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muzsmoux · 6 days

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Reviewing tgcf characters because I have thoughts

I finished S2 recently and I need somewhere to put my not exactly hot but like warm (?) takes because it's taking up too much storage space in my brain.

🤍 Xie Lian 🤍

It's a good thing I'm not into guys because if I was I would be on my knees for this man in every sense of that expression and his pet menace to society would mince me up like garlic.

So I'll try to be brief about my overflowing feelings about him. Xie Lian is the best main character I have come across in a WHILE. He's the embodiment of compassion and kindness. And also a cold blooded murderer. A babygirl. A father figure. A terrifying martial god. A silly little guy. A pathological liar. The most genuine man you'll ever meet. He's everything, and Hua Cheng is 100% valid in his obsession. I'm right there with him.

Rating: 10/10

❤️ Hua Cheng ❤️

Idk if we ever figured out who wrote My Immortal but I'm pretty sure we have our culprit.

"Hi my name is Hua Cheng Crimson Rain Sought Flower Red-Robed Ghost King and this is my evil weapon of death E-ming. I've killed soooo many gods with it!! My dark power is I can summon storms of BLOOD and SUFFERING. I have my own scary city of DEMONS and they all love me and think I'm HOT but I only want my BOYFRIEND who's the only REAL GOD so STOP FLAMING HIM YOU POSERS-"

Needless to say I love him. Being the 8 time winner of the Loverboy of the Century Awards with unbeatable records in the yearning olympics is truly a remarkable feat.

Rating: 9/10

(Bonus: E-ming. Cute little guy. Likes his stepdad more than his real dad. Not afraid to show it's feelings even if it makes it look like a muppet, 10/10)

🧡 Feng Xin & Mu Qing 🧡

Tweedle dee and tweedle dum gets a shared rating because they would hate to be grouped together like that and that's funny to me. Their dynamic is great, they're good characters, I wasn't sure which one was which until midway through the second season. But then also I have a pair of 7yo twin cousins who I still can't tell apart despite them not looking even a slight bit similar so that might just be a character flaw on my end. Oops.

Rating: 7/10

🩵Shi Qingxuan🩵

I'm doubling the rating because she is best boy and best girl at the same time. I love that I can use any and all pronouns for him because he's literally a pride parade personified and therefore all of them are correct. You don't get that type of chaotic fun just anywhere.

He is truly living my dream, presenting as whatever gender they want depending on what's more convenient and/or funnier in the moment. Super useful, for things like gathering intel and terrorizing Feng Xin by being a woman.

And I personally think we should crown her the new emperor. She'd look significantly better on that throne, with her Barbie-like radiance and flourishing Kenergy.

Rating: 20/10

🖤 Ming Yi 🖤

Listen, I hate to say it because I like a sunshine x grump moment as much as the next gay but he's just... not giving what he thinks he's giving. Everyone is whispering ominously about him having some dark devastating secret but MY point is no matter how big his boobs are in his female form, Shi Qingxuan could do better. I'm sorry. She really could.

Rating: 4/10

💙 Lang Qianqiu 💙

Just an honest man with good intentions and a sickass fucking sword. He did NOT hesitate to attack the infamous Crimson Rain Sought Flower on SIGHT and I respect a quick decisionmaker, even if it shows some himbo tendencies. He also has the same distinct energy as Fred from Scooby Doo.

Rating: 6/10

💚 Qi Rong 💚

He's got some odd dietary and moral choices going on. Definitely. But he's just such a fun villain!!! Being Xie Lian's nr 1 source of migraines SHOULD make me like him less but I'm sorry, every time he was on screen I was LIVING. He would do numbers on reality TV. Someone put this guy on Kitchen Nightmares, I need to see him 1v1 Gordon Ramsay.

Rating: 7/10

🌚 Jun Wu 🌚

He has his emperor status & DILF card going for him but something about this man just ain't right. If he came to a party I was attending I would cover my drink is all I'm saying.

Rating: 2/10

🔥Pei Ming🔥

I don't know much about him besides he had that one shady empolyee or whatever (could not hear the plot over the deafening sound of Hua Cheng's yearning) but I'm partial to a good manwhore character. The thought of people praying to him like "Hugh Mungus, who art in heaven-" really tickles me.

I know he's probably straight but I headcanon him as at the very least bi-curious because you can't be that hot with that much game and not use it for evil. (That evil being causing large scale gay awakenings among his soldiers.)

Rating: 7/10

❓Pei Xiu❓

Unreliable, unimportant, unattractive, unemployed.

I remember not a singular thing about him besides fucking up Xie Lian's daughter's life and also being on my last nerve from the jump. If you're going to be evil at like least be memorable about it, you know? You can't be a bad person and a bad character at the same time. Pick a struggle.

Rating: 1/10

📚 Ling Wen 📚

I heard she committed some war crimes but honestly if I had to do an entire realm's tax returns by myself AND teach Pei Ming how to read (I refuse to believe that man is literate, just look at him) I would want to rage on occasion too. I hope she has a hot wife waiting for her at home to give her massages after carrying the whole system on her back all day. It's what she deserves.

Rating: 8/10

Thank you for reading!! Opinions might change once I read the books but as of now this is it. Remembering everyone's names has been a journey and a half so this post is sponsored by @kirstenly 's character cheat sheet go look at it! and everything else too!!!

#heaven official's blessing #tian guan ci fu #tgcf #xie lian #hua cheng #feng xin #mu qing #shi qingxuan #ming yi #lang qianqiu #qi rong #jun wu #pei ming #pei xiu #ling wen #sorry for the long post #im just obsessed

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buttercream-princess · 1 year

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Modern Will Turner fluffy & spicy head canon x blackfem! Reader

Warnings: Light smut, pregnancy kink, swearing, fluff, edging, mentions of your family members, tattoo's, spanking

(Not edited or proof-read)

Note: I write most of my characters in modern settings, so this won’t be any different. I may write about him in POTC in the future but that’s something I need to chop up. Also first time writing a headcannon, this was fun making, I'm looking forward to doing some more for Will/Legolas/Orlando.

— Will is very attentive and never misses a single thing. Anything you have interest in, he’ll use his own bare hands to recreate it for you. You like candles? Here’s 1kg worth of candles in all your favorite scents. You like plushies and stuffed animals? Build a bear has nothing on Will’s craftsmanship, he made a lifesize teddy for you to cuddle when he’s not around. He’ll even order parts for his creations from overseas, no matter the price tag, to give you the perfect gift.

—- Adding onto how crafty he is, you never have to worry about breaking anything because Will is always happy to fix it for you and he always does so, effortlessly. He’s tactile and amazing with his hands.

—- He knocked down a wall in his house between his office and guest bedroom, renovated the room, painted the walls your favorite colors and furnished it with all your favourite things including a wall hung TV, neon lights, a pink desktop and plants. Just so you can have your own space when you’re at his house. He wants you to feel like his home is yours too.

—- He loves going to IKEA with you, it’s like a playground for him to find things to build for you and your room. When you get Hotdogs in the food court with him later and get mustard on your face, he’ll grab you by the chin and lick the sauce off. Anytime you get food on your face, he does this. Why wipe it off when he can just clean it off you?

—- Will’s intelligence is unlike anyone you’ve met before, but when he’s not using his head, he’s a bit of a himbo, giving off strong Kenergy. He might know how to solve enigmatic riddles quickly and build houses from scratch but he’s clueless when it comes to most general things. He’ll always regard you as the smarter one in the relationship. In his mind you’re everything and he’s just Will. He adores you that much.

—- He has a tattoo of your name and a blue butterfly next to it on his hip bone. This man is whipped. Gone and lost in your love. He’s considering getting your initials tattooed behind his ear.

—- Will’s independent by nature but gosh, he is one needy motherfucker, but in the most adorable way. He’s coming with you to run errands to the beauty store, late night Target trips or waiting in the corner of the salon while you get your nails done. And he’s always paying, he never lets your credit card touch the reader.

—- Will can listen to you talk for hours about your life and yourself. He finds everything about you whimsical, enchanting and seductive. Even if you’re babbling about delusions and made up scenarios, he’ll react with big emotions like it’s happening right in the moment just because he loves you that much.

—- Will collects records that you love listening to. He says, “The record is always better than streaming it.”

—- Will use to only listen to symphonies and classical music before you came into his life. Now, he listens to everything you listen to. He’s fallen in love with Neo-soul and R&B and refuses to listen to anything else.

—- His favorite song is “Stay Ready (What A Life) by Jhene Aiko and forever dedicates that tune to you. Whenever the song plays, he always sings to you, “They say the truth ain't pretty. But comin’ out that pretty mouth the truth is fitting. Cuz you ain't never talkin loud and you know plenty. Yea you know what I'm talkin bout, cuz you just get me, Yea you so pretty”, And he means every word of it. That song was written just for you, he believes.

—- Even though you and Will are just dating and don’t have kids, he always refers to you as “His wife” or “Mother of my children”

—- Will’s favorite part of being intimate with you is undressing you. There’s something about seeing you come undone only and all for him, that makes him want to be closer to you, underneath your skin even.

—- Will love’s quickies and to give you a quick orgasm in the middle of the day. But there’s nothing he loves more than giving you a sensual, candle lit, slow jam’s experience. After a long day at work, expect Will to be ready for you with a bottle of aromatherapy bottle oil, ready to iron out all your tight muscles and kinks. And of course, this massage always leads to him giving you and internal rub down too.

—- Will edges you any chance he gets. Sometimes you just wanna snatch your vibrator off him and hit him with it because he won’t let you cum. But he always lets you finally get off if you ask him kindly. He likes manner’s in the bedroom.

—- He has a pregnancy kink. He always moans about putting a baby in you while having sex. So you can imagine he always wants to do it raw. He always begs for you to wrap your legs and arms around him while he cums.

— He gives you warnings in the bedroom if you’re rushing the pleasure too quickly. Will believes pleasure should be savored and reveled in. Greedily chasing your release and out of warnings? That’s a hard pop to your behind, leaving your cheeks red and sore. But he quickly runs his hand over your skin, soothing you. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. See what happens when you don’t listen? Hmmm?” he murmurs in your ear before sliding two fingers back in you.

—- Only with you, Will reveals how intimidating he is in the bedroom. But in front of others, he’s the most kind respectful gentleman anyone has ever met. All your friends and everyone in your family loves him. He quickly picks up on social dynamics and easily blends himself into the environment as if he was always a part of it. You can find Will at family barbecues, bonding with your uncles over different cuts of meat and taking over the grill, which your father never allows but Will’s charmingly convincing.

—- Will always plays house and dress up with your younger family members. He takes it seriously too. You best believe he’s rocking a blue lid and red lippie with confidence after playing makeovers.

—- Will comes with you to all your social events, he just loves being around you and hyping you up in all settings. You can find him at clubs, bars and music festivals, right behind you, jamming out and spreading the good vibes. He’s even buying you and your girls rounds of bottomless cocktails at brunch.

—- Will’s a fencing prodigy, of course. He also practices MMA. His strength, determination and will is unmatched. You love sitting in the audience of his matches when he’s given trophies, standing the breathless, T-shirtless and sweaty, dressed in his little fitted shorts showing all his business, knowing that’s all yours.

—- After matches in the ring or on the mats, Will just wants to cozy himself up under your shirt, cuddling you and weakly lying against your skin.

#Will turner fanfiction #Will Turner headcannon #pirates of the carribean x reader #Pirates of the carribean fanfiction #orlando bloom fanfiction #will turner x reader #black reader fan fiction #black!reader #black reader smut #will turner smut #will turner fluff #orlando bloom smut #orlando bloom fluff #black female writer

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rosepascal · 10 months

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some pedro characters that have Kenergy

i saw the barbie movie and it made me emotional and i loved it so here are some of the pedro characters I think would make great Kens and why. im open to suggestions and comments too

Javi Gutierrez is peak kenergy. He’s so goofy and sweet. He’s got a big heart and he’s just the cutest. I think he would make a great Ken because he’s got such a soft personality and seems so loving.

Din Djarin has major kenergy. We love a man who believes in strong empowered women and that’s exactly what he was like with Bo Katan. Okay yeah he’s a bounty hunter and all but more importantly he’s a loving dad and he’s got the himbo vibes. I know he’s not dumb but he’s got the energy. It’s the “Is that a bench?” for me.

Frankie Morales is another one. I might be biased because I love Frankie so much but he just seems like a guy who would do anything for his girls u know?? Like he’s a military guy but he’s caring and he seems very secure as a man. Also he’s a girl dad i dont care it’s canon and so he wants what is best for his baby girl.

Marcus Pike!!! Marcus would do anything you asked for and more. He’s a cool FBI agent who loves his wife. Those are the vibes. He doesn’t overly express it though but he expresses it through his actions more. He just seems like he’d be happy to be there.

Joel Miller. Okay okay This might be a hot take. I love Joel a lot but he’s not what I think of when I think Ken. Butttt I feel like he lacks toxic masculinity even if he’s a tough, violent, cold guy. Like on the outside you think he’d be a stereotypical “man” but in reality he’s a total girl dad who loves his daughters, he’s got a lot of self doubt, and with him and Tess it’s clear in the show that he respects her and probably thinks higher of her than himself. That’s ken enough for me to see him as a ken. Even if he’d be a grumpy introvert ken.

#joel miller #pedro pascal #frankie morales #din djarin #javi gutierrez

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courtneysmovieblog · 9 months

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“Barbie” does not come to play

Just the idea of a Barbie movie was enough for people to mock it as much as the doll itself. “Is this necessary?” “We’re making movies about TOYS now?” “Why Margot Robbie?!” “Ryan Gosling is too old to play Ken now!”

Well, everybody owes Margot, Ryan, and director Greta Gerwig an apology. Because despite everyone’s doubts, this is the best movie of the summer.

Margot Robbie is a Stereotypical Barbie living in Barbie-Land, a pastel and plastic utopia where Barbies can be anyone they want to be, just like in the real world…at least that’s what they think until she starts malfunctioning and wondering about her own mortality. The resident Weird Barbie (Kate McKinnon) advises her to go to the Real World and fix whatever’s wrong with the girl playing with her. But when she and a tagalong Ken show up there, the Mattel company (led by Will Ferrell) tries to send them back…

That’s the movie the trailers made us think we were seeing….but it’s not the whole story.

Barbie isn’t a just a fish-out-of-water vs a big corporation story. It winds up being a parable about gender inequality and nonconformity—everything some people actually blame Barbie for. Yes, Greta Gerwig isn’t afraid to tackle Barbie’s complicated legacy. She made us believe we could do anything…but also made us insecure about ourselves.

Margot Robbie is fantastic. She captures every bit of Barbie’s perky sweetness, which gradually matures into depth as the movie progresses. She may have finally found the role that upstages Harley Quinn.

And Gosling doesn’t just live up to the hype as Ken. He IS the hype. Screw whoever said he’s “too old”. He’s as hot as ever and channels every last bit of his himbo Kenergy role.

Of course they aren’t the only Barbies and Kens in this movie. There are too many cameos to mention, but they’re all fantastic. Say what you want about Simu Limu, he understands the assignment as much as Gosling.

And having so many different kinds of Barbies and Kens stresses the point many overlook: Barbie isn’t just a stereotype anymore. She’s been evolving. It’s not just white girls, people of all races and body types can be one. And that’s pretty awesome.

Everyone in this movie clearly had a ball, especially America Ferrera, who gets the movie speech of the year about the duality of feminism. But even if you’re the type to roll your eyes at the “heavy-handed” message, it’s still a fun movie that can be enjoyed by anyone, flaws and all.

The tagline summed it up best: if you loved Barbie, this movie is for you, and even if you hated her, it’s still for you.

And you’re damn right I was a Barbie girl. I’m not ashamed.

10 out of 10

#barbie #review

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22degreehalo · 5 months

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Okay so a LOT of people have responded to my Barbie post so I really should be reading through all that first (but scawy) but I finally put something into words in my head

Every single man in the Barbie movie is a comic relief character. A pitiable, at least slightly pathetic, idiot.

Now. That is exactly the sort of thing that conservative commentators would point to to say that the movie hates men. And the Barbie fan's response, of course, would be that men deserve to be ridiculed, and that the movie isn't coddling them, and that men are acting like whiny babies for not being taken seriously when women never get that.

But I have the opposite take. The men all fit into that 'loveable himbo bumbling dad' type archetype. The relatable ordinary everyday man. The dummy who somehow manages to bag a hyper-competent 10/10 girlfriend in every Adam Sandler movie.

Yes, in many ways the idea of men having emotions is mocked; but also, the men get to be funny. There's a reason everyone posts memes about Ken and Kenergy and stuff over anything Barbie says. He's the fun one!

In that sense... the movie doesn't feel like it's reversing or parodying or commentating on anything at all. It's just bog standard gender roles in television: women are Closer To Earth and don't need to change much, but are pretty static and boring, while men are weird and funny and likeable and changeable, able to be bad but able to be redeemed, at the cost of having their more nuanced and sensitive emotions cheapened.

I wondered if it was meant to relate to the commentary at the end: that women HAVE to be perfect, and aren't allowed to make mistakes and be forgiven. But then in that case... why don't the women get to be funny, too? To anywhere near the same degree? Why doesn't the Barbie movie show us a silly, ridiculous, loveable himbo of a woman?

Why doesn't any woman actually get to do bad things and have them taken seriously? They complain about having to act perfect all the time... but are they not? When do we actually see those faults and failures, aside from as a result of 'burdened by the expectations of society' which of course is actually society's fault and not theirs? Barbie complains in the end about not really being good at anything, and that's good! But she still doesn't seem bad at anything, either. And nobody ever so much as implies that the way she treated those societally considered Lesser to her was actually pretty shitty.

The biggest difference between the way we portray women vs men in media, to me, is the idea of internal conflict and change. Women tend to just exist as they are, only impacted by external forces. They don't make conscious decisions to do things, or have their minds change, or grow into something different. They just ARE, flat characters.

Men, meanwhile, get to be tormented. Get to decide to work harder and then ultimately prove themselves. Get to be tempted by bad people, and make bad decisions, but ultimately show that they are capable of trying and working hard and doing better. It's not so much that men are allowed to be bad, as that men are allowed to consist of multitudes. Women usually just have to be one thing, and that's it.

And who is it who changes the most over the course of the movie? Who gets the big internal shift? Who has their understanding of reality challenged, and is affected by it, and makes decisions based on that, and faces the consequences of those decisions, and then ultimately decides to reverse things? It's Ken. It's just Ken.

I don't think it's super bad or regressive that Barbie starts out in an existential crisis and then just sorta ends that way. I think that's actually insightful, that mental illness can't so easily be overcome, that sometimes you really are changed by something and then can never make things 'normal' again.

But it's often pointed out that the relationship between the real-world mother and daughter never really sorta... goes very far. They disagree, but then the daughter shows sympathy to her mother, and that's pretty much it. We don't see much real change or conflict or true acrimony between them. We don't get a sense for internal thought processes. Of course, they're just side characters. But it adds to the whole of the movie and what the writers are comfortable doing with male vs female characters.

That the men are treated like babies for having feelings (despite being the oppressed group, in most cases here) is... discomfiting. But the sympathetic ending really does feel like a result of us only really being comfortable telling stories about men acting badly and being redeemed. Seen another way, yeah: men are allowed to act like babies and be forgiven. Barbie doesn't have the courage to do the same for women, even while decrying that same ideology. Not even at the very end.

Surely there has to be a better way to do this? Surely we can tell a story about women being expected to be perfect without them all actually being mostly flawless and Normal? Surely we can tell a story about the things men really struggle with, their problems that aren't taken seriously, without mocking all of them but then sighing and shrugging and going 'welll but we should be nice anyway :)'

#like. idk man. i think we should care abt men's issues because mental health matters #and because gender isn't the only form of oppression #and quite a lot of 'punching up' actually just targets those forms of societally accepted punching bags #with the transparent hand-wave of a 'male' tag to make it all okay #like that all is. an actual important part of the message #and if you take it all out idk what's even being said anymore #but it sounds like what some feminists do claim about men's issues #that men are worse in every way and their feelings aren't real but we're supposed to be nice anyway just because #not that i think general kindness is a bad message. but it doesnt seem like barbie says that either #i don't know man #barbie 2023

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