more i-land lore 🍨

There's something about like. A certain genre of posts / Online Opinions about insecurity/depression/misery/complaints that are so unhelpful that they wrap right around to being straight up hilarious. and it's the ones that are more or less written to the tone of "Feeling bad? That's gross!" Like, just so you know, don't voice your insecurities/ have low self esteem, because that's offputting! You're gross and weird. Don't be insecure about that, though. That would be stupid if you felt insecure about people disliking you for being insecure. Not attractive. You should be thinking about being as attractive as possible. You shouldn't make comments about suicide, even if you're suicidal! Keep those thoughts entirely to yourself. Make sure nobody around you knows you're thinking about this. It would Make Them Uncomfortable. It's better to keep these thoughts in your head where they can fester. Don't post OR talk to friends with complaints about you feeling miserable or depressed. Tbh people who are sad/upset a lot? Kinda a red flag! You are probably miserable because you're a bad person and you've brought this on yourself. If you don't have friends, it's because you're awful to be around. Easy! Solved the problem for you. And no, there is no nuance to this, got it? So, make sure to feel bad about feeling bad, but don't feel bad about it, because, well, that's just gross. And annoying! You might've wanted your brain rotted thoughts to be Peer Reviewed, you might have just needed to vent- you might've been hoping for some comfort, to get things off your chest. Well, don't! Don't talk about thoughts or feelings that are negative with your friends, you'd be burdening them and that's only meant for THERAPY. #SponsoredbyBetterHelp #MentalHealth like, DAMN. that's so helpful. you're so good at helping. I um really liked the part where these are all hard and fast rules that encourage keeping feelings bottled up and keeping your friends at arm's length. That's really funny of you.

my heart might give out from stress

i don't want my drafts to remain in purgatory if that happens

here's a snippet from the blowjob brothers

happy vday or whatever

hlwi snippet: timkorv ceo and pa roleplay

tldr what you get when you have two overthinking maskers that are dating

(mature, allusions to exhibitionism)

Korvin is supposed to shadow Tim today as his PA. At the same time, he can stealthily join in discussions on some Wayne Enterprises & Subsidiaries’ projects for the next fiscal year. It’s dubious as hell, managerially incestuous, and not at all billable to any of the workbooks. Technically, Korvin is “Out of Office.”

Tam gives them a Look, Lucius gives them a bigger Look, and they both separately say, “Keep it out of Meeting Room 5B.”

“Pardon?” Korvin plays the wide-eyed mangénue well—first PA job fresh out of his management degree, definitely-of-course-not hired for his credentials nor family connections.

“Director Kwan-Wayne.” Lucius removes his glasses to polish them and says in a mild tone, “That 3 AM with M-Systems could have your name on it for the rest of your tenure. Clear?”

Korvin drops character for a brief moment of honesty. “Crystal, Chief Fox; keeping it contained.”

They get left alone late morning in Tim's office. Tam pointedly does not look in their direction and pushes the controls to shut the blinds.

That’s not Tim’s concern right now.

Right now, his only concern is coaxing the young and nervous PA to come play with him. Cute face, DSL, firm ass, and positively stacked—Tim has to have him under his hands as soon as possible. “I don’t have super hearing, Mr. Kwan. You’re going to have to come closer to my desk.”

His PA walks to the front of the desk, posture stiff and straight like he’s about to crumple with nerves given any leeway. He doesn’t look Tim in the eye; instead, he leans over the desk and clumsily holds the tablet out to show the agenda for the day.

“Mr. Drake, I have the brief for 11 AM printed—if I could go retrieve—”

“Mr. Kwan, no need for that; just brief me like this.”

“L-Like this?” Poor thing is flustered and baffled. Tim supposes he needs a bit of clear direction to help him along.

“Oral report,” he clarifies. And Tim can’t help it when the back of his pen traces against the younger man’s jaw. The metal tip goes up to the corner of his lips, tapping that tempting beauty mark right at the edge. All of it would look amazing wrapped around his cock. The heat would fog up those cute glasses, and if Tim gets careless with his aim? A little mess on those unruly curls wouldn’t be out of place. “Nervous when you speak, Mr. Kwan?”

“I-I,” his PA swallows, the motion framed by the turtleneck under his suit. The suit itself is nicely fitted, if a little juvenile in the fabric weight and cut; obviously a gift from someone with more means. The turtleneck pairing is tasteful, but a choice—hiding love bites? With the gift suit and his looks, maybe this type of “PA work” isn’t outside of the younger man’s experience. “I’m trying to work on. Uh. That, M-Mr. Drake.”

“Luckily for you, I have plenty of advice to offer,” Tim offers with a smile. “We have half an hour—why don’t you come around and I do that while we discuss the brief?”

His PA gives a bashful glance at the wall clock, though still frozen in his vulnerable pose and in Tim's hand.

“Don’t be shy,” Tim whispers, letting the back of his fingernails graze along the younger man’s cheek. Dark eyes follow the path his hand takes, trace it back to Tim himself. When it’s obvious that the other is fighting back a timid but interested bite on his bottom lip, Tim lets his gaze fall to “bedroom eyes” and cocks his head to beckon his new playmate over.

Their roleplay quickly falls apart after that, though because neither Tim nor Korvin can stand being Not Correct. The derailment happens at the intended coy exchange of, “‘Oh, what if we get caught?’ ‘Guess you’ll have to be quiet, sweetheart,’” and then—

“What? No, now I’m actually concerned. You’re the loud one,” is refuted with, “no, that’s you with the actual anechoic sex room.”

“It’s not a—whatever! I literally had to install a trained bypass filter on the hall cams because of you!”

Never mind the unhinged meticulousness in finding the right sounds to train said filter on— “And you got caught, so fine, we’re both loud but I’m stealthier! ...and you’re louder.”

“We have the technology to be, y’know, objective. You just don’t want to be wrong.”

“I don’t want to dignify this argument with actual data.”

“Yeah, that’s how I know you’re actually louder,” Korvin rolls his eyes, even as he continues to contort himself under Tim’s desk. “This front drawer’s in the way.”

Tim pushes his chair back and bends to look at the bottom of the drawer. “I think if you kneel further back, but then—”

“—yeah, I'd have to lean forward.”

“Oh…but that's a better angle for your throat, though.”

Korvin nods thoughtfully. “You'd have to keep me from falling too forward or chance someone seeing my hands stick out,” he muses.

“I'll keep my ankles crossed back in. Brace against that,” Tim suggests, and at Korvin's nonchalant thumbs up, he rolls back in front of his desk.

Idk if it's me getting older or less fandom brained but I don't really get the 'shipping' impulse for the most part. Like I have to either REALLY believe a romantic angle is being intentionally written (and I tend to go into things with a hard skeptic angle to avoid disappointment LOL), or be really desperate for a femslash option (and even then it has to be at least a little plausible to me).

Like I do get heavily invested in fictional characters' relationships but it's usually more of an 'as-is' thing. I don't really understand the appeal in putting characters together romantically/etc just because you Can.

Lmao I need therapy

I finished a huge commission and am finally free to draw my Brain Blorbos once more!!! This is Nir, my sad little he/they. They don’t talk much but will kick anyone’s ass for their friends. anyone’s.

The way Tobias is contemplating founding some orphanages under a different alias bc the sheer amount of orphans he's coming across in the underground is insane and he can't exactly leave the miniature humans die on the streets after all the effort he's put into saving them but also he'd rather die than send them to any orphanage with Quillish's name in it purely out of spite and frankly there's no way regular orphanages have enough spots for all these kids <- dilemma.

(I didn’t know if I liked it better with or without the black so,,, have both)

Japan’s pokes are all ones that reference Japanese mythology/culture (I used these websites to help with research) From left to right: Samurott - Samurai Whiscash - Ōnamazu Ninetales - Kyūbi no kitsune Shiftry - Tengu Hariyama - Sumo wrestlers Froslass - Yuki onna

I wake up && check my dash like the normal writer that I am... only to find breeding kink galore.

i really want to start making a table collecting statistics on the audience demographics i'll perform my aubrey material for (like what generation most of the audience is, whether i'm performing in a predominantly queer space, etc.) and how well the jokes land bc like. i need to collect more data points before i can properly present my findings but the results so far have been fascinating

playing minecraft is a bit dangerous for me because i’ll tell myself that i’ll play only for 20 minutes and then it’ll be approximately two hours later

for all the unreasonable quality of life adjustment requests i have for ao3, i do think there is exactly one reasonable desire i have for the site, which is to add "on hiatus" and "cancelled/discontinued" categories to the complete/incomplete statuses.

every so often my depression causes me to impulsively look up my ex best friend and ex boyfriend from high school a million years ago on Facebook and ya know? I always feel better about myself afterwards

I either need to accept that I am just a way stronger person than this friend and can handle way more while still being able to engage with the world as a person, or recognize excuses as excuses, accept that I am not valued and be done or. Maybe both. Idk. It might be somewhere between the two. I am just sick of regular life stuff rendering him unable to spend any time with me, and of him being unable to bear any of the details of my life, when I would move mountains to rekindle our friendship. Though I'm starting to wonder if I still would.