#being so unbrave about it
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off to the er 🫡
#being so unbrave about it#my mom was like what if it’s meningitis and like that’s not helping#can’t even tell if my neck is particularly stiff because it literally always is#personal#medical stuff tw
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augh the horrors are at it
#i like can't find happiness in my main fandom atm...or at least not easily right now ;_;#also I'm getting over a mild cold and I'm being so unbrave about it lol#ok I'm gonna try and get out of bed soon. sigh#IT'S OKAY I HAVE TO REMEMBER#i have other lovely friends in this fandom besides the one who was shitty to me#the ooze will clear eventually and I'll be able to enjoy it#until then. well there's other hyperfixations!
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NEW ETHEL CAIN SONG!!! EAT OF ME BABY SKIN TO THE BONE BODY ON BODY UNTIL I’M ALL GONE BUT I’M WITH YOU INSIDE!!! WHAT
WHAT POSSESSED HER
#and it's the first release from willoughby tucker. im being so unbrave an d cowardly about it#ethel cain#ask
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the 'he freezes and freaks out all the time' is such a terrible take lmao. we've seen the teenager gang shitting their pants in this very same season and they are older. will was 12-13 years old at best when a giant demogorgon kidnapped him and a giant spider smoke monster entered his body. but he always showed his bravery in both of those scenes. he did everything right and grabbed a gun, but ended up being unlucky against the demogorgon. he stood up against a literal giant spider monster and screamed at his face. but he was unlucky again. that doesn't make him unbrave
also, are we forgetting that he survived the UD and figured out how it works just by himself? he figured out how to communicate to joyce, he figured out how to use the lights, he figured out how to cheat the demogorgon for days etc. that is how the teenagers in S4 knew how to use the lights. because Will did figure out first.
damn, that's crazy, because will himself literally describes it as being frozen, and the creators as well as noah describe will as generally being someone that is, and i quote, "scared of everything."
but scared doesn't make him "unbrave," as you say. bravery is all about being scared, but doing the scary thing anyway. in fact, i've often said that's the entire thesis of will's character. that specific brand of bravery can be applied to pretty much every facet of his personality and story, which is precisely what makes him such a striking character that's so easy to love. will is scared of many things and that's okay.
you're getting defensive for no reason. everyone feels fear. will's fear and his reactions to it are literally what have saved his life. running, hiding, and trying his best to communicate with his mom are prime examples. it's when he doesn't listen to his instincts and takes someone else's advice that he fails—much like eddie, in season four.
will being scared and having a freeze response due to his ptsd is not a character flaw nor a negative trait. he is often scared. he often needs help. he doesn't volunteer to go first or stand in front. he hides, and he runs, and he clings to others, and that's okay. that doesn't make him any less brave or any less capable. that doesn't erase everything that he's accomplished. he fights back and he has use within the group—it just looks different. would you say that characters like max and dustin are useless? no, you wouldn't. but people say that about will. why?
they've all encountered unimaginable horrors, especially will, whose experiences have given him a disorder and an all-consuming direct and seemingly inalienable connection with the source of those horrors. on top of all that, he's also still just a kid that already had it a little rough before all of this. his response and the way that they've handled it makes sense.
i don't understand why saying this, which is to say just pointing at the show and the things the creators of the show have said themselves, is so controversial. i don't understand where the idea of scared being synonymous with cowardly came from. i don't understand how a character freezing, just like other characters have freezed before, is such a bad thing. i don't understand how people can look at will and think that he's so one dimensional, as if one trait or uncontrollable habit cancels out everything else that makes him him.
as if needing help makes you useless and weak. as if being scared means you're dragging the group down. as if everyone needs to fight back in the same acceptable way to be considered worthy and equal.
like, respectfully, shut up lol. every single time this conversation comes up, people always put words in my mouth that i didn't ever say. your assumptions and pitiful view of other human beings in moments of distress is not my problem. and if you somehow still have a problem with will being the way that he is, take it up with the people that write him and act out his story for us to see! i'm going based off of what they've written and presented in their show, as well as the words they've spoken in interviews. believe it or not, i don't pull things out of my ass, because i actually like this show and the characters as they are.
editing to add: will's freeze response comes after the events of season one as part of his ptsd. the entire plot of season two is that will is no longer the same after what he's experienced. there's a moment in 2x03 in mr. clarke's class, where they're discussing phineas gage and it's a direct reference to will. the scene starts with him exiting bob's car and walking into the school, feeling uneasy about everyone looking at him oddly. it then transitions to the classroom, where we focus on him and how max is also studying him.
The case of Phineas Gage is one of the great medical curiosities of all time. Phineas was a railroad worker in 1848 who had a nightmarish accident. A large iron rod was driven completely through his head.
Phineas miraculously survived. He seemed fine. And physically, yes, he was. But his injury resulted in a complete change to his personality. So much so that friends that knew him started referring to him as "No longer Gage."
will's arc has always centered around childhood, innocence, and nostalgia, because he desperately wants to go back, but cannot. this is reflected in his narrative as well as his wardrobe choices, with all parties involved repeating the same thing. him destroying castle byers is a pivotal moment, because it's then that he finally starts to accept this and begin his coming of age. this theme is much of what this character represents. he's different now, no longer the same kid, and that's the entire point. he's "zombie boy", "no longer [will]."
additionally, forced impregnation and possession are violations of his body. it doesn't matter that an extra-dimensional creature or eldritch horror did it instead of a human being (and even then, they did it at the command of a human being). will said "no" and those creatures did it anyway. it's textual and it is what it is. freezing is a common trauma response, and especially a common response to that particular brand of trauma. so, like. what the fuck do you want me to tell you at this point?
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my laptop charger broke and honestly i’m not being brave about it at all i am so very unbrave and i will be until thursday when the new one comes ☹️ but it’s okay bc i’m cute
#starspeak#literally so frustrating. it really is just always fucking something#i wanna say i’m being so brave about it but i’m NAWT i’m being an angry little guy about it i’m so upset .
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I have cramps and I'm being so unbrave about it
#:(#i am just the embodiment of :(#and partner is working (yay!) and therefore can't play games for me (boo!)
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something something whatever it doesn't matter, kitty signs up as an escorter. she's feeling herself. thinks she's cute enough to be a sugar baby. maybe. it's the freedom. she got dumped by her ex, no one believes her when she says she's 22, and can't stand being alone.
she gets a match. luka couffaine, someone she's never met, asking to meet tonight at a restaraunt she recognizes from the bus loop she takes— his treat. she scours the internet searching for a menu and inhales her poptart wrong when she sees how many "$" symbols google provides for her next to the name.
she spends the entire afternoon working out. she's a hamster in a hamster wheel going nuts and crazy, texting him in between sets, getting to know each other because she feels so unbrave. he has a younger sister. he finds sashimi gross, but he's a pescetarian, even though he doesn't mind that she eats meat. his favorite color is blue. she tries not to jump at the impulse to run back home and ransack her dresser drawer for her matching underwear set in the exact shade.
okay, okay. this is fine. her workout routine takes two hours. she knows that by heart. she has enough time to go home, shower, shave, wash her hair and blowdry it. she'll take the metro. gare du nord is hard to miss.
luka is easy. kind. he's sweet— what's a guy like him doing on this website, oh god, what is he up to? the piercings and tattoos kind of give away what he's into, but he's so attentive, completely at odds with the slight edge he dresses like. asks about her, laughs at the way she offers tentative jokes, an all-around really sweet guy. so far. he's got skeletons in his closet. surely. how has nobody snatched him up yet?
she's not this lucky. is he into feet? would she be okay with him being into feet? does the idea of him being into her feet make her feel things?
"are you still hungry?" he asks, when she's finished her plate and she's stimming underneath the table as soundlessly as possible by moving her ankles, eyeing up the dessert menu on the side.
"no, no. i'm fine."
"if you're hungry, you're hungry."
"i'm fine," she tries.
he's laughing with his eyes, even as he tries to keep polite with his mouth in a straight line. "how about this. i get the flan with a single spoon, and when you confess that you're still hungry, i'll feed you across the table. if not, you'll just have to watch me eat it by myself."
and miss out the condensed milk? oh, god. how could she ever do that to herself? the though of him reaching over with those large arms, just to hold a spoon up into her mouth— he'd follow the action with his eyes, watch her lick her lips clean, watch her chew, just like he's been doing all night, oh god. she's having a problem in these blue panties.
"sorry— sorry," she exhales. squeaks. huffs. something between the three. "i'm just... nervous."
he looks kicked. "nervous?"
"not about you! well, about you. but not about you—" shit, he looks so kicked, fuck— "i just really want to make a good impression with you. on you. about you." foot things aside, things seem to be going well. "i don't want to fuck this up. i ran a few kilometres today at the gym to calm down the nerves of today, but i don't think it was enough. i'm a little stressed out."
"oh," he says, shoulders lowering back down from his ears. "why are you so stressed out? all we're doing is having dinner. i thought it was going okay."
"it is," she whines. "that's the problem. because things like this don't just go well or okay for someone like me, i always make a critical error somewhere. i'm going to aqcuiece and order the flan and end up dropping a whole rubbery piece on my dress. i'm going to choke on my wine and cough all over you. i'm going to say something so stupid, you'll ghost me before i even get the door to my appartment building open."
"that's not—" he blinks slowly. "oh. wait. it's actually your first time doing this?"
"yeah. it's obvious, isn't it?"
"to be honest, no," he says, rubbing at the back of his neck. "you're a natural. i was wondering if you do this often because you're so easy to talk to."
her head snaps up. "really?"
"absolutely. are you sure this is your first time?"
"positive." she pauses to clink a knife with her nail. "okay, so you're not weirded out by the way i sip wine?"
he snorts. "no. absolutely not. i think it's really cute, actually, how you're struggling to drink it."
"i can't let sixty euros a glass go to waste."
"who cares, i'm paying anyways. if you don't like something, tell me. i'm not forcing you to eat or do anything you don't want, be vocal when you don't like something."
"b-but i don't want to behave like a brat," she reasons.
there's just a beat too long in the conversation where he rubs at his tricep with a giant hand as if to warm himself up from the cold. "maybe i like brats."
kitty is having a liquid meltdown in her panties.
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i want to sleep but i have a tomach ache 😔 i am being so unbrave about it. this is the greatest discomfort i have ever suffered.
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tummy hurts n i’m being so UNBRAVE about it. wish there was a word for unbrave
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Tummy hurts and I'm being so unbrave about it
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I miss my partner and I'm being so unbrave about it
#i fucking hate love bc if love why sad#midnighttalk#my head hurts#if have job for money#why no time to use money
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i have cramps right now and i am being so unbrave about it the world is so cruel to me forever >:(
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my core hurts and im being so unbrave about it
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saw a bad post and I'm being so unbrave about it
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this will make NO sense because i wrote it all at like 4am
ok ok so im thinking more about the future kajemac au that @/nodudeshutup came up with. and. i just rly wanna think about how everyone is feeling in it?? because i feel like future kj would get internally REALLY stressed out when 3 kids, one of which identical to her wife, show up at her doorstep, she'd just do a better job of hiding it and keeping a semi-cool demeanor than erin did. on the outside shes like, ok guys, come sit down and explain wtf is happening. but in her brain shes like 'oh my god i can't deal with this, i can't do this without mac, i need her to come home, but if we reveal to small mac that we're married it'll fuck up the future and she'll freak out, i need to call her, but what if this time travel thing has affected her too, what if she's hurt rn????'
she doesnt rly know how she's supposed to interact with them without ripping the space-time continuum apart or something, but they get along fine, even if mac doesn't trust her, so she's being relatively quiet and brooding and making snarky comments, with a few homophobic remarks thrown in for good measure (because of course kj's incapable of not talking about her unnamed wife). kj's like, wow, you were even meaner than i remember, and mac's like 'what's that supposed to mean?' and it's not like she can explain any more, but getting thrown back so hard makes her emotional and 'oh my god kj, you are 42, you can't cry in front of these teenagers, they'll make fun of you.'
and when mac finally comes home with 1988 kj, shes still confused as hell (but relieved) but now future mac's the one panicking because oh my god theres four of them.
she leaves small kj with the other girls to reunite with them (and make eye contact for 1 (one) second with mac, who looks like her insides are on fire and wow, isn't that an interesting piece of carpet that i'm not going to tear my eyes away from for as long as humanly possible now) and goes to the kitchen with *her* kj to ask what the hell is going on, and how did they get here, and are you okay??!? but kj does a good job of calming her down and explaining what little she knows, and they hug for a minute before they're prepared to go back and deal with whatever the fuck is going on in the living room.
and maybe mac sees through the ajar door, and sees what will inevitably be her and kj, being each others' first priority in the face of possibly-the-world-they-know-ending?-or-at-least-getting-fucked-up because theyve grown up to be safe havens for one another. they grew up and they're still best friends, in love or not. maybe she looks back to her kj, negotiating a plan with erin and tiff, and thinks, it may as well be like this. i can't hate kj for a future neither of us can control, because i want us to survive this whole stupid time travel thing, even if this is what happens 30 years after.
she may as well stick with her until this is all over. after that we'll just see what happens - because she can't really process the idea of liking girls at all right now, so she's just going to have to shelve this whole thing until she has the capacity to even try to deal with it, or until she gets a moment alone with kj, to talk about, you know, this.
so, feeling unusually unbrave for mackenzie coyle, she wanders to join the rest of the group and stands awkwardly next to kj, as some sort of peace dove to say, hey, i won't be weird about this if you won't. and maybe she doesn't notice, but kj's biting back a relieved smile. she had been holding her breath for a minute, as soon as she noticed mac walking over, expecting her to want nothing to do with the girl that's probably the catalyst for her lesbian awakening. except it was less of a gentle, fully-rested awakening, and more of a violent, sudden awakening with cold water involved or something. does that make sense?
mac has no idea, but kj's not quite as confused as she is. believe you me, she's still incredibly confused, but after she touched that monster thing, it... sort of lines up with finding out she's going to marry mac? she'd never admit it, and she's ashamed that this is what she's worried about, but the biggest thing on her mind right now is 'wow. i really hope that vision comes true, then.'
#sorry this is so rambly my brain is all over the place#but basically im a fan of the lgbtq+#any additions and ideas are welcome and encouraged!!!!#paper girls#image comics#mackenzie coyle#kajemac#kj brandman#kj x mac#mac coyle#papergirls au
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So, my thoughts on bd2 so far (still not done) are both spoilery and...a little salty, so under a cut they go. I’ll get the good out of the way first.
BDII is pretty nice as a return to the brave/default battle system and asterisk system. The controls are pretty fluid (once I realized I could press zr to unbrave in the middle of commands lol). Music and visuals are both nice. THE CHARACTER THEMES ARE DISTINCTIVE AGAIN (I still like BD1′s set the most, but in BD2 I can tell you which theme is which character’s and uh. I wouldn’t be able to do that with b2nd’s). “A Hectic Moment” is very fun.
And then like. Both the story and parts of the game design are baffling to me. I was not surprised by the prologue feeling dry because. BD game. Partially because it was a BD game I half-expected Sloan to defy his death flag parade and simply be forced to retire due to a wound or something similar but ok, he died. And first chapter made me hopeful! I don’t care at all for Orpheus (even as “love to hate” he just ends up kind of “meh”) and Anihal and Bernard felt a bit one note at first, but the twist with Castor where it seemed like his flaw was prejudice and then it was oh no backstabber was good.
The maniacal laughter kind of ruined it a bit, but still, good. (On this note, Castor and ...pretty much every ch. 2 asterisk holder had me thinking for a while that the asterisks handed out by the woman might have been tampered with and were driving people nuts, but at this point, seems firmly not to be a case, Castor was ax-crazy on his own. Okay.) And a later flashback about Anihal and Bernard made me regret a bit that the latter had died.
But like also at this point I’m kind of concerned that there hasn’t been any inner party conflict. Or like.........internal doubts. Or anything.
Ch. 2 was initially a bit funny for everyone having The Accent but eventually I got properly into it and, yes, all three people grieving a lost child was pretty touching.
Screw those woods though and why is the institute set up like that??? I know this is an RPG but guys. Guys. they’re supposed to be brilliant at that institute, at least one person would have set up the bare minimum of a rope ladder so they didn’t have to deal with the nonsense in between floors.
And then there was Folie. Folie’s dungeon is AMAZING. Her job is good.
Her boss fight is utter bs when you’re punished for using two different mage jobs and the character in general is just.............idk. I kind of preferred Mona’s death being accidental because it seems rather odd for someone like Folie who does not seem particularly attuned to others’ emotions to be like “ah yes, let me kill zis little girl and zen all of these people will be emotionally vulnerable for me to give zem my paintings” --yes, I also hated the accent.
I am of the opinion that there is no bad VA in this game (thus far) but goodness, the direction some of them were given.
Ch. 3 was interesting intrigue wise and the reveal with Adelle was GREAT but it also hinged very heavily on this being a BD game, since they made it obvious from the start of the chapter that, hmm, there’s something funny about her. (Honestly my guess had been shapeshifting dragon, so I wasn’t quite surprised by her saving Martha, though I WAS a little surprised by Martha not SAVING HERSELF BY JUMPING AWAY BECAUSE SHE WAS A FREAKING DRAGOON.) The party’s surprise at this is dealt with very quickly. Elvis’ reaction is kind of cute but it also just...........seems to cement that there’s never going to be any inner-party conflict, and there doesn’t seem to be any internal character conflict either, so it’s kind of just. Guys. Pls. Something interesting.
Coming back to world design: this religion feels so dumb and poorly-designed (Martha is in DIRECT CONTACT WITH THE LORD OF DRAGONS BUT ISN’T TRUSTED TO KNOW HIS WISHES??? THE FAIRY TRIALS ARE A ‘TRADITION’ BUT ALL THE DRAGONS ARE COOL WITH ADELLE???) and why is their holy hall full of crumbling walls and is, in fact, the only place I’ve found so far to “smash rock”? Yes, it has been bugging me.
the highlight of ch. 4 was Lonsdale, because he might not be the most original character concept, but it was interesting to have an antagonist with morals who has a friendly drink with Seth and warning for him at the tavern. (Also Seth’s piss-poor job at pretending to be just recovered from a cough for all of one sentence. And, in my game, while wearing heavy armor.) The low point was finding out how absolutely pointless Adam is.
It’s just....been very mixed and somewhat mediocre with the story, and lbr bd and b2nd both had issues with story too, but bd had an endearing cast that b2nd heavily borrowed from. The BD2 warriors of light seem very obviously inspired by bd crew but Seth never grieves his lost crew or misses his hometown or shows any uncertainty about the question of him living again. Gloria welcomes Elvis and Adelle easily even though they’re both clear about working in self-interest and there are never any trust issues even when Adelle’s concealed identity is revealed.
I’m not saying they should have had the exact same issues (esp since Gloria didn’t have any set up for mistrusting fairies) but they don’t have ANY issues.
I may now be at a point where Gloria does have an issue but it’s just kind of...1) there should have been at least a couple tell-tale hints about this sooner, it could have been as subtle as the king of Halcyonia gently suggesting she consider the marriages which would have painted him first as possibly evil, then as possibly just sexist or out-of-touch, and then finally you realize oh he knew and was hoping they could find other solution and trying to get her to consider a future that wasn’t dying (I think he knows. or at least I hope because if they gotta do this every 200 years then Gloria????? who knows to pass this down???? were you gonna teach your traumatized companions the secrets of being a vestal-lite as you were dying? because you didn’t.) 2) it’s just kinda. too late. A part of me is checked out. I know there is more and that the bd-style tweeest is finally starting, but this was the end of ch. 5 and both the main crew and story just haven’t been that interesting. If this wasn’t a bd game and I hadn’t gotten impatient enough about wanting to know about one detail that I spoiled myself for it being a fake ending, there is a high chance that I would have watched the credits, gone “well, okay. that was the game” and just set it aside.
And then maybe a few days later gone “wait they never explained the book was it buried in some request” because there is SO MUCH buried in requests and reloaded the game, but yeah. I still wanna fill in the gaps of what I’m missing, but I’m probably going to be slowing my pace and I really doubt I’m going to be active in the fandom because none of the characters have really grabbed my interest that hard.
#my thoughts on bd2 are also apparently a wall of text#so. that's a warning#bravely default ii spoilers#salt
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