#bc i don't remember the last time i had this bad a headache | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lamnwar · 2 years

Text

I Can't Remember // KNB Characters x gn! Reader

A/N: it ain't me if I'm not writing fanfic based on my irl experiences bc I'm that one bitch that's always daydreaming, even when she's supposed to be socializing 😩

Context: A long awaited weekend on the beach with your friends finally comes... and there isn't much of it that you can remember. All characters are aged up for plot purposes (early 20s)

Pairing: there's just a bunch of character there so no real pairing, slight Aomine x reader and Kiyoshi x reader tho I really couldn't help myself

Warnings: mention of alcohol, heavy drinking, some flirting here and there, language, 3.6k words because I got inspired lmao but overwise it's just crack 🤭

You open the fridge, hoping with all of your heart that what you've been looking for is here, and to your enjoyment, a last bottle of beer stands in between a block of cheese and yesterday's pasta. You hum, before going outside. As the sunrays hit your face, you squint, the light appearing particularly bright this morning. You finally sit on the small wall between the beach house and the sea, when your eyes have adjusted to the daylight.

“Yo” you hear a voice behind you.

You take a sip before turning around. The blue-haired boy stands nonchalantly against the door frame, looking as if he just came back from a ten days journey in the desert.

“Hey” you reply, voice raspy.

He sits next to you, and you both remain silent for a while, the only noises being the gentle waves, and the very subtle fizz of your drink.

“You look rough” lets out the man.

“Same to you.”

You both laugh. You do, indeed, look terrible. Hair going in all directions, dark circles under your eyes, dry lips and that weird tint on your skin. As for Aomine, it's roughly the same, but he still has his usual charm, even while looking like this.

“Haven't you had enough last night?” He asks while tapping your bottle with the tip of his finger.

“It's the cure to a hangover. This, and dumplings.”

“Give me some then.”

You pass the bottle to him, hands cupping your face as you pull your knees to your chest. You don't have a headache, thank god, and you're pretty sure that you haven't puked, but god are you tired. The thing is, you have no idea when you fell asleep, you just know that you woke up this morning, with Riko's hand on your face and one of your shoes missing.

The rest of the night? A total blur. You have very vague images, but remembering them is as hard as remembering a dream you had ten years ago. You haven't checked your phone, you don't know where it is. Hopefully, somewhere in the house. You better find it soon; beside the fact that you rely on it to function, it's also Sunday and your parents will certainly call tonight as they usually do on Sundays. And this time, when they'll ask you how was your weekend, well... Well, you'd surely have stories to tell, if you'd remember any.

“Daiki, do you remember last night?”

He raises an eyebrow at you, amused by the question. You land a friendly slap on his shoulder – he shouldn't be making fun of you, for all you know, he's probably as bad as you.

“Some stuff. You challenged me to a shot competition, and I won, and then you said that I cheated.”

“You probably did” you scoff, earning a nudge in the shoulder from him.

You sigh. The sky is as clearer as ever, but you can't say that much about your mind. Usually filling the role of the smart one, the one who has an answer to anything – basically being a walking version of Google – it's weird for you to be missing some information. At the same time, you don't want to blame yourself. It has been a rough semester, and you've desperately needed to let off some steam.

“Shouldn't we do something about this blackout?”

Your friend raises his shoulder.

“We'll see it all in the pictures and videos.”

“I lost my phone dude, I have no idea what I've done last night.”

You chuckle, taking a sip of your beer. It amuses you, to a certain extent, the idea that you've been totally unhinged last night. It only makes sense, you figure; you've had your first drink at 3PM, you haven't stopped from that point on. To be fair, you were pretty thirsty after the drive from your apartment to the beach house. In the early summer heat, you were packed in a car with Riko, her boyfriend Junpei, and his roommate Teppei. Sitting at the back between bags and the giant body of Teppei, it only made sense that you required a fresh beer once you’ve arrived. This might be the last time that you’ve had a clear mind, remembering what you’ve been up to.

“I’ve left mine on the couch I think, should we take a look?”

You look up to him, raising your eyebrows. For all you know, the secrets of last night might all be in his phone. Gathering the little energy that you have left, you get up from your seat on the wall, getting back inside. You squint your eyes; you haven’t realized how bright it was outside. The living room is a mess, not as much as you’d expected it to be, though. A couple of glasses are laying around here and there, and you don’t fail to notice to bottles aligned against the wall, witnessing of the wildness of last night. And you obviously cannot ignore the large body of Taiga, passed out on the couch with his shirt opened. You chuckle softly, nudging the blue-haired boy next to you in the ribs so he’ll look at your common friend.

“Shit, he looks rough” he scoffs.

You nod in approval. Deep inside, it feels reassuring to know that you aren’t the only one who has been slightly overboard, and the idea of someone sharing your blackout is rather comforting. You advance towards the sleeping boy, bending in front of me. Despite only half of his body fitting on the couch, he looks comfortable, in deep slumber and you hesitate to wake him up. Yet, you have to, in order to retrieve Daiki’s phone. Granted, you can also wait for the others to be up and question them so you can piece out your misadventures of last night; but you are impatient, and before anything else, you cannot stand being in a blur for much longer. So you take in a long breath, hand slowly poking at Kagami’s cheek.

“Hey big boy” you mutter softly.

He groans, but doesn’t budge. Your hand trails to his shoulder, that you shake lightly. Again, no response.

“You’re being too delicate, shake the motherfucker up” Daiki sighs.

“I don’t wanna be too violent” you pout.

He rolls his eyes, and before you know it, he pushes you aside, his big hand lightly slapping your friend’s cheek.

“Oi, wakey wakey.”

The red-haired boy finally opens his eyes – with much struggle – facing the bored eyes of Daiki. He grunts, taking a moment to fully awaken. For a couple of second, he feels like he comes back from the dead, and reality sinks in at a painfully slow pace. When he finally gathers his surroundings, he lays his eyes on you.

“Sup?” he greats, voice husky.

You smile. He really is in a worse state than yours.

“Feeling like shit. Sorry to wake you up Taiga, but you’re sleeping on Dai’s phone.”

He moves, propping himself up in a sitting position. You’ve never witnessed the basketball player moving so slowly before: in a sloth-like demeanour, he rubs his face and stretches his limbs, before lifting the pillows, looking for the phone. And when he finally does, discovering it in the folds of the couch, he sighs, giving it back to its owner. Daiki shoots him an irritated glance; though he doesn’t say a word, you can read his thoughts clearly on his face. The fact that Taiga’s spent the night sleeping on his phone is enough to annoy him, but maybe somewhere inside him he restrains from making a fuss because none of you are in the state to stand an insignificant quarrel. It takes a few seconds for him to check his battery, then his notifications, before he opens the gallery. You look at him, impatiently waiting.

“Let’s sit” he finally says.

And you do so, joining Kagami on the couch as the blue-haired boy sits between you, ready to show the content of his screen. The first picture is a normal group selfie. Daiki, Satsuki, and Tetsuya, smiling as they hold their cups. It’s cute, but nothing that leads you to retrace your adventures of last night. He scrolls through a bunch of other pictures of that sort, amongst some blurry shots of random moments. Then he stops at a video, exchanging a look with you before pressing on play.

“Whose phone is that? Anyways, look… oh wait, this angle isn’t doing me any good – “

Aomine puts the video on pause, swearing under his beard as he sees the familiar face of the group’s absolute party guy. Kise Ryōta. It’s probably the hangover, but hearing his cheerful voice clearly puts Daiki in a mood, and for a second there, he is tempted to delete the video, so he doesn't have to suffer through it. But the second he lays his eyes on you, he reminds himself of the reason why he absolutely wanted to retrieve his phone in the first place. So he plays the rest, just for your sake. You all stay in silence as you watch the blond change the angle to make him appear under his best light, shooting one of his typical smiles at the camera.

“Looks like there’s romance in the air…”

He chuckles, before zooming behind him. In the darkness of the night, it’s hard to tell what is going on, but you manage to distinguish two bodies standing close on the sand. The video then stops there. What they are doing is unclear, but you recognize the outfits; one being Kiyoshi’s and the other one being yours.

Your eyes open wide. You obviously have no recollection of that part of the night, and you fear what you may have done. It’s not unusual for you to get flirty when drunk, and you have to admit that you’ve always had the sweetest crush on the tall brunette. But it deeply bothers you that you cannot tell what this interaction was about, and what happened after.

“Wow, so you and Teppei, huh?” Kagami lets out.

You groan, rubbing your eyes.

“I have no fucking idea what’s going on there” you complain. “For all I know, it’s nothing… but it might be something too.”

You sink further in the couch, trying to figure out how to sort this out. Unfortunately, your mind is too much in a fog for you to solve your problem, and it takes Daiki scrolling through the pictures again for you to come back to Earth. After some shots of what seems to be a round of drinking games and some weird dancing, your attention is caught by a series of pictures that includes you, in your swimsuit, in the darkness of the night, going for a swim.

“Ah, see, this is what I like” comments Daiki.

“What do you mean?”

“Love to see the little nerd of our group going for a midnight swim. Granted, you’re unfortunately not butt ass naked, but still.”

He laughs, scrolling through more pictures of you in the pitch-black ocean, with the widest grin on your face. And suddenly, you feel some memories rushing back. The feeling of the cool water against your bare skin, the sound of your friends cheering you for going in the water, the splashes of the waves, the smell of the ocean. You sit back for a minute, reconstituting this part of the night in your mind. You remember, talking about a midnight swim with Riko. She said that she’d never done that, and neither did you, given that you’ve never been on the seashore at night before. You remember, pouring some alcohol in your glass while you considered giving it a try. You’ve downed your glass before changing in your swimsuit, and rushing outside in the cool summer night.

“Where the fuck was I when all this happened?” asks the red-haired boy in a state of complete loss.

You furrow your brows, zooming in on one of the pictures, then increasing the brightness of the screen.

“Here you are dummy, right there” points Daiki.

And indeed, it seems that you weren’t alone in your midnight swim. You chuckle lightly, seeing Kagami’s giant body being engulfed by waves, some bits of that moments reappearing to you at the same time. You remember, the tall boy as wasted as you, running towards the waves, stumbling in the sand first before getting up and giggling like a child. You smile at yourself as these memories come; somehow, it is reassuring to know that you’ve done nothing too embarrassing last night. Although, there is still that interaction with Teppei that remains a mystery. God knows what you’ve been doing with him, and for your own sake, you pray it was yet another moment of senseless words and laughs, like the rest of the night seemed to be. You stretch, relieved at your discovery. Sure, the whole night isn’t documented in Daiki’s phone, and your own phone as well as one of your shoes is still missing, but so far, it doesn’t seem as bad as you’ve imagined.

“Good morning kids.”

The three of you jump hearing a new voice, and you eye up to see Kasamatsu standing in front of you, in what looks like a jogging attire. By the coat of sweat on his arms and the earphones dangling around his neck, he indeed looks like he’s just came back from a run, and you can’t help but sending him a confused look. How the hell is he in a good enough shape to go for a run after last night?

“You fucking freak” Aomine shoots a gaze as incredulous as yours to the guy.

Kasamatsu shakes the comment away, going to the open kitchen to pour himself a large glass of water.

“Some of us only had a few drinks last night” he retorts with an amused smile.

It must, in fact, be hilarious to look at Aomine, Kagami and you at this very instant. In appearance, it looks like you’ve been through a lot – and a lot, you’ve indeed been through. And as you get lost in your blurred thoughts, you get a moment of clarity, realising that if you seek more information on your night, Kasamatsu may certainly hold all the knowledge you want. As fast as you can, you get up, rushing to him. Pleading eyes meet his intrigued blue irises, while he finishes his glass.

“You still remember last night, don’t you?”

“I do” he raises an eyebrow at you.

“Good, because I completely blacked out” you complain.

“And you want me to give you some clarity” he reads into your mind.

You positively nod, and he laughs before patting the top of your head. Like the rest of the friend group, Kasamatsu has always known you as the one person who always has everything under their control; you’re the one the rest comes to, looking for answers and some order. But if someone surpasses you when it comes to having their shit together, it must be Yukio. Excellent grades, an apartment that’s always properly organized and cleaned, a healthy social life, and always taking care of himself and the one he loves. It may not be surprising, all things considered, that he is the only sober one after last night's wildness. And it might also be endearing to him to see you like that, knowing that you’ve finally let loose.

“For the most part, you had fun” he starts. “Nothing too wild, if that’s what you’re wondering… except some of your dance moves with Daiki.”

“Huh?” the concerned raises up after hearing his name.

“Yeah, you two got a bit hot on some dancehall. Don’t you remember?”

Your eyes open wide as you look at your friend, barely recalling any of that. The single thought of you getting physically close to Daiki seems like an absurdity, but you also know that Yukio wouldn’t lie. A flash of fright crosses between you and the blue-haired boy, all while Taiga laughs at the situation. And it must be funny, from an external perspective. Everyone knows that Daiki and you are the kind of friends that always keep distance between them. Sure, you tease each other from time to time, but things never go further. Not that you’d want to – Daiki is at best a brother to you, nothing more.

“The things alcohol make people do” sighs Kagami, as if he’s in any position to talk.

You shake your head, when glimpses of this event comes back to you. The image of Aomine’s large hands on your waist appears to you, and for a second, you remember a whiff of his perfume. Red gains your cheeks, when more hazy images come to you. Hips swaying, barely any space between your two bodies, your fingers tangled in his short hair.

“Fuck, you’re kinda hot right now.”

“I know.”

As these words whispered between you resurface, you go back to worrying about stupid things you might have done last night. Just as you’ve finally reassured yourself that you’ve been overall a good kid, you had to be hit by these memories.

“To be fair, it shouldn’t matter if none of us remember any of it” says Daiki.

The issue is that you apparently remember some of it. But he may be right, you both have an alibi. Blame it on the liquor, none of it was done in all consciousness. It’s just dumb drunk people activity.

“Yeah, it doesn’t count” you say more for yourself than for him.

An awkward silence follows suit. If you were in such state that you’ve had a moment like this with Daiki, then maybe you might have done something of the same degree – or worse – with Kiyoshi. The worries that you’ve previously had come back, and you try to rack your brain up, looking for anything. Unfortunately, nothing comes. There is only one way for you to recover the truth, and that would be to ask Kiyoshi about it, with hope that he remembers it. But the possibility that you’ve done something in the slightest embarrassing stops you from doing so. How can you face him if you’ve been acting stupid with him?

But no, you should ask him. You cannot go back home leaving this mystery alive. You need to know, and as the adult you are, you’ll deal with the consequences of your actions in due time. You take in a big breath, gathering all your courage before going to the room where you believe you’ll find the giant brunette. You still remember that he’s left his bags in the bedroom next to the one you’ve been sleeping in. The three boys watch you, perplexed by your actions. The door opens in a silent creek, and you peak inside. The curtains are half closed, and taking all the single mattress, Teppei is laying there, on his phone. The bed next to his is unoccupied; it was supposed to be Hyuga’s but the latter was in the bed you were sharing with his girlfriend. Hearing you, he looks up, shooting you a tired but nice smile. Your heart flutters – you really hope that you’ve behaved yourself last night, because God, do you have a crush on the man.

“Hey there” he says.

You greet him back, closing the door behind you. You figure it’s easier to go straight to the point, so you sit on the empty bed, fiddling with your fingers.

“So, huh… I kinda don’t remember much of last night” you confess. “But apparently we’ve had a little interaction outside?”

“What? Oh, yeah. We had a nice moment outside.”

You nod, looking at him as he moves to face you. You only now notice that he is only in his underwear, which makes you blush furiously. He has no business to look like that when you’re trying to figure out if you’ve made a fool of yourself in front of him or not.

“Did we? I really can’t remember.”

He laughs.

“We did, had a nice talk about stuff. It was fun. Kinda sad that you don’t remember it though.”

“Yeah…”

“Is that all?”

You nod, feeling his gaze on you. A smile creeps on his lips, while he rests his head in his palm.

“You’re wondering if you’ve done or said anything embarrassing, don’t you?”

You sigh, an awkward laugh escaping your lips.

“Yeah, I can get quite… special, when I’m drunk.”

“Well, be assured, you were just the right kind of fun.”

And as these words reach you, you let out the breath you were holding. This morning has been a rollercoaster, as each information you’ve gathered from last night has sparked different reactions. But you feel light now that you’ve resolved the biggest mystery. It’s truly not as bad as you’ve envisioned; as a matter of fact, it isn’t bad at all. You’ve just been talking, nothing romantic there, so nothing to worry about. Maybe this whole fuss is to blame on Kise, he’s the one that framed you in a way that made it look like you were flirting with Kiyoshi or what not. You’ll maybe scold him later.

You shoot a last smile at the brunette before getting up, finally at peace.

“Well, if it was nothing, I’ll let you rest” you say as you go to grab the doorknob.

“Oh! If you don’t remember last night, is the date invitation still standing?”

And here it is, the thing you feared.

“The what?”

You may not remember last night, but there’s one thing that you’ll keep in mind forever, and that is that you will never drink as much as you did ever again.

#the fact that some it was inspired by my friends being blackout after that one weekend we spent together #they'll never know that they served as inspo for my fic tho #aaah to be friends with the knb characters #knb #kuroko no basuke #aomine daiki #kiyoshi teppei #kagami taiga #kasamatsu yukio #kise ryōta #hyuga junpei #riko aida #momoi satsuki #kuroko tetsuya #knb x reader #aomine x reader #kiyoshi x reader #knb fic

146 notes · View notes

arcadian-vampire · 1 year

Text

Oracle and Ravio's Terraria Playthrough!

aka another long-ass post full of screenshots, wahoo

@ravio-the-cabinet-man and I beat the Moon Lord yesterday, the first time ever for both of us! So while we decide what we wanna do next (aside from playing with Rice), I'm finally gonna share screenshots of the things we've built. This is a medium world if I remember right, on Journey mode (bc we just like to goof around), and it's named 'Quack', thanks to Ravio's habit of naming things different animal noises

Up first, our house! Its name is Jeremiah, bc I asked Ravio what we should call it, and he immediately suggested that. The basement originally was the same length as the house above it, but as we got more and more items and more and more crafting stations, we had to expand, lol.

We made sure a lot of these rooms were vaild housing, so that whenever new npcs arrived, they'd come to our main house until we found a new home for them. The Tax Collector and Golfer still live with us, bc I never got around to building places for them (and it's nice to have the Tax Collector nearby, even if I feel bad abt having npcs pay rent).

-----

To the left of that is Ravio's lil greenhouse, bc he's in charge of potion-making, and a heart-shaped pond. The greenhouse has a name as well, but I can only remember the last part of it, which is '-Jeremiah's Lover'. The buildings are gay

-----

Further to the left is a lil arena where we go for events like Solar Eclipses. Pretty much all of our banners are hung here lksdjf;al

-----

Continuing on further left, we've got a fishing dock! One of many around our world. It's pretty close to the Event Arena, so monsters get stuck under the dock. a Lot

-----

Left some more, we've got the snow biome, where the Goblin Tinkerer, Mechanic, Steampunker, and Cyborg all live, ft. banners from the Celestial Pillar monsters bc one of the pillars always spawns nearby

We shimmered most of our npcs btw- the minute we found the Aether biome, we went ham dunking everything in the water (including Ravio)

-----

Past that, is our desert ghost town (desert-ed town?). It HAD been the home of our Nurse, Arms Dealer, and Dye Trader, but when we defeated the Wall of Flesh the corruption spawned here :/ We tried purifying it, but the npcs still refused to move back in, so we ended up building them a new place on the other side of the world

Instead of just leaving it or tearing it down, we turned the old desert settlement into a ghost town, full of holes, cobwebs, and gravestones that say things like 'RIP Twitter'. Just for funsies

-----

A ways past that, we have the Dungeon, an arena built in front of it, and our underground 'temple'/palace deal so we could put a pylon here. One of the Celestial Pillars spawns above the arena, so that's neat

Unfortunately I tried to make this arena look interesting, but the way I did it, it kind of gives me a headache if I run through it too fast, rip. It has been So easy to trigger migraines lately, I have to be careful even reforging items too fast, bc the flashing colors get to me. But anyway

This was built quite a while after the arena, and I had a LOT of fun with it. The Tavernkeep, Demolitionist, and Clothier live here. The pylon is just off-screen to the left, at the bottom of the stairs. The elevator on the right just leads to the entrance of the arena above

-----

Left again, we've got some Corruption we purified, along with a tunnel we dug around the Glowing Mushroom biome juuust in case we missed any Corruption

-----

The Glowing Mushroom biome, built over the remains of an old patch of Corruption. I'd done a big mushroom in my own single-player world, but it ended up really stiff, so I tried to improve on that here.

The inside of the cap is sorta unfinished but shh don't worry abt it, there were other projects that needed to be done

-----

The left ocean got turned into a quick arena that we used for the Pumpkin Moon and Martian Madness events, and Duke Fishron (a boss we died to so, so, SO many times before I realized I'd had the difficulty turned up to 'expert' like a goof)

-----

Zooming back to the center of the world, we've got a fishing pond to the right of our beloved house Jeremiah, and a small graveyard at the initial spawn point. The graves are dedicated to our first guide who died to summon the Wall of Flesh, our second guide who was accidentally murdered when Ravio's minions killed a demon over lava in the Underworld (followed by shrieks of panic when Ravio had to face WoF alone, pff), and the six (6) npcs that were slaughtered when we fought the Empress of Light during the day- we didn't realize just how far her attacks could reach, and they're all one-hit-KOs during the day... Pretty sure everyone living in the Hallow Tower died (skill issue. get good)

-----

Next to the graves is an unfinished house I built for the Guide, the Merchant, and a slime pet or two. At the time I took this screenshot, the Nerd Slime was dead :( Daytime EoL again, smh

-----

To the right, over a hill and a hellevator, is the Hallow! It initially spawned in the Jungle (SIGH) so I bought some seeds to spread it into the forest a bit, though I never ended up planting trees and making it pretty. We've got two dorky lil 'arenas' where we fight EoL bc we're stupid <3 She's the only boss fight we do repeatedly for fun, but we never bothered to build a proper arena for it. Spending any time in the Hallow? Fuck building, we're fighting EoL

-----

One of my very favorite builds, the unfinished Hallow Tower... full of random doors in the walls, because the Pylon is inside the tower, and a Celestial Pillar always spawns Right Outside (or, on the very fucking top of the tower, unfortunately), so we kept getting trapped in the tower with a ton of monsters harassing us </3 The Party Girl, Princess, and Wizard all live here, with a pet rabbit and the Cool Slime. They die all the time.

I ended up having to fill the uppermost roof with grass + spray it with Hallow solution so the top half of the tower would still count as being in the Hallow, because it's just so tall, lol

-----

Past the Hallowed part of the jungle is. probably the funniest bit of our world. I um. made a BIG fancy arena specifically for the Old One's Army event. Went all Extra with it, made it real grand. And we've left the jungle npcs in one of those wooden apartment buildings ;jflaskdjf;a;

Even on Journey mode with two players, the Old One's Army was DIFFICULT omg. I'm not sure I want to try it on my own

-----

Through another small forest, we've got the non-Corrupted desert! Full of Celestial Pillar banners, because this is another spot a Pillar always spawns. Our Dye Trader likes to sit on the balcony and watch fire rain from the sky. Remarkably, he hasn't died yet

-----

And finally, we've got the right ocean, where the Angler, Stylist, and Pirate all live! This was another pretty early build

-----

And that's it for now! We're for sure gonna continue goofing off here, and start a new world with new characters at some point- potentially in Classic mode, depending on if I can work out how to make a proper server to reduce lag, lol

#pikaposts #pikaplays terraria #i've been very autistic abt terraria lately can u tell #'if you Have to read some of the wiki it's bad game design' oh but it's So Good for my autism brain. the spreadsheet potential... <3 <3 <3 #it's been a really nice thing to distract me from [waves hands vaguely at my body] too. and a nice break from doing art #mindlessly placing blocks or whacking enemies w ridiculous weapons is great. semi-productive dissociation. wahoo

4 notes · View notes

mochinon-yah · 26 days

Note

afjdkd silly answer i got stuck in the abyss for a year /lh

but thankies hehee, im glad to be back! and im really happy to see you too mochi!! >:D it feels good to be able to catch up mwehehe and im glad to hear you're doing well too! (and i hope that you feel better soon too /gen)

im doing pretty good too! minus the uh. midterm exams like a week from now at my college hhh. thats gna be a pain to deal with. anyway ye! im happy to share :D the positive stuff? the universe sent me a sign and sent a fckin scorpion last year november. yea that was fun to deal with bc my younger brother didn't know what it was (he's a high schooler btw) and im standing here like "well clearly that's not a butterfly" with a deadpan and like literally a week later i meet my partner who's a scorpio and omg the coincidence :"D

or yk, the person who i'm in a relationship with now and he's so albedo-coded omg. but more silly. and very sweet hehe. other stuff that happened? still dealing with life stress since i have to find a part-time job sadly and my social anxiety hasn't been helping so ye :')

but that pretty much sums it up on my end! what about you? only if u want to ofc! /gen /nf

Sorry for the late answer hehe 👉👈

Anyway, onwards to answering vivi's ask!

I actually feel better now! So, thank you for the good wishes despite me answering this late hehe. I was just having minor headaches and turns out it was because of my inconsistent sleeping schedule, so that was that lol.

im doing pretty good too! minus the uh. midterm exams like a week from now at my college hhh. thats gna be a pain to deal with.

I hope that you'll be able to ace those exams!! I had mine like some weeks ago, and I don't think I got good grades lol. Just do your best with studying and well, good luck!

the universe sent me a sign and sent a fckin scorpion last year november. yea that was fun to deal with bc my younger brother didn't know what it was (he's a high schooler btw) and im standing here like "well clearly that's not a butterfly" with a deadpan and like literally a week later i meet my partner who's a scorpio and omg the coincidence :"D

or yk, the person who i'm in a relationship with now and he's so albedo-coded omg. but more silly. and very sweet hehe.

HAHA THIS! THIS IS THE PART OF YOUR RAMBLES THAT I WANNA COMMENT SO BADDD- *cough* anyways, that sounds like fun ngl. The part where you got a scorpion and your younger brother who was just like "oh, what is this?" and you answered with "well, clearly not a butterfly" WJHDSJDLKJDL IDK IT'S JUST SO FUNNY TO ME

And 👀👀👀 albedo-coded?

ALSO, CONGRATS!!! You got an albedo-coded guy, I'm guessing and well hoping that it has been great so far?

other stuff that happened? still dealing with life stress since i have to find a part-time job sadly and my social anxiety hasn't been helping so ye :')

I swearrr, social anxiety is so bad to have 😔 well, not that I'm blaming you for having it! I just know how bad it would get when faced with a lot of situations. Well, I'm already getting better from that stuff, altho, I do still want to run away and hide inside a hole when facing a lot of people. Aahh, I just don't like it when the attention is on me (._. ) I do hope you get better from it!

but that pretty much sums it up on my end! what about you? only if u want to ofc! /gen /nf

For my part of the story, i didn't really do anything worth remembering, so i don't really know what to say haha. OH! There's one thing! I've beent trying to read more books, one of them is pride and prejudice, but i haven't been able to finish it because my desire to draw was higher than my desire to read lol

#reli-answers : vivi <3 #BRO #I FORGOT TO PRESS POST????????#*cough* anyway #*guiltily press post*#haha #wdym i forgot-#the post wasn't in my inbox so i thought i had posted it...#turns out it was in my drafts 😭😭😭#i put a bunch of things in my drafts so this got pushe down- pls-#I'M SO SORRY VIVI TT #IT'S MY MISTAKE TO NOT CHECK HUHUUU

1 note · View note

abcdosaka · 6 months

Text

the life update 2.0

the unformatted stream of consciousness edition

i started working on monday. it's alright, been connecting with ppl, not being overly shy but i'm still adjusting to actually working 8 hours straight bc i've been doing legit nothing for 5 months straight. the people at my workplace are nice enough especially the ladies like there's one who i was lowkey scared of bc she kinda has a rbf and just looks so girlboss and professional but i messaged her and we talked and she's actually really nice :) anyway i've had enough work experience being the new guy and onboarding online that i'm not as scared as i would've been + i already know people at this company so i can kinda show my worth from the start

i got my period on friday and i was fucked up yesterday and today from cramps/headache so i got barely anything done so i need to do some work tmr cry T_T i need to remember work is not school i can't just procrastinate everything and i should actually work during and only during work hours. i give myself a pass though bc friday was just awful. also i was supposed to learn python before i started working but i didn't but idk feel like i can wing it there. i already know r and i learned java in highschool so it might actually be a breeze not to toot my own horn but i'm like pretty smart so

it feels like my pms (except its not really pre- more like first/second day of period) symptoms are getting worse the older i get. sometimes the symptoms are okay but more of them are just awful than not. i get really nasty headaches and intense fatigue for one, really bad cramps, joint pain and lower back pain, sometimes my boobs swell up and are really tender (compared to the normal level of tender), i'm either very irritable or sad, i feel like i can't eat and i'm bloated or gassy, i'm like constipated but i also need to shit all the time. like i cannot focus with these conditions. i couldn't this week bc its legit my first week lmao but i might start taking sick days for really bad periods. also maybe bc i took a walk before i started work but my allergies were REALLY bad all day

idk if it's my body aging (which is crazy bc i'm not even 23) or if it's bc i don't exercise as much as i should but idk i still do, like yes i do sit on my ass a LOT but i use the exercise bike a couple times a week and i lift a little bit (not as much as i used to). i haven't been able to go swimming in a while bc i think i had a uti (i didn't bother going to the doctor bc i've gotten 2 in like the last year and i hate taking antibiotics so i was like man lets just wait this out) and now i'm on my period. but other than that i swim pretty frequently.

the only issue w me is i'm a homebody but thats just bc i have almost no friends in my city lmao. esp since n has moved. (i kinda wanna call her but idk our in person chats are always so much better than calls like slight tangent but i can never hear her on the phone lmao)

honestly not mad at it like. did we only talk to each other out of circumstance? i think it's just a fact of life that most of our friends are borne from necessity at work school etc but once that ends only a few of them, maybe 1 or 2, will really stick around. but still like most ppl from uni i just don't think i'll ever talk to again and i wonder if that should matter to me or not. ngl sometimes the loneliness hits me but i don't think i've really lost my social skills in fact i think i've gotten a lot better compared to this time last year like sept 2022 - april 2023 was just a downward spiral for my social skills everything was so hard and my anxiety was prob the worst it had ever been and i wasn't very forgiving of myself. maybe bc i spend a lot of time at home but also i just don't really have a hard time talking to randos on games or in shops or whatever now. idk maybe i give less of a shit now or maybe my solitude is making my ego rise like it tends to.

i heard that was a thing, like if you spend too much time alone your sense of self becomes insanely inflated or deflated there is no middle ground. kinda facts like people are weird

but anyways i feel, for the most part, pretty chill these days. i think i could stand up for myself better now vs in the past. i texted sp again to say like "we should make plans" but i set up the last plan and like i drove her home last time too and we met at this kinda lame plaza bc she had an errand nearby so if she doesn't start the convo this time then i legit can't be arsed like i'll never talk to her again bc i'm gonna return the same effort i get. in fairness she told me that work is really exhausting for her and her commute is ridiculous like she lives by fucking farmland and has to take public transit everywhere bc she doesn't have a car. but we've never been close and i don't think our sense of humour or what we're interested in is all that similar so i get why she's not feelin it honestly me neither. no hard feelings but i will drop her tho.

holy shit this post is loooonggg. i'm not even done writing about shit but i think thats it for the life stuff so i'll make a new one

0 notes

rinphoria · 2 years

Note

omgg ive heard a lot about criminal minds, especially about Spencer (??). it seems like a really good show and i actually might give it a go too soon. i can only watch one show at a time because my brain can't process two shows at a time, but ive nearly finished the mentalist so i might try that next !!

icl, my friend thinks im a complete weirdo, but i don't like waffles or pancakes. they're not very appealing to me and i would never choose them when eating out. i quite like potato waffles though, they're beautiful !! i remember as a child my mum used to buy the smiley face shaped ones and id secretly take them out of the packet and try to eat them raw ,, i have no idea why 😭😭 i used to think i was the baddest bitch ever.

yk with the internship, i have no idea what to expect, but at the same time im excited for all the doors it opens. the company is basically a research and consultancy agency that works with big corporate clients like McDonald's and also with the public. they do research and then present their findings to the clients to try and help them become better brands and whatnot. i don't really care about the consultancy part, but i can't wait for the research aspect. im trying to go into psychology for university, and me having experience in research will hopefully (i pray that it does) give me a leg up into the research world and work placements while im an undergrad.

OMGGG I HOPE YOU HAVE THE BEST MONTH EVER BEFORE YOU MOVE BACKK !! YOU DESERVE ALL THE REST AND THE HAPPINESS AND IM PRAYING ITS AN EASY MOVE BACK !! i honestly applaud you, idk how you do it. i go camping for 2 days and im literally crying and throwing up because i miss my mum. i literally stayed up until 3am to phone her and tell her i wanted to go home 😭 you're so strong kai and i'm so so proud of you. hopefully moving back is easy and peaceful for you !! also i have so many kdramas to watch, and shows in general, but im so so slow at getting round to watching them 😫 i hope you manage to do everything youve been planning on doing within the next month !!

reconnecting with old friends makes me feel so fuzzy and warm on the inside. something about finding eachother again makes me feel like the friendship was just meant to be and that's why you both found eachother. im so so happy for you and please, feel free to let me know how the amusement park goes (only if you're comfortable with sharing of course). i love hearing about other people's days and experiences, i feel like im living vicariously through them lmaooo

IVE JUST REALISED IVE SENT A REALLY LONG ASK AND I AM SO SORRY ,, I GET SO CARRIED AWAY AND I END UP WAFFLING ABOUT THE MOST RANDOMEST THING please feel free to ignore this btw, its actually so long wtff I'm sorry about that 😭😭 anyways, thank you for sharing your day with me and i hope you have millions of more amazing days to come <33

noooo i would never ignore you!!

i def recommend criminal minds if you have space on your watch list! (it’s pretty long lol) and yes spencer is a fan fav, i really like hime but that’s bc i find intelligence attractive haha. OMG I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT i haven’t had those in so long 😭😭 bad bitches ate the little smiley potatoes 😌 your internship sounds like it’ll be really interesting! i did a lot of research for my major last semester and it gave me such a headache but i also learned a ton so it really does sound like a great opportunity. i hope you learn a lot and are able to enjoy it :)

i always hate the move back to school, it can be rough lol but thank you so much!! i totally get what you mean about getting homesick, my school is two hours away from home and on the first day of my freshman year my parents had been gone for maybe three hours and i ended up calling my dad and crying on the phone bc i missed them 💀 and to think i was considering doing school out of state lol i would not have survived

ahh yeah, i was really shocked to see him again since he transferred in middle school but turns out he goes to college where we grew up. it’s been really nice catching up with him :) and i would be more than happy to tell you about the little outing bc i too love living vicariously through others haha

AHHH LIJA ILY 🫶🏽🫶🏽 thank you for indulging me, you’re a sweetheart :))

#[დ] — mailbox #ffsg0jo #sender.lija #best of luck with your internship!!#and wishing you many wonderful days too my love <3

0 notes

colourmeastonished · 3 years

Text

✌️

#hoo boy has it been an emotional roller-coaster of a week #first I'm off my meds for days bc the gp messed up my prescription #then turns out I was right 2 wks ago when I guessed my grl was having second thoughts #but I'd talked myself out of that bc surely if she's leaving me on read for 2wks and delaying catching up it's just cos she's busy?#like if she wanted to end things she wouldn't have stretched it out like that??#but nope I was right in the first place but it took her the whole 2wks to figure out what I guessed like a day after we last saw each other #so we end things on good terms but I'm still frustrated and upset by how she dealt with it #but I feel ok with how it went down at the same time?? so why then have I spent the last 3 days listening to the same album on loop #and crying whenever I think about her??#but also we're cool we're chill we're friends and she's tagging me in memes and I'm to message her b4 I watch the final ep of bly manor #because it's all chill ✌️#and I can't sleep and I've had headaches every day this week #and I shouldn't be this cut up about something I've had enough time to process #but then I remember that she was all 'its just you and me we're the only people who matter in this we should take this at our own pace -#- we'll figure it out' etc. etc. and I'm so frustrated now I'm realising she was mostly reassuring herself!!#and I have no hard feelings bc she's been going through it!! And I figured she still hadn't resolved some hangups from her last relationship #so it was bad timing and incompatible baggage and all the hurt was accidental #and that kinda makes it worse!!!#and I wanna get petty or angry or whatever but it wouldn't be fair and I just don't have it in me!!#all I have is empathy and compasison for her and I guess I'm just kinda mourning the potential #isn't it just nice to be wanted??? and to be told that??? to be somebody's first thought in the morning and last thought at night???#but it wasn't just her and me it was her and me and her ex #and once it got more real like once we made it official she couldn't see me through all of the baggage #and I was patient and understanding and took it all in my stride and that wasn't enough!!! Bc it wasn't about me!!!#I'm going round in circles #and on top of all that the conversations around reclaim these streets and kicking off #and I'm grappling with bad memories and I'm spitting mad about what's been going down but that's a rough headspace for me!!#a productive headspace but a rough one!! And I'm bouncing between that and this and also all my preexisting stress #and I'm mad at myself for letting a relationship gut me to thoroughly!!!#my thoughts

4 notes · View notes

jonnnysuh · 3 years

Text

Never Not - Park Jinyoung

Pairing: idol!Jinyoung x gender neutral reader

Summary: Your bad day is turned around when your childhood best friend, Jinyoung, returns to your hometown and takes you on a tour of your favourite memories together.

Genre: angst, fluff, friends to lovers

Warnings: suggested sexual experience

Word Count: 4.3k

Requested by: Anon

A/N: Hi guysssss. I took a small break from tumblr bc I got super busy with work. I haven’t written something like this in a while, but I actually loved how it turned out. I recommend listening to Never Not by Lauv to get into the mood <33

Effort was hard to make these days. Even the way you walked had an unmistakable slouch. Your exhaustive strides were just a shallow reminder that there used to be a hop in your step. Five more minutes and you were free from the shackles of work. Free to figure out what to make for dinner, and appease the gurgles of your stomach.The seconds on the point of sale system didn't seem to move fast enough as you folded the customer's final item and shoved it into a bag.

When you were a kid, no one told you how exhausting being an adult was, and thus it became something to look forward to. You were so caught up on getting that first kiss, sneaking out to go to parties, seeing people that your parents didn't approve of, that you didn't realize that life didn't slow down from there. It was like you blinked, and you were no longer 16. Instead, you were twenty-something perpetually feeling like life was just an endless pit of "what ifs" and building up the courage to make something of yourself. Another mindless "Have a good day." escaped your lips as you bid a customer bye for the nth time that day. You wondered how many of your years would waste away telling others to have a good day, when you yourself hadn't had one in a while.

You pressed your fingers against your temple to sooth a small growing headache. Working in retail for as long as you had, you knew that the s-curved line of people didn't stop for your discomfort. With a fake smile on your face, you welcomed the next few customers as your eyes wandered around the store looking for the person who was going to take over for the next hour. Fifteen minutes past the hour, your replacement finally came. Externally, you wanted to scream and ask them what took you so long? but you knew that would only make you as good as the worst customer. Graciously, you nodded at them, before walking away to the back room to fetch your things and head out.

...

You stood against the wall at the bus shelter shivering from the cool summer breeze that was disguising just how rapidly autumn was truly coming. Today probably wasn't the best day to forget your coat. You rubbed your arms for warmth, taking micro footsteps in place. The pain in your feet made you romanticize the comfort of the sturdy old bus seats as a place of rest. You felt your phone in your pocket vibrate, but you let it ring out. You were determined to get a seat on this bus. A deep sigh escaped you as you surveyed the density of the crowd on the platform- the ride home was definitely going to be longer than usual. When the bus arrived, you queued behind a long line of people. Your phone rang a second time, at this point the crowd was getting larger and you knew you weren't going to get a seat on this bus.

PRIVATE CALLER

"Hello?" you pressed your phone to your ear. Sometimes your mother used phone booths to reach you, so you expected her voice to be on the other end of the line. "I'm offended I had to call you twice for you to pick up." The voice was much deeper, and the delivery much more lighthearted than anything that would've came out of your mother. The absence of a greeting was distinct and direct, but no matter, you knew exactly who this was.

You felt the tenseness of your shoulders drop with just the sound of this voice. "If I had definitely known it was you, I wouldn't have picked up, Mr. Private caller." you jest with the phone pressed between your ear and the crook of your shoulder.

"You know, I was gonna suggest that I pick you up, but just for that comment, I change my mind."

You poke your tongue at your cheek, coyly. For all the changes that occurred in your life, for some reason you could depend on Jinyoung's quick wit and humour to hit the spot even after all this time.

"That's fine, I just finished work so I was thinking of just going home anyways." You had no idea he was even back in South Korea. Last you heard, he was on tour somewhere in North America. More than that, you couldn't even remember when the last time you actually talked was. You were curious about what he was up to these days, but you you knew any hint of urgency in your voice would lead to incessant teasing on his part. The line progressed slightly, but you still didn't feel any closer to the entrance of the bus.

"I'm about to get on a bus home."

"Well, don't get on."

"If I don't get on then you're gonna have to repay me for the fare I paid to even get here." You eyed the bus reaching its capacity, and stepped aside. You twisted your fingers in hope that he was being 100% serious, otherwise you were going to have to wait out for the 6:30pm bus.

"I can't believe the cost of your attention is only $2. Do better." the voice quipped.

"Okay, Jinyoung I guess I'll just get on, then." you threatened, although you had no intention of boarding the departing bus.

"Fine, fine. I'll pay for your fare. Just wait for me."

...

The sky had darkened tenfold since you hung up from Jinyoung's impromptu call. The streetlights glowed gold against the lavender backdrop of the sky. You sat on the bus shelter bench, swinging your feet back and forth as you waited for him. If he took even a minute longer, you vowed to somehow become the president of the Park Jinyoung hate club. Of course, you wouldn't actually, but the idea became more appealing the longer you waited.

You weren't one to go on spontaneous outings- at least not since your teenage years. Recently, you followed the strict routine of work, home, sleep, and to stray from it seemed pointless. But the fact that he even thought of you when he came back home to South Korea was still not something you could wrap your head around.

In the distance, a glow of headlights appeared, stopping perfectly adjacent to your bus stop. The window rolled down, and there appeared Jinyoung's face in all its glory. To say all the words in your vocabulary disappeared would be an understatement. A part of you doubted he would even follow through. Without missing a beat, he returned a look to you. "You just gonna stare at me, or are you gonna get in the car?"

...

Your backpack was sitting atop your lap, bouncing with the movement of the car. Jinyoung hung one hand over the steering wheel. The orange and purple of the sky twisting, and creating a brand new colour that only seemed to grace the skies at this hour. The music was unidentifiable, but the volume was low enough that you didn't even bother trying to figure it out.

"So what'd you do today?" he asked.

"I worked, I told you that." you replied, matter-of-factly.

"And how was it?"

"I honestly can't tell the difference between this week and last week. Or even last month. Same old, same old. Annoying customers, stale lunch, forgot my jacket at home even though it's 15 fucking degrees outside."

"Do you still work at that clothing store you started at when we were 20?"

Your eyes shifted, following the ever-changing scenery of the highway. No idea where he was bringing you, and yet you were brought to comfort by Jinyoung's habits. You knew he didn't have a drug deal, or a random party planned. Jinyoung was always the type to be home before midnight. He was a self-proclaimed goody-two-shoes, but you weren't completely fooled. You knew he could bend the rules if it seemed to serve him.

"That exact same one."

"Anything else?"

You looked at him, the shock settling in that he was really right next to you-- no longer just a figure on a billboard that you used to know. The changes of his physicality were subtle; his face was more defined, but his cheeks still carried the baby fat that had been there since childhood. The shadow of his facial hair loomed on his smooth skin. The mole on the top of his lip, not necessarily gone, but faded. He looked older, but the aura of his presence remained the same.

"And then I was dumb enough to get into a car with a stranger because he said he'd give me $2."

Jinyoung side eyed you, causing you to erupt in laughter. His glare was also unchanging. "Stranger? Your memory's fading already?" He shook his head disappointedly. "I thought you still had a few good years left."

"Oh yeahhhhhh. Sorry Jinyoungie. Didn't recognize you with all the fame." you pinched and pulled on his ear- both things a relic of your grade school years. When you were kids, you never let him forget the age gap. Granted, it was only 3 days, but that gave you the freedom to refer to him however you pleased, while he was stuck with the honorifics.

As you let go, the curve of his ear flushed red. "OWW.” he cried, swatting your hand away. “You’re lucky I’m driving otherwise I would pull your hair.”

Being raised with Jinyoung meant that you were inseparable but kind of in the worst way. If Jinyoung got a good mark on a test, his parents would immediately flaunt it to yours. If you wanted to sneak out, he was on your tail telling you to go back home. And if he knew you liked someone, then that person would know soon enough by the words of Jinyoung. All of that warranted ear pulling, and if you did something in retaliation he would pull your hair.

He was one of the few people in your life, who encapsulated a certain time of your life. The time in your life when you were young, and the world felt so big and everything was possible.

The car rocked back and forth as it shifted into the elevated ramp of a parking lot. Your eyes widened as you realized where you were. He lingered in his seat before popping his seatbelt off and exiting the car. You followed him, swinging the passenger door open.

"So you randomly called me because you wanted to hang out at the...convenience store?" you gestured to the old, orangey building. The bricks were chipped, and the fluorescent lights illuminated the outside through the big glass window. You remember the days when you and Jinyoung would sit on the parking blocks and split a bag of chips until you were chased off the property by the owner. He pulled on the store door, pressing his back to it and letting you enter first.

"Well, I wasn't going to come here until you started yanking my ears. That's when I knew you were hungry."

Without stopping, you weaved through the store until you reached aisle 3- the snack aisle had become a home to you and Jinyoung when you were growing up. In grade school, you were both fearful of what was beyond the boundaries of your home and school so you indulged in after school snacks at the convenience to talk about the latest happenings in your life. As you aged, it became the place of solace after exams, or the meetup location for last minute plans.

He picked up a package of gummy worms, and shook them in your face. "Do you remember what happened the last time we ate theseeee?" Jinyoung smirked. For a moment, you were taken aback by how much he had grown. In your teens, you and Jinyoung met eye to eye. Now, you felt like you had to look up at him in order to be taken seriously.

You crossed your arms, "Yeah, we ate them in the parking lot and you made me confess who I had a crush on."

"Chan, right?"

You nodded, with a sulk as you reminisced. "That wasn't fair."

"Why? Do you still have a crush on him?"

"I haven't thought about him in so long. You really think I'd have a lingering crush on a guy I haven't seen in years?"

Jinyoung shrugged, and shifted his feet. "You had a huge crush on him, though. You even stared at him like this." He rested his palm to his cheek, letting out a deep sigh while trying to maintain an enamoured expression. You snorted, hitting him on the chest. "You'd write his name all over your notebooks AND you bullied me into giving you one of my new ones." he added.

You let out a belly laugh. "And then I wrote his name all over that one too."

Jinyoung rolled his eyes. "They were premium quality notebooks. My aunt sent me them from the states!"

"You had a kabillion of them. Besides, you pestered me for-like-ever to know who I liked, but you never even told me who you had a crush on." You grabbed the bag of gummy worms from his hand and placed it in your shopping basket. Your attention shifted, as you realized you should be in search of your favourite chocolates. You knew that you were far too old to be eating junk food for dinner, but there was something familiar about being hyped up on food that you knew would rot your insides. Your eyes landed on the top row of the wall, and before you could grab your favourite chocolates, Jinyoung stripped it from the wall and dropped it into the basket. He piled on a bag of sour cream and onion chips, and then you both ventured to the drink refrigerators.

Both of you stared deeply at your drink options. On each level of the fridge, stood several different colourful drinks. If you knew Jinyoung, then you knew he would pick a Coke- it was something he swore by in your younger years. You hummed, mentally deciding between an iced tea or a vitamin water. You weren't sure why it bothered you when Jinyoung picked up a Sprite, but you tried to hide your dismay. With an ice tea in hand, and a basket full of both of your favourite things, you made your way to the cashier.

At the last moment, Jinyoung placed a bright yellow umbrella on the checkout counter. He looked down at you, surely, “You never know when it’s gonna rain.”

...

The following car ride to your next destination only lasted about 3 minutes before he parked on the side of the road and dragged you down the street, with the plastic bag full of your foods in hand.

"I should've known you were going to bring me here." you said, strolling down the familiar gravel pathway towards your elementary school. All colour in the sky had disappeared now, finding it hard to see anything but the outline of each other and some features.

Both of you settled on the grass field, onlooking the tall school building that was the foundation of your formal years. As soon as you opened the bag of chips, you found yourselves deep in conversation, talking about what life had been for him the last few years. You couldn't help but be in awe when he explained the rush he got when he got on stage, and how he got anxiety when he thought he wasn’t doing his best. The candidacy of his thoughts drew you in and you were surprised that he trusted you with his secrets.

All these years, you had always wondered what he was up to, if he was living a life far better than the one he left at home. To everyone else, he was this huge pop star that had travelled the world 3 times over, but to you, he was your best friend who left home at 16. You had seen him through the bad hair phases, the adolescent temper tantrums, the voice cracks, and the questionable fashion choices both your parents had put you in.

He leaned back on his arms as he gazed at the school. "Are you afraid of change?" You were silent for a moment as you thought. "On a scale of 1-10?" you rocked your head back and forth. "It's a 15."

Jinyoung raised his eyebrows. You held your legs to your chest, and looked at him. "Why?"

He opened his mouth, but quickly closed it and looked smugly in the other direction. "Heyyy." you poked him repeatedly. "You can't just ask me that and not tell me why."

He enclosed his hand around your finger, forcing your poking to come to a halt. It felt like he was studying your face. Never in your life had you ever felt like you were under the scope of Jinyoung's gaze. The darkness of the sky acted as a mask, hiding your blushing face.

"It was the last thing I asked you before I left." he admitted. "I asked you that when things were about to change big time for us… I always wondered if you resented me for leaving you behind."

The last day before Jinyoung left to become a full-time trainee, you two snuck on to this very same field. Both of you ran across the grass, picking up dandelions; believing that if you gathered enough and blew on them, that they would fuel your wishes.

“You thought I could resent you?” He nodded. “Well, for starters, I hate your guts.” You replied sarcastically, causing him to look at the ground with embarrassment and your face softened at the sight of it.

“You know what I wished for on all of those dandelions, Jinyoung?”

“Not to fail the math exam.” Even in a soft moment, he couldn’t help but be sly. “No!” You exclaimed.

“Well, you should’ve. You got a 48.” He sensed your killer look on him. “So what’d you wish for?”

You played with your fingers. You thought you’d take this secret to the grave. “I wished that you’d be successful in whatever you chose to do.” His eyes enlarged, alarmed at your confession. “but maybe I should’ve wished for the math thing.”

Jinyoung giggled, inching closer to you so your legs were pressed against each other.

“What did you wish for?” You asked. He smiled with the side of his mouth, shaking his head.

“I wished that I’d always find my way back home.” “Oh goddd.” You gagged. “you’re so corny.”

“What about you, huh? You used your wish on me!” he bellowed, his voice echoing against the school playground.

“Hey, I might just be the reason why you’re famous.” You fought back.

You flipped your phone over, 7:53, the brightness of it only barely illuminating the dark. You thought about what you would be doing at this moment if you weren’t here, if he hadn’t picked you up. Mmm probably falling asleep to a tv show. Probably dreading tomorrow. Probably not as happy.

"But what did I say? You know… the first time you asked me that question?” You couldn’t even begin to imagine how 16-year-old you answered.

"You said you were excited to see who we were going to become.” The words of your younger self were so hopeful, yet your current self felt hopeless. Your expression sank, and Jinyoung offered a small smile to revive it. He felt guilty having asked you the question in the first place.

You sat in silence for a bit, dwelling on the excitement for life that you once had. Where was it? And how could you get it back?

“I feel like I’ve let myself down. I don’t even know who I am now.”

Jinyoung blinked slowly, watching his childhood best friend crumble. He rested a hand on your shoulder. "I just look at you, and in so many ways you're the same. I still know what makes you laugh, and the way you say things. I can still pick out your favourite snacks, and know you’re gonna pull my ears when I do something to piss you off.” he yanked on yours softly. "Everything about you feels just how I left you. I feel my youth when I'm with you. But at the same time I’m comforted by how much you’ve changed.”

“I don’t think I’ve changed much.”

“You don’t see it, do you?” You shook your head no. “Do you remember how scared you were to even leave the house when we were kids? Now you live on your own. You never took anything seriously back then, but you’re now one of the hardest working people I know…” his voice softened. “And you let yourself be vulnerable with me when it used to take hours to drag it out of you.” You laid on his shoulder, and he rested his head on top of yours, snuggling closer. “You fear change, yet you’re changing right before your own eyes. And maybe one day, I’ll come back here, and I won’t even be able to recognize who you’ve become.” You sniffled, the idea of Jinyoung not remembering you broke your heart. You held your chest. “But if that day does come, it’ll be okay. Because I know that the person that you’ve become will have it all figured out. I’ll always be rooting for every single version of yourself even if it doesn’t include me.” You sobbed quietly, interlocking your fingers with his. He held your hand tightly, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand. For once, there was an action not done out of habit or relic. It was an action evoked just for this moment, and it was a change that you didn’t mind.

…

Jinyoung held your hand, leading you down a narrow road a few minutes away. The sound of crickets, barking dogs, and distant vehicles could be heard as you stood in the middle of the road of your childhood neighbourhood.

You hadn’t been here since you moved in 2016. You looked up at the large modern house that sat on what used to be two lots. Yours and Jinyoung’s childhood homes were purchased by a wealthy business man and demolished to build the business man’s dream home. You stared at the foreign house that sat on the place of your childhood dreams and frustrations.

Jinyoung placed his hands on your shoulders and stopped you at the exact halfway point between what was once his house and your house. You rubbed your arms as a gust of wind rushed by. Without thinking, Jinyoung slipped off his hoodie and placed it on top of your shoulders.

“I remember racing you down this street.” You piped up, pointing down the end of the road. Jinyoung always won that race. No one was faster than him on this street.

“I remember finding that stray puppy and fighting over who got to keep it.” He responded.

“It should’ve been me.” You bickered. Jinyoung laughed, amused at how you were always one to hold a grudge.

“Do you remember that day when it started raining soooo hard and we had to walk shoulder to shoulder under my umbrella?”

You nodded. “Ya, that was the same day with the gummy worms, you dummy.”

“So do you remember what happened right here?” He pointed at the exact spot you were standing. You racked your head for a memory, but nothing stood out to you clearly. You shook your head no. “We always said bye to one another here...but…?” you trailed off.

He took a step forward, both of you standing directly under the streetlight now. You watched his face light up as he likely played the moment back in his head. “So that day, standing under my umbrella, we were about to go our separate ways. You turned into me.”

He took another step closer, popping open the bright yellow convenience store umbrella and holding it over your heads.

You could see it now. It was drizzling so hard, even your hair wasn’t protected from getting soaked. You wrapped your hands around the handle, just like how you did back then. Chest to chest, huddled under the umbrella. Jinyoung locked eyes with you, your heart beat faster.

“And you looked at me, and I swear I was going to say everything I wanted to tell you right then and there.” Your mouth opened in shock. “This was the place where I almost told you I loved you.”

You studied the eyes of the boy you watched grow up. He looked scared, but sure. There was no doubt in your mind that Jinyoung meant what he said. He lowered the umbrella, not letting his gaze veer from you.

Your life was just a build up of what if’s and trying to gain the courage to make something of yourself… but you didn’t want that anymore. With your heart beating out of control, you leaned into him, taking the risk and kissing his lips. He wrapped his arms around your waist, deepening the heat of the kiss.

A round of thunder boomed above you, and little by little, raindrops began to pour from the sky.

You and Jinyoung separated to look up at the sky. “I did say, you never know when it’s gonna rain.”

You both ran for the car, shoulder to shoulder, under the umbrella. From your heads to your toes, you were soaked in the rain, but neither of you cared. You silently thanked the world for every bad thing that happened to you today that led to this.

…

You blinked your eyes awake, surveying the damp clothes strewn across your living room floor, and the heat of the bare body laying next to you on the couch. You stared at your sleepy childhood best friend, a smile spreading across your lips. This was a change you were ready for.

47 notes · View notes

imfiguringitoutlovely · 3 years

Text

you've got bad eyesight||tomura shigaraki bf hcs

pairing: tomura shigaraki x gn!reader

type: fluff, angst

warnings: reader feels insecure abt eyesight :((

author's note: um. more writing for me 😳 as someone with irreparable bad eyesight, like...really really bad eyesight, i just need the person reassurance but i don't talk about it much bc i feel annoying... so here's this!! reader is NOT blind and nearsightedness/farsightedness is not specified. also reader is said to be 23 but it was just for a lil joke

ALSO i intended for this to be much longer but ironically my eyes started not focusing and i didn't wanna push it 😅 im editing rn and yIkes

you don't remember the last time you were able to get through a couple waking hours without glasses. over the years, your eyes had just gotten worse and worse until it was almost impossible to keep up with your constantly strengthening prescription

being with a villain didn't make it much easier. it wasn't his fault that it was so difficult, and you knew that. optometrists were very very rare underground and those that were accessible were often very shady

the last thing shiggy wanted was for your eyes to be completely destroyed

so often times it took about a month to find a new doctor to help bc going to the same doctor every time could be fatal if there were to be any leaks of info

this meant, unfortunately, that for long periods of time your eyesight was off.

your eyes strain, and you have headaches. action/fast movement is hard to visually process and can make you dizzy. you miss things that could seem really obviously right in front of you because your eyes can only focus on so much and your depth perception isn't the best. it causes a lot of daily issues, and you've often been teased or scolded because of it. people see you as clumsy, careless, a liar...

but not shiggy. no, he would NEVER

shiggy loves you. he accepts you. and that meand accepting the fact that you were gonna need some support snd reassurance, not pity.

he treated you like his equal AND made sure you got the support you needed the same way you did for him. however... well... you weren't always honest.

right now, the LOV was working on a big operation. tomura was dealing with a lot of meetings, a lot of planning, and a lot of stress. he'd grown so much since the start of the league, and you were so proud of him, but the pressure still got to him. you couldn't add to that...right?

so your eyes had been getting worse and worse. days passed. then weeks. and then it was months with your eyes refusing to do their job. headaches, dizziness, small accidents now and again. slowly it got stronger. it started consuming your life.

it was breaking you down inside. and one day the glasses just stopped cutting it. your eyes were focusing in and out, your head was throbbing, you could barely make out your surroundings, and you were dizzy everytime you turned. shigaraki had texted you because he left for work early, but you took a while to even find a way to read it right.

in fact it took so long that he texted you again because he was concerned about how long it was taking you to respond.

"i had another meeting today. twice is going to drop me off by lunch. do you need me to pick anything up?"

yeah, he texted in complete sentences. but only with you-

"are you sleeping in?"

he wasn't controlling. you just normally woke up around the same time and it was rare for you to not respond asap. he was paranoid, and why wouldn't he be? you were the same way with him. but you couldn't type out the text right and speech to text wasn't working very well, so you sent him a voice message.

the problem was that you had gotten so frustrated that now you had the post-cry voice. you'd bumped your shoulder and leg on your way to the bathroom, nearly tripped over your own slippers, and it was just all too much. how could you barely read texts? how could you not type on your own phone? how could you be such a mess?

"h-hey shiggy. sorry, it took me a while to actually respond...um... just some advil maybe? if you can. um. if not it's ok... thank you, shiggy."

he was giving his potential ally time to think through the offers he'd put front when he heard your message.

immediately, he stepped out and talked to both twice and toga. he sent them to be with you, to pick up the advil on the way, and to wait with you until he was done.

toga and jin were there so fast. you were part of the family, afterall. you'd been there since the start, even if you had stepped down from your role as a fighter when a particular fight worsened your eyesight. they got you your advil, though, and quickly let tomura know you were safe.

when tomura got home, you were curled up in bed, not really wanting to talk to either one of your friends. they were in the living room, watching tv very quietly but their thoughts on you.

"in the room." toga smiled slightly to tomura, but it came off as a bit uneasy. upset, but she was never really one to like showing that part of her. still, shiggy picked up on it and walked past the duo to get to the bedroom. they hadn't even talked about how the meeting ended becausr they knew it was second priority here.

"[Y/nn]?" he took in how the lights were all off and the blinds were more drawn than usual. he noticed how you were all curled up, facing away from the door with your glasses pushed to a corner of the bed out of your immediate reach.

then he noticed how quickly you sat up when you realized it was him, how you tossed the blankets aside a bit and reached for your lenses. he took in how you stumbled over his name and sniffled right after before turning away briefly to wipe your face.

"Crying?" he sighed. not out of annoyance, but your insecurities took over and you stumbled to explain yourself.

"No, no. Crying? I- No. Come on, I'm a big kid now," you tried to joke. "Level 23 human right here, remember?"

"Well you're treating me like a toddler again. You asked for Advil. I'll ask Toga to find another doctor."

"How was your meeting?"

"Are your glasses even working at all?"

"Did they say yes? What did they think about the training deal?"

"You need to talk to me about this." he started scratching and you immediately felt guilty. you couldn't even see his hand moving all too clearly.

"They're just glasses, Tomura."

"You're frustrated. You're locking yourself away from everyone."

"I can handle myself-"

"It's ok to ask us for help-"

"I WAS A VILLAIN, TOO, YOU KNOW?! AND I WAS DAMN GOOD AT FIGHTING AND-AND LOOKING OUT FOR MYSELF!" washed up and bitter at 23. tears started spilling. you were on your feet and your frustration just spilled out. "I don't need to be babied or cradled and-and I don't need to go crying at your feet whenever I've got a little owie, so stop being so patro-!"

between your tears and your fucked up vision, you tripped over a leg on the bed rounding towards your boyfriend across the room. you stubbed your toe and stepped back only to lose your balance and lean forward harshly. of course, guess who was there to catch you? no, shigaraki wasn't a fantastic person. but he did his best to be an ok boyfriend.

after the initial shock, you pushed yourself away from him and stumbled back. "N-No! No, I don't need protecting! I'm fine, I'm ok! I'm ok! I'm-I'm... I already put enough...enough on..." he tears took over. the agony of not even being able to fight for yourself was...beyond words and you were starting to wonder why the hell you were trying. then he hugged you.

then your boyfriend wrapped his cold, deadly arms around you and made you feel so damn warm and safe from the world that you let it out. he wasn't good for words with this, and was cautious with his fingers which made it a bit awkward for him, but he was there. and he wasn't even mad.

from then on out, getting eye exams becomes a consistent part of your monthly routine. and if you missed a month, it was only because it was absolutely vital you stay as hidden as possible. you ended up having to return to several doctors, but tomura made sure none of them even THOUGHT about leaking info about you or the rest of the league :)

you're really hesitant to accept the help for a while, but you notice it helps relieve some stress from both of you, and with everything going on, you figured it was the bare minimum for what you could do to help.

no, your eyes don't magically heal... but as bad as they get, tomura supports you

you start getting called the "crusty couple" because of his lips and your dry eyes-

better eye care means you can engage a bit more with tomuras gaming habits. it gives you two some really nice bonding time together.

no eyelid kisses bc he's a bit insecure abt his lips, but he will gently give you head massages to help with the eye strain headaches when you need to rest them after long days. with gloves, of course, he can't trust himself-

dabi says it's best that your eyes don't work so you don't have to experience the horror of the hands or cracking lips before you kiss him. you have to reassure tomura that it doesn't bug you but you do find it kind of funny-

eventually, you get a dog to help. it just gets too bad for you to go day to day on your own, so you get a trained dog that shiggy pretends to hate. but he loves that dog because you end up with tons of less bruising and trouble taking care of yourself.

overall, tomura is really supportive. at times, he may come off as annoyed or insensitive but he's just worried and frustrated that he can't do more. he'll still throw an occasional lil fit abt how you deserve better than those problems, but you always assure him that he helps plenty. :)

#bnha tomura #x male reader #xmale!readerblog #x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader #mha hcs #bnha #tomura headcanons #tomura shigaraki #my hero x reader #headcanon #bad eyesight #read with me lovelies

120 notes · View notes

pepperf · 3 years

Note

For the director's commentary thing, slight curveball: Just the entirety of "Everything Is Peaches But The Cream". It's not even 500 words and I always really enjoy it when I read it back but I'm also like "What went down here?" There is of course a danger that you don't know either XD

Either way, thanks for any insight!

Oh lord, now you're asking…! Okay, first reaction is that I have absolutely no clue what's going on and I basically stole the premise for this from one of my favourite songs, 'Handcuffed To A Fence In Mississippi' by Jim White:

I'm handcuffed to a fence in Mississippi. My girlfriend blows a boozy good-bye kiss. I see flying squirrels and nightmares of stigmata. Then awakening to find my Trans-Am gone. Still, I'm feeling pretty good about the future. Yeah, everything is peaches but the cream. I'm handcuffed to a fence in Mississippi, where things is always better than they seem. Things is always better than they seem.

It goes on, but basically this guy is in a shitty situation, there's a mysterious bloodstain and sirens in the distance…but it's still kind of cheery and optimistic. He's letting go of the idea that you have to be having fun or be happy all the time. Sometimes things are dark, and that's okay too.

And that kind of fitted my image of Diego and Lila's relationship: they argue a lot, and they do some objectively bad stuff to one another, and their lives are kind of awful, a lot of the time—but that doesn't mean they have to be sad about it, or let it get them down, if that's simply not how they feel. They can enjoy the challenge of it, they can trust in themselves to find a way out of it, they can even love each other when they're still doing bad stuff. Just that kind of cheerful view of, like, 'oops, looks like I'm about to be framed for murder…better do something about that.'

I did have some scattered thoughts in my head about what had happened. This is a post-s2 scenario where Lila has been doing some appearing and disappearing from Diego's life, because she's not yet reached a point where she feels safe or comfortable committing to him or to a fixed point in time. But she's drawn back to him, she's crazy in love with him—she's just not settled in herself yet. And he's kind of accepting of that.

Diego shook off the last of the dizziness as he watched the red taillights bouncing off down the uneven road. He could hear an excited whoop drift back to him, over the roar of the engine.

Dammit. He’d really liked that car, too.

I am a simple soul, I like cars and hot people. I liked Diego's scrappy old car in s1, it pinged the part of my brain that wants a Ford Mustang (and it's green, like Steve McQueen's—I'm not sure, but I'm thinking they deliberately did that, bc the shape is about right, too…I wouldn't be surprised if Diego was a fan of the movie Bullitt). Also, I figure that Lila has either drugged him or knocked him on the head. I am cool with that. Diego is cool with that. It's a minor inconvenience in his life. :D

He tugged experimentally at the handcuffs that shackled him to the chain-link fence. They were pink and fluffy on the outside, and absolutely professional underneath.

Lila has waylaid him to a seedy motel with the prospect of hot sex, obv. She has some reason of her own to want to be there, possibly an assignment from the Commission, or some personal loose end she wants to tie up. She just wanted some company, and to make Diego's life more exciting.

Still, they wouldn’t be an obstacle - if he had anything to pick the lock. But all he could see were rocks and scrubby twigs, and Lila’d taken all his remaining knives, along with his wallet, keys, and boots. He poked at the ground with his bare toes, failing to unearth anything useful, like a soda can tab or a fully-equipped lockpicking kit.

Remember back in the day when every corner of every street was liberally littered with soda can ring pulls? I feel like the TUA universe also still has those, as well as no internet. I don't know why. It's the 90s-ness of it, I guess.

Also, Lila is more thorough than almost anyone who's restrained Diego before. He's finding her a challenge—but maybe not in a bad way. He strikes me as a guy who doesn't like to rest on his current skillset, and is always seeking ways to push himself further. So he's simultaneously annoyed, impressed, challenged, and kinda turned on.

Sinking down into a crouch, he gazed up at the night sky, looming magnificently over the ugly motel. There was a good view of the stars out here in deepest Mississippi, and if he’d ever followed that line of studies, back at the Academy, maybe he’d be able to name a few constellations.

I get the impression from what little we see in s1 that the kids were able to choose, like…study modules, like how Vanya chose to learn the violin. It's the one freedom they seem to have had (well, obviously some of it was still prescriptive, like their combat training and so on). I imagine Luther went for the astronomy parts, flight, that sort of thing, judging by his room décor. Diego…maybe went for additional combat training? And in his limited free time, just read whatever he got his hands on? I'm not sure.

It was peaceful now that all the shouting and violence was over. He could hear the sounds of wildlife, insects and shit. There was a gentle breeze. It might even be nice, if he wasn’t handcuffed to a fucking fence.

The recurring motif. The chorus, if you will. :) I think all the shouting and violence happened outside of his view, he maybe caught the start of it before he ended up unconscious through whatever means. She probably drugged him, or he'd be talking about a headache about now.

He noticed three things at the same time: the distant wail of approaching police sirens, his boots tucked neatly under a nearby bush, and the massive bloodstain on the floor outside the room they’d rented.

Lila left him the boots. (Probably someone else called the cops, after all the shouting and violence.) She's playing 'nice' and giving him what she considers an advantage. She's expecting him to get out of the handcuffs, and escape the police, but it's just a little more pleasant not to have to do that barefoot. Also, she left him fully clothed! She was basically going totally easy on him, in her mind, because she's sweet on him.

It was shaped like an arrow, and it pointed helpfully - from the point of view of a rural police department looking for a person of color to blame - straight at him.

A tribute to the Umbrella Academy title sequence for Lila, and a coincidence in-universe. She's not murdered someone in a way that purposefully ends in a bloodstained arrow. Probably. Also the person totally deserved murdering, idk why, but they did.

Diego sighed, and rose smoothly to his feet.

Time to play Which Will Break First: Cuffs, Fence, or Wrist?

See, he's had a nice rest, and now he's ready to play! This is a relatively low-stakes operation, whatever is happening, it's something that he'll get out of, at some inconvenience to himself, and get back home, and then later on she'll show up again and he can grump at her for leaving him handcuffed to a fucking fence, what the hell, Lila?! to his heart's content.

(ETA: Also...he’s handcuffed to a fence. It’s probably wooden, or if not, rusty. Of course that is going to break first. He just needs to twist or kick right.)

I think that's all I've got! Aside from the fact that, weirdly enough, today I am wearing a T-shirt that says 'Just Peachy', which I mainly like bc it reminds me of that song…

#mememe #writing #fic by pepper #diego hargreeves #lila pitts #diego/lila #dielila #tua #the umbrella academy

7 notes · View notes