#bc i don't trust therapists | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anti-ao3 · 4 months

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when people say "narcissist" i'm always like, "self-centered", "egotistical", "vain", "self-absorbed", et cetera are right there, and that's what you actually mean. use those. but using "narcissist" lets people pathologize and feel intellectual about things 🙄

i used to watch a youtuber who had spoken before about the demonization of various mental disorders, but then she used the phrase "narcissistic abuse" and i made a very polite comment, assuming the best, and was like "hey that's a really harmful phrase to use, especially when what you're describing has an actual correct term, emotional / psychological abuse, you wouldn't call something 'anxiety abuse' or 'autism abuse', would you?" and she then doubled down and said "well sometimes mental health professionals use it so it can't be ableist". as if no one in the history of psychiatry was ever ableist like?

ironic because she had also made multiple videos where she discussed people who used dated or incorrect language, were politely corrected by a fan, and then doubled down instead of examining themselves. and here she was doing the same thing :-/

Wow, that's very hypocritical of her. You can't call out ableist language and stigma, and then use a very ableist term. Worst part is, she didn't even apologize or recognize her mistake. Mental health professionals can be ableist, indeed.

I think that's what pisses me off the most about the stigma around NPD, even "progressive" people use narcissists as scapegoats. And very few mental health professionals DON'T demonize narcissists. Literally every time there's a discussion about abuse, people always bring up "narcissistic abuse". And it's like you said, they act like they're intellectual, "oh have you heard about narcissistic abuse?", and they pretend they know what they're talking about because they read it somewhere. And apparently everyone forgets that NPD, just like other Cluster B disorders, tend to develop due to childhood trauma.

I remember going to a partial hospitalization program, where they said "oh no judgment here, everyone is welcome". But then people were demonizing narcissists. I remember only ONE therapist there pointing out "hey you know NPD is a personality disorder and no one is evil for having it, right". But I'm pretty sure that was forgotten.

I may not have NPD, but I deeply sympathize with everyone who has it. We really need more people and spaces who treat NPD right, considering all the misinformation online (ESPECIALLY on TikTok).

#asks #ableism tw #the sad part is that i've never met someone with npd in real life #maybe they haven't been diagnosed yet #or maybe they don't talk about their diagnosis #bc of all the stigma around it #but yeah like #in this partial hospitalization thing #i wondered 'man what if there WAS a narcissist here?'#imagine them having to hear all that bullcrap #anyway yeah #i don't trust youtube therapists anymore lmao #ranting #ranting in tags

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queerstudiesnatural · 8 months

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i'm also losing an alarming amount of hair, it's falling out by the handful 😬

#i can't go see my doctor bc i didn't do any of the things she prescribed the last time i was there #ie go see a chiropractor for my back #and get au autism assessment #i went halfway through the autism assessment and then never booked another appointment bc i didn't trust the therapist i went to #and i never went to see the chiropractor bc i don't like people touching me #but anyway yeah idk what to do #i'm pretty sure it's just fatigue and i need to sleep #but that would mean somehow beating my insomnia #and also no more or fewer movie nights :(#ughhhhh why can't everything just be easy

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dorkylittleweirdo · 1 year

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you know what maybe i am the problem but at least i don’t get hurt or stabbed in the back anymore bc i’m the only person i rely on so what about it

#@ my therapist #we were talking about why i don't have friends lmao #i said it's the trust issues and she says it's bc i'm selfish #like girl if trying to protect myself is selfish then yeah i'm fucking selfish #yeah i'm gonna act in my own self interest and not befriend someone who's giving me bad vibes #also i don't go places where i would make friends #i don't have in person classes #i don't go out places #where am i supposed to find people with common interests to vibe with #like girl i do not have the time to be joining clubs #yes that's on me #but also i don't care for the most part #is it lonely? yes #do i really wanna do anything about it? kinda but not enough to actually do it #i try to make friends i just don't click with most people or like them enough to wanna hang out outside of wherever i met them #i have three friends irl and two of them are like just barely so. it be like that

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werewolf4vampire · 1 year

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why did my therapy place suddenly hit me with brand new questionare to fill out (Insisting i do it before the appt or else it would eat into appt time soo... a threat?) and it's like weirdly really invasive??

#it has questions about your assigned sex and gender identity and sexuality #and then even beyond the sexuality question it has one that's like. are you attracted to males? females? males but mostly females?#females but mostly males? both equally? and i'm like HUH????#it's also through a Particular conservative college edu. website so. i don't trust that #i emailed my therapist about it and i expect him to say i don't need to fill it out #i also expressed concern bc of the fucking. leak of trans ppl's medical information #darryl speaks

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lesenbyan · 11 months

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Anyway I finished Our Body Keeps The Score today and I am convinced I need 1) massage therapy 2) EDRM and 3) a dom more than I already was

#personal;#god i just need someone or something to force me to be vulnerable bc i can't do it #and i've been punished enough for being vulnerable that i don't even know where to start when i don't trust people #hhhnnnngggg #good book! don't recommend listening to it at work. you will start thinking about your own trauma and imagining the tactics #and how shit would be different if your therapists cared half as much as he presents himself as caring #i'm tired and i hurt and i'm tired of thinking of my dad

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sensazioneultra · 2 years

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#having bpd is all fun and games until...#well no it's never fun and games #but my point was #i truly truly truly hate not being able to believe ppl care about me #like you can tell me 3000 times i won't believe you i can barely believe my mum loves me (she does i'm like mostly sure of it)#(at least when it's not a super bad day or when she doesn't forget my bday)#anyway like... idk. i just don't get why anyone would care about me #i don't even care about me #yeah it's a very bad self loathing time lately like worse than usual #and i try telling myself what i feel isn't a reflection of reality #but god!!!!! i don't have a therapist telling me that over n over n over i haven't had one for so long #and me telling myself really doesn't work #i mock myself when i tell myself things like 'maybe they don't hate you?'#i TRY not to like genuinely. i tell myself to STOP BEING MEAN #but i just get bombarded with mean (to myself) thoughts all day so it's really hard to fight them all #i barely fight 6% of them #sorry idk where i'm going w this i rly need therapy but i don't trust therapists and the likes anymore so . mh #it's weird cause i don't feel ppl around me understand my bpd n all related issues #and yeah i don't talk abt it so okay my fault but it's also #idk i'm scared to talk abt it bc i sound insane. i am insane. and the only person who i can confide my insane thoughts to is myself #everyone else would just hate me judge me be disgusted be repulsed find me weird etc etc #i used to have more friends w bpd btw #it never ended too well LMAOOOO but i do sometimes miss it #cause while yeah we were fucked up n i was honesty doing terribly and now i'm better (doesn't feel like it rn but #i am)#i kinda felt more... free to be myself including the bad and the ugly? does that make sense #it's actually insane how much i repress nowadays like especially irl but not only.. i just PUSH PUSH PUSH everything down so ppl don't see #just how badly my mind works i pretenddddd aaaaall day long it's exhausting #you know i just... kinda wanna scream and spill my guts figurative and literally sometimes. just. let it all out #until i am but a shell an empty container and i can maybe be at peace

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l-e-g-i-o-n-losh · 2 years

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Escapism isnt enough i need to exist unmonitored for even a minute

#the absolute lack of privacy & personal space and neccesity to perform personhood on demand 24/7 is really getting to me #songs that the hyades shall sing #dad has NO comprehension of the actual impact of his stupid asshole need for me to be on-call assistant all the time #and he's right! its a necessary ask bc of how much we need to catch up on & bc we don't have any help but each other!#but its driving me insane and he think parenting means hes morally obligated to nitpick at all kinds of petty bullshit on top of it and i #cant take a minute to breathe without it being a federal fucking issue and i just want to scream and cry #even my lesiure is monitored! we watch tv Together so he decides what and when and always watches me out of the corner of his eye #i never want to share anything i care about because it'll either be dismissed as an annoying distraction or it'll become His thing For Us #but the things i dont share i just dont get at all #he'll get me Stuff like my art supplies but when do i have time to Actually work on art without him over my shoulder?#he says plenty of supportive stuff but he also LIES like ALL THE TIME. how the HELL am i supposed to trust him? how dare he ask me to?#he'll admit when he's done wrong or been unfair sometimes but he won't STOP or do BETTER he'll just say he's allowed to be unfair. wtf #i wanna say go to THERAPY asshole but its not like his last therapist actually helped. or like its ever worked for me.

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birbtails · 24 days

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#gods #im .. in trouble this semester #which sucks bc i was doing so much better last semester #i stopped going to therapy!!#which i think i knew at the time was a Problem #but my therapist suggested it and i didn't want to but i couldn't come up with a better reason than im worried ill nosedive next semester #to be fair to me while i was feeling so much better i knew i wasnt .. stable i guess?#in her defense i can't tell anyone the whole truth even if my life was on the line #and by cant i mean some combination of wont dont want to and its instinctive #but the problem is im failing one of my classes and im at least a little bit suicidal and i havent told anyone really and gods i feel lonely #(and by a little bit suicidal i mean thinking of ways to kill myself 2 days ago. im feeling better now but i don't trust it)#(by feeling better i mean im not Actively thinking of methods but it definitely crosses my mind as a Possibility)#(although i guess its a bit less i want to die and a bit more i want someone to find me before i die and help me)#so anyways this semester might be replacing 10th grade as the worst year of my life #im just.. so tired #i don't want to keep living like this #and im sucking it up and making myself do better but i Hate this #and ive got to think about summer plans bc i don't want to go back to my parents house but i also Really want to bc i can see my brother and #maybe i can see my friends(?) and maybe if i tell my parents everything that's been going on theyll take care of me?#but i Really want to stay here bc i always regret going home and bc ive gotten used to living on my own and i really like all the freedom it #gives me?? but i need to get an internship or a job or something if i want to stay here but its So Late and now that im thinking about it im #worried that ill be so isolated here that ill feel worse? but if i get a therapist here then maybe itll be okay??#i don't know #and im almost done with my junior year and i don't know what i want to do with my future and #i just never thought id get this far yknow? i honestly thought i wasnt going to make it to 18 or college and now im almost 21 and so close #to graduating?? and i don't know how to face the rest of my life #im just tired and stressed and depressed #i just want a hug and a friend that i can tell everything to #ne ways im just tired and whiny and i need to suck it up and get groceries and do my hw

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dokyeomini · 1 year

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tbh. at this point idk what my relationship with therapy is. it's kinda helpful atm bc i have very clear goals. but im questioning everything all the time. i don't think therapy will help me with my existential crisis.

#and some things that im made to look at more deeply ... i don't think i want to #or i don't want to change the way i interact with the world bc i thing it's still important #to have someone who k6s suspicious of strangers yk agkkdjl #as if the only way to be content is to be trusting.... i don't think so #or like assume everyone i meet is gonna be nice #depends on the context ofc #and it's different for people im close to #and what im confused by is ... why is pessimism considered a bad thing?#i mean sure there should be balance right #maybe i didn't quite understand what my therapist meant #but there was like a section in the questionnaire where i scored high on pessimism #and like .. what's wrong wo #with that #maybe if there was a section on optimism i would balance ir out #i hate questionnaires #my answers depend on my mood and my thoughts between the questions so #my answers would vary a lot

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mypoisonedvine · 9 months

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another idea for dr crane but i'm afraid it might be too similar to thoughtless so please just ignore if it is!!: from personal experience, being a patient of his who is seeing him bc of sexual trauma. fear of penetration due to previous sexual assault. and ofc he's all about exposure therapy. and you wanna trust him so so bad bc he wants what's best for you, he's encouraging you ("you deserve to embrace your sexuality, you get past this one barrier and you're free"), but you start to fight back. and he takes personal offense bc he's your doctor, why don't you trust his expertise? but then it starts to feel good~

idk i picture reader trying with a toy in front of him but he gets impatient sees she's struggling with going that extra step further so he takes control either with the toy or himself.

warnings: not actually that dark (I mean, it is cause he's her therapist lol but he's not nonconning her) but still manipulation, slightly medical kink?, praise kink

(oops this turned out pretty long how did that happen? lmao)

"Did you try what we discussed last week?" he asked, and you pressed your knees together as you looked down and shook your head. "Really? You seemed very positive about it before."

"I was," you admitted. "It seemed really easy-- just sort of training myself, you know. But then I got home and... I guess it was a little overwhelming."

"Hm," he said, and you started to feel guilty for disappointing him. "That's interesting-- it seems like you were more comfortable here than at home. I figured it would be the other way around."

"Yeah, that would make more sense, I guess," you shrugged, "but-- I dunno..."

"Do you want to try again?" he wondered.

"I do," you admitted, "but I'm nervous that I'll start panicking again..."

"Then why don't you try here?"

You tensed up at just the suggestion; "Wouldn't that be... I mean, isn't that...?"

"I'm a medical doctor," he reminded you with a chuckle, "I've seen much worse. This is simply part of your treatment. I want you to get better."

You took a deep breath, nodding. "Okay," you decided. "Okay, I can try it."

"Great," he smiled, uncrossing his legs and resetting his clipboard in his lap. "We agreed before that you'd be more comfortable with your fingers than silicone dilators, is that still--?"

"Yes," you interrupted, "definitely. Feels too... clinical, otherwise."

He nodded, and there was a brief silence.

"So, do I just... start?"

"I'd like you to try," he said gently.

You noticed that his gaze never broke away from you, but you looked down into your lap as you started to slowly spread your legs. "So I just.. reach under my dress?"

"That should be fine," he encouraged. "There's nothing to be afraid of-- this is a safe space."

You nodded in agreement, pulling up your dress enough to reach into your panties. Sighing, you tried not to let nerves get the better of you as you pushed your lips apart with your fingers. But still, the anxiety was bubbling up, and you pressed the tip of your finger to your hole only to feel resistance alongside your distress. "I-- I don't think I can--"

"It's alright," he soothed, "start with the outside first-- stimulate your clitoris."

You choked on a laugh, still too nervous to look at him. "You really are a medical doctor..."

"What, too formal?" he chuckled. "Alright... rub your clit."

That shocked you even more than the clinical language; but it made you pulse inside, too. "O-okay..."

You pressed your fingers against the bud, trying to rub it, but it didn't really feel like anything-- like rubbing your elbow or something. Jonathan corrected you right away: "Not so hard," he said, "start gently."

"Sorry," you breathed, shutting your eyes.

"No-- it's fine," he assured, "I just want to help."

He was right, though; when you lessened the pressure and gently rubbed in circles, it started to feel good-- slowly, but surely. When your next breath came out shaky, you heard him hum with satisfaction.

"Is that better?" he asked.

"Yes," you answered, but you didn't mean for it to be a moan.

"I think you're ready," he informed you-- and something about his voice, it was lower than before, it was different... it was making you wet.

"Ready... for what?" you whispered, daring to open your eyes and see the darkness in his expression as he watched you.

"Ready to fuck yourself with your fingers."

"Oh," you sighed, feeling like you'd been punched in the gut-- in the best possible way. "Okay..."

"Just one to start," he encouraged, "put a finger inside yourself, nice and slow."

You sighed as you pressed the finger up to your hole again, smiling as you realized it was more open-- and wet-- than before. You gently pressed in further, finding some pressure but pushing through it until you were knuckle deep in yourself. You smiled happily; "I did it," you breathed, "oh my god, I-- I never thought I'd--"

"Don't stop," he cooed, "move it back and forth. If you do well enough, you can add a second finger."

You figured he meant it that you would be able to add a second finger, but it almost sounded like a bargain, like a reward. Do what I say and I'll let you add a second, or something. Surely that wasn't what he meant.

"A little faster," he encouraged as you pumped the finger. "That's it, very good."

You whimpered, biting down on your lip to hide your moan. You wanted him to say that again, to tell you that you were doing this correctly.

"Add the second now," he instructed, his own voice suddenly sounding a little hoarse and needy. "Stretch yourself out-- and tell me how it feels."

"It feels good," you panted as you started to add your second finger, whining at the stretch. "Fuck, I-- will they both fit?"

He chuckled a little-- a low, rough sound-- and promised you: "Yes, they'll fit. You can take a lot more than two fingers, with some patience."

You hadn't even imagined being able to do more than this-- for years, you hadn't been able to put anything inside you, and now here you were... fingering yourself in front of your therapist. "How much more?" you wondered, hardly imagining how it could be possible.

There was a long, long pause; you worried he hadn't heard you. Looking at him again, you found him watching with a tight jaw.

"How much more can I take, Dr. Crane?" you asked again.

"You can take anything I give you," he answered tensely.

A shiver ran up your spine; "F-fuck," you whimpered, and your walls pulsed around your fingers.

"You're going to come, aren't you?" he noticed, and you nodded. "Good."

You gasped.

"Very good," he egged you on, seeing the effect it had on you; your head tilted back as you pushed your fingers into yourself faster. "You're doing very well for me-- now I just need to see you come. I just need you to make yourself come."

"Yes, yes," you chanted, hips rocking, moans growing louder. "It feels good-- fuck, Doctor, I--"

"I know," he soothed, "just let it happen. Keep going. Come for me."

It hit you all at once, a heavy and numbing feeling that left you shaking on his couch; he purred out his praises, telling you how good you were doing, and it only made the feeling stronger.

When you exhausted yourself, you stilled; there was a moment of silence, just your panting filling the air, until you found the strength to meet his gaze again. He was smiling at you sweetly, looking oddly similar to how he always did at the end of a session. "That was incredible progress," he said proudly. "You should be very impressed with yourself."

You sighed as you nervously pulled your fingers out of yourself. "I-- do you have a tissue I can wipe these with?" you asked nervously.

"No need," he said, "you should taste it."

"Wh-what?" you choked out, your face even warmer than before.

"Just taste it-- I think you'll like it," he encouraged.

Though you hesitated for a second, you brought your wet fingers to your lips and gently licked off some of the sticky substance left behind.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"It's sort of strange," you admitted.

"It's an acquired taste," he shrugged, making your heart pound as you realized just from the look in his eyes that this was absolutely a taste he'd acquired... then again, there must have been a reason that he knew even better than you how to touch yourself and make you come.

Then, it was impossible not to imagine what he's like when he does this off the clock-- the way he touches and pleasures the women he takes to bed. You imagined him with his fingers inside lace panties, whispering in her ear about how good she was being for him; you imagined him pushing two inside and promising to give her more; you imagined him making her come, over and over, until he's satisfied and brings those soaked fingers to his lips and calling her delicious.

And even though you tried not to picture who that woman would be, you couldn't help but wonder if he'd like a woman like you... if you were the type he'd do that to, if you weren't his patient.

"Thank you," you blurted out. "I never thought I'd be able to... thank you. It's been a long time since I was able to feel that."

He nodded. "Thank you for trusting me," he replied. Glancing at the clock, he sighed a little through a polite smile: "Oh, look at that, we're out of time for today. This has been a really excellent session."

"Yeah," you agreed as you both stood up, "definitely."

"And next week, we can discuss the next steps in your recovery."

You raised your eyebrows when you heard that, already almost halfway out of the office. "Next steps?" you noticed.

"Yes," he agreed, "you made great progress, but there's still so much more for you to learn."

#jonathan crane fic #jonathan crane smut #jonathan crane x reader #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy smut #scarecrow x reader

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lovebugism · 1 year

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☄. *. ⋆ ┄ Feel Good

summary: you don't come. ever. well... not until steve harrington comes along. pairing: steve harrington / f!reader warnings: the longest headcanon ever, talks of shitty boyfriends and masturbation, pure smut 18+ mdni! a/n: if you saw this before the repost... no you didn't. and to the anon that requested this: i hope you like it!

( MASTERLIST )

you don't come

this is not an exaggeration

it's purely a statement of fact

because you’ve never ever had an orgasm

not one

not with your fingers, not with a toy, not with a partner, not ever

you get pretty close sometimes

if you're in the right mindset and you have enough time (and a partner who isn't totally focused on their own pleasure

you can actually get really, really close

it’s kinda like climbing a steep mountain and nearly reaching the top

or seeing a glimmer light at the end of the dark tunnel

it always ends the same way, though

you fall from the peak. darkness swallows you whole. the feeling of bliss swells and then disappears entirely.

some of your partners have come up with their own theories

one said you internalized your religious upbringing and turn away from pleasure without thinking

another insisted that it wasn’t their fault they couldn’t make you come because your clit was just too small

the last one told you that you just “needed to love yourself more”

it was exhausting, quite honestly

your partners became your therapist, trying to pry into your mind and diagnose you accordingly

you were an experiment to them

they tried every position and motion to try and get you there, though sometimes it felt like they were only doing it because it felt good for them

some didn’t bother trying at all

they got frustrated with you, called you broken, and left to find someone “normal”

and it fucking sucked

so somewhere down the line, you just started faking it

because that was easier than having those uncomfortable conversations and waiting until they inevitably left you

that ultimately led to you avoiding relationships all together

and then you met steve

and you liked steve

screw that, you liked liked steve

he wasn’t like all the rest of the partners that fucked you over

and for the first time in a long time, you had a really good feeling about the whole thing

but you were terrified of screwing it up

and you were also terrified of lying to him

you were able to avoid it for the most part

that is, until he was about to go down on you for the first time

he’s got you on your back with his head between your legs

you tense when he presses a kiss to your thigh

“you okay?”

“i don’t come” you blurt

“…what?”

“i don’t know why. i’ve just never been able to. and it’s not because of you, okay? so i don’t want you to think you’re doing something wrong or that i don’t want to do this, because holy shit i wanna do this so bad—”

and you’re just rambling

mostly because you feel like if you keep talking, it’ll keep him from saying something you don’t wanna hear

steve just nods and shoots you a small smile from between your legs

“that’s ok :)”

and you breathe out the biggest sigh of relief

because no one’s ever not made a huge deal about it

“can i still make you feel good?”

you just nod down at him bc you don’t trust your voice to say something intelligible

he gives you head that night and he’s good

he’s great actually

but you don’t come

the sex is even better

he makes an effort to find ways that’ll make it feel better for you

he’ll put pillows beneath your hips and push your legs up towards your chest when he’s on top of you

he’ll tell you all the ways to position yourself when you’re on top of him

with one leg bent and your foot flat on the bed so he’s hitting your sweet spot every time he drills into you

and it’s never about him

it never feels like he’s doing crazy positions to exploit you under the guise of “blowing your mind”

most guys only wanted to get you off so that they could feel like some kind of sex god

but steve genuinely wants you to feel good

and he’s so willing to learn your body to help you feel good

one time he sat himself behind you with his chin hooked over your shoulder

“show me how you do it” he said to you

and you did

but it didn't feel like you were some experiment to him either

it was so fucking hot

he made a show out of it, asking you to tell him everything you were doing to yourself and how it felt

“does that feel good?”

“it feels so good—” you interrupt yourself as your mouth falls open in a silent moan and your legs start to tense up

“oh that’s the spot, huh?”

and he likes to learn about all the times you’ve gotten the closest

even though to you it’s mortifying

you’re red in the face the entire time you tell him the only time you ever thought you might actually come was with the shower head

you get embarrassed and hide your face in his shoulder

he’s just like “no, it’s sexy! we can try that if you want?”

but you’re scared that might be a little too exposing and that there would be way too much pressure on you

as always, he’s the most understanding person on the planet

“that’s okay. we don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna do. ever.”

and he makes you feel so safe and cared for

even when you get defeated

because both of you try so hard but you just can’t get there

and after he’s spent an hour between your legs switching between his fingers and his mouth

you start crying out of pure and utter frustration

“steve stop. just stop. there’s no point. let’s just quit.”

and obv when you tell him to stop he’s gonna stop

but he can tell how sad you are when your back is to him and you're putting your clothes back on

and he tries not to smile when you get all twisted in your bra bc you’re so moody that you don’t put it on the right way

“it’s okay baby, we can keep trying—”

“no, steve, it’s not okay! i just don’t get why i can’t be like normal people!”

“there’s nothing wrong with you, okay? some girls just have a harder time than others. it’s okay to come less than other people”

“less?” you scoff “how about never?”

and he’s still patient with you

even while you’re ranting and getting all angry at him and yourself

“i don’t even know why you still try! it’s never gonna happen, okay? ever. you get that, right? there’s no point in trying. you should just find someone else—”

that’s when he stops you

“okay. that’s enough.”

he walks to you where you’re standing in nothing but your bra and underwear and your jeans that you shoved on but didn't button before you started ranting

“it doesn’t matter if you come or not— well, it does, but that’s not what this is about, okay? it doesn’t have to be about having an orgasm. when i’m with you, it doesn’t feel like i’m trying to accomplish something. it’s just about two people who love each other, spending time together, and feeling good”

“…you love me?”

“…was that not obvious?”

the two of you spend the rest of the night cuddling after that

and he’s adamant about not making it about sex

though he keeps having to apologize for his boner pressing into your back

a few days later he surprises you with a present, all wrapped up in with a pretty bow on top

“is it christmas?” you joke at the reindeer patterned wrapping paper

“sorry. that’s all i could find at the house.”

and it’s this huge fuck off vibrator that you know must’ve costed a fortune

you’re totally flustered when you open it and you have no idea what to do with yourself

but he’s so smiley and tells you that he wants to try it with you

and it’s really fucking good

it makes the already amazing sex that much better

you’re on your sides with him pressed against your back

and he holds it against your clit while he fucks you from behind

(he’s having an even better time too because he can feel the vibrations of it from inside of you)

you get the closest you’ve ever been like that

he watches intently when you press your face into your pillow

“are you close?”

you nod wordlessly

“i think… fuck— i think i might come”

and he starts fucking you harder, finding your spot and hitting it over and over again with the vibe still pressed attentively to your clit

a cry rises in your throat and escapes your mouth

and right when you think you might actually have your first orgasm

it fucking goes away

“fuck!”

steve can tell it’s not an exclamation of pleasure, but one of anger

he asks if you wanna keep going

you tell him he can until he comes but that you’re not gonna get there

like a doctor, he prescribes masturbation

and you spend exactly one week using the vibrator by yourself and trying to use it different ways that get you closer and closer

you’re on your back with it pressed into your opening while fiercely rubbing at your clit

and you feel yourself getting closer and closer and closer

it builds in an achingly familiar way

but when the feeling usually starts to ebb, it keeps going

the pleasure crescendos, numbs, and then explodes

having the house to yourself, you don’t bother holding back the noises, the almost painful sounding moans, as they spill from your mouth

the first thing you do when your senses return to you, is call steve

even though it’s 2 a.m.

and when he answers, he’s all groggy with sleep but he’s immediately ecstatic for you

he’s over at your place in ten minutes tops after your promise of recreating it for him

and you’re just absolutely gushing about it and thanking him a ton

because he’s the one who got you the vibrator after all

he wants you to tell him everything so you do

you tell him how you were laying and what you where thinking about

*cough cough* him

and what your fingers were doing and how the real trick was putting the vibe partly inside of you

and you don’t think about how it might make him insecure until the words are spilling from your mouth

because you’ve known guys in the past who get intimidated by dildos and vibrators out of fear that they could never compete with them

steve does express a little bit of that insecurity

he tries to cover it up by joking about how much bigger the toy is than his dick and how pretty soon he’ll be replaced altogether

and he’s laughing but you can tell it isn’t genuine because it doesn’t reach his eyes

so you tell him that you love every single part of him including his dick and that him ‘getting replaced’ is never happening in a million, billion years

when you start trying to get yourself to come again you make sure he’s involved too

both of you are kneeling on your bed and you’re gripping the headboard while he’s fucking into you from behind

one hand is clutching yours and the other is rubbing at your clit

you’ve got the vibrator pressed where you and steve meet

and you can feel him all over you

he’s mouthing at your neck and shoulder

and using his free hand to hold you and tease your nipples

you feel the pleasure start to build and your face scrunches up while you moan

and steve talks you all the way through it

“there you go. you got it— no, don’t tense up, baby, just let it happen... uh-huh, there it is. come for me, baby. come for me.”

and you do

catastrophically so

you tense so hard it almost hurts and you’re shaking like a leaf in his hold

the pleasure is numbing at first before hitting you like a fuck freight train

and you’d be embarrassed about the noises you were making if it didn’t feel so damn good and steve wasn’t praising you the entire way through

“there you go, baby. feels good, huh? you’re so— fuck, you’re getting so tight around me. can barely… holy shit… i can barely fucking move—”

you’re laughing in pure bliss when you feel him coming inside of you

he presses his weight against you and sprinkles wet kisses to your neck, humming praises onto your skin

when you come down and collect your bearings you confess to him, still caught in the post-sex haze, “it didn’t… it didn’t feel like that before…”

“no?”

“uh-uh. felt, like, a thousand times fucking better… 'cause you were here”

and he gets all sweet and blushy, saying he didn’t really do much

but you tell him that it was all him and that he helped you a ton

that he always helps you

“you’re the best sex i’ve ever had steve harrington, orgasm or not”

and this boy is blushing so hard you can see it in the tips of his ears

both of you are love-drunk and happy and dazed

he spends the rest of the night fucking you into your mattress

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #stranger things imagine #stranger things x reader #steve harrington imagine #stevie hc #published by bug #st headcanons

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jamjaemin · 7 months

Text

𝘿𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨 𝙄 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮'𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙤 𝙖𝙘𝙘𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚 pt2

Pairing:bf!dreamies × gf!reader

Genre:+18 obviously nsfw mdi, , I see you

Summary:here we go again since y'all loved the pt1, dreamies thoughts I think they're accurate bc I'm a sex therapist and whenever I see their faces I know exactly what's going on trust me (this is not a summary anymore XD)

Author’s note: I'll turn some of these thoughts into smuts when I find time bc my college won't let me now.

Now playing: wine pon you slowed | doja cat

- one day, he'll surprise you with a date on a private yatch, after a drink and in the middle of the day, you made your way to the couch and before you knew it, he had his head between your legs. it wasn’t long before you were coming on his face, whimpering his name like a prayer.

Chenle, chenle,ZHONG CHENLE (the amount of times I think about this scenario is insane, in a white sundress looking so gorgeous for him..he want nothing but to eat you out)

- you were staying the night at a motel when you asked him to spank you. at first, he completely refused but after a lot of puppy eyes and pouty lips, then he enjoyed it as much as you did or maybe more.

Mark, Jeno (when they're super turned on they'll make you cry "im giving you what you asked for" is their motto, spank you harder if you don't answer them) Jaemin, Jisung (the exact opposite, they're the type to check on you with every spank, light spanking but if you asked for more they'll do it harder, still check on you tho)

- record you both getting at it to watch at a later date. A lot of hissing, humming and moaning, especially when he’s close.

Heavy on Haechan (he's not the main vocalist for nothing, so vocal in bed istg. when watching them again, The probability of having sex after is 100%)

- he would love to fuck you near a large mirror and tell you how pretty you look taking all of his cock, squeezing every inche of him and cum over and over again until you're can't take it anymore.

Super heavy on Jaemin (praising you all the time, hands touching all of your body with some shoulder kisses, when you get shy he will force you to look at the mirror by holding your jaw and make you see how you're falling apart against him)

- Likes to watch you masturbate, putting his head close and observing intently. Loses his shit if you moan his name while doing so.

Heavy on Renjun, chenle (moaning his name is the green light to help you out, toys, teasing, fingering...all of them while speaking chinese, make you cum hard but not harder than how his cock fills your pussy after) mark, haechan (will masturbate while watching you) jeno, jisung, jaemin (helping each other's masturbate, his fingers playing with your clit and your hand wrapped around his length)

- Very good at memorising how you like things done. What makes you pur and what makes you feral.

Renjun ( the details of your body, kinks, limits, never left his mind)

- When he's drunk the wild side in him shows. Not innocent. Not as gentle as you thought. He love making you stutter, holds your neck steadily, choking you. “You like this, don’t you?! Don’t look away!” It was obvious. He was going to fuck your brains out. He’ll make sure the only word you know is "more".

Jisung (he's a freak and good at hiding it, don't argue with me) Haechan (i added him just bc he have a thing for choking and being choked, he will give you a teasing smile if you do it to him then make you learn your place)

- Maybe you ignored him for fun. You didn’t want to take it far, but his reactions of “not caring” were so hilarious to you. Once he found out you were pranking him, He will ignore your orgasms just like you ignored him.

Heavy on Mark ( ain't the leader for nothing, i can imagine how hot and dominant he gets when he's mad, you would need a wheelchair for a good 2 weeks)

- He would play games, head between your thighs and die to end the game and eat you out, if he won he’ll eat your pussy gently and take his time with it but if he loses he’ll devour it and won't stop even when you beg him.

Haechan (blaming you and saying its all your thighs fault), Jeno, jisung (the special way of celebrating their victory or taking out the anger of defeat)

- The air always hung heavy when he's working out. it's the way his brows furrow in intense concentration or the groans he make as his muscles flex. either way, it’s a big turn on for you and he knows it. “c’mon, I know you want it sweetheart, open up for me,” “princess… you can give me one more, right?” “that’s my girl.”

Na fucking Jaemin, jeno (no explanation needed, i know..you know...we know)

Have a great day/night and ty for reading♡

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lowkeyrobin · 1 month

Note

Platonic Phoebe and Trevor x Gary Grooberson’s teen kid reader and adjusting to being stepsiblings?

OH MY GOD YES BRO RJSKDMSNSN ; I did my best pls bare w this 💀💀💀

SPENGLER SIBLINGS ; stepsiblings

summary ; youre Gary's kid and you have to adjust with two new stepsiblings

warnings ; language

disclaimers ; your mom is nonexistent/Gary adopted you. it's not a topic brought up at all I don't think but you can choose, ik some people don't like kid of ___ reader or ____ sibling reader so beware lol, takes place between afterlife and frozen empire so no spoilers for anyone who hasn't watched gbfe yet, reader can drive/is around Trevor's age

word count ; 675

masterlist

it's so awkward at first

especially since you've never had siblings before so it's like they're teenage roommates

like okay your parents are dating or whatever but like, ew?

except you're living with them, not the other way around

both gary and callie are trying to urge you to interact but it's just not happening

you're not really a ghostbuster either, you aren't smart in the sciences and aren't into the whole ghost thing anyways

you're more into traditional ghosts anyways, not the ones that show up in broad daylight and need to be trapped by proton barriers

it's very rough at first

you connect with phoebe first, as a once in a blue moon experience happened, she wanted to act like a normal 14yo and go get ice cream

Callie couldn't take her because she was busy helping trevor with work stuff and told her to ask you

she was like 🤨 and like... "okay?-"

she asks and you look at her like 🤨😊

you guys go get ice cream and she tells you all about the shit you pass on the way there and back home

you surprisingly end up bonding over the struggle of talking to others like normal people and being well reserved with little to no friends

then comes the bonding over a certain book you both liked

the whole car ride home is oasis on the radio and chatter about this book, and going the longest possible way home because you didn't want this bonding moment to end

you sat in the car after phoebe got out, just sitting in silence

you were kind of in awe yet saddened the moment had ended because you were bonding so well

after that she clearly sees you in a new light and looks to you for your wisdom and clear view of the world when she's wrapped in her own madness and needs untangled

you were the trusting older sibling she needed since trevor never really understood the proper being there for your sister thing

they're proper siblings and whatnot but it's not like they go to each other if it's not to shit talk people

you're like their mediator and therapist sibling

getting through to trevor was much harder

you ended up finding him a job and he was like 🤨😒 when you showed him

"oh- uhm, sorry. I was just trying to be nice" and you quickly scramble away

he's just confused cause like ??? you never talked, he didn't even know how you knew he was looking for a job

he comes into your room a couple hours later like "Hey sorry I acted all weird, thanks"

and that's it

bonding with him is so hard, and Gary and Callie are like "okay go fucking do something"

you're all (spengler-groobersons + podcast bc phoebe needed a friend her age) out at an amusement park, and these mfs ditched yall at the carousel next to the bathrooms

and they weren't picking up their phones

you were basically forced to interact now, which was much less awkward in an amusement park

you guys ride some rides and get some food as you frequently call your parents

you finally find them, phew

but you two obviously made a little friendship and had fun together

took a little longer to get used to each other but you're fine now

awkward teenager shit yk?

in general, the three of you now are super close

trevor is your hype man when it comes to talking to people or doing something out of your comfort zone

phoebe is your hype man when you talk to her about maybe wanting to be a ghostbuster / study ghosts

you're the driver for the three of you, callie doesn't trust Trevor with driving, considering how he was driving the ecto1 when he first got it usable again, and obviously, phoebe can't drive

after a few years you're basically just like normal siblings

you three have a sibling group chat and it's 90% you sending memes, Trevor sending random tik tok links and phoebe begging you two to stop blowing up her phone

spenglerson siblings 🔛🔝

#lowkeyrobin #ghostbusters frozen empire #ghostbusters afterlife #ghostbusters x reader #trevor spengler x reader #trevor spengler #spengler siblings #gn reader #gender neutral reader #they/them reader #phoebe spengler #phoebe spengler x reader

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daisylark · 2 months

Note

Hey, this is kinda gonna be a rant so if you're not in the mood for that feel free to delete.

I saw your post -

https://www.tumblr.com/daisylark/741324260680794112/man-takes-a-womans-spot-in-a-womens-shelter-and?source=share

- and it hit me a certain way. Yes, I understand that this man is making it up, it's a fantasy. But I am a woman who has actually experienced living in a homeless shelter with a man, and it got to me.

I was 19 at the time, this was about six years ago. Literally the first thing he said to me when I walked in was that he still had his dick. (He phrased it as being intact and not having had bottom surgery.) I had no idea what he was talking about. at the time I was unfamiliar with trans ideology. Frantically googling to figure out what was happening was how I originally found radfems, bc they were the only people calling this shit out.

I could go on, but the thing that really gets me is that this experience was six or seven years ago, right. I'm in a better, more stable place in life, and have been seeking therapy for several years now. And the worst thing is THAT EXPERIENCE SPECIFICALLY has been a consistent impediment to getting to help.

Because even when I find a therapist, which is harder than you'd think, and do intake, which is exhausting and damaging every time, etc etc etc, so far no one can handle the specific trauma that I have from seeking shelter when I was at my most vulnerable and being gaslit and forced to cohabit with a man by the ppl who should have protected me.

And because my story is such a hot button issue, everyone kind of blue screens when they hear about it. Y'know? It's a little much to believe, in the current political climate, if you're trying to be a good progressive or whatever, that a 6ft pwecious wittle twans woman would act like that in a woman's homeless shelter. He was in his 40s btw. Ppl don't want to engage with it. They want me to be quiet. They've already decided I'm exaggerating.

The last therapist I had I started talking about this experience and the way it damaged my trust in institutions and so on, and the therapist interrupted to be confused, called him "they," and was asking about how he identified. I can be sitting right in front of someone I've known for months and the moment a man is brought up his hypothetical feelings take precedence over me.

So I understand that the reddit post is made up. But I saw it and I had to say, this shit fucking happens. It happens and it's real. The fawning over him doesn't happen quite like that, but in my experience, if a man is admitted to a woman's shelter his needs are already being prioritized and that is unlikely to change. I hate these men - the ones who go to the shelters, the ones who fantasize about it, the ones who support it. I won't forgive anyone who supports it.

Thank you for hearing me out.

Thank you so much for sharing this. I am so sorry that this happened to you. These are exactly the kind of things that we are afraid of. These are the things that people insist never happen, but they do.

These kind of things were the main things that peaked me. That a man's feelings would matter more than a woman's physical safety. It's horrifying.

#radical feminism #radblr #terfblr #terfsafe #gender critical

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