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reiderwriter · 10 months

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Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You🃏

Chapter 1 of That's What You Get

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Word count: 5.2k

Summary: After three weeks on a case in Vegas and a particularly draining phone call from your mother, you decide to take Reid up on his offer to show you the sights of Las Vegas. When you wake up the next morning, you realise one of those sights was a 24hour Wedding Parlor, and that you're now Mrs. Reid.

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, loss of memory, marriage (yeah that needs a warning), mommy issues, mentions of emotional abuse, implied sex scene, use of handcuffs in a sexual way, they theorize a possible creampie but I will neither confirm nor deny at this point, talk of contraception, no actual smut though, you guys are gonna have to wait for that. 18+ Minors DNI

A/N: The first chapter is here! Sorry for drawing you in with a silly little premise and then giving you mommy issues, I swear that after this chapter it's not bought up all that much. If you enjoy this chapter, you can sign up to the series taglist here, check out my masterlist and if you want leave a request! :D have fun reading!! ✨

Las Vegas, city of sin and entertainment capital of the world. Population approximately 600,000, home to the most famous casinos in the world, and unluckily for you, your latest unsub.

You’d been in Vegas for three weeks trying to hunt down this specific murderer, but now the case was all wrapped up and you could finally breathe, the weight of the stress you’d been carrying for almost a month now dissolving as you finally finished up the paperwork in the local precinct.

“Thank god that’s over. I cannot wait to be in bed with a good book and an empty head,” you groaned as you met the eyes of Penelope Garcia, your favorite tech analyst in the entire world and absolutely the only one you knew. She’d ended up having to join you on this case because some of the crime scenes just happened to be casinos that weren’t so happy sharing their data, but also didn’t want to be lumped with the warrant from the FBI. She’d been working between their offices and the precinct, and looked just as haggard as you felt.

“Oh, I feel you sister, this free travel experience thing is nice, but I would like to be back at my own perfect little desk hovel ASAP, thank you very much.” The two of you shared a small laugh, and then began collecting your stuff.

“Come on now, baby girl, you’re telling me that you don’t want to hit up the strip while we’re here? See the sights a little?”

“Sweet cheeks, I have been working from the most harrowing of surveillance units all week on that very strip. I have already seen the sights and they were not pretty, and definitely not worth using up my precious vacation time for.”

“Unfortunately Garcia, I don’t think you’ll be needing to use any of that vacation time to stay here,” Hotch announced as he walked in, and every member of your team snapped to attention to hear what he had to say. “I just got off the phone with Quantico, there’s a storm cloud moving in directly in our flight path and we haven’t been cleared for take off. They’re extending our stay by another day.”

“Shit,” you let out a silent curse, and noticed that your other team members didn’t seem all that happy about it either. JJ quickly excused herself from the room to call Will, Garcia let out a faux sob and fell back into her chair, and Rossi had the look of abject Italian disappointment on his face that he usually only got when you talked about your love of pineapple on pizza.

“How’s about that drink now, baby girl?” Derek Morgan teased, but it was half-hearted and you knew it. You were all desperate for bed, and you could only imagine the mistakes you would make if you went drinking now after the month you’d all just survived.

The only member of the team who didn’t seem put out quite yet was Reid, but you chalked that up to the fact that this place was his hometown.

“If you guys do change your mind, I know a bar downtown where you’re 34% less likely to be propositioned, robbed or over-charged.” He smiled over at you, and you couldn’t help but let out a giggle knowing the man was 100% serious.

“Dare I ask how you found that statistic, Reid?” Emily inquired from the other corner.

“One part actually reading the annual crime report, one part personal experience?” Reid replied, and you laughed again, unable to hold it back.

“Count me out, thank you,” you replied, and you could have sworn for a second you saw a flash of disappointment flash over his features, but you didn’t get the chance to question it, because a call was lighting up your phone screen.

You quickly excused yourself and moved to pick up the call from your mother.

“Mom, hey, what’s up?”

“What, I can’t check in on my daughter now for no reason?” you sighed and rubbed your temples, knowing exactly how this phone call was going to go, because it was how the last ten calls home had.

“Yes, mom, of course you can. How are you?”

“Terrible. Cindy’s daughter is getting married, and it’s all she’s talking about now. Can you believe it? The girl was absolutely wild when you were friends with her in high school and now she’s settling down with a lawyer of all people. Someone should warn that young man before he realises what he’s got himself into,” she scoffed on the other end of the line and you did your best to not get worked up. If you got angry it only made her more self-richeous.

“I know, Mom, Jessica sent me an invite, and I’m sure Trevor knows exactly what he’s getting into since they’ve been dating since high school.”

“Well, how was I supposed to know that? You never tell me anything.”

“I’m sorry, Mom, I’m in the middle of a case right now, can I call you back later?” You did your best to escape the conversation before it devolved into something you really didn’t want to talk about, like yourself, and more specifically your love life. But the gorgon had you frozen through the line and you weren’t about to make the mistake of hanging up on her.

“I’m sure your boss could spare you for five minutes, over-working you like he does. You haven’t had the time off to come and visit me since you got that fancy little job of yours, so you can do me this favor at least.”

“Sure, mom.” At times like this, you knew it was best to just let her talk and ride out the wave.

“And I’m sure you don’t even have time to date. Are you taking care of yourself, at least? Making sure you’re at least presentable, I hope? Its like I always say, you could meet your future husband in one of those precincts, you know. Get a big, strong man to take care of you.”

You had to resist the urge to throw your phone. You’d explained to your mother time and time again that you were perfectly content being the big, strong man for yourself, but there was absolutely no getting through to her. You received one of these phone calls everytime one of her friends or coworkers kids announced an engagement, got pregnant or bought a house, three things that she was desperate for you to do, as well. As soon as you saw the instagram post from Jessica you’d been counting down the days, almost thankful for your mothers lack of online presence.

“A crime scene isn’t exactly the most charming of meet cutes, Mom.”

“Well, then what about Virginia? There are some fine men working at the FBI surely. What about that one coworker of yours, what was his name?” Your heart-race increased for a moment, praying she wasn’t about to put a thought in your head that you wouldn’t be able to escape.

“Derek Morgan, was it? Now, that’s a fine young man.” This time you couldn’t stop the startled cry that came from your mouth. Sure, Morgan was an incredibly attractive man, but he’d joked around with you like a brother ever since you’d taken down your first unsub with the team. Your team was your family and your support system on the road, and they had your back on the case, so really, had your mother said anything, you’d have responded with incredulous guffawing. Hotch was like your dad, Rossi a fun Great-Uncle or something. You saw the sister’s you’d never had in JJ and Emily and of course Garcia was your best friend and you shared so many likes and dislikes that you regularly joked about being long-lost twins separated at birth. And Reid was Reid.

“Just give dating some thought, would you at least? The clock is ticking for you, you know.”

“Mom, I’m not even thirty yet. I’m in no rush.”

“That's what your Aunt Linda said, and look at her.” Your Aunt Linda was a perfectly content single woman in her late forties who had a high paying executive job, in NYC of all places, so yeah, you were in no rush at all.

“Listen, Mom, I’ve got to go, Hotch is calling me into the office to talk about some case files. I’ll speak to you later?”

“God, it’s like you don’t even want to talk to your mother for even five minutes. Go on, then, go do your big fancy job. Call me soon.”

“Yeah, Mom, I will.” And with that you finally hung up. Running a hand through your hair you paused for a breath for a second, closing your eyes and letting your hand just grip your hair for a second before releasing your breath for a second.

In the grand scheme of things, you knew that your mom wasn’t all that much to complain about. You and Emily had bonded over your respective mommy issues early in your time on the team, and you knew a lot of the other team members were either lacking some family member or the other, so you were just thankful that she was still around to annoy you, but god did she make it difficult sometimes.

Realising that any second, you’d have one profiler or the other come find you and ask you (with the best of intentions) what was wrong, you plastered a smile on your face and walked back into the office. You didn’t exactly want to relive that call anytime soon.

“Back so soon, Y/N? I thought that was your mom,” Morgan questioned you when you stepped back in.

“Yeah it was. One of my friends from highschool is getting married and you know how she loves to gossip.” You’d learnt early in the profession that you were in that the best way to hide something was to tell the truth about it for as long as you could, and then change the subject.

“Hey, Reid, you still up for a drink at that bar?” You looked hopefully at the man in the corner, and prayed noone would bring up your absolute change in attitude. “I was thinking a glass of wine or two after a successfully closed case couldn’t hurt, right?”

“Yeah, sure. You wanna head back to the hotel first and change, or do you want to go from here? Hotch said we’re free now until 2pm tomorrow.” You could see a questioning look from Morgan to your left, but you kept your vision focused on Reid, quietly thankful for the rest of the teams disinterest.

“Give me five to drop off my badge and gun in my room and freshen up a bit and we can be on our way. If this bar is bad though, Reid, you know I’m never letting you hear the end of it, right?”

“I ran the statistics, there’s only a 14% chance you’ll dislike it.”

“You know what’s scary is, I can’t even tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.”

–x–

Sarcasm or no, you had to admit, the bar he’d taken you to was pretty nice. It was a low-lit bar only a twenty minute taxi ride from your hotel and whilst it wasn’t exactly on the strip, it wasn’t so far out to be inconvenient. The best part about it was that it was lined with bookshelves, and each booth was blocked off by another, making it feel more like a library than a watering hole. You almost forgot you were in Vegas when you stepped in.

“Yeah, this is definitely a Spencer Reid place,” you said as you took the final swig of your wine, the glass you’d ordered on arrival having gone down easier than you’d expected.

“How so?” Spencer said as he returned to your table, carrying the replacement drinks he’d gone to order with him.

“Come on, Spencer. I’ve never seen the inside of your apartment but I’m sure it’s just this place with less furniture and more books.”

“Y/L/N, are you profiling me right now? Because that sounds pretty close to profiling?” Spencer teased and you rolled your eyes at him, grabbing your next drink from him and giving it a stir - the wine was good but at the price per glass you’d decided maybe cocktails were the thing for tonight.

“Besides, you did mention wanting to curl up with a book tonight, so I thought this bar was probably a good fit for you too.”

“Whose profiling who now, Doctor?” It was his turn to roll his eyes, and he took a sip of his drink. You knew he didn’t drink that often, but he seemed pretty open to the idea tonight, and you were absolutely glad for the company.

“Okay, I won’t profile if you don’t, but do you mind me asking you a question, Y/N?”

“Fire away,” you were playing with the stirrer in your cocktail, waiting for him to ask the question but he’d hesitated for a moment before speaking again, causing you to look up directly into his eyes.

“What’s going on with you and your mom? I don’t mean to pry and I didn’t overhear any of your call earlier or anything, but when you came in again you were all tense and you had that strained smile on your face. Then you suddenly changed your mind and decided we should get drinks so, I’m just guessing here, but you could probably do with talking about it, right?”

You let out a groan and let your head hang a bit. Yeah, you were starting to regret taking that role in the team of profilers. But at least Reid was sincere, and you knew his intentions were good. Of all the members of the team, you’d probably have described him as the safest. It was strange to think, considering all the comfort you found in your other friends, but there was just something so reassuring about Reid’s presence, the way most people overlooked him at first, how he could easily fall into his work and how you could see the cogs moving in his head as he made one genius leap to another that just made you think that everything was going to be okay if he was there.

So because it was him, you decided to talk.

“She’s just…She’s just a little much sometimes, you know?” He smiled back a knowing smile, but didn’t try to add anything and encouraged you to keep going.

“She’s been really persistent recently in bothering me about hitting some of lifes big milestones - marriage, kids, you know? And it always leaves me in a panic because though I’m pretty sure I want those things just yet, I don’t want the pressure of having them yet.” You swallowed the bile in your thoat and continued

“Everytime she says something, I feel bad that I don’t have them. And the way she talks about them its like they’re some kind of… of personal failure, that I’m not trying hard enough to catch a man or something, and I just wonder what if she’s right?” You start slow but you feel yourself gaining pace as you begin rambling, by the end you’re left wondering if Reid even caught any of that.

“I’m perfectly content living alone, but what if I’m secretly not, and I end up forty and alone and can’t even get a guy to look at me.”

“I can pretty confidently say that that’s not going to happen, Y/N.” Reid replied when you finally grabbed your drink ready to take another sip.

“How come?”

“You won’t have to put any effort into catching a man, Y/N.” Reid replied.

“You’re saying that because you’re my friend and you care about me Reid, of course you think that.”

“No, I’m saying that as an FBI Profiler that’s noticed the barman, the man on a date in the corner and the group of guys smoking outside the door eye you up since we’ve been here. And considering we’ve been doing paperwork all day, and the only change in your appearance since 8am this morning was the fresh coat of chapstick you put on while we were in the taxi, I’d think you hadn’t really put that much thought into what you look like right now.”

“You’re exaggerating,” and you really believe that, until you turn to look at the guy on the date and see him avert his gaze from you quickly, and you realise there might be something in what he’s saying.

“Okay, but that still doesn’t mean that I need or want to hear those things from my mother.”

“Y/N, take it from me, mother’s can be complicated.”

“God, I feel so stupid talking to you about something so trivial with my mom, I shouldn’t be doing that, we’re here to have fun.”

“Y/N, its okay. I can do the mommy issues talks, I’m perfectly qualified, but…” he trails off and grabs his drink for another sip and you find yourself hanging off his words begging for him to bring you more comfort and spoken caresses.

“But what, Reid?” you finally ask, as you realise he’s dragging this out on purpose to tease you a little.

“But how about a distraction instead? Have you ever been in a Las Vegas casino with a man that is banned from gambling in most of them?” He wiggled his eyebrows a little as he asked that and you giggled again, grateful for the reprieve from the serious talk.

“That doesn’t sound all that fun, Spencer.”

“Oh yeah, it’s not, but we could always use those vouchers we got as a token of appreciation earlier in the bars and drink some pretty fancy alcohol?”

“Spencer Reid, you are finally speaking my language.”

“I’m still speaking English Y/N, but if you wanted me to switch to russian or some other language, I could accommodate that depending on your linguistic preference.”

“It was a joke, Spence, now let’s get out of here.”

With that, he stood and dramatically offered you his hand like a gentleman, placing your hand in the crook of his elbow when you took it and guiding you swiftly out of the sweet bar. You were with Spencer, your safe friend, close work colleague and probably the least likely member of the BAU Team to get into trouble in a bar in Vegas. What’s the worst that could happen? You thought, as you took a final step out into the humid night air of Las Vegas.

–X–

The first thing you noticed in the morning was the pounding in your head, and it was pretty much the only thing you noticed for quite some time. When you managed to finally unglue your eyes, the second thing you noticed that this definitely wasn’t your room. The third thing you noticed was the gaping hole in your memories that explained how you possibly could’ve ended up wherever it was that you were. Or really any memories from the night before at all.

Letting out a quick groan you sit up in bed and take stock of your surroundings. Although the layout is different, you quickly recognise the interior matches the hotel you’ve been staying at, so you’re thankful that you’re at least somewhere relatively safe, and most likely in familiar company. The room looks to be neat on the whole, but there’s obvious signs of a drunken escapade strewn everwhere - two champagne flutes and a drained bottle, the contents of your purse spilt onto the chair in the corner, some random balloons in the corner you must have picked up somewhere in a drunken stupor, your clothes discarded in a trail to the bed.

That last one wakes you up a little bit more, and almost embarrassingly, you look down at yourself and see your lack of clothing, pulling the covers of the quilt closer to you as you feel yourself flush.

Fuck.

There’s a shifting in the bed next to you, and you look down in horror to see exactly which member of your team got you so plastered last night. You try to move to see who it is, but theres a tightness around your wrist and you’re pulled right back down into bed. You look down at your arm, and that’s when you realise you’re really screwed.

There, around your wrist and restraining you against the bed, is a set of handcuffs. FBI standard. The insinuation flames your face as you whip around to see which close friend and coworker you maybe - possibly - hooked up with last night, too embarrassed to look at your hand any more.

Luckily, your mystery man shifts again, and you catch sight of the nest of brown curls right before he turns over to see you, so when you finally meet the eye of Doctor Spencer Reid, you don’t scream in surprise.

“Y/N? What are you doi-” he cuts himself off as he lets his eyes trail down your body, quickly noticing your state of undress and pulling himself up into a seated position. He is similarly disrobed and it takes all of your strength to pull your gaze away from his bare chest to look literally anywhere else, your face practically flaming now.

“Spencer, would you mind helping me out over here?” you manage to squeak out quickly, as he does his best to avoid your eyes. “I seem to be a little stuck?”

That draws his attention back to you, and he finally notices the strange position of your arms and the handcuffs keeping you pinned to that spot in the bed.

“Shit, Y/N, I’m so sorry, fuck,” he quickly pulls on the pants he discarded by his side of the bed and scrambles over to you, tripping over once in his haste.

“Do you know where the key is?” you ask as he arrives at your side again, your free hand clutching the sheets over your breasts like your life depended on it.

“If that’s my pair they should be in the safe in the nightstand with my creds, give me a second to look.” After a second, he reaches the aforementioned safe box, pulling it open. He roots around inside it for a few seconds and then he spots something ad you watch the blood drain from his face.

“Spencer, what’s wrong?” you spit out quickly, tongue still heavy, and lips probably still swollen, from the night before, so you trip over the words a little. He pulls out the keys from the draw, and you let out a sigh of relief, but you’re still tense as he reaches back inside the draw and pulls out something else.

“Y/N, there wouldn’t happen to be a ring on that hand would there?” Spencer still isn’t looking at you, still staring intently at whatever else is in his hands. You try to angle your head to look, but between the restraints and the fact that Reid had turned his back to you couldn’t quite see what it was.

“What? No, I don’t wear a ring on this hand-” you cut yourself off abruptly as you look down and see it. There on the fourth finger of your left hand, the one that is still chained to the bed by your partners handcuffs, is a ring. There’s a ring on your ring finger. You just woke up in Las Vegas with no memory, in your coworkers room, naked, with a ring on your ring finger.

Your heart drops to your ass as you snap your head back around to Spencer, who finally works up the courage to look you in the eye.

“I think you should look at this” he stutters out and finally presents you with the other item he pulled out of the draw. Your jaw drops open and the pounding in your head turns into a continuous buzzing as you see yourself presented with a marriage liscence. Pinned to the corner with a paperclip is a polaroid picture, and you recognise yourself and your clothes from the night before, with the addition of a veil and bouquet, your arms slung around Reid’s neck as he pulls you in for what you can assume was a pretty passionate kiss.

“Y/N I think we got married last night.”

For a second you could’ve sworn your heart stopped. This was not happening, not to you, not right now. How stupidly drunk could you have gotten to have actually gone and married someone you weren’t even dating. And considering your current lack of clothing, it was dawning on you that you had probably done a little bit more than what was in that photo.

“Spencer unlock these handcuffs right now, so help me God,” you breathed deep and screwed your eyes shut, hoping that wihtout the distraction of the glaring lights you’d be able to remember some of what you’d done last night, but nothing came to you.

Reid, for what it was worth, got you unlocked quickly. You winced slightly as you pulled your arm away from the position it’d been in for however many hours.

“Sorry, I’m so sorry, I should have undone those last night, I don’t know why I didn’t, I’m usually pretty good at remembering stuff like that.” Reid rambled, running a hand through his hair and pacing slightly at your side of the bed. You pushed yourself up and watched him for a minute, just looking at this man who was now, probably, your husband.

Your husband.

You shook the thought from your head and cut his rambling off quickly.

“You put me in these?” you asked, just desperate for any clarification on any of the events of the last 24 hours, not fully grasping the implications of what you were asking until Reid was looking down at you with a flushed face and a mouth gaping like a fish, struggling to find the words to say.

“This is my hotel room. Those are my handcuffs… I kind of just assumed…” he trailed off the thought and you were right with him, the embarrassment heating your face just as much as it had his. You found it hard to meet his eyes the, and dropped yours to your lap.

“So you don’t remember, either?” You almost sighed in relief at that. If even a genius with an IQ of 187 and an eidetic memory was in this state after a night of drinking, then you really couldn’t be blamed for getting so drunk you married your coworker and most likely had some pretty kinky sex with him, remembering absolutely nothing on top of that at all.

“Do you need me to grab you something to wear?” he asked as he looked down at you, letting his gaze trail probably a little bit too low for a little bit too long. You grew heated under his stare, as your body reacted, and you realised how easy it must have been to fall underneath him last night if this was how you were feeling from just one look.

But you pulled yourself out of those thoughts quickly, and it seemed that so did he, as he began grabbing clothes from the floor and handing them to you, turning away as you started getting yourself into a semi-decent state.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” you heard Reid mumble to himself as he made his way around the side of the bed, and in your concern for him, you called out.

“Anything specific those curses were for, Spence? Because I know this isn’t exactly the most ideal situation, but four Spencer Reid swears in a row is a cause for concern.” You tried to joke, hoping to relieve some of the anxiety of your predicament.

“I can’t find…” he started and then dragged a hand over his face, trying to wipe the exhaustion from his eyes. “Y/N, I think we didn’t use protection.” You could see him panicking now, and for a second you thought of joining him too, but you crossed the room and grabbed his arms.

“Spencer, look at me, it’s fine. If we did end up… doing that, I’m on birth control, and we probably have time to grab something extra just to make sure, right?” he looked down at you then and after a moments hesitation, he wrapped his arms around you.

“I’m so sorry about all of this, I’m so stupid for suggesting we go to that casino bar last night, I don’t know what I was thinking. You even said last night that this wasn’t what you wanted for yourself, right now, god I’m an idiot, you don’t deserve this.” He buried his face in your neck and held you tight, and you pulled yours up to his back, rubbing circles into his skin slowly.

“Spencer, listen to me. I can think of noone I would have rather had a shotgun Vegas marriage with, okay? This isn’t your fault, we were both drunk, and I’m sure a Reid who was thinking straight could give me some kind of statistic about inhibitions dropping with a certain amount of alcohol.”

“A study in the United Kingdom found that there was an increase of risky sexual behavior in young people who had participated in binge drinking, including unprotected sex with a new partner and the use of emergency contraceptives and I’m not sure why I’m still talking when that was probably rhetorical, right?” You smiled at his panic, finding him just as endearing as ever, even in this predicament.

“What I’m saying, Spencer, is that we’re going to be okay. This isn’t the first time someone has gotten married in Vegas on a whim. Hell, this isn’t even the first time it’s happened to someone on our team. In a sense, this was a very traditional wedding.”

He groaned into your neck again and you laughed up at him. Sure, you were panicked still, but just having him in your arms there sharing his honest feelings with you instead of bottling it up and leaving you to deal with it on your own in your head too was doing you a world of good, and you found the words you used to reassure him soothing you, too, in turn.

“Here’s what we’re going to do. One, find the nearest pharmacy. Two, find whatever Elvis-inspired love shack wrote that marriage license and figure out if it’s actually legally binding. Three, avoid all of our coworkers until 2pm. How does that sound?”

Reid pulled himself out of your neck then, and you were almost sad at the loss of that warmth near you.

“It sounds like I made the smartest choice of a wife I was ever going to make,” he smiled down at you.

“Oh you got jokes now, Doc? I see.”

“Thought I should let you know all my deep dark secrets now we’re married.” You shared a laugh, and standing there amongst the debris of the night before, despite all the mistakes, you knew you were safe, and that the two of you would always be safe together.

🏷️ @sailortongue @bethanyhaas01 @reidscaffeine @high-functioning-cosplayer @average-sunflower @multifandom-on-the-side @anniewhalelover @prentissesredtanktop @abbyshmaby @academiareid @hugyourlungs @w-windy @babybluecakes @SwaggySagieWagie@reidandhotchsgirl @lover-of-books-and-tea @star0055 @Zaapsite @daddy-dotcom @bluecandycake

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sundrop-writes · 5 months

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Lessons For A Genius - Lesson Two

Sub!Spencer Reid x Dom!Fem!Reader

Lesson Two: Magic Metacarpals

(aka the one where Spencer learns how to finger you)

Summary:

After his first 'lesson', Spencer is even more eager to learn from you.

And while both of you are ignoring your growing yearning for something more, you teach him the next logical thing: how to pleasure you in return.

Sub!Spencer Reid x (BAU)Dom!Fem!Reader. (Pining) Friends with Benefits. Smut. Set during early Season 2.

Word Count: 26,300

Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link

THIS IS A RE-POST. This is a fic from my old blog (a blog that was shadowbanned, forcing me to move). This fic is not stolen, it is completely mine, and I am just re-posting it to help people find my new blog, and to make my masterlist complete when I post new fics for this fandom.

Detailed warnings and author’s notes below the cut.

Warnings: General themes for a CM episode - murder/killing/mentions of gun violence/mentions of women being murdered and sexually assaulted/mentions of strangling; once again, there is a mention of a case that isn’t in the canon (one that I have made up) and this fic is not case-centric; the reader is held in a choke-hold by the killer and uses dark humour to get out of it; the reader uses she/her pronouns and has a vagina; mentions of the reader wearing a dress/very girly outfit; the reader is heavily implied to be plus-sized;mentions of the reader being older than Spencer, but there is no specific mention of how much the age difference is/number of years (tbh the way I am playing it, it could be months, a year, or years of difference because they make jokes about it) (because this takes place in early S2, Spencer would be 24/25, so if you’re younger than that, just imagine? lmao); the team being very nosy about Spencer and the reader’s sex life and the reader lying about it in order to spare Spencer because he’s shy (not because she’s embarrassed of him); heavily implications of Morcia as a background couple; mentions of drinking/drunkenness (does not take place in this fic, it’s just mentioned in passing); mentions of Spencer being bullied as a child.

General sexual themes; ongoing dom/sub relationship - Spencer is submissive and the reader is dominant; a safeword is in place but it’s not used; Spencer is generally inexperienced and the reader is 'teaching’ him things about sex, including slang, kinks, sexual technique, and the emotional consequences of sex, generally helping him explore his sexual side; mentions of using sex toys (a fleshlight, passing mentions of dildos, including a tentacle dildo that is not used); mentions of Spencer masturbating independently from scenes/playtime with the reader (these scenes are not detailed); descriptions of subspace; descriptions of Spencer having a subdrop/bad subspace experience because he masturbates without the reader there (this is a very brief part of the fic and all other moments of subspace are described pleasantly); the word 'MILF’ is used to describe the reader - as a joke, and because Spencer doesn’t fully understand the context.

The actual smutty meat of the fic (aka girl dinner) consists of: panty kink - Spencer wears a pair of lacy panties under his clothes while in public because it turns the reader on; praise kink - Spencer loves being praised; public/semi-public 'sex’ (they don’t have full-blown sex, it’s just groping through clothing, and they are in a secluded area of a public place when it happens); risk of getting caught; strength kink - the reader exerts her strength over Spencer and he likes it; heated making out; hair pulling (Spencer receiving); groping through clothes (reader and Spencer receiving); Spencer cums in his pants while being groped; clothes sharing - Spencer wears the reader’s clothes; the reader calls Spencer honey, sweetie, baby, pretty boy, good boy; Spencer calls the reader Miss; this fic does feature Mommy kink - Spencer starts calling the reader Mommy partway through; mentions of the reader wearing traditionally feminine lingerie; hand kink - the reader likes Spencer’s hands; finger sucking (the reader sucks on Spencer’s fingers); vaginal fingering/clitoral stimulation - the reader teaches Spencer how to finger her; Spencer edges the reader unintentionally; guided masturbation - Spencer masturbates for the reader; Spencer cums on the reader (by accident?); the reader licks some of Spencer’s cum; mentions of pregnancy (Spencer likes the idea of getting the reader pregnant, but she is on birth control so it won’t happen in this fic lmao); some mentions of aftercare (not as in depth as the previous fic); and I believe that’s it.

A/N: I do intend for each part of this to possibly be read as a oneshot, so you don’t have to read Lesson One in order for this to make sense narratively. But if you want more sub!Spencer stuff, then you should go back and read Lesson One just for your enjoyment. This makes reference to things that have happened in the first part, but you won’t be utterly confused if you jump into reading this without reading the other one first. Anyway, I do hope you enjoy it, if you're reading this for the first time or re-reading it.

...

When you woke up the next morning, you had almost forgotten about what had happened.

You were drowsy, your body almost entirely sunken into the soft bed. If not for the ripe scent of coffee drifting through the air and undertone of something uniquely masculine stuck to the pillow - Spencer’s aftershave - then you likely would have thought that you were comfortable in your own apartment and simply turned over to go back to sleep.

But then it all came flooding back to you.

The Chinese take-out date, gifting Spencer the fleshlight - tying him to the chair in order to ‘help’ him use it. His moans, the sweet way he had looked up at you with those big eyes. The way he had called you ‘Miss’ with such utterly beautiful desperation, how perfect he had looked covered in his own cum.

You sighed with delight as you remembered it all, a gentle tingle coming over your body as you thought about it.

It was then that you realized what the pungent smell of coffee meant: Spencer must have been brewing a pot. You had no clue what time it was or when you had to be ready for work - but coffee sounded fucking amazing after the eventful night the two of you had.

You were surprised that Spencer wasn’t still in bed, cuddled up to you.

He had spent the whole night clinging to your back like a koala in the most endearing way. You had no clue how a man so large could make himself seem so small at times, but he definitely accomplished that by hooking his leg around your hip and whining whenever you tried to pull away from him even a slight bit.

(You hated that it was something that would have been intensely annoying from any other partner or one night stand, but when he did it, you found it adorable. You knew that you were letting him get away with too much already, but you couldn’t help yourself.)

What you didn’t realize: yes, Spencer would have loved to be cuddled up with you in bed all morning. But he had woken up before you - and he would deny the amount of time he had taken to stare at you while you were sleeping, ogling your beautiful, peaceful face. After he had gotten out of bed, he had taken the initiative to attempt to prepare breakfast.

He rarely cooked for himself. When he did cook, it was usually simple, plain, unimpressive dishes that were more meant to kill hunger than to actually taste nice. And he was even further screwed by the fact that his fridge wasn’t even well stocked because the team had been so busy on cases that he hadn’t even thought to go grocery shopping in a while.

Of course, he had coffee (and cream, and sugar - because he wasn’t a monster, he made himself a cup every morning). And he had some basics like eggs, so he was trying his best to make something nice for you.

When you walked into the kitchen, still dressed in nothing but your camisole and your panties, the chill of the morning air was biting and Spencer looked invitingly warm.

He was standing at the stove, concentrating on some sizzling pan, and you couldn’t resist the urge to walk up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist. He had gotten dressed since getting out of bed, so he was wearing a bright blue cotton tee shirt (that you didn’t yet see had the Superman logo on the front) and a pair of plaid pajama bottoms. It was an entirely adorable sight: Spencer in loungewear. You indulged in pressing your face lightly between his shoulders, loving the feeling of the soft cotton against your cheek.

You noticed that the radio was on in the background - a low hum compared to the pan sizzling on the stove. But from what you could tell, the news was playing. He was such an old man in some ways.

“Please tell me that’s coffee I’m smelling.” You moaned quietly, feeling snuggled by his soft embrace.

“A teaspoon of sugar and just a little bit of cream,” He said, taking his hand off the handle of the frying pan to reach over to the side, grabbing a coffee cup and hoisting it in your direction - which was slightly awkward with you behind him.

You met him halfway, taking the coffee thankfully. Then you moved to lean against the counter to actually drink your coffee. He was rueful that the hug didn’t last longer, but he didn’t say anything about it.

“You remembered,” You grinned at him, referring to the fact that he had made your coffee exactly how you liked it.

When you took the first sip, it tasted amazing, and began to wake up your senses from the drowsy lull that you had been feeling.

“It’s quite literally impossible for me to forget.” He replied, giving you a grin.

“Hmm,” You hummed thoughtfully, clutching the warm coffee cup with both hands. “I’d like to test that theory one of these days.”

If you could make Spencer so incoherent with an orgasm, even just begging for one, you were willing to bet that you could feed him information that he wouldn’t be able to repeat back to you when he was so fucked out. It would be one of the ultimate victories - proving the genius’s perfect eidetic memory wrong.

Spencer saw that look in your eyes - the same one you had given him last night before you had gifted him the fleshlight. (Which was still propped up in the drying rack, a sight that had startled him when he had first gotten into the kitchen that morning). He had a feeling that, based on that look alone, he knew what you meant. He shied away then, looking back down to the pan of eggs as your brain moved on to another subject.

“I still can’t believe that you listen to the radio in the morning,” You commented, nodding toward the device that was propped up on the half-wall that partitioned off the kitchen from the living room. “You’re such an old man.”

“I’m younger than you!” He chuckled.

“No, no.” You easily corrected him, your voice taking on a very typical joking tone. “Being an old man is a way of life. It’s not about your age. It’s why you and Gideon get along so well.”

Spencer snorted with laughter at this. He turned off the stove, deciding the eggs were done, and began to scrape them onto a plate, hoping that it wasn’t too measly or unimpressive.

“Well then… you had sex with an old man last night.” Spencer chuckled, trying to sound confident in this ‘joke’.

You couldn’t help but to laugh at his nervousness.

“You need to work on your comebacks, too.” You told him with a grin. “I should get you one of those ‘yo mama’ joke books that seventh graders pass around.”

“Oh, that explains why I suck at comebacks. I skipped seventh grade.” He shrugged casually.

You laughed even harder at this. For him, it was a simple statement of fact, but to you, it sounded like he was purely bragging, and that turned out to be a better joke than the one he actually intended as humor.

Spencer bit his lip to hold back a grin.

Mornings with you - it was so much better than he had expected. He had expected things to be intensely awkward after what had taken place last night. He had expected that the entire tone of your relationship might change. And that was something he was fearful of. But you were still making jokes, still absolutely not afraid to insult him in that joking way that you did.

Spencer felt a yearning deep inside of him at the realization - like the string of a harp being plucked, setting off vibrations of bitter harmony through his entire being. He wanted his life to be like this every single morning. He wanted to make coffee for you every day - he wanted to be yours.

You picked up a fork and took a small bite of the eggs he had offered up, and Spencer felt his heart drop when your face immediately coiled into disgust.

“What’s wrong?” He asked quietly, fearing he had terribly disappointed you.

“Honey… how much salt did you put in this?” You asked, your words slightly muffled by the food cradled on your tongue.

You walked over to the sink and spit the eggs out, and Spencer rushed to pick up a fork for himself as he answered.

“Not much, I think.” He said, taking his own bite of the food. Then he immediately understood. “Oh my god. That’s so bad.” He said, feeling a gag curling in his throat at just how putridly salty it was.

He leaned over and spat his bite in the sink next to yours, and before the fear of disappointing you could fully set in, you burst out laughing brightly.

“Oh god.” You chuckled. “You don’t usually cook, do you?”

“Not really.” He said, giving you a timid smile. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You assured him, rubbing a hand gently across his back. “We can just get some breakfast on the way to work.”

He would learn to cook for you too. Most definitely.

The sweetness and peace was disrupted by a sharp digital chirping - a cellphone ringing. You didn’t think to question if it was your phone or Spencer’s before you put your coffee cup on the counter and rushed toward the sound, finding the small silver object buzzing in the middle of the coffee table (still off to the side of the room where you had pushed it the night before). You grabbed it up and flipped it open, and answered without hesitation.

“Hello?” You said politely.

Spencer stood in the doorway of the kitchen then, watching on with curiosity, wondering if the two of you were being called in for a case.

“Y/N?” JJ’s voice came from the other end of the line - but she sounded oddly confused.

“Yeah.” You confirmed. “What’s up?”

“What are you doing answering Spencer’s phone?” She asked, an eager curiosity coming through her voice.

Your work phones were practically identical, so it was a crapshoot.

You scrambled to make up an excuse, even though you knew her mind had likely already strayed to something in the realm of ‘adult sleepover’.

“He and I were hanging out last night and I fell asleep on the couch watching movies.” You said. “You know Reid, he went on that whole rant about how driving tired is like driving drunk, he insisted that I stay over-”

JJ let out a hardy laugh, cutting you off.

“Yeah, keep working on that.” She said. “I’m sure the others will definitely believe it.” You rolled your eyes at this, and JJ continued. “Did the two of you use a condom, or should we be expecting some genius babies coming our way nine months from now?”

You wanted to conjure up a crude (but truthful) joke about how Spencer had cum into a silicone pussy and you didn’t think babies could come from that. But for once, you managed to hold your tongue. You wanted to respect his privacy rather than flaunting your sexual exploits in front of other people and embarrassing him. You did have some sense of tact.

“Do we have a case or are you just calling around cause you’re lonely?” You fired back, trying to get her off this topic.

“Yes, we do.” She said. “And you just saved me a phone call. So you and your little boyfriend get in here as soon as possible, okay?”

You sighed. “Yeah, of course.”

You snapped the phone shut before she could make any more cute comments, and then you walked over and handed it to Spencer.

“There’s a case?” He asked.

“Yeah.” You told him. “Sweetie, would you mind running down to my car and grabbing my go-bag? I need a fresh change of clothes.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. I can do that.”

His overall obedience toward you kicked in again, and he found himself nodded eagerly. He knew that if he were a dog, his tail would have been wagging relentlessly as he shoved on a pair of shoes and a sweater and you tossed him your keys from your purse in order to go and do the task.

You chugged down your coffee and headed toward the bathroom for a quick shower to freshen up. As Reid went down to the parking garage, he had to wonder about the things he had just heard you say on that call.

He knew that you had made up the excuse about you ‘falling asleep on the couch’ to JJ because you didn’t want to simply expose the fact that the two of you had played around the night before. It was a private thing that should be kept between the two of you. Even though you were relatively shameless about toting other private matters in public. You were never ashamed about announcing to the world when you were on your period or if certain foods had upset your stomach - in great detail.

So - if you weren’t so eager to announce being with Reid, did it mean that you were ashamed of him? Did it mean that you didn’t want to tell everyone that you had a sexual partner like him?

He tried not to stew in that thought as he brought your bag back upstairs. When he closed the door to the apartment and you heard him come in, you called him and told him to come toward the bathroom, and he heard the shower shutting off.

It was only then that it occurred to him that you were using his shower - you were naked in the shower. You were naked in his apartment.

He felt warmth in his pelvis at the thought, and he tried dampening it down (tried thinking of horror, sadness, dead bodies) - because he really didn’t have time to masturbate or ‘play’ more with you before work. He didn’t have time to take care of an erection right now. Would this be a recurring problem? Getting erections around you so easily now because you had awakened something in him? Because now he knew that you would actually touch him?

When Spencer came to the bathroom door, it was partially cracked open, and there was warm, hazy air pouring out - clearly steam from how hot you had the shower.

“Did you find the bag?” You asked, clearly having heard Spencer’s footsteps in the hallway.

“Y-yeah.” He answered.

“Okay, well, you can come in and bring it to me.” You chuckled, bright and confident as ever.

Spencer pushed the door open fully.

He felt like he was stepping into an early morning heaven when he stepped into that humid air and saw you standing in the middle of the bathmat, wrapping a towel around your naked, dripping body.

The way you held it kept your breasts and vagina fully covered, shielding all of the ‘important’ parts from Spencer’s view. But when you pulled it back to adjust the tightness of the towel around your chest, you clearly didn’t care about the skin that was revealed. The thickness of your hip and the plushness of the side of your stomach was bared to his eyes; his gaze devoured the large strip of skin all the way up the side of your body, just barely kissing the side of your breast where the towel covered you. It looked so scandalous even though it showed so little of you before you covered yourself back up and tucked the towel into itself, securing the fabric around your body.

“Thank you, Spencer.” You said, reaching out and grabbing the bag from him.

Spencer stood there for a moment longer, watching in utter awe as his eyes traced a droplet of water down your neck and into your cleavage. He wondered what it might be like to lean over and lick it up, wondering what your skin might taste like-

“Spence, shouldn’t you go get ready now?” You posed, looking up from rooting around your bag that you now had propped up on the closed toilet lid.

“Right.” Spencer said. “Right. Yeah.”

Spencer rushed off to his bedroom, doing just that.

He did have to masturbate before he could focus at all on getting dressed. He felt slightly shameful for it, but he picked up your discarded blouse from his bedroom floor, left there by you from the night before, holding it to his nose while he pumped his cock with his hand. And with it, he came faster than he ever had by his own touch. And then he rushed to clean up and get dressed and managed to meet you just as you were emerging from the bathroom, looking as beautiful as ever in another button up blouse and simple black pants.

You gave him a grin and didn’t at all seem to suspect that he had touched himself, and he felt so utterly victorious - like he had a secret, like he had gotten away with something.

…

You had to laugh as you watched Spencer struggle to clean the dried cum off his glasses in the car with a couple of wet wipes. It was something you had forgotten to do the night before, and you found it entirely amusing as he muttered and grunted to himself, trying to get the lenses fully clean while you drove.

By the time you got to the office, Spencer’s glasses were glimmering clean and you recklessly pulled into the first parking spot you saw in the garage, hoping that you weren’t terribly late. (Unfortunately you hadn’t had time for breakfast, and hunger was gnawing at you, but you would take care of that later.)

Spencer began voicing complaints about your parking job and the likelihood of your doors getting dented by someone else getting out of their car, but you simply dragged him forward with a hand on his wrist and told him that it would be your problem as you shoved him into the elevator.

Nobody else was lingering in the bullpen, which worried you, and surely enough - everybody else was already sitting at the roundtable as you and Spencer walked down the hall. Many prying eyes stared at the two of you from the doorway, clearly expectant of the two of you. When you got in, you noticed that the only absent face was Gideon. At least you and Spencer weren’t the only ones holding up the presentation of the case.

“You’re late.” Hotch grumbled as Spencer shut the door behind the two of you. “Again.”

“So sue me.” You shrugged, causing Hotch to roll his eyes, and causing a smirk from Morgan and Elle - who generally loved your snark.

“Don’t blame her, Hotch, she probably had a hard time finding her keys after Boy Genius rocked her world.” Elle said, making an obvious joke about the fact that you and Spencer had come in together.

That, and you wouldn’t put it above JJ not to tell everyone that you had spent the night at Spencer’s place (especially if she delivered that news under suspicion that the two of you had sex).

Reid - who had gone to the counter off to the side to get himself yet another cup of coffee - dropped a packet of sugar on the floor out of nervousness when he heard Elle’s comment. You found it entirely adorable when he scrambled to pick it up, clearly trying his hardest not to seem suspicious.

“So come on, how was it?” Morgan said, looking right at you as he hopped onto the joke. “Did he spread you open like a good library book?”

Hotch sighed, pressing his fingers into the bridge of his nose, knowing he could do nothing to stop the conversation. He looked to his phone, desperately trying to ignore this as it went on around him.

“Very funny.” You griped sarcastically. “If I look tired, it’s because this loser had me up all night rambling on about Star Wars - fun facts, behind the scenes trivia.” You said, motioning toward Spencer for emphasis when you said ‘this loser’. “I absolutely did not need to know the difference between a protocol droid and an astromech droid, but now I do.”

On any other occasion, you casually throwing around the word ‘loser’ in reference to Spencer would have hurt his feelings.

But during this moment, Spencer found himself suppressing a grin. Everyone in the room had basically invited you to openly mock him for his lack of sexual ability, to spill his secrets as office gossip. But instead, you had chosen to keep those secrets close to your chest, clearly as a way to protect him from future mockery. And on top of that, you had made a clever reference to a previous conversation that the two of you did have about Star Wars. He was proud that you remembered the term ‘astromech droid’ off the top of your head at all.

He felt proud, sharing a filthy secret with you. And he knew that he was definitely not a loser after what had happened last night.

“Star Wars?” JJ questioned, looking at you with an expression that said she definitely knew you were lying, but she obviously didn’t have any proof.

You had told her that you fell asleep on his couch by accident, and now you were telling the others that he had kept you up all night?

“Yeah, that sounds more like it.” Morgan chuckled, receiving a knowing nod from Elle.

Spencer passed by you, placing a coffee cup in front of your chair as you took your jacket off and sat down. He highly resisted the urge to give you a grin - knowing that it would give away your sweet little secret to the rest of the room. He simply walked around the table and took his own seat, and before any further discussion about the possible antics of your private lives could occur, Gideon walked in with a file in hand and JJ began presenting the case.

…

It was a case like any other. (Unfortunately.) Women strangled, sexually assaulted, left in areas of the woods that weren’t too difficult to find.

As you looked at the horrific crime scene photos, you couldn’t help but to think that perhaps part of the reason you loved to dominate subservient men was to take back your personal power. Because deep down, you knew that you were terrified of ending up like that, and you loved the small piece of the world that you could take back when you got your hand around a man’s neck and made him beg for mercy (consensually, of course).

But you couldn’t dwell on that for too long, because you had a job to do.

There was a fresh crime scene when the team arrived, and Hotch sent you and Morgan to investigate it while he and Gideon went to speak to the victim’s family. The others left to set up at the local police station, and you couldn’t help but to notice Spencer’s eyes lingering on you as you parted ways.

There were some drag marks in the dirt and a camera perched on a public bathroom that insisted the victim (and her attacker) could have been seen, so Morgan stepped away to call Garcia to see if she could pull anything from the camera’s feed. You did some more looking around, but couldn’t find anything of note.

When you walked back over to where Morgan was perched beside the SUV, grinning with his phone beside his ear, you couldn’t hold back a comment at his final words before he hung up.

“-oh, of course. Well you are beautiful and brilliant as always, my love. Thank you.”

“You didn’t tell me Reid was on the phone.” You commented snidely, giving a wide smirk as you walked around into Morgan’s view.

You thought you were being clever, making the joke that he would call Reid beautiful, or playfully call him ‘my love’. But of course, he turned this right back around on you.

“No, that was just Garcia. She said the camera’s a dud and she couldn’t get anything off it.” Before you could comment on this fact, he continued.

“But I took a message from Reid earlier. He said he left his panties at your place and he wants them back,” He smirked widely himself as he said this.

Likely the exact opposite of what he had intended, this caused a distinct image in your mind. One of Spencer wearing a pair of pink lacy panties - his long, hard cock straining to fit inside the skimpy material, and leaky wildly inside of it, making everything so wet.

You forced yourself to refocus, and purposefully put on a sour look, pretending that you were annoyed by his crude comment.

“Ha-ha.” You griped sarcastically. “You know Reid and I aren’t a thing. So you can stop with the jokes before you embarrass him.”

Truthfully, you did want the jokes to stop before it hurt Reid. You knew that he likely wanted to keep his sex life private. You didn’t want his shyness to come back tenfold before you could truly open him up and explore his filthy side.

Morgan snorted, clearly in disbelief.

“Oh, so you’re gonna act like that whole bit this morning wasn’t you and boy genius stumblin’ in late because of a late night booty call?” Morgan posed. “A real one. Not him fallin’ asleep on his phone.”

You shifted your attitude then. If he wasn’t going to drop it, then you were going to arm yourself.

“Okay, if you’re so invested in my sex life, you wanna talk about the size XXL purple leopard thong that I found in your back seat three weeks ago?” You posed sharply, a stone cold look on your face even though you were holding back the urge to laugh.

At the time, Morgan had offered to give you a ride home because your car battery had died. And when you tossed your bag into his back seat, you randomly spotted the streak of bright color - very out of place among the few gray sweatshirts he had in the back. And when you picked it up, wondering what it was, you held it in your hands and in a moment, based on the size, knew who it belonged to.

But he had been denying where it had come from (and the lustful tryst behind it) ever since. Clearly he wanted to keep his inter-office sex life private too.

“I-” Morgan began stuttering out an explanation, then swallowed it up. “We should get going.” He said, motioning toward the SUV.

“We should.” You easily agreed.

…

The whole time the team spent working the case, you found it difficult to interact with Spencer.

You really wanted to say that having sex with him wouldn’t change your working relationship, but it wasn’t like you had fucked just anybody. It was Spencer. If you had railed Elle or Derek or anybody else on the team, you probably could have gone to work the next day and pushed it to the back of your mind with grace.

But knowing that Spencer was inexperienced, knowing that you had likely been the first person to ever hear him moan like that, the first to ever see him covered in his own cum - it was definitely something that stuck in your head (to a painfully distracting extent).

Every time you so much as looked at him, saw that thoughtful expression with those glasses perched on his face, you immediately pictured him blissfully fucked out with large spots of his own cum covering the lenses.

So you tried your best to avoid him for the majority of the work. You volunteered to leave the station whenever possible, and left him with his maps, making a geographical profile, doing what he did best. You tried to keep yourself distracted and focused on a case.

This - somehow - had you and Gideon following a lead, following up with someone who had spoken to the first victim a few minutes before she was murdered. While the two of you searched the man’s property looking for him, he managed to sneak up behind you and put you in a chokehold, attempting to strangle you.

Because yeah - he was the killer. Great.

And apparently, once again, your sick sense of humor paid off. Because when your hand reached for your gun upon instinct and you realized that in your Spencer Reid sex-haze distractions, you had somehow forgotten it in the car, you cursed yourself, and then you began to physically struggle. And then you realized that this man was too strong, and there was no good way for you to escape the hold with physical methods.

With your vision becoming hazy, your instinct was to start moaning in a very exaggerated, pornographic way and tell him how much you liked the feeling of being strangled - which led him to loosen his grip out of shock. And that gave you more than enough room to elbow him in the face, knocking him loopy so you could call to Gideon for help.

The two of you had him in cuffs in minutes and when everyone else got there and asked you how you managed to escape, you told them that you were simply too fierce of a fighter for the man to hold you down. They didn��t need to know what actually happened or where your mind went when faced with danger.

Spencer looked at you with incredibly sad eyes when he saw the irritated strangle marks around your neck, but you pointed to the marks and told him you were fine with a chuckle. That it looked worse than it was. You were surprised and kind of hurt when he didn’t say anything to you in return.

Spencer didn’t sit next to you during the plane ride home (which you took slight offense to). But he did come up to you in the parking garage when you were getting ready to leave. You had been inspecting a large bump in one of your doors (cursing the fact that Spencer always had to be right), and you became distracted when you heard his footsteps echoing through the large space behind you.

You thought that maybe he needed a ride since you had been the one to drive him there after your heated night together. But he stood a few feet away with his hands in his pockets, so you took your hand off the key that was poised in your car door and made it clear that you were prepared to pay attention to him - clearly he had something to say.

“Are you mad at me?” He asked timidly.

“What? No.” You let out breathily, almost laughing. “Why would you think-?” You began to ask, and then cut yourself off, realizing the answer to your own question halfway through speaking it. “Because I’ve been avoiding you.” You spoke aloud.

Spencer nodded, seeming very solemn and downtrodden by this fact.

“You wouldn’t even look at me over the past few days.” He said. “I mean, I understand if I did something wrong.” He declared, his voice taking on the same broken wetness that his eyes had, as though he was on the verge of crying. “But I - I thought that what happened the other night, what we did, I thought it was special. I-”

“Spencer. Come here.” You summoned him closer, not wanting to talk loudly across the parking garage at him. You didn’t want your voices to echo when speaking about your sex life - just in case anybody did happen to come by.

You found it achingly adorable that he called what had happened ‘special’. Like he was a young woman talking about ‘making love’. It was tooth-rotting sweet. Especially considering that he wasn’t referring to some night where the two of you had laid in bed together with candles and Barry Mantilow playing. But rather, a time where you had tied him to a kitchen chair and fucked him senseless with a fake pussy.

Spencer easily followed your order, finding nothing but natural order in listening to you. He came to stand just a few inches from your body where you were leaning up against the door of your car, and then you began to speak quietly.

“What we did was special.” You assured him with a smile. The sadness on his features broke up slightly at this. “In fact, it was so special that I couldn’t get it out of my head. Every time I looked at you, I just imagined you moaning for me, covered in your own cum. I kept hearing your pretty voice in my ears saying ‘please’ in that gorgeous way you do.”

Of course, you did angle your words more into dirty talk, and you leaned into him slightly when you said these things, whispering in a low, seductive voice. You loved how his Adam’s apple bobbed heavily as he swallowed thickly, and a slight flush moved across his cheeks at your words.

When he didn’t say anything, clearly stunned into silence by your words, you continued.

“I didn’t want to be turned on, or distracted when we have an important job to do.” You had to leave out the fact that you had been so distracted that you had almost made a fatal mistake. But nobody needed to know about that. “So… I just tried to focus on something other than you for a while. I do apologize if it seems like I was avoiding you out of anger, but that is definitely not the case.” You told him, easily capping off your explanation.

“I understand.” Spencer nodded. “That’s… kind of how I feel every day. But I guess I’m just used to it by now. So I’m better at not being distracted.”

You felt intensely flattered, and slightly turned on as he unintentionally fluffed your ego.

“Because you’re a good boy.” You told him, knowing that praise was one of his weak spots.

You swore you saw his knees shake when the words hit him, and he cleared his throat loudly before he spoke again.

“Is - is it always going to be like this?” He asked.

He would have mourned your friendship if that were the case. He didn’t want to trade off your jokes and your everyday interactions for the sex, as amazing as the sex was. Selfishly, he wanted both.

“No.” You easily assured him. “I just need a bit of time to get my head on straight. I need some time to get used to it. Like you said, I need to get better at not being distracted.”

Spencer nodded at this.

He was very tempted to ask if you wanted to come over to his place that night. If you wanted to ‘sleep-over’ again. Not only had he enjoyed the spectacular orgasm, learning from you, but he had genuinely enjoyed the kind of domesticity that came from waking up with you there. He loved having someone in his kitchen in the morning. He knew he would miss that sorely if he woke up tomorrow morning and you weren’t there. (Perhaps you had spoiled him too much already.)

However, before he could work up the courage to ask, you leaned up on your toes and kissed him on the cheek, muttering ‘goodnight, Spence’. And in return, he muttered something about paperwork before he walked back toward the elevator.

…

That night, Spencer went home and grabbed the fleshlight off the dishrack as soon as he spotted it. He knew that you had bought it for him with the intention of him using it independently, but as he grabbed the bottle of lube off the living room coffee table, he just felt… lonely without you there.

But he supposed that he had to learn how to do it on his own, because you wouldn’t be there all the time to help him. It was only a fantasy - the two of you getting a place together, so he could serve you in every possible way, doing so gleefully, and in return, you would play with him whenever he wanted.

He stripped naked and slicked up his cock and the toy just like you had shown him. He couldn’t help but to miss the feeling of your hand on his cock as he did it. When he got the tight softness of the fake pussy around him, he screwed his eyes closed tight - and all he could think about was you.

He missed you like a tree missing sunlight, and he felt his head spinning - felt like he had no greater sense of control without your voice telling him what to do. It made him anxious and on edge the whole time he had that fake pussy wrapped around his cock, rather than the beautifully, buttery warmth he had felt before.

By the time he came, he was practically sobbing. A deep ache for you in his chest as he missed your touch over him - missed the feeling of your fingers running through his hair, missed your voice calling him ‘good boy’ as that tingling ran through his gut.

After he rinsed out the toy with hot water and put it back in the dish rack to dry (wondering if he was cleaning it right) and jumped in the shower, he wondered if he would ever be content to masturbate alone again. He wondered if you had ruined him, if he would ever truly feel satiated without your touch.

…

The next few days passed without much of note happening.

You and Spencer stayed away from each other in the office and everyone began to whisper, theorizing that you were in some kind of fight. But of course, they didn’t notice the glances the two of you exchanged over the partition of your close desks - a deeply knowing stare that only the other person could decipher.

Also, unknowingly, Derek had given you a fantastic idea.

One day during your lunch break, you visited a lingerie store that you loved, and picked up a pair of lacy pink panties that would definitely be too small for you - but that you hoped would fit a certain genius’ slim hips just right.

…

At the end of the week, you were intensely thankful to have a day off.

You were tempted to turn your phone off completely, not wanting to be cursed with being called in on your day off. You could say that you lived with the hope that nobody out there was needing the BAU’s help, but truly, you were just annoyed and wanted some time to relax.

You woke up naturally around mid morning, and you were feeling hungry so you hesitantly rolled out of bed. You washed your face and did a light, lazy morning routine. On your way to the kitchen in your modest, cozy, but very well decorated apartment, you heard a knock on the door.

You felt all of your muscles tense up unconsciously. You really hoped that it wasn’t someone from the team, needing something. (You also hoped that it wasn’t one of your exes, showing up unannounced to beg for you back because the sex had been too good and had ruined them for anyone else - which had happened before. Multiple times unfortunately.)

You hesitantly walked over to the door (so tempted to pretend that you weren’t home and simply be left unbothered). When you looked through the peephole, you were delightfully surprised to see that it was Spencer. He was standing there, dressed like he usually did for work, holding a tray with two takeout coffee cups in one hand and a large brown paper bag in the other.

He had brought breakfast.

A sweetheart with a big dick and a pretty face who begged so pretty and brought food? Fuck, you might just have to marry him.

You eagerly opened the door and grinned widely at him.

“Spence!” You greeted him with excitement. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Um, hi.” He gave you a smile himself, and nodded at you rather than waving because his hands were full. “Can I come in? I brought breakfast.” He motioned toward the items in his hands, and you nodded, moving aside to let him in. “I wanted to make up for those… abysmal eggs that I made you the other morning.”

“They weren’t abysmal.” You told him with a chuckle as you shut the door. “And I do admire you for trying.”

Spencer naturally navigated his way to your small kitchen, to the small round table that you had in there to set the items down. This was only his third time in your apartment.

Two of the other times he had been there, it had been to hang out and play board games with you, JJ, Elle, and Penelope. Something that had started out as a joke - Derek telling him that he might have fun ‘tagging along on girls’ night’. So he had. And he did have fun.

And one of the times it had been because he had gotten quite drunk and you had brought him here to take care of him. Because he had been so drunk that he couldn’t tell you where his house keys were. Waking up on your couch that morning to the smell of pancakes had been delightfully confusing.

Either way, he found your apartment wonderfully homey. Decorated in jewel tones with girly touches. And there was always a nice smell lingering in the air from some kind of scented candle or nice perfume you were wearing.

“Yeah, well, food is definitely not one of my areas of expertise.” Spencer admitted, carrying on the conversation as he took your coffee out of the tray and handed it to you.

You noticed the distinct motion of his eyes going up and down your body, lingering around your thighs and your breasts, distracting him from picking up his own coffee for a few moments.

It was only then that you became hyper-aware of the fact that you were still wearing your pajamas.

It was a matching set made of a thin cotton fabric with a floral pattern on it - the top was a tank top with thin little spaghetti straps (and of course, you had just gotten out of bed, so you weren’t wearing a bra). The shorts were intensely short, revealing most of your wide thighs. It didn’t leave much to the imagination, so you realized why it caused Spencer’s eyes to wander. You loved his keen gaze, though. And you pretended not to notice as the conversation continued.

“The genius finally admits that there’s something he doesn’t know!” You chuckled.

“There are still plenty of things I don’t know.” Spencer said quietly - the glint in his eye told you that he was definitely referring to the pivotal conversation that the two of you had the other night. The conversation where he had lovingly begged you to teach him about sex. “Plenty of things I still need to learn.”

There was a pause where the air was filled with intense sexual tension, but Spencer broke it by grabbing the paper bag with the food in it and opening it up.

“I got you a breakfast sandwich.” He said. “Bacon, egg, and cheese on a bagel.”

“Sounds perfect.” You nodded. “Plates are in the cupboard above the sink. I’m gonna go down to my mailbox and see if my newspaper has been delivered.” You told him, walking over to the door to shove on your slippers.

“Getting your news from the paper? What an old lady you are,” Spencer said, clearly recycling your own words from the other morning back at you.

“That just means you like old ladies.” You chuckled, recycling his comment from the other day. “You must be into MILFs,”

“‘MILFs?’” Spencer questioned, that adorably confused look coming across his features again.

You became filled to the brim with glee at the realization that you would get to explain this to him.

“It means ‘Mother I’d Like To Fuck’ or ‘Mommy I’d Like To Fuck’.” You told him. “Usually it’s used to describe a sex fantasy where someone wants to fuck - well, a mother. Someone who’s had children, because they’re attracted to the concept of motherhood. Or it can be describing a porn category, usually anything with a curvy older woman and a younger man… some people say that a MILF doesn’t necessarily have to be a woman who’s had kids, just a woman who’s older than you and hot.”

Spencer’s lips gaped with lustful shock, and a flush came over him. He wanted to confirm that you were definitely a MILF - because you were a woman who was technically older than him, curvy, and very hot. And he definitely wanted to fuck you. All the time. But that would mean using the word ‘Mommy’ to describe you, and as much as that brought a tingle through him - that was not a can of worms that he was ready to open. Yet.

You left him standing there, gaping with shock and you couldn’t help but to laugh at this as you walked out the door to go to the mailbox.

When you came back, you and Spencer sat on the couch and ate with the TV playing quietly in the background. A random network was playing Pretty Woman and you left it on because Spencer remarked that he had never seen it before, and you found it adorable how closely he paid attention to the film as it progressed.

When you finished your food, you opened your newspaper and began reading. At some point, you had stretched out, and your feet had wandered into Spencer’s lap. Before you could wonder if he found it annoying, he began to lightly massage them.

It was a delicate kind of peace, and you couldn’t help but to enjoy the silent, easy company as he watched the film and you read an article about a new baby penguin being given to two male penguin parents at the local zoo.

You didn’t know that Spencer’s skin was crawling, eagerness building up inside of him as he sat in silence. Seeing you just sitting there, your face gently concentrated as you read. You putting your feet so carelessly in his lap, using him like he was just a lovely piece of furniture, just a footrest for you. All if it seemed to be checkmarks on some unknown list of things that only made him more lustful.

And for the past ten minutes, he had been slowly losing focus on the plot of the film and found himself staring more and more at your thighs or sneaking glances at you over top of the newspaper.

He had the urge to simply nudge your legs apart and crawl between them. To start touching you until he found out what was pleasurable for you. Until you called him ‘good boy’ in that way that made him melt again. But he wasn’t nearly confident enough to just do that. So he was just sitting there quietly. Slowly going insane as he thought about all the things that he wanted you to be doing to him now that the two of you were alone with free time.

Of course, you noticed him becoming more antsy. You felt him moving more in his seat, you felt him becoming tense under your feet. So you decided to ask and see what he would say. You wondered if he would come right out and admit that he was feeling lustful, or if you would have to pull it out of him.

“What’s up, Spence?” You asked, glancing over the newspaper at him.

Then, Spencer said something incredibly stupid.

“They’re hosting some of Van Gogh’s original sketches at the Smithsonian Art Museum this month.” Spencer said, motioning toward the back page of the newspaper that you had extended in one hand. It was all advertisements, but one of them did say something about a Van Gogh exhibit including some of his original art.

He had been feeling dangerously nervous and wanted to deflect from himself.

“Hmm.” You said after you read it. “Maybe we should go check it out.”

Spencer’s face fell to disappointment at this suggestion, and you held back laughter.

“What? Did you have some other grand plans for the day?” You posed, knowing this would get the right reaction out of him.

“I…” Spencer let out a breath, clearly hesitating. “I was kind of hoping we could… play.”

You couldn’t hold back your grin. You loved that he was using the language you had taught him, feeling confident in putting the vocabulary to good use.

“How about this?” You posed, knowing that you were fully in charge, and it was up to you to make the plan. “We go and check out the art exhibit, and if you behave yourself on this little outing, then you can have whatever you want as a reward when we come back home.”

Spencer’s eyes lit up at this. He seemed highly motivated at the idea of having a ‘reward’.

“What would ‘behaving myself’ entail?” He asked, ever eager to have a set of rules to follow.

“Don’t touch me without permission.” You told him. “Keep your hands to yourself. Don’t nag me or keep asking when we’ll come home and play. And… well, there is one more thing. Something special that you could do for me.”

Spencer’s face knit with confusion at this.

“What’s that?” He asked.

“Hold on.” You told him.

Then you got up off the couch and abandoned your newspaper on the coffee table, leaving Spencer nervously fidgeting as he waited for your return. He was surprised when you came back with a bright pink shopping bag - something fairly small and girly. The shop logo on the side wasn’t one that he recognized, so he had no idea what could be inside the bag.

He waited patiently as you stood on the opposite side of the table and put the bag in the middle of it, and peeled back the pink tissue paper to take out the object inside the bag. He was slightly confused when you pulled out a small, delicate pair of lacy pink panties.

When you unfolded them and held them up to display them to him, he easily saw that they would be too small for you, and the confusion racked him even harder. If you hadn’t bought the underwear for yourself then-?

“I wanted you to wear these for me.” You told him, your voice steady. “Under your clothes all day. So just you and I know.”

Instantly, a wave of anxiety swept over Spencer.

You hated the look that came across his face and you tossed the underwear down as he spoke.

“Would - why?” He stuttered out. “Do you think it’s funny or something?”

Spencer hated it, but he was immediately brought back to a time in his childhood. A time when, as a child prodigy in a public high school, he had been forced to take a gym class with a bunch of older teenagers, and forced to change in the same locker room as everyone else, because the coach refused to ‘treat him special’ just because he was ‘a smartass’.

And at the time, he had thought nothing of his Ninja Turtles underpants until the other boys started pointing and laughing at them. They had thought his underwear was so funny, in fact, that they took his clothes, forcing him to walk out into the hallway in nothing but his underwear, fighting to get his clothes back.

Back then, he didn’t understand why someone’s underwear would be funny. But it had changed him and left him guarded and feeling small - even now.

“No, no, no, baby. Of course not.” You rushed to assure him otherwise, sitting down on the coffee table in front of him and putting a tender hand on his knee.

“I would never want to laugh at you. Or humiliate you.” You told him very sincerely.

You distinctly held back the urge to say ‘unless you want me to’. You didn’t think he was ready to know that some people role played humiliation on purpose. That would be for another day.

“Baby, I only wanted to do this because it’s a turn-on for me.” You continued. “But you don’t have to do it if you’re uncomfortable. I don’t want to make you upset or uncomfortable.”

“It - it turns you on?” Spencer’s face knit with intense confusion, contemplating your words carefully.

This was a brand new aspect that - now that it was presented to him, definitely had him processing the concept with fresh eyes.

He knew that films or comedic shows presented the idea of men wearing women’s clothing as a form of public humiliation. Even though during Shakespearan times it was artistic, a beautiful form of theater. In modern times, men were publicly mocked and shamed for parading around in clothing that wasn’t ‘meant’ for them.

Of course, growing up in Las Vegas, he was well aware of the existence of Drag Queens - people who fell somewhere between that Shakespearan theater and the Saturday Night Live style of comedy that was usually straight men wearing dresses. But drag performers dressed up in women’s clothing for money. They did it as a type of paid performance.

No part of Spencer’s mental catalog had any idea that people dressed in clothing that didn’t align with their gender as, well… a fetish.

Spencer imagined himself wearing the underwear - especially knowing that you would be looking at him with a lustful gaze while he wore it, and he felt a distinct tingle in his gut. He felt his mood shifting from anxiety to something warmer, but he was still on edge.

“Tell me what’s on your mind, baby.” You pleaded gently, rubbing your hand on Spencer’s knee. “I know that look. So come on, tell me what’s going on inside that big brain of yours.”

Spencer hadn’t realized that he had been sitting there for a prolonged moment, perhaps more than a few, a look of deep thought cast over his features as he considered all of this.

“I… I don’t hate the idea.” Spencer said tentatively.

He was still timid about his own desires, and he was unsure what it meant that he himself was becoming turned on by the idea of wearing women’s underwear. It was supposed to be a show for you, right? Was he supposed to enjoy it?

“You’re not just saying that because you’re trying to please me?” You replied.

You wanted to be sure that he was comfortable. You wanted to ensure that he knew he could say ‘no’ if he needed to.

Spencer shook his head.

“I - I think I could like it.” He said quietly, clearly shy about his own words. “I think I do. Just… can you tell me more about… why you like it?”

You gave a small grin, always happy to explain these kinds of things to him.

“Well, I think you would look good in them.” You said, being entirely honest. “To me, there’s something profoundly beautiful about the sight of a cock trapped in pretty lace. It’s unconventional and just so… pretty.” You explained, choosing your words carefully.

Spencer felt a unique twist in his gut when you used that word - ‘pretty’.

People had used that word to describe him before, but it always felt like it was teasing, or ironic. But when you said it, it sounded so genuine. It made Spencer want more. It made him want to hear it more because he wanted to feel pretty, especially in your eyes. It was something he had never wanted in his life before. It exponentially boosted his desire to wear those panties for you - if that would make him pretty to you, then he would certainly do it.

But he held back on voicing that for now, and simply let you continue.

“Plus, I do enjoy the idea of the two of us having a secret.” You told him. “The fact that you would be wearing those pretty panties under your clothes and we would be the only two people who know.”

Spencer definitely understood that. He liked sharing secrets with you.

It was how he felt all week - entirely filthy and victorious as he wielded his secret from everyone else. Having the knowledge that he had sex with you and the two of you were going about your days without anybody else knowing it. Sure, part of him wanted to brag to Morgan about it for some kind of social standing. But the bigger part of him much preferred the satisfaction of that secret. Having that secret side of you all to himself.

“But like I said, you don’t have to do anything that you’re uncomfortable with. You don’t have to do it just to please me.” You reiterated the point, entirely open with him.

“You really think I’m pretty?” Spencer asked quietly.

You found it adorable that he had become fixated on this word, clearly slightly distracted from the overall point.

“Yes.” You assured him. “You’re very pretty. You’re one of the most attractive people I’ve ever met, Spence.” You reached up and brushed your knuckles gently across his cheek, and he shivered lightly at the touch in combination with the brutally honest praise.

“Thank you.” He said, giving you a small smile. Then, he had a thought. “Can - can I try them on, and then… see how I feel? Before wearing them for the rest of the day?” He asked, nodding toward where you had set down the pink lacy panties.

It was such a brilliant idea - you weren’t sure how you hadn’t thought of it yourself first.

“Of course, baby. That’s a really good idea.” You nodded. “Do you want to go in the other room and put them on, or do you want me to help you?”

He found a warmth curling in his stomach at the idea of you helping him get dressed, and he absolutely couldn’t deny that offer.

“Can you help me?” He asked, looking at you with the sweetest doe eyes. You resisted the urge to simply climb on top of him, kiss the life out of him and make him cum again.

No. Today was going to be about making him wait. Making him needy - making him truly want.

“Okay, baby, stand up for me.”

Of course, he thrived on you giving him orders, so he did just as you told him without any hesitation.

He stood up in front of you and you guided him around the coffee table to have more room. He was wearing such a perfectly Spencer outfit - a navy blue knitted sweater vest with a button up shirt underneath, a pair of gray slacks with a brown belt, and his usual mismatched socks (one red with navy stripes and the other dark gray). He also had a gray blazer that he had ditched on the back of one of your kitchen chairs shortly after coming in.

It was interesting to know that even on his days off, Spencer still wore such ‘business’ clothing. But you supposed that it was all his wardrobe was made up of, because he likely didn’t consider it appropriate to leave the house in his loungewear.

In a lot of ways, much like everything else that he did - it was intensely adorable.

You put your hands on his belt and undid it, and unzipped his pants - when you slid them down over his thighs, you weren’t surprised to see that he was wearing the most Spencer kind of underwear: a pair of plain white briefs. He was half-hard, making a prominent shape in the cotton that caused you to hold back a wicked grin.

“I’m sorry, my underwear isn’t… sexy.” He said, his arms hovering awkwardly around his front as he clearly considered covering himself but hesitated in doing so.

“Don’t apologize, baby.” You said, getting down on your knees to take his pants the rest of the way down and untangle them from his ankles. Naturally, he put a hand on your shoulder and stepped out of them, a flush coming over him at how intimate the entire thing felt.

“That’s why I got these special just for you,” You told him, reaching over and grabbing the panties, holding them up for emphasis.

“You did?” He questioned.

You had taken the tags off shortly before presenting the underwear to him, and even though you had brought them out in a shopping bag, it wasn’t something he had considered. You had bought something like this with him in mind. This was the second time you had gone shopping and gotten him a special present and he couldn’t help but to feel so lovingly spoiled by you.

“I did.” You confirmed with a smile, looking up at him in a way that made him melt.

“Thank you, Miss.” He couldn’t help the title from spilling from his lips, and it immediately made your pussy throb with need.

Once again, you forced yourself to focus.

“I’m gonna take these off now, okay?” You said, reaching up and thumbing along the waistband of his underwear.

Spencer nodded.

“Use your words, please.” You reminded him sharply.

“Yes, Miss.” He said, nodding more frantically.

You took down his briefs and his cock swayed in the air - clearly on the way to being fully hard, smooth and beautiful. You found it adorable that his pubes were still entirely untamed. You loved that even after you had started showing sexual interest in him, he hadn’t felt the need to rush to groom himself. You preferred him like this, especially because the imagery of that bush entirely slick with his own cum would always be stuck in your mind, and you definitely wanted to recreate it again.

You were tempted to get a hand on his cock, to tease him. To get him to full hardness, making him leaking and whining and then force him to go out for a full day of activities. But he was still new to this and you weren’t that mean.

That, and you had a feeling that because it was Spencer, if he started begging you to cum, if he said ‘please’ in that pretty voice again, then you would most likely just give in to him and your whole plan would be ruined. Rather than going to the museum, you would simply spend the day with him tied to the bed and incoherent.

But you wanted to see how far you could truly push him if he was needy. If he was absolutely desperate. And a few hours of your attention directed away from him when he wanted it most (focusing on paintings rather than on pleasing him) along with rough lace scrubbing up against his cock should do very nicely.

You pulled the underwear down fully and just the same as you had with his pants, unhooked them from his ankles, leaving him fully dressed from the waist up, still wearing his socks. Then you picked up the panties again - you had chosen something that was aesthetically pleasing, and hopefully not too uncomfortable for him. It wasn’t anywhere near a thong in the back, but you knew that it would be snug on his cock - just what you were hoping for.

The moment that Spencer felt the lace brush against his skin, he was greeted by a brand new experience. He always chose his clothing based on the comfort of the fabrics - and he had certainly never worn anything with this kind of underlying roughness to it.

When you pulled it fully up over his hips and gently tucked his cock inside the waistband, he did find it thrilling. The fabric created a slightly irritated pain across his highly sensitive cock, and a tightness around his balls, but he found that in a way, he liked it. It was truly all brand new, and though he knew that the feeling was going to become an annoyance after a while, he was curious about the sexual aspects of it. He found that he wanted more.

Especially when he saw the look on your face.

Spencer looked utterly stunning like this. Infinitely better than you could have imagined. Seeing his half-hard cock trapped behind the pink lace as it was stretched over his slim hips almost had you drooling. You knew that the lust was clearly written across your face, and you couldn’t help but to reach up and gently stroke his cock through the fabric, getting a low moan from him.

“How does it feel, baby?” You asked, looking up at him from where you were still positioned on your knees.

With your warm hand on him through the fabric, with you looking at him like he was the most perfect thing in the world, there was only one possible answer.

“Good.” He easily replied. “Really good.”

You smiled at him. “Do you wanna keep them on for the day?”

“Yes, Miss.” He nodded eagerly. Truthfully, he was excited to see where the day would take the two of you.

You helped him put the rest of his clothes back on, then you sat him on the couch to wait for you so that you could go get dressed for the day. You found it entirely adorable when he wiggled around on the spot, clearly adjusting to the new feeling of wearing such tight, lacy panties.

Spencer felt even more intense lustful warmth wash over him when you returned in a flowy red dress with small white polka dots on it. It was a dress with a deep V neck and a tie around the waist, one that looked like it wrapped around your whole body. It accentuated your curves so well, making you look like a gorgeous Hollywood starlet.

You had on a pair of red heels and had a red purse with a long strap on your shoulder. You were truly a vision of beauty. He felt like he shouldn’t be allowed to go out in public with you, especially because people would see the two of you and assume that you were on a date.

(Was it a date? How the hell was he allowed to date someone as perfect as you?)

“And remember, baby. If you’re a good boy all day, then you can have a reward.” You told him, putting your foot up on the coffee table to adjust the strap of your shoe, not-so-subtly flashing him your underwear with how open and flowy the skirt of your dress was.

Spencer was brain dead by the sight for a moment, but then thought to ask:

“What kind of reward?”

“Well… whatever you want. You can pick.” You told him. “As long as you follow the rules.”

Oh, it was going to be a good day.

…

It seemed that your plan worked far better than you originally expected.

When the two of you first got into the museum, Spencer’s hands kept hovering around his waist, clearly resisting the urge to grab at his pants, to try and adjust the panties through his clothing. You combated this by grabbing one of his hands, and kept him busy by prompting him with questions about the paintings as you toured the non-Van Gogh sections of the museum for a while.

At times, Spencer became a bit too fixated on whatever he was saying, and you felt an eagerness to distract him from the art. As much as you enjoyed listening to him ramble on and always learned something from the sound of his sweet, soothing voice, you did have another goal in mind.

When he became a bit too immersed in his thoughts and recollection about whatever art history books he had read, you would provide him with some kind of physical touch that sent his mind absolutely rocketing off the rails, and sent his mouth sputtering as he tried to remember what he had been saying.

You would reach over and wrap your arms around his waist, possibly brushing your hand over his cock on the way. You might wrap an arm around his lower back and lean into his body, purposefully pressing your weight up against his side, letting him feel every single curve that you had to offer. You began to feel more bold as you wanted to get more of a reaction out of him, and you even reached up and planted stray kisses on the side of his neck, behind his ear.

As time progressed, his insights about the paintings became much more shallow, and he began to fidget more. You knew that he was growing intensely needy, and you loved it.

By the time the two of you got to the exhibit with Van Gogh’s original sketches that had drawn you to the museum in the first place, Spencer was oddly pensive and quiet. You let the silence linger as you carefully planned your next move.

Spencer interrupted the peaceful silence with his gentle, prodding voice.

“Be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high. Then life seems almost enchanted after all.”

“What does that mean?” You asked, turning to look at him.

“It was something Vincent Van Gogh said.” He noted, turning to look at you, mirroring your body language. “It means - well, I think it means that… that life can be full of trauma and darkness, but if you take the time to observe the beauties of your life, and realize how there are simplistic wonders all around us, then… the darkness doesn’t seem so big. The everyday parts of life can seem enchanting.”

You reached up and gently brushed Spencer’s hair back from his forehead, eagerly listening to his sweet voice as he spoke.

You knew - consciously or unconsciously - he was also speaking about the way that you made each other’s lives enchanting. Your job was full of darkness and horror, and it would be easy to fall to it. But you lifted each other up, and became that everyday enchantment that the other person needed.

Spencer’s eyes pointedly flickered down to your lips and then back up to your eyes before he continued.

“Van Gogh was famous for painting pictures of everyday sights. Flower vases, scenes from his village. The Starry Night was painted because he imagined that the stars above his village were a sure sign that God himself came down every single night to kiss the sky there. He didn’t see the mundane as simply… mundane. He saw it as beautiful and worth celebrating.” Spencer explained.

“You’re beautiful.” You easily fired back, and Spencer crumbled under the direct compliment.

In a moment, his cheeks dusted with pink and his posture shrunk. Where he was confident and tall when speaking about art history, he became small as he was trapped under your gaze, absolutely unsure how to take the compliment - especially as it was directed toward his looks. Especially as it made him feel oddly pretty.

When his eyes jumped back up from looking at the floor, his gaze was locked on your mouth once again. He tugged on the bottom of his blazer, and you could tell that he was becoming fidgety and anxious.

His anticipation was easily growing into need.

And so was yours.

Without telling him what was on your mind, you scanned the room. You thought you had seen something of note when you first walked into this section of the museum - and surely enough, in one of the corners, there was a thick black curtain covering a doorway. A curtain that had an ‘Employees Only’ sign pinned to it. Perhaps it led to some kind of storage closet, perhaps it led to another winding hallway.

Whatever was behind there, you were about to find out.

“Come here.” You told him, giving a gentle tug on his elbow that you were holding.

Naturally, entranced by your every movement and having nothing but the ability to follow you - Spencer walked on easy feet, guided by you as you marched across the room with purpose. He thought perhaps you had seen a painting that particularly caught your interest across the room, or that you were finally ready to leave and it was time to go home and get his reward.

But what happened next, he certainly did not expect.

You pulled him toward a dark curtain that was labeled with a sign - Employees Only.

Last time he checked, you hadn’t gotten a job at a museum.

He found himself slightly filled with anxiety at this fact, but you seemed entirely unfazed.

You simply pulled back the curtain and used Spencer’s anxious confusion to your advantage. You shoved him in first before he could question you, and then you climbed in yourself and carefully adjusted the fabric so it would seem completely undisturbed.

The area behind the curtain seemed to be nothing more than a long hallway with a few doors. It was clearly a lesser traveled area of the museum - a few of the lightbulbs overhead blown out and not replaced, the floor dingy and dusty. Perhaps those doors led to storage rooms or the place’s security facilities - but either way, the two of you weren’t supposed to be here.

His insides filled with panic at the idea of getting caught.

“Y/N-!” He called out your name harshly, but you cut him off by putting a hand in the middle of his chest and shoving him back against the wall.

Hitting the wall easily knocked the wind out of him. It was a surprising amount of force - you were much stronger than you looked. Of course, he had seen you take down suspects before. He had witnessed you tackle grown men to the grown with ease and marveled in awe at your strength, but you had never used that kind of force on him. He had never imagined what it would be like.

He found that it turned him on more than he could have imagined. The presence of your hand fisting the front of his sweater vest spread a dizzying heat through his body. He stared at you with parted lips and a slacked jaw as the lust and shock overtook him.

“Are you gonna be good for me?” You asked.

You stood away from him for a moment, removing your hands from him completely and leaving a few inches of space between your two bodies in the dim, dingy space.

You were giving him a clear opportunity to use his safeword if he truly wasn’t comfortable with fooling around in such a public space.

“We - we’re gonna get caught!” He whispered urgently to you, his voice hushed but still strained at the very thought of it.

You found it entirely adorable - how scandalized he was by this. You had done far worse and you hoped that you could get him to sink to your level over time.

“You let me worry about that, pretty boy.” You told him firmly. “Now - are you gonna be good for me?”

You asked one more time, your voice demanding and hopefully fully relaying the meaning of your words.

Spencer had a choice.

And with you standing there, staring him down with heat in your eyes, looking like such a vision of lustful beauty, when he had been waiting so long for your touch, for your attention… it wasn’t much of a choice at all.

He only wanted you.

“Yes.” He squeaked out quietly, swallowing thickly around his own doubt. “Yes, I’ll be a good boy.”

You grinned a wide Cheshire grin at his words, and in a moment, you were on him.

You possessively gripped at both sides of his blazer, easily bending him to your will. You surged forward and met him as you forced his body to bend downward, capturing his mouth in a demanding, heated kiss.

It was a tiny murmur in the back of your mind, reminding you that this was actually your first kiss with Spencer. You had already seen him naked and made him cum, and you were just now getting to taste his sweet lips. It was a funny thought.

In that moment, any worry about potentially getting caught easily flew from Spencer’s mind - any logic quickly dripped out of his ears.

He moaned beautifully into your mouth, and as you echoed a sound back, you had to wonder why you hadn’t kissed him sooner. He seemed to be a natural at it - or, this was the one thing that he had some real practice at. Which you were entirely thankful for. His lips were smooth against your own, heated and desperate, surging forward with intense gyrating motions - almost as if he was trying to consume you with his intense hunger.

Though in a moment, he easily fell under your control.

You reached a hand up to the back of his hair and took a tight grip there, holding him like he was a beautiful object that you owned, just a toy for you to play with. He let out a sharp whine from the back of his throat, and his jaw fell slack for a moment, allowing you to bite down on his bottom lip - hard, assuring him who was in charge.

The shock of pain from the bite had his hips bucking forward, and surely enough, you felt him fully hard, brushing against your hip through both of your clothing. He whined even sharper as he felt the roughness of the lace pressing against his cock, brushing against him with more force as he humped himself against you. It stung roughly and sent beautiful shocks of pleasure pulsing through him.

“What do you want, pretty boy?” You breathed against his lips.

Still desperate, needy for contact, he left a sloppy kiss on your chin before he spoke to answer the question.

“C-Can I touch you?” He whimpered out quietly. “Please.”

Your lips formed a wicked grin against him at this.

“Anything over my clothes.” You told him. When his hands still hung limply at his sides, you threw in some encouragement. “Come on, baby, touch me.”

You did have to wonder if he would have been bold enough to reach under the hemline of your dress - even if you hadn’t given him explicit permission. You wondered what he would have done if his fingers had gotten as far as your underwear. But with your instructions, he had full access to your ass and breasts and you were curious to see what he would do within the rules.

You dove in for another kiss, boldly possessing his mouth with a commanding strength once again. He whimpered against your lips and - feeling as needy as he was, he eagerly followed your instructions and began feeling you up over your clothing. His hands started out humbly on your hips as your experienced, certain lips battled against his needy, rapid ones. But soon enough, he became anxious and impatient with simply grabbing on your love handles through the cotton of your dress, and he needed more.

You yanked on his hair again and took advantage of his gasp-parted lips to shove your tongue into his mouth, your body pressed firmly against his with him leaning against the wall for support. His hands began to eagerly wander, consuming your flesh for the first time and truly getting a taste of what it was like to not just be commanded by you, but what it was like to be with you.

He began grabbing the roundness of your ass in needy handfuls, his touch truly exploratory - he didn’t touch you with any skill, didn’t touch you like he was trying to get you heated and turned on. He touched you because he wanted to touch your body, badly. He was simply displaying his own hungry need for you without even considering shame in doing so.

And that was something that caused you to moan into his mouth as you raked your tongue along his teeth. He even reached a hand up and shoved it between your two bodies, groping at your breast with absolutely no grace. He was digging his fingers into the flesh like he was trying to rip it off your body and possess it entirely. It was something so filled with need that it made you so damn hot, made your cunt ache between your thighs.

You knew that you wouldn’t be able to end the day without cumming - whether it be with his help or simply having him watch and beg to touch you.

You had so many plans for him. And you couldn’t wait to see them all play out before your eyes.

You felt his erection against your leg, throbbing with just as much need, and you felt that devilish urge rise up inside of you again.

You pulled away from his lips with a wet smack, the realization hitting you once again that - yes, technically, you were in a public setting. The thought sent a thrill through you, but you had to be at least somewhat careful, lest you get caught.

“You like touching me, baby?” You cooed against his cheek.

“Yes, Miss.” He breathed out.

When you opened your eyes partially, you had to contain a gasp.

His glasses were fogged up.

Just like something out of your fantasies, his glasses were clouded with steam from the heated exchange. But he didn’t seem to notice or care. From what you could see through the layer of dew, his eyes were screwed shut and he was far too focused on his lust. He was concentrating more on groping your breast with one hand and your ass with the other, giving small, aborted humps against your hip, clearly trying not to cum in his pants.

Oh god. You wanted to see him cum in his pants. Badly.

And it was rare that you didn’t get what you wanted.

“You want me to touch you?” You asked, nosing along his long, beautiful neck.

“Should - should we go home first?” He asked quietly.

Clearly, he was still afraid of getting caught.

“Hey, shh.” You breathed against his skin, causing him to shudder. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it. You let me do all the thinking, baby. Just answer the question,”

“Yes.” He moaned quietly. “I want-”

You didn’t let him finish, and cut him off with another heated kiss.

You distracted him with this, and he whimpered sharply against your lips the moment your hand was on him.

You groped his cock harshly through his pants, your hand skilled in a direct contrast to the way his touch was clumsy and only fueled by need. You knew exactly what you were doing, knew exactly how to drive him where he needed to go.

Your demanding touch closed the pink lace of the panties roughly around the sensitive skin of his cock. The feeling of it - being reminded of his little filthy secret, the thing that the two of you shared. That, on top of the fact that he had already been so close from the thrill of getting to touch you and grope you freely for the first time - that set him off so damn easily.

He didn’t have a moment to warn you that he was cumming or ask for permission. The only warning you got was a pathetic choked off moan that came from the back of his throat before his hips jolted into your hand, and the stuttering movement of his legs was a sure sign to you that he had cum inside his pants.

You pulled away from his lips to admire your work.

His face was nicely flushed, continuing to add to the fog clouding up the lenses of his glasses. His hair was entirely messy and tousled, giving an absolutely sex crazed look to him even though he still had all his clothes on - clothes that were wrinkled and messy, adding even more to the look. His pants with a slight damp spot forming on the crotch as his load soaked through the thin fabric of the panties and began to soak into his pants as well. You couldn’t help but to give his sensitive cock an extra little squeeze through his pants, causing him to whimper harshly and shake at the touch.

You loved seeing him so fucked out and pathetic.

“I - I’m sorry!” He immediately began to apologize, reaching to pull down his vest in an effort to cover his crotch, as though wanting to hide the evidence of his orgasm that was rapidly soaking into his clothes. “I’m sorry, Miss!”

Of course, he thought he had made some grievous misstep but breaking the rule - by not asking permission before he had cum. When it was something you had been gunning for, wanting him to cum for you.

“Hey, shh, shh, it’s okay baby.” You murmured against his skin. “It’s okay.”

Before he could think too hard about it or get too swept up in his emotions (and frankly, before the two of you could get caught in such a state) - you grabbed one of his hands and then dragged him out of the museum completely. You barely slowed from a brisk walk until the two of you got back to the car. Even with Spencer holding his vest down over his crotch out of embarrassment, if anyone took a second look at his wrecked hair, dewey glasses and kiss-swollen lips, they absolutely would have known what had happened to him, and you loved the thought of it.

…

You spent the entire ride home assuring him that he had done nothing wrong.

It took a lot of soothing from your voice and a few well placed gropes to his crotch over the car’s console with your other hand on the wheel. This got him hard again, made him distracted from beating himself up for not being able to follow the rules explicitly. Instead, now he was focused on the way his throbbing cock felt swimming around in his own cum-soaked underwear.

He didn’t need to feel guilty for not following the rules. You didn’t intend to punish him for breaking that rule, because he had just been too pretty while breaking it. Besides - you couldn’t imagine spanking someone so soft and new.

You couldn’t imagine saying no to him.

In all honesty, you kind of hated yourself for going soft. This would be the first time since you had become a dom that you hadn’t punished a sub for breaking a rule. But this wasn’t just any sub, this was Spencer. You couldn’t explain why, but he was just allowed to get away with things. He deserved to be spoiled.

By the time you did get home, Spencer was breathless and filled to the brim with need once again. If his tears had been from self punishment and guilt at first, they were now from sheer need. He was desperately wringing his hands in his lap to keep from pawing at you because he felt that he had not been given permission to do so during the car ride.

When you pulled into your parking spot, he looked over at you through his now clearer glasses lenses with big, wanting eyes.

“You’re sure that you’re not mad, Miss?” He asked quietly, giving an adorably dramatic sniffle.

“I am absolutely not mad, baby.” You told him. “It’s difficult to ever be mad at you when you’re so damn pretty.” You ‘booped’ his nose at this, and the smile he gave was so genuine that it made your insides glow with pride. “Now, what do you say we get you out of those soiled clothes and into something more comfortable?”

“I - I didn’t bring a bag.” He said, looking over to his car across the lot longingly.

“You didn’t bring a bag to the sleepover?” You cooed. “How silly, baby.” Spencer looked entirely downtrodden, as though all of his plans for the day were ruined. “I’m sure that I can find something for you to wear.”

This conjured up a delightful image in your mind of him wearing more lingerie. But no, you needed to find him something comfortable instead. He had been good, and he deserved to be rewarded for it. You were sure that despite the size difference, he would be able to fit into some of your pajama pants with the waist tie knotted up a few times. Hopefully the waistband wouldn’t absolutely fall off him.

He seemed more upbeat at this, and the two of you got out of the car and went up to your apartment, Spencer easily following your lead, as always. He carried your purse loyally, something you found to be a covert turn-on. You liked seeing the subtle ways he could serve you.

When you got up to your apartment, you tossed your keys into the bowl where you normally kept them, and Spencer made a point of hanging the long strap of your bag on the coat rack - something you found so entirely cute.

You then took Spencer to the kitchen to get him a glass of water to help him calm down. The entire time he drank it, you gently stroked his hair and told him what a good boy he was. This seemed to relax him entirely, which satisfied you on a deep level.

Then, you grabbed his hand and steered him in the direction of the bathroom to help him clean up. With his shoes already ditched near the front door, you peeled off his blazer and threw it over the back of the couch along the way, not giving him a moment to speak about hanging it up ‘properly’ or whatever else was gonna come out of his mouth before you bustled him along to the next room.

In your quaint apartment, the bathroom was at the end of the hallway, and he caught a small glimpse into your bedroom before you continued shoving him down the hall. He saw twinkling lights and pink silken sheets and felt his stomach tingle - it was nothing like he had imagined it, but he kind of loved that.

Your bathroom was just as entracing.

The tiles were pearlescent blue - obviously vintage, along with a clawfoot tub to match, and you had decorated everything with quite a beautiful sense of style to match. A floral blue shower curtain, a fuzzy blue bath mat, and a small golden cart in the corner holding all of your different products. Spencer had the urge to pick up the bottles and start smelling them, wondering if he could get more of your amazing scent right from the source, or if it was the unique, distinct combination of those products along with your natural skin oils that made you so intoxicating.

You shut the door gently behind the two of you when you got him into the small room. He found himself pressed right up against the counter of the small bathroom vanity, his back to the ornate mirror and your back to the door. This left only a few inches of space between your two bodies as you looked up at him with a gentle, sweet expression.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” You told him.

Spencer smiled at you.

“And then, after you’re all nice and clean, I think you can have your reward.” You told him, your voice low and dripping with decadent promise. “You were a very good boy today.”

“I was?” He said eagerly.

Then, after a moment, he realized that he shouldn’t be questioning it. Because it was against the rules to question your judgment, and because you had just told him that he was deserving of a reward.

“I mean - yeah, I was.” He quickly corrected himself, trying to sound confident in this statement.

You let out a soft chuckle at this. Then, you gently grabbed his chin and pulled him into a soft, sweet kiss.

“You were, baby.” You told him confidently. “You were a very good boy today.”

You absolutely adored the look on his face as you said this. His features became so soft and hazy, almost as if he was drunk. Clearly he was so high on the praise, loving knowing that he had behaved well for you, that you were giving him your stamp of approval and that he was about to be well rewarded for it.

“Do you know what you want as your reward?” You asked, curiosity bubbling up inside of you.

Spencer’s eyes filled with equal parts glee and contemplation. This was such a mighty question.

As the question hung in the air, you reached up and gently took off his glasses, placing them on the counter beside the sink. As good as he looked in them, you didn’t want to accidentally knock them off his face and break them while you were stripping him out of his clothes. You then reached for the bottom of his sweater vest, still reeking with curiosity as to how he would answer the question.

He imagined all kinds of things - one of the obvious ones was of course, sex. Full blown intercourse. But something deep inside of him told him that he wasn’t sure if he was quite ready for that. Part of him feared ‘messing up’ and still felt self conscious - like he should perform well and impress you, even though you quite clearly took the lead and hadn’t been unimpressed with anything from him so far.

Deep down, he did know that his first time would be comfortable, safe, and beautiful if it was with you. And truthfully, he didn’t want it to be with anyone else. He couldn’t picture his first time having intercourse if it wasn’t with you in his ear, cooing about what a good boy he was.

But still, he wasn’t quite ready for that yet.

You got the vest off over his head, humming a calming tune quietly under your breath - a sign showing him that you were okay with the quiet, giving him time to contemplate his answer. As much time as he needed. You got to work on the buttons of his shirt, slowly and delicately undressing him as though he were a precious doll. It was something that caused goosebumps to form across his skin.

He thought more about it.

So - he didn’t want to ask for intercourse.

He definitely wanted to touch you more. He liked touching you - he loved touching you. He definitely wanted permission to touch you under your clothes, to explore your naked body. He thought it might be silly to simply ask for his reward to be ‘touch naked breasts please’. You might find that silly.

No, he could do better than that.

When you began to peel the sleeves of the shirt off his shoulders and it caused a quiet shiver through him, that’s when it struck him.

“I know.” He said quietly. “I know now.”

“You know what you want your reward to be, baby?” You prodded gently, gathering the fabric of the shirt in your hands and tossing it into the laundry basket behind you.

Perhaps you would get up early the next morning and do a load of laundry to wash his clothes so he could have something to wear home. You were struck with the vision of him wearing a pair of your sweatpants and one of your big comfortable tee-shirts walking back to his apartment from your car. You wondered - if the two of you were going to continue having these ‘sleepovers’ if you should clear a drawer for him to keep some clothes at your place and vice versa. That seemed far too domestic in your mind, but it just made good sense, didn’t it?

You were snapped out those thoughts when Spencer finally gave you his answer.

“I want to give you pleasure.” He breathed out quietly. “You’ve given me pleasure. I want to pleasure you.”

His choice of words was somehow utterly adorable and spine-tingling at the same time. He sounded like a dreamy paperback smut novel come to life. But as you reached for the buckle of his belt to continue undressing him, you had to ask for clarification, just to be sure.

“What do you mean by that, Spence?” You asked, punctuating the sentence with the click of the belt buckle.

“I -”

He let out a hot breath as you pulled his belt completely from the loops and let it fall to the bathroom floor with a quiet ‘clunk’. His next words were paired with the sound of the zipper teeth on his trousers coming down.

“I want to give you an orgasm.” He let out a quiet whimper when your hand grazed his dick as you worked the fly of the pants apart. “I want you to teach me.” He said quietly, his voice a lot weaker as he became dizzy with pleasure once again.

“You want me to teach you, huh?” You purred.

You became temporarily distracted from this thought when you peeled his pants down further and the most delicious sight was revealed to you. His cock, half hard and still trapped inside the pink lace - which was now stuck to his shaft completely with his own cum. Just as you had imagined in your fantasies, it was absolutely wet. Slick like a pretty pink floral second skin as it sat below his waistline, making his sticky pubes and his sensitive cock look even more sinful while he sat marinating in his own load.

You couldn’t help yourself - you reached forward and greedily groped his cock through the lace. You went so far as to trap the sensitive pink cockhead between your fingers and wring the roughness of the fabric around it, knowing that it would get a reaction out of him. Spencer sobbed with overwhelming pleasure and bucked his hips forward, such a beautifully broken sound. When you continued the motion, he surged a hand up to grab your wrist as he twisted his body slightly away from you - clearly overstimulated.

You stopped the roughness in exchange for a gentle petting of your fingertips, and you leaned in to nose across the skin of his neck once again.

You surprised yourself when your next words flew out of your mouth, almost without restraint.

“Hey, shh. It’s okay, Mommy’s just looking.” You told him in a hushed tone.

The moment that the word escaped your lips - Mommy - your gut dropped with crippling fear. You thought that he would hate it or become disgusted by it. But he let out another whimper, and when you looked into his eyes, you were met with nothing but a sharp burning and a reckoning that he had absolutely no clue he would have liked to call you that up until then.

You left the air blank for a moment, giving him time to adjust - time to back down from it if he wanted to. Or time to rise to it if he wanted it just as badly as you did.

“M-?” He squeaked out, and you gave him patience. “Mommy?” He said quietly, testing the waters.

He found that a warmth washed over him, and he liked it far more than he thought he would have.

Your breath caught in your throat and you held back a moan. Your muscles shook slightly as you resisted the urge to jump him - to make him say it again, with more desperation, with more lust. There would be plenty of time for that, you told yourself.

“Yes, baby?” You answered quietly.

“Can I take them off now?” He asked, referring to the panties feeling damp and cold and uncomfortable on his skin at this point. “You said you had some pajamas for me?”

You smiled at him. “I’ll take these off and clean you up a bit and then I’ll get you some pjs. Okay, baby?”

He nodded.

“Yes, M-Mommy.” He stuttered slightly, still wearing in the nickname - but he loved it.

He loved how it was warm and comfortable and familiar, and much less formal than calling you ‘Miss’.

‘Miss’ was a nice teacher, someone good at making rules, but ‘Mommy’ was someone he could make a home out of. At least he hoped that’s what the two of you were doing. ‘Mommy’ didn’t seem too strict about the rules, and honestly, Spencer liked that.

You helped him peel out of his slightly wet pants and completely ruined, soaked underwear. (You would definitely be washing those for a future use.) You tossed both items into the hamper, and then peeled off his cute (once again mismatched) socks and tossed those aside too before you grabbed a washcloth and soaked it with warm water to clean him off with.

The entire time you wiped down his cock, he let out sweet whimpers and gently bumped into your touch. By the end, it was almost difficult to keep him clean, because his cock was fully hard and leaking precum slightly as you smoothed the warm cloth over his lower tummy and made sure to gently clean off his balls. It was oddly adorable, him making a mess faster than you could clean it up.

When you were satisfied with this, you tossed the cloth into the sink and gave him a kiss on the cheek, telling him that you would be back shortly with a change of clothes for him.

It was only when he was standing alone in the bathroom that he felt exposed - only then realizing how truly well… naked he actually was. He crossed his arms over his chest, trying not to be embarrassed by it as he awaited your return.

After what felt like far too many minutes for his taste, you returned with something pink and soft looking in your hands.

The panties had been surprising, and while itchy, had made him feel… oddly pretty. He would be hesitant to admit it aloud, but you were already making him grow to like the color pink and how it made him feel.

You unfolded the piece of clothing and held it up for him to look at. It was a pair of long pajama pants that obviously belonged to you. (Spencer worried that the waistband would be too large for him, even with the tie that was available). They were made of a silken, soft material that seemed like it would be very light and comfortable to wear. They were a rosy pink color, very girly and feminine. Very pretty. He also noticed that you hadn’t brought a shirt for him, but he supposed that he didn’t have to worry too much about that. You had already seen him naked. Twice now.

“Good?” You posed.

Spencer nodded. “Thank you.” He said, giving you a small smile.

He felt that warmth coming over him once again when you helped him step into the pants and even pulled the fabric up over his body, going so far as to secure the tie around his waist, making sure the loose fabric wouldn’t fall off his hips. The thin, very unforgiving fabric easily showed every single detail of his cock through it - his hardness now perfectly outlined in pink, which only made the heat growing under your skin swell to a dangerous level.

Lastly, you grabbed his glasses off the counter and put them back on his face, making sure that he would be able to see fully and pay attention during his next ‘lesson’.

“There.” You said, giving him another sweet kiss on the lips. “Mommy’s good boy is all clean.” Spencer preened at these words. “And pretty as a picture.”

You delighted in the obvious blush that this last comment drew from him. You couldn’t help it - you loved praising him so sweetly, especially if it drew those kinds of reactions from him.

“Now, baby, I want you to go sit on the couch and wait for me.” You told him gently. “I have to go and put on something a little more comfortable for myself.”

You held back a devilish smirk. Of course, he had to think that this would mean you were going to put on some casual cotton pajamas - something genuinely comfortable and not at all a fulfillment to the male fantasy. And sure, you felt comfortable in lingerie. It made you feel beautiful.

That was part of the reason you were going to do it.

That, and you felt the need to make everything special for Spencer. This was going to be the first time he saw you in such a state of undress. Of course, you could argue that him seeing you in your panties and camisole a few nights ago had been pretty much the same, and he had looked upon you like you were a goddess then. But it had been practically dark then and you wanted this to be well lit and truly a fantasy come to life for him.

“Yes, Mommy.” He said, giving a small nod.

He left and walked out to the living room, going to sit on the couch as you had instructed, and you felt a delightful mischievous streak as you went into your bedroom and picked out what you would wear.

As you got dressed, you thought more about what he had said.

He wanted to give you an orgasm.

It would be very nice to have him inside of you. He had one of the nicest cocks you had ever seen - he was so long and beautiful, and seeing him inside of the fleshlight had caused you to imagine what he would feel like inside of you.

But you knew that if you let him fuck you, he would be clumsy. He didn’t have the technique or experience. Or the stamina. That was definitely something you wanted to work on first. And with how he had reacted from cumming in his pants earlier that day - something you had wanted, he likely would have a crash and be terribly anxious if he came while fucking you and you didn’t get to cum first.

Making you cum seemed to be his primary goal.

That brought you to the thought of putting him on his back - riding him, essentially using him like a human dildo. It would be intensely hot - having him below you, completely at your mercy. Getting to listen to his moans and whines and getting to see him completely fucked out underneath you while his perfect cock throbbed deep inside of your pussy. It would be perfect.

But - he wouldn’t learn anything that way. If he wanted to learn how to make you cum, it certainly wouldn’t happen like that. He would be fucked stupid and you would cum, and you would certainly enjoy yourself. But he would be brain dead and cum drunk. He certainly wouldn’t learn or retain anything from the experience.

No - if he wanted to learn how to make you cum, and if he wanted to put his genius to good use, then there was one certain way to do it.

You were fully satisfied with your plan. You took one last look in the mirror, and you were fully satisfied with your look, too.

You had put on a push-up bra with a black and red lace pattern, something that displayed your breasts well. With the padding and the ‘push-up’ effect, it definitely gave the cartoonish, fantasy effect that you were going for. You had on the matching garter belt, which had a few lacy roses adoring it. You didn’t have it attached to anything, though you had considered wearing stockings, you didn’t think Spencer would like the texture of them. You thought he would much prefer to feel your naked skin against him. You simply liked the look of the garter belt hanging around your waist, accenting the plushness of your stomach.

You also put on a pair of the matching lacy black and red floral panties - they were fairly cheeky, letting half of your ass hang out, and fairly sheer so that your trimmed pubic hair could be seen through the fabric in the front. And lastly, you had thrown on a sheer, long black robe over the whole thing, giving a very ‘Moulin Rouge’ look to the whole thing. Along with a pair of six black heels - the kind that hurt your feet and you would only use to, well - go to bed and keep your legs above your head while wearing.

You looked like a sex dream, if you did say so yourself.

Rather than walking into the other room to get Spencer, you went over to your bed and propped yourself up on some pillows in the middle of it, making sure the fabric of your robe was billowing and appealing around you before you called out to him.

“Spencer, honey, I’m ready!” You called out. “You can come in now!”

You heard him coming down the hallway and you swelled with eagerness, almost too excited to see what his reaction would be.

When he pushed the door open, he immediately froze when his eyes were met with the sight of you.

Standing in the doorway put him right at the foot of your bed, and he thought for sure - at some point between here and the museum, he must have died and gone to heaven. Framed by the twinkling lights that were wrapped around the head of your bed, propped up on a variety of fluffy pillows - you were an image of perfection.

Your breasts were pushed up to your chin, especially with the angle you were laying at, so perfectly framed by the floral lace of your bra. There was so much for his eye to greedily consume, and he didn’t think he should be allowed to consume it all so shamelessly. The curved planes of your body, the beautiful, soft zig-zags of your stretch marks, like guides laid out for his tongue. The fabric showing just enough skin, showing off every curve of your womanly body, so thick and ready to dominate him at a moment’s notice.

There was a gentle power in the way you were lounging back, framed by the black, soft fabric of your billowing robe - your whole body relaxed as you waited for him. It made him want to press his forehead to the floor in a bow to you, made him want to beg just for the precious permission to touch you.

“Is - that-? Your-? Paja-mas-?” He squeaked out, every single word becoming a pitch higher, making his shock all the more apparent.

“Kind of.” You told him with a giggle. “This is what I wanted to wear for my good boy.”

“You - you wore this for me?” He swallowed thickly around these words, clearly in disbelief.

If you weren’t mistaken, you saw his cock twitch inside those silken pink pants. You loved how even though the fabric covered him, the outline of his cock was so entirely visible. The band of the pants being loose had caused them to slip so low on his hips, even causing the top bit of his pubic hair to be visible as he stood there, entirely uncaring (and likely unaware) of it.

“Yes, baby.” You told him. “Now, come sit on the bed.”

Spencer rushed to follow your instruction, almost tripping over your bedroom rug in the process. That caused you to bite your lip, holding back a grin - you wouldn’t want him to think you were laughing at him, after all.

Spencer gently sat on the edge of the bed with his feet still on the floor, his bum just barely grazing against your thigh. You found it adorable that he was still being so timid about making contact.

You spread your legs wide, and gestured between them.

“Come sit here.” You told him.

“Oh.” He said quietly.

He stood up then and looked at the space between your legs. His expression was very comparable to a man afraid of heights looking like he was about to take a dive off a cliff into deep water.

“It’s okay, Spencer.” You assured him. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, remember?”

“I know.” He said quietly. “It’s just - it’s all so new.” He whispered. “I - I want to be good.”

You wondered if the last part was about his ability to behave and follow the rules, or… if it was about something else.

“Spencer, baby, are you worried about impressing me?” You wondered aloud.

The expression on his face at this was very telling - a flicker of embarrassment, his hands twitching as he ached to play with his fingers, wanting to distract himself from the conversation.

“Look, I know you’re new to all this. I’m not expecting you to be some sex expert, or a porn star or something.” You assured him. “That’s why I’m here to teach you, baby.”

“What if I do it wrong?” He asked, his voice still so timid, so small.

“Then I’ll show you how to do it right.” You told him. “That’s why I’m here. I’m not gonna laugh at you, or yell at you. I’m just gonna show you what I like and how to do it right.”

It should have been obvious. Someone of his talent, his caliber, someone who had everything come so naturally to him his entire life, someone who had accomplished so much at such a young age - he was terrified of tackling something unknown, something he was afraid to mess up. He was afraid of being a bad student.

He had just enough time in the living room to sit and stew in those insecurities, and now you had to lovingly battle them.

“Come sit with me, baby.” You urged, leaning forward to pat the space on the bed between your thighs.

You scrunched up the fabric of your robe so he wouldn’t sit on it, and finally, he moved to crawl between your legs - kneeling on the bed with his feet tucked underneath his bum and his hands fidgeting in his lap. His knees were slightly brushing against your inner thighs, but he wasn’t sitting terribly close to you. That was something you left alone for now.

You sat up slightly, leveling your body with his, and ran your hand along his arm, trying to soothe him.

“So, you said you wanted to learn how to give me an orgasm, right?” You posed.

Spencer nodded.

“Come on, use your words.” You told him.

“Yes, Mommy.” He said quietly, clearly still feeling insecure and hesitant. “I want that.”

He could only imagine how beautiful it would be so see you writhing in pleasure - to hear you calling out his name as you orgasmed, breathless. To see your body arching up off the bed as he brought you to climax. He could only imagine the headrush it would cause him to know that he had caused it for you.

“Well, I think the best way for you to do that is by using your hands.” You explained. “Stimulating me with your fingers.”

“My hands?” He questioned, looking from you down to his hands in his lap.

Honestly, it was never something he had thought about. Yes - he used his hands to make himself orgasm, but that was only because he was alone. The act of masturbation was more like a mind-clearing chore for him than anything. (Before you came into his life and turned all of his ideas about sex upside-down.)

He did have to consider that you used your hands to stimulate yourself, to masturbate - but he had no clue how.

But he guessed that would be part of the learning process.

“Yes, baby.” You smiled eagerly. “And I know you’re gonna be good with your hands. You’re very skilled because you do all that sleight of hand and close up magic.”

Spencer felt a rush of confidence at the praise, and couldn’t stop the grin that formed over his face at your words.

“Well, you see, sleight of hand doesn’t actually require that much dexterity or skill, like playing a sport does, because it’s more so about practicing the same movement over and over again until it becomes ingrained muscle memory.” He explained, easily sounding in his element.

You couldn’t believe how easily he had set you up for your next words. It was almost like he had walked into a trap.

“Well, what I’m going to teach you is also about repetitive movements.” You explained. “And it will definitely become muscle memory for you over time.”

Spencer smiled fondly hearing this. He was now more confident that he would be good at what you were going to teach him.

“So… where do we start?” He asked, becoming that eager student once again.

“Here, let me look at your hands.” You told him.

He was slightly confused by this, but didn’t have time to question it because you snaked your hands under his palms where they were sitting in his lap. His dick had wilted slightly from the anxiety, so he was only half hard in his pants. But he let out a small whimper when you accidentally crazed against it as you took his hands in yours and lifted them up to get a good look at them.

“It’s important that your nails are trimmed.” You told him, lifting his hands up close to your face to get a good look. “You don’t want your nails to be too long, or you might accidentally hurt me. And that’s just a general rule whenever you’re putting your fingers inside someone.”

He became slightly intimidated at the idea of putting his fingers inside you, but he tried not to let it show.

“I trimmed my nails last night.” He said, proud that he had done something good. “It’s a good grooming habit.”

He didn’t want to bring up the fact that - per his germophobia, he always kept his nails trimmed because he was afraid of too much build up getting under his nails and making him sick (even though he washed his hands multiple times a day). But he was just glad he could do something to please you.

You couldn’t stop staring at his hands. It was something you had noticed before in passing - but they were gorgeous. He had such strong, prominent muscles here. Long, thick fingers - he was going to do very well at this. Once he was well trained up, you knew you weren’t going to be able to go for very long without having those fingers inside of you.

“Very good, baby.” You said, finally snapping out of your lustful revere.

You raised one of his hands up and kissed the back of it. And then, continued on, kissing a path along his hand to his knuckles until you reached the tip of his middle finger. As natural as ever, you gently sucked his middle and ring finger into your mouth. Of course, you were just playing around, admiring. His hands were so nice that you couldn’t help but to have one in your mouth.

“Oh,” Spencer moaned quietly.

When you looked over at him, he was staring you down with lustful eyes. His lips slightly parted as his gaze locked onto the place where your lips drew his fingers in, taking him down to the second knuckle. You gently swirled your tongue around the digits as you enjoyed the thickness in your mouth. You could lightly taste floral soap on his skin and knew that he had washed his hands in the kitchen sink when you had sent him out to wait for you.

After a moment of this, you pulled back, your lips separating from his skin with a wet ‘smack’. (Though you wanted it to be longer - you loved those fingers, you could have easily held them in your mouth for a long time).

“Yeah, these are good fingers.” You assured him, giving him a deliberate wink. “You’re gonna be good at this, Spence.”

Spencer shuddered with pleasure at this.

You leaned back onto your pillows, making yourself comfortable while he watched in awe.

“I’m gonna take off my underwear now. Is that okay?” You asked gently.

“Yes.” He said, nodding eagerly. “Yes, Mommy.”

You lifted your hips to wiggle out of them. When the fabric was at your knees, he naturally met you halfway, taking the panties down your calves and very delicately untangling them from around your high heels. He concentrated on the task in a way that told you he wasn’t even trying to take a premature glimpse at your naked cunt. It was entirely endearing.

Once he had the fabric completely untangled from your shoes, you naturally moved your legs to bracket them around his body once again. This completely exposed your wet pussy to the cool air, and he stared at the underwear in his hands, clearly perplexed about what to do with it now.

“Just toss it on the floor, baby.” You told him.

He did so, and then, with nowhere else to look, his eyes locked onto your naked pussy for the first time.

Paintings and pictures had shown him the scientific side or even the objective beauty of the female anatomy. But seeing you laid bare before him, adorned in lacy accoutrements - this was truly sexy.

His blood ran hot, and his cock throbbed to full hardness in a dizzying record time as he laid eyes on the glistening lips of your pussy. Seeing how real you were - the way your skin tone faded from the shade that matched the rest of your body to the more raw, wet skin of your inner folds, clearly swollen with need. Your pubic hair, slightly trimmed and glossy with your wetness - everything about you was so real and it made Spencer’s cock ache.

“Scoot a bit closer, baby.” You told him, hitch your knees apart further, spreading yourself open for him. “Can you see okay?”

Your pussy made a wet sound as it spread open for him, and he let out a quiet gasp in awe as more of you was bared to his eyes. You were so beautiful, so raw, so perfect, so hot - he almost couldn’t handle it.

You knew he was likely becoming too entranced to answer the question. With the way his eyes were so tightly locked onto your cunt, you guessed that - yes, he could see just fine. Just seeing the utterly entranced expression on his face caused a throbbing heat through you, you were sure that if he paid enough attention, he would be able to see the wetness actively dripping out of you.

“Spencer, look at me.” You ordered sharply. “Look at Mommy.”

Spencer forced his eyes up to your face, and you smiled at him when he managed to follow the order.

“How much do you know about the female anatomy?” You asked him.

“I - I’ve read books.” He answered quietly.

“Good.” You told him, trying to be encouraging. “Do you know where the clitoris is?”

“I - um-” Spencer looked down at your pussy and found himself suddenly nervous again, not knowing if he should touch you, or if he should point, or-

“You can put your hands on me.” You told him. “I’m here to teach you, baby. Let me be your… in-person diagram.”

Spencer nodded.

Then, as naturally as he possibly could, he reached down and put a gentle hand on the top of your mound. He was so feather-light that you had to forcefully hold back a laugh, feeling ticklish at the touch. With his palm mostly spread out mostly over your pelvis, he used a thumb to pull your pussy lips back.

Then, he saw that very obvious swollen button staring at him. With the pointer finger on his other hand, he sought it out like a guided missile, entirely confident in his answer. Before he could truly think about it - he poked your clit with that singular finger, pointing to it as his answer.

“There.” He mumbled quietly.

“Oh-!” You breathed out sharply, your hips surging toward his touch.

His touch had been so abrupt (especially after so much anticipation on your part) that it sent an unexpected shockwave through your body.

Spencer immediately recoiled, believing that he had hurt you.

“I’m sorry.” He quickly apologized. “I’m sorry! Did I hurt you?”

He drew back both his hands instantly, curling them up to his chest as if he had done something terribly wrong.

“No, no you didn’t hurt me!” You quickly assured him, putting your hands up in a surrendering motion to drive the point home. “Everything is fine, baby.”

“Then what-?” He asked, his voice very meek and small. “What was that?”

“I’m sensitive, baby. My body is sensitive. And I wasn’t expecting you to do that.” You chuckled.

Spencer gave a small frown, clearly believing he had done something wrong.

“The clitoris has a lot of nerve endings.” You explained, giving a chuckle to try and lighten the mood. “That’s kind of the point. That makes things more pleasurable.”

“Oh.” He said.

After a moment, his body began to relax as he chugged with thought, his eyebrows knitting tight like they always did when he was pondering something.

“Oh… so that was… that was a good stimulation?” He posed.

“Yes.” You told him. “I want you to touch my clitoris because it feels good. It’s one of the easiest ways to make a woman feel good.”

He nodded, and then he moved his hands to touch you again. But you had a thought first. You caught his hands halfway, and held them in your own as you spoke.

“Listen first.” You told him.

He looked at your face obediently as you explained it to him.

“Typically, for women, there are two types of orgasms,” You put on your ‘teacher’ voice once again, and he relaxed and put his hands back in his lap, clearly eager and ready to listen, wanting to absorb the information to the fullest. “A clitoral orgasm or a vaginal orgasm. Can you guess what that means?”

Spencer thought about it for a moment.

“An orgasm achieved by clitoral stimulation versus an orgasm achieved by vaginal stimulation?” He posed.

You grinned. “Very good. Good boy.”

He grinned back, easily soaking up the praise.

“So, it depends on the person you’re with, but generally, most women achieve orgasm through a combination of both clitorial and vaginal stimulation. And a good rule of thumb is to always ask someone what they enjoy,” You told him. He nodded at this. “And also, looking at someone’s facial expressions and body language can tell you if you’re doing well at stimulating them. It’s like profiling.”

“Well… what kind of facial expressions and body language should I be looking for?” He asked.

You found this oddly amusing. To you, it was obvious that a back arching and lots of moaning and an ‘O’ face meant good sex, but Spencer was truly just that fresh. He simply didn’t know.

“Well…” You took a moment to gather a mental list for him. “Typically, someone makes a lot of involuntary body movements if the stimulation is good. Good sex stimulates your nerve endings, so it makes your muscles twitch, and it can even make your limbs flail around or make your back arch off the bed.”

Spencer nodded, his face still very intense and thoughtful as he took this in.

“And when people are enjoying sex, they usually make a lot of sounds. Gasps, moans. They might swear or call out your name. And most people do just tell you that they’re enjoying it,” You giggled.

Spencer nodded again. Then he posed a thoughtful question.

“What about facial expressions?” He asked.

“I know it might sound strange… but, you’ll know an expression of someone lost in pleasure when you see it.” You told him.

These words made his whole body tingle. And naturally, made him wonder what your face would look like when you were lost in pleasure.

“What do you prefer?” He asked. “Do you prefer clitoral stimulation or vaginal stimulation?”

“I prefer a combination of both.” You told him. “That’s usually what makes me cum the hardest.”

“You mean ‘cum’ as in orgasming?” Spencer said, repeating back this vocabulary to you with pride.

“Yes, baby.” You told him with a nod.

He beamed at getting the answer correct.

“I thought we could start with clitoral stimulation and then move on to vaginal stimulation.” You explained. “Usually it’s easy to… warm up with clitorial stimulation. It makes the vaginal muscles more relaxed before penetration.”

You found it odd to be using such clinical terms - the words were so stiff in your mouth, but you supposed that it was the healthiest way to explain everything to him.

Spencer nodded eagerly at this.

“You should wet your fingers first. Maybe spit on them?” You posed - this was a selfish request, wanting the delight of seeing him suck on his own fingertips.

“That doesn’t sound the most sanitary…” He said quietly, cringing.

Hearing him say this presented a new goal in your mind - getting him so fucked out and pliant that mister ‘it’s actually more sanitary to kiss’ would let you spit directly into his mouth.

You chuckled at his words, though.

“Okay, well… there’s lube in the drawer instead.” You said, motioning toward your nightstand. “Like I said last time, there’s no such thing as ‘too wet’.”

Spencer nodded eagerly and sat higher up on his knees to reach for the drawer. When he pulled it open, his eyes immediately grew wide at the array of… objects you had in there. Thick, veiny things, some round things he couldn’t even begin to propose the purpose of, something with small dots on it that looked like a cartoon tentacle-?

Knowing that he would become too distracted by these things and want to start asking questions, you reached over and grabbed the bottle of lube and snapped the drawer shut while his mind was still racing.

“Focus, baby.” You told him, putting a hand on his cheek and forcefully prodding his attention back in your direction.

He definitely had a lot of questions about those things. But he would ask you those questions later. (Because he certainly wasn’t going to forget about anything he had just seen.)

You handed the bottle of lube to Spencer. It was almost exactly the same as the one you had given to him and used with the fleshlight, except it was strawberry scented and the liquid was lighted tinted tinted pink as an association with the scent. It was your favorite to use with toys because the scent was absolutely delicious as a perfume in their air (and at this point, it was something you knew that you unconsciously associated with an orgasm).

You were naturally wet. You were throbbing and needy for him. But you knew that it would be nice to be extra slicked up to help him along.

After a moment of struggling (in which you pondered if you should interfere) he popped the cap, and then he looked from the opened bottle of lube to his hands.

“Right, so-” He mumbled quietly.

He poured a dollop on his extended fingertips that easily got carried away and dripped into his lap, and he gasped and began looking around for something to wipe it off his borrowed pants with.

“You can clean it up later, baby.” You told him. “Things are gonna get a little messy right now.”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Right. Yeah-”

Then, he looked back to the bottle in his hand, and before putting it aside, he poured a dribble of the pink liquid (likely more than he had intended) onto the top of your mound, causing you to gasp quietly as the coolness dripped down over your hot, needy pussy.

“Is that good, Mommy?” He asked quietly, moving to put the bottle aside.

“That’s very good, baby.” You encouraged him gently.

“Okay - I - I’m going to - touch you now.” Spencer told you, announcing his movements in an entirely adorable way.

You nodded. “I’m ready for you, sweet boy.”

Spencer put his non-lubed hand gently on your inner thigh, and then angled two of his fingers back toward your clit again. This time when he made contact, he was much gentler, and you let out a sharp breath through your nose, warm tingles spreading through your pelvis at the feeling of him touching your swollen clit with such intention.

With his middle and pointer finger, he began a strange sort of spearing motion, rocking his hand into your pelvis. He touched your clit as though it were a literal button he was trying to push over and over again in order to make you cum. The movement didn’t do much for you - except draw a slight stinging from the area.

“Baby,” You caught his attention, drawing his eyes up from where he was intensely focused, staring hard at the place where he was touching your pussy.

“Spence, it’s - it’s more like this,”

You motioned with two of your fingers in the air, drawing small circles, demonstrating to him what he should be doing.

“Sorry.” He mumbled quietly.

“It’s okay, baby.” You assured him, reaching out and petting a hand through his hair. “It’s okay. You’re learning, right?”

He nodded. “I’m learning. I’m gonna do better.”

“I know you will, baby. You’re Mommy’s good boy.”

This bit of encouragement and praise seemed to fuel him, and he took this new instruction with vigor.

He went back to work using the motion you had just demonstrated and immediately, the difference affected you. His thick, cautious fingertips circling tentatively around your needy clit sent tingles up your spine, causing a warming glow to spread through your body that was slowly, but surely building up your orgasm. The beautiful artificial smell of the lube wafted through the air, and with the sight of Spencer in front of you, his forearm flexing slightly as he worked, it was all too perfect.

You let out a gentle moan, and Spencer smiled.

“That’s good?” He asked, looking from the spot where his fingers worked on your pussy up to your face.

“That’s good, baby.” You told him, the stimulation causing you to become slightly breathless already. “You’re doing so good for me.”

Spencer continued like this, running his other hand along your thigh, clearly feeling needy to touch and enjoy the softness of your skin now that it was freely available under his hands. His touch spread a warmth throughout your body that had you squirming under him, letting out more gentle moans under your breath.

Spencer watched you in awe, so entirely pleased with the results.

“You - you can go a bit faster, baby.” You told him, finding your throat slightly dry as your breathing sped up, more blood pooling in your needy cunt as his touch demanded it. “Speed up your fingers.”

“Yes, Mommy.” He easily obeyed.

Hearing those words in his sweet voice in addition to his touch, his fingers now moving in fast, delicate circles on your throbbing clit - it brought sparks through your body and caused slight tremors through your thighs.

It wasn’t going to be the most earth shattering orgasm you had ever experienced, but it was going to be a good one, mostly because it was Spencer. Because you had him in your bed, calling you Mommy, wearing a pair of your silky pink pajama pants that his hard cock was now leaking a stain into. All while he concentrated on learning how to please you like it was the most important book he had ever read in his life.

“Oh, Spencer!” You called out, arching your hips toward him. “Doing so good for me, baby! So good-”

Spencer stopped his movements suddenly, and your voice caught in your throat as you looked at him with tense confusion knit over your brows.

“What - what about the vaginal stimulation?” He asked. “You said you wanted me to do both, right?”

You couldn’t hold back the breathy chuckle in your throat.

If it had been anybody else, you would have immediately thought that they were edging you intentionally. But no - that wasn’t even a thought in Spencer’s head. He was simply eager to learn more, wanting to do the most to give you the best orgasm possible. He wasn’t content with mediocre. When he learned something, he wanted to be the best at it. And that thought caused any disappointment about your fading orgasm to be replaced by pride - you had somehow captured the best, sweetest boy, and you were going to use that to your full advantage.

“Right, baby.” You said, still catching your breath. You swallowed to gather some spit in your mouth to talk properly before you continued. “Okay, you’re going to continue what you were doing with this hand, but first,” You said this pointedly, motioning to the hand that was unmoving near your clit, not wanting him to continue and impair your ability to properly explain. “You’re going to work your fingers inside me.”

“What if I hurt you?” He asked, clearly timid at the idea that he might hurt you in any way.

“You won’t.” You told him. “You start with one finger, because that’s smaller, so you won’t hurt me. And then once my body has adjusted to that, you can add another. So it won’t hurt.” You assured him.

“So, I just need to use two fingers?” He asked. “Also, how do I know when to put the next finger?”

“You can add three fingers.” You told him. “And I’ll tell you when to add the next one. And you’ll know because you’ll feel the muscles relax around you.”

Spencer nodded.

“So… what’s the best… kind of… movement?” He asked, awkwardly gesturing with his free hand in a way that made you giggle.

He blushed with embarrassment at this, and you rushed to speak in the hopes that he wouldn’t feel awkward.

“You’re going to move your fingers in and out. Like simulating intercourse. The repeated penetration feels good.” You told him. “Be gentle at first, and I’ll tell you if you should go harder or faster.”

Spencer nodded.

He began slow, gentle circles on your clit again, and you let out a small moan at this. And then he moved his other hand down, skimming the fingertip of his pointer finger along your folds until he felt it - that pulsing entrance waiting for him, needy. He thought he imagined it, but it almost felt like your body was trying to suck him in.

“It’s okay, baby.” You told him, your voice gentle and encouraging, slightly hazy with pleasure. “You’re doing so good for Mommy.”

These words caused his cock to throb inside of the borrowed pants, and feeling a pulse of confidence because of it, he pushed the thickness of his finger forward and breached your entrance with his touch for the first time.

It was such a brand new feeling - having your wetness surrounding his digit, feeling your muscles clamping down on him. Feeling how hot your body was, especially compared to the lifeless coolness of a silicone fleshlight. It made him moan louder than the sound you easily trapped in your chest. You found yourself dizzied with a wave of pleasure at seeing his face so fucked out and hearing him moan like that because he was touching you.

“You like it, baby?” You asked breathlessly, angling your hips into his clumsy, unmoving hands.

Clearly he was so pleasure drunk and hazy that he had forgotten that he was supposed to be fingerfucking you. He was simply exploring, enjoying the feeling. You didn’t fault him for it, and you didn’t want to rush him, even with a filthy, needy ache growing deep inside of you.

“You’re so warm.” He replied, his quiet voice edging between awe and another moan of his own.

His eyes flickered between the place where he was touching your pussy and your breasts, heaving slightly with your labored breathing, and your face. Your lips dropped open slightly with pleasure, your eyes becoming glassy. He loved it so much. He loved you. He couldn’t get enough of this.

“Your body is so hot.”

You grinned widely at this.

Maybe a huge part of the endearment came from the fact that you knew he meant temperature, and not the typical slang meaning your appearance. It was something that clearly surprised him, feeling how hot your pussy was while being in direct contact with it.

“Thank you.” You told him. “Can you fuck me now, Doctor Reid?”

“I - Right.”

Spencer resisted the urge to apologize again, knowing you probably wouldn’t like it. And he tried to ignore how much it turned him on to hear you call him ‘Doctor Reid’ in this context. Instead - he set his attention on pleasing you.

He concentrated on picking up a good rhythm - moving his fingers on your clit in circles while he gently drew back the other hand and began moving it slowly in and out, trying to penetrate you in a pleasing way. He instantly became entranced by the natural wetness dripping out of your pussy, covering his finger, his knuckles, spreading to his palm the more he moved his finger. He was fascinated by the way your muscles did seem to give way to him, your body opening up as if you wanted more.

“Add another one, baby.” You moaned quietly. “Another finger.”

So his instincts served him right. At least somewhat. He hoped that he could remember this for next time, and please you better with less of your instructions, working more off of knowledge and instinct like this.

When he drew back his hand to do as you instructed, you added on some further advice.

“It also works better if your palm is facing up.” You told him. “The curve of your fingers is working with my body, not fighting against it.”

Spencer had been prodding into your entrance, poking his finger into you in a more exploratory way - but he definitely understood this.

“Yes, Mommy.” He said.

He flipped his hand so that his palm was facing the ceiling, immediately fascinated by how sticky his wet finger was. Then he gently prodded forward again, his middle finger joining the first. He continued to draw circles on your clit - a rhythm that became clumsy and unfocused at times, because he was easily distracted by the feeling of your tight pussy clamping down on his fingers, trying to figure out how hard he should go.

He was being incredibly tame, almost sloth-like in his movements, clearly afraid to hurt you. And he left you burning up, aching for release. The thickness of his fingers felt so amazing inside of you, better than you could have imagined - but he was so timid, and you hoped that you could draw more out of him.

“Spencer,” You moaned lightly. “Go faster. Come on, be a good boy for Mommy.”

You reached out and got a hand in his hair once again, gently cupping the back of his head and scratching your nails along his scalp.

“Yes,” He hissed out, leaning his head into your touch. “Yes, Mommy. I’ll be a good boy. I’ll be so good for you.”

He kept his eyes locked on you then, and, entirely fueled by the intense feeling pumping through his body, the pure need to serve you - he began pumping his fingers faster. Though it was clumsy at first, after a few moments, both of his hands fell into a natural rhythm with each other. His fingers circling your swollen clit became well timed with the thickness of his fingers pumping in and out of you, and in a few minutes - it became perfect.

You went from letting out a few solitary sounds to every other one of your breaths becoming a moan, your lips perfectly parted, showing him how well he was doing.

When he saw your heated eyes and your lips wrapped around those moans so perfectly, that was when he knew it - that was a face of desire. The one he would spend the rest of his days trying to recreate in you.

“So good, baby.” You moaned out, your words becoming less durable as he stole them away with pleasure. “Go harder.”

“Harder?” He warbled back.

His wrist was beginning to shake, not used to this kind of repeated effort. (Truthfully, he wasn’t used to any more effort than hefting around a thick book for a while.) But he would keep it up for as long as it took to make you cum. He would do it until his arm fell off if he got to see you fall apart beneath him.

“Yes, harder!” You confirmed, giving a firm tug on his hair to encourage him.

Spencer let out a sharp whimper at this, and angled his elbow further between your thighs, trying to put less strain on the muscles of his wrist so he could do as you instructed.

He began rubbing your clit with more urgency, and fucked his fingers into you even harder. He let out a moan as the sound then got to his ears - the wet slapping of his knuckles smacking up against the edges of your cunt, so rough and careless. He really was fucking you, he was taking over your body at your command, his touch was being used for your pleasure, and you were definitely being pleasured by him.

“Spencer!” You howled, a sound that would stick in his mind forevermore.

It was something that caught his entire body on fire in seconds and made his dick ache with red hot pin-pricks. He was surprised that he didn’t cum in his pants from that alone. But he was far too concentrated on keeping up the pace, fascinated by the way your pussy spasmed around his fingers, the way your thighs jolted and shook in a similar fashion that his legs had a few nights ago.

“Oh, Spence! Good boy! Good boy, oh-!”

You let out a sharp gasp and your head tilted back, and you seemed to gulp for air for a few moments while he continued to brutally fuck his fingers into you and rock his fingertips against your clit, angling your hips into the touches as though you were trying to get more from him.

Though it seemed impossible, his knuckles were flooded with an even further wetness. And though he almost couldn’t bear to look away from your face, he did chance a glance down to your beautifully raw, fluttering pussy and saw that there was a distinct puddle of wetness on the sheets below you. You were the most gorgeous fountain he had ever seen.

If he didn’t think it was out of place, he would have leaned down to lick you, curious about what your natural wetness tasted like.

“Oh, Spence!” You squealed, and if he wasn’t mistaken, it almost seemed like you were trying to squirm away from his touch. “Oh - oh, baby! You can s-slow down now! You did - did s-so good!”

Spencer slowed down, as instructed. And then - when he put it together in his mind, he gently eased off touching you entirely, feeling your pussy spasming and throbbing harshly under his touch. It was fascinating really, the way your body responded to him. He badly wanted to explore it more - explore it for hours uninterrupted. But for now, he had a simple question.

“Was that the orgasm?” He wondered aloud.

The unadulterated curiosity bleeding through his voice when he said this had you clenching hard around his unmoving fingers, so entirely turned on by the fact that he was just as awed by you as he was fine art or any thousand page encyclopedia.

You couldn’t hold back the bright, breathless chuckle that escaped your lungs in response.

“Yes, baby, that was the orgasm.” You told him. “What did you think?”

“That was… spectacular.” Spencer told you, sounding almost as breathless himself.

“You can pull your fingers out of me now.” You instructed, feeling slightly sensitive, unconsciously clenching around the digits and accidentally overstimulating your raw pussy in the process.

“Oh. Right.” Spencer mumbled.

He moaned quietly as he did so - loving the purely wet sound it made, like pulling away from a good kiss. He found himself in awe of the string of wetness that followed his fingers from your opening, like a thick string of salvia. He began rubbing his fingers together, studying it with utter fascination as you watched him with that concentrated look on his face again. You wondered how you had stumbled upon such a treasure of a man.

Your eyes fell from his face to the prominent bulge of his cock still pressing into the front of those thin pink pants, the wet spot his precum made now even wider, and you immediately came up with a new idea.

“Why don’t you touch yourself for me, baby?” You posed. “Your hand is already so nice and wet.”

“Oh - I - I - should-?” Spencer stuttered out, looking from his glistening hands to the tent in his borrowed pants, a million thoughts flying through his very vast mind.

“Hey, shh, it’s okay.” You soothed him gently. “Just tell me if that’s something you want. Yes or no.”

“Yes.” He said, a desperate whisper on his lips. “Can - can you untie my pants for me?”

You hummed in agreement and reached over, untying the well secured knot on the pants and then pulling the loose waistband down over his thick, excited cock, letting it spring out to hit his pelvis. He moaned quietly at this.

“Make yourself cum for me, baby.” You encouraged him. “You were so good for me, you made me cum so good. Such a good boy. You deserve this.”

You began running your fingers through his hair again, something he seemed to heavily enjoy. Spencer - now wildly chasing his instincts, working on need alone and trying to push back all those doubts, reached out with those glistening fingers and gently dipped into your pussy again. The contact on your beating folds caused you to gasp, and Spencer shuddered slightly at this, mumbling out at an excuse.

“I wanted-” He muttered quietly. “I just… wanted it to be wetter.”

“Good boy.” You moaned out. You definitely didn’t want to discourage him from doing things like this.

You wanted to mention the fact that there was a bottle of lube sitting less than a foot away. But clearly he had developed a fascination for your wetness, and you didn’t want to stifle that fascination in him or embarrass him.

Spencer then took those slicked up fingers and stroked them across his cock. Just the knowledge that it was your wetness, the essence of your pussy touching his cock - that had dizzying waves fluttering through him that almost had him crumbling to fall on top of you.

It took all of his remaining composure to stay upright. He was so furiously turned on that his cock was leaking precum like a sputtering faucet. He easily took advantage of that, cupping his hand into a well-known grip around his shaft and spreading that natural lubrication down from the sensitive, leaking cockhead to the rest of his dick. This caused his neglected, needy cock to easily light up and unconsciously buck into his own hand.

“‘s too fast,” He whined out.

His face took on a desperate frown as he continued to pump his hand over his cock almost mildly, almost as if he were afraid to go harder.

He looked so beautifully wrecked - with his brows creased downward and his lip caught between his teeth, with that messy hand pumping his own leaking cock.

“Too fast?” You asked, unsure what he meant.

“It’s - it’s not-” He stuttered out, his brain becoming scattered and wordless to describe the feeling rushing through him.

“Hey, shh,” You scratched your nails against his scalp again, grounding him. “Use your words, baby. Come on, be a good boy.”

“Mommy!” He whined, his hips bucking forward desperately into his own hand, wetly smearing precum to the point where it became noisy. Your pussy throbbed at this and you resisted the urge to reach down and touch yourself, not wanting to distract him.

“Baby, come on. Tell Mommy.” You ordered firmly.

He sniffled loudly before he attempted more words.

“Gonna end too fast.” He whined sharply.

He sounded entirely petulant - as though he were truly upset that he was going to cum too soon and the night’s activities would be over. As though the two of you didn’t have plenty more nights to play.

“It’s okay, baby.” You told him, reaching a hand over to thumb across his cheek, wiping away some of the frustrated tears that had escaped. “You did so good for me. You’re so good.”

“I want more.” He whined out, clearly frustrated.

“Mommy will always give you more.” You assured him. “But right now, you’re gonna cum for me.”

He let out a wounded noise, some kind of protest, but his hips jolted as he continued to fuck his own hand. You had him right there.

“Cum for me.” You demanded, your voice dark and demanding.

It was a command he absolutely couldn’t ignore if he tried.

“Mommy! Oh! Oh!”

He let out a sharp cry as he came, and pumped himself through it.

Neither of you had considered where he was going to cum. On his knees in front of you like that, he ended up in the perfect position to spill his load right onto your exposed cunt. Just like the last time you had played, he exploded with a massive power. Though he didn’t seem to have any care for where he was angling his cock or what he was cumming on, simply continuing to chant ‘oh, oh, oh’ under his breath with his eyes beautifully screwed shut and his mouth wide open, delicately pumping his hand on his cock to ride his orgasm all the way through.

Thick, white waves of his cum landed on your pussy - startlingly warm, almost blazen hot compared to the cool air of the room. Something that easily made you moan, especially when paired with the beautiful sight of his orgasmic face in front of you and the way he so carelessly fucked himself, clearly only wanting to achieve his own pleasure and not caring if it was a good show or not - which was what made him so damn beautiful.

When Spencer had milked himself dry, his cock starting to go soft in his own hand and the pleasant tingles becoming more like harsh pin-pricks of overstimulation, he put a hand on the wideness of your thigh for support, his muscles shaking. And then he finally opened his eyes.

He felt even dizzier when he saw the sight before him - your gorgeously lingerie clad body and naked pussy now covered in the thick white of his spend. A small voice in the back of his head wondered if you could get pregnant from this, and another told him that - yes, it would be good if you did. You would look so good pregnant with his child. A child the two of you made together would be smart, beautiful, charismatic, brilliant and perfect in every aspect.

He hadn’t even fully acknowledged that he was in love with you yet, but that was the moment he knew for certain that he wanted you to be the mother of his children. There was no other woman in the world who would be comparable to you - no other woman as perfect for the task.

(He didn’t know that you were on oral birth control, so it didn’t matter if he had cum inside you - you weren’t going to get pregnant. Not without intending to.)

“Oh, did I-?” He motioned toward the mess, seeming worried.

Before he could apologize for it, you reached your fingers down and began lightly padding through it, and Spencer let out a wrecked moan at the sight.

“You did such a good job, baby.” You told him, still entirely certain.

Before he could comprehend it, you brought a finger up to your mouth - one covered in the combined essence of yourself and Spencer, and curled your tongue around it, moaning at the taste. Spencer could do nothing more than make unintelligible noises, and you giggled as you released the finger.

“Good boy.”

Spencer was dizzy and hazy from all the pleasure, and there was only one thing on his mind.

“Can I have a hug now?” He asked, his voice still sweet and soft.

“Yes, baby. Come here.” You spread your arms wide and Spencer practically launched himself at you.

He laid completely on top of you, and you wrapped your arms around him, stroking up and down his back lazily as you enjoyed the peaceful calm of his breathing.

After only a few moments, you felt him start to fall asleep like that. His muscles turned to jelly, and his breathing came out in long, soft puffs. He looked so adorable nuzzled into your breasts that you didn’t want to wake him up, even if the drying mess between your thighs was becoming uncomfortable, and you knew that he definitely wouldn’t want to sleep in it for too long.

You continued petting your fingers through his hair gently. You would wake him up in a little while and get cleaned up, you assured yourself.

You definitely weren’t falling for him, feeling things that extended far outside of sexual attraction.

Nope. Definitely not.

...

Note: This is a Capsule Series, so each fic can be read as an individual oneshot. There is no overarching story, and no specific ending.

I am not currently working on a continuation of this, and I don't know when I will be. If you enjoyed this and you want to see more from me, I highly encourage you to check out the rest of the works on my Criminal Minds Masterlist.

#sundrop writes #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds fic

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unseededtoast · 8 months

Text

I Stayed There | Spencer Reid x F! Reader

Summary: After an eye-opening case, Spencer realizes that his job puts you in too much danger. Loving you too much to put you in harm's way, he does the only thing he can think of that would ensure your safety. Years pass by slowly, and neither you nor Spencer are able to move on. Inspired by "Right Where You Left Me" by Taylor Swift.

Part Two: Take My Hand

Cross posted on Wattpad and AO3 and here is my masterlist!

WC:6.8k

Warnings: Angst. So much angst, and pining, and emotional turmoil. Perpetual heartbreak

a/n: So I finally managed to write about Spencer and it not be inspired by a Hozier song, and yes it's a little shorter than my norm but I think it works well. Anyways, this is the first oneshot I've written that has actually made me cry. And once again thank you for reading, you all deserve the world

"Spencer please, don't leave. Please." Your voice sounds foreign in your own ears, and he rests his hands on the handle, looking back to you one last time, an unrecognizable look on his face.

"I'm sorry." Is all he says before leaving for the last time.

You're left on your knees in the middle of the apartment, feet bleeding from the broken glass you stepped over, and heart shattering into a million irreparable pieces.

You anxiously look to the clock every two minutes, leg bouncing up and down as you anticipate your boyfriend, Spencer, walking back into your shared apartment after his assignment. He had texted you earlier in the day to let you know he would be home tonight, and so you took it upon yourself to deep clean the apartment and prepare his favorite meal. Spencer is always mentally and physically exhausted when he returns from a case, and so you want to make him as comfortable as you possibly can. He deserves it and it's the least you can do.

After five extremely long minutes, you hear the door open and stand from the couch with a smile on your face. Spencer looks less happy to be here, and your heart plummets; it must have been one hell of a case. Changing your approach, you calm your nerves and approach him, taking his coat and hanging it on the rack beside the door without a word. He drops his bag down beside the door and turns to you, engulfing you in a warm, tight hug.

"I missed you." You speak into his chest, feeling his lips press a kiss to the crown of your head.

"I missed you more." He says, and you hear the exhaustion and tension in his voice. You pull away from the hug and kiss his cheek, letting your thumb caress his cheekbone.

"I've got dinner ready for you, go get something comfortable on, baby." You rub his back and he nods, walking off to your room. In the meantime, you turn off the overhead light and opt for soft lighting tonight, turning on the tableside lamps and lighting his favorite scented candle on the coffee table. You make sure his dinner is warm, and pour him a glass of wine, so it's one less thing he has to think about tonight.

Moments later, he returns from the room, hair a little disheveled and eyes tired. Without a word, you pull out the seat for him, and he thanks you. You go to pour your own glass of wine and join him at the table, content with just being in his presence for the night. If he needs silence, that's exactly what you'll give him. His job is entirely stressful, and you don't want to add to that stress by asking a million different questions.

He eats dinner quietly, and you think he's almost avoiding your eye. But surely that's not the case, he's probably just tired. And when he's done you clear his plate for him and ask if he wants another glass, instead of looking at you, he just stares down at the tablecloth and shakes his head. Your heart sinks, but you remind yourself that you don't know what he just experienced on the job and deserves some grace.

By the time you two are ready for bed, you blow out the candle and turn off the lights, eager to be held by Spencer tonight after not having him home all week. You quietly enter the room, careful not to disturb his peace and get in next to him. You turn to face him, expecting to see his beautiful gem-colored eyes, but instead are met with the back of his head. Once again, your heart aches, thinking he had to have had one of the worst cases. In an attempt to comfort him, you reach an arm over him and hold him close. You can always be held another night, but tonight he needs this more than you.

While he doesn't wish you a goodnight, or give you a kiss, or even look at you, you drift off to sleep, just happy to have him back even if it's just for a few days.

-----

The next morning, you wake to find Spencer is already gone from the bed. Where he should be is an empty, cold space. You listen for him, but hear nothing, which is odd. Worried about him, you get up and rub your eyes before leaving bed to see where he is. As you go to walk out of the room, you notice that there are two packed bags by the bedroom door that most definitely were not there last night. Usually you two spend some time together in bed, catching up and kissing on each other. Something in the pit of your stomach tells you something is off, but you do your best to ignore it.

You walk out of the bedroom and see Spencer sitting alone at the dining table. He's already dressed for the day. Maybe he got put on another case already? Your mind fights to rationalize what's going on. Spencer looks up when he hears you walking towards him, and you see him swallow before looking back to the table. You feel nauseous, but take a seat next to him, mirroring your positions last night.

You reach out for his hands that are interlaced atop the table, but he pulls his hands away before you can make contact.

"What's going on honey?" Your voice shows your nerves plainly, and you're convinced he can hear your heart thumping out of your chest. He takes a breath and stands from the table. You follow suit and try to busy your mind with something, so you pick up the empty wine glasses to take to the sink, but his voice interrupts you.

"I don't want to be with you anymore." His words hang heavy in the air, and you can't believe what you heard. Surely, you had heard wrong, right?

"What?" You ask, palms getting clammy and eyes growing wide, searching his face for any indication that this is just some weird, twisted joke.

"I don't want to be with you anymore." He repeats, your mouth falls slack.

"I don't-what? Why?" Your mind is working overtime to make sense of all this, and you feel your eyes involuntarily water.

"I-I met someone else." He says and the glasses fall from your shaking hands, shattering all over the white tablecloth, remnants of wine staining the cloth. Your ears are ringing, throat constricting with emotion, chest burning as you start hyperventilating.

"Spencer what? I don't understand." Tears flow down your face and you ignore the glass, stepping towards him, but he backs away. You swear you see tears in his eyes but you can't be for sure, as tears blur your own vision. A pain on the bottom of your foot sends shivers up your spine but you can't be bothered to look at what happened.

"I met someone else, and I don't want to be with you anymore." He says again, hammering the sentiment into your brain. Spencer turns from you and goes to your bedroom, picking up the suitcases you saw.

You practically choke on your sobs, unable to grasp that this is reality. Never in a hundred years would you have imagined your Spencer would find someone else. There had been no signs, nothing even slightly out of the ordinary. How could this have happened? How could it have happened and you noticed nothing?

With red eyes and a steady stream of tears running down your face, you try one last time.

"Spencer please, don't leave. Please." Your voice sounds foreign in your own ears, and he rests his hand on the handle, looking back to you one last time, an unrecognizable look on his face.

"I'm sorry." Is all he says before leaving for the last time.

You're left on your knees in the middle of the apartment, feet bleeding from the broken glass you stepped over, and heart shattering into a million irreparable pieces.

-----

Two weeks later you find yourself sitting alone at a dimly lit table. Today would have been your third anniversary with Spencer, and you had made these reservations months in advance. But instead of the two of you sharing a romantic evening full of love, you sit alone.

You're thankful for the low lighting in the restaurant, so that people aren't openly able to see the rogue tears that fall down your face in uneven intervals; emotions come and go like tidal waves. The waitress comes and refills your glass, giving you a sympathetic smile as she leaves.

She probably thinks you're pathetic for sitting here alone, spending hours in this one spot. The same spot where you and Spencer had come together in the first place. Your first date had been here and the two of you had been seated at this very table. The memory is still vivid in your mind, you can see the light reflecting in Spencer's eyes as he reached for your hand across the table, can still remember the cologne he wore. In fact, you're convinced that if you close your eyes you'd be able to reach out and feel him.

Throughout the evening all you can do is sip your wine and stare at the empty seat across from you, oblivious to the world around you. All you can think about is how tonight should be. Spencer should be here with you, sharing an appetizer and picking something from the menu you both like, so that you can share. You should be confessing your undying love to him, thanking him for another amazing year together and reminiscing on how far you two have come.

But instead your mascara is smudged and you're on your fourth glass of wine, alone, in the middle of a busy restaurant that's teeming with life.

You see a couple walk into the restaurant and your throat constructs with emotion. The smiles on their faces makes your heart drop, and you can't help but feel sorrow and jealously in some intricate tangle together. The woman laughs, her eyes crinkling in the corners.

Unable to handle the sight, you down the rest of your wine and leave a sizable amount of cash on the table before leaving, running a finger below your eyes so people can't see your tears. You don't want their sympathy, don't want to hear how they take pity on you.

Your feet carry you through the streets, taking the familiar path to the local park where you sit on a wooden bench. The crisp breeze sends chills up your spine, but you wrap your hands close to your body and stare at the leaves in various stages of color change.

To your right is an empty field, and it's where you and Spencer used to come for spring and summertime picnics. Usually on a weekend after he had a case, the two of you would pack up some snacks and lounge at the park for the afternoon, enjoying the beautiful weather and soaking in the comforts of each other. You never realized just how much those moments meant until they ceased altogether.

Eventually, you make your way back to the apartment. It hasn't changed a bit in two weeks, you've left everything as it was. Spencer's books are still adorning the shelves, his products still lay on the bathroom counter, and his coat still hangs from the rack beside the door. You suspect they'll be gone one day, you know him well enough to understand how he values his books. And when that day comes, you know you'll leave the apartment and give him ample time to pack up, leaving you with a nearly empty apartment. Truthfully, you never want that day to come but you know it's looming over you like an angry storm cloud.

You strip from the dress you had forced yourself to wear to the restaurant and slip one of Spencer's shirts over your head, taking in the scent and committing it to memory, as if you could ever forget it. The dark bedroom invites you to bed and you crawl in, hand lingering on the spot where Spencer should be, kissing you goodnight. But instead, you lay there alone, just like every night since he left and like every night that's to come.

-----

"What's up with you kid?" Derek asks Spencer, who's been staring out of the jet's window, uncharacteristically quiet. Spencer sighs and looks at Derek, who has a quizzical look on his face.

"I'm fine, just thinking about the unsub." Spencer lies right through his teeth, but Derek isn't buying it. Spencer's actions for the past two weeks has been peculiar, and everyone has noticed but nobody's asked. Until now.

"Now don't give me that. I know something is wrong." Derek's voice is quiet, as to not put Spencer on the spot in front of the whole team. A silence passes between them before Spencer leans forward in his seat. His eyes are tired, dark circles adorn his under eyes.

"We broke up." Is all Spencer says. Truthfully, he'd rather not get into everything, the wound is still fresh and Spencer's still trying to come to terms with the decision he made.

"What do you mean you broke up?" Derek is surprised, his voice raising ever so slightly. Spencer rubs his hands together.

"After the last case I realized that my job puts her in more danger than I thought. When the unsub had pictures of her hanging in his room alongside us, I couldn't let her be a target anymore." Spencer's voice breaks and a tear runs down his cheek. This is the first time he's admitted to someone what had happened, and it brings all of the emotions to the forefront of his mind again. Derek rests a hand on Spencer's knee and gives him a heartfelt look, eyes soft and full of understanding.

"And when I left I had told her I met someone else. I knew if I told her the truth that she'd be able to talk me out of leaving. But if she thought I had found someone else I knew she'd be too kind and wouldn't interfere. She loves me so much that she would sacrifice her own happiness for mine. And the worst part is that she bought it all so easily, she really thinks I could ever replace her." Tears fall down Spencer's face and he chokes on his own breath as he spills it all to Derek, whose own heart breaks at the confession.

Without another word, Derek brings Spencer in for a hug, and for once Spencer doesn't mind the contact. In fact, he's grateful for it.

-----

The ground is now covered in a thick blanket of snow. Frost decorates the corners of the windows, and the apartment that should be full of comforting warmth is only full of coldness and despair.

Christmas is two days away and you hadn't even bothered to put up the tree this year. There's no reason to celebrate or get excited. Everything you had loved and cherished about the season is gone, vanished into thin air. The past two years you and Spencer had hosted a dinner party for all of your friends. It was always a good time, a time where everyone came together with hearts full of love and generous spirits.

But this year you're sat at the dining room table, staring at a limited edition copy of The Hobbit you had found from an antiques dealer six months ago. It's one of the early prints and is in great condition for its age. You knew Spencer would love it and so you bought it without regard of the price. Seeing the happiness on his face would've been worth every penny and more.

After staring at it for hours, you grab the fragile book and slide it in one of the bookshelves. Your heart constricts but you're unable to produce tears anymore. It's like your insides have frozen over, and while you still feel, you never react to it anymore. The dull ache in your chest is a permanent fixture in your life now. One day you woke up and couldn't even cry anymore. It's like you've become a shell of your former self, a statue sentenced to life.

The lights are off in the apartment, the overcast light seeping in through the curtains, giving you all the light you need. You end up on the couch, curling up in Spencer's favorite blanket and stare outside at the people passing by. They're all holding gifts and dishes of food with smiles on their faces, likely heading to visit family.

Your phone rings in the bedroom, but you can't be bothered to go get it. There's nobody you're in a particular mood to talk to anyways, except for one man, but you know he'll never call you again. After a few minutes, the ringing ceases, but begins again only seconds after it stops. Like last time, you let it continue ringing. You've no family left, and the friends you do have all gradually began distancing themselves after Spencer left. They told you that they were there to support you, but eventually they were unable to handle your solemn mood and just quit trying.

As the limited sunlight begins disappearing for the night, you drag yourself off the couch and begin getting ready for bed. You brush your teeth and stare at your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes are dull and sunken, dark circles painting your undereyes. Your cheekbones have become more pronounced, your overall expression sullen. At this point you can't even recognize yourself.

Before you can pull the covers over top of you, there's a knock at the door. Your heart hammers in your chest and you begin running through every possible scenario, a mix of emotions flurrying through your system. Curious, you get out of bed and answer the front door, seeing Derek Morgan on the other side with a box in his hands. His signature smile is on his face, and you lean against the doorframe, confused about why he's here. You haven't talked to Derek since before Spencer left, and surely Spencer made it known that he's with someone else now.

"Derek?" You ask, studying his appearance. Nothing about him has changed, really.

"Can I come in?" He asks, and you glance over your shoulder, suddenly self conscious about the state of the apartment. It's not that it's unclean, it's just that Spencer's things are still everywhere. But maybe that's why he's here, maybe Spencer wants his things back and Derek is just here to tell you.

"Of course." Your voice is quiet and you open the door for him to step through. He looks around, and you move to turn on a lamp so he can see without tripping over a rug. Derek places the box on the counter and turns to face you.

"No Christmas tree?" He asks. You should've expected nothing less from a profiler. Cracking the faintest of smiles, you shake your head.

"Not this year. And um, not sure if you heard but there's no party this year." You hate how defeated you sound, but it's a true reflection of your physical and mental state. Just dejected and numb. Nervously, you start playing with the skin around your fingers.

"I know. I just wanted to come by and see you." Derek says, nothing but kindness in his eyes. Your heart swells at the sentiment. Derek and you had always gotten along together quite well, and you considered him the BAU member, besides Spencer, that you connected with the best.

"That's very kind of you Derek." Your voice cracks from emotion, but you try to play it off as you clearing your throat. "Can I get you some water?" You follow up, feeling rude for not having offered him anything.

"Water would be great, thank you." He takes you up on your offer and moves to sit at the kitchen island. You set the glass in front of him and lean on the other side of the island, waiting for him to tell you that Spencer wants his belongings back. You knew this day would come, but you never wanted it to.

"Why did you really come here?" You find the nerve to just ask him, growing tired of beating around the bush. Derek takes a sip of water before sighing,

"I hadn't heard from you in a long time, and it's Christmas. I missed you. Oh, and I got you this." He says and slides the small box across the counter to you. Feeling blood rush to your face, you fiddle with the ribbon on top.

"I'm sorry I didn't get you anything, I really wasn't expecting anyone." You're embarrassed that you have nothing to give back, but he shakes his head, dismissing your sentiment and urging you to open the box.

Untying the ribbon and lifting the top of the box, you see a beautifully crafted bookmark inside. It's a clear bookmark with colorful pressed flowers preserved within the thin layers of resin. You turn the bookmark around in your fingers and smile up at Derek.

"Thank you, this is beautiful." You place the bookmark back in the box and walk around the island to give Derek a hug. The words on the tip of his tongue die; there's no good reason to tell you that the gift was from Spencer, and that he asked Derek to give it to you as if it were from him.

His arms wrap around you, and it's the first physical contact you've felt since Spencer. While it's just a friendly gesture, it evokes something within you, and you can't help but start crying in Derek's arms.

"Hey hey hey, what's going on?" Derek holds you at arms length and looks worriedly at you. You feel pathetic to have to admit to him what's going on, but you trust Derek enough to know that he won't patronize you for this.

"I miss him so much. He should be here with me." Is all you can say before sobs wrack your body once more. It seems you can still cry after all.

Derek is patient with you, and he stays for hours, giving you some much needed company. You tell him about the day Spencer left through broken cries, and you tell him that you're not able to move out of this apartment; this is the only thing you have left to hold onto. If you lose this apartment, and everything in it, you fear that eventually the memories of Spencer will fade from your mind, and the thought of that is enough to send you spiraling. You don't want to forget Spencer. No matter how badly he hurt you, he's the one true love of your life. And you're not interested in finding someone else or moving on, because you know you could never love that deeply again.

-----

"You coming with us?" Emily asks Spencer, packing up her belongings for the end of the day. The rest of the team is going out for celebratory drinks, but Spencer doesn't want to join, knowing he will likely bring down the mood. And besides, he would rather get back to his place and read a book or something to distract himself from reality.

"No thanks, I'll uh, I'll come next time." He declines, grabbing his jacket off the back of his chair.

"Oh no you don't, you said that last time." Penelope says, coming out from her office to join in on the Friday night activities. The air is still cold outside, but the snow is basically gone for the season, or so everyone hopes.

Knowing he's already lost this argument, Spencer gives in and joins the group at the bar for drinks to celebrate another case closed. He sits at the end of the table, swirling his straw around in the glass, watching as the ice cubes slowly melt away. The rest of the team goes on and on about their weekend plans, but he tunes them all out.

"Hey you with us?" Someone waves a hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his trance. Spencer blinks a few times before giving JJ an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, just kinda lost in my own head." He says and she claps a hand on his shoulder and forces Spencer to look at the bar.

"See those girls over there? Pick one and go talk to them. It'll be good for you." She says, and while Spencer knows she's only trying to help, the thought of talking to any woman in a remotely romantic sense makes him feel nauseous. Spencer shakes his head,

"I'm good." He says, but JJ won't give it up. Derek tries to tell her to knock it off, but she's determined for some reason to get Spencer back out into the dating scene. After a few more attempts from JJ, Spencer finally stands from his chair.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this. I don't want any of them. I'll see you all on Monday." His words are rushed and he's already moving towards the door before anyone can stop him. The fresh air on his face is refreshing, and he starts walking aimlessly, trying to distract himself from anything but thoughts of you.

Since he had left you, Spencer had rented out a small apartment, only a few streets away. He was unable to move any farther than that, still feeling the need to keep some sort of tabs on you, just to be sure that you're safe. Sometimes he'd purposely walk past and try to see up into the window, hoping to get just a glimpse of you, but you always had the curtains closed. And he had been vigilant in making sure you hadn't moved out. He asked Penelope to monitor the rental status. While he misses his belongings, he knows that everything is well taken care of with you, and if you ever decided to sell or get rid of his things, he's already made arrangements to anonymously get them.

Spencer glances down at his watch as he walks in the brisk early spring air and decides to take a detour before returning to his new apartment. He finds himself at the park where he remembers the shared picnics, simpler and happier times. He makes his way to the bench the two of you always sat at, and he feels like the air has been kicked out of his lungs. There on the bench, you sit, oblivious to his presence behind you.

He should've known that you might be here. After all, it is your birthday, and the two of you always came here on your birthday. You always insisted that you make the first trip of the year to the park on your birthday. He watches as your hair blows in the breeze and he wants nothing more than to go to you, to feel your soft hair in his hands once again, to have your arms embrace him, to have your sweet kisses lingering on his lips.

But he knows that things are better this way, with him out of your life. You're safer this way, he reminds himself. If you're alive and safe, that is good enough for him. He figures that eventually you'll find someone else and live a happy and fulfilling life with them, and he wants that for you. While he wishes he could share that life with you, he understands that his lifestyle is not conducive with that happening.

Spencer turns and walks away, leaving you at the bench by yourself.

-----

Another year has passed, and you find yourself in a familiar seat, drinking a familiar wine, wearing a familiar dress. Today would have been your fourth anniversary with Spencer. You had made the reservation, needing to cling to something. You understand that this is pathetic and sad, but you can't help it.

Just like last year, you can remember Spencer's hand reaching for yours, but this time you have a hard time remembering how soft his hand was in yours. You can't quite recall the multitude of colors in his eyes. The realization that you own memory is betraying you sends chills throughout your body. First it was his scent fading from the bedsheets, then it was not being able to recall how raspy his voice sounded in the mornings, and now you can barely remember the feel of him.

You feel hollow inside with the new development, and down the rest of the wine in your glass. The seat across from you is empty, but you force your mind to remember what he was wearing the first time you two had a date here. His shirt was white and he was wearing a purple tie, the sleeves were pushed to his elbows and his hair was just every so slightly messy, but in an endearing way.

Content with the memory, you drink one more glass of wine before leaving a generous amount of cash on the table and going back to the apartment. When you step outside, the rain is coming down at a steady pace, but you can't seem to care that you'll be soaking wet by the time you get back to the apartment. In fact, the cold water droplets remind you that you can still feel something. For so long you've forgotten what it feels like to have emotion other than numbness.

When you get back to the apartment, you lock the door behind you and go through the motions. The wet dress takes residence on the bathroom floor and you figure you'll get around to picking it up later. Your mind is occupied on recalling as much as you can, the realization that things are fading sends you into a mild panic.

You move from room to room, making yourself remember at least one thing about each room. In the bathroom you remember watching Spencer get ready for work in the mornings through sleepy eyes and admiring how handsome he looked in his work attire. You always told him that he was the most beautiful man on Earth, and he was quick to tell you that you were the most gorgeous woman on Earth, kissing the tip of your nose before he left for the day.

The bedroom reminds you of the times Spencer's hands caressed every curve of your body. How he would kiss every square inch of you, how it felt like you two were made for each other. His fingers would always entwine themselves with yours as he kissed on your neck, the two of you moving your bodies in heated tandem.

In the living room you remember curling up together, cuddling underneath the blankets in the soft light, each reading and quietly enjoying the presence of the other. Of course, Spencer would always finish his book before you got to chapter three of yours, but once he was done, he would always lay his head in your lap and you would play with his curls as you took your time. His eyes would always flutter shut and eventually he'd fall asleep. You never had the heart to wake him up, so you would end up spending an uncomfortable night on the couch, but beyond happy to be tangled up with him.

The kitchen reminds you of the time he accidentally burnt toast. You were never quite sure how he managed to do it, but you thought it was sweet he was trying to make you breakfast in bed for Valentine's Day. Spencer had planned an elaborate day full of romance and he was determined to let you be taken care of for once. He had given you a full body massage, created a bouquet of your favorite flowers, and taken you to your favorite ice cream shop.

The front entryway of the apartment reminds you of all the mornings you saw Spencer off to work, fixing his perpetually crooked ties before giving him a kiss on the cheek and telling him to save the day. His face would always blush when you kissed him goodbye, and he would always tell you that he'd be back soon and not to miss him too much.

When the memories fade, you find yourself standing alone in the middle of the apartment, just like it's been for over a year now. Your eyes are trained on the dining room table, specifically at the pink stain that soaked into the white cloth, reminding you when time stopped.

You wonder about the other woman he found, if they're happy, if he's happy. You wonder what she's like, how she's similar and different from you. You hope she's making him the happiest man alive, it's what he deserves. You know he's taking the best care of her, giving her his undivided attention and sweet gestures. Does she know his favorite dessert? His favorite sock combination? You wonder if she's found the sensitive spot on his neck, just below his ear.

-----

Spencer sits at his desk, staring at the incident report that lays in front of him. Usually he would have this complete in less than twenty minutes, but this particular report is causing him some issues. It was no secret to anyone on the team that this case had struck a nerve with Spencer, it was obvious from his treatment of the unsub and in the way he tirelessly worked this case.

Sure, since the break up Spencer had thrown himself into his work, but not like this. Hotch, Morgan, and Emily all noticed a spark of light come back into his eye, like he had real purpose again. He was always attentive to each case, but this one hit particularly close to home. The victims looked eerily similar to you. In a way, Spencer felt like he was protecting you from the unsub.

Breaking him out of his thoughts, Morgan sits on the edge of his desk and closes the file so Spencer has no choice but to give him undivided attention. Derek had been keeping in contact with you all this time, unbeknownst to Spencer, and he knows just how much each of you are suffering without each other. At first he had hope that they would both take their time to mourn and then move on, but neither of you have.

"I met this girl the other day, she invited me on a double date with her friend. The only catch is that I have to bring a friend as well. What do you say?" Derek proposes, hoping that by some miracle, Spencer will agree. If you and Spencer aren't going to reconcile, then he's going to take matters into his own hands and help each of you move on with life. Spencer shakes his head.

"I'm good, thank you though." Derek bites the inside of his cheek, feeling frustration bubble within him. If only he could open Spencer's eyes to see the situation the way he does.

"Come on man, it's been almost two years now and you haven't even looked at someone with even a tiny bit of interest." Derek recalls that this conversation with you went the same way. You had shot him down immediately, pulling out every possible excuse as to why you couldn't go with him.

"I'm just not interested, sorry." Spencer says, trying to open the file once again, but Derek stops him from doing so.

"I'm saying this as your friend. You either need to move on or go get her back. If you don't you're going to be stuck like this forever." Spencer's eyebrows furrow and his jaw sets tensely, his eyes move slowly to meet Derek's.

"She can never be replaced. And like I've told you before, she's safer without me in the picture." Spencer feels his throat tighten as he imagines what it would be like to have you back in his arms. Derek shakes his head, and tries to keep his cool.

"And who's to say she's not suffering just as bad as you are?" With that, Derek gets off of Spencer's desk and leaves him alone with his thoughts.

Spencer always thought that you would eventually move on. In fact, he assumed that you had because it's been close to a year since Penelope or Morgan brought you up. He had taken their silence as an indicator that you've been doing better. Spencer knows you're still in the apartment, he knows Penelope would've told him that much.

The thought of you sharing intimate moments with another man in the same apartment the two of you shared makes Spencer sick to his stomach. Imagining another man's hands on your body, his lips on yours, your love showering him, makes Spencer's heart contort in pain. But Derek's words contradict everything Spencer had assumed. Is it true, could you possibly be living in as much pain as he is?

After work, Spencer takes the long way back to his apartment, detouring to go past your apartment. He stands where he can see the window, and this time you have the curtains pulled open to let in some natural light. He stands there for hours, hoping to see you walk past. And eventually, his patience pays off. As the sun begins to set he sees you walk to the window to close the curtains.

Spencer can see even from this distance that you're not yourself. Your hair looks like it's gone without its usual care, your clothes look like they've been picked out with no care. And you always took pride in your appearance, you always wanted to look good and you loved expressing yourself through fashion.

You close the curtains without spotting him across the street, and his heart sinks when he can no longer see you. That tiny glimpse was enough to show him that Derek wasn't lying. There isn't anyone new in your life, if there were, he would be able to tell from the way you carried yourself.

Emotions wage a battle inside of Spencer, feeling confliction he hasn't felt since the day he left you. On one hand, he misses you dearly. In fact, there's nothing more he wants from life than to be able to feel your touch one more time. But on the other hand, he remembers the twisted unsub that had targeted you alongside the rest of the team. And he knows that it's possible for something like that to happen again.

Spencer reminds himself that he would never be able to live if something had happened to you. That if some sick individual targeted you again, and was successful in carrying out their plan, that he would not be able to go on. He knows that if he stays out of your life, then you have the best odds of living a happy life. He knows that his job put a strain on you, though you would hide it well. He knows you missed him terribly, worried about him constantly; and you endured all of it because you loved him more than anything. And he loves you too much to make you continue that lifestyle.

He convinces himself that one day you will move on and that you will be happy. With one last fleeting look towards the window, he turns and goes back to his apartment, where he's sure he will dream of nothing but memories of you.

-----

Your eyes are glued to the television in front of you, not believing what you're seeing. A press conference is being replayed on the news about some case the FBI is working. They're calling out to the public for any helpful information. And you feel bad for the victim, but you can't focus as you stare at a familiar face to the side.

Spencer stands straight, face serious as the blonde on the screen goes over important facts. You notice he's grown his hair out, that he's filled out a little more, but his tie is still crooked. Your teeth bite the skin of your lip to keep it from trembling. This is the first you've seen him since he left four years ago.

You know it's pathetic, that you've devolved into something you don't recognize, but you don't seem to care. After the night Spencer left, your life had lost its light and you never were able to find a reason to try moving on. Derek tried to help in the beginning, but after a while he stopped trying; he still comes around every once in a while to keep you company but you see the pity in his eyes.

Your fingertips graze the screen, as if you'd be able to feel Spencer through the television. His eyes flicker towards the camera as your fingers ghost over his face and it's enough to send a tear down your cheek. The television switches to another story and you get yourself off the couch and you pour yourself a healthy glass of wine.

Sitting at the dining room table, your mind replays that fateful morning again and again. After all this time you still hold nothing but absolute love for him and you wish that any day he would knock on the door.

But until that day comes, if it ever does, you'll stay here, right where it all happened, right where he left you.

Part Two: Take My Hand

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid angst #derek morgan #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #dr spencer reid #taylor swift #taylor swift inspired #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds fandom #Spotify #heavy angst

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miracleonice87 · 10 months

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the camp letter

a/n: the requested note (which turned into more of a letter — I’m a writer, what did you expect?) written by Mrs. Kelce, from “new heights, new news, new baby.” enjoy!

___

“NHL tournament kicks off in my room in ten, big fella!” Isiah Pacheco called through the door after a few raps of his knuckle.

Travis smiled to himself, pushing his now-empty unpacked duffle into the dorm closet and clucking his tongue.

“You know I ain’t missin’ that, son!” Travis assured. “Be right there.”

As Isiah’s footsteps retreated down the hall, Travis grabbed the last piece of luggage on his bed, his toiletry kit, and walked it into the bathroom to hang up. Upon opening the flap, a piece of white notebook paper fell to the counter, folded so only the top of the page was visible.

Open when you get to camp! it read in your unmistakable penmanship. With an enamored grin, Travis quickly lifted and unfolded the page.

87,

the salutation read.

At that simple greeting, his throat tightened with emotion.

Oh boy… he was in for it.

He wandered to take a seat on the bed as he continued.

With another Super Bowl celebration summer coming to a close, another season is now on the horizon and it just might be the most special one yet.

I remember the first time you invited me to Chiefs camp when we had just started dating, watching all your teammates’ kids run to them after practice, watching them chase after footballs, watching their dads throw them up in the air and tote them around so proudly, and I remember thinking, “I hope that’s gonna be Travis someday with our own kids.” Sure, that happened just a little sooner than we planned, but with each day that passes, I only grow more excited to share this with you, and to make those football-centric memories with our little one, and hopefully more little ones to come.

I can’t wait to hold our baby in the stands and explain to them what you do for a living, Trav. I can’t wait to see how excited they get waiting for you on the sideline for a pregame kiss, then watching you ball out. I can’t wait to watch them meet you in the tunnel or the suite after a game, win or lose, and love on you like I do. I can’t wait to see them run around Arrowhead with Sterling and Bronze, and, as much as possible, take them to games with Wy, Ell, and Benny, watching them spend time together and clap for their daddies.

When I close my eyes, I can so vividly see another Super Bowl win, finding you in the midst of another red and gold confetti snowglobe, but this time, with our kid in my arms. I can envision you on the podium with Coach Reid and Patrick, a Lombardi in one arm and a baby in the other. And as much as I already miss you, despite you still being just a couple of rooms away as I write this, we both know that camp is the first step toward making that happen.

We are so lucky to get to do this at all, Trav, but I feel impossibly lucky to get to do this with you. Thank you for being the man that you are – I can’t tell you how much I admire your drive, your passion, your work ethic. You are the best teammate, captain, leader, friend, husband, brother, son, and daddy-to-be that I’ve ever known, and I know you’ll instill your best qualities in our little one.

I love you so fucking bad, Travis Michael. Have fun, be safe… go be great. See you soon.

Silent tears were dripping down Travis’s cheeks and nose as he finished the letter, a fond smile permanent on his lips. God, he was the lucky one, to get to be able to play this silly game he loved so much with your full support backing him. And the thought of you and your baby cheering him on, together, in just a few more months… man, that made him actually giddy, despite the tears he was still trying to get under control.

A moment later, the only person who would ever push open the door to his room unannounced did just that — his quarterback and best friend entered with a casual “you comin’ to play Chel, you hockey freak?” before his eyes actually landed on Travis. Patrick was fearful for just a moment, seeing his friend so emotional, then the tight end met his gaze and held up the piece of notebook paper covered in your neat writing.

Travis cleared his throat and announced, “Letter from home. Got me.”

Patrick smiled, taking a few steps toward him to squeeze his shoulder.

“I gotchu,” he said understandingly. “All good, though?”

Travis nodded emphatically, beaming even as he wiped his watery eyes with the flesh of his thumb.

“So good,” he assured the fellow dad.

Patrick nodded, too, and pawed Travis’s arm affectionately.

“Glad to hear it. Take all the time you need, man,” he directed. “I’ll go take the first round with the hooligans.”

Travis giggled and reached to dap up Patrick, the quarterback giving him a warm hug.

“Thanks, brother,” he said softly.

As Patrick left the room, Travis gave the letter one last brief read, then pulled out his phone, screen lighting up to display his lock background — you from the back in an 87 jacket after this most recent Super Bowl, being hoisted in his arms the very moment you found each other on the field. Smirking proudly at the memory, he unlocked the phone and opened his text thread with you.

Just read your letter, you sneaky lil thing, he tapped. My god, you know how to make a 6’5” NFLer weep like a baby! Thank you for writing it, sweetness. I love you so much. Less than four days now until I hug you and baby Kelce again 😍🤰🏻 Tell Mama I said hi and I love her! Call you later 😘

With that, he hit send, took a deep breath, tucked the letter into an empty drawer for safekeeping, and headed toward Isiah’s room — which was already echoing with his teammates’ raucous cheers and jeers — all while wondering what the hell he ever did to deserve a life so damn sweet.

#kissing kelce #the camp letter #travis kelce #my writing

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boldlyvoid · 1 year

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Bigger than the Whole Sky | Part two: from Neverland to Wonderland

18+ Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Summary: she went from dreaming about a life where she was a mom and she's loved and appreciated for who she is... to actually being appreciated, being really, truly loved and a mom of not just the baby Aaron has helped her make, but Jack as well.

Warnings: canon typical violence, description of a case including torture, starvation and murder, Aaron gets shot in the arm, hostage situation, knife tw, needle tw. step-mom reader, dad hotch, Day dates with Jack.

(18+) multiple smut scenes, Shower sex, dirty talk, breeding kink, creampies, pregnancy tests, high emotions, anxiety attacks, crying

word count: 10.4k

Fic Masterlist

Everyone is already waiting on the plane when Aaron and Y/N finally arrive, they quickly hand their bags to the attendant and board the jet while trying to act like they weren’t madly in love with each other.

“Don’t you look nice,” JJ catches it first, noticing Hotch is in a tux instead of his normal suit and Y/N’s in a stunning light blue dress.

“Thanks,” she quickly brushes it off and takes the seat across from JJ, closer to the window while Hotch takes the aisle spot right beside Y/N. “We were celebrating my divorce being finalized.”

“Oh, congrats,” Derek reaches over to give her a high five. “What’s it like to be a free woman again?”

She just sighs as she relaxes back into her chair, “I wouldn’t know we barely got 3 bites into our dinner when the call came in.”

“Sorry to ruin your date…” Reid teases from his seat.

“It’s okay, we’ll have more, “Y/N can’t help but smirk.

“Wait…” JJ’s eyes gleamed, “you’re not together, are you?”

Aaron and Y/N stare at each other with similar smirks, “I don’t know, are we?” She asks. She knew they shared a wonderful kiss and they both admitted to loving the other, but they never got that far.

Aaron just nods, reaching out to hold her hand over the armrest. “We weren’t going to tell you but—

“Leave it to the room of profilers to know everything,” Y/N teases.

“We can keep it a secret,” Derek announces, knowing the other two would agree.

“Keep what a secret?” Penelope makes herself known on the little jet TV.

Y/N simply lifts her hand up, bringing Aaron's hand up with her own. “us.”

“Oh, my god?” Penny can’t believe it. “I knew this was going to happen, but holy crap-ola!”

“At first it was just nice having a friend and pissing Peter off but… but now I can’t imagine a life without being this close to Aaron,” she shares, unable to wipe the smile off her face.

“How are we going to make this work?” JJ is the one to ask the serious question. “We can’t have our emotions compromised on the job… we worked 1 case with Will and I was a complete mess, how are you going to handle it?”

“Uh… well, I was thinking Y/N could report to Derek and when it comes to making decisions in the field I’ll take orders from him if she’s compromised,” Aaron admits. “If we file our fraternization paperwork, that’s what Cruz would have us do anyway.”

“I’m fine with that,” Derek doesn’t mind taking on that responsibility. “But you’ve gotta listen, I’m not going to be able to hold you back like I did with scrappy little Jenny from the block, over here.”

“Hey, I’m scrappy 'cause you taught me how to fight,” JJ reminds him.

“You’ve always been scrappy,” Spencer teases.

“Excuse me,” the pilot announces from the doorway of the cockpit. “We’ll be taking off shortly, do we have everyone?”

“We do, thank you,” Aaron confirms, giving them the go-ahead for takeoff.

“Speaking of, are we ever going to hire someone new? It was nice having Emily back for that one case a few months back, but, we need someone.” Derek asks, “And I’m still fine taking over for Dave now that he’s gone… but we need someone to take my spot and Emily’s.”

“I know,” Aaron sighs. “I’ve been looking over applications, no one seems right, yet.”

“I have to agree… I’ve been stalking the applicants,” Penelope admits. “We need to persuade Emily to come home for good.”

“I’ve been trying,” JJ rolls her eyes. “But she loves Interpol, she’s having the time of her life travelling the world. This week she was in Egypt catching—”

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we have another abduction,” Penelope announces. “I think we should switch to talking about our case…”

“Agreed,” Aaron says, letting go of Y/N’s hand and reaching for the files.

—

The case is an interesting one.

Small, blonde women between the ages of 19 and 23 are being abducted, and held for 2 to 3 days, only to be dumped at Reaves Park in Norman, Oklahoma when they succumb to their injuries. They’re not sexually assaulted, however, they are brutally beaten, starved and dehydrated before being stuffed into cardboard boxes and left in the park. They’re found in common areas, the footpath, the playground, and even the softball diamond. Clearly on display but still discarded like trash.

It takes them a few days and one more murdered woman to figure out what’s happening, and when they do, they discover it’s a female unsub. It’s rare, but not a surprise when there’s no sexual aspect. She’s seeking revenge for all the time someone “prettier” and “skinnier” than she was picked over her in her life. She’s suffering from severe psychosis, she believes by torturing them like this she’ll feel better but the more she does it, the harder it is to stop.

Putting them in boxes was the way Reid came to figure it all out. The boxes have serial numbers on the bottom flaps which Penelope traced back to an Amazon shipping warehouse in Stillwater, Oklahoma. The serial numbers on the boxes they have recovered all belong to a set of 20 which were bought and sold to a woman named Sarah Freeman and shipped to a P.O. Box also in her name.

Sarah Freeman is the name of a woman who went to Oklahoma state university in 1998. Sarah was president of Cappa Delta Chi, one of the many sororities on campus. Not only was she in charge of the existing sorority members, she was also in charge of the pledges. Pledges are like nominees, they’ve applied to join the sorority but they’re only approved after a month of hazing. Hazing is just a term for the physical and psychological abuse each pledge is put through until only the strongest girls are left. Hazing is hard to go through, it’s even harder for the ones labelled as ugly ducklings… the girls who are bigger than a size 2, are typically non-white and anything but blonde.

They interviewed Sarah, finding out that they not only starved their pledges for weeks because they weren’t a size 2… they made one specific pledge in ‘98 try, time and time again, to fit into a cardboard box without breaking the tape seams or ripping the cardboard to prove she was worthy. They made her do it at parties, in front of the fraternity brothers, and the other pledges, and they even made her sleep on top of a pile of broken boxes that she couldn’t fit into.

Hence, why she now puts these women in boxes. Their final resting spot is one of complete humility, as well as a symbol of how she felt: sick and tired of trying to fit into society's idea of a perfect woman.

This woman’s name was Nina Coleman. She’s their unsub.

The only problem is that Nina Coleman hasn’t been seen by anyone in years. Her parents are dead, she doesn’t have siblings and her credit history seemingly stopped in 2003… then Penelope decided to run the name Sarah Freeman again, finding that there are 2 women with that name in Oklahoma. One who they interviewed, and is currently in police custody for her own safety and another, living in a run-down farmhouse just outside of Cleveland County.

All 5 of them get suited up in their bulletproof vests and split up into 2 groups, Reid, JJ and Hotch are together in one and Y/N is partnered with Derek. It’s nerve-wracking, as every case is, but this feels even scarier than it should. She trusts her team immensely… it’s just hard watching Aaron enter the creepy farmhouse knowing that she’s taking the barn with Derek. She wants to protect him but she knows it’s smarter this way.

Over the radio, Hotch announces that they’re inside, the first floor is clear and taking the basement. Derek says they’re still outside the barn, the perimeter is clear so they’re going in. She covers Derek's six, watching behind them in case the unsub is laying in wake and watching their every move. Derek kicks the barn door in, he checks both directions, “clear,” he whispers to Y/N. “I’ll go left, you go right, we’ll meet in the back?”

“Got it,” she agrees, holding her gun and flashlight, she’s hyper vigilante of everything going on. She tiptoes around hay piles, she sees bloody footprints on the floor and she’s startled by a scarecrow hung on the wall with a metal stake… it’s so fucked up.

In the distance, outside the barn and near the house, she hears 3 very familiar sounds.

Gunshots.

“Derek?” She calls out to him, “Did you hear that??”

“Yeah!” He says, racing her to the barn door and back to the farmhouse. “HOtch!” He calls into the radio. “JJ? Reid!?”

Nothing.

They race to the house, through the kicked-in door and right down to the basement. JJ is on the floor, a bullet has grazed her leg, Hotch is bleeding from his arm and pinned up against the wall of the basement, knife to his throat and 2 guns by his feet… Reid, stands with his gun locked on the unsub, quietly trying to calm her, but it’s not working.

She’s huge. Taller than Hotch, nothing but muscle and hatred, you can’t even really see him where he’s trapped. She’s so much more than they expected.

Both Y/N and Derek have their sights locked on her, slowly making their way down the last few steps, Y/N steps over JJ while Derek leans down to try and help her. One hand aims his gun, and the other works at getting his belt off so JJ can make a tourniquet and stop the bleeding.

“Nina, Nina, please, we’re just here to make sure you’re okay!” Reid tries.

“I’M NOT NINA!”

“Sarah!” Y/N steps in, “You’re Sarah Freeman, we know that… Sarah, we just came because your sisters are worried about you. You never RSVP’d to the Cappa Delta Chi reunion newsletter and they thought maybe you were hurt.”

Nina turns then, still holding the knife to Hotch but her face drops. She is full of concern and bewilderment at the same time, “they want me to come?”

“Of course they do? You’re a former president, aren’t you, Sarah? You’re a legacy now, of course, they want you to come,” Y/N keeps her voice low and soft, she even lowers her gun and holsters it. “Can you let go of my friend Aaron?”

“But— but they called me Nina?” She says, gripping him tighter.

“They were just confused, they thought Nina was going to hurt you, Sarah… Nina’s been hurting beautiful women just like you and that’s why everyone was worried, they thought Nina finally got the prettiest girl in all of Oklahoma,” she lies again, hoping to god that complying with ‘Sarah’s’ delusions would help them.

“Oh,” she understands, dropping the knife she starts to back away from Aaron. “You think I’m pretty?”

“So beautiful,” Y/N agrees, looking to Reid who agrees, even Aaron does. “See? Everyone here is just here to keep you safe… now, I actually spoiled the surprise, I feel so bad but… would you let us blindfold you and tie your hands behind your back so you can’t take it off, and we can take you to your surprise party at Cappa Delta Chi?”

She nods like a child, giddy with joy. She puts her own hands behind her back and closes her eyes. Hotch reaches into his pockets for the cuffs and puts them on her pretty tight and then rips a part of his already torn sleeve off, using it to blindfold her. Once they get the cuffs on her, Derek radios for their backup to come down and then radios for an ambulance.

“These nice friends of ours are going to escort you there, you’re going to have a police escort to the party,” Y/N continues to lie to her.

They get her up the stairs and they pass her off to the local police just as the ambulance is rolling in. Y/N stops one of the EMTs, letting the other go down to JJ. “You’re going to have to sedate her,” she points to the unsub. “Once she knows she’s not going to a party she’s going to go crazy and she can overpower all of you.”

“Got it,” the EMT says, heading back to the ambulance they get a vial of something and draw it into a needle. He follows Y/N to the ambulance and waits for the signal to inject her.

“Sarah? It’s me, Y/N, you did so good getting into the car,” she points at the EMT and he jabs her.

“What?! What are you— what… are…” and then she slumps forward.

“There we go,” Y/N smiles, proud of herself. She closes the door and then taps the roof. “you’re good to take her to the station. Make sure they know she’s suffering from delusions and have a doctor present when they read her her rights.”

The cops all nod, heading off while the other EMT races back into the house and down to JJ and Hotch. She runs then too, almost forgetting that Aaron was bleeding, she was so concerned with getting Nina away from him and now that she’s gone, she can freak out a little.

Downstairs, Derek and Spencer are checking out the unsubs lair… it’s a lot creepier than they suspected. She took photos of everything, developed them herself and hung them on the walls. During the 3 days she had each woman, she’d make them get into different boxes. Some metal, some extra small… one that even resembles the chokey from Matilda. It’s horrific. But she’s been stopped. That’s all they can ever hope for.

JJ gets help up the stairs and Hotch is just sitting on the bottom step, holding some bloody gauze to his arm, he’s going to probably need stitches when they get to the hospital. “Hey,” she makes her presence known as she sits beside him. “Are you okay?”

“I think so?” He shrugs, not having a chance to look at himself… even when he’s covered in blood and his shirt is ripped up, he’s still the most handsome man in the world.

She carefully lifts his chin to get a look at his neck, he has a couple small cuts from the blade and his arm is still bleeding. “Lift this up for me,” she says, taking his left hand and helping him lift his arm, “I don’t want you to bleed anymore, this will make it coagulate at the wound.”

“Thanks, nurse,” Aaron teases her. “But really, you did an amazing job.”

“Thank you… I knew she was delusional and she’s been living in a fantasy where she’s been making these pledges suffer, celebrating her was the only way she’d leave calmly,” Y/N explains with a shrug. “I really just wanted to make sure you were safe.”

“I’m fine,” Aaron assures her, still holding his arm in the air. “I’m always coming home with you, remember?”

She nods, “And me with you.”

—

They get right on the plane after the case is wrapped, JJ wants to be home and not in a hotel room with her stitched-up leg and Aaron feels the same with his arm. Turns out, he wasn’t cut with the knife, a bullet grazed his arm as he pushed JJ down to the ground. Protecting JJ is what enraged the unsub and cause her to pin him to the wall… he was protecting a skinny, beautiful, blonde woman. Of course, it triggered her.

She sits on Aaron's right side on the plane, she leans into his personal space and rests her head on his shoulder for most of the flight, she holds his hand too. She just wants to be close to him and never let him go. So when they land in the middle of the night, she makes him come home with her.

She drives his SUV because he’s tired from the blood loss and the case in general. He’s pretty adorable when he’s this tired too. He cracks little jokes, tells her she’s beautiful and on the walk up to her house, he snuggles into her side only to cover her in kisses once they’re inside. He’s had to hold off on showing her affection for almost a week and he’s done pretending she isn’t the most kissable person in the world.

“Okay, okay,” she giggles, gently pushing him back. “We have to go to sleep, you haven’t had a real rest in days… tomorrow we can spend the whole day making out, okay?”

“Just making out?”

Part of her can’t believe he said that and the other half really hopes he isn’t kidding. She looks up at him curiously, “are you sure you’re ready for that?”

He nods, “Even if it’s just a few practice rounds… or we could start trying right away, I don’t mind either way.”

“Is it even safe to get all your blood pumping like that when you have stitches in your arm?” She asks, more concerned about him than anything else.

He shrugs, “We’ll see in the morning…”

“Okay,” she smiles, happier than she’s been in a long time. “Come on, let’s get ready for bed.”

She gets him up the stairs and into her room, she helps him get his shirt off and runs her fingers down his chest to his stomach, taking it all in as she reaches for his belt. “Did you want to have a shower?”

“Are you offering to help wash me?” Aaron teases.

She nods, feeling a little shy as the prospect of seeing him naked gets more real. "I can…”

“Do you want to?”

“More than you know,” she mumbles, taking in a stuttered breath, she really wants to help.

“I’ll wash your back if you wash mine?” Aaron teases.

“Always.”

She takes him into the bathroom, she draws the shower curtain back and starts running the water all while Aaron pushes his dress pants to the floor and steps out of them. He takes a seat on the closed lid of the toilet and starts to pull off his socks while she works on the zipper of her dress to no avail. “Can you help?” She asks, making sure her hair is out of the way and her back is to him.

“Mhm,” he hums, standing behind her he begins to unzip her dress. His free hand comes around to cup her stomach and once her dress is unzipped, he pushes the fabric to the side and presses a kiss to her back.

He pulls her in closer and kisses her neck, breathing her in and taking it slow as the room fills with steam. He pushes her straps off her shoulders and lets the dress fall to the floor and the hand that rested on her stomach makes its way up to cup her breast, over her bra. She can feel his excitement as he grinds against her…

She tilts her head to the side and lets him kiss all the way up to her jaw, taking it all in, she closes her eyes and hums, “You feel so good.”

“You’re so much softer than I imagined,” he admits.

“I’ll just get softer after we get clean,” she teases, stepping away from him and turning to face him. “Come on, I can’t waste all this water.”

She reaches behind her back and unclips her bra, slowly she slips the straps off her shoulders and tosses it to the ground. She watches his eyes drop down to her chest and then widen, “Wow…”

“Your turn,” she teases, referencing down to the tent in his boxers and trying not to look too excited…

“I take it you’ve been imagining things too?” He teases as he pushes his boxers down and watches her eyes travel down to his newly exposed skin.

She just nods, “Uh-huh…”

“Come on,” he steps closer to her, placing his hands on her hips and toying with the hem of her underwear, “what did you say about wasting water?”

“I don’t care, Derek is still technically paying for it,” she quickly explains and lunges for his lips again.

This kiss is messy and wet, his tongue is so warm against her own. He backs her up until her heels hit the lip of the shower and he catches her so that she doesn’t fall backwards, making them both laugh. He breaks the kiss just to keep kissing down her neck and chest until he’s dropping to his knees and kissing her stomach and feels up her legs. He takes ahold of her panties and pulls them down slowly, instead, covering her in more kisses in place of the fabric.

He’s up close and personal with her most private area and yet she has no fear for once in her life. He helps her step out of her underwear and then his hands trace back up her legs and he cups her hips. He presses another kiss to her lower stomach, the part where she feels the most insecure most of the time… but not today.

“You’re so beautiful… so, so beautiful,” he mutters against her skin between kisses. “I can’t wait to get you pregnant and kiss your belly a million more times as you grow our babies.”

She runs her fingers through his hair, pushing it back off his face and making him look up at her with his big brown doe eyes. “Then get up here and show me how a real man loves,” she whispers back.

She gets him to his feet and into the shower, he sighs at the feeling of the warm water cascading over him. He tilts his head back into the stream, giving her the chance to press gentile kisses to the marks on his neck and trace her hands down his big arms.

He wraps her up in said arms and spins them around so she has a chance to get wet… as if she wasn’t already. “I only have girly shampoos and stuff,” she says.

“I don’t care,” he replies with one hell of a smile. “Smelling like you might actually make me sleep better.”

She doesn’t argue with that, for one because she knows that when she can smell him, either on her clothes or when he’s sleeping next to her, she sleeps ten times better. And for 2… she’s pretty sure he uses the most boring “just for men” shampoo and body wash that this will feel like time at the spa for him.

They lather each other up between stolen kisses and fits of giggles, getting to touch every inch of each other in such a caring manner is so new to her but she never wants it to become old. So many things with Peter lost their spark, and so many aspects of her life dwindled to darkness that she’s absolutely terrified to overdo it with Aaron. She takes her time, she takes it all in and she lets herself live in the happy moment, never knowing when it’s going to come to an inevitable end.

He spins her around to wash her back he runs his soapy hands all over her, around to her stomach where he pulls her in close and grinds his cock against her ass. “I can’t take it anymore, you smell so fucking good I could eat you.”

She giggles, “is it really safe to fuck in the shower?”

“Mhm,” he hums in her ear. His hands drop lower and rest over her pussy. “Do you want to?”

“Please,” she says with a breath.

She leans forward, bracing herself with her hands on the shower wall, giving Aaron the leverage to line his cock up with her from behind. He slips into her with a little stretch that makes her moan as she pushes back against him, taking him as deep as she could.

“Holy fuck, Aaron,” she whines. “Split me in 2, why don’t you?”

“Not my fault you’re so tight,” he teases.

“It’s mine… it’s been too long,” she shares, straightening back up so her back is to his chest once again, she looks over her shoulder at him and catches him in a kiss. She reaches back to place her hand on his cheek, she moans into the kiss as he begins to thrust. His hand glides up to her breasts, massaging them gently, he keeps his other hand over her stomach and then he drops it lower. His middle finger slips between her pussy lips and starts to circle her clit, enhancing her pleasure tenfold.

The sound of their wet skin clapping fills the room, she breaks the kiss to lean her head back on his shoulder, still holding his cheek in her hand when he goes back to kissing her neck. “you’re taking me so well, baby.”

“Aaron,” she moans again, “I’m so close already…��

“That’s okay to let go, baby,” he encourages her.

Her nipples harden at the sound of his voice, he doesn’t miss a beat as he pinches and tweaks her pretty peeks. His tongue drags along her neck, up to her ear where he nibbles, he groans, feeling her flutter and tighten around him. “Finish with me.” He says it more as an order than a question. He wants to feel her finish as he pumps her full.

Her legs start to quake as her orgasm builds, he keeps her steady, holding her flush against his body with his large hand on her stomach. She feels the rush of pleasure course through her veins, she can’t help moaning out his name surrounded by obscenities, they echo around the room. Her orgasm washes over her just as he stills inside of her with a moan of his own.

Lazily kissing her neck, his breathing is heavy but he can’t help himself from saying: “I love you, I love you so much, Y/N.”

“I love you,” she’s able to reply, equally fucked out and spacey. Her eyes feel heavy, and her limbs feel weak. “Oh, my god…”

“I know,” he mumbles against her, still covering her exposed skin in kisses. “And there’s more where that came from.”

—

When she wakes up the next morning, she’s in her bedroom surrounded by sunlight and the feeling of Aaron beside her. His arm is draped over her stomach and the feeling of his breath on the back of her neck. He’s been tucked in behind her all night now, it’s her favourite way to sleep, feeling so calm and peaceful in his big strong arms.

All of her, all of him, intertwined. The golden daylight shines down upon them like magic. A fresh page of a brand new fairytale, one that doesn’t know darkness, one that only knows love and happiness and peace. Forever and Always.

She snuggles back into her pillow and shuffles back into him more so that he tightens his grip on her. He presses a sleepy kiss to her shoulder and squeezes her tighter just like she wanted him to. “Morning,” she speaks softly, still groggy with sleep.

“Morning,” he whispers into her ear before pressing another kiss behind it. “How’d you sleep?”

“Better than I have in months,” she admits. “That’s a lie, I slept okay all this week in that hotel with you.”

“Yeah, but in that hotel I couldn’t just slip into you,” he teases.

She shakes her head with a smile, teasingly, she asks, “Why didn’t you tell me before you’re so into doggy—

“I’m not,” he starts to laugh. “I’m just always behind you lately.”

“Okay, then,” she turns around in his arms so she could face him. She hikes her leg over his hip and he rolls onto his back, bringing her on top of him.

His hands roam her naked back all the way down to her butt where he grips her tight and smirks up at her, “You wanna try again?”

She nods, “if it’s always as good as it was last night… I hope it takes a little while to get knocked up,” she laughs.

“It won’t take that long,” he’s sure of it. “And if you’re this horny now… you’re going to be even more insatiable when you’re pregnant.”

“Oh yeah?”

He nods, “oh yeah… not to go all Reid on you but with twice the amount of blood coursing through your body, you’re going to be the most sensitive girl in the world for 9 months.”

“Mmm, that sounds fun,” she says with a wiggle of her hips. She lifts herself so she can reposition his hardened cock against her core and grind on him.

He tosses his head back against his pillow with a smile, “god, I love you.”

“I love you,” she smiles. Leaning in, she kisses his jaw and all the way up to his ear. With his hands on her hips, he helps her find a good rhythm.

She covers him in kisses, and she sucks on his neck just gently enough to get him going but not hard enough to leave a mark. They only have 1 day off, there isn’t enough time to let any hickies heal before they have to see their friends and co-workers again… when they get a little more time, however, she’s probably going to be the one covered in little marks. Small reminders of how much he loves her and advertisements of who she belongs to.

It doesn’t take much for them to get all hot and heavy. She lifts her hips just enough for him to position himself at her entrance and she slips down onto him easily. He squeezes her hips harder, little bruises in the shape of his fingerprints will surely show in a day or two, as he helps her ride him. He draws her lips closer, kissing her for real, this time. She moans into the kiss, rolling her hips to keep riding him… but her rhythm is off, she’s too into kissing him to do two things at once.

He wraps his arms around her back and cradles her body as he rolls them over. He breaks the kiss just to look between them, he grips his cock and the base and taps her clit with his swollen head, “fuck,” she whispers.

“Yeah?” He teases, rubbing his cock over her clit again, coating himself in her wetness. “You know, it’s easier to get knocked up if you’ve orgasmed already…”

He kisses her lips one last time, he shuffles down the bed, he grips her tits, pushing them together and kisses her right nipple, then the left and then he lets them go, gravity separates them enough for him to kiss the centre of her chest and down her stomach until he’s laying between her legs. She’s dreamed about this moment, the way he’d look up at her with greedy, lust-blown eyes just as he licks at her cunt. And he does just that, only it’s 10x better than she ever expected.

She reaches out to brush his hair off his forehead and grips it as best as she can at this length. It’s been far too long since anyone, including her, has focused on her own pleasure. Sure, she came last night in the shower but that was a mutual gratification. He’s currently just doing this for her. For the benefits it’ll bring her body. And fuck, is it ever good. He slips two fingers inside as his tongue toys with her clit, she moans in response, tossing her head back, “Aaron…”

Her free hand comes up to grip her breast, she needs something to hold, she feels like her soul is going to leap from her body if she doesn’t writhe and grind up against him. She moves with the waves of pleasure that cascade over her, drowning in love, she feels so overwhelmed as her orgasm hits and floods her shores.

“Aaron,” she whines. “Aaron, please…”

He kisses up her body again, his lips glistening as he licks them, “yes?” He teases. “What do you need, my love, tell me.”

“Fuck me, please, put a baby in me, Aaron,” she begs, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his hips. “Please?”

“Good girl,” he praises, guiding his cock into her, he hisses with how sensitive he is as he pushes inside. “shit… I could live here— quit my fuckin’ job and make love to you all day long.”

“Okay,” she doesn’t fight it, it actually sounds like a dream getting to stay in this feeling for life.

He grabs the pillow from his side of the bed, “lift for me, baby?” He asks, shoving the pillow under her hips as soon as there is enough room to do so.

He gets her at a new angle and situates himself on his knees so he can fuck her with a bit more power. Her arms slip away from his shoulders, and she traces down his arms until they reach the bed where she grips her sheets. He grips her hips, holding her steady as he does so, watching her arch her hips and toss her head back at the new waves of pleasure. She spreads her legs a little wider, feeling him as deep as humanly possible inside of her. He grips the inside of her thigh and squeezes the plush of her delicious thighs.

“Aaron,” she repeats his name again, “I need… holy fuck, Aaron…”

“Use your words,” he teases, enjoying how far gone she is from his touch.

“My clit, I need… I need more, st-stim-stimulation,” she struggles to speak through the pleasure. “Please?”

He’s quick to bring his forefingers to her clit in a circular motion, “There you go.”

“Thank—thank you, oh my god,” she whines again. Her grip tightens on her sheets, she wishes she could hold onto him but he’s too far away right now.

As if he can read her mind, he leans in closer, capturing her mouth in a sloppy kiss and her arms go right around him. She grips onto his back, dragging her nails over his skin, making him groan into the kiss. She can tell he’s close by the way his rhythm changes, he thrusts faster but offbeat. The hand on her thigh goes up to her knee pit, pushing her leg up against her chest he’s basically got her folded in half as he fucks her deeper than ever before.

Her second orgasm hits her like a truck, out of nowhere she feels it rip through her, all she can do is toss her head back, mouth open in a silent moan as her body quakes. As much as he tries to hold back, wanting it to last forever, he succumbs to the feeling of her fluttering around him once more. He drops his weight onto her, he wraps one arm around her waist and ruts into her until he reaches his finish. His other hand comes up to cup her face in a deep kiss as he reaches his high, he stills deep inside her, filling her up. She feels every drop. And it’s everything she ever wanted.

She giggles as she comes down, laughing against his lips and making him smile. “What?”

“You fucked me silly,” she teases him. She wraps her legs around him again, holding him there.

“Thanks,” he smirks. “you gonna let me go get cleaned up, or?”

She shakes her head, “Uh-uh, stay here. Keep it all in there.”

“You’re a freak,” he teases her. “Seriously?”

She just nods with a smile, “says the man who just put me in a mating press.”

“Hey…” he can’t even think of a comeback because he did just do that.

“And last night you said you want to get me pregnant so you can keep kissing my big, round tummy… you have a breeding kink, Hotchner,” she profiles him. “How could you not tell me?”

He shrugs, “I didn’t realize that’s what it was until now.”

“So you didn’t fall in love with me just cause you knew you could keep me big and pregnant for the next few years?”

His eyes roll back with a groan, “okay don’t say that I’m going to get hard again.”

“Good,” she teases. “Fuck me like that again and I’ll be pregnant in no time.”

“Okay,” he doesn’t need to be asked twice.

—

When they’re really done and cleaned up again, Aaron slips out of the room to give Jess a call.

She hates the thought of him leaving but he does have a son and a place of his own to get back to. They were going to talk it all out before this last case, but that got cut short. So now, she sits in her room all alone, half-dressed, wondering what it’s going to be like when everything changes again.

At some point, she’s not just going to be Aaron's girlfriend and co-worker. She’s going to be his co-parent. The mother to his new baby and a helping hand with his original child. She knows just how much he loves Jack and she can’t wait to see up close and personal the way he is as a dad, to get a taste of what he’s going to be like with their children, too.

He gives her a kiss once he comes back in, “you okay?”

“Yeah, just thinking,” she gives him a small smile. “How’s Jack?”

“Good… he convinced Jess to take him to the museum today, so he’s been having the time of his life, he didn’t even think to ask if I was home yet,” Aaron shares with a smile. “He’s really getting into Indiana Jones right now, he’s moved from one George Lucas franchise to the next.”

“Oh, I remember when I wanted to be an archeologist, those were the good old days,” she can’t wait to talk to him about it. She too, loved those movies and not just because young Harrison Ford is hot…

“Do you want to come out to dinner with me and Jack, later?” Aaron asks. “We don’t have to tell him anything, yet.”

She nods, “Yeah, I’d love that… he’s not going to think it’s weird that you brought someone from work out—

“Dave and Spencer are at my house all the time, Jack's best friend is Henry… he’s very used to having my work friends around,” Aaron shares, calming her nerves. “And the more he gets to know you, the easier it’ll be when we tell him what’s going on.”

“What is going on?” She asks, her voice so tiny and cautious. “Are we just dating? Did you ever want to get married again? Are you going to be okay if I stop working to just be a mom for a few years?”

“Y/N,” he walks over and cups her face in his hands, he kisses the tip of her nose and stares into her eyes. “I love you, I want you in whatever capacity you want to share yourself with me and I want us to be a family. You, me, Jack and the baby we’re working on.”

She smiles, “I want to be a family with you, too… I just don’t think I can live through another heartbreak, so—

“I’m never leaving you, I’m like a scar that won’t ever fade. I’m going to stay here, attached to you, for the rest of your life,” Aaron says, he brings her in for another kiss and holds her there, breathing her in and sealing the promise.

—

They go at it once more before they have to leave to meet up with Jack and Jess. They agree on a local place, Jess isn’t going to stay for the meal, she has a date of her own to get to so she just drops Jack off with them, she shakes Y/N’s hand and makes her acquaintance and then she's gone.

“How was your day, buddy?” Aaron asks, hand on his back, he caresses his shirt with his thumb.

“Really cool, I got to see the new dinosaur exhibit,” Jack says with a big smile plastered to his face… he looks so much like Aaron but more like his mom. Specifically the picture in Aaron's office of her smiling on their wedding day. Their smile is the exact same.

“I’m so glad you had a good day… have I ever introduced you to my friend Y/N?” Aaron asks, extending an arm to her.

She waves at him, “Hi, Jack.”

“Hi… are you my dads' new girlfriend?”

“Jack,” Aaron can’t believe he asked that, but then again he’s 10, almost 11. He’s smart too… of course, he would know.

She nods, “I am. But I work with him too, so we’ve known each other for a while… are you okay with that?”

He nods, “You can keep him safe from the bad guys.”

“Yeah, I can,” she stands a little taller and smiles. “I heard this is your favourite place to eat with your aunt, so, can you tell me what’s good?”

He nods even more enthusiastically this time. “Come on,” he takes her hand and drags her inside the restaurant.

Inside, they get a booth and Jack sits beside Y/N, across from his dad, who always sits facing the door, watching everyone who comes in and who leaves. She never noticed it before, not until Jack tells her: “Dad says that if there’s ever a bad guy, he’d be the first to see it, so he’d be the first to help.”

“Your dad is the best at getting bad guys,” she agrees, it’s something she’s always admired about him.

“You know, Y/N is good at it too, she saved me from an unsub the other day,” Aaron shares.

“Really?” Jack looks at her all concerned. “What happened.”

“A crazy lady was keeping girls in boxes and she was like the size of a house… she would’ve snapped your dad like a toothpick but I convinced her she had a surprise party to go to, cause remember, she was crazy, and she willingly went right into police custody,” she shares like its no big deal.

“Wow,” Jack is blown away. “You’re really cool…”

“Why, thank you,” Y/N can’t believe he said that. “That means a lot to me.”

Jack gives her another big smile. “Do you have any kids?”

She shakes her head, “No… but I want to have some.”

Jack looks right at his dad, “do you?”

“Jack, buddy—

“It would be cool if you did,” Jack cuts him off. “We had sex ed last week so I know you need a boy to—

“Jack,” she cuts him off too and reaches out for his hand. “We can talk about it later, but not now, okay?”

He nods. “okay.”

Aaron looks at her with eyes that read “I’m sorry” She just smiles and shrugs as if to say it’s fine. Cause it is, she’s not embarrassed or anything. Jack is curious, he’s smart and he’s emotionally mature enough to see that his dad is in love with this new lady… and Henry has been learning about what it’s like to be a big brother. Cause JJ and Will are really trying to expand their family, so much so that she’s started doing IVF.

Jack and Henry do everything together. They’ve bonded over having 1 workaholic parent and their love of superheroes. They spend their weekends playing and visiting museums and parks… it’s only natural for him to want to be a big brother if Henry is going to be one too.

After that, they have a seemingly normal and wonderful meal. The food is good, just like Jack promised and their drive home together is pretty quiet. Jack stares out the window, the radio is on low and Aaron holds her hand over the middle console. They stop at a corner store for snacks, Jack has been wanting to rent the latest Marvel movie and so they pick it up too.

The 3 of them all cuddle up on the couch, Jack sits between them, and Aaron drapes his arm over the back of the seat so he can rub her shoulder every few moments and keep constant contact with her. They blow through their popcorn and candy, Jack stays up for the whole movie because of all the sugar and then he wants to stay there with them. He snuggled into Y/N’s side, tucked under her arm and everything. Aaron’s not surprised… he’s like this with JJ and he was like this with Beth too. He misses his mom and this is the closest thing he gets to having her back, so Aaron lets him stay up. And when he falls asleep, they carry him to bed and tuck him in together.

She has to wipe a stray tear once they close his bedroom door, overwhelmed with feelings… the biggest one is love. “He’s the sweetest.”

Aaron pulls her in for a hug, “So are you.”

“I loved tonight,” she says as she pulls back, she smiles up at him with gleaming eyes. “I loved all day with you, actually.”

Aaron cups her face in his hands, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Do you want to stay tonight?” He asks, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs.

She nods, “if that’s okay?”

“It’s perfect… I’ll take the couch, you can have my bed,” he says with a half smile. “It would be weird for him to see us in bed in the morning. He typically tries to crawl in with me when I’m home, I don’t want him to think we’re moving too quickly.”

“That’s okay,” she doesn’t mind at all. “We can still hang out for a while before bed, though, right?”

He nods, “Absolutely.”

—

She knew in her mind that getting pregnant wasn’t going to happen in an instant. She’s so used to going month after month with negative pregnancy tests and being over 35 and with Aaron in his late 40s… she didn’t think either of them would be able to produce a baby so quickly. But boy, was she wrong.

During dinner she got a whiff of Jacks mack and Cheese with Dino nuggets and felt sick, the smell of the powdered fake cheese mixed with ketchup made her stomach churn and she had to excuse herself to the bathroom to clutch her chest and wait for the nausea to pass. It was so weird, she didn’t understand what was going on. At first, she suspected that she caught something in their latest case, and then she turned to look in the mirror.

Her skin was clearer than it ever had been, her hair was shiny, and her boobs were perky as all hell… “Oh my god,” she whispered to herself as her hand traced down her chest to cup her stomach. “Oh, my god?”

It took everything in her to act normal the rest of the night but Aaron could tell something was up. He offered to let her sleep in his bed once again, he still didn’t want to sleep together around Jack yet. He’s still getting used to the fact his dad has another serious girlfriend. After losing Beth as well, Aaron is not ready to rush things on him. So, she refused his offer, saying she was fine when really she was panicking. The plan was to call Aaron as soon as she got home, instead, she texts him to let him know she made it safely… but she didn’t send that text from home, she sent it from the parking lot of Target.

She needed to go buy and test and cry in her bathroom, alone, no matter the outcome.

Her period wasn’t late, she didn’t test this month to know her ovulation window and this is nighttime urine. The best time to test would be in the morning, so she grabs 4 tests, a sleeve of red solo cups and a tub of ice cream and she heads home for real this time.

She kicks off her shoes at the front door, puts the ice cream in her freezer and races to her bathroom upstairs. She tears the package of cups open and a few falls to the floor, she grabs one and immediately pushes her pants down so she could hover over the toilet and pee into said cup… no one ever said finding out if you’re pregnant was pretty.

With a good amount of pee in the cup, she places it on the counter and finishes her business. When she stands again, she reaches for the grocery bag on the counter and takes out the pregnancy test box, reading the back hastily, she tears it open for a test. It’s fairly simple, submerge the test strip in the urine for 30 seconds, wait 3 minutes and then check for two lines.

So simple… so why is she freaking the fuck out?

She dips the test into the cup, counts 30 Mississippi’s and then sets it on a piece of toilet paper to do its thing. And instead of freaking out the whole time, she goes to her bedroom to strip out of her work clothes and into something comfortable so that the 3 minutes fly by. And they do.

When she goes back to the bathroom, she does everything but looks at the counter… she’s not ready to be heartbroken again. She crosses her fingers, she takes a deep breath and she looks down at the test.

At first, she doesn’t see a second line so her heart drops to her stomach, but as she picks it up and turns it towards the light, the second line is there but extremely faded. She can’t believe it. It doesn’t feel real in the slightest and instead of getting her hopes up, she believes it’s a false positive. She thinks maybe she left it in the pee too long or maybe she let it sit too long… maybe something different will happen in the morning? She has no idea but she doesn’t believe she’s pregnant.

So she goes to bed. She doesn’t sleep. But she lays there, staring up a the ceiling thinking of all the possibilities until tears roll down her cheeks and into her ears. She has never been this close to a positive before. Every single dream she had about her baby was back in her mind, just rewritten with a better man holding their tiny child in his arms.

Aaron is already such an amazing dad, thinking about him with another little baby is so easy to do. She can imagine lazy Sundays in bed as a family of 4, she can imagine trips to the store for groceries, and dinner somewhere quick like McDonald's, and screaming kids in the playroom trying to get along… she can imagine most of all the way he’d cup her gigantic tummy time and time again as they build a bigger family. She can imagine Jack helping around the house and getting her bottles and diapers from another room. She can imagine him holding the babies in the hospital, introducing his siblings to their new baby brothers or sisters and passing on the torch of older brother. She can imagine all of them in the crowd at Jack's graduation and surrounding him with all the love in the world. Because it’s what he deserves.

All the dreams that would’ve been, the babies that should’ve been… they’re nothing compared to what she already has with Aaron and Jack. But a new baby wouldn’t hurt. Or a few more after that.

—

When she wakes up in the morning, the first thing she does is pee in another cup. She dips the test in it for 30 seconds and leaves it upside down on a piece of toilet paper while she does the rest of her morning routine for the next 3 minutes. She really doesn’t want to stress about it, it’s going to be fine regardless of if she is pregnant or not. At least with Aaron, he’s actually willing to help her try this time and he had all the parts to do so… and boy, did he know how to use them.

As much as she is excited to possibly be pregnant, she kinda wishes the trying period was longer. Having sex with him was fun. She hasn’t had fun, loving, enjoyable sex in years and the thought of it stopping made her a little sad.

She heads downstairs to make herself some coffee and toast, her nerves aren’t making her hungry but she knows she has to eat before work. By the time the toast is popping up, her phone alarm is going off to tell her it’s time to check the test. Part of her wants to run up the stairs. The rest of her freezes. She’s really not ready. And she doesn’t want to find out alone.

So she stops the alarm and she calls Aaron.

He picks up right away, “are you okay?”

She wants to start crying right away, her whole body is shot with hormones and feelings, she hasn’t ever felt like this before. “I don’t know,” she manages to say with a quivering voice. “I think I’m pregnant.”

“Jess just arrived, I can be there in 15 minutes,” he says within seconds. “You’re okay, it’s going to be fine, I promise. I’ll be there as soon as possible— wait, do you have tests? Do you need some? Or anything else?”

“I already did a test I just can’t look at it without you,” she admits.

“That’s okay, love, I promise I’ll be there in a minute… do you want me to stay on the phone?”

“No… no, it’s fine. I’ll see you soon?”

“Yes, you will. I love you,” he says and she can almost hear the sweet smile in his voice.

“I love you too,” she says back, hanging up soon thereafter.

She doesn’t head back upstairs at all, she can’t bring herself to drink her coffee in case she is pregnant and it’s not like she needs it. The nerves alone have woken her up completely and also made her unable to eat anything she’s so anxious she could throw up… or is that from being pregnant? She doesn’t know.

When he pulls up, she’s standing on the front porch with a cup of coffee for him. “I can’t drink it if I am pregnant.”

“Actually you can have 1 a day,” he says with a smile, taking it anyway. He wraps one arm around her and pulls her in for a hug. He kisses her head and holds her there for a moment. “It’s going to be okay.”

“I know, I just needed you,” she says as she pulls away. She reaches for the door and lets them both back inside, locking it behind herself. Even when she’s awake she doesn’t ever leave the door unlocked. She’s been at her job too long to know any difference.

Aaron follows her up the stairs and into her bedroom, he takes a few sips of coffee and places it on the night table on his side of the bed. He notices she’s not even dressed for work yet, so he sends Penelope a text to let her, and the others, know they’d be late.

“Are you ready?” He asks, watching her as she stands anxiously in the doorway of her bathroom.

She nods. “I think so.”

“Even if it's a negative, we have lots of time,” Aaron reminds her, he places his hand on her back and smiles. “And I’d be more than willing to go to your fertility doctor.”

“Yeah?”

He nods, “if we need a little help, there’s no shame in that.”

“I love you,” she leans into his space and kisses him right on the lips this time. He tastes like coffee and hope… so she’s ready. “Let's go look.”

“After you,” he says, letting her into the bathroom first.

She stands at the counter, her hands gripping the linoleum top. She takes a deep breath and flips the test over.

It’s positive.

Very clearly and darkly positive. Two lines standing side by side, bright pink and happy to be there.

“Holy shit,” Aaron is the first to speak.

She just stares at it with her jaw on the floor… she’s never seen a positive on her own test in her entire life. After almost 80 tests. 8 years. She has a positive. She’s having a baby.

Aaron’s baby.

She turns to him with tears welling in her eyes, they slip down her cheeks as she starts to laugh… its absurd. She doesn’t know what else to do as she jumps into his arms and holds him tight. His big hands land on her back, he buries his face in her neck and gives her a few kisses. “We did it.”

“We did it,” she repeats. “We fucking did it!!”

They celebrate with a few more kisses and then she turns back to look at the test again. “I need to take a picture of this, I’m going to send it to my mom and maybe even frame it. Holy fuck, I’m pregnant!”

“You’re so cute,” he reminds her. “God, I love you so much.”

She can’t stop smiling. She does take a picture of it, she puts it in a plastic bag for safekeeping and slips it into her night side table. She’s so sidetracked, talking a million miles a minute about doctors' appointments and how they should tell their families and the team and so much more, Aaron can’t even keep up. She says everything while walking around the room, looking for something he would help her find but she isn’t talking about it, she’s stuck on the baby.

“Baby,” he uses her pet name to draw her out of it, he holds her by her shoulders and looks in her eyes. “What are you looking for?”

“I don't know… I can’t remember? What was I saying?”

“Something about a baby registry? Honey, we have 9 months. Just get ready, we have to go to work.”

“Right, sorry,” she’s so out of it.

“It’s fine,” he doesn’t mind, at all, actually. He thinks it’s cute, he just knows the team will have more questions every minute they’re alone in the office.

She picks out a pair of dress pants and a white dress shirt with muted blue and pink lines on it… subtle, but it also screams “A baby is coming” and Aaron wonders just how long it’ll take everyone to start placing bets. If they haven’t already.

He finally gets her already and into his car, he makes sure she didn’t forget anything with everything that’s on her mind already… and then they’re gone.

“Aaron, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to be normal today,” she admits as they pull up to the building. “I'm so scared to move or jump or do anything in case I miscarry.”

“I know,” he reaches over and holds her hand. “You can take it easy and we don’t have to tell anyone why and when you start to get uncomfortable being in the field you can switch to desk duty… you can even help me hire your replacement and we need someone to still cover where Derek was before he took over for Dave.”

“Yeah… yeah that sounds doable,” she agrees, trying to hype herself up.

This is the furthest she’s ever gotten on the road to becoming a mom and it’s terrifying just how quickly it can be taken from her. She’s older than she thought she’d be when having her first baby but she’ll take it. She’s too excited while also terrified and in love with their baby and him and this whole situation. It’s perfect, no matter how scary it is. It’s perfect.

“I can’t believe it’s happening,” she admits with tears in her eyes. “We did it.”

“You’re the one doing it,” he reminds her. “you’re spectacular, you’re going to be a fantastic mom, this is all about you. I’m going to make sure you feel as special as I know you are, the whole time.”

“Aaron,” she whines, eyes welling with tears. “God, I’m already so emotional I’m not even that pregnant?”

“It’s been almost a month, hasn’t it?” He asks, “If you don’t mind me asking… when was your last period?”

“When we were on the Nina Freeman case… I had it when my divorce was final, it didn’t last that long so… oh my god I was in my fertile window when we had sex in the shower?”

“And then 3 more times the following day,” he brags, smug as hell. “And then a few more times these last 3 weeks…”

Thinking back to it, this is the most fun she’s had in years. This is how it was always meant to be. “I’m probably 4 or 5 weeks pregnant… no wonder I’ve been so tired and horny and why jacks dinner made me want to barf last night.”

“I knew it,” Aaron teases, pulling into a parking spot at Quantico, he throws the SUV in park and turns to her. “I knew you didn’t want to sleep over for a reason.”

“I’m so used to taking the tests all alone and doing all the work that I just resorted back to my normal routine and it made me really sad,” she admits. “I never want to do anything without you.”

“I never want you to do anything alone ever again,” he reaches out to hold her hand, brings it to his lips and kisses her knuckles. “You’re mine forever now, I’m not going to let you feel lonely ever again.”

General Taglist

@ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @reidsbookclub @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129 @squishyturtle @katsukis1wife @babybisexual @marsmunson86

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#aaron hotchner #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch x you #hotch smut #hotch x reader #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine

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