#at least for mikan | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

everythingsinred · 10 months

Text

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 26)

The real action begins today, and we'll start to build up towards false climax to this story. This arc is long, and we'll undoubtedly jump around a bit, though less than in Natsume's version. Though it might seem like love would take a backseat in such a stressful arc that all takes place during one night, that's entirely not the case!

<- Prev Next ->

Chapter Ninety-Six

We rejoin Mikan after the events of the last chapter, her head out her window, watching Natsume leave, concerned about both him and Tsubasa.

Then, it’s the next day, and Mikan is at school like usual, getting back into the swing of things. She sees Narumi for the first time since she stole Persona’s alice from his arm. She rushes to embrace him, emotional to see that he’s okay after that whole ordeal. Like I said, there’s a theme of potential and real loss in this arc, with the threat of Mikan’s loved ones being taken from her. Each person she doesn’t lose is a relief, and I think that her concern about Tsubasa and Natsume added to the emotions she feels here. At least she won’t be losing Narumi-sensei.

But he has something to tell her, something that will have to wait until after classes. He asks her to hear him out and take him seriously, and by that alone Mikan knows that whatever he has to say will be important. But she trusts him, so she smiles and agrees easily.

The tie back to the letters chapter at the beginning; him requesting trust and her giving it easily. I don't know.

The sad thing about this little period of time now is that Mikan knows she’s on thin ice, that she could fall through at any minute. She’s aware that things have been changing and that they are due to come crashing down soon. Everyone else is planning around her, and with zero coordination, with Yuka and her posse planning one thing, Narumi something else, Natsume trying his best, Hotaru and Ruka keeping their own secrets, and the ESP planning on taking her for himself. When it does all crash, Mikan is swept away and overwhelmed by it all, understandably. For all of her anxiety about what’s to come, she is by no means prepared for any of it.

After class, Mikan is in a hurry to see Narumi again to hear him out like she agreed, but she runs into Luna, who uses her alice to cause a commotion regarding gossip about Mikan having the stealing alice. It escalates when rumors start that Mikan is actually Yuka’s daughter, related to someone who was a traitor to the academy and stole the students’ alices.

This is more than just bullying--Luna is trying to trigger Mikan into using her stealing alice to protect herself. Though her friends are already trying to do what they can to protect her, Mikan is still put on the spot, forced to confront nasty rumors about her parentage, alice, Tsubasa--

And it’s when they insult her favorite senpai that Mikan gets angry enough to finally act. Although she sure didn’t like being insulted, it’s only when they start trash-talking Tsubasa that she gets really pissed. (It’s very sweet.)

Though Mikan doesn’t get the chance to actually do anything because Misaki-senpai is there again, beating the bullies up and dragging Mikan away to safety.

Heart-wrenching!

“If Tsubasa was here, he’d surely do this,” she tells Mikan, and Mikan is touched to be so thoroughly loved and cared for, to have a reminder that Misaki-senpai and Tsubasa both care very much about her and that she has allies who will protect her no matter what.

But they don’t get far before one of the Luna-controlled bullies reaches his hand out to hurt Misaki with his alice. Mikan doesn’t have a choice this time, because she always does what she can to protect the people she loves, so she nullifies his alice.

This scene in particular highlights Mikan’s protective nature and her willingness to do anything for her loved ones, in this case Tsubasa and Misaki, who always look out for her. This is her way of sticking up for them for once, to pay back the endless support they always give her. Last summer, Mikan wanted to be the kind of person who could sacrifice things for the people she cared about, who could protect someone she loved. This summer, that’s exactly what she does, starting with protecting Misaki.

She tries to defend herself but she gets taken away anyway, grabbed by the fukitai to the ESP’s office. They don’t care that she didn’t really use the stealing alice. They don’t care that she acted in self-defense. There’s no Goshima tricks here, nobody to swoop in and lead her back to safety. This time she’s caught for real. The dominos are falling.

She has a lot of friends who are concerned about her, naturally, so a fight will start to build up without her, but for her. In the meantime, Mikan is taken to the ESP’s office, who has been patiently biding his time for this very moment. He’s waited a long time for a chance like this, so he seems deceptively pleasant, smiling at her as he welcomes her to the DA class. His hand was forced, apparently. He wanted to take a little more time, but his enemies were about to start making moves, so he had to act before them.

The cat’s out of the bag: Mikan’s stealing alice is revealed and she’s now in the snake’s den, the worst possible people now know her secret. The DA class, Persona, and Luna are also there to welcome her, though everyone remains quiet except for the ESP, because this is his show. Everyone else in the room is nothing more than a pawn.

But being your favorite isn't usually that great, is it?

Narumi rushes into the room right as Mikan and Luna are fighting, apparently in an effort to demonstrate the stealing alice to the ESP, who is watching with glee. Apparently, Mikan made a fuss when she was brought in, and why shouldn’t she? She’s not the type to tolerate mistreatment and even if it was an authority like the ESP, she’d stand up for herself anyway.

(And then the ESP praises “the girl [Narumi] brought into the Academy,” and how devastating for Narumi, who had been acting in his self interest when he first enrolled Mikan without knowing that only a year later he’d do his very best to get her out of the school, realizing too late the mistake he had made.)

The ESP’s ecstatic reaction to watching Mikan steal Luna’s alice is pretty disturbing. We can see from just his laughter that Mikan would not be having an easy time in the DA class (not that any DA kids do…), especially since he called her his “favorite.” It’s always the favorites that are given special treatment… and that are treated the worst at the same time.

Luna is furious that she’s been humiliated in front of the principal and demands that Mikan return her alice, and then Nobara is commanded to capture Mikan with her ice alice.

It feels like a helpless situation, and the ESP even confirms it. No matter how hard Mikan fights, she can’t escape this fate. It’s the end. This is her new life. Nobody will help her. Not even Narumi can do anything anymore. It’s done.

Luna attacks her, and it does feel hopeless, like the ESP might be right, that nobody can help her and that she’s doomed.

But then Luna’s hair suddenly catches fire and Mikan is pulled away from the immediate danger by an unlikely ally--Hayate… who isn’t actually Hayate, but rather Natsume wearing a wig.

How ridiculous that they didn't even notice "Hayate" was just Natsume in a wig. Do they just usually pay that little attention to Hayate that he could be Natsume in a wig most of the time and they'd never pick up on it? Little Hayate musings.

Chapter Ninety-Seven

Mikan stares at Natsume’s back because he is once again surprising her, countering her expectations. He’s there to protect her, to save her, to keep her from that doomed fate. Apparently, the ESP even tried sending Natsume on a mission to keep him away from this scene, but he’d managed to sneak his way in anyway.

And Mikan asks why he’s here and is obviously confused and overwhelmed.

Narumi, a teacher, couldn’t help her.

Why should Natsume be different? He’s just a child. What can he really do? Just by standing there? Can he do anything? Does he even know the trouble he’s about to be in? There’s no way to escape. He’s just doomed himself along with her.

All valid points.

Until Natsume starts talking.

“Shut up.” Off to a great start.

And the mask is off this time. Natsume’s not hiding behind a teasing pretense anymore. He has no reason to hold back anymore, so now Mikan has to hear the truth, what she has wanted Natsume to say during the Sports Fest, what she was afraid he would never feel. NO MORE PRETEND.

Natsume is not just rebelling, he’s rebelling for her, not any other reason. Because he loves her, and he says so, in front of everybody, in front of her. He makes a vow of protection, and Mikan can only stare.

Confirmation, Mikan!

And if we don’t get Mikan’s responding thoughts to that, it’s because we never do. Just “Natsume…” That’s all she can say to herself, to us. My theory is that hearing it right from his mouth was such an overwhelming shock, especially when combined with everything else going on, that she doesn’t have the mental capacity to process his confession, something she might not have been able to process on a good day anyway. We know how repressive she can get.

Mikan avoids all thoughts that make her uncomfortable, that freak her out, that confuse her, that put her on the spot. Natsume’s confession does all of that when she’s already thoroughly uncomfortable, freaked out, confused, and on the spot. So she doesn’t respond and she doesn’t even say anything to us that might suggest how she feels about hearing the confession. We can only guess, and my guess is that she’s OVER THE MOON to hear it.

After the Borrowing Race, Mikan really wanted the masked person to be Natsume. Her biggest concern was confronting him about it, but she was going to. And we know that she was devastated when Luna said Natsume was watching from afar. She didn’t think about who else it could be, just that she was upset it wasn’t Natsume. Because she wants Natsume to love her and always has. He’s telling her--and everyone else here--that he loves her now, and I can’t imagine that it doesn’t make her happy to know that after everything, she was right all along.

Natsume uses his alice and it’s clear he’s gonna try to escape with her. Nobara is commanded to stop Natsume’s flames and keep them from running away. Mikan and Nobara have always had a deep connection, bonded by feelings of uselessness and insecurity about their alices. Even though they’ve only met a few times, Mikan cares deeply about Nobara. And now Nobara is the only person who can help or stop her and Natsume from escaping.

So much happening at once!

Mikan always thinks of herself as useless, and it’s sad to see her have such a low opinion of herself when she makes such a difference in people’s lives just by being kind, by seeing the value in others, by making friends indiscriminately. If Mikan weren’t so kind, so friendly, so sweet, Nobara might not have acted in defiance against Persona.

Mikan knows that Nobara will be in trouble for assisting them, but they can’t linger, so they escape with Narumi, though Luna follows for a while, still trying to get her alice back.

Natsume and Mikan run while holding hands, Narumi accompanying them. Mikan is preoccupied with the chase and with concern for Nobara, who put herself on the line for her. Yet again, Mikan can’t linger on any one thought because something else is always happening. They’re being attacked, then rescued, then separated from their classmates who rebelled on their own at the same time, separated from Hotaru--

How is Mikan supposed to be able to think about anything when everything is happening all at once? I think it makes sense that Natsume doesn’t get a response or even acknowledgement of his feelings right now.

They keep running, and Natsume uses a lot of his alice fighting off enemies, until he suddenly collapses and there’s one more concern added to the mix. Natsume brushes it off, but Mikan is obviously concerned about his condition. He tries to get Mikan and Narumi to go on without him, but Mikan won’t hear it. They couldn’t take Nobara or their friends along with them, but she won’t leave Natsume, especially in this condition, to be fodder for the fukitai while she runs away.

And Narumi plans around it anyway, switching places with Natsume, as he should since he’s the adult and a teacher whose job it is to protect his students. He’ll keep the fukitai busy while Natsume and Mikan escape. Mikan doesn’t really like this option either, hesitant to leave a loved one behind, but Narumi is an adult and he seems to know what he’s doing, telling them they’ll meet again at the Hana Hime Den.

It’s finally time for Narumi to tell her what he’d meant to say earlier: he wants to run away from the school with her.

He’s making sense. The school’s not safe for either of them anymore. He’s an adult who has already made the arrangements for an escape, transportation, and housing outside. He’s a teacher she loves and trusts and once even called “Dad.” He doesn’t expect an answer right away because of how harsh the prospect is, but he insists she considers it--a hard ask since she hasn’t had much time to consider anything--and he runs off.

Mikan is forced to cope with a lot of choices tonight, and this is just the first of a long string of them. She might have to leave the school, leave all her friends, leave Natsume.

She's always counted him as separate, but that's as much confirmation that she loves him too as we're gonna get for a while.

I think it’s interesting that Natsume is a separate part of the equation. She still doesn’t reveal much with her thoughts, but the little hints we get are a good insight into how she’s feeling right now. Mikan has, as we’ve already discussed, always viewed Natsume as “different.” The feelings she has for him are unique and this uniqueness has always confused her. He never fit the role of “friend,” the way her other classmates did. For a time, “partner” was the convenient label, a connection in nothing much but name until it was a connection that couldn’t be named, especially when the “partner” label was taken away. Now Natsume is just Natsume, in his own category.

So Mikan doesn’t want to leave her friends, her classmates, her senpais, her teachers… her Natsume, who is his own thing.

Chapter Ninety-Eight

Though Mikan doesn’t want to leave Narumi on his own, Natsume is tugging her along anyway, asserting that Narumi--the adult--can take care of himself. Natsume dutifully takes her to the Hanahimeden as agreed and Mikan can only think about her concerns for the friends she’s been parted from. The pursuers seem to be gone, so it’s just the two of them now, Natsume holding onto her hand.

Mikan is taken out of her preoccupations when Natsume finally speaks, asking her if she’s really gonna leave with Narumi. He doesn’t really wait for her to reply either, telling her that he wants to take her hand and escape with her himself, if only he were an adult. That’s the only reason it’s not the two of them leaving right this second: they’re both helpless, powerless children.

Natsume doesn’t usually say such sweet things. Mikan has been recently confronted with Natsume being oddly honest and open with her, telling her how he feels. He has nothing holding him back anymore, after all, so why not be honest? Mikan still hasn’t responded to his love confession, and this is just an extension of that same feeling: I love you and I don’t want to leave you.

There's so much going on here...

She tears up and looks at his back (like always, like always, like always--because even if he’s honest, he always confesses these things with his back to her). All she says is “Me too,” because she has her back to him too (metaphorically). She can’t say more than that. “Me too,” to all of it, without saying all of it. She’s still not ready to say it, to think it. “I don’t want to be separated; I don’t want to let go of this hand,” is something she keeps to herself. She’s just echoing his own thoughts, and that’s important because there’s no point tonight where her feelings don’t perfectly match his. He doesn’t want to pass her onto someone else? She doesn’t want that either. What else has he said tonight? Whatever it was, she feels it too, but “me too,” is all she can say for now.

For now.

They’re brought in to meet Himemiya, who shares instantly that Hotaru will be sent out of the school for a couple years on a trainee program and that Ruka, who is labeled as a leader of the rebellion, will be seriously punished for his role. Both Natsume and Mikan are confronted by the collateral damage of their standing against the ESP, with Himemiya asking if Mikan is prepared to face the consequences of her actions. I think that’s a fucked up thing to say to a child, but whatever.

What’s the alternative here? Going along with the status quo here means allowing the ESP to use Mikan as he sees fit, something nobody can tolerate because it means returning him to full power and living forever this way. But Natsume didn’t tolerate it because he knew Mikan would be terribly abused if she joined the DA class, and though no teachers cared about him getting abused, he would step in to help her.

One thing I've learned from writing this essay is that I really dislike Himemiya, LMAO.

What’s the alternative, Himemiya? Fuck off.

Chapter Ninety-Nine

Shortly after this needless and cruel conversation with Himemiya, Mikan reunites with Hotaru, who was rescued by Hayate. They hug and finally Hotaru addresses her transfer, something she’d kept to herself for a while.

Hotaru completely refutes Himemiya’s nonsense about this being Mikan’s fault. Hotaru doesn’t blame Mikan, so Mikan shouldn’t blame herself. Everyone rebelled because they believe in Mikan, because they want to support her and what she stands for. Hotaru is Mikan’s best friend. She’ll always be in her corner.

Just like Natsume was being honest, it’s Hotaru’s turn. For all of her acting like Mikan is a nuisance, she’s treasured every moment they shared at the academy. Whatever happens going forward, it’s not Mikan’s fault. She asserts that this separation is temporary and different from last time. They’re communicating about it now, for one, and Hotaru knows it won’t be forever. They will definitely see each other again.

I like how Himemiya says that nonsense and then everyone afterward just quickly rebukes it.

And Mikan agrees, but she wishes none of this had happened, that they could go back to the way things were, so she didn’t have to be separated from Hotaru, so she could grow up with her and live a normal, happy life by her best friend’s side. It’s a similar wish to the one she had for Natsume. Not wanting to be separated. They’re both precious to her, and the main driving thread here is the strong wish that there was no need for a rebellion, that there was no danger to run from.

Again, the theme here is loss. First there was Natsume, a false alarm, then Narumi, saved in the nick of time, then Tsubasa, still a mystery. Now, both Hotaru and Ruka’s fates are up in the air and Mikan is faced with the sudden reality that she might lose the people she cares about most. The ESP’s Christmas warning feels more potent than ever. Nothing is safe.

Mikan’s attention is brought to one of the alice stones around her neck, particularly Sakurano’s, because she’s “resonating” with him, meaning that he’s calling for her. One of the alices in the stone is teleportation, and by holding onto each other, Mikan, Hotaru, and Natsume can all be teleported to wherever Sakurano is.

Himemiya says one more cryptic thing before they disappear: “Say hello to your mother for me.”

Poor Mikan gets so much strange information at once, little vague comments about her mother, Hotaru leaving, Natsume loving her, Narumi planning to take her way--all so much at once. It’s hard to keep up with it all, so she can’t linger when they end up in the High School Principal’s office, facing Sakurano, Subaru, and Narumi, who is safe after all. Nodacchi then teleports with Ruka in tow, so the four are finally reunited.

I think we can all agree that we should've had more of them as a friend group instead of just a group of people who are all in love with Mikan, only tied together by that fact. The latter is kinda boring to me, not gonna lie.

Chapter One Hundred

Hey guys. We’re officially at the very long part of the manga where things get technical and lore-heavy, with emphasis switching onto the past, and then in a more broad sense, into “running away” and escaping, which… is fun and all but not fun to analyze for me. SO, just like with the Natsume version of this essay, I might not have many things to say about each chapter. Thanks for understanding.

Mikan is meeting her uncle for the first time, the man behind the curtain who has been pulling the strings to protect her to the best of his ability the whole time. (I can only imagine how irritated he was with Narumi for bringing her in to the ESP in the first place.) He also breaks the sad news to her that her father passed away before she was even born. But there’s no time to have a chat about it. This is a dire situation and Mikan needs to get out of here and to safety immediately, specifically with her mother, Azumi Yuka.

This is a shock to everyone--Narumi isn’t happy to hear this--but Mikan just got several bombs dropped at once. One, her long-elusive mother was Yuka, who stole her friend’s alice and was involved in another friend getting shot with a poison bullet. Two, she’ll be escaping with this person, and not Narumi or Natsume or anybody else she knows, and spending the rest of who knows how long with Yuka on the run. Third, these arrangements were all decided for her without any of her input.

It’s all connecting. Her mother, that woman, the Z member…

It’s a lot to take in, as if she wasn’t being confronted with enough shockers.

You don't want to? That's not something they're really prioritizing, Mikan. That's not something they ever prioritized.

Mikan pipes up that she doesn’t want to run away with Yuka, a person who for all Mikan knows has done nothing but damage. She also doesn’t want to be the only one protected and looked after. Her friends are in danger too!

But Himemiya is even further rebuked (why did she say that? So shitty.). This whole endeavor isn’t about protecting only Mikan. Everyone would be in danger if the ESP got his hands on her. Mikan is a weapon the ESP can’t be allowed to have access to. She isn’t expected to understand right away, but she is expected to comply, and that’s where her friends have issues.

Natsume complains that Mikan shouldn’t just be lectured; just because they’re on the same side against the ESP doesn’t mean the kids will cooperate with them. In his mind, they’re a unit, the four of them, and they won’t just obey blindly to everything the adults say. He didn’t rebel just to fall into line again with a new set of adults. That means a lot to Mikan, to have this group of people who are primarily interested in her safety and well-being, whereas the adults in the room seem to be more preoccupied with the greater good.

He demands they be properly convinced, so that even he could agree to allow Mikan to go with Yuka. Ruka chimes in with something similar, that Mikan has been through enough and should have a say in what happens next.

“The one who will choose is Sakura, not you adults.”

I think Ruka taking his future "rejection" so well is tied to his utmost respect for her agency that he demonstrates here. She has the right to choose and he will always respect that. Any and all fanfic that have Ruka behaving in any other way are grossly misinterpreting his character.

This is a pretty important line, in my opinion, because it relates to how important it is that Mikan has agency in this situation. For most of the manga, Mikan has been oblivious to everything. Narumi personally withheld her alice from her until she underwent a dangerous and unnecessary entrance exam. She was enrolled without knowledge of what she was sacrificing, namely contact with her grandpa. She was unfairly targeted and then wasn’t even given information about why she was targeted. Though multiple people already knew that Mikan was Yuka’s daughter, this information was kept secret from her. Her own stealing alice was kept a secret from her for months before she figured it out on her own. She was after that told to keep it a secret too, without being given an elaboration as to why. Mikan has for most of the manga been an unwitting puppet, kept oblivious to things that directly concerned her, for the sake of the greater good.

Mikan hasn’t had agency up til now. She hasn’t been allowed to make her own informed decisions. She’s been lied to and manipulated, particularly by adults who think they know what’s best for her. This moment is important because her friends are standing up for her, claiming that she should have the right to choose what she does next. She should be given all the relevant information and allowed to make a decision for herself. For fucking once.

Agency is such a huge part of Mikan’s story that it genuinely sickens me when people brush it over, including Higuchi Tachibana herself. Mikan’s agency is important in lots of ways, particularly regarding her life and what she does with her alice and school life, sure, but her love life is a part of that as well. And I feel like Mikan’s feelings and choices in regards to romance are frequently disregarded or even not considered at all, and I have a huge problem with that.

The one who will choose is Mikan, thanks! (And she does!)

I get a little antsy from here on out when it comes to this story, but we'll carry on, because there's nothing else to do.

In any case, the HSP agrees to this, telling Noda to take the kids on a trip to the past to find out more about Yuka. They still don’t have time to discuss it in depth, so this time traveling will be a compromise. After Mikan has seen everything she needs to see, she will be able to make her own decision for what comes next.

Conclusion

Poor Mikan gets confronted with shocker after shocker in this arc and all in one night with very little time to process anything. The fact that she'll somehow get around to addressing the love question tonight with everything else going on is actually impressive! But not yet. Next time, we'll delve into Yuka's backstory and how it affects Mikan.

I always find these initial chapters before the Time-Travel Arc pretty fascinating from an analytical stance, and there's a lot to say about everything here, but the chapters afterward get a little less so. Thus, less consistent analysis. I will do my best!

<- Prev Next ->

#gakuen alice #alice academy #ga #sakura mikan #mikan sakura #natsume hyuuga #hyuuga natsume #my meta #ga meta #ga meta: nm #ga meta: manga #ga meta: manga nm #let's talk about natsumikan #let's talk about natsumikan: mikan #nm: m song of the day.....#is runaway by yeah yeah yeahs #idk. its an escape arc right? the rest of these parts should be easier to choose songs for! im excited for that at least if nothing else #lets hope this has 35 parts rather than 40 or smth scary like that. though...#im suspicious it'll be 40. im so scared

9 notes · View notes