Its ok we love beefy five layer burrito anyways

just thinking about how scrawny neil probably was when he showed up at psu. like he’s wiry and got some lean muscle, bc he runs and had played exy in arizona the last year, but he makes several comments throughout all three books about eating when you can, even if you aren’t hungry. this boy hasn’t had a reliable source of food for the last 8 years during some pretty critical development years. we know he can’t be eating super well in millport (school lunches are probably his best bet?) (I wonder if hernandez casually 'forgot’ snacks around the locker room)

so here’s this short, skinny kid who rolls up with a single duffle bag he’s neurotically attached to, has feet blessed by hermes, and an attitude problem. no wonder people keep calling him a piece of work. (thankful for the comfort that he gets healthier in so many ways during uni)

Why not enjoy the view together?

Not really a question, but sometimes I think about '03 Leatherhead meeting your Sep AU Donnie and how much that kid would just absolutely break his heart. 03 LH was very messed up by getting experimented on by Bishop, so I think meeting this little mutant turtle who'd endured painful experimentation since he was like, 8 would just absolutely devastate him.

And the fact that Donnie doesn't even really see anything wrong with what Draxum did to him would make it even worse. I feel like LH would jump on the "Let's murder the goatman" train pretty quickly.

God I so want to bring 2003 LH into the AU somehow, and this ask just gave me an excuse to finally draw him lol. LH, Honeycutt, and Jennika are so on my list—somehow someway they’re gonna show up. For the prof I don’t much care which version it, (and Jennika I obs don’t have a lot of options lol) but I love love love poor 2003 Leatherhead. There was just something missing with his 2012 version I don’t know what 🤷🏻‍♀️.

And you’re so right. Think of how hard a time LH had watching 03’Donnie when he was double-mutated, just imagine how heartbroken he’d be seeing our boy.

okay so i am dumb and accidentally deleted the original ask but i had saved a screenshot so! heh oops

also crossed something out bc… hmm

jake taking out his stress and frustration on you after a meeting. having you on the edge of the table with your legs draped over his shoulders as he pistons his hips into you. your hands crumpling the papers around you as you writhe and shake under him, accidentally knocking down equipment but you were too lost in the pleasure to care.

jake's movements are harsh and sloppy. he hefts your legs further up his body, his biceps flexing as he holds your thighs flush against his toned chest. each thrust of his hips were enough to knock the air out of your lungs and your nails scratch down the hardwood. the sound of your name leaving his lips echos in your ears and it was enough to send your mind reeling.

he gently hushes your cries, reaching down to rub soothing circles into your cheekbone. his pace never falters and an airy moan escapes his lips as he feels you tighten around his cock. jake presses a sloppy kiss to the inside of your ankle before he huffs, "atta girl, always so good f'me."

Chris looked outside at the chaos below in search of its cause. Whatever presented itself here was big… really big. Like BIG, BIG.

Well, it was a good thing his thong was tiny. Perhaps it might help balance things out. Gay fashion always did thrive on size differences and exaggerated proportions.

Whatever it was, it was what it was, and what that was Chris didn’t know.

The people below sure seemed pretty clued in tho…

What Chris needed was more back up …but could he wear more than one thong? The thought consumed him. This second thong thing was a first.

Wait …no. No it wasn’t. He and his equally hot boyfriend Brad did that all the time when dancing. More layers meant more tips as they poured in every time something was taken off. So then what the f was this whole fiasco below all about?!?

Chris found himself more frustrated than ever. He was either at the cusp of figuring it out or really really horny and just not aware of its manifestation…

Well… In a stroke of luck, the whole thing blew over a few minutes later when Brad came in the room. He was already stirred up by some random exhibitionist that was live streaming and didn’t know it. Brad almost felt bad for the guy but he was just too hot to let that in.

Chris wouldn’t make the connection until catching himself on the balcony webcam grilling extra plump double jumbo hot dogs on their balcony wearing the same vintage blue Body Aware thong the following St Patrick’s Day.

You know, if it wasn’t for his deep disdain for getting pinched, Chris may have never figured it out.

The way that I know that Soap would give the best hugs imaginable

There is some deep disturbance that happens inside me when I see andrew fanart with him like super skinny

Stephen Lomas

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shoyo who just can’t stop. he never really grasped the concept of ‘too much’ when it came to you. 

shoyo who leaves you tied on his bed with a vibrator strapped to your clit. shoyo who sits there stroking his fat cock, watching you squirm and convulse at the stimulation. 

he’ll leave you there for hours, blindfold secured over your pretty eyes as he turns up the vibrator whenever he feels like it. 

it hurts so bad. all you can do is cum, and you have to take it because that’s what sho wants. he wants to see you crippled by your own pleasure. 

“feel good?” he crouches beside you on the bed, patting your hair lovingly as if your whole body isn’t twitching beneath him.

“no more, sho. can’t take it.” you moan and writhe but he looks at you and can’t help but think how silly you are. he decides right then and there, cock on hand, that he wouldn’t even dream of stopping. 

“not today, princess. maybe tomorrow?” he plays with your hair again, his occupied hand running up and down his cock slowly as he listens to your desperate pleas. 

since when did he get so condescending? 

“what? no, no, shoyo, please? i’ve had enough,” your hips buck as you round another orgasm. you swear you’ve been cumming all day. and perhaps you have, you have no other way to tell. 

he doesn’t dignify you with a response. instead, he smashes the vibe into you harder and no matter how hard you buck your hips, the pressure stays. it stays and stays and stays.  but maybe after just one more he’ll stop. right?

*everyone at the farmers market wishes to know me carnally meme voice* I'm the most eligible person in this apartment

bottom billy is very near and dear to my heart but i do need a ficlet where steve has a thing for masked men (that thing involves him wishing that they’d screw him five ways from sunday).

and so, he promptly loses his mind when someone shows up to their campus halloween party dressed as ghostface. i mean, almost drops the lukewarm beer in his hands and gawks at the guy for all of a few seconds.

because of course, they would have the absolute sluttiest take on the costume. he’d have these tight ass leather pants and a shirt that just about clings to every inch of him; stretched taut across the dips and curves of his biceps and the grooves of his chest. and the straps across his upper body would fall right between his pecs and steve would be FOAMING at the mouth.

then, like the cherry on top of a metaphorical cake, the guy pulls his mask back and it’s billy freaking hargrove.

which, steve thinks, is pretty fucked up of the universe to make happen, seeing as he has had the biggest crush on this asshole ever since their first econometrics class together last semester.

so yea, billy’s been the star of a few of steve’s wet dreams but like this, there’s no way he isn’t going back home tonight and jerking it like it’s no one’s business.

or,

maybe not.

because as if sensing eyes on him, billy’s gaze flits over to steve and the blonde gives him this long, sweeping glance from head to toe. and steve knows he looks great in his sailor costume? he’d spent forever looking for the right fit— and then, another half a century fussing over his hair and making himself look painfully kissable.

and hargrove must realize that, if the way his eyes linger on steve’s cherry-tinted lips is appraisal enough.

so yea, maybe there’s a slight possibility of steve getting laid tonight, after all.

i'm OBSESSED with ur lucemond fic i loveeee it! please please PLEASE tell me cregan and dalton will be in the list of prospects that will be courting luke. ur jealous aemond is my favorite and can imagine it so well :)

AHHH 🥰🥰 Thank you so so much for reading my fic and for the lovely ask, I'm happy you're enjoying the story <3 getting Aemond right feels like the best compliment ever AND a relief at the same time.

Jealous Aemond is sooooo fun to write, since he's obviosly half in denial about his attraction for Luke, thinks he's better than everyone else, terrible at sharing in general and too competitive to see the betrothing season as anything but a challenge he must out-smart to get what he's "owed". Perfect mix to have the guy chewing glass at the idea of Lucerys marrying some fucker.

I actually got asked the same thing on ao3, particullarly about Dalton, so I'll give you a bit of a spoiler (I guess you could call it that.)

Dalton appears and he 100% has plans to be added to the poll of suitors. His situation is particular, since they practice polygamy in the Iron Islands and marrying Lucerys would not affect his line of succession, he has saltwives for that. And there's something in particular he gains out of tying himself to Lucerys, much to Aemond's annoyance, since he has dealt with Dalton's ass before as Master of Law (since, you know...Dalton, raids, kidnapping women...the two of them have had issues before) and he knows Dalton is different from other highborns, he doesn't play by the rules, harder to deal with (impossible to get rid of, etc.)

Luke sure has a talent to be a magnet for blood-thirsty psychos. Good for him, since he's obviosly lowkey into it.

Cregan appears in the story but he cannot be one of Lucery's suitors. He's the head of House Stark at this point in time, he needs to produce heirs and so on. In this AU him and Jace have the same arrangement they initially strike in the book, where one of Cregan's eventual kids will marry one of Jace and Baela's. Lucerys has been to the North before a couple of times since Cregan and Jacaerys are such good friends, etc. So, does Cregan appear in later chapters anyway? YES lmao. Mostly to piss Aemond off, even if he has no intention to pursuit Luke, since his pressence annoys Aemond regardless (as most men who appear will annoy him). He knows well Cregan cannot marry Lucerys, but it irks him deeply that Luke behaves almost like a puppy with Cregan (old habits die hard, he always wanted to tag along with Jacaerys when he went to Winterfell when they were younger, bit of a hero complex there.)

Now if I might give you a hint, since Cregan cannot be...perhaps Martell? Dorne is quite accepting of same sex relationships after all 😏😈

CLOSE THE GYMS ‼️😟

WHERE ARE YOU PAPA, PAPA WHERE ARE YOU 😫😫😫

papa has been working in the mines (last 2 weeks of college semester) and I fear I've contracted the black lung (am so very, very eepy)