i'm realizing through this book i'm reading (same-sex affairs: constructing and controlling homosexuality in the pacific northwest) that like... yknow the conflation between homosexuality and pedophilia. well i've realized why that is, and that it's more than just all "sexual perversions" getting lumped together by homophobes. but also insanely enough more mundane

it's literally that for many decades, the only concept most people were able to have of gay men were through the lens of it being a crime. aka arrest records and the newspapers telling you who got put in jail last night. obviously gay men who were only having consensual sex with other gay adult men did get caught sometimes, but you could only catch them if they were doing it in public, if you were sneaking around in their private home, or if someone involved ratted them out. and if you ratted someone out, whatever motivation you might have, you were also ratting yourself out, so why would you do that? but if you were underage, especially if it was non-consensual, you wouldn't be in trouble at all. so of course the majority of the "immoral acts" charges are going to be between an adult and a minor.

not only that but apparently "youth" in referring to a young person used to literally mean anyone under the age of 21. and the vast majority of charges that read "engaged in immoral acts with a youth" it's referring to like a 17 y/o or even 18 or 19. so then ppl in later decades read that and misinterpreted it too.

and that's literally it lol..... it feels obvious in hindsight but i never would have thought about it. crazy what bias confirmation does.

In rebuttal to Buckbreaking(2021) By Sevyn Sky Selby Wednesday June 9, 2021

If you have not seen Buckbreaking, a document by Tariq Nasheed, here is a breakdown: Black men, including Rizza Islam and Joe Brown, sitting around giving what they preserve to be a historical take on the history of homosexuality in the black community. They bestow not only brutality but genius on the white race as being the source of all alt sexuality and identity. They are in fact ignorant and forgetting that many of us, like myself are native to the Americas where Two Spirit people were and are to this day revered. The term Two Spirit is the Native American all-encompassing term for LGBTQ individuals where white Americans coined the term bisexuality from. White people are not the creator of non cis identities or non-straight sexuality. The men in this documentary give them way too much credit. However, the film makes some points like black people, especially black men where on the receiving end of anal rape and degradation for centuries.

Very violently, the disdain for the LGBT community is spit out in this docuseries. To that I ask, were the commentors sons or daughters either feminine or masculine presenting and self-proclaimed as gay or trans what would you do? I think I know the answer. They would beat and mentally, emotionally abuse their children into submission. If that did not work, would they kick them out in the street. A tale too many of us are familiar with. How are we as black LGBT people being punished for what they claim as a white created problem? Homo same relationships and gender role reversals were well documented before slavery and often as black people we equate the beginning of our history as slavery forgetting the richness of our rule and ancestry. In the documentary same sex relations and trans people are linked to pedophilia but people failed to realize the pedophiles are in everyday life, in parents, in men, women, pasters, uncles, aunts, strangers, friends and more times than often not committed acts by trusted authority figures. But calling Two Spirt people abusers because we choose not to acknowledge their sexualities and identities as valid is an easy scapegoat for ignoring these facts. We also forget that for every child failed in anyway the culprit is 9.9/10 times the fault of a cisgender and proclaimed straight parent.

What the documentary gets right is that white people are depraved and that conjunction with Christianity and so-called organized religion, a once great two spirited community became demonized. What I see is a group of black men oppressing a subgroup of black people by comparing them to their white counterparts. How can a divide be inclusive? If they had done their studies, they might find that the racial divide is just as big amongst gays. Or that black LGBT folks suffer from homelessness and poverty at way more alarming rates than their Caucasian counter parts. In black and brown communities, sexually fluid and gender non-conforming youth are thrown out as soon as they are no longer controllable in the worst-case scenario. This leaves them subject to real predators and pedophiles on the streets and often forced into prostitution rather than being abused and not being able to live their truth under a roof by their own parents. This is what the youth are experiencing. It is not fair to hold black people to a higher and harsher standard than the actual culprit of crimes against humanity, the white male and by extension the white woman.

If black and brown gay men and transwomen are the victims of mental manipulation, feminization and ritual abuse as the film suggest, how does the attack on us make the situation better? Why do we have to further stand the abuse from our own community by what was done and is still being done today. Why is so easy for us to oppress our own and not see ourselves in ourselves or our youth?

A whole community is suffering mentally and emotionally because they are not being able to express themselves or believed when they tell you who they are and their stance. And when we believe them, they are demonized. We are contributing to this detrimental atmosphere of systemic and mental slavery where our children cannot grow. This is the remanent of slavery we should be worried about and what these men could have used their platform to bring awareness to. Again, let’s not forget, the conditions we find ourselves in today stem from the failures of cisgender, straight parents. The foster system is filled by them, the gay community is thrown out by them and mental abuse is perpetuated by them. While there are historic points made, we have more important things to worry about, like better ways of parenting and letting our children express themselves.

An important conversation being had today is Dwayne wade and his daughter Zaya Wade who is accepted and thriving. I commend Wade and Gabrielle Unions parenting. I’m interested to see the growth of a young trans person who is allowed to flourish. We need more voices like Dwayne Wade and less like rapper Boosie who has been labeled as transphobic and homophobic in his career. In light of the Zaya Wade news, Boosie proclaiming to Zaya’s father in a social media video, “don’t cut off his parts man,’ misgendering and referring to the genitals of a 13-year-old Zaya. Boosie has also been called out for not only referencing a minors private but also suspected homo same comments and an obsession with the male phallus on serial occasions. Boosie is a voice of a generation of ignorant misinformed melaninated people who choose to subjugate those under the umbrella of LGBTQ+. His and other voices like his are the ones people want to flock to instead of the Wades of the world because we have been so indoctrinated with a sense of self oppression. Think of all the children and adults who have suffered mentally anguish due to these views and religion. A great example being Donnie McClurkin who just this year has said how unhappy he is and proclaimed himself as asexual because of conflicting feeling within himself.

We cannot continue to allow hate pieces like Buckbreaking to be made where a whole community is likened to child abusers when people like Boosie are praised. We cannot allow people like Rizza Islam, who loves and idolizes Prince and Michael Jackson, both men who were on the extreme feminine side of the spectrum, then turn around a exclaim how much of a sin gay people are. This documentary stunk of gender inferiority, patriarchy, and perpetuated slave mindset. The melanated Two Spirit and LGBT community is here, always has been and always will be. A goal of ours as melanated people must be to remember who the real divider and manipulator is and unifying to fight that energy and not creating schisms and oppressing parts of our own body.

Dealing with some anxiety over the past few weeks about some stuff I dealt with growing up that didn’t fully sink in until just now. It is very personal. It is also very heavy. If you decide to read, please keep in mind that this deals with some pretty heavy baggage, including... Trigger Warnings: CSA, Incest, Abuse, Bullying, Ableism, Trauma, Aphobia, Homophobia Because this is a personal rant, I’d rather avoid reblogs. Thank you for understanding.

So. When I was younger, I spent a lot of time with one of my cousins. She was a good 6 - 8 years older than me. At the time, I looked up to her. I thought she was cool and smart. I trusted her. Because I was so young, I didn’t think it weird that she described french kissing to me in great detail. I never told an adult. I was too young to know that this was not okay. This wasn’t even the last time, though. When I was in first grade, she was so eager to show and describe matters related to being a teenage girl and the changes therein. I won’t go into great detail- but the way she demonstrated this... It was definitely hands on. What bothers me is that at the time, it didn’t hit me that THIS wasn’t okay either. I didn’t tell an adult because I didn’t know I was supposed to. That this was sexual abuse. She did some things with me that- it only happened once, but it REALLY, fundamentally bothers me that my longterm reaction to this was... desensitization. Maybe that’s a form of trauma in itself? I dunno. But I was able to move on eventually when she wasn’t in my life anymore. Sometimes I tell myself I shouldn’t hold it against her because she was a teenager at the time with her own issues, but... I dunno. I didn’t talk about this with anyone. I didn’t really think about it, save for once in a blue moon when I was in high school and I was like, “...maybe that was messed up.” But if you asked me at the time, I would’ve said I was okay. But I’m honestly not sure if I was. I was bullied throughout my entire public schooling. People would punch me. They’d call me names. They’d make fun of me for liking cartoons and video games and come up to me with the most ableistic voices demanding I “draw them pokaymanz”. I was the one who had to go to the school councilor for being a problem. They didn’t get in trouble. In high school, I would go out into the pod to try and study and work on assignments because the very same people who had bullied me in grade school would not SHUT UP when we were supposed to be doing assigned reading. They were not punished. Nobody stepped in when I raised concerns- the best I got was permission to distance myself. I remember sitting on the bus one day in high school, minding my own business when these girls in the seat in front of me started making fun of my name. They started making fun of my appearance. The bus driver never stepped in. I got off the bus in tears. And this was hardly the first time. This was a problem from grade school ‘til graduation. 12 - 13 years of this. Sometimes when I’m at work, trying to do my JOB, my mind will go back to something a classmate said, something a classmate DID, and I’ll lose my focus. It’ll bring me to tears even though I SHOULD be over it by now. And this has always happened to me. People talking behind my back. Spreading rumors. Going to OTHERS to deal with their problems with me instead of talking to me because apparently human decency is too much to ask. People would spread rumors that I “pooped on the playground”. They’d say I liked to sneak into the boys’ bathroom. When I was in first grade, someone shoved a leaf up my nose. I still remember that, too. I remember being told by people I considered friends that we couldn’t be friends anymore because they had new friends who didn’t like me. I remember people being cruel. A lack of understanding. It turned me into a wallflower over time because I was scared to make connections and for a time I dealt with it by being cold and abrasive because I didn’t want to hurt anymore. I remember being asked on a school trip, “Were you ever diagnosed with anything?” OUT OF NOWHERE. To this day, I wonder about that... And I don’t know if I should seek diagnosis. I probably should? I definitely need a therapist, that way I can talk this stuff out with a professional instead of rambling on a blog post just to try and calm down from a random anxiety attack. I remember classmates and chaperones resenting the fact that I got left behind on that trip because I didn’t want to jaywalk. So I had to get help from some local cops who set me up with a cab back to the hotel because I was lost and nobody thought to look if I was left behind. People would talk down to me all the time, too. Treat me like a child. And why? Because I liked cartoons? Because I’m asexual and aromantic? GOD. I remember classmates in middle school were SO OFFENDED by my asexuality, too. I recall this one girl being like, “you better get a boyfriend or people might think you’re a ~lesbian~”. ...okay, first of all. What if I was? I mean, I’m pretty sure I’m not- I don’t really feel that kinda attraction to anyone. But. There is NOTHING wrong with being gay, lesbian, bi, pan, trans, NB, etc, etc. THESE PEOPLE EXIST. People who are not straight and/or cis exist. And also, thirteen year olds acting like they NEED to rush into relationships... That’s. Extremely concerning to me. It always was. But I guess I was just... desensitized over time because of how sexualized the climate was during those days. And it wasn’t just at school.

I have a long history of RPing. When I was in middle school, I was basically pressured into RPing a nsfw situation by some castmates. I should have said no, but I was scared to. And I think, ultimately, that also led to me being desensitized. Because that stuff was everywhere. These were RPs with young teenagers AND adults as players and nobody put their foot down and said, “hey, maybe DON’T RP nsfw in a space with minors”. Nobody said LOCK those posts. Tag them nsfw. It was just there. Out in the open. I was fourteen. And I’m not here to say that all NSFW content is inherently bad or that every adult should constantly be monitoring every space. Internet strangers are not babysitters. I get that. But I do think it’s a problem when communities full of young teens AND adults are too lax on the former’s access to 18+ content. Because there’s a difference between someone ignoring age restrictions and warnings and accidentally coming across content or being pressured to participate in such content. Now. Over time, people wised up. Many of these communities DID eventually lock that stuff to 18+. But a lot of open meme and sandbox communities did not. There were posts that’d devolve into smut on a regular basis that weren’t tagged or properly warned. But because I’d been exposed to this kinda stuff for so many years- it didn’t hit me that there was a lack of moderation. I was taught that it just comes with the territory because “this is the internet.” So for a long time, I just... accepted that. “It’s the internet.” Even within the past few years, I held onto that mindset because... it was just. What I was used to. I didn’t like it, but I assumed that was just... how things go and to express otherwise was pointless. I still don’t condone online harassment and I do think people will take properly tagged fandom content way too far (even if I disagree WITH said content)- but this isn’t ABOUT that. Because properly tagged content establishes the boundaries that were so wholly lacking in these spaces. And the fact is, I don’t LIKE that I am/was desensitized. Because the truth is, I didn’t LIKE any of it. I didn’t like the scenario I was coerced into as a young teen through RP. I didn’t like how easy it was to just... stumble upon NSFW content on accident. It’s just... I dunno. I just don’t know, and I hate that I don’t know. I probably shouldn’t let it get to me. It’s just online stuff that happened ten to twelve years ago, right? It’s nowhere near as serious as the actual sexual abuse and the actual bullying... but I think it still affected me. And just like with my cousin before, I didn’t really... talk to anyone about it? It was a very different fandom climate. The early to late 2000′s were very different. And I think just... it bothers me. That it took this long for me to realize that maybe this stuff affected me after all. Like. I’m a CSA survivor and it only JUST now clicked that I am? What’s up with that? Like. I don’t know. I need a therapist. I think I’ve needed one for years given how often I fall victim to invasive thoughts, how often I get too scared to speak my mind, how eager I am to please EVERYONE and thus it is SO hard for me to confront people when I am upset or draw the line. I’m constantly worrying about hurting or upsetting people so sometimes I guess I’m cowardly. Because I guess it’s a coping mechanism I’ve developed? Just... avoiding. Turning a blind eye. That’s probably not okay either. But I think the root of it all really is just from my childhood. How going to adults when I was bullied or abused never seemed to DO anything. So maybe I just developed a worst case scenario mindset. I just don’t know, so that’s why I need some help. So I can just... work this all out. I guess a part of me is just a little scared. And that’s stupid. Why should I be scared of something that can only HELP me? Ranting on tumblr can only do so much. But for now, just getting it off my chest is the best I can do. It’s a start, anyway.

Hey, Rad... Alex... Alexlememe? I know that's the name you used to go by and I know you've kinda disconnected yourself from Viv's fanbase after ZP ended, and I remember your memes and such but I kinda just wanted to get your take on the Hazbin drama since you reblogged the headcanon blog's post on the subject. More or less regarding the issue of her being uncharitable to fans and non-fans alike, plus that one callout post on twitter?

So this is weird. I wasn’t expecting to get asks on the subject since like you said, I’ve generally been disconnected from the fanbase aside from the few reblogs here and there retaining to Hazbin and its more recent developments. But yeah I guess I could give my take on this since I mean.. old fans still follow me. Idk why, but they do!So, really. In regards to that callout post (which is now deleted) I really, really don’t care that much. For one thing, Initially I did because I really hated to see someone be slandered so viciously with inaccurate and uncharitable attacks, but I kinda just stopped because even when I linked the addresses from both Viv, and the Ken dude regarding all the drama mentioned, it was either ignored and resulting in me being called a “pedo sympathizer” or “It wasn’t even an apologyyyyy weh” and like, whatever. I stopped giving a shit.

Terms of the traced animation thing... Lol, ok. I mean homages do exist, and her animation thingy was based on a meme so whatevs.

Anyways,I knew from the very start that the whole “tracing” and “stealing designs” stuff was nonsense since there was an entire like, tumblr drama arc on the issue, and albeit Viv’s post is gone, there’s evidence of legal contracts regarding Jiji and that whole nonsense that was years ago. In regards to her drawing pictures of Blaire White and Shoe… Eh. I mean, yeah, fuck em, but she’s made it clear that she doesn’t support those views anymore, and she wasn’t even really aware of the other things they’d done at that point, and I see no real reason not to believe her because what does lying about that gain her? Yeah her comment on the “blackface” thing if you wanna call it that was dumb as shit, but considering 2016 was a rough year for her in terms of trying to find where she fell in the political sphere, I can relate because I was in the same boat. A lot of sjw cringe comps, shaming feminists, and purposely misgendering transpeople… Not a good time for me either! Course I’ve changed. I went from being a reactionary alt-centrist to an anarchist so. Whether that’s an improvement is up to you.

As for the whole pedo/zoo shit, I really don’t see it. I mean like, look, obviously porn art portraying people fucking feral animals is disgusting right. Not saying it isn’t problematic or anything, but to be fair, she did draw this shit like 8 years ago. I’ve seen worse from even more well-established artists and I don’t see people trying to cancel them? Also, the art was suggestive for one thing and not necessarily 100% porn. I mean it’s still creepy and gross, and I’d understand scolding them if they continued to do so but a lot worse, but I haven’t seen anything like that from Viv past those 2 drawings. As for the pedo shit… The relationship between a 17 year old and a 19 year old is… hardly creepy and reminiscent of pedo shit. So yeah no fuck that. Now with the drawing of Mirage and Kestrel and the tag that said something jokingly like “Mirage and her pedo tendencies” or whatever… Yeah idk, I can’t defend that lmfao. Again, Viv said she disapproves of those drawings and doesn’t care to think about them, but that one piece of artwork definitely had some baggage to it that made me feel uncomfortable after reading the tags.Only issue I took in terms of her addressing that, is that she was very adamant about it being an inside joke… Which if that’s true, you must’ve had some fucked up friends like damn.

I would also like to state that cub art is legitimately disgusting and I am of the belief that it can cause harm depending on the context since I assume the consumption of cub art can reinforce the urge for pedophiles to act on their desires instead of finding healthy coping mechanisms for it through therapy. There have been stories from younger users on the internet that older people have tried to groom them and have the notion of pedos preying on them be normalized by sending them art depicting kids in sexual acts with adults. Of course in isolation cub art isn’t as harmful as the actual act of raping a child, and I would argue that people have their priorities kind of messed up since the illustration being acknowledged should be part of combating pedophiles preying on children. However, people, typically twitter wokescolds tend to focus on the art solely and I don’t know why. There’s a lot of MAPS trying to find their way into LGBT spaces and it’s fucking gross.

Now with Hazbin itself… It’s meh. Initially I watched it with rose-tinted glasses and loved it. After watching it for like… the 3rd, 4th, 5th time? It’s alright. I don’t hate it, but it’s far from perfect. Now ofc I know it’s a pilot but a very lengthy pilot I’ll say. My biggest gripe with the pilot is that the editing is really fucking weird. Like the editing where Angel tells Alastor “I can suck yah dick!” and the scene that followed was really off. It seemed like too many cuts were made in that instance and seemed very cluttered. It also feels that way during Charlie singing “Inside Every Demon is a Rainbow” and how many little animated bits were like almost wiped off the screen by how fast it came by, and ntm there was just so much happening all at once on screen as well. I had to pause at points just to process everything that was happening. The palette is also very, very, verrrry red. There’s so much red going on and like… I get it, it’s in hell. But lemme rest my eyes on something else besides red, please. The palette they use needs to be better diversified, and the same goes for the characters too. Every character seems to have red on them. Whenever Baxter shows up later he’s gonna look really out of place. Some of the jokes were ok, and others seemed non-clever. I didn’t think Angel’s joke about sucking Al’s dick was funny. I did like the joke with Pentious and Angel though. “SON??” Some of it could’ve been written better too.

Regarding the drama with the show itself… Personally I don’t get it. Like, I don’t feel as if Angel is homophobic as a character since his queerness isn’t at the face of the jokes he makes? He just happens to be sex worker which… sex workers are fine? Support sex workers y’all, seriously. There’s also nothing intrinsically wrong with being sexually active either? As long as it’s within reason and you’re being trustworthy.The issue lies in the fact that people viewed the things I just mentioned as negative, and associate it with gay people as said negatively portrayed thing to push the sentiment of “Gay man do sex a lot therefore the gays bad” or that sort of thing. Also there’s a bit where it shows there’s more emotional depth to him and I’m hoping they’ll expand on that later. Honestly though, the criticisms in regards to that have been pretty uncharitable. Same with the criticisms for Vaggie. Apparently Vaggie is racist because… she’s loud and angry? Again, this is a case where people assume those traits are negative, and because it’s assumed to be negative, the negatively portrayed thing pushes the sentiment of “Being a loud fiery woman made, and latina women are that, therefore latina women bad” or some shit.  There are stereotypes that are bad no matter what the context is like sambo-esque caricatures of black people. Then there are tropes that are applied to certain demographics that have the capability to be written well into characters without it being offensive or disrespectful. Vaggie is literally angry because she’s protective of her gf. Like. C’mon.

So, I think that settles what I think about that? It honestly seems like superficial shit to me tbh, and I’m saying this as an sjw-y beta cuck anarchist.

The only REAL gripe I have, is with what the mod from @zpheadcanons posted. Because I know this is probably true as much as it hurts me to say it. Faust def has a history of being pretty petty and bully-like to people she deems undesirable, and Viv harbors it by not criticizing it, and if anyone else within their friend group does it then you’re scolded vehemently and treated like garbage. Her attitude also stretches to harboring an audience full of white knights that I personally don’t approve of.

There’s also this

Faust has hurt distant people I personally know and… yeah. Maybe I’m biased but I can’t vibe with that. Sorry. If you don’t make an effort to criticize abusive behavior within your own friend circles then that makes you just as bad, because then you’re just a bystander to things you could have prevented.

This isn’t to say Viv herself hasn’t dealt with bad faith actors, or people who had the intention to hurt her, or very uncharitable criticism. Particularly from the badwebcomics forums which is honestly 4chan like in how they operate. It’s vicious as hell, and a lot of their criticisms boil down to insults and personal attacks, which serve to be nonconstructive. That’s not to say Viv has been kind to even the more charitable criticism though. I know because when I happened to send an ask to the zoophobia criticism blog (where did it go???) regarding something relatively minor and superficial, she blocked me from her blog. I’m still blocked lmfao. I’m not blocked on twitter though! (not yet anyways). Faust has me blocked there though, and I have no idea why. She’s had me blocked for years even though I haven’t spoken out against her till recently. So, there’s that.

As for her apology itself, I feel like it was fine. I think it could’ve been worded better? The take I disagree with in terms of that is like… If I made a mistake in the past, and I make it clear that I don’t care for what I did, I don’t feel as if me explaining why I felt compelled to do certain things negate me from still not caring for my past actions? That’s just me providing context. That’s a really weird take, but I guess that could be viewed as an excuse idk. Personally I think people are holding the bar super high to a state of irrationality.

*sigh* So yeah there’s that. I miss the old days where honestly I could be ignorant about this, but at the same time I look at my old obsessive posts and I kinda just… cringe. I was such an irrational stan I almost hate myself for it. Fuck XD

Edit: I’d also like to point out that I’m not saying Viv or Faust are totally awful or totally good people, and I know they’re capable of being better. It’s a matter of whether or not they wanna be better.

Finding Kurt Hummel: Homecoming

Masterpost

6x02: Homecoming

I really need to knock the rest of these out -- hopefully soon I will! But man, there’s a lot more in season 6 than you might realize.  A lot of these episodes are pretty packed.  

At the beginning of the episode, we get a lot more Blaine-meta-ish things, and the one thing I’d like to pull from it is that Blaine’s getting therapy.  Yup, that’s right, both these boys are getting their heads checked by a professional - and that’s a good thing! Look, I don’t think Kurt and Blaine are going to live a 100% perfect and happy life-  no couple can accomplish that, but the fact that they’re both trying to better themselves is a huge thing, and recognizing that is a step forward in becoming adults (I mean, not even adults make the best choices to better their mental health).  So yeah, they might not patch up things perfectly, but I think there’s a lot of subtext (cause Glee’s always been subtext) that shows they’re both in better places by the time season 6 starts. 

The New Monday Night Dinner

So, because Will is a character again (ug) we start having Monday night dinners at his place (ug, ug).  Okay, it’s not really that - but he’s supposedly having all the show choir directors over for a friendly chat? How convenient that they’re all former students.  And why is Sam there? You know what - I’m not gonna think too hard about this. 

The main thing is that Rachel and Kurt are already having issues being co-directors because it’s Rachel and Kurt. 

And then Blaine arrives and Kurt feels super awkward about it.  I mean how do you act when you’ve dumped the person you love the most in the world and now have to be in a semi-casual social situation with them with your former teacher, former roommate whom your ex once made out with and who will some day carry your child, and former dude whom you both had a crush on.  This show is weird guys.  

Anyway, Kurt’s actually happy to see Blaine - even if Blaine is totally ignoring Kurt’s there.  And then Will turns the conversation to ‘everyone be nice to each other’, which lasts about five seconds when they try to give Blaine some advice about a girl being in the Warblers and Blaine is unsure about it.  It’s awkward.  But hanging out with your ex whom you aren’t actually speaking to at this moment is always gonna be awkward.  

Getting the Gang Back Together

Um, what even is this outfit trying to say, Kurt?  Are you the colorful walking dead? 

Anyway - Rachel and Kurt start their tenure as semi-teachers by organizing sheet music.  And let’s just say it -- they both have the most absurd way of doing it.  Just -- no, genre than artist, that’s it you weirdos.  But of course, Kurt would do it by emotion.  

You know what - say what you will about Kurt and Blaine’s communication -- Rachel and Kurt have by far less communication going on.  They’ve worked for two hours at ‘organization’ before they realized they were doing two different things.  Oh Hummelberry.  

Anyway, we get another argument from them - cause that’s what they do best.  And Kurt basically says what should have been said hours ago - that this is pointless without members.  However, if he’s doing his work study here (don’t ask me to define what exactly his work study is - I don’t get it either), shouldn’t he be proactive, too, in getting kids to sign up?  And what’s with the defeatist attitude Kurt? Kid’s still got issues relating to his break-up.  

(It’s also times like these that I do wish we had gotten a final career related story for Kurt, but alas, all the things we never had). 

Anyway, Kurt storms out as he usually does when having a fight and made his point.  

So - after a scene of Rachel following a disembodied voice to the men’s locker room -- we get Kurt meeting her in the auditorium and, sigh, apologizing for hurting her feelings.  Again.  Cause he’s never done that before.  

I think I’m tired of Hummelberry, guys.  

Anyway - weirdly, he apologizes for the things he said in the previous scene about her life.  Which, um, is weird - cause he didn’t actually take any personal shots at her -- which means they edited out some extra dialogue.  Man, I wish they had left that in - but can’t be too mean to Rachel.  

Anyway - Rachel says, yeah, they have to be proactive in getting people to join us - so she’s pulled in some favors.  Idk why Kurt is so -- who did you bring in Rachel?!?  He could have easily figured it out.  

Well everyone is all the former cast members who are still living and aren’t really part of the main cast anymore.  It’s Homecoming - so it seems fitting.  Though, I have to say.  Everyone looks like they’ve aged about ten years -- which isn’t a bad thing, it just means this little coda of a season would have felt better placed much further in the future.  

Anyway - Kurt’s surprised and happy to see all his old friends.  I have to say though - I miss that Blaine isn’t there.  I know he can’t because plot and the fact they’re trying to reset back to season 2 but still. 

Anyway - who cares if any of this makes sense, we have the gang back together again. 

Go they gather everyone in the choir room and explain that they need help getting the kids to join.  And Kurt’s super frigidity.  Huh.  I think there’s some room to explore Kurt as someone who is an anxious kid with minor OCD tendencies.  Cause that feels very apparent here.  

It’s funny that they rattle on about how much they need their friends to band together and save glee club because the school needs it -- when really, both Rachel and Kurt need it.  I mean, that is kind of the point of this season, but...  it’s just interesting to think about.  I mean, it’ll come full circle when Kurt talks about choosing another path to take at the end of the season.  They both hit rock bottom and now they’re looking for something to fill the space that will help them get back on the right track.  And their cause is saving the glee club.  

Hm.  It’s just interesting that this season of Glee is kind of one last stop in Lima before going out in to the world to really be the person you’re supposed to be.  I’m sorry the story wasn’t developed a tad more (except in the case of Rachel) but that’s what it is.  It’s almost fitting, then that I’m wrapping these up with the same kind of mentality.  It’s nice to have that one last thought and move on.  Anyway -- I’m getting meta on myself, lol... 

So - their brilliant plan is to sing in the school - cause that’s always worked in the past, lol.  And they do an 80s classic - because it’s Glee and the last season and Ryan Murphy has to get in all those hits that he didn’t use yet. 

But I think what stands out to me about this performance is that it’s less about the lyrics (which I don’t think make much sense anyway) and more about the visual style.  They’re recreating the music video, yes, but also adding the same elements of style used in the video -- the whole running from the police (Sue) thing, and it’s really pretty cool.  

You can’t get a really good luck at Kurt’s 80s outfit - but here it is, and this goober is just having a lot of fun dancing on the tables and singing in his high register.  It’s nice that they’ve now fully incorporated Chris’s voice into the group numbers -- especially when he’s not going to be singing much on his own.  

Gay Legacy

So, I guess later that day, Kurt goes to try to recruit the gay football player.  Cause, damn, if Ryan Murphy still is clinging on to his closested football player issues.  I really don’t know why Kurt’s wasting his time -- Spencer obviously doesn’t want to be a part of the team, nor have we seen any indication that he actually has some kind of performing arts talents.  But I suppose this scene is supposed to be a commentary on the current state of the LGBT community.  

Actually, that’s exactly what it’s about and it’s kinda fascinating.  The thing about this conversation is to show just how far things have come from 2009.  Society has become more accepting of the LGBT community (obviously, it’s got a long ways to go - but from when Glee started, a lot of progress has been made).  And we’re now here talking about different types of LGBT people.  Kurt can’t and isn’t the catch all for gay anymore - that definition has widen (even if it’s always been that wide and diverse, we can now, as a society, have that conversation).  And now even gay kids can have various inspiration to pull on - it doesn’t have to be musicals, it can be Modern Family.  And that even though Kurt and Spencer share a preference for men, doesn’t make them any more similar than any other two guys. 

So, yeah, it’s interesting that this scene (and the following one that Kurt’s not in) has less to do with the story and recruitment, as it is Glee’s usual way of knocking down the fourth wall and saying - yeah, okay so we’re not relevant like we used to be, but we did have an impact.  

Meanwhile, in actual story time - we get to remember that Kurt was once on the football team -- and learn that Spencer is an asshole, and I’m still not sure why Kurt’s trying so hard to recruit him. 

Recruitment

Kurt next pops up when Brittany is giving him advice on how to win Blaine back -- which involves burning all his clothes (yes, nude Kurt) but getting normal clothes (um, he’s been dressing ‘normally’ for a while now), and then being honest with him (yes do that!) about being a Barbara Bush impersonator (wtf Brittany?).  Kurt’s equally confused as the rest of us and moves on with his life as he should.  

However - I have to wonder - did they know at this point that Brittany was gonna try to get them back together? I have no idea.  None of Brittany’s actions make sense most of the time, so I shouldn’t think too much about it. 

Meanwhile - the main issue is that they’ve all failed to recruit members - mostly because none of them really know what they hell they’re doing.  But then Roderick’s magical voice floats through the vents (sure) and they’re all mystified and run to go find him.  

They find Roderick in the library - and why do they all look terrifying in this scene?  Come join the cult - Roderick, lol.  Anyway - they get a new member.  

And I’ll take a second and talk about the season 6 newbies - who are actually pretty interesting.  They aren’t cut from the same cloth of the originals as the season 4 newbies, their story lines all converge with existing characters, and we’re not forced to sit through any awkward love triangles.  They served a function and it worked, too bad this didn’t happen way back in season 4 - the show might have lasted longer. 

And then we get a long speech about what it is to be in glee.  Cause apparently we needed that reminder.  Kurt doesn’t say anything but nod in the background as other people give speeches.  Ah yes, we’re back in season 1 again aren’t we. 

Roderick auditions for Glee -- cause tradition - and Kurt... doesn’t really do anything.  But he’s there looking pretty so... 

First Meeting

So, ha, okay.  Roderick is their only recruit and he shows up and Kurt has this nice speech about how you can’t go back again, but maybe you can make something new and better out of the ashes of the old thing.  And I think that’s kind of cool -- because it’s not just about glee or his career, but about his relationship with Blaine.  Like I said earlier, even though they’re all home again, the point is to go in a, god help me, new direction -- one that’s better than before, and as we’re coming to the ending of the show, I kind of like that there’s a sentiment that says - yeah you can and are allowed to start over and do things again.  Second chances are a thing. 

However, they’re stopped quickly because Blaine comes in, screaming about how Jane was poached by Rachel and will now be in New Directions instead of the Warblers.  Blaine, who is clearly still angry (and very confused about his emotions) at Kurt blames Kurt for making it all happen -- which is ridiculous, but c’mon Kurt, Blaine’s allowed to have some residual issues.  Kurt even tries to say that it’s fine because the Warblers have a lot of people and New Directions don’t - but Blaine’s pushing back.  Which is actually a good thing, tbh, even if he is a little off the handle here.  Blaine’s no longer going to be a doormat - and that works much better for the balance of he and Kurt in the long run.  

Kurt and Blaine are on their way to being on equal footing again, but here there’s still a lot of pain that hasn’t been healed yet.  Subtext!! 

Homecoming

Alright, so official glee club has started! And they get two more members as the weird cheerleader twins join.  And it’s all happiness and joy as this new/final chapter has officially begun. 

And then we get the final number - Home - where Kurt gets to sing in his lovely lower register.  :D  And the Homecoming celebration officially starts.  It’s a little weird to see the kids doing something so high school normal, lol, but hey it’s a fun time to celebrate.  

So, um, Kurt, Sam, and Artie go spy on Spencer because -- tradition? I mean, that’s one of the themes of episode.  Let’s go with tradition. 

Anyway, being back is actually kinda bittersweet for Kurt because being back home means that there are still a lot of unresolved issues from the past to deal with. 

Blaine and Karofsky are there - and Blaine is intentionally not looking at Kurt, as Kurt looks like he’s been stabbed in the heart watching from afar.  The song plays on - Home is when I’m with you.  Well, Rachel and Mercedes and McKinley is home, but there’s a bit ‘home’ that’s missing in Kurt’s heart.  We’re gonna get there - but we do have a little ways to go. ;) 

Comprehensive list of ‘Safe to Watch’ Anime (W.I.P)

This post is made up of three lists: ‘Safe To Watch’ ‘Almost’, and ‘Blind Reccomendations and Suggestions’.

‘SAFE’ TO WATCH

If memory serves me correctly, these anime are free from overt fanservice or anything that slaps you in the face with how problematic it is. This list will be worked on an added to over time. I’ll only really be focusing on shows that I think are worth a watch

1) Tokyo Mew Mew - Watch subbed due to 4Kids style butchering in the dub. Luckily that doesn’t happen anymore these days in dubs.

2) Little Witch Academia - A series on Netflix that can only be described as The Worst Witch - The Anime. Watch sub or dub depending on your preference.

3) Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood - Also on Netflix. Probably one of the highest rated anime of all time, and has multiple well-portrayed female characters and even some racial diversity. It’s set in a Europe inspired setting, so I recommend watching dubbed. Although the dub is just great anyway. Skip episode 1 and go straight to episode 2, as the first episode is actually filler and even contains a spoiler.

4) Attack on Titan

5) Love Live! School Idol Project Season 2, and Love Live! The School Idol Movie. Season 1 of Love Live is an ‘ALMOST’, but I’ll get to that in the next list. You shouldn’t skip season 1 though, for story reasons.

6) Digimon Tamers - The most well written of all the Digimon shows, with good character arcs. Can be watched on Amazon Prime.

7) Tokyo Ghoul. Shame about the second season ignoring the manga almost completely though

8) Love, Chunibyo and Other Delusions Season 1 - A story about young teenagers who either went through a phase of believing they had superpowers and were some kind of anime character, or still haven’t outgrown that phase and still like to pretend they have special powers.

There’s no real fanservice in either season, but season 2 has two seperate instances of a very minor homosexual female character being portrayed as a bit weird and deviant. Season 1 is completely clean though, so watch that and decide for yourself whether to keep watching.

9) Cardcaptor Sakura - Same genre as Tokyo Mew Mew. Again watch subbed for the same reason as TMM. It also has subtle portrayals of homosexuality, being a work by CLAMP, and there doesn’t seem anything wrong with it as far as I’m aware. People who are actually queer can have the final say on that though.

10) Strawberry Panic - A show about an all girl’s school where being gay is just the norm. And believe it or not, it’s NOT a porno! Again, people who are actually queer can have the final say on whether the portrayals are okay or not, but from my perspective everyone seems to just be a person who happens to be gay, considering that homosexuality is treated as normal and nothing special in this show.

11) Yuri on Ice

12) Wolf Children - An animated film that’s just really good. The story of a mother raising what are basically werewolves but with complete control over when they can transform. Her challenge is whether to raise them as humans or as wolves.

13) Yona Of The Dawn - Story of a spoiled princess in Ancient Japan who gradually grows into a strong individual. I’ve also been informed that the multitude of men in the cast are also all rather attractive, if that’s a selling point for you xD Yona of the Dawn can be watched on Funimation Now.

14) Madoka Magica - It’s been almost five years since I’ve seen this, but I’m absolutely certain there was no fanservice. I recommend you watch this only after seeing a show like Tokyo Mew Mew/Cardcaptor Sakura, or Sailor Moon, as Madoka Magica is part of the same genre ('Magical Girl’) but expects you to have already seen the classic magical girl shows or at least know a little bit about them. Give it four episodes before you judge it. Trust me, this is the most extreme example of not judging by the first couple of episodes. 15) My Love Story - I mean when a stranger gets arrested for trying to feel a girl on the train and gets promptly punched in the face for basically saying that 'she was asking for it wearing a skirt that short’, you know the writer’s got their head on straight morally. 16) Wandering Son - “ Effeminate fifth grader Shuuichi Nitori is considered by most to be one of the prettiest girls in school, but much to her dismay, she is actually biologically male. Fortunately, Shuuichi has a childhood friend who has similar feelings of discomfort related to gender identity: the lanky tomboy Yoshino Takatsuki, who, though biologically female, does not identify as a girl. These two friends share a similar secret and find solace in one another; however, their lives become even more complicated when they must tread the unfamiliar waters of a new school, attempt to make new friends, and struggle to maintain old ones. Faced with nearly insurmountable odds, they must learn to deal with the harsh realities of growing up, transexuality, relationships, and acceptance. Lauded as a decidedly serious take on gender identity and LGBT struggles, Takako Shimura’s Hourou Musuko is about Shuuichi and Yoshino’s attempts to discover their true selves as they enter puberty, make friends, fall in love, and face some very real and difficult choices.”

More to come

THE 'ALMOST’ LIST

These are shows that are about 95% okay, but have one or two tiny moments or a small aspect about them that are a bit 'ehhh’. Nevertheless, I believe every show on this list is still worth a watch due to them very good for the vast majority of the show regardless.

1) Love Live! School Idol Project Season 1 - Love Live is usually so innocent that it’s practically the Disney/My Little Pony of anime; singing and dancing included. But clearly someone on the writing staff was a little confused and thought they were writing some terrible Adult Swim comedy or something, because this one gag that they clearly thought was so hilarious it had to be included, left everyone including Japanese viewers thinking “What the hell!?”

If I could put the series into Windows Movie Maker and edit out five seconds from episode 2 and about 10 seconds from episode 7 (ESPECIALLY those ten seconds from episode 7) then I’m sure a large majority of the fandom would rejoice. It’s such a tonal whiplash and I’m kind of concerned for the writer who finds this funny. I’ve been told that apparently real high school girls in Japan do that to their friends as a prank or just to piss about, but the difference there is that it’s between friends who trust each other.

…However, there is actually a happy end to this story, as I’ve been told that Japanese viewers actually complained to the people behind the show, and THEY LISTENED! When working on season 2, they clearly listened to fan feedback as Nozomi never did that again. It was so out of place in the show anyway, and so uncomfortably portrayed.

Nevertheless, the other 95% of Love Live is this wonderful colourful, bright, heartwarming show with a great main character and catchy music and it went above all my expectations of it, and I while I wouldn’t normally condone ignoring problematic things, the fact that it’s literally such a tiny tiny amount of the show’s running time, and the fact that the complaints were heard and they learnt their lesson, means that with a well timed fast forward (I might look up the exact times to skip at some point ) you can skip past those two moments and improve your watching experience. I just wish there was a version with it edited out completely. ___________________

2) Death Note - Barely any female characters other than Misa, who may divide opinion on how she’s portayed. However it’s a fantastic watch regardless, and is fanservice free

3) Mirai Nikki/Future Diary - Mao. A bit of a problematic portrayal of a homosexual female as her sexuality seems to be her main character trait. She’s a minor side character though, so it depends how invested you are before she pops up halfway through the show.

There’s also a little brief female nudity, in a Game Of Thrones way that kind of comes across more as 'Look how mature we are!’ which of course has the opposite effect… However it’s never portrayed in a pornographic way from what I remember, and in one case is even used to unnerve/disturb. Opinions will vary though.

The third episode also features a slightly questionable moment where Yuno loses her bikini top in the pool. Now, you don’t see anything and she does hide herself, and in retrospect she probably did that on purpose to get Yuki more interested in her, but the gut reaction is more “um…. please don’t let my parents walk in right now :L”

It’s a bit more of an ask than the others, but the plot to this is so thrilling and twisting that I couldn’t help love it regardless

4) Parasyte: The Maxim

The quickest a show has ever redeemed itself. This show sees the main character’s hand getting taken over by an alien parasite, but the first episode decides that it’d be 'hilarious’ if the parasite hand accidently grabs his friend’s breast when trying to get the hang of controlling it. But a few episodes later, after several days of her being understandably mad at him (although the fact that it was the parasite’s fault and not his complicated it), he apologises (although missing out the part about the alien parasite) and I feel the show does a good job of acknowledging that it’s wrong and in no way supports it. It’s early on right there in the first episode, so once you’re past that it’s clean sailing for the rest of the show

5) Steins;Gate - While some find the first half a bit slow, Steins;Gate becomes phenomenal in the second half. Only problem is that the self-proclaimed mad scientist Okabe Rintaro is more science-smart than social-smart, and there’s a thing he does purely out of shock and scientific curiosity when he finds himself in an alternate timeline where a friend of his may now be a different sex. Needless to say, it’s better to just ask rather than check… He’s told off for it and the characters on screen are understandably shocked, but that’s exactly my reaction as well and this uncomfortable moment is a blight on an otherwise fantastic show

6) Sailor Moon - The classic Magical Girl show that influenced the likes of Tokyo Mew Mew and moved the genre forwards. It also features canonically a canonically gay couple about 150 episodes in. Looking back nowadays though, the Nostalgia Critic said it best (skip to 9:00): https://youtu.be/pa2oHxME-aY I never found it attractive in that way myself, possibly because I could see they were cartoons and not real with the 90s art style the show has, but it still can't be denied that it's a bit awkward with their age

7) Gatchaman Crowds, and Gatchaman Crowds Insight - A superhero show that takes a surprising turn into kind-of deeper social and politcal commentary. It really is fantastic, but some may look at the flamboyant looking character OD and see it as a perpetuation of a stereotype. One the other hand, he’s never actually stated or shown to be gay, just fashionable in his own way and flamboyant. To be honest he actually struck me as pretty awesome for just dressing however he wants, especially when the top hat comes in to the mix. I thought the same about Rui, a character refered to by everyone as male but wears clothes traditionally seen as female, as well as a wig, and looks pretty awesome doing it. Both these characters are never the butt of a joke and are generally just accepted by everyone without being commented on. I will also mention Utsustu, a minor character who sometimes just casually wears a bikini as clothes. But surprisingly there’s no camera close ups of her chest or anything fanservice-y. We view the show through the lens of the very open minded main character Hajime. When Hajime firsts meets Utsustu, she just comments “cute swimsuit!” and asks her where she got it from. To me this gave the impression that, like the main character Hajime, we shoud accept that this is how she sometimes likes to dress, and more power to her if she wants to. Not to mention that there is way more to her character than what she wears. I think the show in general has good elements of celebrating self-expression in these three characters, but I can see why some would disagree.

Often there’s a debate when it comes to localisation and censorship, but with most of the shows above I kind of wish that a censored version was at least available because for people like me they’d be an improvement. But I feel that as long as you acknowledge that a moment is wrong and acknowledge what’s wrong with it and talk about it, you can still enjoy the rest of the show since you won’t be pretending it’s okay and your own morals won’t be influenced by it. Feel free to disagree with me though _______________ BLIND RECOMMENDATIONS 1) Snow White with the Red Hair - Not one I’ve seen myself but was suggested to me for this list 2) Whispered Words. “ Murasame Sumika is popular in the high school for her excellence in the marks and sports. However, she has a secret: she is in love with her classmate Kazama Ushio. Ushio also has a liking to the love between girls, but she hasn’t noticed Sumika’s feelings and has always been refused by other girls.” Apparently a very relatable story for any closeted girl. 3) Samurai Flamenco -” Male model Masayoshi Hazama becomes the superhero Samurai Flamenco and fights crime. “

How do I write an autistic villain without demonizing autism by accident? ;-;

I’m not really sure why you’re messaging this to me. I’m really sorry but I’m not an expert on like.. political stuff about autism stereotyping, just because I’m autistic. And it depends on which country you live in, I know that america has a far more visible sort of cultural presence for stereotypes, due to the whole Autism $peaks controversies. I dont live in america and I’m not super smart or anything, so yeah this is a disclaimer that this is just my opinion and you should probably research answers given by other people too. And maybe ask people about the specific circumstances of what you’re writing, like the context of the setting of the story and what the villain is like, etc. I’d be happy to chat to you about that if you need help! (but again, im no expert, lol)

ANYWAY!

My opinion on the subject is that having an autistic villain is perfectly fine, as long as you’re not villainizing autism. Like...* Don’t make the autism the reason theyre a villain.* Don’t make people scared of them because of the autism, rather than because they’re a villain.* Don’t treat their autistic traits as scary or inherantly villainous.* Don’t make anyone insult them for their autism and act like its justified because they’re evil.

And similarly its bad form to do any of that stuff in regard to any sort of minority really. An example that always bugged me is how Excellus from Fire Emblem Awakening is scary and evil because he’s a murderous monster, yet everyone in the game constantly insults him for the fact he acts ambiguously gay/transgender/effeminate. Like, there’s way too many jokes about people finding him ‘disgusting’ because of some random thing he can’t change, like a sexuality, race or mental illness which plenty of non-evil people have too! It also lessens his impact as a villain because the characters barely even address the actual villainous things he does, and he doesnt seem to have any motive at all. They just ride on the whole ‘the audience will find him gross’ thing as a crutch and forgot to bother writing a good villain.

Oh, and your concerns are indeed valid, yo! Sometimes it is important to think about the context you created a character in, even if you didnt intentionally create any negative messages within your writing.It’s just that the case where a character will be seen as villainizing [minority trait] for being a villain... that’s kind of only in a very specific circumstance? its just that this specific circumstance is very very common in mass media nowadays.It’s ‘The Smurfette Principle’.If you only have one character of a minority in your cast, its easy for an uninformed audience to pick up messages that you’re saying ALL members of that minority are the same as them.If you only have one autistic character and he’s the villain, then you might accidentally be villainizing him. In a world where autistic characters being villainized for their autism is already very common, people could just assume you made them autistic for the same reason all those other writers did- because they think it’s ‘scary’. It feeds the stereotype even if you didn’t conciously intend it that way.

So a very very easy way to fix this problem is just to add multiple characters of a minority into your story, filling various roles from villain to hero to helpful npc. or anything you can think of!

Another good quick fix is to have your villain be autistic, but portray their autistic traits as sympathetic/relateable/a humanizing aspect of them. Not just portraying it as something neutral that doesnt make them scary, but going out of your way to add some scenes showing how they’re just like anybody else. Or even making it one of their redeeming traits!It doesn’t have to outright be something like ‘yo being autistic makes me inherantly good and childlike’, which is a stereotype all to itself, lol. But you could show them experiencing predjudice from another character, in a way that makes the audience sympathise. Honestly having a character attack them for being autistic instead of being a villain would be a good way to do this, as long as that character is actually shown as being wrong for what they’re doing. Or simply showing the villain having common autistic traits, facing common problems, doing common everyday things... that can be enough to portray autism positively. Have them shown doing this stuff outside of the situation of them being villainous. It makes them feel more human and less of an abstract symbol of evil. And because these small glimpses of normality are lightening the mood, they become seen as a positive aspect!

KIND OF AN OFFTOPIC TANGEANT SORRYJust my personal experience as an autistic kid experiencing this story... I personally headcanoned Cyrus from pokemon as autistic. Not because he’s ‘scary and emotionless’, but because his backstory was relateable to me as an autistic person. It’s said that his parents were emotionally abusive, and that he had nobody to turn to because everyone thought he was ‘a creepy kid’. And he was able to find solace by obsessing over repairing machines in his bedroom, and apparantly has trouble understanding people because they can’t be fixed as easily. Stuff like maths and science are kind of a stereotypical Special Interest for autistic children to be given in fiction, I guess because it makes you seem more intelligent when you obsess about that instead of video games, norse mythology, or collecting tiny novelty spoons from around the world XD (Yeah i was a weird kid.)So yeah sorry I went a little offtopic there, but the point is that it might have been by accident instead of intention but that villain has a lot of traits that read as autistic. And when i first played Diamond and Pearl I actually disliked him a lot because of that, I felt like they were villainizing someone who seemed relateable and potentially redeemable. I mean, he seemed pretty depressed too! Give that man some therapy! But when I played Platinum and got to learn his backstory I started to feel like the writers actually did want us to feel sympathetic to him, because of how all those ‘scary’ traits were presented so sympathetically. Like.. the backstory isn’t that he became evil because he was an autistic kid who did creepy things like obsess about machinery and suck at social contact. No, he became a villain because he was abused by his parents, him being ‘weird’ is just intended to make it clear here that he didnt deserve it. It makes him pitiable, it makes him relateable, it makes you feel so much more frustrated that nobody listened to him and saved him from that hell, and nobody even seems to remember him fondly, just because he was ‘weird’. And hell, even his ‘emotion is evil’ philosophy seems very relateable to me as an autistic child. It seems like he learned to seclude himself to avoid angering his parents. That’s the impression I got from his final scene in Platinum, where he finally acts angry at you for beating him, then gets angry at himself for expressing emotion and forces himself to go back to how he usually talks. I get a bit pissed off whenever I see fans of the series claim he actually IS emotionless, lol! This scene made it clear to me that this is just a guy who WISHES he was emotionless, somehow seeing it as the only way to be free of pain. Someone who struggles to deal with his own emotions, or feels like he’s disgusting when he expresses them. And this is VERY relateable specifically to an autistic kid who suffered from an abusive parent! “Quiet Hands” is a kind of common concept that autistic kids might experience, that’s the name for a popular ‘parenting technique’ that really fucks people up. Focusing on making your kid never ‘act autistic’, rather than actually helping them understand things. ‘Quiet Hands’ is specifically about slapping or smacking your kid whenever they show stimming behaviour. (Hand flapping being a common way this symptom can manifest.) We’re taught never to be too loud, and to always always have to restrain ourselves to avoid embarassing our parents. We have to try and learn how to act like ‘normal people’ and become scared of harmless parts of our own brain just because theyre ‘embarassing’, leading to even worse emotional problems as an adult. i mean seriously how is it logical to tell a kid who has troubles with social interaction that they shouldnt even practise it?? Plus its a huge mess to teach these kids to do way more emotional labour than neurotypical kids are expected to do, and then treat them like they’re below average intelligence for not being able to do twice as much as everyone else...

ANYWAY! That’s a thinG! Sorry I went rambling off there about how a particular fictional character touched my heart, lol!I just kinda wish he could be canonically autistic, or if I had similar canonically autistic characters to relate to, instead. So i think having more autistic villains can’t be bad, we’re so badly in need of more autistic characters in general! And villains have a unique perspective of being able to hit our emotions the hardest. I think its easier to cry over someone who has a sad backstory of how they became evil, compared to anything else!So yeah what I was trying to say before I went offtopic is that if the backstory is ‘became evil because autism’, then people will complain. But if the backstory is ‘became evil because someone mistreated them because autism’ then that’s a good way to make people sympathise with autism. Aaaaand I’m bad at explaining this, because autism XD Well, i mean, my personal symptoms and lack of diagnosis til I was an adult means that I’m still working on learning how to communicate correctly, I don’t mean every autistic person writes terrible tl;dr advice posts that degrade into pokemon XDOh man i feel embarassed now, you asked me such a polite question and I didnt know how to answer it very well...I just hope maybe I inspired you to go out and do more research, rather than putting you off with my nonsense!

some Bad Opinions and lots of mumbling including stuff about fandoms and kin stuff n thoughts of self diagnosis 

i’ve never really liked fandoms. i never feel comfortable in them i always feel there is a hierarchy and that the ‘popular people’ in them are always. overly rude to everyone else. i often feel left out with fandom stuff that way ?

but it’s either:  - there’s bad people - there’s lots of drama - both

warrior cats fandom specifically. ‘adults’ ( anyone over 18 ) would get Run Out of the fandom basically because it’s ‘kid’s books’. i keep out of drama and try not to stick myself into it but. I am also Very Snoopy when it comes to that and honestly. a lot of the drama was kin drama if anything and it was. usually the minors

obviously i can’t blame a Group for that but still the warrior cat fandom was. So Hostile about. 2 years ago when i was active in it. kin stuff was Such a Big Deal with everyone and you weren’t allowed to ship x and x cat because of x thing and like. yeah it Makes Sense if it’s an Actually Bad Ship but ??? idk everyone was overly rude about it. or specific users but i can’t even remember their url and i wouldn’t namedrop anyway but. Still

kin stuff in general is just so. Holy Fuck. people get So Pissy about it ??? i’m not against otherkin or anything i don’t actively ccall myself otherkin or fictionkin anymore because i dont wanna Get Hate and shit for it but it’s probably still up on my tumblr somewhere idk i haven’t edited for ages lmao

anyway. everyone is so. overly pissy about it ? just ? “can’t do this can’t do that” or really bad excuses like “im kin with x thing for coping” and this is just My Bad Opinion but

Coping Kin Doesn’t Help

at least it didn’t help me. it made me feel more isolated. i was in a few kin chats and such and still i felt. alone with it. it rreally doesn’t help and It Isn’t a Good Cope. it’s okay to relate to a character and stuff e.g. “this character has x and so do i” “that character is gay and so am i” and ‘coping’ that way, sort of thing but. as a general thing it really. doesn’t help.

i’m probably gunna get kicked in the teeth for that tbh but still like idk. personally kin stuff just Made My Mental Stuff Worse. it helped a little here and there but it made me Anxious about getting hate, or anxious about someone saying i can’t be kin with x character or something ( and honestly most my kins are/were just. main characters of things. really problematic characters )

and im sure i’m not the only person who has felt/feels that way. and that’s the reason why it didn’t help me feel any better.

self diagnosis side idk i just

i’ve JUST started seeing a mental health nurse ( one appointment with her. one phone appointment with someone else )

and my thoughts on self diagnosis have ( and always have been ) the same thing: - it’s helpful if you’re worried about having something, and bring it up with a doctor. don’t say “i have x thing” when it’s not officially diagnosed and don’t use it as an excuse

yes sometimes you can diagnose things yourself ( depression and anxiety for example. it’s pretty easy to tell when you have both or either of those ) but still if you think you have something, it’s better to go in and See If You Do and get help with it. over “i have this, it’s my excuse why i’m acting this way” which is a Big Excuse i see A Lot

not saying mental illness doesn’t affect your actions but just. i dislike it when people say that as an excuse to their actions over an apology or a calm discussion or something ?? it’s rude to the other party ( unless they’re being rude back I Guess. but in that case just. don’t reply and block them ? )

and also i do understand that in cases there isn’t always access to help with mental health or a doctor. i’ve been waiting 4 years to see a proper professional because i didn’t have the funds, transport, or the support to do it. i called a place janurary last year to make an appointment but i had to cancel it because my mum doesn’t believe in mental illness ( moreso she thinks mental illness and mental disability/learning disability are all the same thing )

still if. you’re unwell and have the access to it i’d suggest that over self diagnosing and shoving things in abouts for it. plus you can get help which is what you’re meant to do when you’re unwell anyway ?

slightly off topic but:

i had an appointment the other week and my doctor told me to do breathing exercises for my anxiety. i’ve been told that A Lot. i see it A Lot. and i must’ve had a “fuck not this again” look on my face because he explained to me that

the breathing exercises are a type of medication in a way. they will help me feel better if i do them ( and they do. because i have been doing them. ) but what stuck with me was he told me that my Anxiety was a Medical Condition. i’ve never had someone tell me that before and it’s just really. Strong ?

i think that’s why i’ve been thinking about self-diagnosis recently. it’s like saying “oh i have x medical condition” without being checked for it. yes you might have a broken arm. get that fixed. but if you’re having stomach pains it could be a number of things. and that’s why you go to the doctor. i didn’t know the cause of my dizziness when i stand too long. it was because i was iron deficient which wasn’t what i thought it was in the first place

i’m just trying to make a point here i think that like. you can’t just say you have something without being diagnosed. and yes diagnosis can be wrong But. it offers Help and could be something more minor or, sadly, could be something worse.

idk i’m making this so long lmfao let’s see how many people kick me in the shins for saying all this idk i half feel like deleting it all but. i don’t Care Enough about my online representation to be shy of that so. Here you Go

Fruits of the “Straight”-”Gay” Dichotomy: A Guy’s Guilt Over What’s Natural

For the past few weeks and months, this blog has studied how modern sexual concepts are affecting our society. It has studied how the “Straight”-”Gay” dichotomy is instituting a form of human sexuality that has never been seen before. This website has also studied how that dichotomy - and the ideas it pushes - causes certain modern trends, like the stigmatization of everyday nudity and briefs.

However, in saying all of that, it’s one thing to read about overall trends and how they affect larger society. It’s quite another to see how it affects individual lives, especially those you know.

That is the purpose of this post: to study the real emotional toll that modern sexual concepts cause, as seen in regular people. This is part of a new series called “Fruits of the ‘Straight’-’Gay’ Dichotomy”. This series will analyze how that dichotomy manifests itself in complex, subtle ways we don’t think about. This will be done by analyzing certain mundane phenomena (like forum posts), and seeing how the dichotomy influences attitudes displayed therein. It will point out how much the dichotomy (and its ideas) rule our lives, how much damage it causes, and exactly why this system must be destroyed at once.

For this post, we will analyze a forum post from Virtual Teen, entitled “Feel regretful or bad after I do stuff with guys”. In looking through this page, it might provide a case study into how modern ideas are affecting teens and young adults.

Since replies are continuously being added, please note that the content here applies to the page as it appeared on February 17th, 2017.

Concerning the Original Poster

The opening post from user “Nicm15” starts off quite simply. Basically, he expresses that he feels guilty after he erotically interacts with other guys. What��s interesting is that he says he’s “only done a bit with other guys”, which means he’s had relatively little experience. Nevertheless, even that is too much for him, because after such experiences, he “felt really bad, and like regretted it kinda [sic]”. He then asks if others feel the same way.

He soon gets two replies from sympathetic posters. One of them is a reply from user “john1999”, who has likewise engaged in same-sex activity. To be specific, he has masturbated with his male friend on several occasions. However, this is not an activity that ends in satisfaction. Instead, he says that every time he and his friend finish masturbating, he always thinks the following: "Why did I do this...this was a bad idea". He then swears each time to never do it again. However, that guilt apparently isn’t a very strong deterrent, because every time he says he’ll never do it again, “I end up doing it again anyway”.

Another reply comes from user “DocMcLovins”, who has significantly less experience than the first two. In fact, he’s never sexually interacted with guys.  Instead, guys are merely the focus of his erotic fantasies: he feels compelled to masturbate after watching well-endowed guys showering at school. However, even this small manifestation of homoeroticism is too much. He says that he “sorta felt bad about that”. Thus, he limited himself to masturbate only to girls.

Now, before going any further, there’s a point I want to stress. Through many blog posts and links, this blog has repeatedly said that general same-sex activity is natural and normal, and had been viewed as such until very recently. Indeed, it becomes very clear that same-sex attraction and behavior is a universal trait of humans. It’s only certain forms of it - like anal play - that have been consistently taboo, and thus minority practices. As a result, these boys are doing exactly what they’re supposed to be doing. There is nothing they are doing that is widely unprecedented. Indeed, it is a reality that’s inescapable, as evidenced by the reply of “john1999”: even with immense guilt, he can’t help but do what he’s made to do.

However, it’s here that the tragedy of this comes into clear focus. The message of the domineering “Straight”-”Gay” dichotomy is the very opposite - that same-sex activity is abnormal and “queer”. It is that message that is enforcing itself on these posters, and thus affecting their thinking. Thus, because of the environment they are living in, these boys are being made to feel guilty over what is natural. They are feeling shame about something that merits none. They are being forced into conflict with something that should be embraced and enjoyed, as it was in Ancient Greece, where boys freely and constantly gave each other hours of pleasure.

What’s interesting is that religion is never mentioned in the entire thread. Thus, this is mainly a societal conflict, which by extension means conflict with the socially constructed “Straight”-”Gay” dichotomy.

However, the influence of the dichotomy doesn’t end there.

Regarding the posts of other users

When looking at the posts of other users, we see that the influence of the dichotomy is extremely strong. However, its power is enforced in more subtle ways than what we’ve just seen.

Within the “Straight”-”Gay” dichotomy, sexual contact is viewed as something inherently dirty and base. This might have to do with the highly capitalistic way it views sex - as a business transaction between buyer and seller, and not an equal exchange of love. Thus, a theme reverberating through the posts is that it’s perfectly normal to feel guilty after sex, because apparently it’s a base activity humans can’t avoid.

This is shown in a reply from “Straya”, who agrees with the original poster that feeling guilty is a “pretty standard after sex feeling.” A reply from “Ska8er” agrees: “When we masturbate it is like a high and then after we orgaz [sic] it becomes a downer. That is y [sic] some of us feel bad after doing it-experimenting or by ourselves.” Meanwhile, “jordand” says simply, “I felt depressed aftee [sic] doing stuff with a guy.”

As it turns out, some of the users do perceive that such guilt is socially motivated. User “pjones” says the following: “we are taught by society that it's wrong to be either ‘under age’ or to have any type of same sex experience. so feeling guilty is natural, wish is [sic] wasn't”. User “ilc.69” goes into more detail: “I've had two sexual encounters without actual intercourse with two guys and yeah, after them I kinda feel bad, but I think that's just because of social rules that makes you think it's bad.” Of course, both of these users are completely right. However, they might not realize exactly what is generating that guilt.

This leads to a related trend seen in the comments: the need to explain or excuse same-sex activity as “experimentation” or extreme horniness. This is something that reverberates constantly. An example is a comment by user “Jamie_n”, who says same-sex activity is just “normal puberty related curiosity”. Other comments explain it as just being experimentation, an extreme manifestation of overactive arousal, or just curiosity. In saying this, I’m not trying to castigate them. They are merely living what they learned, and that’s the problem.

These comments might seem benign, but in reality, they are reinforcing the main idea of the dichotomy - that same-sex activity is abnormal. Because of that, there’s a need to explain same-sex activity as a “curiosity”, “experimentation”, or as something unintentional or extreme. Under the ideas of the dichotomy, no one in their right mind should want to engage in same-sex activity, because that’s supposedly a weird thing to do.

There is one more point I’d like to stress. Some of the comments expressing those negative thoughts come from LGBT-identified users. When the LGBT movement purportedly supports the practice of all same-sex activity, it’s noteworthy that some community members still feel so insecure about their everyday actions. However, when one realizes the place the LGBT movement occupies in the dichotomy, it’s not surprising. Indeed, the “gay” side of the dichotomy has internalized homophobia as one of its pillars, because it uses that homophobic central idea to guide its own philosophies on same-sex activity. Thus, the movement and label that’s supposed to boost self-esteem actually undermines it.

It’s here that we consider the especially tragic effects of the dichotomy, as told in personal accounts.

The Effects of The Dichotomy As Told In Personal Stories

Besides giving one’s thoughts on the topic at hand, some users gave stories about their own lives, as it relates to the discussion. As it turns out, the effects of the dichotomy are found even there.

One comes from user “mick01”, who gives a short but disheartening account. He says that he regularly fellates one of his older friends. However, the friend never reciprocates. Because of that inequality, the user sometimes feels guilty about doing such. However, he says that it’s hard to say no, apparently because he enjoys it too much.

This is what makes the situation so sad: it’s quite obvious that the older friend enjoys it too. He wouldn’t ask regularly for fellatio if he didn’t find pleasure in it. He must also realize that it’s a guy who is fellating him. However, he won’t allow himself to reciprocate and give his friend the same pleasure. This might be for several reasons, but in my opinion, a prime one probably relates to the dichotomy. It’s quite possible that the older friend identifies as “straight”, even if he engages in same-sex activity. If he reciprocates, he might reason that it’ll be harder to retain his “straight” status, and the social “freedom of movement” it allows. Thus, even if he enjoys being fellated and wants to do more, he must restrain himself from doing so. Thus, the tragedy and absurdity of the dichotomy is exposed once again.

This tragedy is compounded upon by another story, as told by user “Scott2002”. I will quote his account, since I can’t improve on it: “Last year in 8th grade I was developing a friendship with a guy in my class and I invited him to watch a big game at my house and then sleep over. Once in bed, one thing led to another, then we both admitted we had boners and showed them to each other, we touched each other's boners, and then we jerked ourselves off together and watched each other cum. The next morning he seemed really awkward and hardly even wanted to talk to me. After that, in school he avoided me and would barely even say hi. So, doing this together totally destroyed a budding friendship for me.”

It’s hard to describe how sad I was when I first read that. It really sounds like the user really liked his friend, and still likes him to this day. Once again, there’s a range of reasons as to why the friend distanced himself. Perhaps their activities conflicted with his friend’s religious beliefs, and the messages he was getting from his church. Perhaps he recognized that his activities could have him marked as “gay”, which evokes images he might not like, and stigmas he doesn’t want. As a result, he distanced himself from his friend completely, whose presence constantly reminded him about what happened that night.

We’ll probably never know the exact reason. All that we know is that the dichotomy has something to do with it, and one more friendship is destroyed. Within that dichotomy, activities that would otherwise make a friendship closer do the exact opposite. This is because the dichotomy doesn’t encourage intimacy, but instead encourages isolation and separation.

Conclusion

It has become clear that the tentacles of the dichotomy stretch everywhere. You have just seen how the dichotomy shapes thinking and perceptions concerning same-sex activity. You’ve also just seen the emotional turmoil that the dichotomy can generate in people’s lives.

Thus, with all the current discussion about adolescence being difficult, I think our society makes it much more difficult than it should. That’s the only way that something natural and normal - general same-sex activity - can be the source of so much confusion, angst, and heartbreak.

If you’re a teenager or young adult reading this, I stress to you that you are reading the agonies and turbulence of your generation. Your friends. Your neighbors. Your classmates. This might even be you.

My question to you is this: Are you okay with letting this continue? Is this any way to live?

The truth is the dichotomy, and its associated ideas, only has so much power because people submit themselves to it. It has no power if it can’t get it from the people.

Because of this, I urge you to read “The ‘Straight’-’Gay’ Dichotomy: How It Works”, to fully understand how that system functions. I also urge any who read this to go to “For Straight People (though not exclusively)”, which will point to philosophies and forms of same-sex behavior that don’t hinge on demonstratively false concepts. Don’t be afraid of talking about what you learn to others, because that’s the only way progress will be made.

The dichotomy is socially constructed, and thus can be socially deconstructed. With education, you can help to hasten its deconstruction, and we all will be better for it.