall]
"Please, c’mon, bite me again,”....“Baby, I don’t need more—” Harry begins .....”No, I need it, please, Harry, just—” Louis says, and when he sees Harry’s fangs descend, he feels like he could cry with relief [Honestly this scene killed me bc like LMAO he’s gagging to be bitten like...let that sink in for a sec and then you have 🦇 Harry like no no baby I’m good like u don’t gotta but Louis is like BINCH this for my pleasure not u tf...Iconic]
Louis turns around, he sees his clothing from the club last night in a neatly folded pile on the floor [Harry deadass fucking folded Louis’ clothes before he left. Like why is this such a Harry thing to do?When will your one night stand EVER, Lmao I HATE]
They may start humping each other with the next few minutes, and Louis wants to tell them to leave room for Jesus [Louis is such a little binch...why didn’t he leave room for J when he was dry humping Harry at the club?...smh]
“You’re all so fucking full of yourselves and it disgusts me.”....“You were so fucking full of me last week and you didn’t seem disgusted by that” [I SCREAMED SO LOUD LMAOOOOO. Honestly. I’m here for Harry calling out Louis in all his bs. This was iconic]
“Because people get off on being bitten? It’s like...a sexual thing...“Mmmm, no, that’s pretty much just you” [Imagine being that deep in denial or having no once of self awareness. Like kinda felt bad that he didn’t realize his own damn kink but LMAO now all his friends know he gets off on being bitten. Oh Louis hahahaha. Also, Harry being all smug about it. BYE]
Louis gently burrows his feet under Harry’s thigh. It keeps his toes warm [This was just so cute and super relatable cause I literally do the same thing rip]
A young vampire who looks like he’d rather be actually dead than undead and working at Panera [This line LMAO. Idk if many people appreciate this type of humor but I do. I giggled so much]
“I’m a cop and I could report this restaurant for at least three health code violations” [Hahaha he’s so endearing and so aggravating at the same time. But its so cute how he does shit like this and you know on the surface it pisses Louis off but in reality he’s so endeared by it. I’m here for Harry cheating to get what he wants tbh]
“Up we go” Harry says [STOP this was so cute! Literally all I pictured was that gif of that bodyguard picking Louis up like he weighed nothing :’) my smol son...bless him]
“Vampires don’t even fucking sweat” Louis mutters to himself angrily [Okay but how iconic was this scene? Harry is such a damn tease. Louis had been fantasizing about H covered in oil and as if H KNEW he was like I don’t got oil but this water will do...like LMAO. So Louis being sexually frustrated and grumpy like a kitten with a “🦇s don’t sweat” was just so funny lol]
“Are we — are we gonna have sex now?” Louis asks when Harry lays him down.Harry laughs, and that seems rude. Louis and Harry have had sex before, so why not have it again? Louis is in his bed, after all, so he doesn’t understand why Harry is trying to play hard to get. Why else would Louis be in his bed?Louis feels his eyes slipping closed, but he’s going to ask these questions because he wants answers.“Just go to sleep, baby,” Harry says softly, and no. No, Louis isn’t going to do that [The damn nerve Louis has to say Harry is the one playing hard to get BOI lol. But like this scene is so endearing. Like, Harry just saved his ass and Louis is so damn drunk and HARRY CALLED HIM BABY. Ugh its disgustingly sweet. I love it :’)]
“Smaller than I remember,” Louis says, swallowing hard. Harry’s smirk only widens [I’m that gif of that dude looking into the camera like I’m in the office. Like, Louis trying to pretend like Harry doesn’t have a monster**** and didn’t get fucked for an inch of his life is so fucking petty and hilariously embarrassing lol]
“So, I was thinking that we should have sex,” Louis says suddenly, and Harry chokes on his drink [This was so abrupt and just lololol he was so done with being sexually frustrated this was also when I screamed FINALLY BINCH]
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡HANDCUFF SEX!!!!!!!!!!
“I want to watch the Vampire Diaries,” Louis decides finally [need I say more lmaooo]
He reaches for Harry. Harry opens his arms to Louis immediately, burying his face into Louis’ neck, and Louis shivers slightly, rubbing at Harry’s back [this was such a small and tender moment. It was just so cute since up to this point they had rarely been really affectionate like this it just made me feel all asdfghjkl...also tho I felt bad for Niel]
Louis can’t help but scoot closer to him, wrapping his arms around Harry’s torso and clinging to him like a koala bear [this was just cute okay???]
Finally, Harry huffs out a sigh and leans in, giving Louis a kiss on his cheekbone [I live for small little moments like this FUCK ME UP with emotions and feelings rip]
"I have Steve talking about pterodactyl porn, I have Niall speculating about whether it’s legal to marry ducks in the District of Colombia" [shit like this makes me side eye writers tbh like...now I know u’ve seen or talked about some weird shit. Like, Emma how did u even come up with this??? How much pterodactyl porn have u watched? like...I’m not judging u or nuffin but lowkey I’m like how much of a freak is she? Ya feel me? Get back to me on this lmao I need explanations....]
Harry’s shirt is riding up slightly, exposing the trail of hair that leads into Harry’s boxers, and there’s a small bit of a drool pooling on Harry’s skin. Oops [Excuse me but like this is so cute? Louis droolin on Harry...as gross asit may be like...how endearing tho? Again little shit like this is what makes me adore fics so much. Bless]
“Why aren’t you into me?” The words burst out of Louis suddenly, and that definitely wasn’t what he meant to say [This made me feel so asdfghjkl for Louis cause like I felt bad but also it was his fault in the first place but again with him bursting out with his feelings is so cute]
“I was waiting on you,” Harry says simply, and Louis’ heart skips a beat [I SCREAMED SO LOUD LIKE YALL HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE WHEN AUTHORS PUT THE TITLE IN THEIR STORY OR LIKE THE TITLE COMES FROMA LINE IN THE STORY. BLESS UP]
“I can’t believe you thought I didn’t want you,” Harry says, pulling away just enough to speak. “Do you think I handcuff all of my friends and let them ride me on the sofa?” His eyes are sparkling [Honestly Louis...like wyd boi]
Louis can tell that even in the throes of pleasure, Harry’s first concern is making sure Louis doesn’t get hurt [Gentle 🦇 lover Harry at it again]
Harry bites into Louis’ left ass cheek with his fangs, and Louis cries out loudly enough that he’d be concerned for Harry’s neighbors if he cared about anything other than this right now [How much nastier™ can this get tho? BYE]
Harry reaches his finger down Louis’ crack, teasing gently, but he can’t quite reach where he wants to touch. He makes a frustrated noise and hitches Louis’ leg up, forcing Louis to wrap his arms around Harry’s neck until he’s up against the wall yet again [Y’ALL MOTHERFUCKERS OUT IN PUBLIC LIKE WYD??? LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS!! So, Harry loves to have Louis pinned to walls and lives for the exhibitionism...me as H tbh]
“I didn’t even hear the goddamn door open,” Louis mutters. “But what’s your excuse? You have super hearing!” [He was to busy fingering u in the bathroom hallway NOT EVEN IN THE BATHROOM but the damn hallway!! :/ Also, did he even wash his hands afterwards? Harry over there talking about health code violations to the wanting to be dead, undead Panera boy but he over here fingering Louis’ ass and not even washin his hands afterwards...ya nasty]
Harry goes full on drama with it and dips Louis right there in the middle of the restaurant [Louis as if ur life doesn’t revolve around drama...sit yo big ass down istg...also this was extra af but cute af so like I’m here for this]
He wraps his larger pinky around Louis’ smaller one as he speaks, and Louis gives him a small smile and nods [THIS IS LOWKEY SUBLIMINAL ADVERTISING FOR PNL. YOU AIN’T SLICK BINCH. I SEE U. Anyways, y’all can read Pinkies Never Lie HERE. Good shit. Good shit...lots of hot sex especially H wearing his rings fingering Louis scene...ijs. This scene was cute too btw]
It was raining that day, and in Louis’ mind’s eye, every rain droplet that hit the car window was there to cleanse him of everything that he had been with Luke [Literally look can CHOKE but I liked this sentence quite a lot]
“And in the last ten minutes, I’ve revised my opinion on your intelligence quite a bit, so for it to go even lower is saying something" [Listen, Nick being involved was quite a shock I will admit...but also he was literally so dumb af in this scene and I love that Harry told him so lololol]
“Louis,” Harry says, and Louis forces his eyes open again. “I love you. I love you so much.” “I love you too,” Louis says, voice quiet and raspy from the damage done to his neck. “Yeah?” Harry says, smiling as he wipes some blood from the corner of Louis’ mouth. “Don’t get cocky about it,” Louis says. His vision is spotty and Harry’s voice sounds very far away. Harry laughs, eyes still wet with tears. “You hadn’t said. Before.” “I was waiting on you,” Louis says, a small smile on his face, echoing what Harry had once said to him [This fucking scene ripped my heart out like wtf SO ASDFGHJKL!!!!!!!!!!!! Like this would be the time they said I love you. I HATE but like I love all at once??? and Like this time Louis was waiting on Harry and IM A MESS FUCC U EMMA U SUCC!!!]
Louis can feel Harry’s fingers tracing a three on his good wrist, and he realizes suddenly that he’s not drawing a three, that he was never drawing a three. He’s drawing a heart [THIS. JFC. Honestly Emma you’re such a sapp...this was so fucking cute and fluffy and asdfghjkl FUCC U]
“But don’t pull a stunt like that ever again,” James says, smiling ear to ear. “I don’t need my lead detective to be the first vampire to die of a heart attack in the history of vampirism” [Lmao me as James...honestly the way Louis attracts trouble...Harry would get a damn heart attack lol]
“Why does everyone always think that arguing is our version of a mating ritual" [Is this binch forreal??? Cause it literally was...they’re bickering and arguing was all foreplay tbh. LOLOLOL]
“Oh Luke,” he says, voice amused. “You still don’t get it. I figured out for myself that I was worth something long before I even met Harry. He was just the first vampire I’d met in a while who believed it too” [YASSSSSSSSS BINCH. THIS RIGHT HERE!!!! IS SO IMPORTANT.SO SO SOOOO IMPORTANT!!! HE DON’T NEED NO ONE TO REALIZE AND KNOW HE’S WORTH IT]
While Harry gets their satanic ritual or whatever it is he’s aiming for going [Hahahaha again with this type of humor. I LOVEEEE]
“A lifetime with you is never going to feel like enough,” Harry says honestly” ... “I guess it’s good that you’re going to have me for longer than that, then,” Louis says [LOUIS GONNA BE A VAMP!!!! FOREVER TOGETHER IM SO HAPPY!!! Also, can we get a sequel? drabble? SUMFFIN?? I vote for hot and hard 🦇 sex ayeee!]
“We were worth the wait” Louis clarifies finally [BINCH FUCK U IMA MESSSSSSSS]
Anyways, this is long af and totally unnecessary but I enjoyed reading this SO DAMN MUCH. I’m in love with this fic. There was a little bit of everything I enjoy reading. I’m still a bit annoyed that I didn’t guess Nick was the second person involved...I was always side eyeing Jeff just cause he didn’t do shit in this fic (funny how art imitates real life lol) and thought it would of been a big WTF lol. Emma, I know this fic was a nightmare at times to write but thank you so much for writing this. Especially bc it was somewhat out of your comfort zone and stuff so I really appreciate it. Okay, Imma stop being sappy and shit but you know how much my weird ass adores fics like this. So, THANK YOU!
Everyone please go read the 🦇 fic if ya haven’t already and if you have...READ IT AGAIN.
Xx.
#this is so long#Is anyone gonna read this?#probs not rip#but here it is anyways#lads-laddylads#waiting on you#fic recs
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U THINK U CAN ONE-UP /ME/, NERD???? All nultiples of 4. All of them. Good luck, Ily 😎💗
4: 3 things I love.Pizza, Ian BMoose Mcleod, and anything sweet
8: Sexual orientation?Asexual!
12: What time was I born?Uhhh I wanna say it was like… 1am?
16: Favorite place?Either in bed or in a forest or by the river where I live when I’m at Uni or anywhere where I can climb rocks and shit and nearly fall off and crack my head open???
20: First thing I notice in new person?The way they conduct themselves; eye contact, body language, tone of voice etc.
24: Favorite style of clothing?I’ve been really into Boho stuff recently!
28: Favorite movie?Hot Fuzz!!!
32: Someone I love.Hagakure Yasuhiro I have too many actual people to name o k a y
36: Tattoos and piercing I have.I just have my ears done
40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts?I sometimes get “good night” messages from the boi™… He’s sent me like 2 good morning ones, I think… I wish I got more…
44: Have I shaved my legs in the past three days?No…? I last did them on…. Thursday evening
48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?I live with my mum and step-dad when I’m not at school!
52: When was the last time I hugged someone?Probably Saturday but I usually go extended periods of time without hugs r i p, my family isn’t very outwardly affectionate so…. that’s probably where my hesitation comes from lmao
56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Uhhhhhhhh everyone on here???
60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?B e h i n d. Well… if it’s a group selfie, I prefer to be both. I’m in control of which ones get kept and shared.
64: Do I believe in magic?Sadly not… The analytical scientist in me always tries to figure out how anything works
68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?Yes!!!!
72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?I actually can!!
76: What do I think Satan’s last name is?Trump
80: What is my favorite word?If I can pick from any language, I’d say 見つけた/Mitsuketa or “I found you/it”. It’s just such a satisfying word to hear and say!
84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?Time control! It would be so fucking useful to be able to speed up and stop time whenever I needed to!
88: Bought condoms?Lmao no
92: Kissed a girl?Uhhh…. I don’t think so? Maybe without warning if a drunk friend was being particularly affectionate
96: Bullied someone on the Internet?No! Wtf??
100: Did drugs?Nah, bro. Only those prescription drugs to keep me mentally stable, amirite
104: Been overweight?Nope!
108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?Omfg yes
112: Broken a bone?Somehow, no.
116: Fly by helicopter?I have actually! It was… terrifying…
120: Wore make up?Constantly
124: Voted in a presidential election?I’ve voted in our government elections
128: Stalked someone on a social network?….Okay but hasn’t everyone???
132: Been rejected by a crush?I’ve never had the courage so now
136: Was I named after anyone?A book character! I believe it was Elinor from Sense and Sensibility! Except my grandma didn’t let my mum spell it like that lmao
140: Where do I want to live when older?Well, preferably not in England, but I doubt that’s gonna happen… I’d love to live in America, just to be closer to like e v e r y o n e, but I’d like to live in Japan to really be able to learn the language and the culture!
144: Am I afraid of the dark?Nah
148: What I’m really bad at.Remembering important stuff
152: What do I like about myself?Hm.. I like my dark, kinda fucked up, sense of humour lmao
156: If your house was on fire and you had sixty seconds to leave, what would you take with you?LAPTOP, PHONE, DOG, TABLET, LBR I PROBABLY WOULDN’T LEAVE WITHOUT SOME MAKEUP TOO
160: Is it possible to love someone if you don’t love yourself?Yes. Absolutely.
164: Do you judge people for what they wear or how they express themselves?No. I only judge people if they’re a shitty person.
168: Would you rather live a hedonistic life full of good things that make you feel good even if they’re bad for you, or a healthy life centered around treating your body like a sacred temple and watching your health as closely as possible? Or do you not care either way?Okay, listen…………. My life consists of eating bags of cookies and sweets in one sitting and playing video games………… I’ll leave it at that
172: When do you feel truly at peace?At night, like 2am, at my uni house. It’s quiet, my room’s decorated way nicer… Or like early in the morning if I end up waking up.
176: Do you think the world existed before you did?Is…. Is that a serious question..?
180: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?Depends if I can be bothered/have remembered to shut them or not
184: What is your Song of the week?Apple Dot Com - Pinocchio-P feat. Hatsune Miku
188: Last person you kissed/kissed you?My grandpa on sunday
192: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?Oh wow uhhh… I think it was to my mum to tell her about all my issues haha so… about 4 years ago?
196: Are you lazy?Hell yes
200: Do you sing in the shower?No.. I’m always too worried someone will hear me. I do hum though!
204: Favorite type of fruit pie?Apple
208: What was the last concert you saw?I’ve only been to one and that was P!ATD for their Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die tour so.. it was a while back
212: What’s your favorite part about today so far?I guess watching anime? I’ve not really done much else. Oh! Or Ian’s new video! :3c So proud of my boi
216: How do you like your steak cooked?Medium-Well
220: Which friend would you go to in an emergency?Irl, my friend Megan, probably. She’s the most reliable.
224: Would you rather live in the countryside or in the city?City
228: Who is the most intelligent person you know?My old housemate, Josh! He was like an encyclopedia, it was insane
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1-100 also im personally Offended that u will not let me be gay binch and tag u 85 times........ im requesting a divorce
oh boy okay fuck u
Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?
pandora does that make me basic
is your room messy or clean?i’m a minimalist with hoarder tendencies.
what color are your eyes?kind of like a hazel-green
do you like your name? why?i used to hate it but now that i’m older it kind of ? distinguishes me? plus i love the nickname cass so there
what is your relationship status? married 2 u elm, always
describe your personality in 3 words or lessobsessive, destructive, gay
what color hair do you have?light brown but it actually used to be red when i was born! god i miss those days… being an infant, having cute hair….
what kind of car do you drive? color?i have a 2013 subaru impreza hatchback. it’s a rly pretty dark grey with purple undertones and a skeletor decal on the back. literally i love my car
where do you shop?target. jo-anns. teavana.
how would you describe your style?i like earth-tones or dark muted colors
favorite social media accountfacebook?? it’s where i run my cosplay page idk
what size bed do you have? twin
any siblings?i have one sister but i also have 2 half-sisters and possibly 2 half-brothers who i’ve never actually…. met…..
if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?wales. research them arthurian legends. love some pet sheep.
favorite snapchat filter? i rarely take pics of my face so idk maybe the flower crown one?? is that still a thing
favorite makeup brand(s)neutrogena or almay bc they’re hypoallergenic lmao
how many times a week do you shower?realistically, 5-6. ideally……. i would never leave the shower……
favorite tv show?fuck this question i don’t want to think about it
shoe size?9-9.5-10 depending
how tall are you?5′6
sandals or sneakers? mmmmm i do love my hiking shoes but i also love sandals so? both
do you go to the gym? nah my dad is a fitness nut so we literally have like 6 or 7 types of exercise equipment at my house
describe your dream datedying
how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?$6 in ones. i handle too much cash during the day to want to keep it in my wallet.
what color socks are you wearing? …. i’m not
how many pillows do you sleep with?just one
do you have a job? what do you do? i’m a teller at a credit union. i count cash until my fingers are literally black from how gross bills are
how many friends do you have? 0i have like? elma. also a few of my coworkers and some cosplay friends
whats the worst thing you have ever done? be born lol. start writing. learn how to sew.
whats your favorite candle scent? fresh linen
3 favorite boy names1. Loren2. Liam3. Mothman
3 favorite girl names1. Eowyn2. Ruby (don’t judge me my dog is CUTE)3. Mothman
favorite actor? leslie odom jr
favorite actress? phillipa soo my gf
who is your celebrity crush?………. leslie odom jr and phillipa soo my gf
favorite movie? right now it’s moana but i love tangled and lotr, unwaveringly
do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? i can’t pick a favorite fuck off
money or brains? ?!?!?!?!
do you have a nickname? what is it? cass, sass, sarcassidy, sketch,
how many times have you been to the hospital?like twice maybe
top 10 favorite songsjesus christ ok. okay1. Hot Gates by Mumford and Sons2. Whispers by Passenger3. Above / Below by Birds of Tokyo4. Minor War by Birds of Tokyo5. If This Ship Sinks (I give in) also by….. Birds of Tokyo6. I’ll Be Good by Jaymes Young7. Tag! by Scarves8. Despite What You’ve Been Told by Two Gallants9. Young God by Halsey10. Wildflowers by Tom Petty
do you take any medications daily? i’m on that nightly melatonin fix
what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)clear. blessedly clear.
what is your biggest fear? never being someone worth remembering :)))
how many kids do you want? 1. MAYBE 2. or maybe 0?
whats your go to hair style?Half up, half down. I’m lame
what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) my house is actually… pretty big? it’s like. very upper middle class
who is your role model? my old debate coach from high school :’)
what was the last compliment you received?idk elma what was the last gay thing u sent me
what was the last text you sent?“thank u for providing”
how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?i had my suspicions as early as 5 but honestly. my mom tells me i have to believe in him for the sake of our dogs because she wants to maintain the illusion that he’s real… for them…. she’s so weird
what is your dream car? actually i’m pretty happy with the car i have. the 2017 imprezas are WAY cute and nice and sporty tho and i would love to upgrade someday
opinion on smoking?smells yucky. makes our drive through tubes & cash smell yucky.
do you go to college? yes but i am TIRED
what is your dream job?DYING! DEATH AND DYING! being a literary agent actually tho
would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? well i actually grew up in a pretty rural area but it was also only like… 15 minutes from a big city and is surrounded by smaller cities. it’s not a bad place to live. very safe and quiet, lots of horses
do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? no i have a hair Routine and cannot break it
do you have freckles? no :( I have a few and i have some cute moles tho
do you smile for pictures?no go away
how many pictures do you have on your phone?jesus christ 9,564
have you ever peed in the woods? reluctantly
do you still watch cartoons? i watch disney movies but like? i think cartoon fandoms are VERY annoying so i avoid them at all costs COUGH stev///en univ//erse
do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?chick fil a or die. but i wouldn’t turn down wendy’s or mcdonalds nugs u feel
Favorite dipping sauce?honey mustard fuck me up. chick fil a sauce got me goin too
what do you wear to bed? big shirts!!!
have you ever won a spelling bee?um no i tried bc i’ve always been a spelling hoe and the written portion went well but the speaking portion was an anxiety ridden mess
what are your hobbies?dying. sewing. suffering. cosplay. petting dogs. hiking. being dead. writing
can you draw? i used to draw a lot but fucking jill heiner in 11th grade told me i sucked and i will never forget that
do you play an instrument?i played piano for 12 years and i was never like naturally gifted but i certainly tried my hardest. i haven’t played since i graduated high school 2 years ago tho
what was the last concert you saw? i’ve never been to a concert and may never go
tea or coffee?both but like. there’s a time and a place for both
Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?starbucks
do you want to get married?i fear physical relationships
what is your crush’s first and last initial?V(iktor)N(ikiforov)
are you going to change your last name when you get married? no i’m attached to my initials
what color looks best on you? greens and dark purples
do you miss anyone right now? my dog :( he’s sleeping in the hall and not in my room
do you sleep with your door open or closed?closed unless my parents are out of town so my dogs can sleep with me
do you believe in ghosts?i believe in mothman
what is your biggest pet peeve? when people acknowledge my physical existence as if i am more than just a semi-transparent blob. also when people call their checking account a “checkings” account. fuck right off it’s not plural and checkings isn’t a word FUCK YOU
last person you called`my mom
favorite ice cream flavor? pistachio
regular oreos or golden oreos? um if i’m going to spend calories on a cookie it sure won’t be some kind of… prepackaged nonsense
chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? rainbow
what shirt are you wearing? wearin a loose knit dress. it’s olive and strappy
what is your phone background?pic of my sweet dog :’)))
are you outgoing or shy?easily irritated and anxious
do you like it when people play with your hair?no
do you like your neighbors? they are what they are
do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?i wash it in the shower but if i wash it too much it will dry out
have you ever been high? no
have you ever been drunk? no
last thing you ate? i had a steak burrito for lunch?? that was like 10 hours ago i should probably eat something else
favorite lyrics right now“all i need’s a whisper in a world that only shouts”or“in a place that’s safe from harm, but i have been blessed with a wilder mind”
summer or winter?why aren’t autumn or spring options
day or night? dusk
dark, milk, or white chocolate? dark
favorite month? october or may
what is your zodiac signtaurus lol
who was the last person you cried in front of? i actually cannot remember
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@bewitchinglesbian replied to your post “why is it that once my life starts actually coming together & i am...”
*sends hugs* i know it's really hard to face the reality of being stuck w a shitty mother, and also realising that means you have an absence of something fundamental in the way that you deserve to be treated!! But like ugh like I'm so sorry!! you don't deserve that!!♥♥ But also your mother sounds shitty, it doesn't sound like she's giving "love" and asking for "love inreturn?? It sounds like she's being manipulative and using affection/basic needs... the support and care that a parent is suppose to frickin give to her child b/c that's what you sign up for when u have a kid?? U need to love and support them unconditionally??? Not just so that you can get more support on your terms and shit?? You dont' have a kid so that they can validate you and shit?? That's literallly not your job and that sounds so shitty?? And like she's violating boundaries n shit if she whines and rants and complains to u about shit when ur not up to it/uncomfortable or whatever like that's bullshit and she should know that? She is your goddamn parent and an adult who chose to have a child and here she is demandig things of you which is the opposite of parenting?? She should be giving you shelter, food, love and support without asking for anything in return b/c>>??? you were not made to support her, give her advice, guidance, validating, do jobs for her?? that is NOT a child's job?? Like helping out is nice but?? it's not your damn job?? and like sdiufhjknx sorry im in a Rant Mood but/?? you are NOT like your mother for ranting/oversharing on your own goddamn blog???? it's your blog, your space to say whatever tf you like?? you're not actively confronting ppl in their homes being like BINCH U HAVE TO READ EVERYTHING I SAY!!!! nobody has to read this?? you are forcing nobody!! you are using your own space to say what you are feeling and that's 100% A-Okay?? ♥ on the other hand you (i assume) live w your mother, and in your own home and space she is forcing you to listen to her whine/complain/validate her, whether it's flatout forcing out manipulation, she is not giving you the choice to opt out comfortably?? She is invading your space when u emotionally or whatever don't have the energy for it/dont want to like?? you are NOT like ur mother!!!! sry just reassuing u but ye ill shut up now
no it’s so ok!! this really means a lot.
(my response is Long and Oversharing so i’m putting it under a readmore)
i do live with my mom, and i try and keep to myself as often as i can, but the repercussions of that can also be kind of Disastrous because...she’s very attentive to detail. like we’re a lot alike in that respect, except while i choose to use my attentiveness to file away things about jenny calendar and literature and etymology, she throws herself into remembering every single aspect of a social situation. so it got to the point when i was younger where i would just assume she was right because she’d bring up things that definitely sounded correct, and Clearly i was wrong if i didn’t remember things.
so she’ll remember things. small things. i always want the door to my room shut (and it’s for privacy/anxiety reasons because i’m nervous she’ll walk into my room and judge me, but i can’t tell her that) and i always ask her to do it even though she almost always does, and she’ll snap at me for asking and later bring up the fact that she feels like a servant in her own house. every single conversation with her feels like a test, and if i get it wrong she could be mad at me for the rest of the day.
and i guess the part that finally clicked with me and upset me is that she knows me more than anyone because i used to be very talkative and bubbly (and to some extent still am) and since i have very few people to talk to, i usually talk to her a lot? she knows so much about me and she still treats me like i’m always doing everything wrong, and i finally realized that that’s why i can’t handle positivity. because the person who knows me better than almost anyone keeps on telling me i’m selfish and disorganized and it’s my fault she’s not out of the house helping people and that i should be trying to help her more than i do, and if she knows me and she thinks that of me, even when i tell her how much it bothers me, maybe the people who know me and love me don’t know me at all, because if they did, they’d think just as little of me as she always seems to, and treat me with the same exasperation and barely-there patience because that’s what she’s made me think i deserve.
it’s just. such a mess. and suddenly i have this whole bucket full of messed-up things she’s done to guilt me and make me feel small and horrible and i don’t know what to do with all this anger when i still, weirdly, kind of love her.
and that last part...really helps? i guess i’ve never thought of it that way because i thought i had some kind of responsibility to her & i thought that that’s the way love is supposed to work. you care about someone and sometimes you listen to them even when you don’t want to & feel talked over because you love them and you want them to be happy. (and then that messed me up about All Conversations because i assume that i’m like my mom and everyone else is just putting up with me when i get sad and angry but...anyway. working through it)
#replies#bewitchinglesbian#for emergencies#thanks for this ♥♥#i wrote a lot & i'm a little scattered & can't word but this really did mean so much
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Can I ask you all 100 questions??
1. What is your middle name?
Lynn
2. How old are you?
17 (18 in about a month)
3. When is your birthday?
November 21st
4. What is your zodiac sign?
Scorpio aS HECK
5. What is your favorite color?
AGH RED/ PURPLE????
6. What’s your lucky number?
5 or 6
7. Do you have any pets?
no :’)
8. Where are you from?
Hell
9. How tall are you?
5 foot 7 binch
10. What shoe size are you?
8 ½ to 9??
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
A GOOD FEW, LEMME COUNT
12????
12. What was your last dream about?
Pennywise the motherfuckin clown was hunting me and I cried,,,t’was spooky
13. What talents do you have?
I can juggle, I act a bit,,,is creativity a talent?
14. Are you psychic in any way?
I DON’T KNOW, BUT I TRIED TO BE. I BOUGHT TAROT CARDS AND A BOOK TO HELP ME BE CLAIRVOYANT BUT IDK
15. Favorite song?
All-time fave: (If you want it) by Relient K
Current fave: Northwood by Oakhill
16. Favorite movie?
kids movie: “All Dogs Go To Heaven”
coming of age movie: “The Perks of being a Wallflower”
super-hero movie: “Spider-man: Homecoming”
Horror movie: “Scream” or “It”
Rom-Com: “Two Night Stand” or “Love, Rosie”
17. Who would be your ideal partner?
Tom??Holland??
18. Do you want children?
I don’t think so, maybe I’ll change my mind when I’m older.
19. Do you want a church wedding?
Not really, I kind of want to elope if I ever get married
20. Are you religious?
No, but I was born into a Catholic family,,,so I’m “supposed” to be but,,,
21. Have you ever been to the hospital?
:’)
Of course
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?
Nope
23. Have you ever met any celebrities?
No, but I once Tinder matched with a guy who is in my new favorite band,,,so,,,
24. Baths or showers?
Showers plz
25. What color socks are you wearing?
none,,,dude,,,
26. Have you ever been famous?
Uh, no? But I’ve been on the cover of the newspaper in my town a few times
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?
I’m not sure I would want to have a big celebrity status, but I’d like to be well-known and successful in what I do.
28. What type of music do you like?
Indie pop or alternative
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
No, but almost a few times??
30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
I have 3 on my bed, but only use 1
31. What position do you usually sleep in?
Curled up with crossed ankles, or sprawled out on my back
32. How big is your house?
Pretty small.
33. What do you typically have for breakfast?
Peanut butter and jelly or cereal
34. Have you ever fired a gun?
n o
35. Have you ever tried archery?
It was actually a lesson in my elementary school P.E. class, so yeah, a few times. My family is also really big into hunting, so my dad bought me a bow for Christmas when I was like, 12? I got pretty good at it, but I don’t hunt so,,it went unused.
36. Favorite clean word?
Cluster
37. Favorite swear word?
Heckin ;)
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?
30 hours
39. Do you have any scars?
A few
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
L O FUCKING L
41. Are you a good liar?
yes
42. Are you a good judge of character?
NO BUT DAMN I WISH THAT I WAS BINCH
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?
I got pretty good at doing a british accent when I was younger
44. Do you have a strong accent?
How the heck would I know?? I had an old friend from England who said that my accent was pretty heavy, but she’s my only source
45. What is your favorite accent?
A U S T RA L I A N
46. What is your personality type?
Sweet & stupid
Mainly naive
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?
Um,,,a sweartshirt that I snatched from my friend’s brother. But as far as things that I’ve purchased myself, my jeans are the most expensive item of clothing at $36
(Also, I realize it sounds like I stole the sweatshirt, but I didn’t. My friend let me keep it because her brother didn’t wear it anymore,,,so)
48. Can you curl your tongue?
Yeet
49. Are you an innie or an outie?
Innie
50. Left or right handed?
right
51. Are you scared of spiders?
A wee bit
52. Favorite food?
I LOVE VEGGIE SUBS OR JALAPENO POPPERS
53. Favorite foreign food?
Hmmm, greek spinach and cheese pie
54. Are you a clean or messy person?
MESSILY CLEAN?
55. Most used phrased?
“hecking, what?” or “Wow, I can’t believe ___”
56. Most used word?
Heck and Fuck
57. How long does it take for you to get ready?
DEPENDS. Some days, 10 minutes. Others? 2 hours
58. Do you have much of an ego?
Ewghhh, probably a lil itty bitty bit
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?
WHAT KIND OF HEATHEN BITES THEM
60. Do you talk to yourself?
Not usually, in my head mostly
61. Do you sing to yourself?
On occasion
62. Are you a good singer?
FUCKING NO,,MISS ME WITH THAT TALENT, BINCH
63. Biggest Fear?
If I’m gonna be serious for a second, my biggest fear is being shot.
64. Are you a gossip?
I mean,,,,,
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?
Umm,,,I don’t know dude..UGHHHH, I hate thinking. HMmmmMMMM,,,,,The Perks of being a Wallflower (God bless its heart) is a bit dramatic. So that one counts
66. Do you like long or short hair?
Personally, I love short hair. But, whatever makes you comfortable is ideal
67. Can you name all 50 states of America?
Michigan, Hawaii, Alaska, North Dakota, South Dakota, Massachusetts, Oregon, Washington, California, New York, Georgia, Nevada, Delaware, Virginia, West Virginia, Florida, Alabama, Maine, Illinois, Indiana, Texas, omg why are there so many states, New Mexico, New Jersey, Tennessee, Louisiana, Kansas, Arkansas, who invented the state system in America bcuz fuck them, oH, Ohio, Idaho, Wisconsin, fuck it I listed 30 off the top of my head so fuck you
68. Favorite school subject?
English (OBVI not geography)
69. Extrovert or Introvert?
Extrovert-ish
70. Have you ever been scuba diving?
No
71. What makes you nervous?
Talking to people without a plan
72. Are you scared of the dark?
Not always
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?
Not in most circumstances.
74. Are you ticklish?
Nah motherhecker
75. Have you ever started a rumor?
Definitely not, don’t be rude
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?
I don’t know, kind of? I’m a co-director for my old school’s theatre program, so that counts technically?
77. Have you ever drank underage?
WHHATTT??? ME?!??? No…
78. Have you ever done drugs?
IS THAT A WEED, I’M CALLING THE POLICE.
79. Who was your first real crush?
I’m not gonna say his name, but he was in my 7th grade class. When I was new to the school, he was one of the few boys who was kind to me.
80. How many piercings do you have?
None, I used to have my ears pierced, gauged even, but one of the holes closed up so,,,
81. Can you roll your Rs?“
NOPE
82. How fast can you type?
I TRY TO BE FAST BUT I’M MERELY AVERAGE AT SPEED TYPING BECAUSE I KEEP FUCKING UP
83. How fast can you run?
I don’t even know or care
84. What color is your hair?
Dark brown, binch
85. What color are your eyes?
Hazel (green and brown)
86. What are you allergic to?
Seafood, bees, and bunnies
87. Do you keep a journal?
Yes
88. What do your parents do?
My mom is a marketing manager for a candy distributor
89. Do you like your age?
Yeah, 17 is fun
90. What makes you angry?
PEOPLE WHO DON’T HAVE MANNERS
91. Do you like your own name?
I’ve grown into my first name, but I’m thinking of getting my last name legally changed.
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?
Charlie and Cadence
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?
If I ever were to be a mom, I would want a son
94. What are you strengths?
None. Not a single,,,one.
95. What are your weaknesses?
Self-doubt
96. How did you get your name?
….
after a country song…
97. Were your ancestors royalty?
lol no
98. Do you have any scars?
A few
99. Color of your bedspread?
Black and white
100. Color of your room?
Cream and Orange. My furniture is mainly black with gray accent colors
Thanks for asking xx
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dumb anxiety journal-type thing. very long and boring. 10/10 dentists would not read.
so today i found out something new about anxiety most people wanna put the definition or feeling of anxiety into a dumb box or whatevr it kinda sucks. you’re shown a list of symptoms and you’re expected to fit the bill
binch you know what? it’s way more than just that. i’ve had social anxiety for my whole life and i was always really confused bc i don’t always show the “normal symptoms” of it and all, but it turns out there’s some other symptoms you can have because anxiety is
STRESS
it’s just this huge amount of stress placed upon you for what seems to be no reason. basically ur getting super stressed in situations where neurotypical people would not get stressed at all.
so the stress triggers ur fight or flight system. in most cases, people will go to “flight mode” and want to leave a situation asap. this mode is the one people usually talk about when talking about anxiety symptoms. so one symptom is having 2 leave a public space bc u feel scared. of course this is a very valid symptom BUT! we’re forgetting about the less talked about FIGHT MODE.
that sounds funny. fight mode
anyway yes, some people will go into FIGHT MODE when they become stressed and anxious. as someone who has this happen, i’ll tell you what it feels like for me:
i have social anxiety so my “triggers” are being in public and being judged. i typically don’t feel “scared”. but my body language will close up and i’ll get really tense. i get super irritable and negative. i’ll tell someone what i need done to alleviate the stress, but my communication skills are really sucky when i’m in this super stressed mode so i can’t really find the words to explain this to people. i end up just sounding angry and instructing people to do things. so people get angry at me for being impatient and panicky.
anyway, i didn’t know that episodes of irritability and negativity could be a result of the stress caused by anxiety. i usually think of someone shaking and scared to leave their room when i think of social anxiety, but i’ve never had a problem with the act of going into public. it’s never really scared me. it’s just that when i get there and there’s people i don’t know all over the place, all who are constantly looking around and potentially judging me, my brain goes kinda haywire and everything becomes a huge source of stress. even noise can be super stressful.
so please remember that everyone will experience anxiety differently. the key to start managing your anxiety is to understand it. pay attention to yourself and the way YOU experience it. remember that the symptoms one person has probably won’t be the exact same symptoms that you have. there’s no one way to feel anxiety.
with that im off to bed bye
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