Everyone claims to love their malewibes and girlbosses and yet your silence towards Johnny Test and his parents pierce the eardrums of god
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Profane Christmas - December 25th.
"Hm. You know what? Maybe won't be that bad to expend Christmas with you."
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Welp, survived another Christmas without getting excommunicated from the family.
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no fucking way my stepmom’s mother saw a picture of me in my bridesmaid dress and her first comment was “well she’ll need to wear a girdle, won’t she?” like HUH??? THAT’S the thought you have???? and you SAY IT OUT LOUD AT A FAMILY CHRISTMAS ?????
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me: excuse me, porn bots, but it appears to be closing time
porn bots: very well. i’ll see you at 8 tomorrow morning
me: erm. tomorrow’s christmas
porn bots: 8:30 then
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baking bread with my mom and y’all don’t know how rare it is to see me in a kitchen doing any sort of work but to give you a frame of reference my mom literally tried to walk me through the steps of cracking an egg. like. i am 25 yrs old and she genuinely thought i didn’t know how to crack an egg.
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I feel like there’s no time to talk about stuff anymore :’( :’( like everyone’s run out of time
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Me: Bryan, which bone is the tibia and which is the fibula …
Bryan: I have no idea.
Me: … you’re an occupational therapist …
Him: I DO ARMS. WAIST UP ONLY.
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updated list of the people that I feel gender euphoria when dressed similarly to (just on the personal masc side of things):
1) Dean Winchester
2) Castiel (also featured on the agender gender euphoria list. he contains multitudes)
3) My old history teacher
4) Scrooge McDuck
5) Will Turner
6) the old dude from Up
[NEW!!] 7) My father on Christmas morning
honorable mentions:
- A garden gnome I once saw in a dream
- Goodwill employee that referred to my mother exclusively as “milady” and occasionally dabbles in being my sleep paralysis demon
- four year old boy who just discovered dinosaurs
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Is this supposed to be read “This time I´ll die with you?”
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"Scrooge said that he would see him—yes, indeed he did. He went the whole length of the expression, and said that he would see him in that extremity first."
- Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol
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