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luxaofhesperides · 4 months

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For ghostlights: baby Ellie + tired Danny + Duke the baby whisperer?

He has no idea how his parents did it.

Babies are exhausting. Toddlers more so. Any infants in the strange stage in-between? Doubly so.

Ellie is wonderful and sweet and cute and such a terror that Danny genuinely has no idea how his parents managed to raise not one, but two kids. For all their eccentricities and absent-mindedness, he and Jazz turned out pretty well. Ignoring the whole halfa thing because that’s more his fault than theirs even if Jazz says they shouldn’t have created the dangerous environment in the first place.

That environment is exactly why Danny refuses to let Ellie go to his house in Amity Park. His parents say they’ve disabled all the weapons and ecto-sensors since he’s had to reveal himself as Phantom, but he knows that things slip their minds and if they can’t guarantee that the house is safe, then Ellie isn’t going in there. Simple as that.

This means that they live somewhere else now. Danny had thought about it, during the hours Ellie was asleep and he was awake, exhausted and worn down to his bones, and took Jazz’s advice to accept Vlad’s offer of buying a house for him. Except he argued Vlad down to an apartment in a city of his choosing where he wouldn’t stand out too much and he would be safe, or as safe as he can be, from anyone trying to hunt down ghosts.

So here they are. Standing in the empty living room of their new apartment in Gotham.

Gotham may not be very safe as a city, but it’s good for two ghosts trying to pass as normal.

Danny sighs yet again, and looks at the space he’ll need to fill. At least Vlad is footing the bill. It’s the least he can do for creating Ellie. Frostbite was the one who was able to stabilize her, though it was almost too late and resulted in her reforming as a baby, just one and a half years old. Jazz is the one who’s choosing most of the furniture, thankfully, so it’s something that Danny doesn’t need to worry about it.

It’s a new start to their lives and it feels so empty. So overwhelming. How did his parents do it? How do any parents do it?

Ellie smacks a small palm against his cheek and babbles lightly.

“I know, Ellie,” Danny says, giving her a tired smile. “Don’t worry, we’ll have this place looking good in no time.”

He adjusts her in his arms, then heads towards the bedroom. It’s the only room that has any furniture, and all that’s there is a bed, a crib, and a bookcase. There are a few boxes on the floor, labeled ‘bedroom’ and ‘clothing’ and ‘books’. Most of it came from his bedroom in Amity Park, but he’s pretty sure he caught Jazz sneaking a few things in before they closed the boxes and loaded them up into the car.

“Can you be good for five minutes?” he asks Ellie.

She babbles again and smacks his shoulder.

“I’m taking that as an agreement. Just let me open these boxes and start unpacking before you start causing trouble, okay?”

Ellie makes another sound, but it seems agreeable so Danny carefully lays her down in the crib and gets to peeling off the tape on the boxes. The opens the one labeled ‘bedroom’ first, finding blankets and sheets folded and stacked in vacuum sealed bags. One of them is his old childhood blanket, the one he carried around everywhere that was faded with age, barely blue, with white bunnies decorating it.

He was so small when he had this. It makes him oddly emotional to unpack it and pass it on to Ellie, draping it over her so her pudgy little hands can grab at it.

This is no time to cry, though! He forces himself to focus and makes his own bed, shaking out the sheets and fluffing up the pillows. He’ll worry about washing everything later; Vlad made sure to get an apartment with an in-unit washer and dryer, which means he was actually sensible while apartment hunting for Danny.

He doesn’t mean to flop onto the bed once it’s made, but he ends up there anyways. He’s barely gotten a full six hours of uninterrupted sleep since Frostbite deemed Ellie healthy enough to leave his care. The drive up to Gotham was long and wore him down to his bones.

He doesn’t mean to fall asleep, but he does, drifting off as he wonders, distantly, when Jazz will be back from getting them dinner.

Ellie wakes him up at dawn with a loud cry. Danny jolts awake, heart pounding in his chest as he panics because Ellie isn’t here, she’s supposed to be in his arms, where is she? And then he sees the crib, where Ellie is staring at him through the bars, and he nearly collapses with relief.

“Morning, El,” he says, voice rough from sleep, as he picks her up. She just stares up at him, then leans forward and rests her head against his shoulder.

It’s quiet moments like these that make his heart melt. Ellie’s had a hard life already; he wants to give her a better one, this time around.

A quick check of the time on his nearly dead phone shows that it’s barely past six in the morning, and Jazz texted him a few times. All about furniture, saying that she didn’t want to wake them and that food is in the fridge.

It’s only the mention of food that makes him realize how ravenous he’s feeling. Danny makes a beeline for the kitchen, ignoring everything else, and pulls out the boxes of take-out Jazz left stacked in the fridge. He devours it like he’s been starving for weeks, then gives Ellie her Ecto-Jello, the only food she’s allowed to eat until Frostbite gives the okay for solid, human food.

Once he’s got her burped and cleaned up, Danny looks out of the kitchen and realizes that Jazz was very productive while he was asleep. The living room isn’t empty anymore; a dark green couch is against the wall, a low, rectangular coffee table made of dark wood in front of it. Two armchairs are on both sides of the couch, and a television has been installed, fixed into the wall.

Jazz is asleep on the couch. Her legs hang off an armrest and she’s drooling slightly.

Her phone is charging on the floor, so Danny takes it and snaps a picture of her for later teasing, then sends it to himself and writes a note to her that he’s going out with Ellie to explore the neighborhood.

He’s finally feeling more settled, energized from sleep and food.

In the warm dawn light spilling in through the windows, Danny looks down at Ellie and thinks that they’ll be just fine after all.

. . .

Four months ago, Danny had hope. He was optimistic.

Gotham was a fresh start, a new lease of life for Ellie. It is Danny’s attempt to be a single parent, sacrificing college for Ellie, and he’s planning to go out and beat the gangs black and blue if they start anymore shootouts in the next year.

He had just gotten Ellie to sleep. She was actually peacefully taking a nap.

And then a drive by shooter raced down the street, gunshots echoing down the road, and Ellie work up crying. She still hasn’t stopped, despite how Danny rocked her, soothing her as best he could.

They had been outside when Ellie fell asleep, her head on his shoulder. He had been catching up with Sam and Tucker when the car drove by, people ducking and crying out to avoid the bullets. Danny instinctively covered Ellie and made them both intangible, saving them from any stray bullets, but they ruined her nap and he needs to make them pay for that.

“Shh,” he soothes, “You’re okay. We’re both fine. It’s okay, El, it’s okay.”

Her little hands clutch at his back, twisting the fabric of his shirt, and she lets out a heartbreaking wail. He pats her back, hurrying down the street to get back to his apartment building, ignoring the looks people were giving them as they passed by.

“I know it was scary, but you’re alright. You’re always safe with me, El.”

Ellie’s cries down down a little, but they don’t stop. She whimpers, burying her face against his shoulder as he finally reaches their apartment building.

The door’s locked, which wouldn’t be a problem except Danny can’t get his keys from his pocket. He knows he has them! But his pocket refuses to relinquish them and he has to stop every few seconds to pat Ellie’s back, trying in vain to calm her down.

“We’ll be inside in a second,” he tells her, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice, “as soon as I can get these freaking keys!”

“Hey, you alright?”

Danny startles, whirling around so fast it makes Ellie go quiet, clinging to him so she doesn’t get flung into the air. There’s a guy standing before him in a gray hoodie, looking at him with clear concern. It speaks to Danny’s level of constant exhaustion that he hadn’t clocked someone sneaking up behind him.

The guy offers an awkward smile. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you or anything. Um, do you need me to open to door? I live here too.”

Danny wonders for a moment if this someone dangerous, someone hoping to hurt Ellie, but she starts to cry again and he steps to the side. “Please. I can’t get my keys.”

“I’m Duke, by the way. I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.”

“Danny,” he replies, watching as Duke pulls out a large key ring, jangling with the amount of keychains on it, and easily opens the door. “I’ve been here a few months, but I’m usually inside. Or walking around in the mornings with this little monster.”

“That would explain it,” Duke says as he holds the door open, letting Danny in first. “I’m usually in classes at GCU, but I decided to take a mental health day after my lab, so here I am.”

Danny walks in and waits for Duke to follow, making sure the door closes properly behind them. “Thanks. How is GCU? What do you study? I was thinking of going there myself once she gets a little older and can go to school.”

“Oh, I’m majoring in English and Human Services.” He goes to say more, but Ellie wails again and Danny winces.

“I’m so sorry. That drive by woke her up and it’s really rattled her.”

“Hey, no need to apologize. I get it, Gotham is rough to kids.”

Danny tries rocking her back and forth, but it doesn’t help. He resigns himself to another hour of her crying before she exhausts herself, and makes for the stairs, going up to the fourth floor. Duke holds open the door again, then follows after them. It makes Danny wonder if Duke is planning to do something to them, then decides he can beat Duke in a fight, so it’s fine.

Duke doesn’t try to hurt them or steal Ellie away. He opens the door to their floor and stops before they do. “I’m in here,” he says, “If you ever need me to open more doors.”

“Thanks. Um, actually, I might need help opening mine?”

Duke just smiles and makes his way back to them, following them farther into the hall until Danny stops in front of his apartment.

“If I could just get my keys,” he starts.

“Here, let me hold her for a second so you can get them,” Duke offers. Danny wants to insist that it’s fine, but Ellie cries directly into his ear and Danny, at the end of his rope, passes her over.

Like magic, Ellie settles as soon as she’s in Duke’s arms. She sniffles and hides her face away, clutching to Duke’s hoodie, but she stops crying. They both go still, surprised, and stare down at her.

“Seriously?” Danny says as he finally pulls out his keys, “Are you trying to say that I’m the problem?”

Ellie babbles lightly, and Duke turns his head to futilely hide his grin.

He grumbles as he unlocks the door and pushes it open. Ellie is acting as if she’s never been upset before a day in her life, making herself at home in Duke’s arms.

“I can’t believe this. Betrayed by my own blood.”

Duke laughs as he follows Danny into his apartment, lightly patting Ellie’s back. “It’s always the smallest, cutest ones that do this.”

“Yeah? Do you work with a lot of kids or something? Used to being betrayed by the little ones?”

“I don’t work with kids per se,” Duke says, “But my foster family is a hot mess and the youngest of them likes to keep us all on our toes.”

“Family,” Danny says in a tired, fond tone.

“Family,” Duke agrees.

With his door open and Ellie calm, Danny’s ready to just lay face down on the floor for the rest of the day and not deal with anything else. He moves to take Ellie back, holding his arms out, and Duke tries to pass her over.

The key word being tries.

Ellie tightens her grip and kicks at Danny. She refuses to be taken away from Duke, making him awkwardly try to pry her off his hoodie. Danny really hopes Duke doesn’t notice how she goes slightly intangible to make his hands fall through her arms and legs. It shouldn’t be noticeable, but it’s hard to focus on anything but a kid that clings to you, so Danny holds out for Duke’s goodwill and silence.

“As nice as it is to meet you, you need to go back to your… parent?” Danny nods when Duke looks at him in askance. “You need to go back to your parent. Okay? Come on, kid, he’s waiting for you.”

Ellie shakes her head, makes a frustrated noise, and then turns and reaches out a grabby hand towards Danny.

She still refuses to be taken from Duke when Danny tries to pick her up again, so he settles with just letting her hold two of his fingers.

“I’m so sorry about this,” he says to Duke, face burning. This is why he hasn’t been going out and being social since he moved in; Ellie is a handful even on the best days, and Danny doesn’t want someone to judge him as unfit to parent her and have her taken away.

Duke shakes his head, stepping closer. “It’s all good, man. I don’t mind. It’s not like I had any plans today. I’m already skipping my classes, might as well spend it with you two than sleep all day.”

“Are you sure? I’d be happy to invite you in, but I know Ellie can be a lot and not everyone wants to spend their day off with a baby.”

“I’m sure. Besides, I’d just be down the hall anyways. It’s no skin off my back, man.”

“Well,” Danny says, stepping to the side to give Duke full access to his open doorway, “Come on in, then.”

Ellie keeps them connected, one hand in Duke’s hoodie and the other holding Danny’s fingers, and though her cheeks are still red from how hard she had been crying, she’s calm now with her eyes shining with mischief.

As the door closes behind them, Danny realizes that this is the first time someone he’s not related to has been inside his apartment. Not even Vlad has come in, always choosing to invite Danny and Ellie out for lunch instead.

It should make him nervous, but Duke is calm and easy going and kind.

He’s making silly faces at Ellie to make her laugh, completely at ease with her in his arms, as if he’s done this a thousand times before.

Gotham is a second chance at life for Ellie. It’s a sacrifice for Danny, to be alone and without friends or family around. He’d been ready to give up everything for Ellie, to focus solely on raising her, but with Duke filling his apartment with laughter, he thinks that he can make a life here too.

All he needs to do is take that first step, reach his hand out, ask Duke to stick around.

He can do this.

#ghostlights #dc x dp #dp x dc #dcxdp #dpxdc #dc x dp fic #prompt fill #my writing #i really love writing about characters struggling to be parents v suddenly and thru unconventional means #so here's danny a year out of high school living on his own for the first time w baby ellie #and duke who needed some space and independence while he's in college. bruce pays for the apartment while duke works part time for grocerie #and ellie who had been fully developed but unstable is now a halfa baby who remembers stuff but is also. yknow. a baby.#she absolutely latched onto duke to force danny to have a life outside of her. but also she can sense that hes kind and calm #which danny needs bc he is Stressed (tm)#this leads to duke bringing over food for them and looking after ellie while danny goes shopping or naps #both of them ignoring how duke has to leave suddenly for Hero Related Reasons and how danny and ellie have Powers #it's a v delicate balance they keep for the sake of keeping ellie safe #yeah they're gonna co-parent and realize they're basically dating after MONTHS of pining #the bats have bets on who gives bruce a grandkid first and literally no one bet on duke but here he is lol :)#thanks for the prompt!!

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mwagneto · 5 months

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rtd having to fight tooth and nail in the 2000s to put anything gay in dr who and in the process making scifi gay enough that now in the 2020s he can just do whatever the fuck he wants. they literally put the doctor flirting with a man IN THE TRAILER i'm gonna pass away

#the way I've been manifesting/predicting moc doctor with a male love interest since at least 2017 and now i get to have it. for free.#media made for me specifically!!!!!! barking and chewing and biting #like that's literally how they're marketing it. where torchwood literally had to straightbait to #balance out the . well yknow . now they just get to put it in da trailer AS A DRAW.#doctor who #15th doctor

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socksandbuttons · 5 months

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this is probably one of the last few blogs that centers around the familial bond that sams/laes focused on. please don't ever change. everyone else is so ship-brained, just talking about ships to the point of erasing family statuses just to make their ships work

Aw thank you i mean like i thrive on that more or less lol, plus like... itS SWEET AND SHOW NEVER GIVES IT TO US (the fact they bring solar back was great but ah the pain of like lunar being afriad of him for that while). Ships can be fun but like not ... a lot to go on in this show tbh (liek the most developed ship thats very sweet and natural feeling at least is monty and earth.) but its not centered on it either which is nice! Plus we have yn/robo content once in a while here. SAMS Fam time i do love, Lots to explore with it! Esp with other dimensions yess

#try not to stress over ship talk too much (i know it gets wild)#block the tag thats bothering you or whoever is posting about it #the anxiety of constantly seeing something will lessen there #you build your own experience online!#yknow this does mean i need a dad lunar au eventually too...#i need balance it out with eclipse and killcode #squints very hard at that.... i have one thoguht

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lavenoon · 11 months

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"I trust you."

@naffeclipse hope we all enjoyed the funnies because (:

*self insert is not a girl (he/ she)

og detective au by sunnys-aesthetic!

#post let luce #dcamv #bloodstain fool #my art #naffeclipse #cw blood #minimal but yknow. out of principle and because a lot more is implied #we'll probably go back to our usual program of pastel purple bg after this #bc i wont change it for every doodle page #it just did *not* feel fitting for this one fghdsj #relapses suck and in his line of work the consequences are dreadful #but a relapse does not negate the trying. it does not erase the recovery. theres a support system waiting for you.#anyways yes we had so many fluffy funnies apparently my brain had to balance it out #enjoy <3 #menace4menace

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trainingdummyrabbit · 24 days

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trying 2 figure out her stupid fuckig hairrr...

#immmmm getting there.. igotta give her th dumb anime floof now too since iguess thats what im doing w All of my favs.#much like the hair swirly..........#i like how i draw her eyes + expressions. outfit is mostly fine if a bit abbreviated. (<- icould get more fun w it) its just her /hair.../#the balance of Feathery but Flufy but Round but Not Too Flat. auhg. girlie ur killin me...#pikart #projmoon #the difficulty with feathery is that if i do it wrong it gets angular and then she just looks like. well. yknow. oops #. who i ALSO have to figure out. grabs and SHAKES #anyway behind the scenes artist rambles or something Its The Difficulties(tm)

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time-slink · 2 months

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when youre captioning and somebody says a number, how do you write it? bc when writing, you do 'one' 'two' etc up to ten and then 11, 12, etc. but what happens when someone says 'fifty-two hundred' out loud? do you write 5,200? then you've lost a tiny bit of information

#shush slinky #i think the trick when captioning is trying to balance 'give the same amount of information the audio does' and not—#writing so much that its impossible to read in time/is annoying #i prefer to err on the side of too much but im curious as to others opinions on this #also when people omit stutters/stammers. like maybe its seen as polite to do so but—#something is lost in that yknow. same when you leave out the tone of the words #it might get exhausting to read a descriptor of the tone before every line for sure but sometimes its pretty essential

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bramblestar334 · 1 month

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sighs deeply and thinks about davejadekatnep again

#bramblings :)#homestuck #dave strider #karkat vantas #jade harley #nepeta leijon #ONLY MAINTAGGING CAUSE I WANT PEOPLE TO SEE MY VISION #you could take any two out of these four and they would work well #something about all of them balances each other out yknow?

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laomelettedufromage · 11 months

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The aroace flag color picked from my profile picture of Wuxian because I am aroace and once I saw it I couldn’t unsee it

#this isn’t really me implying that I think wuxian is aroace although if you want it to mean that you absolutely can run with it #loh #legend of hei #wuxian #aroace #aroace flag #I’m largely unopinionated on the sexualities of anyone in the loh verse mostly just because it’s not really relevant for anyone??#so I don’t really care or think about it at all??#it’s really just whatever is funniest for the bit in the moment if anything lmao #EXCEPT for Lao Jun #lao jun IS aspec if not aroace it’s true he said it himself👀#I do not plan a lanxi zhen reread any time soon but I bet you could color pic the aroace flag from Lao Jun #there has to be an appropriate image for it out there #also I did cheat a little bit on this I did do a quick white balance #because once I had the images side by side the aroace flag looked SICKLY #and I was too lazy to take it back to the art program to fix lmao #lxh #legend of luo xiaohei #by yours truly the omelette of cheese #anyways it’s like if you just turned down the saturation on the aroace flag a little yknow

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supahstarrr · 5 months

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rock trolls [sketches]

#trolls #queen barb #sunny's art #val thundershock #im getting more comfy drawing trolls now :D #this was pretty fun although im kinda hungry and i need sleep since i was up all night drawing #drawing them both was pretty interesting bc i loved experimenting with the shapes nd stuff since in general #i just wanna see how i can draw trolls with different shapes. thus i drew poppy (a more rounded character) and then after that #i decided to draw these queens. who would have more sharpness to their design in my style #drawing val was slightly more interesting. considering that i find it fascinating that shes like an 'edgy' character but #with more roundness to her design yknow. like she does look spunky and sharp to an extent but not as much as barb #so it was interesting to see how my design of val would balance out sharpness and roundness #im really unsure if ill do like. a final piece with these sketches. i mean it would be cool to try but idk

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doedipus · 16 days

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a large amount of time I've been spending on -untitled undefined scope original fiction project- since the last time I posted about it has been trying to develop the protagonist concept I came up with last summer or whatever into like, a character that would feel real and era appropriate.

it's fun research to do. naturally a lot of the details I assigned to her are things that I already think are cool, so it's been a lot of fun trying to trace her traits back through the relatively recent past, getting reminded of how much things have changed, or where the gaps in my intuition are, and then doing a flurry of reading to get a sense for exactly how someone like her and the people around her could have happened and what her life was probably like leading up to her present day. hopefully this results in some good good verisimilitude.

#I wrote a short story from her perspective over the holidays and then didn't know how to continue it #and then I got distracted by real life stuff for a few months #I forget if I posted about that #and then I've been picking through archive dot org for the last few weeks looking at this stuff #the last big rabbit hole was trying to get a better feel for era appropriate ts/tv subculture #the current one I'm looking at is how she would've gotten into language learning and how that would've worked #nettle has been prodding me about the setting thing lately so I've been thinking about that more too #probably the biggest hurdle by far is figuring out how I want to play that #and how I want the thing to be divided up #since the original coc scenario I'm developing this out of is centered on a flight from LA to honolulu #and the airport dungeon was definitely meant to be a hook for a larger campaign #some amount of it is going to cover protag lady's failed life in LA and some of it is going to be worse things happening in hawaii #but it's like. how much do I want to balance it one way or the other #and realistically how much does the aesthetics of 20th century air travel add to the story #besides me personally thinking it's compelling ofc #a lot of what I find compelling about hawaii is that it's an east/west cultural crossroads and realistically that's also true of socal #and I can wax poetic about socal as much as I want without worrying all that much about mishandling something #and there's also a lot of socal specific history along similar parallels to pull from that I'm more familiar with #I guess it comes down to whether curiosity re: 'doing it right' is enough of a motivator to do the increased amount of research #which I guess it has so far with the above character details. so hopefully that will continue #but it also feels like using machine translation a bit yknow. it's hard to know how effectively I'll be able to sanity check #although depending on where this goes I might be able to get other people involved to sensitivity read down the line #with most of the creative things I do I just have a tendency to always rely really heavily on figuring things out myself #I also want protag lady to have a Cool Car and idk how to get that from point a to point b narratively #this is like an entire second or third post's worth of tags but I don't feel like unfucking this so whatever. suffer. I guess.

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caemthe · 4 months

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thought of the day:

pat, who isn't as intense as cú or as odd as dee, but a secret third thing:

a normal person

#crack. º ( running wild. )#/ yknow the more i think about it the more i realize pat would be the 'protagonist' in a sense bc #/ on their own cú is the protagonist of life™ and dee is the prophecy of doom that keeps the story going but when you put them #/ together + add pat. their super intense stories kinda cancel / balance each other and pat stands out more as your relatable hero #/ there's literally no use for this knowledge but i needed to throw it out there #/ congrats pat you're the mc of a story about picking up strays and discovering the power of friendship (and fighting the gods-)

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zeb-z · 5 months

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“Even if it’s not my fault, it’s still my accident, it’s still my mess. It’s still something that - exists, because I do” oh. and he just doesn’t know another way to help, either, because all his life has been screwing up without helpful direction in order to meet impossible standards, and so there is no other way than to bleed himself dry. for the cause, for a friend in need, for anyone he doesn’t know. especially for the problems that he himself creates, because to him his pure existence has always been the problem, because the elders were fucked as hell and traumatized him to no end - so even causing problems is a sin. a single mistake is a sin. it always has been. and it’s rough trying to learn anything other than that mindset - but Jay and Chip won’t let him struggle alone.

and it’s like - that’s what comes with being raised the way he was. punished for imperfection, but there’s no guidebook, no definition of perfect. and so perfect is never good enough anyway. it’s a trap and there is no winning, so there’s nothing else to do but take the blame and bear it, and internalize it. and it makes actual failure and actual mistakes that much more painful. of course responsibility needs to be taken for your actions - but when you’ve been taking responsibility for everything, up to and including the literal fate of the world, all of your life, every outcome is your fault. and guilt only builds, and resentment only festers. of course he hates the elders for how they treated him. of course he hates himself.

he’s grabbing his own destiny and making his own choices - but the thing about making your own choices is that there are so many of them. there’s no destiny to blame anymore. and all you can do is the best you can. and it’s not always going to be good enough. he’s learned plenty about failure, but with Jay and Chip around, maybe he’ll learn about second chances, and self forgiveness. maybe he’ll learn that accidents aren’t always met with extremes. and that he’s not the only one left to deal with a mess if he slips up and breaks something.

#after their talk and their big spar part 2 and everything I’m choosing to hope for the up and up #I just. I dunno. again. y’all ever think about how he never lays on hands to heal himself? because I do #I’m calling it what it is tw for the tags here but #passive suicidality. and it’s scary and tough to deal with especially under these conditions he’s under and it’s like #he’s someone who can be seen as bigger than life almost a moral role model. a hero of sorts. and still he thinks he’ll never be good enough #abuse will do that to a mf #but like. idk jay shot him and he forgave her. and chip can be a downright bastard and he still cares for him. as much as his own #morals and nature have rubbed off on the other captains they’ve also rubbed off on him. I mean sarcasm? pranks?#chip is valuing others more and more. and so maybe gillion will value himself more and more. yknow?#after every mistake he’s made and the others have made they’re still crew. family. and ain’t that somethin?#I dunno. taking responsibility isn’t just bleeding yourself out as retribution. there has to be a balance. and for gillion (and chip tbh)#that’s difficult. and something I am hoping they will continue improving on #idk. I have many thoughts without full articulation I’m just kinda spinning them all in my brain yknow #jrwi riptide 86 #jrwi #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #character analysis #z speaks

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velaraffricate · 11 days

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my blank cards came 😁 theyre kinda small and i regret not getting a bigger size but its exciting to actually start working on a phyiscal version of my divination deck. might make a separate blog for it once i get going on writing long form card descriptions and decide on a name.

#i can always get bigger cards and make a second deck later! im trying not to be too upset about it #working name is saduk but idk about that yet #word creation is honestly my least favourite part of conlanging i feel like they never quite come out right #it needs to have the right mouthfeel yknow. and my synæsthesia complicates things too #especially important words like this one need to be the right colour #saduk has a good mouthfeel but leans too orange. id like to evoke blue or purpleness #but my most blue/purple letters are l and f which have kind of a weak mouthfeel. need some plosives to balance it out #ramblings

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princessmacedon · 3 months

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eclair - do they want to one day be married?

it would be nice, for sure, but it isn’t a need! I think the primary example of romantic love in her life is Lena & Julian — and what she takes from that, which aligns with her own personal views and feelings, is that being together with your person is the most important part! sharing your lives together, making each other happy and apologizing when you hurt their feelings instead, finding solutions together… you don’t explicitly need a pretty ceremony or a special title to do that, and you don’t need to be married to be together for a long, long time!

basically, she cares more about the spirit of the word than the letter of it, but for sure she would like to find someone she can act married with HAHA ^^ she’s someone who thrives off of being with other people, and who truly feels that happiness shared is doubled.

that being said, while a wedding also isn’t a necessity, having one would make her really happy! it doesn’t need to be a grand thing, but i think she’s probably internalized it in a simple but romantic sort of way — a day with pretty flowers, where you share a meal with the people you love and promise your special person that you’ll keep cherishing them the way you have and more… or something like that NDNNENND sugar sweet, like the seed of a fairytale that grew into a simple, if flowery dream, Maria would be happy to… well, simply be happy!

#out of siblings #anruraiocht #thank youuuu for the ask!!#was scrunching up my face a bit with this one NDNDNDNDN trying to balance the way Maria was influenced by fairytales #but doesn’t expect or need them to be real if that makes sense?#the heart of the thing is to love and be loved #she definitely has romantic notions and flowery thoughts but she’s well aware that fairytales aren’t exactly based in reality #FRANTIC AND VAGUE HAND GESTURES. yknow? (doesn’t know)#ANYWAYS it was fun!! ty!!! 💞‼️

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alstroemerian-dragon · 10 months

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izuru is so interesting to me conceptually. like i know in canon he’s kind of nothing unfortunately. at least in game canon, he shows up right at the end, says some eugenics-y shit, voices hajimes intrusive thoughts, and then hes gone, but. the concept of him, as hajime, but with everything that made him Hajime Hinata stripped away and buried under so much conditioning and bullshit that he cant reach it, is so. its SO. yknow.

its the whole argument about what makes us the people we are, right? if you take a person, and then erase literally all the memories they have of their own identity, are they still that person? have you taken away everything that makes them Them and made them a completely different one? how does that change, and pardon the philosophical question, their soul?

and the thing about izuru is that you can not tell me the memory repression was perfect. you can not tell me that hopes peak academy perfected the art of lobotomy so well that they completely erased every speck of hajime hinata that existed inside izuru kamukura. that boy felt what was missing he knew there was a hole the size of the fucking ocean in his head and he felt every centimeter of it. did he care? up for debate. izuru didnt seem to care about anything, really (which… i have some thoughts about his eugenics conditioning by the academy in regards to that but thats maybe another post). but i definitely think given enough time, some of that would have started to come back. maybe even after the events of the first game, when the school was open again, and junko was dead, and izuru was able to actually explore the place he was held and experimented in and look at the files, and discover his old name. something like that would definitely trigger some memory recovery, or at least a moderate breakdown of some kind.

i dont know. people have said before that izuru is kind of an interesting metaphor for depression if you think about it, and theyre right, he is. he doesnt care enough about anything in life, he doesnt care about hygiene, nothing is going to catch and hold his attention because he thinks he knows how everything in the world works so whats the point in even trying? but he isnt just a metaphor. thats who hajime was during that time. now im definitely one of the people who thinks hajime was a pretty depressed kid anyway, unable to fulfill what he thought he needed to be, constantly pressured to be something he wasnt and couldnt be. but izuru was so much worse. they gave that boy fucking. ultimate depression. super high school level depression. i definitely think the only reason izuru didnt ever do anything drastic about how utterly miserable he was is because. a lot of it was background noise to him? his brain was just blocked off so those triggers were unable to fire? and because. to be honest. thats truly so much work. especially with the reflexes and instincts and empowerment the experiments gave him. and junko’s despair was just intriguing enough to keep him moving

its just something i think about. if someone had been willing or able to just. talk to izuru and offer him a hand. understand that he was hurting and that he didnt have to be. that just because there were holes in his identity didnt mean he couldnt create his own pieces to fit into them. i truly think that if he’d had that kind of presence during the tragedy his brain would have unlocked itself. maybe not all the memories would come back, but he’d be able to feel stuff again at least. and thats… something.

#personal #meta #danganronpa #izuru kamukura #izuru is such an interesting meditation on memory and emotional resonance #and the game and anime do NOTHING WITH IT #im in the depths of planning the deprogramming au which means im thinking about izuru a lot #and about healing and depression and trauma and shit #and how just having someone who cares so so much as an example. someone who clearly cares about YOU.#can be exactly what you need to realize how much pain youre actually in #like its not gonna fix it. someone caring about you isnt gonna fix your depression #and thats a balance im trying to figure out how to strike #how to help izuru combat his bone deep depression while not having his relationship with hiko like. fix him. yknow #and i dont even mean in a romantic sense as stated before this ones a SLOW slow burn

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