I would rather cum x5 than eat a plain doughnut ever in my life

OMG JUST SAY CRYING????????

all the emails i've received since emailing UMUSIC on november 15 because apparently it's very hard to look into why my 2 separate signed CD orders had a label printed but were never picked up so they can't pin it on UPS lol

I'm very tired of this "queer college students should stop supporting Palestine, they'd kill you there!" I watched a hijabi ask a trans man, "but what name do you want to go by?" A butch giving a woman their hoodie so that she could keep her hair covered after the cops took her scarf. Muslim girls making sure the lesbian couple got through the system together. Religious men making sure purple haired protestors got out safe. I don't want to hear it. Solidarity forever, free Palestine.

maybe whistleblowers just happen to come forward around the time they're about to die. no one ever considers that

When I was a kid one of my moms would call her period "moon time" or "her monthlies" or shit like that and my other mom straight up stealthed it, but when I'm a dad I think I'm gonna go straight down the middle and call it Werewolf Week. Like sorry kids, dad can't roughouse right now, it's Werewolf Week

It's me. I'm the distant aunt.

English added by me :)

in the past 48 hours kendrick lamar has:

used a picture, apparently taken inside of drake's house, showing various medications including ozempic (which drake has dissed other people for taking!) prescribed under drake's legal name, as cover art for a single

implied that members of drake's entourage are acting as his informants

claimed he would be a better role model to adonis, drake's son whose existence was publicized via a previous rap beef, than drake is

claimed that drake also has an eleven-year old daughter that he's been hiding, and likely other illegitimate children

claimed that drake and his entourage are part of a sex trafficking ring

said drake should die so women can be safe

called drake a colonizer who appropriates black american culture

directly called drake and his entourage pedophiles

Im fucking sobbing looking at the new black footed cat at Utah's Hogle zoo

Shes just a fucking baby

Baby with a 60% successful kill rate

Alright everybody

seven years ago in the name of tolerating free speech from all political perspectives my nasty ass evil university let an army of tiki torch wielding nazis shouting jews will not replace us march through grounds threatening the lives of students and community members with zero police presence. and today they retroactively changed campus policy around tents so they could send in the cops to bust up the gaza memorial vigil. genuinely fucking stomach turning

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

you’re just like the rest of them

don’t worry about me. goodbye, big brother