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#barney haltmann
duckapus · 4 months
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The gang's all here!
...Just barely...
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(This is a bit out of order but it was in my head and I needed it out fast so I didn't lose it. For context all of the kids (so Lily, Lil Coding, all four Haltmann siblings, and Timmy) ended up in the same place together without anyone else, got found by the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and their group has somehow ended up in possession of an airship and mostly figured out where Ozzy and Gary's hideout is. Lil Coding has been extremely unhelpful the whole time and making some pretty over-the-line statements about Root, and is getting on everyone's last nerve. This scene is when somebody besides Lily (who has been arguing with him the whole time but can't get through his thick skull because he's calling Bias due to her usual relationship with Root) finally snaps and calls him out on not just his current bullshit, but his behavior ever since the end of Raging Riptides.)
(Also keep in mind that everyone in this scene except Lil Coding and Barney are currently ponies and everyone except the two of them and Lily currently have hooves. Because Equestria.)
“Okay, I have had it with your shit the last few weeks, you stupid cat!”
Everyone on board whirls around in surprise to see that Hex of all people is the one who spoke, and she’s now stomping up to the target of her ire, who makes the mistake of opening his mouth again.
“Wha-”
She briefly pauses her approach and slams a hoof down onto the deck to interrupt him, “Nope! It’s HMG2’s turn to talk!”
“Yes, we get it, you did the “good-aligned cheap knockoff of a villain gets manipulated by a trick-ass bitch” first. What, do you want a medal!? This might be hard to believe, but not everything has to be about you and your problems!
“Now, I’m not saying you don’t have a right to be mad about what Root did -though you probably have the least reason to be this mad out of everyone who was directly involved, quite frankly- or that you have to forgive her! Hell, I was pissed at her too for a while and I’m pretty sure Vee’s at least still on the fence. But at least we’re not bitching and sulking while there are lives on the line or saying a literal disabled and abused child deserves whatever that omnicidal maniac’s doing to her-seriously, what the fuck, man!?
“I was willing to put up with whatever hangups you’re dealing with back home where we weren't mid-crisis and the adults could deal with you, but they’re not here right now and you’ve apparently made it your mission to be as much of a burden as possible, and I can’t FUCKING take it anymore! So you can take your Messiah Complex and Catholic Guilt and SHOVE 'EM UP YOUR HAIRY PURPLE ASS!!!”
By now she has him backed against the ship’s railing and is right up in his face, “Now shut up, get over yourself, and either help us or find a corner to sulk in and stay out of our fucking way!”
She spins around and stalks off, not looking back as he falls over stiff as a board, and sees all the other kids staring at her, “Anypony else have some grievances they need aired?”
Scootaloo ducks back down behind the wheel in a panic while everyone else vigorously shakes their heads, which prompts Hex’s mood to do a complete 180 back to her usual quiet cheer, “Great! Let’s keep going then.”
While most of them go back to keeping the airship running (albeit now visibly unsettled), Lily can’t help but keep looking at her sort-of cousin in confusion, “The hell was that?”
“Well, she is based on SMG4,” Barney notes, “I suppose it makes sense that she inherited his temper.”
WOW. WOAH. OKAY, I LOVE THIS A LOT.
The idea of Hex being the one to call LC on his bullshit is such a nice idea, I love it. The fact that she gives him no room to argue, points out all the flaws in his shit, and still manages to get her point across is flawless. Also, the idea of this pony gradually backing up a cat, that is probably taller than her at the moment, up against the railing is hilarious.
OUGH YEAH,, her being based off of SMG4 too,, man that temper can be deadly when unleashed. At least someone's knocking some sense into LC!!
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duckapus · 5 months
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Oops, all Phineas and Ferb Quotes
Mario: *walks into Meggy's apartment while looking at his phone* Hey Meggy, have you seen that video with the Inkling girl that went viral all of a sudden? It's hilarious! *notices that the apartment's completely dark despite it being the middle of the day, with lights off and curtains drawn* Uh...Meggy?
Meggy: *sitting at her desk with her head in her hands, staring blankly at the monitor, which is the only source of light in the room* Did you ever have an old box of junk that's been sitting in the attic forever, and you think, "I bet I could just get rid of this whole box, and my life would go on completely unaffected by the loss of whatever would be inside?"
Meggy: Like, for instance, an old forgotten video tape, made in high school on a dare?
Meggy: *finally turns to look at him, eyes haunted* Look in the box, Mario. Always. Look. In. The box.
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(during yet another attempt to use the Showgrounds as...well...a showgrounds)
Bob, standing in front of the entrance to a small tent: Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! Step right up! It's only a dollar to see...the mysteeeerious Penguin-man. Is he Man? Is he Penguin?
Bob: Or perhaps some logic-defying amalgamation of Man and Penguin! A Manguin, if you will.
*cut to SMG3 with a Penguin Suit powerup, sitting in an animal pen inside the tent and scowling*
SMG3: ...I used to have goals.
SMG3: They were evil goals, but they were goals.
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Kaizo: *sitting in a small crater, covered in leaves, rope and scorch marks* Well, it's not the worst date I've ever had. There was the one that kept stabbing me with a fork.
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(context: the kids are trying to help Lily and Root with their first actual formal date, and Franky's somehow ended up in charge of the whole operation, and it's going...well, it's going. also Sage was the last one to get involved and due to some slight miscommunication initially thought Franky was finally asking her out)
Franky: Man, do I know romance or what?
Sage: What.
Franky: I said, do I know romance or-
Sage: I heard you.
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SMG4: *trying to come up with a new merch idea* What we need is a toy so stupidly simple...so basically bland...so idiotically uncomplicated...that it can do absolutely anything.
Elanore: *quietly building a full-size replica of Jub Jub with posable limbs out of wood and felt in the background while he talks*
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SMG3: *chasing after Eggpup, who's chasing Meggy's cat* No, Eggpup! Chasing after a cat is so cliché! You're better than that!
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Morton: You got tossed out too, huh?
Desmond: Yeah, for yelling.
Morton: You yelled in a museum? That is hard core!
Desmond: Why did you get thrown out?
Morton: Stole a pterodactyl. *gestures to the pterodactyl skeleton next to him* But it's not like I yelled.
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(Tulip's trying to come up with ideas for something to do for Dale's birthday and asked the rest of the Teen Squad for advice)
Ash: Well, do you have cherished memories with him that you could draw inspiration from?
Tulip: ...You know I think I might have just the thing. *rummages through her favorite toolbox and pulls out a whole photo album*
Pikachu: She keeps her cherished memories in a toolbox...
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Elanore: Dad, we don't build stuff to compete. We do it for fun.
Barney: And for the ladies... *rrrawr*
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Arle: Look at this! It's a doorway with ancient runes telling us how to open it! *pulls out a thick journal, presumably with notes on rune decoding*
Laharl: Forget that! Step aside. *punches the door in two*
Arle: Or we could do that.
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Bowser Jr: I don't get all the stress about naughty vs nice. We Koopas have a system, see? You act any way you want all year long, but then right before Christmas, you do one big selfless act of kindness and Santa will wipe your slate clean. Works like a charm.
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(back during halloween)
Franky: Nice fairy princess costume! Where'd you get it?
Sage: Actually, I'm not wearing a costume.
Franky, not getting the hint: Oh, okay.
Sage: ...Orbot makes character reskin mods in his spare time.
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Saiko: Tell me again, why do you have a life-sized plastic mold of Luigi?
Bob: I have life-sized molds of all my friends.
Tari: I am not sure how to feel about that.
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duckapus · 4 months
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duckapus · 6 months
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SMGWare: The Game
So the actual contents of the Crew's game don't really matter much as far as the episode goes but I did have some ideas for the Story Mode stages.
SMG4 Theme: Intro Games/Memes(they all involve memes in some way and are specifically designed to be easy)
Story: SMG4 is working on his latest video. Pretty basic, but it is the tutorial level.
Lily and Bob Theme: Music
Story: Lily asks Bob to teach her how to rap, since while she's already great at singing due to the whole "was a professional singer against her will" thing, rapping requires different skills from her usual style and she thinks it's interesting.
Meggy Theme: Sports
Story: Meggy's putting her coaching skills to good use by teaching an aerobics class made up of some side characters.
Tari Theme: Video Games
Story: While Root, Tari and Boopkins are playing a game together, some of Root's malware leaks out and causes Tari's arm to malfunction, trapping them in the game until the arm can recalibrate.
Remix 1: Saiko Theme: Uses games from the previous stages.
Story: KS-2 concert.
Shroomy Theme: Nature
Story: While on a hiking trip with his troop, one of the scouts accidentally disturbs a beehive and they all have to hightail it out of there.
Elanore Theme: Sci-Fi
Story: Elanore's been working on some upgrades for Barney, and now it's time to test them out!
Mario Bros Theme: Food
Story: The bros are out getting groceries, and unfortunately Mario's being his usual self.
Remix 2: Lil Coding Theme: Uses games from the last three stages.
Story: It's the middle of the night, and Lil Coding is trying to sneak into the kitchen to get some grapes.
Melony Theme: Fantasy
Story: Due to a meme training session gone wrong, there's a massive Melon Chomp (Chain Chomp with watermelon texture) terrorizing the city, and only Melony's deity powers can put a stop to it.
Boopkins Theme: Everyday Life
Story: Boopkins is at a comic book store "fighting" against other Otaku to get one of the few waterproof copies of a new manga.
SMG3 Theme: Anything Goes/Dead Memes(they can fit any theme in the game and always involve a dead meme in some way. also they're supposed to be a lot harder since it's the final stage)
Story: It's bath day at the Eggdog Corral, and some Eggdogs are more cooperative than others.
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duckapus · 7 months
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incorrect quotes HMG edition
Hex: Welcome to Applebee's would you like apples or bees?
Aziz: Wh-bees?!
Hex: HE HAS SELECTED THE BEES!
Elanore: *brings out a jar that has muffled angry buzzing coming from it*
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Desti: Does violence have to be the last resort?
Desti: Can't it be like...third?
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Elanore: Twelve years old. College reading level. The weight of the world on my shoulders.
Mario: Mid-thirties. Illiterate. The weight of the universe has given me chronic back pain.
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Elanore: Can I take the skin off the Furby?
Elanore: I want to make him a God. Once he is free of his sinful flesh he can begin the path towards enlightenment. He will take care of Us.
Elanore: Also I want to softhack his circuits.
Susie: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.
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SMG4: I really like this whole "good cop, bad cop" thing you guys have going on.
Vee: It's not an act, it's just that Hex is nice and I'm not.
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Barney: Peekaboo is essentially just making fun of babies for not understanding object permanence.
Vee: I've made fun of babies for less.
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Meggy: Absolutely hate it when a recipe calls for two cups of onion. They don't come in cups, they come in onions.
Bowser: *refuses to speak to her for the next two weeks*
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Rob, with great reverence: Before the movie starts, it's just fifty people sitting in the dark eating corn.
Welony: For a few minutes you too can experience what it's like to live in Ohio!
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Susie: So you're basically the therapist for like, everyone in your friend group.
SMG3: Pretty much, yeah.
Susie: Who's your therapist, then?
SMG3: ...I talk to the Eggdogs sometimes.
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Waluigi: I had a bad childhood.
Vee: I know.
Waluigi: What do you mean you know?
Vee: Well, look at you.
Waluigi: What do you mean "look at you"?!
Vee: Look at how you stand. People with good childhoods don't stand like that.
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duckapus · 6 months
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So! Some noteable competitors in the Racing Arc.
Mario, Meggy, Bob and Tari in Bob's car.
SMG4 and Luigi in the RV.
Tulip, 10 and Ash & Pikachu in Tulip's van.
Elanore, Barney and Desti in a futuristic racecar Susie and Elanore built together.
Team Rocket in one of their Pokemon-themed contraptions.
Phineas and Ferb in one of their inventions.
Funky Kong in a car made of barrels and such, as expected.
A few other Mario and Mario-adjacent characters also in thematically appropriate vehicles
Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who's car is outfitted with an absurd amount of gadgets, traps and Inators, which he intends to use to eliminate the competition, win by default (his favorite way to win!), and use the resulting fame and prize money to further his goals of taking over THE ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA!!!
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, in a full pirate ship that's been modified to work on land. Perry stows away on their ship and ends up joining the crew so he can go after Doof. (Note: it's specifically the version from the movie [their own movie not the Jonah one], so they go by George, Elliot and Sedgewick instead of Pa, Larry and Mr. Lunt, and Elliot Larry isn't Larryboy Larry)
Dribble, Spitz and Candace. They were late entries and not entirely willing ones. Basically, Candace saw that her brothers were in the race, Urge to Bust took over, so she got in the cab so she could go after them and everyone involved just kind of went along with it. They aren't even fully aware that they're being considered competitors, really.
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duckapus · 5 months
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Sibling Bonding Day!
Melony: *rapidly approaches the Haltmann siblings with that no animation, no in-between frames doll walk some of the characters do when they're excited* Sibling Bonding Day!
Vee: da fuk- *gets got along with her siblings and plopped in the back seat of a car, where they find that Lily and Lil Coding are already there* Uh...hey guys.
Lily and LC: Hi.
Melony: *gets in the front seat and starts driving* Sibling Bonding Day!
Hex: Why is Melony kidnapping us? *she's not too worried since it's Melony, but it's a legitimate question*
Lil Coding: Right, you guys are still new. Uh, so you know how Melony's technically still animate even when she doesn't have her mask even though, say, Desmond isn't?
Barney: I'll admit, I've been wondering why that's the case.
LC: Okay, so the short version is that before she got the mask she was an OC that Papa and Mario collaborated on. Mario came up with the original concept of a watermelon girl as a sort of...replacement goldfish of Meggy because he went stir-crazy in the old castle one Christmas. Then during Papa's big final evil scheme he gave her this weirdly elaborate backstory and made her a hacker and twitch streamer, and somehow that brought her to life.
Elanore: ...Wait, so she's actually legitimately our sister!?
Lily: Sort of? I'm pretty sure her, Papa and Mario all prefer to see each other as friends most of the time since she was designed to be about the same age as them, but every so often she gets into a certain mood and... *gestures towards the melon in question*
Melony, mostly oblivious to the conversation behind her: Sibling Bonding Day!
Hex: So, is there anyone else she would consider a sibling in this context?
Lily: Um, Welony and Desmond definitely, since they're both Masked Object People and Welony was literally her evil twin before she reincarnated, Franky's invited but he's even more of a "sibling-by-proxy" than we are so he can actually opt out, and...uh...wait. *leans forward to address Melony* We're not bringing Marty again, are we?
Melony, suddenly deathly serious: NO! Never again. Not after what he did last time...
The kids: O_O
Melony: *goes back to cheerful* Anyway...Sibling Bonding Day!
Hex: Riiiight...Uh, follow-up question; since when does Melony have a car?
LC: She doesn't.
Melony: I don't!
*they then failed to elaborate*
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duckapus · 7 months
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Lion!Wario: Wait, you're trying to meet the Wizzer?
Lily: Yeah! Barney and I need his help to get home. *scowls down at her feet* And to get these things off me.
ScareKaizo: I want him to make me strong so I can fuck shit up!
Lion: *looks over at Tin Belle*
Belle: *crosses her arms* I'm just here to keep these idiots alive.
Barney: Is there anything you'd ask the Wizzer for, if you could?
Lion: Well...no, it's silly.
Lily: Aw, c'mon, tell us! Pleeeease?
Lion: Oh...alright. *looks dramatically into the distance as the light in the clearing somehow dims, apart from a spotlight directly over his head*
Belle: What the fu-
Kaizo, knowing a musical number when he sees one: ssshhhh!
Ever since I was a little cub, in widely tailored pants, my only aspiration was to be a cat who danced! But for what it's worth, my portly girth only served to make folks giggle. For the more I moved, the more I grooved, all I could do was...jiggle.
I want to da-a-a-a-a-a-ance! I want to gro-o-o-o-o-o-ove! I need to fe-e-e-el the rush! of the wind! under my sho-o-o-o-o-oes.
I want, to da-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ance...
Lily, Barney and Kaizo: *start applauding as the lights go back to normal*
Belle: Seriously, what the hell just happened?
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duckapus · 7 months
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Episode Idea: Wizard of Oz parody
Luigi's RV gets carried off by a freak Tornado with Lily and Barney inside, and drops into the weird and wonderful Land of Blahs. Specifically, it lands on the Wicked Bitch of the West, who's been terrorizing the small county of Boopkinland, home of the Boopkins (smaller, multicolored copies of our Boopkins). This causes the magical red Crocs the Bitch was wearing to transfer over to Lily, making her the target of the more powerful Wicked Bitch of the East (Susan Wakawaka in a pointy hat). Then the two of them are told by the Good Witch Emulator(she really is Emulator, this is apparently a pocket dimension made from one of her daydreams and the Hologram Trio are working on getting them out, but it's gonna take a while so it'd be best to go along with the story for now) to seek out the great and powerful Wizzer of Blahs, who lives in Weed City.
Along the way they meet a scarecrow based on Kaizo who wants to be strong (all Kaizos crave Violence, but being made of straw doesn't lend well to that), a tin lumberjack based on Belle who doesn't want anything in particular but doesn't think it's a good idea to let two kids and a bloodthirsty moron travel across the country alone for any longer than they already have, and a Lion based on Wario who wants to dance.
After a few misadventures they get to Weed City, get told by the Wizzer to kill the Wicked Bitch, then Lily gets captured by her Winged Skibidi Toilets and the others have to storm the Bitch's castle, sneaking and fighting their way through the Steve Guards, and rescue her.
The Bitch dies, they return to Weed City as heroes, the Wizzer turns out to be the real-world Swag who's been stuck in here for a week, and then the Hologram Trio finally figures out how to get them home. Thankfully without the magic crocs.
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duckapus · 8 months
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The Haltmann Meme Guardians
Preparations are finally complete for creating the HMG trio, with Susie personally creating the DNA mixture that will become her new Avatar (she could've just made a clone of Mario, but that would've been boring, so she mixed the DNA of a bunch of red-coded protagonists with Mario as the base), and the cloning machine is activated. However, the Meme Energy getting pumped in unexpectedly interferes with the flash-growth feature, and results in the Artificial Avatar being much younger than expected.
Susie takes one look at the very small functionally-twelve-year-old girl that comes out of that tube and immediately goes 'oh fuck I'm a mom now.'
That's the opening scene. The rest of the episode is the new Avatar (dubbed Elanore) meeting her Guardians (HMG1/Vee and HMG2/Hex), deciding to build a robot named Barney so she can "have her own Luigi" because clearly having Luigi is integral to being Super Mario, and generally just showing what these new kids are like and how they react to their currently rather limited world.
All the while, the God Box is frustrated that Susie's continued stubbornness, and now her newfound love for what were supposed to be its puppets but are apparently immune to even its mere influence, have gotten in the way of her full corruption and allowed her to fulfill The Plan her own way for her own benefit.
Perhaps it's time to find a new pawn...
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duckapus · 1 year
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Elanore’s Secret Snack Run
Despite knowing that she needs to be kept a secret for the sake of The Plan, when Elanore hears about the legendary Waluigi’s Taco Stand she sneaks out to try it for herself, with Hex tagging along to help her avoid the Crew while Vee and Barney stay behind to keep their Mom and the other villains from finding out.
So basically a classic “the cast tries to do something mundane and chaos ensues” episode, but focused on the arc villains instead of Mario and his friends.
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duckapus · 1 year
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Now introducing our replacement Avatar and Haltmann Meme Guardians!
Subject AVA-1: Elanore -Despite being just as dumb as Mario she has a great deal of talent in engineering -Really likes racecars -Can use the fire powers she inherited from Mario and Captain Falcon to produce a welding torch style flame from her fingertips -Saw Luigi and decided she wanted her own since her sisters can’t keep up with all her crazy powers so she built a little robot buddy named Barney -Barney is basically just Legally Distinct Clank -Obsessed with tacos -Call her Ellie and you die -Cannot Sit Still. Ever
Subject HMG-1: Vee -Either Goth or Punk aesthetic, will change her answer depending on who asked -Extremely protective of her siblings(including Barney) -Mean as Hell -You know that John Mulaney quote about how kids give the most biting insults because they’re “mean, but in like a true way?” she weaponizes that An Example: Vee: You’re who I’m based on? No wonder I’m insecure.
SMG3: Wha-we’ve been here less than a minute! There’s no way you know me well enough to say that!
Vee, unimpressed: Your whole vibe screams “Mid 2000′s Edgelord Wannabe who got kicked out of theatre club in seventh grade and never let it go.”
SMG3: *Head deflates while pupils stay normal for a sad cat vibe*
Vee: Also your eyeliner’s crooked.
SMG3: *Rocking back and forth in the fetal position while a stock crying baby soundclip plays* -As the quote implies she’s actually very insecure, but oddly not about people knowing she’s insecure -Likes giving people nicknames, to the point where she only uses real names for the short list of people she respects. -For some reason Toadsworth is in that list and she refuses to explain why -Bit of middle child energy, but is also The Responsible One whenever Barney’s not available for that
Subject HMG2: Hex -A fairly quiet person, prefers to keep to herself -At least, normally. When she’s recording for the Content Creation part of her Guardian duties she turns into kind of a Diva -Has a tendency to scream when she’s frustrated like 4 and Forum. Might just be an Even Number Guardian thing -Her special interest is bees. She’ll talk for hours about them if you let her -If they weren’t on opposite sides she’d probably get along well with Luigi and Tari -A little bit scared of Bob, he’s too Pointy for her tastes -Tends to get dragged along for whatever weird thing Elanore’s doing
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duckapus · 7 months
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Most of the major events in the Haltmann War, in more-or-less chronological order:
The distraction plan is successful and the Crew + Kirby manage to get into the Access Arc undetected...but shenanigans ensue because it's them and they all get separated early on.
Susie succeeds in copying Mario's Player Data over to Elanore, but doesn't kill him right away, because even if she wasn't afraid of how Movie Mario would react to her killstealing she'd still let him be the one to do the deed since she promised him revenge if he helped her and it would go against what's left of her principles to go back on a deal.
Lots of cool fight scenes down on the surface, with Marcy, Shroomy, Kaizo, Amy, and the other Major Side Characters, as well as the Hologram Trio, getting most of the focus.
There's also a scene with Slenderman, Siren Head and Huggy Wuggy teaming up and absolutely slaughtering Haltmann's forces.
Elanore and Barney decide to help Mario escape because he seems like a nice guy. Unfortunately, the Tax Evasion Yoshis find out and won't let them go without a fight.
Primp Town comes under attack because of course it does, allowing the Puyo Puyo characters, the Koopalings (minus Iggy 'cause he's trapped with the other mad scientists), Root and Lil Coding to show off their skills.
Tari and Saiko find Hal, who's been upgraded Mecha-Knight-Style into the Halt Monitor and is guarding the bootleg Guardian Pod Susie made from the God Box Shard.
The Access Arc's defenses come online to assist Haltmann's fleet against the good guys' much larger fleet, and Sage retaliates by bringing out the Death Egg and fighting Death Star Parody to Death Star Parody, which provides an amazing background for the ongoing fight between Movie Mario and Melony's team
The New and Improved Augmented Security Swipe takes to the battlefield back on the ground, getting into a fight with the side characters and surprise entries Dusty Grumpton and Heavy Squid, while Joe, Dusty's Dad and Fury Bowser fight the King Salmonids and that one giant robot boss from Kirby 64.
Bob and Boopkins run into The Goomba, who now has a personalized Robobot Armor he calls his Executive Suit. It has four massive arms because he, like most Goombas, has kind of a complex about that sort of thing. He's also still only calling Boopkins Fishy, which makes him rather quickly shift from trauma-and-bad-at-fighting-induced-fear to also-trauma-induced-murderous rage
Cody discovers that he inherited his mom's skill with a shotgun when his siblings nearly get killed by a squad of Octoling Clones that slipped past Primp Town's actual combatants.
Kirby, Luigi and Perry find Susie guarding the Scientists, and it's immediately obvious that they're going to have to knock some sense back into her
A second invasion fleet appears in the Internet Graveyard, only to discover that it has not been left unprotected, with 1, 2, Juliano and Knuckles leading the Dead Memes as a well-coordinated army instead of the chaotic feral mess Haltmann had probably been expecting
3 and 4 find Vee and Hex, and while 3 and Vee's frustratingly similar personalities do make them clash at first they manage to get the kids on their side like Mario did. And then the Bob-Omb Battlefield Chain Chomp shows up with a plasma cannon mounted on it.
Meggy ended up alone and, in a scene framed almost identically to the Octo Expansion Agent 3 boss cutscenes, finds DST-19, the Octoling Clone who most closely replicated their DNA donor: Desti. It even has her original Blaster, the signature hot-rod paintjob faded to almost nothing and replaced by patches of rust from its years at sea.
Movie Mario looks like he's on the ropes after a devastating blow from a Super Waluigi Launcher attack, only to tap into the God Box's power and become Mari0, which gives him a second wind also unleashes his secret army of Anti-Minions onto all of the ground battles.
There's also a massive, surprisingly powerful Anti-Meme version of the Onceler who shows up in Primp Town
At the Goomba fight, Booplins manages to actually climb up the mech while Bob's drawing fire with his actual direct fighting, and he proceeds to push the Goomba out of the mech, take control of it himself, and use it to stomp the Goomba without remorse.
Mario, Elanore and Barney defeat the Yoshis, with Mario afterwards lamenting his broken friendship with the main green one, not knowing that he's actually still conscious and has been given some things to think about
Saiko and Tari have a lot of trouble with Halt Monitor, but eventually manage to break through his reprograming thanks to their shared past in the Reboot timeline
Just when it looks like the Primp Town group is beat, Lily discovers that her siren song is the least of her voice's powers, because she unlocks the power to SHOUT DEVISTATINGLY AND IMPOSSIBLY LOUDLY, which basically deletes the Mega-Anti-Onceler, most of the invaders...and a great deal of the surrounding countryside.
During the Susie boss battle, she gradually realizes that her situation with the God Box Shard is a direct and terrifying parallel to what happened with her father and Star Dream. She's not exactly cured of her corruption, but she does at least now know there's a problem and is actively fighting against it. Unfortunately, between all the damage to the Access Arc, the God Box's influence permeating everything by this point, and Mari0 and A.S.Swipe being Mari0 and A.S.Swipe, she doesn't currently have any way to call the invasion off
Meggy vs DST-19 is nasty, both because Obvious Trauma Reasons but also because DST-19 turns out to legitimately just as good as the original Desti was, and besides the lack of talking is even acting exactly like the original would have. Ultimately the duel leads to a draw, at which point DST-19 actually finally talks, commenting on how Meggy's getting slow in her "old age," because apparently she's had Desti's memories the whole time and was looking for a rematch! So now she's part of the group, apparently.
Also A.S.Swipe gets blown up again. Hopefully for good but probably not.
It's at this point that everybody in the Arc actually manages to meet up at the bootleg Guardian Pod...well, almost everybody. Guardians are still missing up until they come crashing through a wall still pursued by the Cyber-Chomp, who's then quicky taken down and freed from its cybernetics by Executive Suit Boopkins, because he's tough now apparently. We'll see how long it lasts.
Meanwhile, out in space, Mari0 is handing Melony's team their asses and Sage is getting way too into tearing the Arc apart, to the point where she's seemingly forgotten that everyone has to actually escape from it before she finishes destroying it. Eggman is very proud of her.
The Arc group gets inside the Pod, which the Chomp puts inside its mouth, and they all shoot out the nearest airlock just in time to not get blown the fuck up, since the Chomp is the Chomp and can totally survive the vacuum of space and falling from low orbit. While that's happening Mari0 sends the group fighting him crashing to the ground
this leads to the final battle happening in a massive crater. While the Arc group is mostly still fresh to go, the space battle and ground battle groups are running on fumes at this point, with the chaos emeralds spent, Waluigi and the Demigods unable to access their powered up forms, Shaggy fucking dead (and poofed because it turns out he was the Shaggy that Axol drew on Anime Island), and Creative Mode disabled.
Despite this they still stand up to keep fighting, with Waluigi pulling out a tennis racket(gloriously fitting), Desmond doing his best with his lance and shield, Steve breaking out the Diamond Gear, and Melony actually having Kirby use her sword to become Fierce Deity Kirby and pulling out Inkweaver to use herself.
Just about everybody still standing working together(including a surprise Lawyer Kong pulling a Cease and Desist for a brief stun at one point) just barely manage to take him down...except the boss music just changed keys instead of ending.
Mari0 grabs Luigi, stating that its fitting he'd use SMG4 Mario's brother to gain the power to destroy this world, given what happened to his own, and starts fucking absorbing all of his Meme Energy! This gives him the boost he needs to start draining the Meme Energy and Anti-Meme from everyone and everything around him, except for Mario because he wants his counterpart to ba awake enough to suffer and the Haltmann siblings thanks to their immunity to Anti-Meme energy.
Regardless, this allows Mari0 to assume his final form, Mari0 Soul('cause Kirby), with only Mario, the Haltmann siblings and Peach(who has no Meme Energy of her own thanks to the Worst Activation Ever) left standing to fight him
Except, as the fight wears on and it all seems hopeless, their friends start managing to jump back into the fray, still weakened from exhaustion, injuries, pain from the extraction, and the fact that they can't use memes to screw with reality like usual, but no less willing to help save the day
Even Yoshi manages to come back and sides with the heroes, allowing for a last-minute Big Super Move courtesy of the whole Seven Star Children thing Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Wario, Yoshi and Donkey Kong have going on(from Yoshi's Island DS) that Mari0 couldn't have possibly seen coming thanks to his origins. And now he dead and the Anti-Memes die with him
Now there's the cleanup, including dealing with the whole "Desti is a goo clone now" situation, detoxing everyone who got pumped full of Anti-Meme Energy (especially Susie), and figuring out what to do with a whole extra weak-but-fully-functional-and-stable Meme Cycle Set who on one hand are creations of the God Box meant to be used for evil but on the other hand are literal children who ultimately decided to be good the very first chance they got.
Also Yoshi now gets to join Peach and Welony in the "Attempting Redemption" group! Mario is probably going to be significantly more wary about this one, considering.
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duckapus · 2 months
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Equestrian Forms for "A Snake in Horseland"
Since the Arle Arc's nearing its climax I figure I should have these ready. Just focusing in species/Pony Tribe for now, I can figure out cutie marks and shit later.
The Crew (plus Antivirus, Mira and Amy because of course they'd come for this)
Mario and Luigi: Earth Ponies
3 and 4: Unicorns
Meggy: Hippogriff (doesn't have the ability to shift to seapony form)
Bob: Changeling (doesn't quite get the hang of transforming at first)
Boopkins: Dragon (barely looks any different tbh)
Saiko: Unicorn (specifically she has similar proportions to pre-curse Mistmane, including the long curved horn, but more muscular)
Tari: Pegasus
Melony: Alicorn (if you think she wouldn't be one given her abilities you're lying to yourself)
Juliano: Earth Pony
Toad (of course he's here they're trying to save his current house guest): Equestria doesn't know what tf to do with a talking mushroom and leaves him the same
Domain and Forum: Earth Ponies (since they're based on Mario)
Emulator: Unicorn
Antivirus: Changes back to his normal form before anyone can see
Mira: Griffon
Amy: Earth Pony
The Kids Note: not all of them are here because they were kind of on a time crunch for following Ozzy
Lil Coding: You'd think he wouldn't change since there's cat people in FiM (at least if you've seen the movie and comics) but they have specific proportions so there is still a change
Lily: Siren (so, Seapony but she also has a genstone lodged in the base of her neck)
Haltmann Triplets: Earth Ponies (since Elanore is mostly Mario's clone and if it weren't for their hairstyles and outfits Hex and Vee would be Elanore recolors)
Barney: Equestria has even less idea what to do with a robot than a mushroom so there's no change
Fever Quartet Like Sig would leave one of his bug-finding buddies hanging
Amitie: Pegasus
Raffina: Earth Pony
Klug: Unicorn
Sig: Pegasus, but his demon arm manifests as a red bat-like wing
The Anchors (and necessary tagalongs)
Link: Earth Pony
Doc: Domestic rodents already exist in Equestria
Frida: Deer
Timmy: Unicorn
Cosmo and Wanda: Already natural shapeshifters. They initially end up as Breezies but retain all their usual abilities so it's mostly just yet another disguise rather than replacing their usual default forms
Rodney: Earth Pony in base form, Alicorn in Champion form
Mina: Pegasus
Harmony: Her status as Spirit of Heart trumps Equestria's Mirror Magic. No change.
Syndicate Scouting Team
Mr. Crocker: Earth Pony
Vlad/Plasmius: Unicorn/Ghost Unicorn with fake-but-functional bat wings replacing his cape so he looks like a vampiric Alicorn
Vaati: Initially a Breezie Because Picori, quickly changes into a Unicorn
Lokoko: The biggest most ethereal damn deer you ever did see
Admin Gohma: Changeling Queen (has the proportions and more dragon-like eyes of Chrysalis but the bright colors and solid, less zombie-like build of the reformed changelings)
And then I've already said that Ozymandias ends up as a Dragon and Kirin and Garyboy ends up as a Pegasus in my post where I came up with them ending up in Equestria.
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Thought of who the new Avatar might end up being:
Basically, Professor E. Gadd is somehow still alive after all these years, and since he operates out of Evershade Valley he wasn't in the Mushroom Kingdom while shit was going down. And as the years go on and all the heroes get captured, corrupted or lost, he realizes that they need to bring something new to the table. So he reaches out to his old rival Susie to see if she'd be willing to collaborate with him on a cloning project and-
it's Elanore it's literally just an alternate origin story Elanore.
Since she's being created with the intention of being a hero instead of an Avatar, she isn't flooded with Meme Energy during her creation and comes out at around the same relative age as Lily, and Hex and Vee don't get made. She still builds Barney, but he's based on the Giant Clank form instead of regular Clank and can transform into a custom Robobot Armor for Elanore to pilot. They're both equipped with the best weapons and gadgets Haltmann Works Co. and Gadd Industries have to offer, as well as extensive training.
And they have absolutely no idea that in a few years' time or less Elanore is going to inexplicably become slightly crazy and very, very stupid.
The two of them and Lily's team very understandably don't trust each-other at first, to the point where the Haltmann kids introduce themselves as Agents E & B, which is not helped by this timeline's versions of Lily and Elanore having clashing personalities (RPG Protagonist Rivalry, anyone?), but there's a tentative alliance between them since they seemingly share the same goals.
YESSS.. Oh I love this a lot. There'd probably even be more clashing once Lily realizes the signs of Elanore starting to become SM64's new Avatar. While she know she shouldn't, she just can't help but feel resentful. Why does Elanore get to become an Avatar when she clearly knows nothing about it? Why not someone else of the Mario cast?
But YESS I love this a lot. *adds it to the AU*
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