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dekusleftsock · 8 months

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Dekus no good, very bad, faceplant into masculinity and internalized homophobia

I made this a thought post from chapter 402 originally, but I can’t let these thoughts fester any longer. Gotta be correct about it 🫶🫶🫶

Alright so when I originally talked about this on a couple of platforms (not just tumblr, tiktok too and a bit on Twitter that has no connection to this account lmao) I feel like people told me that I was “stretching” with my assumptions.

But then Toga’s backstory being told to Ochako was… directly referenced to a queer allegory. And in 394, she directly says that she likes girls. It’s the thing said last, implying it’s something she’s still ashamed of feeling.

This chapter basically confirmed in my mind that Himiko’s blood quirk was the equivalent to the homophobia that was probably in her own household. And in my mind, that means that blood quirk = metaphor on her queer experience.

And then suddenly, the pieces clicked into place.

In 348, Izuku disagrees with Himiko and Ochako’s ideals—not only at the idea of girly romance, but also at unconventional romance.

Ochako has distanced herself due to Izuku’s inability to confront his own feelings. Shown both physically and metaphorically.

Ochako took all the steps to walk away because from Izuku. Because Izuku held her back.

Or more rather, she realized that Izuku was no allmight, but rather just an average boy in need of saving as anyone else. He is someone who’s flaws cannot align with Ochako’s own ideals for a relationship.

Because ochako is weird.

Izuku holds her back. She can’t be everything she needs to be while around him.

And that’s something Izuku’s not going to understand, not like how she needs him to understand.

And Himiko knows who Ochako is on a more fundamental level than Izuku ever will, and that’s okay.

I feel like whenever I talk about these character flaws having to do with Izuku, it almost sounds like I’m bashing him? I swear, I’m not, it makes complete sense as to why he is this way. And there are people (Katsuki) in the world who can have this in a relationship under the right communication, and some people can’t. And that’s just how we exist. That’s okay. We don’t all have to be compatible with everyone.

Back to the main point, the pieces and the people putting those pieces together were starting to see their parallels.

Even the manga placement parallels them, especially with how clever I feel horikoshi can be with his paneling.

Looking down, looking up. Both three quarter angles. Small mouth expression, big mouth expression. And that blush.

Fake smile when unhappy. Falling for someone who is dying, who you’d do anything for, even toe the line of death defending them, fixing them—just because you can’t help but love someone you wish had walked into your life sooner (or in Izuku’s case, accepted into your life sooner).

Someone you’d sacrifice for. Someone you’re violent for. Someone you’d kill for.

Someone you’d rather let an entire population of people die for than live without.

Someone you’re undeniably, unequivocally, selfish for.

And yet Izuku doesn’t recognize his same symptoms of love through Himiko Toga as Ochako does.

Himiko must be dehumanized to Izuku, because if she’s a person, then she is him.

(What’s even more interesting about this panel, is that if the characters were reversed and it was about Izuku’s violent feelings over protecting Katsuki, danger sense would be going off constantly. So toga is the perfect counter, but Izuku is the ultimate weakness.)

So, okay, how exactly do these things matter? How does this have to do with Izuku’s own personal struggle over his masculinity?

I think what’s important to clarify here is that when I say “internalized homophobia”, I don’t mean that he necessarily is beating himself up over the fact that he likes a boy instead of a girl.

I think it’s connected to his fear of rejection, and his own personal issues having to do with remaining a “strong man” instead of a “weak man”.

Izuku may not believe that liking men is anyone’s business but his own, but does Katsuki think that?

Izuku has called his feelings of admiration gross. Not that he himself is an awful person for feeling them, but that Katsuki will be the one to think they’re gross. And he’s worked so hard to get to this point in their relationship, he doesn’t wanna let it go over some stupid feelings.

And this is where toga comes into the picture, his parallels between her, because just how is Toga supposed to know that Ochako isn’t judging her for her feelings? Technically, all of the things she’s said before the final fight between them have only proved the inevitable. That Toga is gross, a freak, a predator, a danger, because she loves a woman.

How is Izuku supposed to interpret being called a stalker by Katsuki? How is he supposed to interpret when people call him creepy for his muttering and analyzation? How is he supposed to interpret being called a crybaby by his idol, Katsuki, and everyone else when he cannot control that?

How can he handle feelings that are out of his control, and still believe that they’re okay?

And at the very least, even if homophobia doesn’t exist in mha, heteronormativity does. Especially shown through Ashido, a straight girl.

None of that is necessarily Allmight, Katsuki, or even Ochako’s fault, because of course they’re just teasing him—but it doesn’t change the fact that it affects how he perceives himself.

So when I say that Izuku has problems with internalized homophobia, I mean that he is afraid of how the people around him will perceive him, than a constant feeling of self hatred due to not liking women.

And when I say that his internalized homophobia is an extension of his masculinity, I mean that because he has no confidence in himself and his more vulnerable emotions, he is unable to accept what or who he is. This ofc affects the people around him, like saying that Ochako CANT be weird because she’s just “so amazingly normal” without realizing that he’s just downplaying who she is and what she thinks, or dehumanizing the most openly queer character in the series because it benefits the perception he has of himself, or even silently rejecting Katsuki’s feelings simply out of a need to “control his heart and control his quirk”.

In Izuku’s mind, the only way to keep Katsuki is to not be the weird kid he was in his childhood. In a way, Izuku is still performing for Katsuki.

#so. hello.#ME ACTUALLY POSTING AN NOT REBLOGGING ADVENTURE TIME??? not as rare as you think..#I really should’ve wrote this more focused on allmight #bc that’s where a majority of the MASCULINITY ISSUES come from #but I’ve missed talking about them a lot okay y’all #bkdk #togachako #midoriya izuku #mha deku #bkdk brainrot #bakudeku #bakugou katsuki #bnha deku #mha analysis #deku midoriya

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kyra45 · 3 months

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Yeah I'm jerk if you're going to be a jerk. I call scammers beggars because that's basically what they do in my opinion. You've been asked nicely for help and you got very defensive and offended that they didn't research them. That person looked up to you by the way, was trying to help catching scammers since we have to deal with them on a regular basis on many platforms and in reality. Wanted your opinion but once again she lost trust to people and thinks that she did something wrong. Well have fun on Tumblr guys and I hope that you stop as many scammers as you can

Funny how your mood changed real quick after calling me sketchy. Scammers aren’t beggars, you wasn’t calling them beggars. You was saying everyone asking for help is a beggar:

“And no I'm not reading blogs of every single beggar out there.”

Secondly, I was offended that you didn’t look at the OP of the post you likely saw to figure out was my own account which only posts verified charities and you, as quoted, asked me if i was butthurt:

“Damn you seem really butt hurt don't you? “

Lastly, you asked me to check if someone was a scammer and I told you, very simply:

“Anon did you even try to contact the person before asking me or did you see them share the post from my own blog. Because I only got this ask when someone shared their reblog from my other account and I personally feel like your just assuming it’s a scammer right off the bat without bothering to look at the account the GoFundMe is posted from. Otherwise I’ve verified it’s a legitimate account. But you could have just asked them. Nicely.”

And your response to that was, as quoted:

“Do you expect me to nicely ask a potential scammer if they're scammer? The answer is obvious.”

And

“I will only trust someone by approving that the person they claim to be really exist, maybe through social media or other ways that can officially confirm them.”

Implying that you could have actually looked up the information yourself but you opted to ask me instead of asking the person who would have been able to tell you what you wanted to know better than I would have been able to elaborate.

Also:

“Your "instructions on how to spot a scammer" show some basic schemes which every dumbass can copy and paste. They do much more than that. Although most of them just like you get angry easily when confronted :D”

Scammers don’t change their tactics all that often and basic isn’t bad it just makes it easier to understand and I am not claiming I’m the best as making guides. I know what scammers do. Also you wasn’t confronting me. You just called by behavior sketchy just because I was annoyed. There’s a difference between a scammer being sketchy when confronted and someone being annoyed when people don’t do a simple task.

I wasn’t being a jerk. I called you one for how you was acting. The rudeness of saying ‘dumbasses’ can do this and that people who ask for mutual aid are all ‘beggar scammers’.

Scam busters are trying their best but it’s difficult when people don’t want to do their own stuff before asking someone else. If you had done what I said you would have know the account was legitimate but instead this mess happened.

It’s a shame you call yourself a scam buster and this is how you’re treating me. Just because you didn’t like my reply.

Also my fanbase? Going after you? Do you think I just sick my followers on anyone who pisses me off. No, I don’t. I specifically tell people don’t harass anyone I mention here and make it clear that anyone who does so are doing it themselves.

#kyra45 speaks #answer

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meimi-haneoka · 18 days

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heya cinzia! hope you're having a lovely day. i'm sorry i'm always bothering you with questions 😅 but do you know if there are any forums or communities for ccs fans other than tumblr? i've been a fan for so long but always too intimidated to make ccs friends ;;

Hiiii Doublechocolate!!

I'm quite fine, I'm recovering from a nasty cold! 😅I hope you're having a lovely day too!

You're not bothering me at all 😁 Truth to be told, I probably am not the best person to answer to this question because I've quitted several CCS communities long time ago. They were all becoming full of bullshit, so to speak, and you perfectly know what I'm talking about. I became tired to waste my words and effort in places where there are so many people, each one with their biased ideas and prejudices and in many cases completely unwilling to spare a bit more effort to understand a story, so quick to label it as "boring" or "not making sense".

The only community I still am present in (but I rarely write in anymore) is the Tomoeda server on Discord: the admin is a dear friend and she and her collaborators are managing the community in a healthy way, so I still feel comfortable being there. I've been able to talk about Kaito and Akiho (up to a certain extent....) without any problem and for me this became basically a decisive factor in choosing any place/community where I can talk about CCS with other people. Truth to be told, the community is a bit "dead" now that the manga is over and there isn't a monthly chapter keeping things exciting every month, but we're all expecting the 2nd season of the anime to hopefully revive things. The link to join is here: https://discord.gg/CFgHGFS .

Nowadays I prefer staying on my personal accounts on Twitter/Tumblr/Bluesky. If people are interested in what I say and find some worth in my posts, they will come to me and start an interaction on their own. I'm frankly at this point very very very wary about seeking interaction first, in this fandom. It happens only with people I can see are manifestly Kaito/Akiho fans. I can't even trust my fellow SyaoSaku shippers anymore, because despite the characters, that's not a guarantee that they'll be accepting of my own views and favorite parts of the story at all. I've learned the hard way that just because someone loves a series or their characters doesn't give a shred of guarantee that person will be sharing the series' same wholesome views and messages.

#reply

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columboscreens · 2 years

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Been loving the Twitter account and realized I'd love the Tumblr too.

Anyway, I've always wondered something... my mom and I began to realize that maybe one of the reasons classic Columbo's formula made such a splash and continues to be unique is that he's basically presented as the story's "villain".

Not in a "he was the real killer" kind of way, I mean structure-wise for most episodes the killer is the main character with the majority of screen time. It occurred to us that all the best episodes really seem to present the murderer as the protagonist, with us seeing them plan and carry out their scheme, even sometimes be privy to their inner thoughts. Then after they've done their killing, this... monster starts stalking them. It seemed to us the best episodes were the ones where WE are put in the killer's shoes the most, and maybe the character and show formula has endured so well because its thrill feels so similar to watching your favorite movie monster pursue dumb teenagers in a haunted house.

We noticed it kinda felt like it had that same weirdly sadistic glee. Like sure the movie might be "about" the campers or family or whatever, but the monster creeping around "getting" everyone is who you really came to see.

I wondered if anyone else had felt this fun "relentless antagonist" vibe from Columbo? Maybe the formula continues to feel unique even today because it isn't set up quite like a detective show. It's a rich arrogant murderer show, we just can't wait for our favorite monster to show up and chase them (with insidious, relentless politeness).

thank you!

not to needlessly intellectualize my own favorite show (i say, maintaining this blog), but there's a real sophistication to columbo, a literary quality that i think appeals to people. though the production appears facile at first, those choices in formula and perspective you mention are indeed very deliberate and part of what made columbo so fresh and special both when it aired and today. it was a very novel approach to the mystery format to have us start off with the murderer and maybe even root for them sometimes against columbo. as i always say, the show evokes dostoyevsky and doyle, not bruckheimer; it's born from old-fashioned drawing room murder mysteries, not CSI.

the mysteries are usually sharp--between columbo and murder she wrote alone, levinson and link were two of the most prolific mysterysmiths of the 20th century. but ultimately, for both the viewer and for columbo, it's all about the chase, the game, the banter. it's about a mangy little guy tussling with someone with more dollars than he has hairs on his body, and winning to boot. the legwork is important, but it does ultimately come second.

steven moffat got torn to shreds for calling columbo a sadist, but he was absolutely right and needn't have apologized. if you get up in arms about that, do you really understand columbo?

the man is a benevolent sadist. that's why he appears borderline villainous. he is a sadist with a level head and good moral compass, but still a sadist. he goes well out of his way to fuck over people who deserve to get fucked over, and he clearly enjoys every minute of it. it's how he's able to remain so relentless without getting burned out. is that so wrong?

just look at the smirk on this man's face. you cannot deny that.

like a fine wine, his power grows with time...

peter falk himself often likened being chased by columbo to "getting nibbled to death by a duck". nobody can stand there and tell me ducks aren't the cutest and also pettiest most sadistic little bastards in the animal kingdom...

sir!!!! SIR!!!!! i don't mean to bother you, i've just got this one little thing on my mind, i thought maybe you could help me...

#quek #columbo #ask #text #longpost

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leanbeefpattysimp3 · 1 year

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Hello to all of the baki fandom on here! I’m @leanbeefpattysimp3 but you can call me Bug instead. I’m not new to the fandom nor Tumblr (majority of us had that cringe middle school emo phase and found this app💀) but I’m new to the fandom on here so this will be fun learning about! Which brings me to why I made this account, so I’ve been putting together this Baki oc and the story for about a few months and I wanted to share it! Everyone meet my oc, the adopted daughter of Doppo Orochi, Solomon Orochi!

Here’s the description and background of this feral mf.

Description

19 years old

6’2 (long legged spider mf, Katsumi still argues he’s taller when he’s really not)

265 lbs (this bitch packed with muscle, beefy fr)

Caucasian Decent, half American and half Ossetian (we’ve got another cracker besides Eminem Hanma)

Brown hair but has dyed blonde streaks in it(her hair changes overtime cause I can’t make up my mind on how I want the blonde)

Quite the firecracker for someone of her background and stature, you normally don’t see a big person get the zoomies like a smaller one, a huge ass gremlin if you will. She’s the kind who will make people uncomfortable in public on purpose (not in a bad way more like Impractical Jokers).

She’s definitely her father’s child, if she’s fighting she’s gonna keep fighting till either her opponent is no longer able to fight back or she flat out dies. Which does make Doppo nervous, even if she is a fighter, that’s his little girl.

She has multiple surgery scars, 3 most prominent on her knees and abdomen, she had to get her kneecaps fixed due to them shattering during one of her MMA fights, and had to have emergency surgery on her intestine because it ruptured during that same fight, however the mf still won cause “Momma didn’t raise no bitch”.

Background

Solomon was adopted by Doppo and Natsue when she was 2 months old, Doppo was friends with an American heavyweight martial arts champion and his Ossetian wife who had moved to Japan, however that would come to a short end when the wife went crazy and killed the husband and herself, leaving behind Solomon, who Doppo and Natsue decided to take in and call their own. 3 years later they adopted Katsumi, and from then on the two became inseparable, one always going wherever the other one went, doctor’s appointments, school trips, everywhere and anywhere they always wanted to go together.

When Doppo starts teaching Katsumi Shinshinkai Karate, he decides to start teaching Solomon as well cause “Hell why not?”. To his surprise she catches on more quickly than Katsumi, and is even kicking Katsumi’s ass when they spar (which Natsue doesn’t know how to feel about cause her kids are kicking each other’s asses and her husband is laughing at it). Solomon went to school with Hanayama, and the two started talking, and eventually dating. Katsumi and Solomon get older, stronger of course, and by the time Katsumi is 18 and Solomon is 16, they’re basically pros. However, Sol was to learn more than just Shinshinkai Karate, and asks her father if she can travel to her biological parents motherland, America(🦅distant eagle screech) and learn MMA style fighting , which he thought about for awhile, his little girl traveling thousands of miles away from home without him and the rest of the family, but ultimately decides that with how amazing her fighting and strength has gotten, it would be great for her fighting abilities. Solomon tells Hanayama that she’s about to leave for a few years, so they ultimately decide to break up, knowing things wouldn’t work if she’s thousands of miles away (at this time they’re 16, still quite young).

Solomon gets sent off to America, but before then her father gets in contact with the best of the best MMA fighters and trainers so she can get the best training. She’s expecting to go to one of the cool fancy states like California or New York, however Doppo thought it would be funny to send her to Texas of all places from the things he’s heard about from there. So here she is, a person of Caucasian descent who doesn’t know a lick of English besides introducing herself and the word “Chicken” (she saw it on an ad back home about food) which everyone who she became friends with or taught her thought was quite funny, a white girl who never learned much English. She did eventually learn it “fluently” during her stay, however she spoke it with quite the interesting accent since everyone who taught her had southern accents ( I just want you to try to imagine a Japanese accent that has southern twang to it, it’s quite funny)

She ended up staying and training for 3 years and was given the title “World’s Strongest Woman” at just 18 year old after she had become the heavyweight MMA champion in America and scoring 2100lbs in the 2000lbs club for the International Powerlifting Federation. She was one of the most powerful fighters in America until she got a call from her mother saying her father had almost died from a fight with a man named Yuujiro Hanma (dirty nasty crusty man-thing), and which terrified her more than anything, immediately after the call she wanted to go back home to her family and immediately started packing. She ends up coming back in time for the Maximum Tournament, but not in time to compete in it. Even with being upset she can’t compete, she does get excited about watching two specific fighters during the matchups, Jack Hanma and Kaioh Retsu.

So since we’ve gotten to this point I’ll start writing the main story on her and such, if you’d like you can also request types of stories on her and head-cannons and if y’all want to can ask for different ships, and whoever wants to can use her in other Baki stories n such, just make sure to credit me for her! I’ll also post more artwork I’ve made of her and y’all can request artwork as well!

#baki the grappler #Baki #baki headcanons #baki son of ogre #doppo orochi #katsumi orochi #kaoru hanayama #baki hanma #jack hanma #kureha shinogi #kosho shinogi #retsu kaioh #gaia baki #sikorsky #Doyle

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kirame90 · 1 year

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I just wanted to let you know that I genuinely, so very much, loved your comic from beginning to end. It made me laugh, and tugged at my heart strings. I've been reading it as you released chapters weekly since near the beginning, but didn't get around to confidently using my new Tumblr account till you were basically near the end of the story. Regardless of that, I still wanted to follow you, even though it's over now, and express my love for this beautiful piece of art you put so much time and love into, that definitely inspired me at times.

I did want to ask if it was possible at all, that fans of this story could see a potential physical comicbook of this story being sold in the future? Though, I get that kinda project would likely require money, time, and material that you may not have, I was just curious if it's something you've thought about doing?

My final question is, if we will ever see anything more from the chaotic boyfriends, seeing as you've finished the main couple's story? Though I also get you likely don't have the time anymore because of your dream job, or may not have had anything else planned for them. I was just curious, and also loved the shenanigans of the chaotic boyfriends, but felt they had a little more that was worth exploring after they got tricked into confessing to eachother (or at least BLU Sniper was tricked).

I wanna finish this out with another thank you for all your effort to bring this wonderful story, and charming goofy characters to life these last 3+ years! I'm both so happy and a lil' sad to see it finally end, and will miss eagerly waiting every Wednesday for a new chapter. I hope you have a wonderful day!!!

❤️💙

HNNNNNNNGGGGHHHHH thank you so incredibly much for your feedback and sorry for the late reply!! Q^Q

Thank you for reading as well as letting me know how my little story touched you. It's amazing to hear others have been enjoying their journey with my babies along the years <3

We are actually working on the physical copy of the comic with my best friend. She's being amazing and doing basically all the work on her own. I started a new passion project for Patreon (since it's going to be NSFW all the way I can't put it anywhere near Tumblr -_-) so my free time is - again - extremely limited.

The physical copy will include J's face in the end and all the NSFW bonuses, so it's DEFINITELY not for kids ;)

Aaahhhhh the Chaotic Boyfriends. I do love them to death and I can promise you they're living their best life after leaving Mann Co.

For whatever reason, I can’t see those two getting married. Even if they stuck together after their contracts end, I see them in a comfortable companionship rather than being officially married.

They would probably see marriage as cringe-worthy arrangement after making fun of SniperSpy for their union. I like to picture these two just travelling the world together, going on missions and enjoying wild life; practically being a married couple without the marriage part.

And having monthly swinger parties with SniperSpy ;)

But yeah, thank you again for your feedback, it truly warms my heart to hear people's thoughts about the comic as well as the characters. If we'll get to finish the physical comic project I will let everyone know immediately. I'm not expecting it to be a huge success nor am I looking to benefit from it. If we'll ever get to sell physical copies all the profits will go to charity, as they have this far.

Please take care and have a happy Pride Month! ^^

#woot woot an ask!#:D #k90 #sniperspy #spycest #tf2 #tf2 spy

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simplyaskfellowplural · 7 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/simplyaskfellowplural/734648532346208256/simply-plural-app-guide-1?source=share

hi! Could you give me examples of using costume fronts?

like what you’d use? Because I’m at a loss and I’d love to have help!

🌞/🌑 Typing... (She/Her)

Hello! Thanks for the Question! This is relating to our most recent guide on explaining Custom Fronts and Member Profiles! This can be found here!

So! We do have some basic ideas! But it mainly boils down to what your system might need! Here are some basics to think about!:

What does your system struggle with? Would you benefit from tracking certain things? (Helps to answer especially with amnesia between headmates, or even just a smooth brain system wide)

What would be interesting to track often? If you like seeing the data in Analytics, seeing what time of day, how often you do something, would that be cool to see? Would it help?

Keep in mind stressors with how many custom fronts you can manage. Can you easily manage 20+ custom fronts without needing to reorganize? Can you barely handle 5? Find your safe spot!

Do you want to make your own icons? Do you want to primarily use the custom status for the fronts to figure out what happened? Do you want to use emojis to signal more easily what's happening? (An example would be a "Out and About" Custom Front, within the description, you have the biking emoji, Walking emoji, dog emoji, air emoji, all of these signal "I'm walking the dog"/"I'm going on a bike ride", and so on!)

Do you benefit from letting others know what's up? If you're doing something specific is it helpful for your system only? Or maybe it could be a fun status to help other people who you might have invited to look at your account. Like a Sleeping Custom Front, or a Busy custom front.

What privacy settings are important? With it being limited right at this moment, what's extremely important? Do you need to separate some custom fronts into two different ones so they display different information depending on who's allowed to see it? Do you not care who sees it? Is no one allowed to see it?

What is important to those in your system?

There are a lot of cool things you can try! And definitely don't stress yourself out! Here are important reminders we tell ourselves if we need to reorganize:

We use certain custom fronts for certain reasons, get to the root of why it's important, and reevaluate it's importance and if you can keep it, scrap it, or turn it into something new.

What do we need to think about with our data? What do we need it to do for us? Do we want the comfort of pressing a button and that gives us the confidence to actually commit? Is it the validation that others see our front update? Or is it literally just something we want to do?

We need to make sure it's accessible for us to use, and for others to know what it's there for if we let people see it.

All of these questions have continuously helped us center ourselves. We definitely love using custom fronts for ourselves and they help dramatically.

Now! For inspiration we personally can share these custom fronts:

Sleeping, Waking Up, Fronting Notes, Social boundaries (All separated by Please interact to Do not Disturb), Memory Loss, Dissociation, Derealization

Everyone in front (so you don't have to tediously add every single person into front, helps for bigger systems like us!)

No one in front

Little(s) in front (helps if you don't allow your littles to be seen but it's important people at least are aware)

Member Forming (helps track when members formed!)

That's the custom fronts we are comfortable sharing! And if you want more inspiration or ideas, here's a link to an Imgur group of screenshots from another system that helpfully compiled their custom fronts for ideas! There are also Custom Emojis you can easily download and use for custom front and even member profile images! Simply Searching up blackholeemojis (not tagging as we're unsure if they don't like being tagged) on Tumblr can help you get started looking into Custom Emojis!

For other Questions / Advice check out our List!

#Question Ask #Simply Plural #Custom Fronts #ideas #🌞/🌑 answers

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butchladymaria · 11 months

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11, 12, and 16 for the violence asks!! I need to know

OG POST HERE!!!

11. number of fandom-related words you’ve filtered

actually all 36 terms i have filtered are fandom-related lmao. honestly i use the filtering system as a way to clean up my dash. i sometimes filter a tag if someone i follow gets into a new thing that i’m ambivalent about or unfamiliar with. it means i can keep following them without seeing stuff i’m just not all that interested in yet but also (and especially) to avoid having something spoiled for me if i want to check it out in future! it also means that i can click the “show” button if i’m in the mood for something specific or want to learn more about it — go to their blog and just look for anything filtered :) this is literally the only way i know of to search a tumblr account for specific shit because the actual search function is Actually Useless Shit

16. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

man there’s so many picks here but i’d have to say annalise. she’s not unpopular as in actively disliked afaik, just more generally overlooked. i need to post more about her but like — she’s such a key piece of bloodborne’s themes around gender and motherhood and its a goddamn shame it doesn’t get talked about more!!! she feels like a foil to miss doll in many ways (editor’s note: i Went Off on this but it needs to be its own post, so rest assured i will elaborate lol). she’s such a goddamn tragic character. in so many ways it feels that she retreated into the role of the queen to cope with the loss of her people: there’s nothing left of her home besides that. she calls herself “we”, not “i”. she is the queen of cainhurst before she is a human being and it feels like a very visceral reaction to the bigotry of the church. she is trapped in the throne room in a nightgown — evidenced the fact that her portraits show her wearing period-typical gowns, and the attire she wears looks like historical sleepwear. it makes me fucking insane. she was wearing her nightgown when the executioners attacked. despite seeing everyone she ever knew and loved be butchered before her eyes, despite being reviled as a corrupted subhuman monstrosity, despite being imprisoned in complete solitude for god only knows how long, she still fucking demands your respect and i love her for it. she is canonically some flavor of queer on account of the fact she rejects your marriage proposal in an identical way regardless of gender. i am able to fulfill my fantasy of a beautiful vampire woman bossing me around thru her questline. what is not to fucking like!!!!

17. you can’t understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc.)

hands down probably the defanging of the women characters: chiefly maria, miss doll, and adella/arianna. like, i know WHY it happens (misogyny) but it’s still baffling to me. why are you making them waifus. follow up question is your taste honest to god just that boring, and if so get better soon. they’re so much cooler than that. shut the fuck up. maria is such a complex character and if i see another clown reducing her to some soft maternal wifey because… what, she was compassionate to the research hall patients and felt bad about doing uhhh *checks notes* A Whole Ass Genocide???? i will staple myself to the ceiling. like some folks will do the most absurd mental gymnastics to call a woman in any media maternal for the most basic things 😭. in a similar vein are the people who shit themselves to death trying to claim that she TOTALLY COULD HAVE BEEN a femmey little uwu housewife even though she has a canonical and marked preference for masc presentation, and actually a woman conforming to victorian gender roles and being attracted to men is an EPIC FEMINIST WIN, actually. usually this comes from cis and/or hets who are convinced they are personally oppressed because like 3 queers on tumblr said maria is a butch lesbian. having said that there are so many amazing artists and theorycrafters that when i was trying to link specific posts/art the list was actually a million years long. some people are annoying but MORE people are so cool and thoughtful and creative!!!!! shoutout to nishihii saintadeline butchjolyne and pretty much all the lgbtqs in the mariadeline tag, all of your work is like oxygen to me 💕 yall are amazing :)

it’s the same with miss doll. either their complexity is painted over by making her the butt of those insufferable sex doll jokes or they’re made out to be this pure innocent mommy/housewife. usually this is hand in hand with just blatantly ignoring the misogyny inherent to the dynamic between her, maria, and gerhman and i just have to wonder how anyone manages to so spectacularly miss the point. i wrote a forty page paper on this. needless to say it makes me insane. i’m also a big fan of YOUR theories on the matter for a different yet equally neat perspective :) also i think marble did a post on it but i cannot for my LIFE find it

also i cannot stress enough how lame it is that adella gets reduced to a flat stereotype. they took a violently traumatized woman who was groomed into loathing herself by the catholic blood cult and who desperately clings onto the hunter for showing her justo the most basic decency of not Leaving Her To Die and decided instead of any of that it would be way cooler to water her down into a “yandere”. same can be said for arianna. like istg if they were men ther would be ESSAYS. but then again if they were men their themes would literally not even be half as cool AND they couldn’t be lesbians so i am writing the essays myself. tl;dr i am absolutely OBSESSED with both @/jurasicass and @/undefeatablesin’s portrayals of both these ladies. finally some good fucking adella/hunter/arianna dynamics‼️‼️‼️

#ask #bornetoblood #lady maria #queen annalise #adella the nun #miss doll #arianna lady of pleasure #i forget my tag for her.#bloodborne #these asks r geared towards the inner little hater but i must be a lover in equal measure. there r so many cool people here #that i couldnt make a complete list if i TRIED #to be clear i think the adella yandere jokes r funny but its obnoxious when thats ALL she is to some ppl ykwim

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sparxaf · 6 months

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7, 10, and 13!

7. What OC (yours or someone else's) can't you get enough of?

These are really hard. For my own work, I'm gonna say Maitland in TSIME. She's a side character and one of Bobby's best friends. She's unpretty, she's grumpy, she has no time for feelings, but underneath her crusty exterior is a person who loves HARD. I just adore her. I also have a great love of Siobhan in TSIME. For other people's OC's, that's tough. There are so many I could list. But I think I'm gonna go with Sadie from The Greatest of Them All. She's sweet, strong, smart, and batshit crazy and I love her. The Scorpio rising in me honors the Scorpio that must live in her. Because she is SPITEFUL. I could read many more stories about her life with Bobby.

10. What's a theory/headcanon that you would die on the hill of?

Hmmm. Sam just reminded me that I basically wrote an essay on why my favorite fuckboy Levi cheats. It's a whole long build up I won't post here, but basically Levi feels his only worth is in WINNING. In being perfect. And he's desperate to feel like he can be loved even if he fucks up. Which is why he cheated and then immediately flew home and told Luci. And Luci of course, dumped him without hearing him out (as is her right) but to him proved that yet again, he isn't allowed to fuck up. Which is why, after Cherry-gate, if you give him another chance, he becomes THE UBER BOYFRIEND. He's the fucking best. Because you gave him space to fuck everything up, but you still cared about him. You stuck around and now, he'll fucking die for you.

13. What's your favourite moment during your time in the fandom?

It happened a long time ago, but back when my first exposure to the fandom was Twitter, there was a lot of weird shit happening. Long before the Tumblr accounts, there were S2 characters tweeting. And there were two Bobby accounts. I was in a Bobby stan Twitter GC and one of the Bobby accounts joined the chat. Everyone went bonkers and we all just sort of roleplayed that Bobby was our group boyfriend. It was extremely weird 😂 But then one day, THE OTHER BOBBY JOINED. LE GASP. And the two Bobbys fought for our hearts. Sides were chosen, accusations were hurled, and in the end, one Bobby was CAST OUT of our love nest. To this day I can't see the Spiderman gif where the two point at each other without thinking of the Battle of the Bobbys.

Also, side note, afterward, I found out that it was the same person running both Bobby accounts, so she was fighting with herself and somehow, that made it even weirder and funnier to me. She told me she got bored so she spiced it up 🤣🤣🤣.

Thank you for the ask, @longbobmckenzie!

#ask game #litg positivity #sparx answers asks #love island the game #litg fanfic writer #fandom elder

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floralcrematorium · 4 months

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1, 10, aaand 4 :3

Thanks for the ask!!! I uh. Go on a big ramble so I'm throwing everything under the cut!

Do you relate to your favorite character(s)?

Yes and no.

My fondness for China and Norway isn't one based on their characters because I haven't fleshed them out (yet) in my head. I have no idea how to write for either of them! I genuinely would love to spend a day cooking, painting, or just talking with Yao. I yearn for platonic companionship and Yao isn't chaotic and we share similar interests. Our aesthetic interests are very different, but oh well!

I don't know what Lukas has to offer tbh, he's entirely eye candy to me (sobbing).

My fondness for France and Ukraine has to do with self imposed headcanons.

My Francis is honestly probably ooc -- but I don't care. I have taken these guys and run away with them. A lot of my Hetalia writing is Human AU because I have a hard time connecting with immortal creatures as someone who cannot see what even the next year of their own life looks like. I guess what Francis and I share is a fondness for food and art (like with Yao), but those aren't activities I would want to do with Francis. We can both be dramatic, I will over-dress just to go out with a friend, and we're both a bit pathetic. While my Francis isn't like early canon France (you know what I mean...), he's still a romantic. I am not.

I don't think it's a necessarily rare headcanon, but I see Miss Ukraine as fat. She's plus size to me and that's something we share. I've been wanting to write a Kateryna centric oneshot about the difficulties and mental struggles that come with shopping as a fat person, but I haven't been in a reading/writing mindset recently and this topic would be a bit taxing on me. One day, though!! I'm still formulating my characterization of her... CanUkr oneshot is STILL in development hell.

TLDR: Yes because I impose bits of myself onto Francis and Kateryna for RP and writing purposes and also for comfort. No because a good handful of my favorites (including some not named) are just little guys I'd like to put in a shoebox and shake around.

10. How long have you been in the fandom? What's your lore?

In 7th grade a friend told me I might like Hetalia because I liked geography and history was my strongest subject in school. I cannot remember when exactly I checked it out, but I definitely was into by Spring 2014. I literally have emails from back then of memes we exchanged...

My best friend and I met online at the end of that school year and we actually started talking because he played this video over skype screen share. Fast forward to the summer and I'm drawing, writing fic, and we made our Hetalia Instagram account. There were three of us. It was essentially just a repost account because we were all in middle school. I never really interacted with others from the fandom other than the two friends I ran the account with, both of whom I still talk to <3

Our instagram account died off sometime around 2018. We deleted it around 2020-2021.

I came back to Hetalia by a freak accident. I was going through my old google drive and rediscovered the three-way-POV fic my friends and I wrote and immediately ran into our group chat. It was a bad fic. Basically Hetalia in the setting of Outlast meets FNAF vibes. Yes, it was a Wattpad fic... (now deleted). We made the joke of rewriting it, but that thought only lasted for one night. Then out of curiosity I got back into listening to the official character songs, and that's what did it for me... (shoutout to "Aiyah, 4,000 Years," "Mein Gott," "Overflowing Passion," "Maji Kandou ☆ Hong Kong Night," and the Hetaloid song "Brother Complex").

Got back into reading fic. Somehow I went through my original stint in the fandom without reading "Gutters" and that's what pulled me back into fanfic. Made an A03. Eventually figured, why the hell not, and made a Hetalia Tumblr so I could stop using my personal account.

I did have that hiatus, but I guess I could say I've been into Hetalia for 10 years now, which is nuts. I definitely had a period of regret and revulsion from 2019-2022, but still kept up with "oh, they made a new season" or revisiting some old art.

4. What's a headcanon you need to work out?

A lot of my headcanons have to do with Human AU FACE fam because I use them to cope with things, but I guess something that's been on my mind lately is the Tudor dynasty. My senior thesis, far before I got back into Hetalia, was actually supposed to be about the Tudors, but I abandoned it for something else. I recently got a book about the entire dynasty for my birthday and have yet to take a peek at it. I would love to write a fic where France or Marianne visits England over several Christmases to explore the relationship of Arthur/Francis or Alice/Marianne as England & France's relationship changes through the changing of the monarchs and especially as Henry VIII cycles through wives like calendars. I have to do research about it, though. I need to see how realistic it would be considering the on-again-off-again relationship between England and France (1520 The Field Of The Cloth Of Gold meeting vs Henry wanting to prove his military strength and trying to invade France). Funnily enough, I know almost nothing about France in the 15th and 16th centuries outside of :

1. Mary Tudor's [Henry VIII's sister, not his daughter, Mary I] brief stint as Queen Consort of France & Anne Boleyn's subsequent time at the French court as a lady in waiting to Mary

2. how Henry VIII repeatedly used war against France as an attempt to prove his strength [eyeroll]

To be honest, that fic is entirely an excuse to explore the different influence each of Henry's queens has over the court through various means. I don't think anyone else would really be interested though, so it may be something I keep to myself.

Hetalia Ask Game

#floralcrematorium ask box

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true-blue-sonic · 5 months

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Based on the Nen personality test which of the following categories would Silver, Gold and Espio fall under?

Enhancers are simple and determined. Most of them never lie, hide nothing, and are very straightforward in their actions or in their thinking. Their words and actions are often dominated by their feelings. They are generally very selfish and focused on their goals. This is reflected in their Nen as Enhancers typically rely on simple and uncomplicated Nen abilities.

Transmuters are whimsical, prone to deceit, and fickle. They have unique characteristics; many are regarded as weirdos or tricksters. They often put forth a facade while hiding the truer aspects of their personalities. Even when they don't hide their personalities, they rarely reveal their true intentions. Many Transmuters rely on techniques that give unique and unpredictable properties to their Nen that reflect their personalities.

Emitters are impatient, not detail-oriented, short-tempered, and quick to react volatilely. They resemble Enhancers in their impulsivity, but the difference between them is that Emitters tend to calm down and forget more easily.

Conjurers are typically high-strung or overly serious, stoic, and nervous. They are often on guard as to be cautious. They are very observant and logical, rarely falling into traps. Being able to analyze things calmly is the strength of Conjurers. Many of the items that Conjurers create are often used by them deliberately, practically, and logically.

Manipulators are argumentative and logical. They advance at their own pace and tend to want to keep their families and loved ones safe. On the other hand, when it comes to pursuing their own goals, they do not listen to what others might have to say about it.

Specialists are independent and charismatic. They won't say anything important about themselves and will refrain from making close friends. However, because of their natural charisma that attracts others, they are always surrounded by many people.

I've never heard of this test before, but the options are very interesting! Let's see here...

I can see Silver fall mostly under enhancer , with a dash of transmuter and emitter alongside some aspects of manipulator:

Enhancer because Silver can have a black-and-white mindset wherein he is incredibly honest about his goals (which makes people not always believe him if his statements are incredulous). He also doesn't lie, and he is quite straightforward in his doing and thinking. However, Silver is not at all a selfish person, because basically everything he does is centered around ensuring the happiness of a whole era. It's just that his means to get there are blunt and do not take into account others that he deems to be in his way much.

Transmuter because it makes me think of his powers, and the very strong ways in which he can apply them. He might also have a bit of whimsy, considering his adoration for beautiful views, blue skies, and world happiness. But I don't think Silver is adept at putting on a facade, or ever hides his true intentions much.

Emitter because Silver has a short temper on him and he indeed can react strongly to perceived slights. Though, I wouldn't say that he 'calms down and forgets more easily': he just immediately moves back again to his mission at hand, without talking through what actually happened. And I could make a case he can notice small, insignificant details, as seen with him discovering Eggman Nega masquerading as "Eggman" in Rivals 1.

And lastly, manipulator because Silver wants to keep the world of his future and its inhabitants safe. And he definitely doesn't listen to the opinions of others on what he is doing, haha!

For Gold and Espio, I must admit I find it a lot harder to say. But I think Gold best falls only under conjurer: she's definitely high-strung and nervous a lot, and there's not a lot of silliness attached to her character, at least not as seen in the comics. Evan's notes about her here on Tumblr also describe her as a person adept at keeping her head down so she does not get caught. I think traits like observant, logical and practical would fit her as well. But none of the others above really scream Gold to me, to be quite honest.

And Espio... hmm. His Classic version was noted to have a temper on him (where Charmy apparently had to remind him of his manners, ironically considering their current characterisations), so certain parts of emitter could fit him. Transmuter might as well, because he seems to be hiding/suppressing the more "silly" parts of his personality, or at least he always acts most seriously compared to his coworkers. A facade also goes nicely with his powers of invincibility. Plus, he and Charmy were both deceived by Eggman in Heroes while Vector knew the truth. And manipulator and specialist might fit him as well, I feel like. To me, Espio certainly can be a person who wants to be logical and serious, and he is also described as opinionated, thus I figure he doesn't always listen to others' opinions. And I would say he's an independent person who can be charismatic/able to make alliances, but without really getting close to the person (with exceptions of course being the Chaotix and Silver in Rivals 2). But I must readily admit that I have far less knowledge on Espio's personality and what events in the games show off certain traits of his compared to Silver's, so take these with a grain of salt!

#silver the hedgehog #espio the chameleon #gold the tenrec #I should learn more about Espio haha #maybe it'll give me an answer on what developments he can go through in New New Beginnings #apparently these are from hunter x hunter but I must readily admit I know nothing about that‚ apologies #long post

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astral-athame · 6 months

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Which of the OT4…

is the best storyteller?

Smiles the most?

Has the most fashionable clothes?

Has a secret RP/Tumblr acc?

Is most likely to pee in the woods during a road trip?

Would be a classic Hollywood villain for Halloween?

Is the best hugger?

Would be your date to a wedding?

@dhampiravidi

Okay! Absolutely feel free to correct me / give your own opinions / etc. BUT:

Best Storyteller: Jayn! Cass tells stories sometimes, too, but she's found that she's better at lyrics and poetry kinda writing (I imagine, with the kiddos, she's more likely to make up silly songs to get them to remember things or just for fun). But I feel like Jayn does the best actual story telling for sure! (Though Pogue does absolutely silly, almost nonsensical, stories sometimes~)

Smiles The Most: Cass! She's really good at smiling despite almost anything. I also think she's just easily amused and generally tries to keep a happy demeanor <3

Has the most fashionable clothes: That one's hard. I actually don't know... ^^; I don't think it'd be Cass- she doesn't care at all about what's in fashion, she just likes to wear things that are comfy or that she thinks look cool. I think Pogue is kind of the same way- he could afford to be fashionable, but he just wears what he likes and what's comfy (and, also, what he feels he looks good in). Though I can see him accidentally being pretty fashionable xD

Has a secret RP/Tumblr account: Both Cass and Jayn. And they're mutuals who read each others fanfics and leave comments on them and such... they just don't know they're each other xD Cass would 10000000% rp too, probably in a bunch of different fandoms. So if Jayn does, too, I can even see them crossing paths in rp without knowing it.

Is most likely to pee in the woods during a road trip: POGUE. I don't think I have to explain this, to me it's obviously Pogue xD Cass is gonna hold it until she can get to an actual restroom of some sort unless she has NO choice xD

Would be a classic Hollywood villain for Halloween: Hmm... I dunno about this one, honestly. I think I could see any of them doing it, especially on what you consider a "classic Hollywood villain". But PLEASE tell me your thoughts on this! I wanna know!

Is the best hugger: Cass gives the most hugs, but I feel like Caleb gives the best hugs. I just feel like his hugs are really warm and, also, he's 6'2" meaning he's about a foot taller than both of the girls so when he hugs them, he practically engulfs them completely xD (Maybe I'm also biased because we've discussed that Caleb is the only one in the group who is strictly a dom and that correlates to him being a good hugger in my head for some reason xD) I dunno about your thoughts on Jayn's hugging- but I feel like Pogue gives good hugs, don't get me wrong! But he gives a lot of side hugs, ya know? Like, the kind where he wraps one arm around someone's waist and pulls them kind of against his side. Also- I feel like there's a bit of awkwardness occasionally because his parents didn't hug him a lot as a kid, and his dad basically never did, especially not after he was, like, 5 or 6. So once he and Caleb start being more coupley, I feel like he's really awkward about physical contact with Caleb, even more casual stuff that he was fine with before. At least for a little while, anyway.

Would be your date to a wedding: Mine? Oh gosh, it'd depend on whose wedding! I'm out to some of my family and, generally, I prefer dating girls over guys, so probably Jayn or Cass if it's a wedding for anyone who already knows how not-straight I am. I'd lean towards Jayn because, as much as I love Cass, I feel like it'd be extra fun to go with Jayn <3 But if I had to go to the wedding of a more conservative family member or something who doesn't know that I'm pan (because I have some very religious family members...) then I'd take Caleb over Pogue. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to take Pogue... but I feel like Caleb would be better suited to the situation. I think he's polite and he's a good conversationalist. Pogue has long hair, too, and I know a couple family members who would make shitty comments about it wrapped in, like, the guise of a "joke" and I wouldn't want to subject him to that. But Caleb would be the kind of guy they wouldn't even think twice about except to say that he seems nice, or smart, or that he's handsome. So it wouldn't draw any unwanted attention. Also- going back to Jayn, I feel like she'd help me come up with an excuse to get out of there earlier if things got uncomfortable because I get high stressed at large social gatherings (which is why I'm not looking forward to Christmas ^^;). And Caleb would be able to handle it if I had a minor panic attack from not having a moment to get away from other people for long enough. I think he could cover conversation for us both pretty well so I could be quiet if I was overstimulated xD So, yeah! Jayn or Caleb! Jayn for a wedding I'd feel more comfy at, Caleb for one that I'd be more anxious about attending~ (Alternately, if you meant it as who would Cass take- she'd take all 3 of them and introduce all of them as her date and when people laughed about it or didn't take her seriously, she'd be like "No. Really. These are my boyfriends and my girlfriend and we're all dating / married" like... if they have a problem with it, that's on them xD Though if she only had a plus one and none of the others were invited so they couldn't all go, she'd chose whoever wanted to go, and if more than one wanted to, then it'd come down to whoever had the day off or could get it off most easily or they'd have to do a little rock-paper-scissors to decide~)

#ooc.#( what if we rewrite the stars ⋆｡°✩ ) about

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lionydoorin · 1 year

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More Tumblerina Amber go!

TUMBLRINA AMBER TIME LETS GO.

okay more!

amber's an only child and her parents were pretty absent, so she had free, unsupervised screen time ever since she learned how to type in a computer.

she joined tumblr back in like 2014-ish when it was super trendy to have one and she had her sadgirl only phase. then her primary focus became wlw ships and horror because she was Gay and loved horror. then her unhealthy obsession with stab came and the blog shifted to being solely about stab.

her blog title is the quote "movies make psychos more creative!" and the description reads "amber, 17, she/her. stab-focused blog."

she ignored a lot of asks, particularly when people disagreed with her opinions. mostly because she felt the urge to threaten them if she felt they were wrong. amber had no shame of saying people were stupid if they didn't get or understand her opinion.

(she probably got cancelled and called toxic a bunch of times. she didn't give a flying fuck, though.)

she had some pretty sus, kinda unsettling posts from time to time. she'd obsess over certain character deaths a lot, to an unhealthy amount. she also asked a lot of things about death. and her followers asked her in return.

the really late hours of the night (2 or 3am) is when she posted darker stuff the most. not a lot of people picked up on it, though, as she'd schedule a few posts to cover her creepy posts when she was up.

her favourite death in stab one is the garage door death. favourite opening kill from stab two, she talks about it a lot. least favourite opening is definitely stab 8.

honestly, even though she was mostly a stab 1 purist, she had some compliments about stab 2-7 from time to time, but stab 8 was an absolute No. she basically only insulted it.

one of her most controversial takes is that the fact sidney threatened to sue the studio after stab 3 really bothered her; now not only the movies lack a bad guy to come back every time, but now there's not even a definitive final girl? (this is what made her so, so glad sidney was back for her own stab 8 script. you can't have a bon afide halloween without jamie lee!)

mindy also has a tumblr account, as far as she was aware of. but she wasn't really close to any of them, besides tara, and never told mindy about her account. she did know theirs, though, and mindy was also a horror-focused tumblr, not limited to stab.

(when tara started opening up about amber, she showed mindy her blog. it was the first time someone besides tara saw the extent of amber's obsession. they closed it, though, when anxiety got the best of them after seeing some of the darker stuff; when amber commented about the gruesome deaths of "nina, the petite, fragile girl" and "vic, the movie's horror buff", in particular, they decided it was time to let it go.)

#i'm. i. cant stop. i can't stop. i'm sorfy #tumblrina amber #amber freeman #scream #ma talks scream #ask #oooh the horrors #alex i love you. thank you for letting me talk about it

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fumifooms · 2 years

Text

Underrated autistic Nagi observations

So like we all know Nagi is autistic in all but canon and some people have already pointed much of that out, but I’ve been hyperfixating on Neo Twewy for like a week (might have been naive of me but I honestly didn’t think it’d be such a long game :D) (edit: this draft has been sitting on my tumblr for months lol, I’m starting the hyperfixation again woot woot) and I got to this part earlier

And it might just be the most autistic interaction I’ve seen so far but in a subtle way enough that I don’t think anyone has talked about it so here I go!

Beat says “Man how could anyone be so pissed at not getting a glass of water smh smh” which is more rethorical than a genuine question in the first place, but Nagi, who of course would interpret it as an actual question because the thirst for knowledge and her own experience of confusion at other people’s thought processes, just infodumps her psychoanalysis of this stranger. You might start believing Nagi relates/agrees with the guy by the end of it, but imo it’s just hyperempathy. She didn’t scan his thoughts to know that, she used logic while putting herself in his shoes and taking into account things like societal expectations to figure out what must have pissed him, and then she starts passionately ranting about a point of view that isn’t even her own and keeps thinking as if she were in his shoes so much that it looks like she’s the one who had those thoughts and experiences. A neurotypicalTM would have pretty much just gone “Dunno, probably just upset at not getting that basic thing if I’d have to guess, but yeah pretty ridiculous” or something, because yeah like I said ranting like that about what someone else’s opinion must be often make people look at you suspiciously and think you’re agreeung when you’re simply stating their opinion in an informational way without feeling the need to defend your understanding of them every 3 words. And also that’s why I love how the other chars after it just went “ehh I still don’t get it but I guess” instead of turning on her or questioning her passion or smth, it truly feels like they’re normalizing autistic behavior and never shun her about it <33 Also her face when she jumps into the conversation to say it... When Beat’s like “what even was he mad about” she just jumps in like “Oh, oh! I know that!” and just like, the urge to infodump lol. The pride of understanding something, having cracked the code after a long time of not understanding it either. Detective-ing. She looks so much like she’s thinking she’s being useful or smth i love her sm <3

Also another thing others haven’t pointed out to my knowledge, but while part of Nagi’s reluctance to do dives is definitely because she feels uncomfortable invadings others’ privacies and minds, I do think there’s a sensory overload aspect to it too. After all, not only are dives tough fights, they’re also constantly hearing the person’s negative thoughts, and the emotional auras that paint the whole place a certain color and seems to even affect the air feels like it’d be something uneasy to process on its own. BUT why I even thought of it being some kind of sensory overload is Nagi’s reaction after the gatto neko dude dive on week 2 day 4. While Rindo seems to have recovered from the fight, speaks easily and casually thanking Nagi with his usual sprite, Nagi’s is slumped and exhausted, only managing a “Phew...” this to me reeks of mental exhaustion after doing a social or high sensory activity. None of the other psychs seem to particularly tire any of them besides her, after all There’s also the first thing she says about it: there’s definitely a part of it that’s about how social and emotional it is. Just this very intimate sort of social interaction is overwhelming and uncomfortable on its own.

(I sadly don’t have a screenshot of her sprite when she said it, but it’s this one, which is telling)

Also, dyspraxia, that’s why she’s often so clumsy. She didn’t just fall in the stairs, she fell headfirst in the stairs. Her sprite of jumping away in shock/fear also says dyspraxia to me, the way her body language is so strong, like her movements are either minimal or extreme, and the way one of her hands has some fingers curled tightly while others are straights also seems weirdly discoordinated to me lol. Her stance/animation in fights is pretty overexaggerated and not useful in the least too. I could probably list more but you get the idea.

Also, she has trouble with volume control I think!! Sometimes when she rants about EleStra she gets screaming speech bubbles and lol, yeah, felt.

Here’s like… The one other tumblr post about autistic Nagi observations : https://beastenraged.tumblr.com/post/658561921344307200/i-really-love-nagi-in-neo-twewy-and-part-of-that

#neo twewy #the world ends with you #nagi usui #character analysis #autistic nagi usui #autistic headcanon #Actually autistic #asd #my analysis #fumi rambles

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terubakudan · 7 months

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Sup. xD

No, but really. Hi guys! Long time no see.

I see that Tumblr's changed, and believe me I'm re-learning how to use it. xD

So, um...usual life update I guess, you don't have to read this but I have to get this out of my system or I'll go crazy xD.

Honestly I really miss blogging and talking about fandoms, hobbies and whatnot. It's literally been over a year since I last blogged and there's a reason for that: literally no work-life balance at my old job. I say 'old' because I finally quit this year!! I'm really glad to be out of that soul-sucking hellhole xD For reference, I used to work at one of the Big Four accounting firms as an auditor, think hard before going in haha. The pay may be good...but at what cost?

For a while even when I left I couldn't stop thinking about work, I would always worry that there's something that hasn't been finished yet, and believe me at that kind of job the workload is endless Orz. On the plus side I did get experience, but I'm waaayyyy more glad to be out than in, believe me guys, work-life balance is something that everyone should have, I don't know what it's like in other countries (do feel free to share, I'm quite curious) but there's a reason so many foreign professionals choose not to work in Taiwan:

The pay is low. Especially compared to Japan and South Korea. As of now minimum wage is NTD 26,400 (USD 836) per month, and NTD 176 (USD) per hour, the thing is it's seriously not keeping up with inflation here. Bento used to cost NTD 60~70 when I was in college! Now it's NTD 90~100 on average.

Hours are long. Not all jobs are like this, but you are expected to do overtime without additional pay in most.

A lot of bosses here just...don't know leadership skills? Like they know how to work, but are awful at teaching and leading subordinates. Both Mom and I complain that the EQ of some locals is quite low ^^" No seriously, you do something well and somehow it's always your fault xD People here can be too materialistic sometimes and don't spend enough time on enriching themselves and others. It's really the fault of long work hours as well as the cram school culture here.

So yeah..welp.

My new job (accounting staff at a SME) may be lower pay but at least I get to come home earlier now, which honestly is a relief. Also weekends off. You'd be extremely lucky to get a weekend off at the old job xD

In a way, my Dad spoiled our family xD Because he was too nice we got really used to this rosy portrait of Taiwan and the locals xD But yeah, Mom, Bro and I will find ways to carry on.

Well enough about that! I hope everyone's getting on well with their lives, even when it's tough, there are always ways to carry on. ╰(*´︶`*)╯

I haven't been 100% offline actually xD Just a lot of lurking xD

Some things I've been up to:

You are now looking at a JoJo's Bizarre Adventure fan xD JJBA lives in my head rent-free and I don't regret it at all, I want to slap past me for not following JoJo sooner, especially as an avid fan of music and fashion. My brother’s pestering of me to watch it finally came to. I don't read manga, have watched Parts 1~6 (and made my Mom watch it with me ha xD she practically got almost all the music references xD) and am excited for a Part 7 anime!! Which could take forever sadly :( Along with Arcane Season 2, it’s been a while since there’s a show that I really look forward to watching, what with the current state of TV and movies nowadays. Too much on content and not enough on quality or well, basic storytelling even.

But I'm sad that I can't go to JOJO WORLD. QQ I really have a knack for getting into things too late.

My personal ranking: 2>5>3>4>1>6. This is just personal favoritism xD Each part has their own strengths and weaknesses and the writing in later parts is better as Araki has really matured as a mangaka and writer. But Part 2 is amazing. Period. I will not have it any other way. Special mention goes to this guy for simultaneously stealing my heart and *ahem* crushing (sorry) it, I have only cried for him:

He and Joseph should kiss.

2. I got into gaming again! Thank Steam really for letting lots of players save money on not having to buy separate consoles xD I got my brother to help me invest in a good gaming laptop, and it's just lovely. Some of my favorite games:

METAL GEAR RISING: REVENGEANCE

I got to experience Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance and my god it's a MASTERPIECE. The OST also is just *chef's kiss*. The composer really did a great job with the music. The animation that plays every time Raiden uses Zandatsu is an absolute joy to watch xD My brother introduced this game to me through the memes, and he immediately regretted it when it was all I could talk about for a while xD But god slicing a Metal Gear in two while Rules of Nature plays in the background, how can you not squee?! xD

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Mind you this is the tutorial boss xD I highly recommend this game, pure unadulterated adrenaline rush xD It’s so over-the-top and unapologetic, and just damn cool.

SEKIRO: SHADOWS DIE TWICE

I also beat Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice. And as of now, it's still the best sense of achievement that I got from a game, it's the most difficult game I've ever played and let me tell you guys I'm good friends with the death screen xD

The adrenaline rush I got from beating Genichiro for the first time (and throwing the lightning back at him!!) as well as beating Sword Saint Isshin was unreal. At some point, the gameplay for me clicked, and it was immensely satisfying being able to perfectly parry the enemy's attacks. The clanging of swords is a sound that I absolutely love.

Though fuck Demon of Hatred xD. Joke I love the Sculptor character who I affectionately call 'Sculptor Dad' but come on you had to unlearn the game's combat system just to beat him. I agree that he's more of a Dark Souls boss than a Sekiro one.

Well deserving of 2019 Game of the Year 👏

DEVIL MAY CRY V

So you can probably see by now that I love action and hack and slash games xD I used to play Devil May Cry 3 when I was a teenager and even watched the Madhouse anime, the over-the-top-ness and Dante's quips won me over. Dante’s even the whole reason why I tried strawberries and now I love them xD So! It was only natural that I wanted to play DMCV, and I wasn't disappointed.

There’s a total of 4 characters you can play as, each with their own SSStylish gameplay, and I had lots of fun just sending the demons into the air while the extremely enthusiastic cast cheers me on xD

Also V is that Edgy Guy who’s a hit with the ladies xD My brother hates him but I adore him. He even said that I’m a sucker for the “starving artist” types xD Well…

HOW CAN I NOT BE A SUCKER QQ That smirk, dear god.

HADES

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0:34 sold me haha 😂

You play as this really sexy Prince of Hell with daddy issues.

While Sekiro would frustrate me sometimes with constantly dying, every time I died in Hades it encouraged me to keep on playing, as whenever you die it actually advances the plot and unlocks new dialogue with the various characters, who are based on Greek mythology. If anything the game encourages you to die xD There was a time I was so determined to make it to the surface and when I did it was the next morning already xD

The art by Jen Zee is also just extremely gorgeous, and the OST by Darren Korb (who also voices Zagreus) is amazing. I also recommend Supergiant’s other games Bastion, Transistor, and Pyre. They are one of the best indie game developers out there. They put a lot of heart into their games, which is something a lot of AAA games lack nowadays.

Also I headcanon that Zagreus listens to Coldrain while hacking and slashing through hell. It just seems like a band he would listen to xD

And not to forget, but thank Supergiant for giving the option to romance this really sexy grim reaper xD I'm a sucker for the 'tsundere' types too, and let me tell you every bottle of gifted nectar and ambrosia was worth it. When he finally realized his feelings weren't unnecessary I squeeed.

DISCO ELYSIUM

Last but not least, an underrated gem.

Disco Elysium is one of those games that shouldn’t exist, and boy am I glad that it does.

It’s a choose your adventure game in which you play as a detective trying to solve a murder case with your partner, all the while getting to know the seaside town of Martinaise. Which once you get to explore it, isn't really that big and yet somehow feels huge, there's a whole fictional history that was created for it and for places outside Martinaise even, the worldbuilding for this game is insane. It also seems very real and similar to our own and yet it's all fictional, I really admire that level of detail.

I actually first heard of this game through an artist I follow on Tumblr, who draws True Detective and Disco Elysium fanart. I adore the first season of True Detective and never knew that MartyxRust does things to me. Read reviews about this so-called "True Detective/The Wire-inspired" game and was sold.

Also the developers really hit it out of the park with Kim Kitsuragi, god I love Kim 😭 One of the best companions that you can have out there. Whenever I felt bad and by extension made my player character feel bad (the game is choice-based, there's even an achievement called 'World's Sorriest Cop' xD), Kim would always be helpful and encouraging and god just the sweetest.

The humor in the game is also something I just found so charming, and the voice acting is perfect for every character, I find myself having fun mimicking the voices a lot. I kept pestering my brother to play this game, and his Evrart Claire impression is so spot-on, I myself like to impersonate the Fritte clerk with my 'm'kays' xD

Oh, and you can start a nightclub at a church. And believe me when you experience this scene in the game, it is glorious.

3. I had one of those 'happiest days in your life' moments: I went to see the GazettE's MASS final concert in Japan!! And the crazy thing is I specifically flew in just to see them, I was there in Japan for the concert and went home the next day. At the time I had booked my airline ticket thinking I would still be clocking in to my old job on Monday and well, I never thought I would quit xD

And silly me never thought that even Japanese trains could be late (the local trains at least), I was almost late to the 05:30 PM assembly time xD

By the time I got to the Budokan I was confused by the lack of banners and signs at the entrance at first, then I saw this procession of people in black heading to MASS (ha) and just knew. xD

And I thought I was the only one silly enough to fly to another country for a concert, then I heard Mandarin, English, Spanish in the crowd and thought: 'ah, music really brings people together'. It was beautiful.

Seeing the bouquet with the 'From overseas fans (Overseas fans より)' made me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Too shy to take my own picture xD But glad to know I'm not the only one extremely happy to be there.

I tried to take a picture of this Uruha banner and it just kept flapping in the wind like Uruha during the heavier songs, so I just gave up xD

The setlist for that night, when they played Miseinen (未成年) I think I started tearing up QQ Frankly the whole night was so surreal I couldn't stop thinking about what I experienced on my way back to the hotel. And I stayed at a capsule hotel for the first time! Specifically this one.

The song they played after the concert was an instrumental version of Knockin' On Heaven's Door, and it was absolutely lovely. They even teased a trailer for a new release next year(!!) and a trailer for their Christmas concert A HYMN OF THE CRUCIFIXION ver.2

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Their trailers are needless to say, cinematic. I'm sad that they removed all their older trailers off YouTube though :(

As of writing this, there are still stuff I want to share and fangirl about, but unfortunately I have to wake up to a job tomorrow xD If I could, I'd spend my days just doing what I love and not having to deal with stupidity at work. I just want to say I'm glad that there are things in life to enjoy and make going through the daily grind even just a bit easier :)

#personal stuff #jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #mgr #metal gear rising #sekiro #sekiro shadows die twice #dmcv #devil may cry v #hades #disco elysium #the gazette #life is better now especially with the job change #even when my boss can be unreasonable sometimes xD - I now think that any treats to lunch are obligatory for the work I put in hah #seriously guys no shame in clocking off work on time #I truly hope that Taiwan starts looking out for its employees and students more #when Steel Ball Run the anime gets announced let me know asap #I already know I will love Gyro QQ #and if anyone has any JoseCae/CaeJose fanfic recs let me know too xD #I've been devouring that ship in an unhealthy amount #then again when have I been healthy with shipping xD #curse Joseph for being so god darn charming #and Caesar for being the Spongebob to his Patrick

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