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#baldur doesn't look like a real word anymore
wolfiemun-official · 22 days
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Shadowheart got tuckered out while repairing the farm
Not to fear! Lae'zel and her red hen, Quiche, will make sure she's safe while she sleeps 🐤
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justporo · 8 months
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I don't have any real writing in me but... I've been thinking about Astarion and Tav sharing a domestic life so much - maybe it's time for some headcanons again?
Domestic headcanons about Astarion and Tav settling down in Baldur's Gate
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Tav likes to cook, and now they can experiment with a real kitchen. Astarion just loves sitting at the table in the kitchen reading or talking to Tav to take in the delicious smells and watch his soulmate bustle around the kitchen
He also likes to try what Tav comes up with; he doesn't need to eat and "Why should I waste my time eating something... dull. But your cooking, my love, is quite exquisite!"
Let's not talk about Tav's first tries at baking though, but Astarion tries to be nice... at first. "If you were going for briquette, my love, than it's indeed quite perfect." ("It was meant to be chocolate shortbread but thank you so much for the encouragement, Astarion...")
In their small little backyard garden Tav plants lots of night blooming flowers so Astarion can enjoy it as well
Sometimes they just lay there on a blanket and star gaze; "Do you have a favourite star constellation, Astarion?" Astarion gazes over at you while you keep looking at the night sky "Your eyes, my love." "Ugh, you're so corny sometimes!"
In winter Astarion loves to join Tav to go to the market and run errands, he also very gentlemanly carries their bags (although not all the way because "Love, what are you putting in all those bags? Cobblestones?")
Sitting in the window alcove and watching the twinkling lights of Baldur's Gate at night and the stars above: that's one of their favourite places in their house
Astarion got Tav into the legends of Drizzt so they sometimes read together; Astarion does a very dramatic Drizzt voice (Tav finds it hilarious and almost chokes laughing every time)
Also maybe Tav gets him like a collector's edition of Drizzt's legends as a gift sometime - nicely bound in fine leather and with illustrations (Astarion is awestruck and also learns that day that it's fine and nice to share your interests with someone who appreciates you)
Also maybe sometimes when they're adventure funds run out, Astarion thinks about getting back into law, "making it right this time" - because he IS smart and could pull it off
Should I keep going? I could keep going...
Also I am not using the word fluffy again here anymore, I'm terrified of it now since I always used to smuggle another "l" in there...
The part about Astarion getting Tav into Drizzt's story was inspired by another post I will hopefully find and link later on!
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leighsartworks216 · 8 months
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No Alarms and No Surprises, Please
Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
I had this idea and decided to write it "real quick" (it took like two hours). I meant to do just like a really short thing so I could eat lunch and then get back to work, but then my brain was like no we gotta set up context
Titled after the song "No Surprises" by Radiohead. It doesn't exactly fit, but it felt right in my mind
Warnings: mentions of murder, tense moments, injury, burning flesh, bruises, bones breaking, blood mention, nausea mention, angst, literal hurt/comfort, soft Astarion moments
Word Count: 1,863
Main Masterlist
First Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist - Second Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist
AO3
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You peeked slowly around the corner, holding your breath. Astarion hovered just behind you, almost touching you as you both surveyed your surroundings.
It was a palace, that much you knew. You also knew the guards were exceptionally strong. You already wasted enough healing spells and potions on the two guarding the door - you were just lucky they didn’t call for reinforcements. You also knew there was an artifact deep within the heart of this place that could provide some insight into removing the tadpoles.
“We’ll have to go around,” you breathe out slowly to the spawn. He gives a slight nod. As much as he loved bloodshed, sneak-killing all of them would be too high a risk. You almost came face to face with him when you look over your shoulder. He gives you a knowing smirk as he backs off. You nod down a side-hall. “That way.”
You gesture to Gale and Shadowheart, making sure they knew the plan. They nodded, waiting. You turn back to the patrolling sentinels. Their movements are constant and predictable, each pace following the same amount of steps. They sync, facing away from your destination, and you wave a hand for a companion to go.
Gale, ever the gentleman, lets Shadowheart go first. She hides behind the wall, out of sight. You wait again and gesture for Gale to go. He bites back complaints about his knees that creak under the duress of sneaking. He arrives just as a guard turns. Astarion could hear your heart thumping wildly in your chest; it pounds so loud in your ears you can’t even hear the guards’ footsteps anymore.
He wraps a hand around your waist, carefully pulling you away from the corner. You stare at him, worried he’s noticed something wrong. He nods toward the hall where your companions wait. “You first,” he whispers.
You want to argue - he can see the wheels turning in your head as you frown at him. As the de facto leader, you always worked to ensure everyone else was safe before you. You rested a little easier knowing you’d be the one in harm's way should something go wrong. But Astarion was a rogue, and used to sneaking around to boot. He would be much better at timing his dash to the hall than you could.
After a moment, you nodded. He pushed you back to his prior spot as he takes your place, poking an eye around the corner and studying them. He thought you’d die of a heart attack if this went on any longer. When the guards turn, he taps your waist. You crouch as quickly as you can to Gale and Shadowheart. They greet you with a tense nod.
You wait in silence for Astarion.
He almost spooks you when he comes silently around the corner. But now, further from the immediate threat, you have a chance to breathe.
The hallway stretches on for what seems like forever. Closed doors and open arch-ways line each side, perfectly mirrored. At the end, there’s a very small statue - but you’re sure it’s life size up close. The prospect of a maze with the ever-looming fear of getting caught doesn’t exactly thrill you, nor any of your companions, but nothing can be done for it.
You sigh and lead them onward.
It’s too risky to peek inside the rooms - if there were patrols inside you’d all be jumped and killed within minutes. At each arch, you glance around the corner, down the other equally as endless corridors. It’s oddly quiet. Not a guard in sight, even on grander doors that seem like they should be protected. It leaves you on edge. Waiting for the boot to drop and leave you in mortal peril. At the very least, you feel safe enough to stand up. It saves you from Gale’s grumbling.
You peer around another corridor and try to imagine the layout of the palace. You’d found a map once, but it was too tattered to make anything useful out. The most information you gleaned from it was where the staircases were. If you could find your way to one of those, you’d be able to go down, deeper into the belly of the beast. You believe, if your slipping memory of the map was correct, you could turn down this way and go all the way to the end, and there would be stairwells on either side of the very-tiny-life-sized-statue.
Resolved to your plan, you step through the ornate marble arch. You feel the pain before you register where it’s coming from. You collapse to the floor, cushioned only by a strong arm and solid body. A hand clamps over your mouth, pressing down tight to keep any sound from slipping through.
Oh. That breathless tightness in your chest is not from the pain. It’s you screaming. Trying to, at least. Your eyes dart frantically around as your body writhes against the person holding you. Gale and Shadowheart appear in front of you, kneeling down and working as fast as they can to help.
One of your legs feels weighed down. You stare at the chunk of metal for too long before it finally registers the trap clamping down on your leg. It looks and acts like a bear trap, but it’s been improved to burn red-hot when activated.
Fear grips you like a vice. You become conscious of the fact the teeth of the trap are almost meeting. It’s bitten through your bone. Or nearly through, anyway. You didn’t process it, too busy being victimized by the sadistic mechanics of the device, but Astarion, Shadowheart and Gale all felt nauseous as the crack continues to echo in their mind.
“Shh,” comes a whisper by your ear. You whimper and gasp and struggle, but the arm around your waist only re-wraps around you to pin your arms down. “It’s alright, I’ve got you.”
Astarion looks away from your injury, peering down the halls. The sound of the bone snapping was loud enough to attract attention, he just didn’t know how much, or when they’d be coming. Not to mention where they’d come from. For all he knew, their luck had run out, and any second a swarm of golden-armored bastards would be charging down the hall they were in.
“We need to get out of the open,” he hissed to the cleric and wizard.
Gale cast an ice spell, focusing all his energy in freezing the hinge of the device. If he could get it cold enough, it would become brittle, and they could dismantle it and pull it from your leg like cracking open an oyster. Shadowheart focused on healing the burns being inflicted to your skin as they were happening. It smelled uncomfortably like meat roast. Your blood vessels were cauterized. Astarion could hardly take solace in the fact when the usually-delicious scent of your ichor was replaced with the smell of cooking flesh.
“We can’t move them yet,” Shadowheart whispered, barely biting back her panic. She couldn’t keep healing you forever.
Gale grunted, brow furrowing further as he willed the ice to freeze faster, freeze colder around the metal.
Astarion felt useless, watching and unable to help. Holding you while you thrashed in agony was all he could do. He hoped to the gods he wouldn’t reveal a bruise over your mouth when this was finished. “I’m here,” he whispered sweetly in your ear. It was all he could think to do. “You need to keep still, love. It’ll be over soon.”
The words didn’t reach. You knew he was speaking when his breath fanned over your ear, but the speech-centers of your brain were thoroughly turned off. As were any of the logic-centers. Anything that could have told you they were helping, to calm down and stop moving, was replaced instead with klaxons and sirens urging you to struggle and fight back against the pain.
Footsteps. Loud and clanging. Getting closer. Astarion cursed. “We have to hide,” he hissed again, panicked.
There was no time to argue. They all seemed to have the same idea as Astarion pushed himself across the floor with his legs, pulling you with him. Shadowheart and Gale stopped casting in favor of moving your legs, as carefully as they could possibly manage. Hot tears slipped over Astarion’s hand as you thrashed violently with the motion. But now, at least, you were tucked into a corner. Hidden behind a pillar that framed the arch of the hallway. Everyone held their breaths. You didn’t catch the memo, but the spell-casters held your legs down so you wouldn’t make as much noise.
The clanging of armor rose in volume until the echoes through the corridors nearly deafened everyone. You momentarily stopped fighting. Though, Astarion couldn’t tell if it was because the sound had reached past your pain, or if your body was giving out under the duress.
The steps - 3 guards, if Astarion had to guess by ear - slowed from a run to pacing the juncture of the halls. They circled around, stopping occasionally. One set of steps stopped mere feet away. If Astarion leaned forward slightly, he could make out the point of a nose. Shadowheart and Gale slowly pressed themselves back into the shadow of the pillar.
Something touching his hand startled him. He had to fight not to physically jump and draw attention. A hand, your hand, rested weakly over his. He let go of your arm and turned his hand to hold yours. He could feel you whimper in his hold, the shake of your breaths as they hit hot against his hand. You were scared. He was, too.
He squeezed your hand and looked back at the pillar. The steps hadn’t moved. The sentry was still there.
Seconds ticked away at a snail’s pace. They all worried for a moment the guards had chosen to stay there and patrol the intersection. Then the sentinel stepped back from the arch. More footsteps followed. A pause. He could only imagine they were silently saying they did not find anything. And then the cacophony of armor drowned out any last doubt as they retreated back down the hall.
They all let out sighs of relief, even Astarion who had no need for air. He turned his focus back down to you. Your eyes were shut, your breaths were evened out. You’d fallen unconscious. It was a small mercy.
“Hurry up so we can get the Hells out of here,” he huffed. Shadowheart and Gale nodded, equally as eager to get back to safety, and returned to work.
Astarion slowly removed his hand from your mouth. Light bruises where his fingertips had been began rising through the surface of your skin. He sighed, upset at the pain he caused even through necessity, and brushed a tender kiss over the darkest of the bunch. He was too overwhelmed with relief to care if the others saw him. “You’ll be alright,” he whispered again, even though they did not reach you. He was reassuring himself more than anything. It would have been pathetic, if he could think about anything other than your wellbeing. “I’m here, darling.”
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taggedmemes · 4 months
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SENTENCE MEME BALDUR'S GATE 3 / PART FOUR
i'll feed your innards to the ants before i do that.
you're not here to play with the locals.
question, kill, then move on.
fail her at your peril.
were i not merciful, i would slice the skin clean from your meat.
i am nothing if not merciful.
tell me: why shouldn't i run you through this instant?
you are nothing until i tell you otherwise.
nothing even approaching a useful thought in that skulll.
it costs me nothing to spare your sorry life.
i required your silence and you made me a mockery.
save your anger for the enemies.
i will skewer the jeretic with his own silver sword.
don't trust a word out of her mouth.
you were supposed to rush to my defense.
fat lot of good you are.
she could shoot fireworks out of her backside for all i care.
i don't know what just happened any more than you do.
not my usual quarry, not my usual ally.
your faith is your own concern, not mine.
i didn't think you'd react so pragmatically.
in the future, i expect you to be honest.
as if mingling with a horde of goblins wasn't bad enough.
let's do what we have to, then get out of here.
let's not linger in this place any more than necessary.
pain without purpose is a terrible thing.
you bore the pain like a true believer.
i don't think i have the stomach for this.
this place was supposed to be abandoned.
a joy to see a familiar face in such a precarious setting.
a fine mess you landed yourself in.
how better to learn the ways of a people than to live among them.
one should cherish all of nature's bounty, but goblin guts are quite far down the list.
you're a true friend of nature, or perhaps a lunatic.
it's unbecoming to demand honorifics from the one who saved my hide.
you weren't speaking lightly when you said you needed help.
that doesn't mean i can't help.
you have my sincere sympathies.
the magic used is beyond me. it's either not of this world, or so ancient as to be lost to even nature's memory.
the natural order must be protected.
there's no order anymore, only chaos.
chaos is welcome in doses.
i'm practically an expert.
you're either an excellent storyteller or you've experiences something quite exceptional.
i'd be irresponsible not to debunk such a strange claim.
i cannot trust my own mind.
there is great potential within you.
you're looking for solutions in the wrong places.
if we work together, we may turn this around.
until it is found, i will take something precious from you every hour that passes.
silence now, or i will silence you forever.
he's been resilient, but he'll talk.
i will have an explanation, or your head.
i do not wish to spill blood here.
come daylight, we will find a place to end this.
you can accept you're wrong, or we'll be rid of you permanently.
you had every chance to look the other way.
you chose this.
don't expect to be mourned.
she's a liability.
thieves aren't afforded such luxuries.
loosen the grip on your pride for one blasted moment, won't you?
imagine what we might achieve if we channeled some of that hostility back at our real foes instead of each other.
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