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iamnmbr3 · 3 years

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i’m literally waiting in the lgbt rep in the loki show & the “visibility” of black women in pivotal roles on it as advertised in interviews cause rn i’m just seeing white lady better than everyone syndrome show

This is a great ask and I have several thoughts on this so buckle up guys, gals, and pals bc this is going to get long. Here’s the thing. Visibility does not equal good representation. Disney seems to have forgotten that the FRAMING matters the most of all. And boy oh boy does the show fail on that front.

“The Birth of a Nation” is a famous pro-KKK film from 1915 which is still influential today in some white nationalist circles. This film actually has a lot of black characters. Many of those black characters are portrayed by white actors in blackface, but let’s ignore that issue for a second and pretend that they hired only black actors for those roles. Guess what? That still wouldn’t make the film progressive or have it count as good representation in any way. Why? Well because the film is repugnant, racist propaganda. The point of having black characters in the film is to demonstrate to audiences that they are inherently inferior, unintelligent, sexually aggressive and violent and that the “heroic” KKK is needed to defend against them. This is one of the most famous racist films of all time and a lot of the ideas represented in it are still problems today. Just having black characters in the film doesn’t mean that it counts as good representation or is some victory of progressivism.

Similarly Jewish characters figure very prominently in a lot of Nazi films. These characters aren’t implied to be Jewish or Jewish coded or whatever. They are explicitly Jewish. Diversity win right? Not so much! Because again, FRAMING MATTERS. The Nazis put Jewish characters into their films in order to portray them as greedy, conniving, cowardly, selfish, violent, and dangerous and to show why they were supposedly a blight on German society and needed to be exterminated. So again. Just having Jewish characters who are “visible” doesn’t mean the films aren’t horrifically bigoted and harmful and the very opposite of good representation.

Now let’s get back to the Loki Series and the way it claims to be progressive and throws around “representation” like a buzzword when it has absolutely no right to be doing so. There are several black women in the cast whose characters are in positions of power. That’s true. However, their characters are not granted much focus. They don’t have much depth or complexity. We don’t really know much about their flaws or vulnerabilities. Why does that matter? Because that’s what HUMANIZES a character. These characters are treated more as cardboard cutouts than as humans.

But it gets A LOT worse than that. My biggest issue is that these characters are extremely complicit in the actions of the TVA - a violent, genocidal, fascistic, policing organization that regularly commits acts of torture, enslavement, and violation of due process and that is trying to eliminate free will. Now I’m not saying you cannot have black characters who are villains. Of course you can. No group of people are a monolith and acting like any group is just uniformly pure and perfect is very insulting and infantilizing. However, if you had a movie with all black female characters and the only white males were members of a fascistic policing organization it would certainly feel like the narrative was saying something with that, and the opposite is also true.

But it still gets EVEN WORSE. Because the TVA despite being objectively evil (yes they are. there is no excuse for torture and slavery and anybody coming into my replies to defend such heinous acts needs to go study their history bc I shouldn’t have to argue with you about this) is hero coded. We’re supposed to laugh at their treatment of Loki and think it’s justified. It’s not. Full stop. They torture him and they enslave him. THAT ISN’T OK. But it’s treated as a joke. And the characters who are complicit in it are absolved of their involvement.

Even the ones who later turn against the TVA somewhat don’t feel any guilt about what they have been involved in, because according to the narrative they never did anything so terrible. B-15 gets her memories back and her focus is on herself - “I was happy” rather than on all the people she victimized while she wasn’t in her right mind. Because the narrative wants us to forget about that and think the TVA is mostly alright really. We know this because Loki views Mobius as a friend despite the fact that Mobius has never treated him as a friend - he has tortured him, mocked him, humiliated him, and enslaved him. And the narrative says it’s ok.

And I can’t help feel that the writer - Mike Waldron - is using these black characters to try to insulate the TVA from criticism and push his vile pro authoritarian narrative. It is worth noting that Mike Waldron is white and male. Now I am not at ALL saying that white men cannot write characters who are female or black or any other group they don’t belong to so no one put words in my mouth. They can and they should. But they should do so responsibly (just like writers should depict trauma responsibly etc). And Mike doesn’t seem to be doing so responsibly.

Now I don’t know whether Mike has sympathies with rightwing ideologies, but one of the things I’ve studied irl is rightwing extremism, and some things he has said certainly make me think that he might. The way he writes “representation” in his stories also feels like a bigot’s idea of “what liberals want.” Like how the women are these empty badasses with no personality who demean and mistreat the male characters.

Mike once made a very telling comment about how the show is great because Loki spends a lot of time “under the thumb of strong black women” and to me that is indicative of his world view. He seems to view the idea of racial justice and racial equality as inherently violent and oppressive. When that isn’t the point at all. Equality, whether between genders or races etc isn’t about supremacy. It’s about...EQUALITY! Making sure that everyone is treated fairly. It’s not about switching who the oppressor is. It’s about liberating everyone. It’s like when people say “Well don’t all lives matter?” in response to “Black Lives Matter.” Of course they do. That’s the point of Black Lives Matter. It’s to make sure that all lives do matter - including black lives! It’s not about saying that only black lives matter. It’s about making sure that black and brown lives matter too. Mike’s viewpoint seems to be consistent with rightwing scare tactics about how diversity and racial equality will lead to “white replacement” or “white genocide” or various other conspiracies where white people end up being killed or oppressed. And that seems to have carried over into his work. The black characters are all in positions of power and use that power in ways that are abusive.

But more pernicious still is the fact that I feel like he’s using black characters to prop up his fascistic policing organization and insulate it from criticism. I feel like he’s the conservative who thinks he can “outsmart” the the liberals by being like ‘see. I made the fascistic police black so no one can criticize them now haha im so clever.’ And no Mike. It doesn’t work like that because this is fiction and YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WROTE IT THAT WAY. You are the one who chose to have the only black women characters be abusive authority figures. And guess what? Someone who uses their power to abuse and enslave and torture is evil no matter what race they are. And as I said before it’s fine to have villains who aren’t white, but why are these the only prominent black female characters? “People complicit in police brutality and enslavement of others” is not good representation and it’s also really tone deaf. And it doesn’t at all excuse the pro-abuse, pro-torture, pro-authoritarian messaging of the show. It just makes it worse because he is trying to call it good representation and using the inclusion of these black characters to try to achieve his agenda.

I could say a lot more about this but I also want to talk about the queer representation. Because wow, is it not good. Again, framing matters. Just like “The Birth of a Nation” isn’t progressive just because not all the characters are white, the Loki Series isn’t progressive just because not all the characters are straight. In fact it’s the opposite of progressive. The queer “representation” feels straight out of bigoted propaganda. It’s honestly frightening how viciously cruel it is. Loki’s personality traits have been retconned to map onto harmful stereotypes about queer men. He is overly expressive, makes grand gestures, is flamboyant, cowardly, dishonest, weak, bad at fighting, lazy, spineless, meek, unused to exercise etc. Now a person could be all these things and also happen to be queer. However, Loki was never like this before. His character was retconned to be this way only in this series where he is confirmed to be queer.

Furthermore, the entire premise of the series seems to be that it is funny and entertaining and justified when Loki is dehumanized, mocked, humiliated, hurt, tortured, beaten, assaulted, and/or robbed of his dignity. That’s the premise. That’s the whole show. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT PROGRESSIVE?!?! No really. I want Mike to explain the joke to me. Because the joke can’t be “it’s funny when people get hit in the face” because that sort of thing isn’t routinely happening to Mobius or to other characters. It’s only happening to Loki who is coded as the Other in many different ways and who has been confirmed to be a queer man.

So why is it ok when it happens to him? Why is it funny? Why is the point of him being stripped naked not that this is a horrible violation but that it’s funny that he’s scared? Why is him being repeatedly kicked in the groin (and btw that kind of sexual violence has commonly been used against queer men) supposed to be funny? Why are we supposed to jeer and glory in his degradation and think he deserves it? Because I'm not getting it Mike. Explain the joke to me. I dare you.

In fact I dare Mike to explain how any of the show is progressive or counts as good representation. Yes sure the show has female characters and black female characters and queer characters. But that’s not enough. The FRAMING matters. So c’mon Mike. Don't just tell me what kinds of identities you included in your show. Explain to me why they occupy the roles they do.

I dare you.

#cw discussion of racism #cw reference to police brutality #asks #cw discussion of bigotry #loki tv series #loki series #loki show #loki 2021 #loki tv show #cw bigotry #cw reference to homophobia #cw reference to assault #Marvel #MCU #my post

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mayra-quijotescx · 2 years

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Last one for the banned books show, with apologies that I don’t have a single non-shitty photo of this one and the show is tomorrow and fucking goddammit I don’t want to fucking go I hate people so goddamn much bc everyone’s acting like COVID is over and with the Rodeo still ongoing this is consecutive week four of heinous plague rat invasion and even without that there’s only 4 people in this city whose presence I’m not viscerally repulsed by and my soul cries out for the eternal sleep

*anyway*

this one is about a specific book. You may know it as George, as that is the title under which it was initially published. It's Alex Gino's debut novel, which will be published under the main character's chosen name of Melissa starting in April of this year.

Melissa is an elementary-to middle-grade story of a trans girl discovering herself in part through her desire to play the part of Charlotte in the fourth-grade play of Charlotte's Web. That's what the story actually is. A girl learning what roles do and don't fulfill her personal expression. To hear the many furious ideologues who have made this book top the Most Challenged list every year since publication, you'd think it was about so much more; justifications given for demanding the book be removed from library shelves across the US have ranged from "offensive to traditional family structure" (whose?) to "encourages children to delete their browser histories and change their bodies with hormones" (sensing projection here) to "inappropriate sexual content" (in line with the common fascist tactic of sweeping anything regarding queerness under the heading of pornography in order to do away with it) to finally, "librarians should not put books in a child's hand that require discussion."

That last one speaks volumes to me.

(Sold at Banned!, 03/19/2022.)

[Image description: Illustration of a girl in a Charlotte’s Web costume looking out from behind stage curtains. She has a terrified expression. A layer of vellum covered in typewritten justifications for banning the book of which this girl is the main character covers the illustration. End of description.]

#quijotescx draws sometimes #not going to tag this further bc I keep having massive breakdowns every time I try to type anything and it's probably best this isn't seen #not that more than 8 people would see it anyway but can't be too careful #tbh only posting this bc I promised I would #the plague that never ends

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azuchifairy · 4 years

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Dead of Night

Jerza Vampire! AU One-shot

Inspired by the suggestion from @jasnoor-kaur I realized Jerza needs love an attention bc their ship is so pure so this is my attempt at it! I’ve never written about Jerza before and this turned into something kinda long but I hope you enjoy it and maybe I'll make a little one shot series or something !!

Erza stood at the tree line with the moon as her only light. The forest behind her was teeming with the sounds of the night eventually erupting into a symphony as she waited. In front of her was an open field with tall grass with a path that led to the main road. It usually didn’t take that long for him to show up, but she couldn’t worry, Jellal was quite good at taking care of himself. She didn’t jump when the trees above rustled and force impacted the ground behind her.

“You’re late, did something hold you up?” She asked casually, turning around to see the blue haired vampire behind her. He glowed under the moonlight as he stood, his red eyes looking at her with hesitation.

“My apologies,” He brushed off his coat, “something did keep me.” He said, his tone harder than normal. Something was off and Erza sensed it immediately as she approached him.

“Did something happen? Are Natsu and Juvia okay?” She asked regarding their friends that had been a part of Jellal’s undercover mission for some time now.

Jellal looked away, his eyes distant, “They’re safe. I thought you’d already know. You should’ve known when you killed her.”

Erza understood suddenly and her eyes widened. She took in a breath before responding, “I see, so what’s the Order’s next move?”

Jellal directed his eyes to her incredulously, “That’s your response? How can you be so casual?” His fists clenched, “They want you dead Erza, they want the life to drain from your eyes. Not only that, but they’ve ordered me to do it.”

She shouldn’t have been surprised by his words, but his reaction surprised her all the same. Before that moment things had been going fine and on schedule, but now there was a complication in their plan. Erza was a hunter, not to any specific degree, although recently those of the Order were calling her Titania, the vampire hunter. She was a member of the most dangerous hunting guild across Fiore, Fairy Tail. With the help of her comrades they took on countless different creatures that threatened the lives of humanity and doing so put an obvious target on their heads. Erza had been trained to deal with different types of creatures and climbed up to S class when she was only 14.

Humans had an ongoing fight for centuries with the vampires, unfortunately there were vampire nobles who thought they were above all other beings. An Order was created as a place for those nobles to share their ideas to conquer humans. They were known as the Blood Order and almost every human alive feared their reign. The Order had many powerful vampires that possessed incredible gifts and their ranks grew everyday.

That being said, there were plenty of vampires that wanted to live with humans, even admired them so much that they became vegetarians and only consumed animal blood. Even Natsu Dragneel, one of Erza’s closest friends since she was a child, had been turned into a vampire. Yet he still remained on the side of humanity and a part of the Fairy Tail guild. Jellal was also one of those vampires. He had come up with the idea to infiltrate and gather intel from the Blood Order with both Natsu and one of Fairy Tail’s other members, Juvia Lockser, insisted on joining since they too were vampires. Even while they were supposed to be enemies it didn’t change how Erza cared for Jellal.

Wherever she went he was always watching. When she was visiting the bars downtown, going shopping at the marketplace, or walking the trail home through the forest. He knew she was capable of taking care of herself, but there was a fear he felt inside of the day that she needed help and he was too late. He, over everyone, knew the dangers that lurked in the shadows of the forests. With the Order being so widespread and the target on her head so coveted, he felt compelled to protect her.

Jellal had walked the road of darkness for decades and he had accepted it. He committed heinous crimes against humanity, immoral acts for the Blood Order, and fed on those of innocent blood and youth. There was a time where his loneliness and cost of his sins drove him to want to be evil, to enjoy killing and succumb to the darkness creatures like him were inevitably enshrouded in. But somewhere along the way, someone changed that. In the time he felt the most lost, he was found.

He could still remember the first time that he saw her in front of him. He was giving in to his thirst that night and almost devoured a young man in the forest when he sensed the scent of even more delectable human blood. His fangs were bared and as he turned around to change his prey he was stopped.

In the moonlight, so delicate yet so brave, the woman with red hair stood gripping her arm in pain. She was shaking so hard that it seemed she was about to drop the knife coated in her blood, yet even in agony she pointed at him with a stern glare. He swallowed hard, nothing but the wind made a sound. Her scarlet hair flowed underneath the light and touched his tainted black soul. After spending years trying to atone for his sins, dying by her hand didn’t seem so bad. He was ready to accept that fate over all others and stayed still in place on the ground where he knelt.

Something must’ve changed her mind, because within seconds she cast the knife down to the side and approached him. He was so struck with shock that he didn’t even feel the burning sensation of thirst anymore. She took her bloodied hand off of her wound and standing above him she cupped his face. Her eyes appeared to be soft, full of sorrow, yet she was still smiling.

“It really is you..”

That was all she said, and all she needed to say. He was so captivated that he would follow her to the ends of the earth. She had grown into such a beautiful young woman that if he could blush, he would’ve.

“You.. know me?” He asked skeptically trying to remember where a gorgeous being such as her would’ve seen him.

She chuckled brushing her red hair from her face, “Of course I do. I knew from the moment I saw you I would never forget.”

He stood abruptly and pulled her hand off of him, “What are you..” he remembered the blood on his hands and mouth, “Don’t look at me, I didn’t want you to see-”

“You don’t think I know?” She interrupted with her tone remaining soft. “You saved me then, and got me to safety.”

Then he realized that it was her, the infamous Erza Scarlet, but the moment she was talking about was before that. It was the night that the Blood Order had decided to choose a small village on the outskirts of the country for their ceremonial feeding. The vampire nobles had come up with a sick way of getting the specially chosen vampires fed by holding a cultist ceremony before purging a village of innocent people. In their minds they were rewarding their strongest members who benefitted the Order by gathering recruits, slaves, or intel and Jellal almost always got chosen. It was sick and immoral but it fed the hungry demon inside of every vampire, including him. To prepare for the ceremony, the chosen vampires were to go as long as possible without feeding to induce the ultimate level of thirst. This ensured that the entire village would be destroyed, and every drop of blood shed.

Fires had broken out and soon enough the whole village was aflame as vampires attacked the people trying to flee. Erza was one of those people but still a child at the time which made her significantly slower than the others. She ran as fast as she could but she wasn’t quick enough to outrun the vampires. Her body smacked into one of the higher ranks and she was thrown to the ground on impact. The vampire before her was called Zero and he was a ruthless killer amongst the Order. He held no care for human life, like animals to the slaughter.

Erza cowered in the ground trying to crawl backwards away from his figure looming over her. The moment he went to grab her and end her life Jellal threw himself in front of her. He grabbed onto Zero’s hands and growled against his strength.

Zero was surprised by this, since it was against the Law of the Order. No vampire had ever protected a human, “Jellal?! What the hell are you doing?!”

He couldn’t speak, Jellal was working against the will of his thirst and if he lost focus he might end up hurting Erza. This berserk mode was the most dangerous state of a vampire, but also their strongest. Their desire to consume blood takes over their minds and bodies becoming something truly worse than just a vampire. Erza watched the scene unfold before her knowing that the blue haired man was also a vampire, but not knowing why he was protecting her.

Zero had claws much like a beast as part of his gift and he was strong enough to tear through human bodies. Jellal was carefully dodging his moves using his immense strength to throw and smash him to the ground repeatedly. Nearby there was a strong scent of blood that smelled so good it distracted both Jellal and Zero.

Both tried to resist the thirst to focus on their fight and Jellal paid the price for letting his guard down. He had turned around to check that it wasn’t the girl who was bleeding and Zero lunged himself towards with his claws. Erza yelped suddenly, “Look out!!”

Jellal was able to send himself backwards just in time to not take the full brunt of Zero’s attack but he was still slashed by the five claws. Jellal cried out in pain and fell to the ground holding his abdomen.

“TRAITOR! I’ll kill you for protecting a scum human!!” Zero bellowed continuing his attack.

Unfortunately for Zero, those were the last words he ever spoke.

In the dead of night he snapped Zero’s head off. Jellal had no choice but to kill his own kind and burn the body, or else he would tell the Order of his treason. It was only until after Zero’s body was burning did he pick up Erza and bring her into the woods all while his mind was swimming. He wanted to drain her of blood, he wanted to save her, the contradicting thoughts and intense pain he felt were probably the only thing keeping her alive. When she was far enough away Jellal set her down and stumbled as he started to lose focus.

“Um..-“

“Get out of here!” He pleaded, “Hurry, run and don’t look back! Don’t trust anyone!” During that whole time he had barely looked at her but for a second he caught a glimpse of her scarlet hair.

“No, you need help! You were hurt badly because of me.. I have to help you!!” She protested coming closer.

Jellal didn’t have time to be shocked that not only a human, but a little girl wanted to help him, “NO, please, I’ll be fine just g-go.. I’ll heal on my own. R-Run..before they find you..”

Erza had tears in her eyes and stayed there for a moment longer on her knees, “T-Thank you..”

Once she said that she got up and immediately started running away wiping her eyes as she did. He looked up to the night sky and thought of the trouble he would be in, and he couldn’t find it in him to care. He stayed there through the night remembering her gratitude and the way she looked at him, like he wasn’t a monster.

After that night, Jellal wanted to be better than what he was so that he could start atoning for all the sins he had committed. He began freeing blood slaves of the Order and killing vampires of the lower ranks to shave off numbers. No one ever suspected that he was working against them, they even thought he was responsible for organizing new recruits. He tried feeding off animals instead and the transition was sickening at first, but became bearable over time. However, from time to time his thirst woke again for human blood and he would either fight or give in. That’s how they were able to meet again. She stood before him a true warrior, fearless, selfless, and stunning.

“I’m a monster Erza, you shouldn’t be here. We were never supposed to meet again.” He said shamefully, turning his head away.

“But that’s a lie. We were supposed to meet again because you never stopped looking after me. I know you were there, even if you thought I didn’t.” She said, pulling him back to her.

Jellal gulped having never been backed into a corner, “I-I was just making sure you were alright.”

Erza raised her brow, “Why would you do that? Why wouldn’t you come out?”

“I didn’t think it mattered to you.. I’m not someone you should be associated with. I’m with the Blood Order, I’m much more of a monstrosity than you think.” He cringed thinking of how he must have looked when she first saw him.

“That’s another lie. You saved me that night, you took me somewhere I could be safe, you’ve watched over me, that has nothing to do with being in the Order or being a vampire.” Her eyes were hard, unwavering, “If you were truly evil you would’ve just killed me. Instead you controlled yourself and rescued me from certain death. On top of that I know you’ve been working against the Order. I know you feel the same way I feel, so you have to think of what you want to be instead of what you think you are.”

He couldn’t say anything, all he could do was stare at her while her words captivated him. Erza looked to the blood on her hand, “Look at you now. I’m standing in front of you dripping in blood and you haven’t done a thing. I know there is goodness in you, Jellal. Stop making yourself believe that you're something you’re not.”

“I..can’t walk in the light like you do, Erza. That just comes with being who I am.” He paused and noticed her glare deepening, “But, maybe I’ll try to..become something better. Especially if I have your support.”

The smile in her eyes did more than just lift his spirit. It truly motivated him to become someone she could walk with, someone she might care for. Maybe that was when he fell in love.

From that night on Erza and Jellal met in the town at least once a week, sometimes more often, to get him used to being around humans. It was easy for him from the start, whenever he was with her he could care less about anything else around him. She even introduced him to all of her friends she had met through Fairy Tail and even they accepted him almost as quickly as she did. When he felt hungry Erza, and the other vampires from Fairy Tail, would help him hunt. It amazed him that Erza had become stronger than he ever imagined she would.

It started to concern Jellal how much time he spent with Erza. His feelings only grew for her the more time they shared. He tried forcing himself to stay away, to leave and hunt for longer periods of time. But none of that created a solution for his love of her. Someone as dark as him, could never be with someone so pure. That was why he came up with the plan in the first place. Infiltrating the Blood Order alongside Fairy Tail helped Erza towards her goal. His mission with Natsu and Juvia continuously fed the guild with information so Erza was always able to position their forces in the ideal places for attacking.

For a while it went unnoticed and Erza’s bounty would rise from time to time. She had triggered the Blood Order the moment she killed Kyoyka, one of the highest ranking vampires. They met unexpectedly while Erza was trying to evacuate the next village to be used for a ceremonial feeding. When Jellal saw Kyoyka’s head burning on the ground he knew there was no turning back. Now that Erza had killed one of the higher ups, her bounty turned into an assassination plot.

“They want you to kill me..” Erza finally answered.

“I won’t do it! I would never hurt you, you have to believe me Erza,” he took her hands in his chilling ones, “please, you must kill me instead.”

Erza stepped back in shock throwing his hands down, “Are you insane?! What good is it going to do if I kill you?! The Order is going to come after me regardless, let them send someone else.”

“I wish it was that easy, but I think they’ve been suspecting me for a while. If I don’t do this the infiltration mission is over and we’ll be caught. You have to do this Erza.” Jellal insisted as he stared into her eyes.

She raged on, “No! I won’t. I refuse to have you throw your existence away for some Order. That would be pointless!”

Jellal clenched his fist, “I’m just trying to protect you! If that means giving up this meaningless immortality then I couldn’t care less.”

“You shouldn’t want to give up your life if you're trying to protect something, you should live to be there! Killing you isn’t the solution here, besides how dare you ever think that’s something I could ever do!” Erza retaliated with a voice full of passion.

“Erza, I.. I just don’t want anything to happen to you. I’d rather go in your place.” Jellal said, casting his eyes down. He felt defeated and utterly useless. Everything he tried to build was about to fall and this was the breaking point.

“Coward! Instead of dying for me why don’t you fight with me?! This world won’t be able to change without you, my world will never last if you aren’t in it! Stop talking about things out of sorrow and let’s both look up for our future!” She threw her hands up, “Forget about the infiltration, we have all the intel we need. Now I need you, I need you to be by my side and come be where you belong. This is the time to turn the tide Jellal, not the time to give up.”

Jellal’s eyes went wide listening to how her voice never wavered, she held no hesitations, no reservations. She wanted to fight with him, she said she needed him. The future, he never truly thought about the future. He was always dwelling on the past, focused on molding the present, that he never stopped to think about what comes after. In every place he could recall the one common thing pushing him forward towards the future without him even knowing it, was Erza. Her light, the radiance in her heart was able to act as a beacon for him to follow, to move forward to. It was clear to him at that moment why he felt the need to protect her, why he relied on her very existence. She was the one pulling him towards the path those like her walked, the path of light. She was the one he fell in love with.

For as long as he had existed he didn’t believe it was possible to escape the darkness of the shadows, the evil he was programmed to have, but she showed him it was attainable. She believed in him and was willing to fight at his side for a future where they could be together, so he would too.

“Erza..” he said picking up her hands while his undead heart felt like it could catapult from his chest, “I want to ask you something.” He watched her blush and her whole demeanor switched.

“W-What?”

“If we fight together, will you stay by my side and let me protect you?” He asked while his mind swirled in an endless whirlpool of thoughts.

She nodded, “Of course. Until my last breath, I want to be by your side.”

Jellal felt a tingle in his chest and cleared his throat trying to regain his coolness, “Erza, what I really need to say is.. I-I can’t have a future without you. I have to have you with me, I want to live in a world where I can make you smile everyday. If that's the future we can both fight for together, then I want it more than anything.”

Erza’s hands trembled in his, “Jellal.. Are you..”

“Yes.” He started firmly, “I need you to know why I would give it all for you. I couldn’t help falling in love with you. I tried to stay away, just to help you in whatever ways I could from the shadows. But you have made me want to be in the light because without you, I’d have nothing.”

Before he even finished speaking Erza had thrown herself into his arms,“J-Jellal.. Why would you do that?” She asked quietly.

If he could blush, he would be red like her hair. “I thought I didn’t deserve you.. Vampires are meant to be predators..killers. I wanted to become better, maybe you could see me as something more. But regardless, I’ll still be here whether or not you feel the same.” He responded, cracking a smile at her.

“Idiot. You’re an idiot.” She said with her face in his chest. His eyes went wide when she looked up at him with tears in her eyes, “I thought I was going to die before you told me that.”

Jellal was in utter shock. He had never seen her cry like this, and she was crying because of him. “Erza..I..”

Her fingers curled into his coat putting her head back down, “You might live forever, but I don’t have that time. I’ve waited.. for you to realize that I’m the one who fell in love with you first.”

He shook his head in disbelief but she continued anyways, “I didn’t want to push you, I didn’t want you to not be ready. But then I started to worry that you would never be ready, that I would die and never get to share my love with you.. I’m just glad, you feel like you can finally love others and even, me.”

The moonlight lit up her face the next time she looked up, and she smiled. Her hands lifted and she cupped his face admiring the realization in his eyes. Jellal’s hand slid against her cheek and she didn’t react to the chill. She nuzzled into it and pulled him down to her slowly with all the stars in the sky to watch.

He let her draw him in and fell slave to the way her lips parted in the darkness. In seconds, he received more bliss than over a hundred years of living. He felt her soft lips send him into nirvana, a feeling that even drinking blood couldn’t give him. Each of them couldn’t help but want more of the other. There was nothing else on his mind, not blood, not the Order, not himself, just her. His hand slipped behind her head cradling her in their kiss all while he was able to touch her smooth red hair holding in his grip. He was gentle with her, but his passion was stirring his supernatural strength.

Her hands were on his chest when he pulled back from her. She was breathless, and so blushed before him. He had never seen a woman like this before him. If he were alive he would be feeling those same sensations.

“I-I’m sorry.. I-” She kissed him again, just for another moment to cut him off from useless apologies.

She rested her nose against his like she was going to kiss him again, but remained still with their foreheads touching, “I love you Jellal, I always have.”

Fireflies began to glow around them, never in his life had he been able to feel so much happiness. “I promise you won’t have to wait for me any longer. You alone..have given me the strength to conquer anything.”

In that moment, everything was perfect. It didn’t take long for that moment to end.

Taggies: @unvalley

#jerza #jellal fernandes #erza scarlet #fairy tail #vampire au #anime #anime otp #azuchifairy

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chuuyaaf · 7 years

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Character analysis?

I was trying to create powers for my oc & I began looking into the characters as not to reuse powers. But as I’m sure you know (if not, this next tidbit will be a treat), that the characters are names after authors & their powers are named after literary works of theirs. I began looking into the stories of which the characters abilities are named after & may have some possible insight as to why they may act the way they do, or possibly (please don’t shoot me, I’m making guesses) as to what may happen. This will be for Dazai & if I get good feedback, I’ll do other characters as well!

-McCree

Dazai Osamu

Dazai is named after an author in Japan who wrote a book called ‘No longer human’, written in 1948 & translated in 1958. The story is about a boy named Ōba, who is a ‘ troubled man incapable of revealing his true self to others, and who is instead forced to uphold a facade of hollow jocularity’. (jocularity means intended for joking). The story is written in a series of notebooks left by Ōba, who at the end of the novel, was submitted to a mental institution for what modern analysis says was ‘complex post-traumatic stress disorder’.

Now, going in order of the parts of the novel, the first chapter, referred to in the story as memoranda, this section was about his childhood. He grew up feeling different & used his facade to help build relationships with other people to cope with this feeling. A traumatic experience that could have brought this on, bc the book doesnt say, could be the fact that Ōba was abused by a female servant as a child.

Now, in chapter 2, Ōba is in school, still holding up his facade but a classmate by the name of Takeichi could see through this (Sounds like Oda to me). He befriended Takeichi to prevent him from revealing his secret. Ōba takes up art to express his feelings in ghost like paintings, and meets another classmate named Horiki, who under his influence Ōba began drinking viciously, smoking & committing heinous sexual acts, one of which was with a married woman (who I assume was swallowed by guilt at the fact of committing adultery) who he later asks to commit a double suicide with him by drowning. (sound familiar?) He survives but the woman dies, which throws Ōba into a pit of guilt.

In chapter 3 part one, he gets kicked out of uni, & has to live with a friend of his family, a single mother with a daughter whom he tries to be a surrogate father to , which he later leaves to live with the woman to owns the bar he frequently goes to. Still drinking away his pain, he falls in love with a girl who asks him to stop drinking, which he complies.

In chapter 3 part two, he stops drinking to pursue a good job as a cartoonist. But after coming into contact with Hiroki again (kinda wanna say this reminds me of Ango not only bc of the gif, but bc of the car wreck Dazai put him in) which causes him to start up again on his bad habits. While talking with ango Hiroki, he recalls his wife being sexually assaulted by a cowoker & distances himself from her. He becomes addicted to morphine and alcohol & is admitted to a mental institution & upon release moves to an isolated area to reflect upon himself.

So, with this being said, Dazai doesn’t show signs of being an alcoholic, but does show similar signs to Ōba with self destructive habits. One being his facade

Now, him moving in with the owner of the bar leads me to assume this influenced the fact that Dazai wanted Ango, Oda & himself to meet at the same bar frequently.

Ōba let down his facade in front of Takeichi, who I want to associate with Oda, seeing as how they seemed to know eachother on a level most others in the mafia didn’t & seeing as how Oda played a big part in helping him cope with his existential crisis & is ultimately the reason for Dazai leaving the mafia

On the topic of associating characters in the show with characters in the authors novel, I associate Ango with Hiroki bc when Ango was around after Oda passed away, he seemed to be more on edge? He not only pulled a gun on this guy, but also put him in a car accident. Hiroki caused Ōba to put himself into destructive habits, while Ango causes Dazai to revert back to his mafia self.

Chapter 2 correlation, Dazai doesn’t commit sexually devious acts although I would enjoy that, but he does ask women to commit a double suicide with him. Dazai doesn’t care how he & the pretty lady go, he just wants to die with them, but in the novel Ōba tried to drown himself and Dazai is caught twice trying to do the same thing.

I think chapter 3 is Dazai leaving the mafia & going into hiding to lay low before joining the ADA. The ‘mental instituion’ is him coming to terms that he doesn’t want to be in the mafia anymore & him moving to an isolated place is him reflecting on himself with not only Odas death, but his life. I think Ōba becoming a cartoonist was Dazai joining the ADA, both of them trying to make a better life for themselves.

What I think is interesting is that what caused Ōba to think about his wife being sexually assaulted & distancing himself from her was when he & Hiroki were talking about a book. A book called Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevsky. Maybe this could be a contributing factor as to why Dazai & Dostoyevsky dont get along?

Now this part is just for kicks, and I hope this doesn’t happen, but shortly after part 3 was written and published Osamu the author took his life, and many think the book was his will, seeing as how the book’ No Longer Human’ was written with autobiographcal factors such as first person & how suicide was a common occurrence in not only the authors life, but in his literary works. Maybe Dazai really will kill himself?? Lets hope not

-McCree

#admin mccree #dazai osamu #osamu dazai

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gedwimora · 4 years

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Reposting this instead of just reblogging this from Regulus’ main bc it’s Very Long and I originally made the choice to not cut it because of its importance, which was fine for his main but on here it’s a bit much imo. So naturally I’ve had to repost in order to cut.

Something that’s very important to me and I don’t budge on is Regulus’s continued attachment to his family and connections in the elitist pureblood society. There’s a few reasons for this, which I’ll go into here.

1. Life is Messy

Did Regulus grow thanks to his exposure to the darkest parts of his community, the reality behind their beliefs and his views become less bigoted over time? Yes. But the fact he no longer views muggleborns as filth doesn’t eradicate a lifetime of indoctrination, a need for human connection, a justified fear of rejection, still loving your family even when they’re awful, or utterly pragmatic needs like business partnerships. He’s not Sirius or Andromeda, for Regulus utterly removing himself from the society they were raised in is not an option. Life is messy and sometimes you’re the liberal-ish gay cousin at christmas dinner trying to fend off war flashbacks because your baby cousin just said the word “lake”.

Regulus – like Draco – became a Death Eater at 16 and in canon died at 18. By the end of the second war Regulus is 36. He saw and did terrible things at an incredibly young age, then had to totally restructure his whole world view alone with no one to really talk to about it and rebuild his entire life– all while dealing with the physical, psychological and social consequences of his actions. While it doesn’t take him long at all to mellow out, it does take him longer to defrag his ideology and figure out what the hell he does believe now and how to express those new beliefs accurately. Basically the man’s a mess and that’s really to be expected.

2. Portraying the Spectrum

I also feel it’s very important to have people who fall more on the “Bad Side” who are well, not so bad. While on paper these topics are very black and white in reality they’re not always so clean cut. Something I’ve always hated about Harry Potter is that until about the last 2 books there’s basically not a single “Good” Slytherin even mentioned let alone seen. Yes there are people like Severus who are there from the start, but he’s not revealed to be a “Good Slytherin” until the very end, the rest of the time he’s portrayed as one of the worst ones. This always just pissed me off so much, it’s just such an unnecessary and trite demonization of a whole group– worse, a group of children. Yes it’s the most likely place for the Dracos of the world to end up, but that doesn’t mean every single child who was ever sorted into it is a Death Eater in the making. But we never see those Slytherins and it really, really pisses me off.

Regulus is not a “Good Person” in the sense he was always secretly good and eventually ~~broke free of the evil mind control and is now Pure again~~. I hesitate to even call him a good person honestly, even though his last and only canon acts speak to someone who is unwavering good and self-sacrificing. In his youth he genuinely believed in some truly terrible things but he had his own inherit limits and morals he could not sacrifice even for his family and their beliefs. That’s important, not everyone on that side is a Bellatrix, and while being less awful than Bellatrix doesn’t exactly earn you a medal it does speak to the spectrum. He’s not the best, but he’s definitely not the worst.

By the time the first war is over Regulus is on a knife’s edge at the near perfect center of the spectrum between acceptance and bigotry. He’s proof that a Slytherin coming from the most stereotypical, toxic pureblood upbringing with all the classic Slytherin traits can still buck a lot of the script and actually manage to not be a complete bastard.

3. Never Burn Bridges You Could Still Use

In true Slytherin fashion, we come to a manipulative, Game of Thrones-y reason. This is one of the key reasons for him IC and also one of the things I think can be difficult for people to get or swallow. Where most people likely feel that the only correct option would be to pull a Sirius and disown the family– that they themselves could never stomach putting up with all the heinous things these pureblood types say and cannot imagine someone who doesn’t believe it doing just that for any reason– the fact is that’s not always the right move, and that there are people who can do it just fine.

Regulus isn’t a fool. He’s the well-educated, intelligent son of a rich, prominent pureblood family with lots of connections all over the place in the wizarding community who got sorted into the “win or die trying” house. Publicly renouncing half or more of those connections is frankly a terrible idea for him to do on so many levels. He loses a LOT of power, access and leverage he could actually use to do things that could actually be a boon in the long run. While unlike Severus he wasn’t –and likely doesn’t become a spy ( though that is up for debate )– those connections could be vital for his continued survival and provide a means of keeping tabs on enemies.

Why on earth would he run around making enemies of everyone he could still use? How does that help anyone? Especially when he’s already mastered the art of placating and maneuvering these types of people.

4. Love, Sentimentality and Loyalty are just as Powerful Weaknesses as Strengths

Something we actually get from canon is that Regulus is an unquestionably loving, loyal and compassionate person. When he has Kreacher take him to the cave he drinks the potion, he sacrifices himself. This is not something someone who is not at their core compassionate, empathetic and loving does. He saw the effects the potion had on Kreacher, he heard what he had gone through, and when the time came he refused to make the elf go through that again.

“And he order– Kreacher to leave– without him. And he told Kreacher – to go home– and never to tell my Mistress– what he had done– but to destroy– the first locket. And he drank– all the potion– and Kreacher swapped the lockets– and watched … as Master Regulus … was dragged beneath the water … and …”

“[…] that Regulus changed his mind … but he doesn’t seem to have explained that to Kreacher, does he? And I think I know why. Kreacher and Regulus’s family were all safest if they kept to the old pure-blood line. Regulus was trying to protect them all.” “[…] I’ve said all along that wizards would pay for how they treat house-elves. Well, Voldemort did … and so did Sirius.” […] I do not think Sirius ever saw Kreacher as a being with feelings as acute as a human’s …

This core of kindness and empathy is both what ended up causing him to defect and also what keeps him tied to what family and friends he has left. It’s hard, especially when you are so loyal and loving to cut out people who you’ve known your whole life, who you love and love you back. Bellatrix is a monster she’s easy to cut out but Narcissa? How could he really cut ties with one of his only living relatives, who’s likely his favorite cousin? Who is herself a fiercely loving and loyal woman? It would take a lot for him to finally cut ties with his loved ones still in the purist community and it’s frankly one of his greatest failings.

5. No One likes a Former Death Eater

The cruel fact of the matter is that regardless of your reformation most people will not accept or acknowledge it and treat you like you are still a monster. Regulus could try – and does try– to integrate more with the mainstream, but it’ll always be met with mixed success at best because he was a Death Eater. Unless he moved to a different country, it’d be difficult to really start over again completely with any real solid success. The majority of the wizarding world socially ostracizes him while still engaging with him on a business and political level because of his status. The only people who still want to have a cuppa with him are all in the same boat as him, bigots or purist sympathizers.

He’s human, and however much he’d like to gripe about people and wanting to be left alone forever to become a hermit he craves interaction, especially since he himself is an intensely social extroverted person. If he cuts these people out of his life he basically has no one to talk to anymore and he’s left totally isolated, which would frankly lead to much worse and dangerous places for him.

6. Someone here has to be the Voice of Reason

Having literally no one in that community who isn’t a total nightmare is asking for trouble. Not only because it allows the toxicity to stew and intensify unchecked but it also means no one is there to try and help the younger generations break free of the cycle. If he just left like Andromeda and Sirius he’s just making it worse by removing a more moderate voice from the communal discussion. It’s not even about trying to show them the error of their ways, that’s in fact a terrible way to go about things with people like this. It’s about diluting the toxic ideology, providing the less dangerous paths and laying out the framework that can act as the basis for someone else’s journey out of the quagmire.

For example, when looking at cults and hate groups, the worst way to reach those people is by trying to point out everything wrong and arguing with them, it only entrenches them more. You make more progress by staying close and quietly slipping in the information and tools they need to work things out themselves. Telling someone they’re in a destructive cult will get you nothing, but telling them about this book you read about some terrible cult and all the signs of one you learned from it and isn’t that just wild? These people are bad news huh? Here give it a read yourself– Is far more effective in the long run.

By being there he acts as a moderate, neutral adult figure who the children can both model and look to for support. He’s much safer than most of their families and willing to be the sounding board for their own debates and give advice from a place of having literally been right where they are now. He can act as a mid-point between the extremely insular and toxic pureblood community, the mainstream wizarding world, and thanks to his time in hiding, the muggle world for purebloods looking to escape or just broaden themselves.

#headcanon / regulus black.

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