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phoenixyfriend · 7 months

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Ko-fi prompt from Becky:

I actually would love to hear where ticket/concession/merch money for concerts go. If someone has already asked about that, can you do something similar for a sports game of your choice?

Already got a request for concerts, but I can do the sports game!

So, let's go with... baseball. I've been to professional baseball games ('twas the Ducks), even if it's been a Very Long Time, so that's the one I have some perspective on. Who is in control of the money any given game (as in, who owns the stadium and the home team) varies by place and sport, so let's use the Mets and Citi Field as our example when we need a specific.

Mostly, this is because I'm in New York and so it's down to either them or the Yankees, and between the two... the Mets, through a wholly owned subsidiary, Queens Ballpark Company, are the ones that actually own their ballpark, which makes a few things easier and includes a Fun Fact about the naming. It also means that I can treat the team and the stadium as one singular entity instead of waffling over who gets to be the Main Character of this simulation. It's not exactly uncommon for teams to own their own stadiums, but it's not most of them.

(The Mets, btw, are owned in large part by a hedge fund manager. Like, 95% of the team stock is owned by this one guy. Why can't more sports be like the Packers and just belong to the city.)

In this case, I will be referring to the Forbes article on Citi Field's revenue for 2022 as a guide or framework, as they have an actual image of the financial report; they don't do much explaining of the actual data, though, so my part will be explaining the less-obvious things and doing some maths. A few other articles will also be cited as they come in useful.

I'll also note that the Mets are a very expensive team operating at a loss, but they still work for our purposes.

MONEY COMING IN:

Tickets, most obviously

To quote the wiki article on Major League Baseball:

"MLB is the second-wealthiest professional sport league by revenue after the National Football League (NFL). [...] MLB has the highest total season attendance of any sports league in the world; in 2018, it drew more than 69.6 million spectators."

I didn't know that until I started researching for this post, but it makes sense. After all, baseball is "the American pastime." The Forbes article cites average attendance of 33,000 per home game. The stadium seat about 41,900, so we're looking at roughly 79% attendance. This is fine, because attendance is not the only stream of revenue.

Advertising

If you have seen a professional sports game in the past however many years, you have seen that, depending on the type of court, they are plastered in advertising. Let's take a look at Citi Field:

(Image Source: MLB website)

The Forbes article states that the stadium makes about $48.5 million per year from advertising. About $28.5 million of that comes from the various 'temporary' and long-term ads, the Nikon and Geico and Toyota and Coca Cola, etc.

$20 million of it comes from one company. I'm going to quote Wikipedia again:

The naming rights were purchased by Citigroup, a New York financial services company, for $20 million annually.

This is not uncommon! ESPN has an article about it, and some standout examples are Bank of America Stadium, Coors Field, Delta Center, FedEx Field and FedEx Forum, General Motors Place, Gillette Stadium, Heinz Field, and the list just goes on. I'm not even sure if the list is up to date, because I'm seeing even more articles elsewhere with higher figures.

Concessions

The financial report that Forbes cites has $22mill in concessions. This is not entirely surprising. Going by this page, we're looking at... 84 home games in that 2022 season. Let's assume that 33,000 average cited earlier. That's 2,772,000 attendees over the course of the season. So, what, a little under $10 per attendance tick? Entirely plausible. A hot dog plus a soda is $15, so... that tracks.

Parking

Apparently parking is, collectively, about $13mill annually. That's... genuinely a little concerning to me, for uh. Reasons. Also parking is $40.

(A lot of people go to games via train, if anyone's interested.)

Luxury Suite Premiums

I had to google this one, but uh. Turns out those fancy private box seats are even fancier and more private than I thought, bringing in over $10 mill a year.

Other Revenue - Stadium, undefined

"Other Revenue" and "post season revenue" are not given any further information, but they're about $16.5 mill so. They're definitely doing their part? Wish we had more information.

One guess is that there are events in the vein of the Citi Field Spring Carnival that contribute to the revenue through either fees to the stadium (if this is a carnival that rents the parking lot) or concessions and tickets (if the stadium rents a carnival).

Other Revenue - to the team that is not direct operating income of the stadium itself

Not counting the "other revenue" section of the financial statement, the Forbes article tells us that:

National broadcasting deals with Fox, ESPN and TBS that pay over $60 million a year to every MLB team, as well as the local cable fee the Mets get from SNY, which is over $80 million a year.

That's another $140mill in addition to the $244mill that the financial report cites.

Merchandise - not direct stadium revenue.

Get your Mets hats here! And your jerseys! And your logo bats! And your commemorative plushies! And--

MONEY GOING OUT

Operations

This one's easy: you have to pay wages to your employees, from the players themselves to the food sellers to janitorial to security to field maintenance, etc. Also, you have to pay for utilities (those billboards and floodlights aren't cheap), product to sell (frozen hot dogs), supplementary materials for products you sell (plastic cups, paper for the ticket machines, bags for garbage cans, and so on), and repairs/maintenance for the stands themselves (can't imagine they get through a season with all 41,900 seats intact).

Player salaries (and a few others, like the coach) aren't actually included in stadium revenue, but since the stadium is owned by the team, we're bundling them together for the sake of this case.

Payment in Lieu of Taxes

So this is an interesting one, and while the Forbes article does touch on it, there's a bit more detail to the story.

Citi Field was built in 2009, and the process cost $850 million. Of that, $615 was public subsidies. A lot of this was municipal bonds, which the Mets have to pay back with interest for the lifetime of the park; those municipal bond repayments are an offset, and in return for paying tens of millions in municipal bond repayments each year (the 2022 report shows about $43.5 mill), Citi Field does not have to pay property taxes.

Wikipedia only cites property taxes, but the financial report doesn't include any other taxes, so I'll assume the only other taxes they're on the hook for are sales and payroll, which aren't displayed in the financial report.

Parking

Right, so, parking as a bundle is about $7.5 mill in expenses, which means that parking alone has a marginal profit of about 42.3%, given the earlier figure of $13mill in parking revenue. I'm not finding any solid information on where that money goes, but it seems very like that New York City's taxes on land use for parking is not included in the property tax exemption we discussed above, and that most of the $7.5 mill is in that regard.

Post Season Expenses

I'll be honest, they don't define this $1.8 mill, but given what is and isn't included in the other sections, I'm going to hazard a guess that this may be about upgrades (more than maintenance) or replacement of physical billboards that are also not included as regular maintenance but require a lot of manpower to get up and set if complicated enough.

General and Administrative

This is the other possible allocation of the utilities and related payments. This is also where back of house activities like accountants, lawyer fees, payroll clerks, facilities managers, and so on are bundled in. It's about $5.5 mill.

Publicity and Promotions

This one's easy, it's just marketing that doesn't fall into General Mets Things and is rather for home games specifically.

Depreciation and Amortization

Bit trickier, but you know how a car loses value the second you drive it off the lot? That is depreciation. You paid $20,000 for a car, but two years later it's worth $16,000; on a financial report, you put that down as a $4,000 loss to depreciation. Amortization is similar, in that it lowers values of various assets in relation to time and relative value to what it was when new.

Interest Expenses

Expenses related directly to interest rates tend to get their own line separate from regular debt repayments. This isn't really relevant beyond 'loans are more expensive than when you first get them.'

Travel and League Expenses

Since this is a traveling team, being professionals, and a Major League Baseball Team in particular, money has to be spent on the plane rides, team bus, and of course, the league fees. I wanted to end that a bit more pithy, but it turns out it's not easy to find league fees for the MLB.

(A new team joining would have to pay about $2.2 billion, according to one article, while previous new additions were a couple hundred mill, so... 100 mill? Maybe?)

Hope that answers your question!

#economics #capitalism #phoenix talks #ko fi #ko fi prompts #research #baseball #the mets #citi field #sports #business #financial reports

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peterparkerincorrectquotes · 2 years

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For character opinion bingo

Miles morales Spiderman and spider Gwen from into the spider verse :)

the movie was very good so I don’t know why I didn’t hyperfixate on it!!!!! i’m not as mentally ill about these two but I think they are neat :]

#seriously have no idea why I didn’t hyperfixate on it #it’s got the found family dynamic that I love #I think maybe I was hyperfixating on something else when I first watched it so it didn’t latch on #next time I have no hyperfixation maybe i’ll rewatch it LMAO #maybe then i’ll adopt it #also when I first watched the movie…… gwen ❤️❤️❤️#mcu #marvel #miles morales #spiderman #spider gwen #ask parky #centimeter-tries-to-communicate

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yuco-the-alien116 · 8 months

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so, how's the au going?

So sorry I have been on ask- but I will start explaining stuff that going on in the AU!

Chapter 1: Meeting

Parky meets the Detective while he is working, delivering case files to him that he needs to solve cases. Parky gets a little spooked by the detective due to his size and gets more nervous when he invites him inside his office cus he is fixing his broken-down bike!

Parky gets scared and runs off, The Detective following close behind. Parky gets attacked by a person who has hurt him before, The Detective tries to de-escalate the situation, just enough to give Parky another chance to run when the person gets in their car.

Parky runs into an alleyway and the Detective comforts him, telling him everything this ok and such. The person is about to come back and find Parky when the detective eats him, with Parkys consent, and they trick the man for now and he walks back to his office.

He gets back to the office and Parky falls asleep, the detective slowly being attached to Parky. They almost get attacked again in the Detective's office but the guy, who is a deir wolf, gets scared away by the police.

This is all I remember for now, I will go and look back I'm just tired right now-

Anyways, more to come!

#cam speaks #ask #oc #oc Detective A #not my oc #Parky pumpkin #Au

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punk-chicken-radio · 1 month

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i'm FINE!!!

i'm pretty sure that both @theoldsmelly and myself have been inundated with our share of the question "well, but how are you DOING?" the last year or so. which i likely think led to this playlist being started. or it could have been a random song he heard on the radio that prompted it and i am just projecting my own run of death and destruction within my life onto his choice. tomato tomato. but since i am writing the intro, i delve into my own brain processing being asked this question a lot lately.

it never gets any easier to answer it. do you give people the unvarnished truth? that some days you are hanging on by a thread and are convinced grief and worry and survivor's guilt will consume you? that always seems to be a bit much for people to handle so i usually answer with "oh you know, i'm FINE." which truly i am, at my core, but it isn't quite the truth. and it's not anyone's fault for asking the question...even if the ability to answer it without your brain wanting to devolve into snarkiness is ever present.

how we tiptoe gently, or bulldoze straight ahead, into the orbit around people in our lives that are really going through something is always a bit fascinating to me. maybe because i keenly watched it as a child, wondering at the way people just had such wildly varying approaches to simply talking to someone who has just had great tragedy in their lives. there is no right way, and no wrong way, but you can tell a lot about a person's internal life, their own emotional state and coping skills, and their comfortability with the messiness of life by how easily they can have a hard conversation with you that doesn't just involve the "we just prayin' for y'all ♥️" bullshit after asking 'how are you doing??". it's not in everyone's wheelhouse to go any further than that, and that just is what it is. we aren't all built the same. i actually don't judge anyone for it, because for the most part...people asking how you are IS genuine, and that's gotta be enough in and of itself, even if you can't truthfully answer it most of the time. and even if you do, most people struggle to know how to respond.

thank you for coming to my ted talk i didn't mean to give on how when we ask someone how they are, we only know how to really receive the easy answer....'im FINE'.

sorry this went off the rails @theoldsmelly but you know.....you ASKED the question 🤣😂

you know what's next....some songs about being fine and dandy and some about NOT being fine and everything sucks.

love (i was worried i had the parkys) axiomatic and the old (take more drugs) smelly

*this intro led smelly to ask me if i was okay via gif which is the actual best way

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lostinwoso · 2 years

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Could you do a mapi x reader fic. Where reader gets an injury whilst away on international duty, when she comes back to Spain mapi looks after her and is worried to let her do anything.

A Bit Too Worried (Mapi León x Reader)

Sitting in the locker room, you mentally prepare yourself for the game that's just a few minutes away. It's an important game for your national team, winning this one would put the dream to play in the world cup next year in reach.

Taking one more deep breath, you leave the locker room to go into the tunnel, getting in your position in line. Walking out onto the field, you take one quick glance around the stadium before the National Anthems are being played.

After the anthems were played, and you shook hands with the opponents, you take your position on the field, rolling your shoulders once more to get rid of the tension.

When the whistle blows, signaling the start of the match, all your focus is on the ball and the dream to get your team to the world cup next year.

_________

It's now the second half, and you are pretty sure that this is one of the most exhausting games, you've ever had to play. With only 15 minutes left and the score still 0-0 the game started to get rougher, riskier tackled were being made left and right.

After a failed attack by the opponent your team regains the possession of the ball again, receiving a pass from your teammate, you see an open space. Making a run towards the opponent's goal, you search for an open teammate to pass to, but before you can even pass the ball, you feel a foot stepping onto your ankle, twisting it to the side, making you trip. Landing on your hand in a bad way.

Curling up on the floor, blinded by the pain, you don't even notice the argument that broke out between the both teams. The next thing you feel was the medics putting you on the gurney before taking you off the field.

_________

Sitting in the plane, you think about the game from yesterday, after you were taken off the team actually managed to score a last minute goal making your dream to play in the World Cup becoming reality. But the happiness you felt after hearing that, got slightly damped by the fact that you now have to sit out thanks to a grade 2 sprained ankle, that has you wearing one of those walking boots, and a broken wrist.

Your phone vibrating breaks you out of your thoughts, unlocking it, you see a message from your girlfriend Mapi.

'Just arrived at the airport, can't wait to see you mi amor ❤️'

Hearing the announcement that the plane is about to land, you send her a quick message back, letting her know that you are about to land and can't wait to see her too.

_________

After the plane landed, and you got your suitcase, you try to spot your girlfriend in the crowd of the airport, when you suddenly feel a pair of arms wrapping around you from behind you, "I missed you.".

Turning around, you wrap your arms around your girlfriend, pressing a quick kiss on her lips, "I missed you too.". You two stay in each other's arms for a minute, enjoying the feeling of being reunited again.

When the hug comes to an end, María takes the handle of your suitcase, grasping your uninjured hand in her free hand, she starts to walk slowly, knowing of your foot injury already.

"You don't have to do this, I can take care of my suitcase myself, you know?" You tell her.

"No you can't, you are injured. You are supposed to rest no matter what, and I'm going to make sure of that!" She answers with a smile, although her tone is letting you know that she is dead serious.

Pressing a kiss to her cheek you whisper a quiet "Thank You.".

Arriving at her car, she holds open the door for you and helps you in, making sure you are comfortable before putting your suitcase in the trunk and joining you in the driver seat.

"Ready to go home?" She asks you as she starts the car.

"Yes, I can't wait to finally be back in our bed, the ones at the hotel weren't that nice." You answer her question.

She lets out a little laugh, "Let's go then.", pulling out of the parking lot, putting her hand on your thigh.

_________

As soon as you arrived at home, you took a seat on the couch in the living room, while Mapi orders take-out from your favorite place. Leaning back, you close your eyes for a minute, the tiring last two days, catching up to you.

Feeling your girlfriend sitting down next to you, you open your eyes again, seeing her open her arms for you to lay in.

Getting comfortable in her embrace, she speaks up, "Get some rest, I wake you up when the food arrives."

Pressing a small kiss to her neck, you mumble a quiet "Okay." before your eyes close.

A while later, the doorbell wakes you out of your little nap, sitting up, so your girlfriend can go to the door, you decide to get something to drink.

Walking to the kitchen, you are just about to take a glass out when a voice behind you speaks up, "What do you think you are doing?".

"Getting something to drink?" You say confused.

"You are supposed to be resting! Get back to the living room, I'll get you something." Your girlfriend says walking over to you taking the glass you already took out.

"I'm already here, I can just get it real quick myself."

She sets the glass down, moving over to you, taking you by your shoulders and starts leading you out of the kitchen, "Nope, but you can search for a movie for us to watch." she says before disappearing into the kitchen again.

_________

You have been home for a week now, and Mapi still doesn't let you do anything. At first, you thought it was really sweet that she cares that much, but it's starting to get a bit out of hand, so you decided to go out with Patri and Aitana to walk through the stores while Mapi had social media duties.

When you came back home later that day, you barely had one foot into your apartment when you were engulfed in a hug, "Are you okay? I hope you didn't overdo yourself today.", stepping back from the hug, she notices the bag you had in your uninjured hand, "Let me get that for you.".

Stunned, you stand there for a second, before letting out a sigh and closing the door behind you. Making your way into the living room, you sit down on the couch, deciding to talk to your girlfriend about her little too protective behavior.

She comes in the room a few seconds later with something to drink for you, "Here, do you need anything else?".

After taking a sip from the glass, you answer, "No, but I want to talk to you about something." signaling her to sit down next to you.

"What's up? Are you in pain or anything?" She asked worried.

"No, I'm okay, but don't you think you are a bit too worried? Like you don't let me do anything myself, just with the bag, it barely weighs anything." You explain carefully.

She thinks a second before answering, "No? I just want to take care of you."

Moving closer to her on the couch, you give her cheek a quick peck before replying, "I know, and I appreciate it, but do you think you could turn it down a little? Getting myself a drink won't do me any harm."

Pouting a little, she says, "I guess, I can turn it down a little, but you have to tell me when you need something, okay?" While saying a little, she puts her fingers together, barely leaving any space between them.

Letting out a laugh at her antics, you nod, "Yes, a little that's all I ask for and of course I tell you."

Pulling you into a hug, you whisper a quiet "I love you." to each other.

"Alright, I'm going to get a refill on my drink." You say, moving to stand up.

Your girlfriend immediately jumps up too reaching for your glass, "Let me -." she starts before noticing the look you send her, "Let me accompany you?" She says unsure.

Smiling, you press a short kiss on her lips, "Come on, let's get that drink." You start moving towards the kitchen, a smiling Mapi following close behind you.

#woso x reader #woso imagines #woso imagine #mapi leon imagine #mapi leon x reader #mapi leon imagines #espwnt x reader

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mtsodie · 2 years

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🎃 he/him 🫀 duck or frankenstein/frank/variants 🍬 18 ( jan 22nd )👻 ment + phys disabled 💀 queer 🕸️

please do not tag art as ship unless in original tags

dont use tone tags with me thank u

art tag 🖌️ oc blogs 🎨 toyhouse

faq ( PLEASE READ BEFORE SENDING AN ASK )

holy shit terfs and proships piss off ‼ also south parkies

#📌

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risingwiththeheatabove · 1 year

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A Little Honey - Chapter 3 - Strange Horizons

Pairing: Josh X Reader

Series list

Warnings for series: 18+, Alcoholism, toxic parents, domestic abuse, drug use, alcohol use, explicit sexual content, NSFW, smut, unprotected sex, fingering, oral, blood kink, praise kink, daddy kink, and probably so much more that I am forgetting

Word Count 5.2K

August 2021

From Josh

We have a show in Franklin this week. The guys and I would love to have you and Nora there. There will be a small after party that you are welcome to stay for. Just let me know and I can get you all set up with our security team.

To Josh

That sounds incredible! We will be there! What day is it on so we can both request off work?

From Josh

Oh I guess I forgot the date. Haha. It is on Thursday the 5th. I can not wait to see you.

To Josh

I will be thinking about it all week.

Nora and you were both able to switch shifts to get Thursday night off. Debbie even ended up giving you Friday off just in case you needed to recover from the festivities. Debbie had been trying to get you to go out ever since you started working for her. She was always concerned you were too much of a hermit. She was happy to hear you had plans with someone other than just Nora for once.

Thursday rolled around quickly. You and Nora decided to enjoy your morning off by getting breakfast at your favorite cafe. You sat out on the patio enjoying your iced coffee and smoothie bowls. As you walked back to your apartment, anxiety began to creep back in. Nora could tell you were not yourself.

“Hey can you help me pick my outfit for tonight?” She asked. You knew she did not need your help. She has probably had an outfit planned since you told her on Monday. Not to mention she was always the more fashionable of the two of you. You knew she was trying to help calm your nerves so you agreed you would help each other find something to wear.

Nora grabbed three options from her closet. They had already been displayed on the hangers. No doubt she had them ready for several days.

“Which one?” She asked as she lay them all on the bed.

“I like the pants and jacket from this one.” You said as you grabbed a pair of black pressed trousers and a royal blue velvet fitted blazer. You jumped up and grabbed a t-shirt out of your closet. It was a white Jimi Hendrix Tee that had a psychedelic colorful pattern on the front. “How about this shirt instead?”

“That is way cooler than what I had planned!” She laughed as she accepted the shirt. She quickly changed and modeled the outfit for you. “I may need to borrow some shoes to go with the cool girl aesthetic.”

“Docs or Chelsea boots?” You asked pulling both options from your closet.

“Surprise me!”

You toss her the Chelsea boots. She slips them on completing the look. You check the time. 12:50. You still had hours to kill before heading to the concert. You huff and throw your phone on the bed.

“Let’s find you an outfit then we can go grab some drinks before the show. A little liquid courage never hurt!” Nora suggested.

“That sounds really nice!” You agreed with a nervous laugh.

You ended up going with a black mini slip dress with lace detailing. It had a deliciously placed slit that came up the front of your thigh. Adding black sheer tights, and your favorite black docs. Playing with your jewelry you mixed some delicate gold and silver chains and rings. You decided to wear your hair down again, finishing the look with a light Smokey eye and blush. Nora finished her look with a textured bob, statement hoops, mascara and a nude pink lip.

You pick a bar not to far from the venue that had decent reviews. As you drive to the bar you pass the venue.

“Wow I didn’t know they were that popular!” Nora said, repeating exactly what you were thinking. People were camped out on the concrete with sleeping bags and chairs. You knew they had gained popularity through TikTok, but you hadn’t know to this extent.

You get to the bar, unsure of what your luck would be trying to find parking at the venue. You decide to park at the bar for the evening. You both take a fancy shot of Nora’s choice and order a cocktail each before closing out.

“I needed that!” You say hugging into Nora as you walk to the venue. The doors didn’t open for another hour but you Josh asked that you be there early. You find the side entrance as instructed. Here you are quickly meet with the head of security. They give you each a “Crew” pass and tell you to stay out of the way of the actual crew. You nod in agreement as they hastily rush you to the green room.

“The guys are in here, it opens from the inside unless you have a key so don’t get locked out.” Security states as he scans the key to pop the door open. You thank them as you walk into the room.

“Hey you made it!” Danny said walking up to Nora giving her a bear hug. You shoot her a quizzical look and note this interaction to discuss later.

“Can I get you ladies a drink?” Sam asks as he pulls you into a side hug. As always with a cocktail in hand.

“That depends on who the bartender is.” You say with a wink.

“It’s pretty hard to mess up a jack and coke!” He whines back.

“I am sure you could find a way!” You hear Jake’s voice enter from the door. Jita follows behind waving. You greet them both with a hug.

“Where is Josh?” slips passed your lips with out thinking.

“Don’t worry, he will be here soon.” Jita says with a big smile.

“One thing you will have to learn about Josh, well all of us really. Is that we are always late. If you want us to be on time, lie! Tells us that dinner will be at 4 if you want us there before 7.” Sammy explains.

Everyone laughs and Sam hands Nora and you each a questionable jack and coke. You sit and discuss what everyone has been up to. They are excited for the upcoming shows and eventual tour. You finish your drinks and get comfortable on the green room couch.

“Have you guys heard from Y/N?!” Josh questions in a very animated fashion while he barges through the door. He freezes for half of a second when he sees you. You could have sworn a slight blush came across his cheeks. “Why hello!” He says cheerfully with a big toothy grin. He opens his arms inviting you in for a hug. Standing from the couch you walk over and find yourself wrapped in a tight embrace. He smells divine. He is wearing a white jumpsuit with embroidered colorful feathers along his leg and chest. The whole suit is studded with silver rhinestones. An additional white, sheer tule jumpsuit is worn over the top with even more rhinestone embellishments. He looked ethereal, celestial even. A stark contrast with your dark feminine energy.

“You look absolutely amazing Josh.” You speak softly still wrapped in his arms.

“You are too sweet Honey.” He responds in a bashful tone. “Look at you!” He theatrically gestures to your outfit as you unwrap from one another. Now causing you to blush. “A true rocker goddess stands in front of me!”

“No body has complemented my outfit!” Sam chimes in. He does a quick spin and places his hands on his hips to pose.

“Cedric is about to start his set. Does anyone want to join me?” Hannah asks as she peaks her head through the door. The guys all insist on staying in the green room, so it leaves the four girls to go watch the opening acts. You find reserved seats on Jake’s side of the stage. The opening acts were fantastic and your company was even better. You enjoyed dancing and laughing with the girls. You all got along so easily. The sun had set and the warm Tennessee night encircled you. You began to feel the butterfly’s in your stomach as the boys were about to take the stage.

“I am going to go smoke before the guys come on. Does anyone care to partake?” Hannah asked as she took out a small joint.

“Oh hell yeah!” You respond.

“I will pass.” Nora didn’t smoke often but when she did it normally ended up in a state of panic.

“I will stay with Nora.” Jita said placing a hand on Nora’s shoulder.

Hannah finds you guys a spot back stage. You pass the joint back and forth while you talk.

“So… what’s up with you and Josh?” She says with a suspicious smile. You pause for a second not sure what to say. “Not that its any of my business.” She quickly adds when she sees you thinking on your response.

“I am not really sure if I am being honest. We text like friends, but when we see each other in person…”

“…It’s more than friendly.” She finishes your sentence shooting you a wink.

“Mainly harmless flirting. I am really not sure if he is interested. The guys all seem to be pretty flirty.” You shrug your shoulders slightly embarrassed for admitting you care if Josh is interested in you. You take the last hit and stomp out the stinger.

“Josh doesn’t text people. If he is texting you back, he is interested! Again its none of my business, but I think everyone can tell you guys have chemistry.”

You see the lights dim and soft intro music begins to play. You both run back to your seats giggling like high schoolers who just got away with smoking in the bathroom.

You grab Nora’s hand as you see the boys take the stage. You all scream cheers of excitement as you hear the opening notes of Heat Above. The whole show is magical. The boys are all elevated versions on themselves on stage. Jake makes cute nods to Jita through out the evening. Sam sends a few waves in Hannah’s direction. You stood there wishing you and Josh had what they did. Nora would squeeze your hand when she saw you going into your head. You would squeeze back as if to say thank you. Even though their newest album hadn’t been out long, you already knew all of the words. You sang along through out the entire show, to the extent you thought you might lose your voice. When they left the stage the first time Jita motioned for everyone to follow her. You all joined hands and ran back stage. The boys were exhausted grabbing a quick water and catching their breath before the encore. You got there just before they retook the stage. Josh’s eye caught you as he was running up the stairs. He blew you a quick kiss followed by his classic smile. Nora hugged you from behind in excitement for you. The girls lead you to side stage to watch the boys finish off the show. You stood there in absolute bliss. This night was entirely perfect.

You all waited backstage for the guys to come off stage. You were practically vibrating with joy as you saw sweaty Josh run down the stairs. He picked you up in a hug spinning you around as you both chuckle at the intimacy of the moment. He sets you down, placing his hands on your hips. Yours around the back of his neck. With your body’s still touching he pauses staring at your lips. You watch his as he bites his bottom lip gently. You make eye contact with him and a smile is plastered on his face. You can not help but smile back at him. He is glowing. His forehead meets yours and you feel every breath he takes.

“Honey, have you been smoking the devil’s lettuce?” He softly teases into your ear. You both continue to giggle in your embrace.

“Hey maybe you guys should do that further from the stage.” Danny yells playfully. “Unless you want an army of angry teenagers to find her!”

Josh grabs your hand and runs you back to the green room. He pours you both a drink while the rest of the group files in behind you.

“So what now?” Nora said as she entered the room with Danny.

“Now we PARTY!” Sam exclaimed.

“First we shower!” Jake said throwing a towel at his younger brother. Sam grabbed it sticking his tongue out at Jake.

“Us girls will stay here while the guys get cleaned up!” Jita explained.

“I won’t be gone long Honey.” Josh said placing a kiss on your cheek and handing you your drink.

“Hurry back Sugar.” You said while offering a short slap to his ass as he walked away. He jumped cheerfully as he left the room with the other guys.

You made your way to sit back on the couch next to Hannah and Jita. Nora was looking in the mirror fixing her hair.

“So…” You pause getting Nora’s attention. She looks at your reflection in the mirror but does not turn around. She knows what is coming. “You and Danny seem…”

“Y/N STOP! We are just the two single ones of the group! Do not turn this into something more!” Nora barks back.

“I am single! Josh is single!” You retort.

“You guys don’t look single!” Jita adds, shyly hiding her face in her drink immediately after speaking.

“Obviously I like Josh, but right now we are just friends!”

“…Friends with benefits?” Nora asks in a mischievous tone.

“The night is young…” You reply in a similar tone.

The whole room erupts into laughter. You were falling for Josh, hard and fast. Though you had only been friends for a few weeks it felt much longer. You connected so effortlessly. You spent most days texting about silly details of your day. He would recommend a movie for you to watch and you would recommend him a book. Your music taste was similar though his was much more in-depth. Occasionally exchanging flirtatious text that never amounted to anything. You were unsure where you stood with Josh. You knew you wanted him in your life at least as a friend. You could settle for friendship. But you longed for more.

“Jake just text me, they are heading to the van.” Jita said interrupting the conversation.

“Well ladies lets go!” Hannah said as her and Jita lead you both out of the room and towards the van.

As you approached the van you noticed all the guys had changed into there usual styles. Josh wore his classic white t-shirt, khaki pants and vans. His face slightly pink from the activities of the evening as well as the heat. He wrapped his hand around your waist and guided you into the van. You held his hand pulling him closer to you as you both sat down. His head rested on your shoulder. “Are you tired?” You asked as you softly ran a hand through his hair. He hummed turning into you. His nose brushing your neck.

“A little. It’s been so long time since we preformed. I am out of shape.” He said softly into you neck.

“You don’t look out of shape.” You coo back. He reaches over placing his hand on your upper thigh offering a light squeeze between him thumb and forefinger. You can not see it but you know you are both smiling. Josh melts into you for the short ride to the after party. The van stops and he lets out a slight sigh as he hears the door open. He lifts his head offering you another kiss on the cheek grabbing your hand once more to guide you out of the vehicle.

“Come on Hannah lets show Y/N the bar!” Sammy says. Hannah and Sam wrap one of their arms around each of yours and quickly sweep you away from Josh.

Josh offers an annoyed “HEY!?” As he slaps Sam on the back of the head.

You look back at him and mouth “Sorry.” Between the drinks and the weed consumed earlier in the evening you had a decent cross fade going. You knew you had to pace yourself to enjoy the remainder of the night. You ordered a water which Sam met with disappointment.

“Not everyone drinks as much as you Samuel!” Josh approached the bar placing a hand on the small of your back as he neared. You leaned into his touch. Nora and Jita joined the group at the bar.

“Did you guys have a good time?” Danny asked directing the question to Nora and yourself.

“You guys were fucking awesome! Best concert I have ever been to!” You respond a little too quickly. A slightly more sober you would have been embarrassed.

“It was really fun even if I didn’t know any of the songs!” Nora said comically.

“Y/N you knew every song! I was impressed! I don’t think I even have the new album memorized.” Hannah said light heartedly.

You felt Josh’s body tense as he removed his hand from your back.

“WAIT Y/N, You are a fan?!” Sam said flabbergasted, throwing his arms in the air.

“She is a huge fan!” Nora responded for you. She could see the embarrassment across your face. Josh pulled away further repositioning himself closer to Jake.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Jake asked.

“It just never came up.” You shrugged taking a sip of your drink to hide slightly. Your face must have been a vibrant pink.

Extremely aware of Josh’s sudden change in demeanor. Josh scuffed and walked away joining a group of what you gathered were mainly crew. Nora shot you a confused look, one in which you returned.

“If you guys will excuse me…” You say softly breaking the group to look for the bathroom. Nora follows noticing your changing mood.

“Are you good?” She asks as you enter the bathroom.

“Did you notice Josh? How he changed back at the bar?” You say with slight panic in your voice.

“Hey, what happened?”

“I have no clue Nora! All of the sudden things felt different.” You were trying to focus on your breathing to stay calm but you could tell something switched in him.

“Hey, Hey. Stay with me. You are probably just over thinking things. It’s fucking Chris’s fault. You always had to be so aware and on edge around him. But you don’t have to do that with Josh. He is a good guy Y/N. Don’t get in your head.” Nora rubbed your shoulders as she talked you down.

“You are probably right. It’s probably nothing.” You said not fully believing what you were saying.

You both rejoined the group, Josh was still away talking with the crew. Everyone else seemed like themselves. You figured Nora was right and continued to enjoy your time with them. You all danced and laughed and celebrated the world slowly starting to open back up. Several hours passed with not even a glance from Josh. As the festivities died down you were extremely intoxicated. You did not pace your self well but instead decided to try and keep up with Sammy. Bad idea. Nora the only sober one of the group carried you back to the van when it was time to go. You spent the entirety of the van ride telling the group how much you loved them and how lucky you felt to call them friends. Everyone reciprocated the sentiments. Everyone expect Josh. He didn’t say a word. The van returned you to the venue and drove off. Josh slipped away to quickly for anyone to know where he was heading. Sam and Hannah said their goodbyes heading back to their hotel. Leaving just Nora, Danny, Jita, Jake and yourself.

“Shit!” Nora said as she searched her purse for the keys.

“What’s wrong?” Danny asked coming to her aid.

“Oh nothing I just forgot we walked here from the bar. She won’t be able to walk back like that so I will have to get the truck and come back for her.” Nora explained.

“That’s fine, I will set her up in the green room and she will be taken care of until we get back. I will walk with you. You do not need to be walking alone this late at night.” Danny said as he got Jita to help take care of you.

“I will be back for her shortly. Thank you guys!” Nora said as her and Danny made their way toward the bar.

“Alright Y/N lets get you some water and a place to lay down!” Jita said as she and Jake helped walk you back towards the green room. Cursing yourself for drinking too much you repeatedly thanked them for helping you.

“What are friends for?” Jake said sweetly.

You entered the green room unaware Josh was sitting across the room fiddling with a few of his things. They sat you down on the couch and gave you a bottle of water. Jita sat next to you while Jake joined his brother. You closed your eyes and layed on your side. You were in and out of sleep, but you caught bits of the room’s conversation.

“I think she had a little too much fun.” Jake said jokely tapping his brother on the back.

“Why is she still here?” Josh spit back at him.

You wanted to spring up and leave but your body began drifting back to sleep.

“What is your fucking problem?” Jake questioned Josh, waking you once more.

“Shut up guys she is awake!” Jita whispered harshly.

You fell back to sleep. The next time you woke up you could have sworn you were alone. You sat up reaching for your water that had long since fallen off of the couch. You stood up but betrayed by your legs, resembling that of a new born deer. You huffed falling defeated back into the couch.

“Where you ever going to tell me you are a fan?” Josh asked softly from across the room. Causing you to jump slightly and your breath to catch in your chest.

“Shit you scared me.” You said with a hand on your chest trying to steady your breathing. “Um yeah, I guess eventually. It just never felt like the right time.” You manage to stumble though your words.

“So you were just going to lie to me until then?”

“What? I never lied to you Josh! Nobody ever asked me!” Your face was starting to grow red with anger. “Why the fuck does it mater so much to you?”

“I don’t get involved with fans Y/N.” He said sharply unable to look you in the eyes.

“Is that really what all of this…” you said throwing your hands around frantically. “… is about?!”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Then fucking enlighten me Josh!” You yell back.

He stepped towards you and opens his mouth to speak. Just then the door opens. Nora and Danny walk in with concerned faces. Surely they heard you.

“Lets fucking go Nora!” You barked as you stood up too quickly. She caught you on one side and Danny on the other.

“Is everything okay?” She asked in a hushed tone. Your eyes began to well up so you hid your face. That was answer enough.

“I can take her from here Danny.” Nora said.

“I will help you get her out to the truck.” Danny insisted. Nora realized she would probably need the help given your essentially non functioning lower extremities.

They carry you out to the truck. You try to hide your now flowing tears with your hair. Setting you inside and buckling you in. Danny pats you on your head gently and closes the truck door.

“What the hell did we walk into?” Danny asked Nora.

“I have no clue but I will talk to her if you talk to Josh?”

“Deal.” Danny said hugging her goodbye.

Nora started the truck reaching over to hold your hand. You turned your head away and closed your eyes. She placed a kiss to the top of your hand to comfort you before pulling out of the venue driveway.

The ride home was silent besides your occasional sniffle. Nora didn’t ask questions. She knew you were in no state to talk. She was hoping the situation in the green room could be blamed on too much alcohol consumption. She helped you into your apartment and slipped off your boots. Before she could get you into pajamas you were already asleep on your bed. She threw a blanket over you and set a glass of water on your nightstand. She slept in your bed as well to keep an eye on you.

You woke up to sound of the front door opening.

“Coffee delivery!” Nora yelled as she entered the kitchen with a tray of drinks and greasy breakfast food from your favorite diner.

You fell to you feet adjusting your dress and removing the hair from your mouth. You looked in the mirror and shuddered at the sight. Your once smokey eye was now resembling that of the grudge. Mascara tears stained your face and your hair looked like a nest belonging to a forest creature. Throwing your hair up into a clip you meet Nora in the kitchen.

“You are my savior Nora!” You say grabbing a coffee and a greasy brown bag of deliciousness. Taking a seat at your small table she follows closely behind.

“I like your new look.” She said flashing you a smile. “Very heartbreak chic!”

You knew you would have to tell her about the conversation you shared with Josh.

“There is no getting out of this one, is there?” You ask as you lay your forehead into your hands.

“I am afraid not.” She said placing a fry into her mouth.

“I really don’t even know where to start!” Still hiding your head.

“Well clearly he changed at the bar. Which I have to apologize for gas lighting you!” Nora said offering you a consoling hand. You reach out grab her hand in yours.

“You did nothing wrong! You were just trying to help me.” You tried to reassure her. “It was like once he found out I was a fan, he completely detached from me. Physically and emotionally.”

“What did he say in the green room?” She asked.

You retold the conversation the best you could remember.

“Who the fuck does he think he is? Stringing you along like that! We are absolutely not going to their show tonight!” Nora said in a fit of rage.

“What do you mean their show tonight?”

“Josh didn’t tell you? They are preforming there again tonight. Danny told me. He said Josh was supposed to invite you?” Nora said puzzled by your shock. “But of course he didn’t say anything because he is an asshole! I am texting Danny right now to tell him we will not be there!” Nora grabbed her phone typing so fast her finger could have caught fire.

“ Nora you can still go if you want. I will be okay. I need to rest for work tomorrow anyway.”

“Are you kidding me? I am not leaving you alone right now! We are going to eat shitty food, watch shitty movies and pretend that those boys do not exist!” She grabbed your hand with hers and pushed a stray hair behind your ear with her other hand. “You should also probably take a shower.” She said giggling at your appearance.

“A bath sounds really nice actually!” You respond.

“Its settled! You will get cleaned up and we can have a girls day! We could even do face masks! Oh and I can paint your nails!” She smiles rather happy with her plans. You agree to entertain her agenda for the day. Finishing up your meal you head to the tub. Lighting a candle and putting on your favorite Fleetwood Mac album you settle into the warm water. You instantly start to feel better.

“Fuck him.” You think as you sink deeper into the water. You were hurt but he was never yours to have. There was no promise or agreement between you two. Your life will go back to how it was before meeting him. You loved your life before him. But the familiar sting of heartbreak still hung around.

You put on your favorite pair of cozy pajamas and slippers. You joined Nora in the living room. She had an array of snacks and drinks layed out on the coffee table. She had already started watching your favorite show, The Office. It was your also on your favorite episode. The one where Dwight sets off the fire alarm in the building to teach fire safety. You sit next to her and giggle at the goofy antics on the screen.

“Face mask time! Also I only own pink or blue nail polish so you will have to pick the lesser of the two evils!” She joked knowing you never had color on your nails. She sat there pampering you while the show continued to play.

“I am sorry we didn’t get the chance to do this when we were kids Nora.” You said. The moment brought up feelings of melancholy. You always wondered what it would have been like to share your childhood with your sister.

“We get to do it now!” She chimed back. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You rescued me and gave me all of this!” Gesturing to your small apartment.

The afternoon turned into evening and you both began to feel sleep creeping in. You insisted on cleaning up as she went to bed. She obliged and headed into her room.

Just as she shut her door you heard your text tone go off in your room. Nora sprang from her bedroom door before you could even process the sound. She ran to your phone.

“If this is Josh I am going to give him a piece of my mind!” Nora said unlocking your screen.

From Josh

Can we talk?

“No you can not fucking talk to her you fucking douche cannon!” Nora yelled to no one.

“Nora please do not respond!” You pleaded. She huffed handing you your phone to see the text. Checking the time you take a mental note that he should be getting on stage soon.

“What are you going to say?” Nora said trying to calm her rage.

“Nothing. He is about to go on stage anyways.” You were not about to be left on read for hours. Nora throws up a questioning eyebrow. “Seriously I am not responding.” You throw your hands up defensively. “I will even leave my phone in the kitchen for the night.” You do as you as say heading to bed and Nora doing the same.

“Can we fucking talk?” You think to yourself. Nora is right. Who does he think he is?

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