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di-writes-stuff · 6 months

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The Story Of Us

Alex Keller x Reader

One Shot

TW: Mentions of d€ath, alcohol consumption, arguing. Light stuff compared to most of my shit.

“Now I’m standing alone, in a crowded room, and we’re not speaking.”

You and Alex were…well, you and Alex. Close, too close by military standards, but neither of you ever cared too much about that. Just enough not to cross that line. Not to start something that could never continue.

Then again, it’s not like you hadn’t ever thought about it.

Either way, you two didn’t really fight, ever. You didn’t have a reason to until he took whatever you are a step too far. Abused his ranking as your Lieutenant.

The mission was important, dangerous too, and you were on it. At least, you were supposed to be. That is until he pulled you out, replaced you with some rookie who did a worse job then you ever would.

His excuse still burns in the back of your head, the few words he was able to get out before you slammed your door in his face with a stern “Go to hell.”

“I just wanted to keep you safe.”

You sigh, liquor stinging your throat as you remember that one sentence. It was easier to be mad at him before he said that. It’s not like you’re not still upset, but you can’t help the way his softly whispered apologies through the door loop in your mind like a scratched vinyl.

He just…he knew. He knew how important it was. And he knows how good you are, everybody knows how good you are. That’s why you got assigned to that job in the first place. And it’s not as if Alex disagreed. In fact, he knows better than anybody how much you could’ve handled it.

It wasn’t that he doubted you. It was fear. Pure, burning hot fear that you wouldn’t come back from this one. That you wouldn’t come back to him. In his mind, he couldn’t not do something. He couldn’t see your name on that list, the list that might as well have been a death sentence, and just leave it there.

He might as well have just killed you himself. And, in a way, he was right. Somebody died on that job. And not some rookie, this guy knew what he was doing. And still, a folded up flag was sent to a widows home in exchange for her husband, for her daughters father.

There was never a chance in hell Alex would let that flag replace you.

He wouldn’t.

No.

He couldn’t.

Although, it didn’t seem to matter much to you, seeing as you hadn’t spoken to him since the incident. It wasn’t his place to make that choice for you. You agreed to that mission knowing exactly what it entailed. Death is a part of the job, always has been, always will be. He can’t change that, so all that’ll happen is he’ll limit you, and you’ll resent the hell out of him for it.

To make matters worse, Alex decided to pull this shit right before the big, miserable, military ball. The night you planned on spending with him, judging all the rookie douchebags before sneaking out as soon as you can, hopefully with a snagged bottle of tequila in tow.

Instead your standing alone, leaned against the cold marble of the bar top, forcing the grimace off your face as the vodka burns all the way down your throat. Your dress is a little too tight, along with the heels on your feet that have grown far too used to nothing but combat boots.

In short, you feel like shit.

Even more so when the person you’ve been avoiding (and missing) for the past few weeks sidles up to you at the bar, sliding over a ten as you order yet another overpriced drink.

You were hoping to forget about the whole thing, but the blonde next to you clearly has other plans. “On me.” He says simply, flashing a grin at the bartender that has her blushing and turning away sheepishly in about a second.

The worst part is, he doesn’t even mean to do it. It’s just…him. He’s charismatic, handsome, sweet, charming, everything that made you see him as more than just a comrade.

Right now, he’s also an asshole, but you’re having a hard time remembering that when he’s looking at you the way he is. The smile he usually has on his face is gone the second he sees the scowl on yours, blue eyes softening with guilt as his shoulders sag.

Fuck, he’s handsome. His suit jacket was abandoned a while ago, and the bow he always complains about at these events is untied to allow him to undo the top few buttons of his shirt. His sleeves are rolled up to his biceps, tattoos on display in a way that makes stuffy trophy wives passing by scoff.

Your momentary distraction gives Alex a second to look you up and down, and he’d happily spend the rest of his life soaking in the view in front of him if he could. You look beautiful, you always do in his eyes, but especially tonight. The makeup you’re wearing isn’t too overpowering, not hiding any of the face he’s grown to adore so much.

Despite the way your anger weakens at the sight of his face, you manage to think up a spiteful response. “First I can’t do my job, now I can’t buy my own drinks either.” You turn to look him in the eyes the glare that never seems to leave your face these days piercing into him.

The sigh that leaves his lips is prominent. It’s not like he thought you’d just get over it, but God, he hates being on your bad side. Not just because it takes so damn long to get off it, but cause it’s you. “Y/N…” He starts before getting cut off again.

“Oh don’t you worry Alex, I’m just glad I have a big, strong man around to take care of me. I mean, whatever would I do without you?” Your voice is flat, yet dripping with sarcasm as you down the shot he paid for. All the while he tries to ignore the way his breath hitches in his throat at hearing his name from your mouth for the first time since this all happened.

He reaches up, running an exasperated hand over his face. He knew you would be mad of course, but he didn’t exactly plan on how to deal with it. He just…acted. It was a panic response, the only thing he could think to do that would keep you safe. Keep you alive.

“It’s not about that and you know it. I don’t think you need protection, and I definitely don’t think you need me.” He answers, keeping his voice low to avoid causing a scene.

If it weren’t for the topic, the situation would feel awfully familiar. You and Alex at a bar, his voice quiet next to you, saying just the right things to get you to blush, his flirtation making your knees go weak as you try not to choke on your drink.

You hate how much you miss it, just after a few weeks.

You hate even more that this is happening instead.

You turn to face him, something a little more than anger in your eyes. The kind of hurt that only comes around when it’s dealt by someone you love. The kind that makes your body shake with the weight of it. “If I don’t need protection, why the hell did you do it?” You ask, cursing the way your voice wavers at the look in his eyes.

Love, or something close, anyway. It’s dappled with guilt, juxtaposed by the knowledge that he’d do it again if he had to.

Something in him snaps at your words as he whips around to face you with his whole body. “Because it wasn’t just about you, Y/N. I’m sorry for hurting you, I really am, okay? I know you’re capable, more than most the guys we’ve got out in the field. I know. But I couldn’t do nothing, I couldn’t let you go knowing at least one person probably wasn’t coming back.”

“Knowing that one person might be you. I lo…I care, about you, I won’t apologize for that. I won’t apologize for keeping you alive.” His voice shakes as he prays you didn’t hear it. That little slip. The beginnings of a phrase that’s all but banned between soldiers.

I love you.

You didn’t miss it. Of course you didn’t. How could you when you’ve been waiting years to hear it? Hear those three words slip from his mouth, the ones that you’ll never be brave enough to say first.

Now’s not the time to mention that, you both know it, but he started a fire inside you, one that’ll need more fuel sooner or later.

“You can’t always keep me safe, Alex.” Softness creeps into the edges of your voice as you answer, anger draining from your body like glass through a tire.

He doesn’t think anything’s ever hurt more than that one sentence. He was always going to have to face it, some day, at some point.

But now?

That, he wasn’t ready for. “I know.” His voice is barely a whisper when he responds. There’s a pregnant pause before he adds on:

“Doesn’t mean I won’t try.”

You quickly lose the fight to keep a small smile off your face at his words. You should’ve expected it from him. Stubborn, dedicated, loyal Alex. All the things that drive you crazy about him. They’re the same ones that make you love him, too.

Your fingers brush as you breathe out before responding.

“I’m serious, Alex. Never again. You don’t decide what I can and can’t handle.” Any attempt at sounding serious is quickly washed away as his hand slips around yours, grasping it softly.

Although, he’s still taking it to heart. He’s still listening, that much you can tell. Despite the way you, much like the bartender, blush as the beginnings of a smirk from on his face.

And despite the way he slowly inches closer to you.

Despite the way you lean into the circle of gravity that seemed to exist around him, you like the moon orbiting around the earth.

Despite the way his hands slowly sliding onto your hips send shivers running up your spine.

Despite the way your lips are mere inches apart, the liquor you’d both been consuming to forget now working to dampen your judgment.

Despite all that, he still makes sure to answer before his lips press against yours, a smile spreading across your lips to mirror the one on his own.

“Yes ma’am.”

A/N: okay this is a wee bit cheesy, cant lie, think i wrapped it up to fast at the end, but i still like it. figured it was only proper for me to write something for the love of my life before cod 3 drops. enjoy, girlypops.

(also i promise i’m working on part 2 of cowboy like me for any arthur enjoyers out there.)

- di <3

#fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic writer #self insert fanfiction #fanfiction writer #alex keller x reader #alex keller x you #alex keller x y/n #alex keller #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #COD #cod mw #alex keller cod #call of duty fanfic #cod fanfic

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formulakatya · 1 year

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TWO WORLDS | MICK SCHUMACHER

“it’s astronomy, we’re two worlds apart”

not my gif :)

summary: where you and mick are childhood best friends and grew up in racing together, and yet mick made it to formula one with nothing but love and admiration from everyone and you left the sport with nothing but scars

pairing: mick schumacher x ex driver!reader

notes: i’m probably going to make a part 2, loosely based off ‘astronomy’ by conan gray and that one line from ‘daylight’ by david kushner, unedited (sorry)

warnings: a little angsty but it kinda gets better, slight talks about mental health issues and struggles, slight implications of struggles with eating, slight implications of self-destructive behaviours

—

switzerland always held a special place in your heart. it was your home country after all, having grown up in geneva. and despite having moved to england for university, you still made a point to come back ever so often to visit your family and friends— and most importantly, spend time with your dogs.

and, with christmas just around the corner, it was no surprise that you were back, happy to carry out the christmas traditions you’ve always loved. which was precisely why you were in your childhood bedroom.

sitting on the edge of the bed, you took in the memories and nostalgia which never failed to wash over you every time you stepped into room as you glanced around, each object in your room giving you reminders and memories of the past. each flag and poster on your wall had a specific sentiment attached to it, as did the picture frames and polaroids.

the red ferrari flag that hung on your wall served as the most important reminder of your past woes in racing— it’s iconic prancing horse staring at you almost in mockery for your failure in achieving your dreams whilst the very same people you competed with had, or were at least on their way to achieving.

glancing to your bedside table, you let out a sigh upon seeing the picture frame, picking it up and clearing the dust away. the frame was old, so was the picture inside of it, yet, you still remember it like it all happened yesterday.

“micky!” you exclaimed, glad to see your best friend again, letting out a smile. “how are you? how was italy?”

“it was so fun! i got you a gift as well! i’ll give it to you when you come over later!” he smiled, “i got to visit maranello and the ferrari museum! it was so cool!”

“lucky…” you pouted, “i really want to race for ferrari one day! i’ll get to formula one, race for ferrari and win 10 championships! i’ll beat your dad’s record!”

“not if i do it first,” he let out a laugh, “we’ll both get to formula 1 and we’ll be teammates in ferrari!”

“and we’ll be the best duo on the grid!”

“obviously.”

tears welled up in your eyes as you stared at the picture frame next to your bed, the memories with your ex-best friend coming back to you. the thought of all the plans you had made with each other, from travelling over the world together when you’d grow up to getting to the pinnacle of motorsport and driving next to each other.

both of you had big dreams, for yourselves and for each other, and yet you two had fallen out.

of course you still sent him congratulatory messages whenever he would have a good race and he would still occasionally text you to check up on you, but other than that, there was nothing.

you had went from best friends to almost strangers.

sometimes you find yourself reminiscing about the past and couldn’t help but wonder if he was still the person you remembered him being. and sometimes, you couldn’t help but feel jealous.

you two had gone down the same path— starting your karting journey at the same track, going up to formula 4 at the same time, going to formula 3 together with the same team— and yet he had made it to formula 1 and you were left with nothing but with a mix of memories and a wound that would never stop bleeding.

of course, you had some regrets in leaving the sport, but at the end of the day, you would probably have more regrets in staying in it. it was the fact that you could do it but didn’t and the regret and guilt would haunt you forever. but, at the same time, you were glad that you had stopped.

good memories had been made; the feeling of adrenaline as you battled wheel-to-wheel, the joy being on the top step and the thrill of simply racing would be something you would miss forever.

but the bad had overrode the good.

watching what you ate to make sure you could be as light as you could be just to cut down times for each sector. the constant feeling of never being good enough and expectations for you that were always twice as high as everyone’s. the guilt that would follow you everyday if you didn’t train until you felt like collapsing.

everything you did was for love. everything you did was for victory. everything you did was for excellence. everything you did destroyed yourself inside out.

hearing a knock on the door, your reverie had been broke as you put the picture back in its original place, getting up to open the door. freezing the minute you heard the familiar voices from downstairs, you hesitated for a while before putting your hand on the door knob.

“hi, (y/n)!” the german smiled, “your mum told me to get you for dinner and then we can do some baking!”

it was as if you were kids again the way he had greeted you, and if you had to be honest, your heart ached at the strong possibly your relationship would never return to that.

“don’t tell me you forgot who i was.”

“never, mick,” you couldn’t help but smile as he brought you into a hug. “how could i?”

for that split second, it felt as if you guys were as close as before. unfortunately, your brain was quick to take over your heart as you made your way down.

you hated how your heart would still skip a beat whenever you saw him, you hated how he always made you smile and you hated how you couldn’t help but long for his company.

“hi,” you smiled, taking your seat at the table which was opposite mick’s, taking a look of the food in front of you.

“how have you been, (y/n)? it’s been so long!” corinna smiled, “how’s your engineering degree going?”

“wait, you’re doing an engineering degree?” mick asked, looking to see if anyone was as surprised. “what happened to racing? i thought you were going to elms?”

forcing a smile, you let out a small chuckle, “yeah, i’m doing an engineering degree.”

“oh…okay.”

the dinner table was filled with laughter and chatter, the awkwardness long forgotten as everyone cracked jokes and caught up with one another. your spirits lifted as you talked to gina as you caught each other and talked about horse riding.

that was at least until your dad had asked mick about formula 1.

“…yeah, formula 1’s been going great, i can’t wait to join ferrari next season…”

as much as you tried to sit through the entire conversation as everyone joined in, you simply couldn’t take it anymore as everything came back to you along with all sorts of emotions. averting your eyes to the garden, you were quick to excuse yourself from the dinner table.

sitting outside, away from the sight of anyone, the emotions came like a tidal wave and it wasn’t too long until you found yourself crying silently— out of misery and sadness for your failed dreams with a side of jealousy and anger at yourself.

“(y/n)?”

“go away, mick,” you let out a sigh, recognising his voice.

“what’s wrong? you can tell me,” he comforted, taking a seat next to you.

“you wouldn’t get it.”

“just tell me.”

putting his arm around you, mick pulled you closer to him. “please, just tell me, i hate seeing you like this. i know we haven’t talked in a while, and we’re probably not as close as we were but please tell me.”

letting out a sigh, you wiped your tears. “it’s just…it’s just unfair. god, it’s so stupid.”

it didn’t take a while for mick to pick up on what you were upset about as he quickly put the pieces together, “i’m sorry i didn’t notice what was going on back then. i failed to look out for you. i should’ve realised and been there for you.”

“it wasn’t your responsibility anyways, mick.”

“when you love someone, it’s your responsibility.”

#f1 fic #f1 fiction #formula 1 fic #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #mick schumacher fluff #mick schumacher x reader #mick schumacher x you #mick schumacher imagine #mick schumacher fic #mick schumacher angst #mick schumacher blurb #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #f1 fic recc #f1 fic rec

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greenplumbboblover · 9 months

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First off... Time for some celebration!

Simblr.cc Now has 100th Members! 🎉 It may not seem as much, but we all start somewhere! :)

Thank you so much for believing in the project, and especially the people who have already uploaded or posted some awesome content!

And with that... I guess? Presents? (Unintentionally lol)

✨New Features!✨

More big features have been added! Quick TL;DR:

Dead Site repository (See: https://simblr.cc/deadsites/)

User Images (Tab under each download)

Import from Tumblr has been improved!

Queue moderation is currently turned off, to see if that fits the website better. (Though, that doesn't mean I won't check it for any naughty posts that weren't flagged as nsfw! 😉)

You can now browse per Project, rather than All items. (Thanks @nornities for the suggestion!)

Import from Tumblr

(See: https://simblr.cc/import/sites/mod/)

It still may be a little finicky! But while it works most of the time, having more people giving it a try would really help out! :)

Since most themes are different, it could mean that there needs to be a special case written for it.

So anyone whose willing to help out by importing from their tumblr, would be incredibly helpful! (and sending any errors over on discord: https://discord.gg/X9cUPZUdZT

Dead Site Repository

The Repository:

For more moderation-y purposes, you'll have to contact me first on creating a new repository. This way, I can double-check that the site is actually down.

What counts as a dead site:

An actually offline website (assuming it's been down for at least a few weeks minimum

A tumblr User's page that no longer exist.

A Tumblr User that does exist, but has deleted all their mediafire/simfileshare/dropbox/etc downloads.

Anything along the lines above ;)

Collections:

Allright, so you got yourself a Repository going... But what then?

Well, if there aren't any collections as of yet, feel free to create one before uploading! :) Make sure that the following is done:

The collection name is accurate to the package file(s)

This would mean, that if it comes from a "Set" (Let's say, a "TS2 > TS4 conversion set) , that you'd label it as such.

If you don't know if it's from a set (or it isn't to begin with) then make sure it's something as clear as "Hair" or "Seating" or "Kitchen".

Now you can add the files (and if you like, images)

Image:

They aren't mandatory, but a good idea if you can! :) It adds a bit of visualisation to the person who eventually is downloading the package.

User Images

What's this?

If you're familiar with Nexus, this may seem familiar to you.

You can now share your in-game images of a specific mod with the creator. (and the rest of the world) :p However, the creator will have to approve your images first. (In case of trolls...)

Creators:

Can turn off submission of images.

Approve/reject these images.

Get notifications IF someone submitted an image.

Browsing Projects

A new setting has appeared! It's the "Projects only" checkbox!

(Sorry for the crappy circle lol)

For Project Owners:

Projects now also have "Cover Images" if you set them of course :)

Just go over to your Projects Page (https://simblr.cc/profile/projects/)

And click your project.

From there you should see under "Edit Project" (corner top right) in the modal a way to add it :)

#simblr #simblr.cc #sims 3 #the sims 4 #sims 4 #ts4 #the sims 3 #ts3 #the sims 2 #sims 2 #ts2 #the sims 1 #sims 1 #ts1 #the sims medieval #sims medieval #tsm #the sims

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ca77um-ilo77 · 5 months

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alright you have me convinced!! what should i know before i watch indycar next season??

yooo i'm so glad i convinced you!! this is a pretty long post, and is kind of all-over the place. i tried to break it up by general topic, but i'm adding randomly as i think, so just a warning. i'll add some info links i like at the bottom. (if you or anyone wants to talk indy or f1, asks or dms are so very welcome, i love making friends <3)

one thing about indy is unlike in basically every else, many cars look very different even when on the same team as well as special liveries that are nothing like their normal ones, so i'd recommend getting the indycar app (it's free and user friendly once you figure out the weird layout) as it has a spotter's guide. it also has onboard cameras and radios for free (!!!!).

indycar is (usually) a pretty friendly sport, but as is the case with american sports, we like chaos, so the drivers can pretty much say anything except swear words lol. there's a few different clips of drivers threatening each other, which is great. id say most drivers are friends or at least acquaintances, expect santino ferrucci (huge bigot, pay driver, got kicked out of f2 for extremely dirty driving, and i personally hate his hair) and often romain grosjean as he hits people a lot. as for 2024 rookies, kyffin simpson's dad bought him his seat, and kyle larson saying the n-word in 2020 means he has some really, really racist fans.

the safety rules are strict and the cars are very durable which is good for high-speed crashes. the safety people (shoutout amr indycar safety team i love y'all, amr the company i hate you more than i hate the fia) travel with the races and have extensive training. they are also stationed in places that allow quick access to any location on a track. this is most apparent at ovals as they are much faster and more dangerous. at the other races, they are stationed where there is higher likelihood for a more dangerous crash that needs faster reactions. they take trucks to the site that are full of basically anything that might be needed. this is especially important as indycar refuels and are at high risk of combustion compared to f1. the calling yellow flags is also a lot more liberal which is nice. during longer yellows, and reds at ovals they'll run a sweeper truck to clean the racing line so people don't slide into walls.

for flag code info, as i don't have the patience to write it out, it is is section 7.2 of the rule book (page 27). i've linked it at the bottom of the post.

with the cars, they're all required to have the same chassis and aren't allowed to change a huge amount, so the racing is mostly down to skill, though andretti, ganassi, penske, and mclaren are better as they have more money. there are two engine suppliers, honda and chevrolet, iirc (don't quote me here) chevy is a bit more powerful, but honda is a bit more handleable. fast pit stops are usually about 7 seconds due to smaller pit crews (7 people maximum) and refueling. each car also has it's own pit box as teams have variable car numbers based on what they can afford. firestone provides tires, and there are two compounds, primary and alternate, as well as a wet tire. primaries are the harder compound and have a black sidewall. alternates are softer and have a red sidewall, except at street circuits where it's green to signify all natural rubber. use of both compounds are required. on broadcast you'll hear them mention "sticker reds" which are just the brand new ones.

more tire info in section 15 of the rulebook (page 84). there's some complex rules if you like tires.

the biggest difference between indy cars and f1 is f1 has power steering, indy doesn't. if you watch onboards, the drivers are wrestling the car the whole time, and most of the racing comes down to skill. the actual racing is often chaotic (indycar app helps with this. i keep it open always) and since there are many pit stops in a race (the cars use a lot of fuel) the leaderboard will change a lot.

the points system is very different, i'll try to cover it as succinctly as i can but i'm going to put a link for the wiki on it at the bottom anyway. (this is going to be formatted real weird, but i want to be brief). p1 50; p2 40; p3 35; p4 32; 4th-10th decreases by 2; p10 20; 10th-25th decreases by 1; everything p25 down is 5 points. drivers get points for finishing the race, basically. (unless there's more than 33 finishers, then 34 down get nothing, but that doesn't really happen). there's some bonus points also, 1 for leading a lap, 2 for most laps led, and 1 for pole position. the final bonus is for indy 500 qualifying. top 12 get points from p1 getting 12, descending by 1, to p12 getting 1.

as for the circuits there's three types: ovals (6 races, 4 tracks), roads (6 races, +1 non-championship race), and street (5 races). ovals are very high speed with little to no breaking. road courses are just your average circuit made for racing, the roads tend to be a bit rougher than f1's but that's kinda just how american tracks are. street circuits are, well, on the street. american roads suck major dick. the smoothest indycar street circuit is comparable to the worst of f1's. very bumpy, usually some good crashes (watch 2023 st. petersburg start. shit was insane).

as a fan, i cannot recommend irl indy more. some races are busier than others, obviously, but it's cheap considering it's a big racing category. 3 day entry for the less major races is usually $60-ish, and paddock passes are an additional $120-ish. not 100% on the price for pit access, but that is a bundle with three day tickets usually. the races aren't super crowded and there isn't assigned seats which is nice. the paddock is super open (check my "fenrir indycar" tag, quick access on my pinned) and you are able to walk up to and touch the cars if you really want (i wouldn't) as well as have conversation with engineers if they're not busy. if you have pit access the drivers are usually just wandering around and are often happy to stop and talk/sign something when not busy. there's also a high risk of nearly getting run over by drivers on their scooters. will power is notorious for this.

for my non-americans, (love y'all) we are very happy to have a conversation with strangers. the indy fans are often thrilled to talk about their favorite drivers and thoughts with anyone. when i went id say the only bad experiences i had was getting overwhelmed (my fault, i went to a place that i knew would cause a meltdown) and my dad getting hit twice by a man in a golf cart twice (same guy, not my dad's fault, the cunt didn't try to move, warn him, or apologize, just hit him, let my dad stumble, hit him again. i'm still mad). the seats are usually right on the track, so it's extremely loud and smelly. 10/10 can not recommend irl indy enough. i am biased to the pnw and it's the only race i've been to, but the portland race is great. it's not got masses of people, you can walk right up to the track to watch with the only thing between you and the cars being a concrete wall and a fence, and as it's a smaller race with less fans compared to the east coast and mid-west races, it's cheaper. biggest con is its built on a swamp, so super humid. (another pro, i'll be there <3 [joke.])

any questions you've got or clarification needed, my notifications are on and i'll respond to relevant stuff as soon as i see it.

LINKS:

rule book (clicking on a section of the table of contents will take you there)

points format wiki

schedule (tickets can be bought here)

app link

2024 series wiki (so helpful)

#f1 #indycar #fenrir indycar #indy 500 #2023 indycar #2024 indycar #formula 1 #anti santino ferrucci #portland indycar #ask #anonymous #anon

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theconstitutionisgayculture · 3 months

Note

Maybe I'm just silly optimist but I'm excited for the live action Avatar and I really, really want it to be good. I don't want it to be too similar to the cartoon, I just want it to be enjoyable. I'm trying to reserve judgement until it premiers instead of fixating on the attention-grabbing clips from articles and headlines. What I'm most concerned about is the acting. From the clips I've seen, the line deliveries were not great, which pains me to say because the younger actors are adorable and very likable. In interviews they talk about being avid fans of the original show and want to do their characters justice. What a refreshing tone from writers and actors from other adaptations who loathe the source material and want to change it to Reflect the Modern World (TM).

I mean, the actor for Sokka already said they changed Sokka's character to be less "sexist", so that's at least one change to reflect the modern world. And I can't imagine that's the only one. The GoT comparisons worry me though, because every single show I've seen that compares itself to GoT ends up being trash, doubly so if it's an adaptation *cough*ringsofgirlpower*cough*.

I did notice what you did about the delivery, though. A lot of the lines sounded off, which is excusable in the actor playing Aang because I'd argue finding a kid who looks the part and can do martial arts is more important than finding a kid with the acting chops of Marlon Brando. But all the main actors had weird deliveries. I hope that ends up being the worst part, because Netflix has been doing decently with live action adaptations lately and it would be nice if someone out there finally got how an adaptation is supposed to work. But there are enough red flags that I'm expecting more Cowboy Bebop and less One Piece from this.

I wouldn't mind being wrong though.

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awalkingballofanxiety · 29 days

Text

Spoilers Below

This episode had a lot of stuff in it and was absolutely amazing. There’s also a lot of stuff that needs to be talked about. Before I continue, these are just my first impressions and I haven’t been able to go back and fully analyze the episode, so it’s very possible I say something dumb because I missed some important back ground detail.

Tessa

Ok, first things first, guess we finally learned what the solver meant by not discarding Tessa. Kudos to those that were able to see through that tinted mask and see her for what she was. This episodes end reveal was awesome, and all the foreshadowing for it was just as good. I’m not gonna talk about any in episode 6 since most of it went over my head, instead I’ll focus on the stuff in this episode before the reveal, at least the stuff I picked up on. The second I realized it was Tessa was when Nori asked which host was attacking, because we already saw that Doll and Uzi were currently doing their own thing. Then, her being noninteractable with Uzi’s solver was adding the final red flag for Tessa being Cyn. All of it was super cool and I can’t wait to see what happens with her in the finale.

Uzi’s Battle

This was really cool, that’s it. Especially since the focus for the acrylic stand is probably going to be the focus on the internal battle within Uzi, and also probably means that the last stand is probably going to be N against Tessa/Cyn.

Khan, Lizzy, and Thad

They’re back and are definitely going to play an important role in the finale, probably doing something with J. Also, I love Khan’s character arc. He went from leaving Uzi for dead in the pilot, to realizing he was a bad parent in episode 2, then he tried to get more involved in episode 3 but still stands by and watches the fight with Doll (I know the doors were locked, but he didn’t even come to check on Uzi after the fight). In episode 4, he’s more accepting of Uzi and all her quirks than he is in episode 3, and then in episode 5 he is actively getting involved and showing concern. It only feels fitting that all this growth culminates in him trusting Uzi, in a scene that will probably mirror that of the pilot, where he uses the railgun he made to save Uzi instead of running away again. The thought of this confrontation made me toy with idea of the last stand just being Khan blasting Cyn away, but it’s probably going to N and some external threat. I don’t know what’s gonna happen with Lizzy and Thad, but it’s cool that they’re there too, maybe Thad will fight a murder drone and get to actually win and have a moment of triumph to contrast losing to V in the pilot.

Nori and Yeva

I don’t actually know what to say about these two after the episode. My first thought after seeing Nori come back was that Yeva could potentially return, but then I remembered that her rusting corpse is in Doll’s house. But still, her relationship with Nori before the core collapse was still interesting, it looked she was kind of used to keep her in line and combat the solver whenever it got too far out of line. Also, Nori will probably return, if Uzi was shown in the void at the end then Nori is probably just floating around in there too and will probably bump into Uzi at the end.

The weird religious/science stuff happening

Chances are, if we learn more about this, it’s going to be from flashbacks on account of Tessa burning everything. We saw that Nori was kind of the main thing being monitored, which makes me wonder what the numbers were for and why she was number 2. My first guess is that maybe it’s the order that the solver prioritizes controlling a host, with Nori being first in line and that’s why she’s the one on full lockdown, and probably why the Yeva was the one called to fight her, she’s got a higher number so she’s probably the least likely to just suddenly have lost control. I still think that half the drones didn’t have the solver, probably the odd numbered drones.

That’s all I have to say for now, these are just first impressions and aren’t fully developed thoughts or theories yet. I will probably have a lot more to say on a couple of those topics, but I don’t want to just start spewing half baked theories without doing actual analysis for the sake of sounding smart. This was a really good episode and I can’t wait to see what happens next.

#murder drones #murder drones theory #murder drones ep 7 #heavy spoilers

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do-it-for-the-fandom · 11 months

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Pls ramble for hours about your thought about season 3 caskett!!

Okay, just remember… you asked for this 🤣 Just to keep it clear in my mind I’ll go through episode by episode (thanks to Wikipedia for their handy dandy episodes lists that I refer to almost daily at this point, I swear).

I’ve been going through season 2 and 3 with a very critical eye in regards to Castle/Beckett interactions while in relationships with other people for a fic I’m working on so you might think some of this is very nitpicking (and tbh it probably is) but this is all based on a conversation I had with a friend where we discussed “if our significant other did these things, would be be okay with that?” and - spoiler alert - I’d like my partners goo-goo eyes to be aimed at me not the pretty ladies he works with 🤣

Anyway, here it is: my rambling about the ‘blurred lines’ and slightly questionable behaviour (most of which would be fine if it weren’t for the “they’re madly in love with one another but deeply in denial” of it all, you know?)

I know I said season 3 Caskett but we need to take a quick journey back to season 2 just for some background information. There is an important scene in season 2 that set us up for season 3 (in my opinion). It was like a little sprinkling that softened the “bad behaviour” of our favourites.

In 2x22 Food to Die For, Cecily (the victim’s ‘friend’) says “You have no idea how hard it is to love someone knowing they’re gonna break your heart.” and there is a look of understanding on Beckett’s face as she processes these words, as if she does know how hard it is.

Later, Beckett and Castle have a conversation about Wolf (the victim) and Cecily. It goes a little like this:

Castle: You ask me... she should've followed her heart-- left David, gone with Wolf.

Beckett: You know, I can see the virtue in staying. I mean, guys like Wolf, they come in, they upset the apple cart. Of course he makes you feel alive, but eventually, you know he's just gonna let you down. So why risk it?

Castle: Because the heart wants what it wants.

We learn two things from this conversation.

1. Beckett obviously relates to Cecily’s situation and - given what we can see from her interactions with Castle throughout this season vs her interactions with Demming (her boyfriend at the time) - it’s safe to say Demming isn’t her Wolf, Castle is.

2. Castle is a ‘hopeless romantic’. He can (and will) justify anything if it is in the name of love.

In the season 2 finale, Beckett was willing to take the risk, though. She left her David, her safe option, to pursue what the heart wants and it backfired before she even got that far! Beckett is guarded; she won’t let herself make that mistake again.

Then we get to season 3 and the red flags start popping up left, right and centre.

Beckett is still upset at Castle - but mostly at herself because she’s the one that allowed herself to think Castle wouldn’t break her heart. Castle makes his way back onto the team under the promise that it’s just one case, then a bet is made that if he solves the case first he can come back more permanently. In the end we find out (or, at least, it’s heavily implied - I cant 100% recall) that Beckett purposely lets Castle win so that he can come back.

Mistake number 1. If she really intended on ‘moving on’, she never should have let Castle back. Obviously she’s under the impression that they can be friends but she’s already lying to herself 🚩and that is a slippery slope. It also doesn’t take her very long to fall back into the habit of teasing and flirting with him which I’m also torn about. It can’t really be classed as harmless flirting, right, when there’s underlying feelings? But given that this has always been their ‘thing’, I do tend to overlook that.

My first major issue comes with episode 3x03 Under The Gun when we are introduced to Royce. There’s history there, a lot of great memories, I get it: she’s happy to see her training officer again!

Then things get a little personal; she had a crush on him, maybe he had feelings for her back in the day too, they have a moment.

And then he betrays her.

I’m feeling sorry for her right now, like… girl, do you need a hug?

Anyways, my 🚩🚩🚩 is that Josh is introduced to us (and the team) in literally the next episode. And not just mentioned in passing - he comes to the precinct! That doesn’t seem very “we’ve only been dating for a week” of him.

Throwback to before Ryan introduced Jenny to the team, Beckett said “I wouldn’t bring my boyfriend here.” and although Josh’s visit wasn’t planned, she also didn’t seem too bothered by his presence there.

My theory is she met Josh over the summer (while Castle was away), probably introduced by a mutual friend and it may have been a slow start/super casual thing at first that became more once Castle was back at the precinct. Maybe Josh wanted more from the beginning, but Beckett held back? Maybe Royce’s betrayal was the push she needed?

Because she’s been burned twice in such a short time; and here is this man - a young, handsome doctor who keeps just busy enough to not demand too much of her in her vulnerable state - that is into her and she’s into him. He’s interesting, he’s ambitious and passionate and there is definite potential for this to be love so, why not? He can be her safe option.

But, I don’t know, Josh’s “Kate hasn’t told you about me, has she?” just makes me feel like the relationship isn’t all that new, you know? So the Josh/Royce timeline does make me wonder.

Also, Castle went home that night and even Alexis said he was ‘distracted’ and seemed down. Like, you’re with Gina dude, why does Beckett having a boyfriend bother you? 🚩

In 3x05 Anatomy of a Murder, things seem to be fine again. Josh apparently is an effective distraction, Castle has his little fight with Gina but they make up and everything is all fairly neutral until Beckett and Castle are going through the love letters and Castle reads out the “I love you” line. They both have a very guilty kind of reaction to that. Why? Because they both obviously feel something, otherwise it would be a laughable moment.

And then Castle is all goo-goo eyes when Beckett says she’d get him out of prison, because his mother said that’s a sign of true love? Tell me you’re not in love with the person you’re dating without telling me you’re not in love with the person you’re dating. #poorGina. Now, I’m not saying you have to be in love right away… but when you’re going for shot #2 with your ex-wife you’d think after several months (or however long it’s been at this point) you’d be a little more committed. Idk, maybe that’s just me.

They have that moment after Jerry Tyson gets away but I really think that’s just a genuine moment of comfort and friendship. I think it’s really sweet.

I think that while Beckett’s relationship with Josh is going well, everything stays fairly neutral. Nothing else really flags for me until 3x11 Nikki Heat. Beckett really struggles with her jealousy but I think that’s just her realising that those feelings are still there, which she obviously has to process and deal with. Also I don’t think we can deny that watching someone ‘become you’ would be hella weird.

Castle, however, doesn’t even try to hide how much he is enjoying Nikki Heat coming to life and the more Natalie tries to be Kate, the more Castle likes her. It’s a little… odd.

And when Natalie kisses him, it’s not rushed. He has plenty of time to stop it but he doesn’t. His little “Natalie, I…” isn’t good enough in my opinion. Like, poor Gina… again.

Even the next morning when Beckett is pissed because she thinks that Castle slept with Natalie, no one is thinking about HIS GIRLFRIEND in all of this. Beckett even asks him why he didn’t sleep with her and was the answer “because I’m in a relationship”? No. No it was not. *sigh*

3x12 Poof! You’re Dead is where the cracks really show between Castle and Gina; the fight, the ignored calls and eventually the break up. Good riddance, I say. Anyways… I just wanted to mention one little moment that sticks with me: when Beckett pickpockets Castle’s phone and is holding it up, then Gina calls and Castle hangs up - you can see that she’s like ‘wtf was that about’ but she doesn’t ask. Now either this is absolutely killing her but she’s setting boundaries OR she’s genuinely starting to move on (not as likely). Even when Lanie brings up Gina, Beckett is playful but as soon as the fight is mentioned she looks super uncomfortable. Kind of like she knows this might be the end for Castle and Gina, and she isn’t sure how to feel about that.

Side note: getting Edmund to dress up as dead Zalman is completely unhinged like who thought that was okay? Effective, yes. But so unhinged. Surely that had to be traumatising haha.

I won’t rehash my thoughts on the 3x13 kiss; if you need refreshing on my take here’s the post.

I will say that Castle in this episode - specifically during Vulcan Simmons’ interrogation - was so 😍😍. The way he was so fiercely protective of Beckett omg. And then admitting to Martha that “this isn’t about the books anymore” I squee like a 12-year-old girl.

every. damn. time.

In Beckett’s apartment when she asks “so why do you keep coming back, Rick?” like omg 😱 the tension, the hesitation, THE USE OF HIS FIRST NAME, the intensity in their eye contact.

He 100% should have told her then and there that he loved her.

She was practically begging him to, right?

Josh was in Africa, she was emotionally vulnerable, her life in danger… she wasn’t thinking straight. Not sure if she was testing herself or Castle, but his answer (aka his avoidance of confessing his feelings and instead just insisting that he is there for her) obviously passed the test.

Which is probably for the best. Because even if he had confessed his feelings, even if something had happened between them; it would have been too messy of a beginning for it to end well. It more than likely would have ruined everything so…

Anyways, I’m getting sidetracked.

The next case in 3x14 Lucky Stiff gives us yet another undercover side mission - aka, this iconic Caskett moment:

Like, girl 🥵 I can’t breathe why are you doing this? She is looking at him with pure lust in her eyes. It is sooooo unnecessary.

But I don’t mind this little flirty dance too much, I just brought it up because I wanted to use the GIFs 🤭

3x16 Setup and 3x17 Countdown Beckett is distracted and she is struggling, very obviously. Josh is leaving again, she doesn’t want him to go; it’s obvious that she sees this might be the beginning of the end for them. But it’s not because she doesn’t love him (I do believe that by this point she has very real feelings for him) but because I think she’s starting to recognise the same problems she has had in previous relationships - *cough* Sorensen *cough* - she doesn’t feel like a priority; once again she’s taken a back seat to the guys career.

Which does confuse me a little bit. I mean, Beckett wouldn’t put a man ahead of her career (and she doesn’t, we see that later on in the series) so I really don’t see her expecting someone to put her ahead of their career. Which makes me think that this wasn’t the real issue. My question is: does Beckett know that this wasn’t the real issue?

Maybe she just senses that something isn’t right and assumes that it is his leaving again? Or maybe she knows exactly why she is feeling this way - *cough* Castle *cough* - but doesn’t want to admit that to herself so she finds another excuse? Like, this is obviously an issue but is it the issue?

But omg was Beckett going to say “I love you” to Castle? I do find this totally plausible. Her relationship is on the rocks and she thinks that she is just moments from certain death; what has she got to lose?

Anyways, Josh chooses to stay and apparently that’s all Beckett needs to be reassured 🚩🚩🚩

Like, surely if she had gotten that close to saying those three words to Castle (which, I guess we don’t actually know if that’s what she was going to say, right?) she would see that her relationship with Josh wasn’t going to work.

Now, my friend and I actually disagreed on Beckett and Castle going to see a movie together at the end of 3x19 Law and Murder. I figured it was harmless enough, but he reminded me of my original point: can any of this be harmless when there’s underlying feelings? Where is the line between innocent and careless? Idk, I’m not sold either way on this one. Beckett is a nerd and was excited to let that inner nerd free; she probably didn’t tear her eyes away from the screen the entire time. Or, conversely, maybe she watched Castle the whole time, waiting to see if he shared her appreciation of the movie, heart filling with joy as she realised he loved the movie as much as she did.

Most importantly, I wonder; when Josh asked her how her night was, how much did she tell him?

Next, we have the Alex Conrad situation of 3x21 The Dead Pool. Castle was so mean to him and I felt bad for the poor guy; he was just trying to be like his favourite author! 😂 But we see Castle being quite possessive over Beckett which probably should be a red flag 🚩 but I loved it, I won’t lie.

The “I’m a one-writer girl” spiel started out fine, too but the long, yearning looks just really take the innocence out of it like just admit that you’re in love already, seriously.

And then we have LA…

Like, Beckett is distraught, right? She puts up a good front but she is reeling from Royce’s death. I don’t even want to think about how Royce being left to die in an alley would bring up so many memories of her mother’s murder, too! Montgomery gets it, he does what he needs to do.

And I fully understand that Castle - as a friend - wants to be there for her. He wants her to know that she’s not alone, that she has support. I’m not saying that he did anything wrong!

However… you could clearly see that he was all for crossing lines that night! He sat there waiting, hoping that she would change her mind!

She was vulnerable, he forced his way into her ‘vacation’ (that wasn’t fooling anyone) and insisted she stay with him. I just… idk. I believe that he should have been the one putting a stop to things here, you know? Like, now is not the time to make a move.

And our girl spent entirely too long standing on the other side of that door contemplating “do I or don’t I?”. And even if “think of Josh”, “you love Josh” or any sort of consideration for her boyfriend had crossed her mind - SHE OPENED THE DAMN DOOR!

What if Castle was still there? What would have happened? This was 120% too close a call.

Yes, I was there with literally every other Caskett fan when we were crying, screaming, pleading with our TV sets; “just do it!”. I can still hear the collective “noooooo!” when Castle’s door clicked shut, the millions of hearts that broke in the very moment.

But that doesn’t make their behaviour any less sketchy, just saying.

And then we have Beckett reading (for possibly the hundredth time) Royce’s letter. Refresher: in the letter, Royce comments on Beckett’s relationship with Castle and how it’s ‘real’ and she shouldn’t run from it (or fight it, I don’t remember exactly what he says). And you can see that she is taking these words to heart, really giving them a lot of consideration. And this is the letter that she read at the crime scene, so this ‘revelation’ (that she’s actually known for close to a year now) has been in the back of her mind this whole trip. Like, she’s so conflicted!

Call me crazy but I feel like that’s a pretty good sign that you should stop stringing along your boyfriend. I don’t know, just a thought. Anyways…

3x24 Knockout. The fight. The fight. Finally, they’re addressing the elephant in the room. Or, at least, they aren’t completely ignoring its existence.

“And what about you, Rick?”

“Is that what we are?”

“I don’t know what we are. We kiss, and then we never talk about it. We nearly die frozen in each other’s arms but we never talk about it. So, no, I got no clue what we are!”

“We’ve been madly in love but so deeply in denial that neither one of us knows what’s real anymore.”

Okay, so that last one wasn’t actually said but it’s still the truth.

At this point, I think Beckett realises that she can’t ‘have her cake and eat it too’. As long as Castle is in her life, she’s not going to be able to get past her feelings for him.

But she’s still not ready to take that risk again. She’s determined that her ‘safe choice’ is the only choice. That’s why she pushes him away. In the heat of the moment, she tells him they are done. But even once she cools down… she tells Montgomery she wants him gone, she ignores TWENTY THREE of Castle’s calls.

She’s finally made the decision she should have made months ago.

And if Montgomery didn’t bring Castle to the hangar, maybe she would have stuck to it. But, she also would have died either that night or at his funeral.

Anyways, this has accidentally turned into me convincing myself that their love for one another and their questionable decisions ultimately saved her. Every decision they made, every blurry line and questionable moment led them to that moment standing together at Montgomery’s funeral.

If that isn’t fate…

Anywho… for anyone who actually read this; let me know your thoughts! I’d love to hear other opinions.

Thank you to all the wonderful GIF makers for all the great GIFs. Appreciate your work!

#rant and ramble #castle season 3 #kate beckett #richard castle #my rambles

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marley-manson · 5 months

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gotta rant at least a little after watching those videos on james somerton lol

the thing that really gets me about somerton after watching both hbomberguy and todd in the shadows' videos, is that he had millions of views somehow??? tons of subscribers and patreon supporters? people respected him as an educator and expert on queer history?

idk i've seen posts that are like, 'oh the point is that plagiarism is insidious and rampant and you have to be vigilant' and like, sure, i'm sure youtube is full of plagiarism and bullshit and there are probably plenty of people who are better at hiding it, but for the record one quick and easy way to cut a big chunk of it out of your viewing experience is to like, simply not watch people who present themselves as important sources of information and eminently qualified to educate, and yet have no credentials and cite no sources as they state "facts." Not to mention the absolute statements, blatant appeals to emotion, and obviously biased opinions presented as fact.

like way too many people apparently watched him say that eg fitness became an obsession in america because americans were (homoerotically) jealous of nazis and didn't go 'uh wait what the fuck?' like, you don't need a solid basis of knowledge on the history of fitness to recognize that that's a bizarre claim.

I get maybe watching one or two of his videos and shrugging and taking his knowledge as fact I guess because you don't care enough to consider it, or respecting him without watching his videos and just assuming he knows his shit because others say so, but the idea of regularly watching him and being a fan is genuinely p baffling to me.

i've seen a lot of comments on those videos that were along the lines of 'wow i occasionally got bad/confusing vibes from somerton but i ignored that and watched anyway because he seemed smart, thanks for revealing all this' and like, oof. schools need to be teaching critical thinking skills man.

the other thing that floors me is how many viewers he had considering he has the most annoying speaking cadence i've ever heard lol, both when he's awkwardly stumbling over plagiarized paragraphs he didn't write and that weren't written to be read outloud, and when he's very smugly and overdramatically making shit up. iirc I watched part of one video of his ever (queer horror i think) and quit in like 5 minutes because I couldn't stand how he spoke. I might have different standards than many others, I'm sure there are people who can't stand the youtubers I watch, but I truly can't comprehend how millions of people sat through his videos. That Illuminaughty account too tbh, awful, awful presentation even without the plagiarism.

Idk, I hope people who were fans of his take this as a lesson for what red flags to watch out for in the future, at least.

#text post

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philosophicalparadox · 1 year

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Cough, it’s me, hi

Regarding our clown:

What kinks doesn’t he have? Where does he draw the line, as red as his red flags?

Thank you 💀❤️

He has his limitations. He's rather keen on keeping clean, so I suspect any kind of Scat or disease kink is gonna be a big ole nope. Omarashi/piss kink though? Well, technically urine is sterile until it makes contact with something, so as long as his partner is clean down there I think he'd be okay with water sports 😆

Also, simple as it is, I think he'd turn away someone who just. Wasn't attractive enough. Hed also likely turn away any partner that Just didn't smell appealing to him in one way or another. Be it medication, illness, age related things, or just an accident of genes, if you don't smell appealing he won't smash.

Other turn offs include being unnecessarily sycophantic (especially as a sub) and bad acting. He's all for role play, but you gotta really commit to the bit.

He's all for every facet of BDS(S,S)M(M) but his partner can't be too wishy-washy. He's uh. Not the guy you wanna go to if you're just trying certain kinks and haven't got a feel for them yet (especially Sadism/Masochism or CNC) cause he will run rough-shot right over any boundaries in pursuit of his own pleasure if he gets too interested or excited. So putting him in a position where he's already supposed to be breaking rules and actively ignoring "pretend boundaries" when his partner isn't too confident in their ability to play along is not going to end well for them most likely.

I also get the feeling he prefers very much to be the one in pursuit so to say. He doesnt mind people trying to seduce him per se, but man you'd better be good at it. I dont think he'd tolerate someone who was always trying to get past his pants and doing it badly. Unless it was so terrible it was cute. That is its own form of entertainment and can be a valid (and effective) strategy.

Which leads me to an important distinction: Sexual desperation? Total kink. He goes hard for edging and toying with people's libido. He lives to turn people on and then watch them writhe with uncertainty, want and even confusion.

Emotional intimacy kind of desperation?. Hard pass. He has no room for that ugly color in his wardrobe and won't be seen standing next to it either if he can help it any. Though it can come in handy sometimes, that is something he prefers not to do to the greatest degree possible. Especially if they're gonna be all clingy and touchy feely. Nope, nope and nope. He doesn't mind fulfilling people's psycho-sexual needs if they're useful to him, but he draws a hard line at anything approaching lovey-dovey, obsessed-with-him, or truly Romantic in its intention. Or, at least most the time. :) Even he has his own psycho-sexual thing going on now and then and doesn't mind cuddles or intimate physical contact to that end. But the concept of "making love" is not something he really understands nor enjoys partaking in. (Nor being expected to partake in).

Honestly I feel like he probably says no more often than his prospective partners do, because he's busy, or not in the mood, or they just don't have enough significance - or the wrong kind of significance, like with his own staff - to be worth the while. Sex feels great but even it gets dull after all that time. As horny as he is, even he has his limitations.

:) hope I answered sufficiently.

#ao no exorcist #blue exorcist #mephisto pheles #ask

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flaresanimedump · 1 year

Text

Because I feel I say "I can't read the Untold Origins light novel because the translation gives me a headache" a lot without really having examples of why, I went back over some of my 382 PR notes on the part of the novel I did make it through a few years ago.

Important note: This exists so I have something to point to when people ask if I've read it or if I will. I love the story of Origins which is the only reason I suffered through as much of the novel as I did, and I was praying that it'd get adapted and adapted well so that I could really appreciate it. If you actively like the translation you may want to skip reading this if only to save yourself from noticing all the fucking annoying shit in the writing.

And this doesn't reflect my opinion on fan translations. Novels are hard to translate, BSD uses weird ass kanji and words, this isn't easy. But somebody got paid for this writing so I get to take harder shots at their skills. If I buy a professional light novel translation I expect a professional-level translation. Or at least, at the very very least, professional-level proofreading. That is not present here.

When I looked back at my notes, I discovered I actually didn't even start making them until after the scenes with the ADA. My 382 notes came from me melting down for a whole 21% of this novel.

Some quotes, starting from the very first line:

It was the night before the new employee, Atsushi Nakajima, joined the agency—and the night had only just begun. - Around that time, there were rumors of a highly competent bodyguard in Yokohama.

This is in no way "around that time," it's 12 years before the previous scene. The Japanese is その頃 which is meant to refer to a time different than where we are. Other common translations for this expression are "back then" and "in those days." "Around that time" is only a valid way to say it if we're aware of what time is being referenced, and at this point in the scene nobody's said when it is.

The translation of the expression is "correct" but when taken in context it says something entirely different than what it's supposed to mean. Like AI. This is a major red flag for what goes wrong with the rest of the book, but honestly it just gets worse.

There was already proof who did it, which led to the perpetrator’s swift arrest.

I cannot tell if leaving out the preposition was a typo or intentional. The entire line is garbage. "Evidence had already been found and the hit man was in custody." Not saying this line isn't difficult to interpret in JP (it is) but a lot of the existing translation is fluff tossed in to make it possible to use words that could be better. And you can do any number of things to avoid having such an awkward comma.

The wind was strong that day, causing the tape to flutter in the wind.

Yeah. This happens a lot.

“What are you doing?” Fukuzawa naturally asked.

I have no idea what this is supposed to mean. I really hesitate to say anything in the translation is wrong at my current level, but because it means nothing in English, this is wrong. It actually says something like "couldn't help asking."

Fukuzawa swiftly landed with both feet on the floor in the room next door so he could slide in through the slight crack he created,

I have half a dozen notes that are just "where the hell is this character right now". He lands in the room next door so that he can slip into the room next door?

The man wouldn’t be able to escape like this, let alone even scratch his nose.

This is most of the book, just strange and clunky writing. "Let alone" is used to highlight the thing you actually want to do, i.e. "I hardly have time to think these days, let alone relax." Oda wants to scratch his nose? "Even" is hideously redundant alongside "let alone" but could go here if they dropped it and added "or."

"Soon after, they eventually reach their destination."

That is a direct contradiction. It's not even hard to fix it should just be "finally" instead of "eventually."

To keep this from getting way too long and just summarize:

There are a lot of really bizarre word choices; "tossed to the curb" instead of "kicked to the curb," "got on the elevator" rather than "got in the elevator," "into range with their opponent" etc., and I'm gonna count the secretary saying the murdered company president was like a "governess" to him because the Japanese word is 主君, "lord," and if you weren't familiar with the word "governess" you'd probably think it meant female governor (rather than nanny).

On the more nitpicky stuff, there are a whopping 248 uses of the word "even," most of which need to be removed (and for the record I'm not usually one who cares about that kind of thing). I have several notes that words ending in -ly, especially "suddenly" and "instantly" should be banned from use in this book because they're painfully overused. Dialogue tags avoid "said" way too hard and its replacements interrupt the flow of the work. Past perfect is avoided at many many times when it just feels awkward and slangy to do so.

They do this weird thing where they put most adverbs before verbs ("keeping his trunk from even slightly shaking") which isn't technically wrong but feels wrong when it happens damn near every time there's an adverb. Adverbs of manner go after verbs most of the time so this feels almost like it's still in another language.

After a certain point, given the amount of action, I started to get violently irritated with the absolute dearth of exciting verbs (stationary gets flung and is "sent all over the room," not scattered, a desk is knocked over, it didn't crash to its side). Then we get things like "motionlessly looked" which is pretty much the textbook definition of "stare." It's very tell-don't-show.

And I could keep going. I got tired making these notes and I got tired again going back over them. And this!!! Is only 21% of the book!! I'm not sure if the blatant issues were what finally made me stop or if it was the relentless stream of lesser offenses in every sentence.

#gonna get myself in trouble with this one #flare reads bsd unfortunately #the agony of being a proofreader #some of this was definitely the novel's fault #but far from all #am I the final voice on this? no #but by god if you'd handed me this damn script for PR I would have done a better goddamn job #bungo stray dogs #bsd #bungou stray dogs

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bestworstcase · 2 years

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Which parallels between Ruby and Salem?

the first one i picked up on is that salem, in 6.4, echoes almost verbatim something ruby says to oscar in 5.5: oscar says that he’s scared, ruby tells him “we just have to press on;” and salem mutters—seemingly to herself?—“and so we must press on.”

further, the placement of these lines are directly mirrored in a really interesting way: oscar interrupts ruby before she can finish, asking how she can be so confident after everything she’s been through, and she answers that she isn’t confident, that she feels just as scared and overwhelmed as he does, but she’s chosen to try her best—to keep moving through the fear.

in contrast, salem gives this grandiose little speech to her acolytes—and of course none of them dare to interrupt her, but there’s nevertheless a lull, a pause in which salem glances out the window and we glimpse the sadness and weariness she’s carrying under the surface, because the mask slips just a little. “and so we must… press on” is salem’s answer to herself, to whatever pang of regret or doubt or exhaustion she just felt, before her attention goes back to her audience and she starts talking about the next steps in her plan.

so on the one hand we’ve got this inversion of ruby saying “we just have to press on” as a lead in to ruby having this monologue about what she’s feeling and what she meant, and then salem interrupting herself to make this remark—but on the other hand, both lines ultimately function as sort of narrative trail markers, flagging the grief/fear/pain both ruby and salem are carrying with them as they try to press on, and also highlighting the important difference that ruby has people in her life who care about her, people she can talk to about her feelings, and salem does not.

and on subsequent viewings it really hit me that rwby does this kind of thing with ruby and salem A LOT—that’s just the most immediately obvious example, because of how similar the two lines are.

another example occurs between 5.11 and 6.3. you know this beat?

RAVEN: All that time spent spying for Ozpin, and you still have no idea what you’re dealing with. There is no beating Salem!

RUBY: You’re wrong. We’ve done things that most people would call impossible, and I know the only reason we were able to do it is because we didn't do it alone! We had people to teach us, people to help us, we had each other. Work with us. At least I know we'll have a better chance if we try together. Please.

[She extends her arm, offering her hand to Raven, and Raven glances down—considering, for just a second—before her expression hardens and she steps back, resolute and angry.]

RAVEN: You sound just like your mother.

…yeah in 6.3 salem’s rejection of the divine mandate, the counteroffer she makes to ozma, and his reaction to that? framed EXACTLY the same way. and what’s really striking about that is that, from salem’s perspective, the underlying emotion of that scene in the lost fable is also identical—something that jinn’s narrative intentionally obfuscates by framing the scene through ozma’s point of view.

but, like, consider what’s really happening in that scene from salem’s side. the gods are the ultimate evil; they tortured her, murdered the planet, and consigned her to eternal suffering to punish her for disobeying them. she knows how powerful they are, and she’s seen that they don’t care if people are standing against them or not—they’ll kill anybody, they killed EVERYBODY, just to make a point to one person. to her. yet she also wholeheartedly believes that people can overcome their tyranny, that it isn’t futile to stand against them. (and why shouldn’t she believe that? after all, humans came back.)

so… in her eyes, ozma has just revealed a terrible secret—he was sent back to remnant to enact the will of those evil gods, and he’s chosen to obey because he’s terrified of what they’ve sworn to do if he does not—and salem comes back at him with: no, what they asked of you doesn’t matter, why should we obey them when we can fix what they broke by ourselves? whether you read “replace them” as “replace humans” or “replace the gods” doesn’t matter, because either way: from’s salem’s point of view, she’s asking ozma to join her, to work together to achieve their goals without submitting to the will of the gods. and ozma (figuratively) answers that with a fireball to the face, just as raven did to ruby in 5.11.

but wait! there’s more!

i’ve mentioned before that i think the fight with cordovin at the end of v6 is a big hint at what the emotional shape of the final confrontation with the god of light will look like—“clearly the people have forgotten that they live in peace thanks to the awesome might of atlas! […] consider this a reminder! […] and watch how your leader maintains order!” c’mon. “you are ants! you are lower than ants!” c’mon. “this is what happens when you think you know better than those rightfully in charge!” HELLO?—anyway, with that in mind,

in 6.12, ruby and maria fly right at the mech to bait cordovin into firing on them, intending to exploit a weakness oscar identified in the missile launcher itself. but cordovin figures out the ploy and, enraged, shoots their plane with the mech’s dust cannon instead. maria’s eyes get shorted out, the plane spins out of control, and they crash. ruby immediately picks herself up and marches forward to plant herself squarely in front of cordovin, staring down the massive barrel of the dust cannon as she REFUSES to surrender and declares that she and her team are GOING to atlas, no matter what.

sound familiar?

it really should:

where this one gets really interesting is that not only do both salem and ruby respond to what should have been a crushing defeat by getting right back up to stand their ground while shouting their defiance to the cruel, power-drunk authority figure who slapped them down in the first place—both of them also stick with the original plan, doing exactly the thing they were trying to do before getting slapped down. salem’s is “i’ll come back, i’ll tell the world of this massacre, raise a new army—” and ruby’s is baiting cordovin into taking a shot at her so she can exploit a weakness in the firing mechanism, and thus disable the weapon altogether. salem fails because the gods have already killed everyone, not just her allies; and ruby prevails because, by putting herself at point blank range this time, she neatly removes the advantage that allowed cordovin to outmaneuver them the first time around.

now, think about this: what is the essential difference between ruby in 6.12 and salem in 6.3? what tactic did ruby rely on to beat her odds that salem didn’t when she faced the gods?

ruby identified and then exploited a fatal weakness of her opponent, while using her opponent’s strength—the sheer size and power of the mech itself—to her advantage, literally hiding in front of the dust cannon cordovin intended to kill her with so that cordovin wouldn’t be able to see what ruby was doing until it was already too late to stop her. ruby wins here because she relies on the same tactics salem uses in the present—tactics that arose directly from lessons salem learned from her defeat at the hands of the gods.

and what’s especially neat about that is, those tactics don’t come to ruby any more naturally or instinctively than they came to salem; ruby has always been pragmatic—the kid stone-cold cut off tyrian’s tail after he stung qrow!—but she’s also a very straightforward combatant up until this fight. she’s a brutal, efficient fighter whose basic approach to battle is to ruthlessly chop down her opponents or snipe them from afar until there’s none left…

…which was exactly the mindset that got salem to fomenting a rebellion and leading an army to confront the gods head-on—exactly the mindset that led to salem’s horrific defeat and the total annihilation of humanity at the hands of the gods. which ruby witnessed only a few days before she pulled this tricky, underhanded move to disable the dust cannon and beat cordovin against what seemed like impossible odds. ruby learned the exact. same. lesson. from watching salem’s defeat that salem herself did through experiencing it, and upon being put into a similarly hopeless battle against a foe orders of magnitude more powerful than herself, ruby immediately put that lesson into action AND THAT’S WHY SHE WON!

salem’s divide-and-conquer strategy is also one ruby employs to great effect in the rwby-vs-ace-ops fight at the end of v7, and again against ironwood early in the climactic sequence of v8—striking at multiple pain points at once to split him off from his loyal supporters and playing to his arrogance and need for control to get him to lower his guard once “penny” has been restrained. other people besides me have pointed this out, so i won’t belabor it other than to emphasize that ruby adopts this strategic approach because it works and is morally neutral—that is, there’s nothing intrinsically evil about divide-and-conquer tactics, and both the narrative of rwby and ruby herself understand that salem is evil not because she relies on such tactics but because she applies them toward monstrous, destructive, cruel ends.

anyway—in the interest of brevity i won’t outline everything but i do want to highlight two more. one is just a visual/symbolic thing that has me VERY curious about the direction the story might be taking with ruby in v9, because THIS shot in the v8 opener…

…is STRONGLY evocative of this shot of salem sinking into the pool of darkness…

…and occurs in the context of an opening number whose theme is “we thought we could change the world, we tried our best, we gave everything we had and failed, but it was worth it to try.” with a side helping of “some heroes choose the wrong side” and an extra side helping of you could play the whole song over the failed rebellion in lost fable and have exactly salem’s point of view.

gives me brainworms.

anyway, the other thing—the last thing, is what ruby says during the broadcast in 8.5: “things are dire, and we need help. but please, try not to panic; this isn’t some new enemy or invading kingdom. this is a force we’ve faced before, for centuries: salem. […] we didn’t have time to prepare for salem, but now you do! just because she can’t be destroyed, doesn’t mean she can’t be beaten! if she really was unstoppable, she wouldn’t have acted with such caution before now. she knows we’re a threat! so even if we—even if atlas falls, you can’t give up.”

in… essence, that is a reiteration of the point salem makes about ozpin’s failure during her monologue in 3.12: “how does it feel, knowing that all your time and effort has been for nothing? that your guardians have failed you? that everything you’ve built will be torn down before your very eyes? your faith in mankind was not misplaced: when banded together, unified by a common enemy, they are a noticeable threat… but divide them, place doubt into their minds, and any semblance of power they once had will wash away.”—the emotion is very different, but in her broadcast ruby does precisely what salem is mocking ozpin here for not doing, ie using the threat salem poses to the world as a rallying cry to bring people together. there’s even a slight echo of salem’s own language in ruby’s broadcast; salem describes a unified humanity as a “noticeable threat” and ruby repeats that as “she knows we’re a threat!”

and in general, ruby speaks of humanity’s collective strength and of the possibility of people coming together and being able to drive salem back with the same conviction salem does—in stark contrast to ozma, whose faith in humankind has long since hollowed out into weary cynicism. ruby and salem are on opposite sides of the conflict, but they’re on basically the same wavelength in terms of what they think humans are capable of. in his heart of hearts, ozma doesn’t truly believe that humans can withstand salem, much less the gods.

but ruby DOES believe that, and salem believes that, and both of them base A LOT of their decision-making on that belief; salem exploits ozpin’s self-defeating secrecy for all it’s worth, and ruby refuses point blank to give up because she knows salem can be defeated if enough people are just willing to try. even when ruby starts to crack, later on in v8, she’s not losing her faith in humanity—she’s losing her faith in herself, doubting her leadership, her judgment, her decisions… without ever for a second doubting humanity as a whole. and THAT is, in a nutshell, the quality that makes ruby more like salem than she is like ozma:

salem watched the gods annihilate humanity with a snap of their fingers and she still believes that humanity can and must reject divine tyranny.

ruby learned that salem can’t be killed and she still believes that humanity not only can but will defeat salem.

but when the god of light tells ozma that modern humans are a broken shadow of what they once were and tasks ozma with redeeming them lest the gods obliterate them forever, ozma accepts that as a fact—a horrific, terrifying, painful fact, but still a fact he has yet to truly question.

and ruby—who is essentially ozpin’s successor, who succeeds where he has failed over and over and over again—is succeeding exactly because she is more like salem than she is like ozma.

#we could also go on AT GREAT LENGTH about #how salem’s utter ruthlessness is reflected in ruby’s battlefield pragmatism #or how ruby’s unwavering conviction and absolute REFUSAL to back down from what she believes is right #is exactly salem’s unflinching defiance of monstrous and tyrannical gods #but u know.#since brevity is the soul of wit and tediousness its limbs and outward flourishes i will be brief

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beautifulpersonpeach · 9 months

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been lurking on your blog for a while and i find your new jeans write ups interesting. it's like the cookie song doesn't bother you so you're okay with it?

***

Hi Anon,

Story Time

Some years back, I moved to the US for work. I'd learned English at a young age, lived and worked with English-speakers and thought myself to be very fluent. Anyway, one day I had a business proposal put in front of my desk. I won't explain what exactly the product was, but the long and short of it is that at some point during the brainstorming session, "two girls one xyz" became the catchiest, most fitting tagline. My team had a good mix of old and young people who came from diverse backgrounds. We could all speak English and considered ourselves well versed in slang, but nobody in the team caught the reference until 2 weeks before launch, when in one of the campaigns, it sounded like "two girls one cup".

Now, for anyone who doesn't know what that phrase is, don't bother googling it. The gist is, I quickly learned that in America, you never say "two girls one cup". At least not in public. Everywhere else, this line doesn't mean anything, but in America and certain online communities, it means everything. By the time we found out, it was too late to revamp the campaign to change it, so we instead tweaked it to become a bit quirkier so those who caught the reference won't be totally put off by it. And overall the project was a success and caught on well in Germany, Poland and the UK, but if we didn't catch that reference in time, the campaign would've been a disaster. The way we caught the reference was someone outside the team, a local American, who immediately flagged it the minute he saw it in our outlook report. All of us fluent English-speakers had some vague idea of the various ways the campaign would look and sound, but nobody attached the meaning of "two girls one cup" to it.

And so, maybe that's why I buy the explanation offered by Ador. I can very easily see how an English professor at a Korean university, a couple of Scandinavian songwriters, and one Korean DJ, wouldn't know a Eurocentric slang interpretation of an innocuous English word. Because I myself, the first time I heard Cookie, didn't get any sexual undertones or innuendos. The song honestly just seemed cute to me… the puns in Korean were cute. Also, “taste it, smell it, bake it…” for Korean sweets and desserts, all that isn't odd to say. I mean, people here plan their whole days around trying out a new café and savouring a new sweet on the menu like it's a life-changing experience. It's fun and cute to attach that level of attention and importance to your sweets. The connection with CDs was obvious at first glance too (the CDs are huge in the MV so it's hard to miss), and given what I would call the ‘café culture’ in Korea, the play on words in Cookie seemed honest to God adorable, and a lot of my Korean friends and family (the few who listen to k-pop) felt the same. It probably sounds like I'm reaching here but overall I didn't think this was a big deal anyway.

International k-pop stans felt differently, but k-pop stans in general are easy to rile up, and even if Ador indeed had some ulterior motive, either way I don't really care.

I don't care for the same reason I don't care that Beyonce used the 'spazz' slang in her song, for the same reason I don't care Chaeyoung from Twice went around the US in a Q-Anon/nazi t-shirt, for the same reason I don't care about XG saying they've got 'opps', for the same reason I don't care that Mamamoo/Shinee have done black/brownface and never apologized for it, for the same reason I don't care that Florence Welch is apparently a Satanist, for the same reason I don't care Bang PD is likely fucking someone half his age...

And so on.

It's not because I don't understand the implications of all these issues, but the standard applied in stan twt for what is considered 'problematic' and 'cancellable' doesn't impact how I feel about music and the artists. I decide all that for myself.

And I like Cookie and NewJeans.

#newjeans #newjeans cookie #kpop #Kpop music #girl groups #ador #Hybe #fandom discourse #kpop fandom

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weizhiyuan · 10 months

Text

Thai BL Favorites List Tag Game

thank youuu mel @justafriend-ql for tagging me!!! And to @thatgirl4815 for creating it!

I’m so bad at picking favorites so please excuse the fact that I have like two answers per question.. since this is a Thai bl list I’m not listing gls or non Thai series or else I’d probably list like 3+ per question fnskfjfj

Favorite bl: bad buddy or not me (PLEASE DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE). They’re both very different but very important in their own ways. The bad buddy experience is incomparable and the beauty of not me and its basis in reality is historical

Favorite pairing: following suit, patpran & seanwhite. Both series weren’t just plot driven, they were character driven as well (possibly more so). Each are fantastic, though wildly different, romances.

Most underrated actor: my boy chimon! I think generally people know he can act but I wouldn’t be surprised if he gained more recognition after dangerous romance aired. (Also bonus, stealing Mel’s answer cuz sing always needs more attention he can do any and everything!! I’ll eat up any role he plays. I always do)

Favorite character: really hard to choose. maybe Sean (from not me again). I’m ngl I blocked someone once bc they talked a bit of shit abt him. He’s never done anything wrong in his life <3

Favorite side character: yok from not me. I’m gonna keep putting not me here srry but NO ONE will ever be as slutty as yok was. Not even First in only friends. He encapsulated Slut energy in such an immaculate way. (OR heartliming. They stole the show in moonlight chicken for me!)

Favorite scene: the pride flag scene from not me. It’s one of the most impactful scenes I’ve seen in any ql and I love the reason why it exists in the first place!

Favorite line: the build up to patpran’s rooftop kiss. Got me holding my breath screaming crying heart racing you know it. We’ve all been through it. I have it copied into my notes in case I ever need it (or just to. Cry idk)

Most anticipated bl and why: hmmm probably cooking crush literally just cuz of offgun in a romcom bl lmao I luv them. The pics they’ve uploaded lately have had a different vibe from the mock trailer and I’m liking it! Maybe cherry magic too as I’m curious to see how it’ll be adapted to Thailand as a remake

Healthiest relationship in a bl: patpran. Do I even need to say more? They might’ve had a little drama before they got together but you HAVE to have a healthy mf relationship to maintain it while “lying” saying you’ve broken up to your parents & some of ur friends

Most toxic relationship in a bl: vegaspete. See they’re lowkey more toxic in my head than they are on screen. Like yes vegas electrocuted Pete’s balls but he could’ve done worse and I think he should’ve! The toxic aspect was what made it fun (also who would I be if they didn’t make it on a fav Thai bl list at least Once)

Guilty pleasure series: idk what I’d consider a guilty pleasure BUT I thought the first episode of tharntype (which I actually only watched recently lmao) was kinda camp. Like it literally OPENS with Type saying he loves college except for one problem… GAY PEOPLE EXIST 😡🤬 that’s comedy. I burst out laughing. Can’t say I love the show as a whole tho

Most underrated series (mel I love that u added this bc I kno exactly what to say): SECRET CRUSH ON YOU. I NEED TO PROMOTE IT. I think people who dropped it did so bc it was so over the top but that’s exactly why you should keep going??? It’s SO saturated and the emotions are ALWAYS at 100 it’s hilarious but in the moments it gets emotional (episode 13…) it GOES ALL IN!!! The constant secondhand embarrassment made me literally start sweating but in a good way?? Ppl who reduce it to just cringe have missed all the beauty it offers. I regret not watching it live and I feel like I don’t see enough people talking about it… also I am literally toh <3

Surprisingly some of my beloved Thai bls didn’t make it onto this list but it seems that’s cuz I still have bad buddy/not me brain worms forever 🙃 I stand by what I said either way hehe

I’ll tag @joyladagang @loserlesbianongsa @jyuubin @petrichoraline @iliketodecompose <33333

#I’m too lazy 2 put gifs/pics qhdkjds but half of these r just. the same two shows so fjjsdn #this was so fun to think abt tho I love an excuse to talk abt my favs!!!#tag game #b.txt #(there were also a lot of actors I could’ve said for who I think is underrated lol)

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leebrontide · 7 months

Text

Secondhand Origin Stories, Chapter 9

Here's this week's chapter! Reblogs welcome!

For those of you just joining us, I'm posting a chapter a week of my free near future scifi/low neon cyberpunk YA/NA novel, Secondhand Origin Stories, which has been described as

"-a character driven, compelling story full of family, queerness, corruption, brain altering nanites, secretly teen parenting AIs, and taking aspects of the superhero genre to their very human and rarely-explored natural conclusions."

For content warnings and more, check here:

You can follow along by following #SHOSweekly

Chapter 9

Martin’s voice in the elevator was enough to put Opal on edge again. The unexpectedly plush chairs of the clinic waiting room weren’t enough to fix it. The staff here all seemed so grim, somehow. And up this high, the sound of the storm blanketed every other noise with the static, as if it was keeping secrets in the constant shushes of rain and the grumbles of thunder.

She’d settled on calling her mom. Mom’s ridiculous sheep-patterned pajamas and her enthusiasm for Shani’s history project helped. Apparently Opal would be getting a lengthy account of it whenever she managed to reach Shani between summer sleepovers.

“Everyone still treating you all right?”

Opal smiled, trying to get comfortable. “Aldis and the guys have been great. You got the pictures I sent you of the VIP suite? Oh! Did I tell you Capricorn said he thinks I have grit? And Helix agreed with him.” She couldn’t mention the rest of it-- not here, at least. She couldn’t make up her mind what she really should say.

“Oh, baby, I’m so proud of you. Are they as handsome in person as on TV?”

Opal laughed. “Mom. They’re all like, 40 and up.”

“And that might as well be a hundred to an 18-year-old. Yeah, yeah.”

“Hey, have you--”

“I still haven’t heard from your dad. I promise I’ll let you know the minute I do. But you know how this goes. Any little thing.” And they’d revoke his phone “privileges.” It’d been months, once or twice before. Then he’d reappear, looking a little older, a little less steady, chastising Opal for having worried. She hadn’t gotten any letters, either. It was never good when he couldn’t even send letters. But she’d sent hers. She hoped he got them.

She glanced up as a familiar figure ghosted through the edge of Opal’s line of sight. “Jamie?” Jamie turned, looking haunted. “Hey, Mom. I’m sorry, but I’ll call you later, OK?”

Martin had said there was a family emergency. If Jamie was down here, it must be a bad one.

Jamie was, impossibly, paler than usual. She seemed almost blue. Her posture was hunched, as if she was expecting to have to bolt at any second, with her elbows pulled in tight against her body. She also seemed to be by herself. “Hey, are you OK?”

“I’m trying to find Issac’s doctor, but they just keep telling me to go wait with…I need to tell them what happened with Issac. I’m the only one who was there.”

A nice, straightforward request. Opal stood, flagging down the nearest medical professional who didn’t seem to be rushing. She put on her most professional tone. “Excuse me. Ms. Tillman-Voss needs to speak with the treating physician for Issac Tillman-Voss right away. She has important information relevant to his condition she needs to share.” Hanging around Mom’s job when she was little had given her a few tricks, at least.

The woman nodded, and led them to a nurse’s station before disappearing to find the doctor.

“Ms. Tillman-Voss?” Jamie asked under her breath. “I think they think you’re my bodyguard now.”

Bodyguard? She’d been going for PR intern. “Whatever works,” she muttered back.

Jamie’s smile was tiny and wobbly. “You do look really grown-up in that.”

“You look like you’re going to faint. You’re not, are you? My mom’s a nurse, but I am very much not.”

“No. I need to talk to the doctor.”

“Are you going to faint after that?”

“I hope not. They won’t treat me here. I’m not altered.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure if LodeStar’s kid faints in their waiting room, they’ll pull something together.”

Jamie muttered under her breath, “Not sure he’d care.”

That didn’t sound good. The doctor showed up before Opal could ask, and then she was too busy keeping up with the story Jamie was telling. Every bit of which sounded 100% illegal. By the end of it, Jamie’s voice was painful to even listen to, it was so high-pitched and breathless, but Jamie pushed through. She even brought them a copy of a thesis Issac had written on the subject. It’d be impressive if it wasn’t so horrifying. Brain-changing nanites? You didn’t have to try to think of all the ways that could be misused.

The doctor rushed off as soon as Jamie was done.

Opal was hit with more doubt than she’d ever had before. What and who had she gotten mixed up with? OK, the Sentinels as a family struggling to cope, she could understand. But a family that attempted to cope by developing more and scarier technology, and testing it on themselves in secret?

Then again, that was how Bion had started. But that was back before altering tech laws had been around. Issac must have known what he was doing was illegal. He should even know why it needed to be illegal. His family took down people conducting illegal alterations all the time.

But maybe those rules didn’t apply to their son.

She shivered. Exactly how many rules didn’t apply to them?

Jamie didn’t notice Opal’s existential crisis. She was staring down the hallway towards the handful of private waiting rooms like she was expecting a firing squad. She took a tiny, unconscious step backwards, towards Opal.

And all Opal could remember was Jamie’s comment that nobody would even notice another couple of bruises on her. All three of the kids seemed incredibly isolated. How many laws could the Sentinels get out of?

Opal put a hand on Jamie’s shoulder. Leaned in to ask quietly, “Are you OK?”

Jamie didn’t look at her. But she pressed her lips so tight they almost vanished. Her eyes were pink. She shook her head, still staring down the hall.

Maybe it was nothing. Jamie’d had a terrible morning by anyone’s standards.

Maybe it wasn’t nothing.

Jamie started, looking at Opal. “My dad! He needs a doctor, too. If he’s in the waiting room, then they must not know. His collarbone’s broken.”

“What? How did that happen?”

“Yael.” Jamie said, flinching as she realized too late that that was bound to beg questions. “There was a-- xe was afraid he-- but that doesn’t matter. He needs a doctor!”

This time it was even easier to get someone’s attention, but Jamie was a lot lighter on the details. She didn’t even mention Yael. Whatever had happened, she was less likely to explain it than she was Issac’s breach of international laws. Nobody pressed her for more details. Doctors rushed to help the injured superhero, and Opal and Jamie stayed put.

Neil Voss passed by a few minutes later, escorted by a nervous-looking medical person and Capricorn. Capricorn looked grim, and had a hand on LodeStar’s arm. LodeStar ignored Opal completely, his attention stitched tightly to his daughter as he passed. Neither of them said anything to the other.

Jamie watched him with her own intensity, and a disquieting stillness. LodeStar looked half possessed. His eyes burned blood-red where the whites should have been. His steps were unsteady and slow, but the muscles in his shoulders were coiled, prepared to strike, his hands working themselves into huge metallic fists. Flexing again. Stretching, as if he was imagining grabbing something. Opal had never seen anyone more terrifying in her life.

He was cordoned off in another room after what felt like an eternity. The two of them both exhaled at the same time.

Oh God. Opal was in a Gothic novel. And the head of the house was as powerful and utterly unhinged as any she’d ever read. And she’d spent the last...more than two weeks now, trying to move into his house, work under his orders? This was not going to work. She could never trust the orders of someone like that. She could never hurt or arrest anyone on his say-so. She didn’t even want to be in the same room with him.

She’d go home. Go back to Detroit. Save up, and try another team, later. They couldn’t all be like him, could they?

Jamie sat suddenly, barely catching a chair instead of landing on the floor. She was struggling to catch her breath.

Shit. None of the doctors had even looked at Jamie. No one was going to check in on what was happening in LodeStar’s home. What made Jamie look like that? What drove her brother to experiment on himself, rather than have something he might see as a vulnerability in that household?

Opal reached for the only failsafe she could think of close by. “Hey, maybe we should go find your mom?”

Jamie cringed, but nodded, dragging herself back upright. Opal followed close behind, hoping to find some kind of resolution.

* * *

Issac drifted in and out of consciousness several times. Reality had turned slippery, and even awake, he couldn’t seem to grasp hold of it. This time, when he woke, the ground under him felt a little more solid. Time felt a little more linear.

He kept his eyes closed, trying to shut out reality. Trying not to notice what he couldn’t detect. He tried to focus inward. His mouth and tongue hurt, as if he’d cut them. A seizure, he remembered. Someone had told him he’d had a seizure, one of the other times he’d been awake. He must have bitten himself. His mouth tasted like blood.

He shifted his attention again, but his body was no refuge. His pulse was speeding; his back hurt like hell. There was a needle in his arm. His torso was canted upwards. Another hospital bed.

More missing monitor noise.

His mind had never been good at silence. He’d never been able to get it to shut up. To stop noticing.

Then again, at least it was still working right. At least he did still notice things.

At least he’d woken up.

Tears pricked at his closed eyes. He’d failed. Air escaped his lungs unevenly, and he sucked it back in, straining against ribs that whined about it, just like the last time.

Whoever was in the room with him-- there must be someone-- didn’t notice his tears or any unwanted noises. There was no touch to his hand or face. No anything. If he wanted something, he’d have to signal it. He’d have to open his eyes and face whoever was there.

He pried open crusty, itchy eyes. This time, his vision landed first on his own paper-clad lap.

There was a card in his hand in unfamiliar handwriting. Issac - you have had a seizure. Some confusion is normal. It will go away in a while. Please stop trying to remove the monitoring equipment. Your family will return soon.

Soon? None of them were even in here with him? He looked up.

There was a man in the room. He was wearing a three-piece suit in brownish gray, with graying, sand-colored hair, and a severely bleached smile plastered on his face. He was sitting in the chair between Issac and the door with his ankle on his knee. As if this was a perfectly normal way to meet someone.

This was not a doctor.

Issac gasped as his vision developed sudden spots. Black fractured the image in front of him.

It was text. Good afternoon, Mr. Tillman-Voss.

Issac was wearing contacts. Revulsion rolled through him. He wanted to pull them off. He couldn’t stand the thought of touching them. Either the stranger knew he had them, or he thought Issac could hear. The man stood, still smiling. He reached into his blazer pocket, producing a little slip of paper. He walked the few paces between them, holding it out. A business card. Before Issac could read it, more text crowded the image out. I’m Frank Lasansky of Lasansky Security Technologies. Sorry if I’m catching you at a bad time.

A bad time? Issac wasn’t even wearing pants. How did these contacts end up on his eyes? Where was his family? I heard a while back about what happened to you and I think that’s a shame. Just a real shame. Still smiling. Issac would have punched the guy if he was more confident in his ability to stand up without falling down. There was something off about him-- a fakeness that went beyond his over-bleached teeth. Issac took the business card, but kept watching the man’s face.

It didn’t move right. Some kind of partial paralysis?

And I thought, there’s a young man I’d like to meet. And my lucky day, I come to find out you’re in this very building when I am! Well, I couldn’t pass up an opportunity like that, could I? Huh? Right?

Issac didn’t know what else to do, so he shook his head “no.” Did this guy not know Issac lived in this building? How could he possibly not know that? It was Sentinel Plaza.

Lasansky. That name was familiar.

The weird smile stretched wider. Great! Glad to hear it. Because I am just dying to chat with you about those nanites of yours. Issac went cold. The nanites. He must be from the APB? Maybe he was here to take Issac away. Issac felt an irrational urge to check to make sure all his arms and legs were still attached. That they hadn’t been replaced with weaker models. He knew better, and he was being watched. Now, I already heard that this trial didn’t work out. That’s why I took the liberty of providing you with some hardware to help us out in our little chat. He tapped the space next to his eye, looking pleased with himself.

Issac recoiled. He would have assumed that either his parents or a nurse had put the contacts on him. That would have been bad enough. But to think that this random businessman had been touching Issac while he was either asleep or too out of it to have a say sent a spiky, electric chill up his spine. OK, he had his legs, but it felt that much closer to Jenna's fate, all the same.

Lasansky continued, either oblivious to Issac's alarm or electing to ignore it. But hey, these things happen. You can’t get it right on your first try every time, right? Issac wondered whether he was supposed to shake his head again, but this time Lasansky didn’t wait. I want you to know I’m not going to judge you for that. You know? I want you to hear that it’s not your fault. You didn’t have backup. No support. No team.

Issac's horror ebbed a little, and he tried to shove it down faster. Don’t think about his eyes. This was obvious, and well-thought-out, flattery. This total stranger knew exactly what Issac wanted to hear. The polar opposite of what he’d be forced to sit through whenever his parents showed up to replace the stranger.

Why was he flattering Issac?

Issac studied the man. The suit was high-end, and almost perfectly tailored, but cut a little too big in the shoulders. There was the smallest of silver roots visible at his hairline. His hands looked noticeably older than his face.

Ah. His face. He’d had too much Botox, too many face-lifts, or both. That’s why his expressions seemed off. Everything about him was pretending.

Lasansky. Lasansky. He knew that name.

But a little birdie gave me some good news. Word on the street is, it’s your biggest birthday today! He leaned in conspiratorially. Issac leaned in, too, as if it mattered what volume the man spoke at. You’re a free man, Mr Tillman. The world is your oyster.

A free man. So, not arrested, anyway. Lasansky stood. Now I know this is irregular, God knows it’s not usually how we run things at Lasansky Security International, but you, young man, are special. I couldn’t run the chance of them squirreling you away in the attic all alone without my having spoken to you, first.

Of him being sent away like Jenna.

Mr. Tillman, I am here to make you an offer. Because the problem with working for the family business is, you have to work for your family! You have to be the baby at work and at home. Have your boss at the dinner table. Be constantly surrounded by people who have what they think are your best interests at heart, but who, deep down, can’t appreciate you for the adult that you are! Now the fact that you had to run this all by yourself tells me that they already gave you the vote of no confidence. They only see Issac the boy, not Issac the man. But I have seen your patent list, and I am ready to give you my full vote of confidence. I believe in your tech. I believe there’s a need for it, and I believe that with the right support, you can deliver your gift to the world. I am prepared to offer you just that support.

This stranger-- this fake man in a thousand-dollar suit-- understood. Had grasped the whole dynamic of the situation without ever even meeting Issac. Issac glanced down briefly, thinking, and his eyes landed on perfectly shined shoes with a subtly higher-than-average heel. Trying to look tall.

Lasansky was the head of what had to be a huge, heavily politically-connected company, but even he had to pretend to be taller, healthier, younger than he was. No wonder he could understand Issac’s need to fix himself. Even Lasansky wasn’t high enough in the hierarchy to risk exposing even the smallest, most irrelevant weaknesses, like wrinkles or narrower shoulders.

Well, even Mom wore tall shoes and sought the occasional nip and tuck, didn’t she? She just wore it better, or maybe invested more.

If even the people at the top-- everyone who wasn’t altered-- had to protect themselves with artificial health and height, where did that leave someone with an actual weakness?

Lasansky approached the tilted hospital bed. Issac had to crane his neck back to keep watching him. He smiled down at Issac with gleaming teeth. Mr. Tillman, how would you like to join the Lasansky Securities family?

* * *

Time bled by Yael at an agonizing crawl. Xe didn’t know how long xe’d been sitting on the cool tile floor of xyr bedroom, not really seeing anything. Xyr back was still against the door, where it was easiest to hear Papa not coming after xyr, not trying to argue through the door. Xe’d let xyr mind go blank, listening to that silence.

When xyr phone went off, Yael jumped so hard xe banged xyr head against the door. Xe grabbed the phone out of xyr pocket, answering to stop its intrusion. Xe forgot all about Papa for a moment when xe realized it was Issac. Or, at least, Issac's phone.

“Hello?” xe asked cautiously, not sure who to expect on the other end.

Issac himself answered. “Yeah. Uhm. Hi.”

Yael's head dropped back, hitting the door with another bang. “You’re OK. You’re OK, right? Oh my Gosh, can you hear me? You’re on the phone!”

There was a pause. “I…no. I have translation software. I can’t hear you.”

“Sorry it didn’t work.” And xe was, a little. Mostly, xe was happy he was conscious, coherent and alive. Now they just had to get through the fallout with the APB. Nodiah wasn’t going to be happy.

Issac didn’t even try to hide his discomfort, which was refreshing. “Yeah.” Yael looked behind xyr, as if xe could see through the door. Xe had no idea where Papa was, if he was hearing all of this. “I need your help.”

Yael crossed xyr legs, straightening. Trying not to think about how “helping” him this morning had gone. “What do you need?”

“An escort? I, uhm. I got a job. Just now.” Yael pulled the phone away from xyr ear, and stared at it, baffled. Was Issac actually coherent? “I know that’s weird. But it’s this guy who works with the APB, and he actually believes in my research. Wants to use it to help people.” Official approval! Thank heaven. Issac would be safe, now. Problems were knocking themselves out left and right.

“I’m eighteen. I can move out, any time I want to. They can’t stop me. But it’s like… I’ll have to live in just like…a place. Just standard security systems. I’d feel better if you came along, too. You’re almost eighteen. Can you?” A flicker of hesitation. “Will you?”

Yael rushed the phone back to xyr ear, glancing back against the door again. Hopefully Papa hadn’t heard that.

Xyr first impulse was to tell Issac “no.” He was hurt. He needed his family. He needed to be protected, here at home.

Except now, home wasn’t safe, either. He needed safety and family. Maybe Yael really was his best bet for both. Papa wasn’t listening to Yael-- maybe none of the others would, either.

“On one condition. We have to bring Jamie, too. We can’t leave her here.” Xe hoped Melissa would protect her, but if nobody but Yael saw the danger--

“What? I. But. I mean. If she wants to…You think she would? But she’s sixteen.”

“We have to try.”

“Uh. Sure. Try away.”

“Is…Your mom isn’t with you, now.”

“Obviously.”

“You’re alone?”

“I…I guess they came in earlier. I don’t remember.”

“Have you seen Neil?”

“I guess.”

“Jamie?”

“I don’t remember, OK? Seizures can do that. Just…pack up. I’ll get home when I can to do the same.” He said his goodbyes, which Yael echoed in a haze, then hung up.

Moving out? Xe’d never planned to leave. Xyr room had always just evolved with xyr. This was Yael’s home.

But a home wasn’t such a big thing to sacrifice for your brother and sister.

Xe heard shuffling outside. Papa’s normally light footfalls were slow and plodding, either because he was just that tired, or to warn xyr he was coming.

The handle beside xyr head turned, and Yael looked over at it as the door tried to shift inward. Yael was more than heavy enough to keep it closed.

Papa’s voice was muffled, but only a little bit irritated. “Yael, I’ve bought you a very large bed, two futons, and an office chair. Why do you insist on sitting on the floor?”

Xe didn’t even bother to pretend to be angry. “I’m being a barricade.”

“Well, stop being a barricade and go back to being my daughter. I need to talk to her.”

Maybe it was just because xe was so upset about everything else, but xe was suddenly annoyed by his misgendering, and didn’t watch xyr tongue. “I’m not your daughter.”

Shit! Yael’d said it before thinking, then realized how Papa would hear it. Xe scrambled to xyr feet and threw the door open.

He was standing there, half turned from the door, his expression a broken attempt at stoicism. He met xyr eyes with a piercing, angry gaze and a mouth that tugged down at the corners, obviously hurt.

This time xyr blurted words did better. “I didn’t mean it like that! I meant-- ugh. You’ve heard Jamie and Issac use non-gendered pronouns for me for five months now. Take a hint!”

The pain in his expression cleared, some, replaced by sincere confusion. “You never asked me to call you that.”

“I thought it would be obvious.”

“I didn’t want to assume. Sometimes siblings have things they don’t want to share with-- I was trying not to intrude!” He shook his head. “This is absurd. Yael, aren’t we having enough fights today? Let’s put this on hold.”

Surprisingly diplomatic of him, even if he was sidestepping something important to xyr. Xe tried to stay calm. Xe crossed xyr arms. “All right. Which fight do you want to have first?”

Papa replied with an exasperated, but not entirely unamused sigh, and stepped forward. Xe let him in. He paused. “How about the one about how your room looks like you’re afraid of drawers, closets and boxes?”

“Really?”

He shoved over a pile of hoodies and sat on one of the futons. “No.” He rubbed his face.

The silence stretched out. Papa was lost in thought. Yael collapsed onto the opposite futon, toying with the corduroy.

Finally he looked to xyr. “Which do you want to start with?”

Yael spread xyr hands helplessly, shaking xyr head. Xe had no idea how to untangle all of this. But xe didn’t want him to leave.

Xe didn’t want to leave.

To xyr amusement, he pulled out a coin. He looked at xyr. “Heads, your fight with Neil, tails, the…the other thing.”

Xe nodded, and he flipped the coin, catching it and slapping it to his hand. “Heads,” he announced.

They looked at each other, bracing for a fight neither of them wanted to have. “Tell me what happened. I won’t say anything until you’ve finished. Just this once.”

Too good an offer to pass up. “Issac was following in his father’s and Jenna's and Drew's footsteps. He decided to fight his limitations directly, and he had the science. He limited the MARTIN sensors and used his nanites to try to repair his audio nerve.” Xe refused to look ashamed. “Jamie and I helped him, and kept his secret. And I am not sorry we did.” That was much easier to say now that xe knew he really was OK. “He has the right to try to better himself.”

Xe couldn’t read Papa’s reaction, so xe just kept going. “But he had a seizure, Jamie used the failsafe, and we called for help. The EMTs got Issac, and Drew went with them, and as soon as Neil and Jamie and I were alone, he started shouting at her, and then he lunged for her. I intercepted him and tried to make him back off. He wouldn’t. That’s pretty much when you came in.”

Papa might not have interrupted, but now he was shaking his head. “You misinterpreted. You were upset and you misunderstood.”

“How would you know? You weren’t there!” xe challenged.

“Neil wouldn’t. He adores Jamie. He loves all of you kids.” Yael shook xyr head, glaring daggers at the floor as he continued. “You’ve known him your whole life. You know he would never hurt any of you.”

“I’ve been trying to believe in that, and in him. This whole time I’ve been trying. But he’s not the man I grew up with. That man would never abandon Issac for days at a time like this. Not for any reason. And today-- I’ve seen enough film of your missions to know he can kill with less rage than that. I wouldn’t let anyone looking like that near Jamie or Issac.”

Xe readied for arguments and shouting yet again. Instead, Papa looked distracted and troubled.

Deep down, part of Yael wanted to be wrong. Even hurting Neil unfairly would be better than Neil being a real danger to Jamie. Neil would heal. If he was the person Yael thought xe remembered, he would even forgive.

But Papa had stopped arguing. Xe couldn’t imagine a more hollow victory.

They sat in painful silence for a moment.

“I…I’ll talk to him. And Melissa,” he promised.

“There’s more.”

He looked horrified. “More? How could there possibly be more?” Realization dawned. “The phone call.”

“It was Issac.”

“Well then, that’s good!”

Xe nodded, hesitantly. “Yes, that’s good,” xe hedged. “You know it’s his birthday.”

“What a birthday.”

“He’s eighteen. He called me to say he’s not coming back, except to pack his things. He’s moving out. And he sure is Melissa’s son, because he’s somehow landed himself a job since this morning.”

Papa’s mouth dropped open. “You can’t be serious.”

Yael threw up xyr hands. “It wasn’t my idea!”

“Well, tell him not to!”

“When has that ever worked? At least it’s APB-backed, so he won’t get arrested for this morning.”

“He can’t just go out there, alone.”

Here it was. “He won’t be alone.” Yael gulped, but raised xyr chin. “I’m going with him.”

Papa rocketed to his feet.“The hell you are!” All his bombastic energy was back from before. “This is absurd! We had a fight! That is no reason. No. Reason.”

Yael didn’t have it in xyr now to fight about this. Instead, xe kept xyr voice low, which had the surprising effect of making Papa pause. “I know. I’m not going to get away from you. I’m going to protect him. Because he shouldn’t go out there alone.”

“I forbid it.”

“Then be prepared to fight me with real force every single day. Be prepared to break my legs faster than they can heal, because that’s what it’ll take.”

Papa was visibly repulsed. “This is no time for dramatics.”

“I’m being sincere. I know you don’t have a lot of recent practice with honesty, but try and remember what it sounds like. If you’re not willing to go that far, then you won’t keep me here. And you don’t want to.”

“Of course I want to! You’re my--” Xe had to hand it to him; he stopped before ‘daughter’ this time. He was trying. “Family. And you belong here.”

“Do you want to leave Issac unprotected? Out there? He’s your family. He’s hurt. Are you going to abandon him?”

“This is madness.”

“I told you that I’d defend them. From anyone and anything. I meant that.” Not a hero’s oath, but the one that came from xyr heart.

“What about Jamie?”

“I don’t know yet. But you’ll protect her, won’t you?”

Papa sank down on the futon, hands over his eyes. “There is nothing about this that I don’t hate.”

“But you will.”

He scowled at the ceiling from behind his hand. “Yes, of course I will.”

Silence swallowed them up, and Yael noticed the rain for the first time. Rain was supposed to cleanse. Yael didn’t feel cleansed, but at least some things between them were out. The inside of xyr head felt a little cleaner for it.

Eventually Yael commented, “I think that was the quietest fight we’ve ever had.”

“I think I lost.”

* * *

“Ms. Tillman-Voss? Your brother would like to see you.” The nurse looked at Jamie and Opal, and all the empty chairs in the private waiting room. “Is your mother not here?”

“She went for coffee,” Jamie answered automatically. That had been three hours ago, but it still stood. Jamie had no doubt that wherever Mom was, she’d have a cup of coffee with her. Jamie explaining the morning to Mom hadn’t gone well. Jamie stood, then hesitated, looking back at Opal. “Can you--?”

“I’ll wait here,” Opal assured. It helped. Opal had been sitting with Jamie this whole time, even though Jamie was too full of waiting to be any kind of good company. She’d spent most of the last hour giving Jamie entertaining summaries of Gothic novels with unflattering appraisals of characters’ decision-making abilities. She’d kept it up, even though Jamie didn’t have it in her to laugh at anything right now. They made her almost smile and kept her partially occupied, and that was more than Jamie could have asked for.

Jamie glanced back over her shoulder as she followed the nurse out, getting one more sympathetic smile and encouraging wave from Opal before following the nurse down the same hall her dad had disappeared down three hours ago. She hadn’t seen or heard from him, since. She told herself it was because a broken bone could take a while to treat.

Issac was sitting up, awake and lucid, when Jamie slipped quietly into the room. The nurse shut the door behind her, leaving the two of them alone. His lips weren’t blue. His eyes were focused, if bloodshot. He had on two medical bracelets and a white paper card in each hand. One large, one small. The sensors were still on his forehead. He watched her with trepidation, licking his lips.

Jamie almost tripped over her shoes crossing the space between them. She wrapped both arms around him and pulled him close enough that she could tell that he was warm, that he wasn’t shaking. She tried to make out a heartbeat, but her own heart was pounding too hard. He put one hand on her back, hesitantly. The hand didn’t shake or jerk. It was steady.

She took a deep breath, pulling away, and grabbed his pillow from behind him. She cataloged all the sensors on his head, his sternum, and his wrist bracelet. She aimed for his forearm and stomach, and hit him with the paper-wrapped pillow almost as hard as she could. “Never! Again!”

Issac raised his arms, trying to fend off the unexpected attack, but neglecting to grab the pillow. She gripped it, dragging it off the side of the bed, glaring at him with stinging eyes. Even if he didn’t know what she’d said, he should be able to work out why she was mad.

He was still for a second, hands still raised defensively, not sure whether she’d strike another fluffy vinyl blow. That was fair; she wasn’t sure she wasn’t going to hit him again. She was gratified to see him frantically searching for an appropriate response.

Tentatively, he reached out a hand, and that was enough invitation. She grabbed him in another tight hug, dropping the pillow back on the bed so she could grab him with both hands and be sure she could feel him breathing. “You jerk. I threw up four times because of you. If you ever try that again, next time I’m just going to let you--” She couldn’t finish the sentence. Couldn’t even finish the thought. Didn’t want the twitching, blue-lipped vision it conjured up. She realized belatedly there was no way he could hold a tablet, because he was actually hugging her back this time. She was just as happy he hadn’t heard her threat. She sniffed hard, trying not to get snot on his paper pajamas, and squeezed him again.

He answered anyway. “I promise not to ask you to do something like that again. Sorry.”

She muttered with her head on his shoulder. “You better not. Practically gave me a heart attack.”

“Liar. Your cardio system is like the only thing on you that halfway works right.”

Jamie startled, letting go. “You heard me!” Oh thank G-d, it was over. Whatever came next, it would all have to work out. Issac's gambit had paid off. Mom and Dad would have to forgive them for it eventually, now. She was almost lightheaded with relief.

“No. I’m wearing the contacts.”

Shit. She could see it cost him to even say it. But seeing him turn red in the face was good. Red wasn’t blue.

“Oh. Well. I’m glad you can use those now. I can’t even tell the difference!” He couldn’t hear her tone, but she was pretty sure it was still unconvincing. Not because it wasn’t true, but because of everything she knew would come with it. She gripped the paper of his hospital gown. “So…are you OK?”

He didn’t look at her this time, watching his own hand tap the sheets. “Well, I’m not dead. There doesn’t seem to be any more brain damage. Still can’t hear. So, mostly the same, I guess. My back hurts,” he added offhandedly. Jamie’s gut flipped, remembering the unnatural looking way it had bowed off the bed. “But I guess…mostly the same.”

He turned his hand over. There was a handwritten notecard in it, in an unfamiliar handwriting. You are in the hospital due to a seizure. Some confusion and soreness-- He closed his hand around the card, then looked at the other card, which seemed to be a business card. He didn’t turn that around, so she couldn’t read it.

“So uhm. I guess my experiment got someone’s attention at the APB--”

Her hand clenched around the paper of his shirt again. She looked down at his wrist. He wasn’t cuffed to the hospital bed or anything. Looked around the room. No sign of any security measures beyond the default.

Issac was OK, but would he stay OK? Would they ship him off to some hellish prison in Detroit? Issac couldn’t make it in a place like that-- hearing or not.

Jamie couldn’t protect him from that. From anything. “We’re at the APB,” she interrupted. He paused, then looked around the room, realizing it was true. “MARTIN called them,” Jamie added furiously. Stupid super-intelligent security system didn’t understand the risk it was putting Issac through.

“Oh. MARTIN.” He was quiet so long she had to squish the urge to bend over and check his eyes, to make sure they weren’t rolled back. Then he took an expansive breath. “Anyway, this guy who works with the APB is interested in my research. He offered me a job.” His eyes skittered up to meet hers. “And I took it.”

They stared at each other. He had the good sense to look a little hangdog. Finally, Jamie spoke, trying to sound as even-keel as possible. “I don’t want this to sound mean, but I think they should scan your brain for injuries again.”

Issac looked supremely unimpressed, but pointed at a monitor with a display that meant nothing to her. “Read all you want. I have.” He held up his phone. “I even got some notes from them.” He shifted, sitting straighter and warming to his subject. “Look, this is what I need. Just…some space to figure things out. Some backup so I can work without…” He gestured at the machinery behind him without actually looking at any of it. Jamie's eyes skimmed along them. There were a lot of them. A lot of things the doctors were worried about.

Legal protection. That was worth a lot. Was it more than their family could provide?

“But you live with Mom,” Jamie attempted to reason. “She owns everything in your lab.”

He frowned. “Well, obviously I’m going to have to move out. That’s fine. I’m old enough.”

Jamie thought of Mom’s torn up cuticles and the cracks in the dark glaze on her nails. This morning, the cracks had been gone, and the plum glaze traded out for a less obvious nude color. Tidied up, but with the expectation of future chips.

“I was going to move out soon, anyway. What’s a few months’ difference?”

“Mom’s going to see a difference.”

“Well, then that’s her problem,” he answered with attempted glibness. Jamie’s heart sank. “Yael wants you to come. With us. Xe’s moving out with me. As a bodyguard kind of thing. I don’t mind. If you want to.”

She made up her mind in an instant. She’d failed Issac once already today. She couldn’t quit now. She nodded, just once, and he seemed both pleased and surprised.

She’d figure this out one way or another.

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