if there's one thing this last episode has affirmed for me about Alastor it's that he FUCKING HATES being reminded that he's not the most powerful creature in hell.

Like, he hates being ignored by Carmilla when she says she doesn't care why he was gone

He hates Lucifer ON SIGHT

He threatens to KILL Husk when he dares to mention that Alastor is working for someone more powerful than him

and now this.

Alastor freaking out because he almost died. Something almost killed him. He can fucking die. There is something more powerful than him out there. And it's not something he can ignore or brush off because it almost killed him.

Alastor hates the reminder that he's not as powerful as he tells people he is. He isn't indestructible, he isn't invincible. And he fucking hates that.

(hi there! sorry if this is disrespectful or anything, feel free to delete this ask! i was just concerned because in the comments of jimmy's recent videos, it seems that he might make a video reacting to fanfictions...

very concerning! especially because it seems like he didn't contact the creators of the edits in newest video beforehand. no offense to him, but i genuinely do not trust him to handle fanfiction in a respectful way. he's very hard-working, but he's getting dangerously content-brained!

anyways, the reason i'm sending this ask to you is because you seem to frequent his streams a lot. VERY sorry if this is disrespectful to ask, but if you do attend his next stream, is it ok to ask that you try and send a message in his chat? i would myself, but he streams after midnight where i live T^T i really hope that someone well-versed in the rules of fandom spaces (maybe scott (ｰ ｰ;) ) can talk him out of it, but i would be very grateful if any chatters could discourage him during his next live.

thank you very much for reading!!)

-a shy chinese anon who experienced the banning of ao3 in china because fans of a celebrity mass-reported an rpf fic to the government :<

(Hey shy anon, I didn't show up until a little after the ban, but I was on the english side of that fandom so i know a lot. my eternal condolences, I'll never stop being upset about what happened!)

It is not at all disrespectful to ask politely, which you have! I am not going to send a message in his chat because it is an absolute hellhole, but people I know have left thoughtful comments on his youtube, which I think is 20x more useful. He sees those in his own time and can think about it. Chat is running nonstop, super fast, you get instant reaction in the chat from all kinds of sorts - seriously i love jimmy and i have nothing against younger people, but holy hell that chat is mostly intolerable to read. Most streams I don't even have it visible. Jimmy has very little time to think in response to chat messages, it can't be nuanced, and the first thing he says is now public record.

Overall, I don't think Jimmy will react to fanfic. If he does (and I've been wrong predicting Jimmy before!), it's going to be something like Wholesome Seablings Adventures. I can not imagine Jimmy reading ship fic - unless I guess it's incredibly pg canon-ship? There's all kinds of "pg youtubers", and Jimmy's more on the Katherine side of thing, appealing to families and genuinely little kids. If you look at the saucy things he lets in, you generally need some real non-pg context for it to feel non-pg. (there's always exceptions)

When people demand he address shipping he tries to say as little as possible. He's been shown nsfw fanart while he was streaming. He knows what is going on and he's not going to touch that. He's thoughtful when it counts, and since these aren't stream reacts, he has time to think hard about what he's actually going to use. So if he did do fanfic, there would be plenty of never seen footage of Jimmy of going "holy moly!" and moving on. When it matters, he is generally thoughtful and respectful.

Like the time he realized he was confused about asexuality (he didn't know about aromanticism) and slowed down to be really careful he didn't say anything accidentally hurtful. (for context shelby is ace but dates and he knows that. look at his poor little face trying to understand.)

Maybe he'll mess up this time, I sure hope not, but I'm not personally freaking out.

Also, exactly one time he opened tumblr on stream, it was the sexyman poll, and he read my reply to the post (i'm the one who called him a wet paper bag of a man, my claim to fame.) I showed up to apologize, he was a sweetheart, and he said this about tumblr, that he knows we want our own private space. He's respectful at heart.

I am not on tiktok, but until your ask, I'll admit it never occurred to me he might contact the creators before reacting. Thinking on it, I guess I think of TikTok like youtube, where it is loudly tossed out at the whole world for attention, but I'm not on TikTok.

And why do I think ao3 is different? Well, I have no coherent answer besides "vibes" and "more contained audience" and "everyone knows everyone is on youtube and tiktok".

Here are some more Jimmy clips I've wanted to share on tumblr for one reason or another.

In the end, I have been hyperfixating on this man for sixteen months and I believe it'll be okay. If I'm wrong, well. We'll make it through this, gang. We'll take care of each other and keep going. Nothing's stopped us yet!

If you want to say something to Jimmy, leave a yt comment, don't go into his stream, please, not there, you'll just provoke people and he might have to respond to that, please

Everyone out there who read ao3 not logged in - go log in, people are locking things.

People on ao3, lock or don't lock, as you see fit!

(also joel lizzie and oli did fanfic readings/reenactments/whatever years ago, including writing their own snippets, i got through like 90 seconds of one, youtube at your own risk.)

How did the post breakdown situation of Adrian living with Fenris (iirc) start? who’s. Idea was that. deeply traumatized roomies I’m dying to know more (if you’re comfy w it) -mabari-enthusiast

So the first thing you need to know is that Adrian moving out of the Estate was a very sudden thing and not really like, planned. He stormed out of the house while him & Leandra were arguing (again) (it was bad this time) (Adrian felt like he Had To Get Out Of Here Immediately or else he was going to snap for real) and then realized he was not emotionally capable of going back so he just... didn't.

And on the night he stormed out he happened to bump into Fenris, who was on his way back home from a job. They made some extremely awkward "hi, how are you" conversation (Adrian was visibly distressed and hiding it very poorly) (also they weren't really friends at this point they just sort of knew each other. And Fenris hadn't seen him since before he left for the Deep Roads & still had siblings so it's. Y'know.), which becomes "where are you off to this time of night?" -> Adrian realizes he hasn't thought about it -> "are you okay?" -> I've been better -> "it's not really my business, Hawke, but I think it's a really bad idea for you to be walking around aimlessly, clearly upset, unarmed, in the middle of the night" -> yeah I agree -> "maybe you should go home?" -> Can't -> "okay well that's none of my business. Do you want to come in for a little bit so you can collect yourself?" -> yeah but it won't be for very long I promise. I don't want to put you out. 20 minutes, tops.

Adrian immediately fell asleep on his couch and slept for 10 hours straight. And then after he finally woke up he tried to apologize by cleaning up a little before getting really worried that Fenris would take him doing that as an (*cough* admittedly deserved) criticism of his living space and then freaked himself out and left. It was a deeply mortifying experience for him, but for Fenris it was just kind of a weird thing that happened.

Adrian spent the next couple of weeks like, couch surfing basically. Mostly alternating between crashing at Varric's place and the clinic, but also a couple of night's at Elegant's and a few individual nights on Fenris' couch again, on purpose and prearranged this time because now that Adrian's spending all this time at the Hanged Man they bump into each other a lot more often and Adrian keeps paying for his drinks because he's still embarrassed and wants to apologize. Fenris does think this is weird but he also isn't going to stop him.

Anyways. They kind of hang out now.

Eventually Adrian is like "okay, I can't keep living like this." And he is tentatively working things out with Leandra at this point but also knows that things will just start to deteriorate again if he goes back to living with her rn, so moving back to the Estate is not an option. He feels weird taking advantage of Varric's hospitality any more than he already has (and Varric would never let him pay rent so he would feel bad about it the whole time), Anders isn't an option because again, he would feel bad & weird about it, also they would kill each other. Elegant would absolutely let him rent one of her spare rooms but she lives in kind of an odd out-of-the-way part of Hightown so ye olde commute would suck + there's some other personal baggage in there, so it's not really ideal but he also doesn't know very many people and the other rental opportunities in Hightown are generally kind of, sketch, so it might be his only option.

"Yeah Red, that's rough. Too bad we don't know anyone who lives in a huge mansion all alone, conveniently close to your mother, who you already get along with, and could definitely benefit from a consistent couple of silvers every month but won't take charity. That would just solve all your problems at once." <- quote from Varric Tethras

He has to say that like three times before Adrian completely independently comes up with the idea to ask Fenris if he can rent one of his rooms. An arrangement that Fenris was already primed to be receptive to because Isabela said to him something along the lines of "yeah honestly what would probably improve your situation the most would be a consistent passive income of some sort. It's too bad we don't know any functionally homeless new money guys who come with the added bonus of being someone who cleans when they are upset and is in the middle of a breakdown of some sort so is therefore cleaning all of the time (you live in a hovel btw)"

"The living room is looking nice lately" <- quote from Fenris

(I can neither confirm nor deny whether Varric & Isabela were in cahoots on this. They may or may not have coordinated offscreen. Impossible to say)

So that's how that happened, basically.

what are your thoughts on loop and siffrin’s hangout in the tree? it always seemed excessively cruel imo, just to prove that sif dying wasn’t the only way to loop. i feel like there were other ways, so i guess i can’t understand completely understand why they would do it.

had loop not pointed out the party dying or had the party managed to beat the king w/o sif, do you think sif would have still looped? Or at the very least managed to make it to the next day?

Anon. are you my loop. afheiohfe LMFAO I'm just. amused by the question because yeah tbh I don't really like the Loop hangout either. I get critical under the cut, so this is only getting a spoilers tag.

I think Siffrin was going to loop then. They probably would have realized what the flash was, or even just realized that the time of day means either the party's made it to the King or things have already ended badly for them, and now they're down a fighter. Siffrin does try to cling to hope at times so I can see him trying to persuade himself that Mirabelle would know the shield, she'd know to shield even if he didn't warn her right??? so maybe they didn't instantly die! but again, they're down a fighter. Even if they win the fight, surely they'd hate him for abandoning them in the final hour. I think he'd give himself a panic attack out of worry and guilt and shame and loop. Loop just hurried it up, probably because they were already hating themself (which, this sure makes it rich for them to try to point out to Siffrin later in act 5 that he's being an ass for saying mean things to the party LOL).

If you want my thoughts. This isn't in the ISAT tag because the hangout is one of the low points of the game for me. It was the "oh, we're just doing shock value now" bit of my first playthrough. I didn't think it made sense then just because how does the party get to the King anyway (even if they can still beat/avoid all the sadnesses without Siffrin and avoid the rock trap/find all the keys because they're like. being more cautious with them gone, they only have a 1/6 chance of correctly choosing the right path on both floors 2 & 3 unless Loop is actively guiding them. Which is an idea I've seen people uncomfortable with, but Loop is purposefully setting them up to die anyway????), and how does Siffrin not realize sooner "hey wait this is going too long what's going to happen to my friends" and panic over that sooner, and nothing in the rest of the game really changed my thoughts on that. Considering Isabeau is right in Loop's potential sight YEAH I FEEL LIKE THEY COULD HAVE COME UP WITH DIFFERENT WAYS OF PROVING IT.

Also iiirc, in my first playthrough I'd already done the Bonnie sidequest of them freaking out at Siffrin and making them loop by this time. I get that the Bonnie sidequest is optional but like. That sure doesn't help with making this hangout feel like cheap shock value.

I think. What I would have liked better. Is if maybe Loop had been trying to do something else and they accidentally established this. Example:

Loop tells Siffrin from the very start they can tell their friends about this and brings the matter up again at act 3 start. Even though it didn't free them from the loops it DID make that one loop better for them when their friends knew something was wrong (they didn't die horribly, for one), so I think they're thinking if Stardust lets everyone in on the full truth, and sooner, maybe they can help somehow!!! Maybe Odile can solve it!!!! 'Why are us two idiots trying to solve this alone!!!' Loop's thinking, and Loop just really, really wants to get out of the loops. So like. imagine a ISAT sus run being a little more similar to a SASASA sus run and Loop specifically baiting them to do that, maybe by suggesting that since they always loop when talking to the Head Housemaiden the loop ends at a certain TIME, this is TIME craft stardust, hurry it up and maybe you'll see something useful besides the roof hm???

What Loop is hoping for: Stardust gets the nice little bit of his family comforting him and getting them to open up a little, they get to hurt themself watching it through them, Stardust realizes 'hey I should talk to my friends' and actually starts telling them about the time loop at the start so they can all work through the information together, they just needed more brain cells on the problem so THEY FIGURE OUT THE GD TIME LOOPS AND LOOP GETS TO BE FREE.

What actually happens: *looks at how the sus run goes in ISAT* also since this is already altering what a sus run requires and how it turns out you could also have Mirabelle on edge and unintentionally taking it out on Siffrin, or Isabeau being horrified if Siffrin finally confesses about the time loops under pressure from Odile and Siffrin assumes Isabeau's disgusted about him hiding this (and not realizing like. Isabeau is actually horrified that his friend's been dying? and trying to handle that alone??? SIF), basically like just make it accidentally turn into a train wreck of a scene for a takeaway of "huh. Siffrin loops back from being upset, too." And then Siffrin is further convinced opening up = always bad and just gets more and more set in I AM NOT BLINDING TELLING THEM.

Trimax Thoughts Vol. 3 Pt. 1

Some more miscellaneous thoughts. I realized it's actually more convenient to do these before any analysis because. Well. I actually haven't read this manga before. Why was I trying to do full analyses before just letting myself read it. Why am I a dumbass.

Anyways.

It's the repression my dude

(Ok but can we talk about how Wolfwood doesn't really lie and his eyes convey his emotions whether he wants it or not and he still feels strongly because that attachment keeps him going and then how Vash has had to withdraw and shove everything into a box somewhere deep inside him because he always has to maintain a distance and always has to leave aughhh)

Ohhhhh that part where Vash is able to tell exactly how many strikes are incoming... I love how he becomes really precise and calculating in a fight. It's a really great way to show the severity of a situation and his skill and experience! (Bonus points: he does this in Tristamp too - I still cannot get over the way the animators chose to have him move right before he pulls out his gun in ep 1 - I went on an unhinged ramble about that. He's always fluid and grounded. I adore those animators they did a fantastic job.)

!!! I think this is the first time we've actually seen Knives' face since the Fifth Moon Incident! ...there's something to examine in this.

Feral Wolfwood <3

Yikes. If we wanted more emphasis on the way a lot of people around Vash do not stop to consider the severity of death. The violence is so typical in this world it's treated as a scene from which one can be detached. Vash's honest distress and compassion as entertainment :(

Hey. What the fuck.

The baby with the gun would be a lot funnier if I didn't know what Leonof had to do to people to make his puppets.

SICK AND TWISTED. WTF.

Ok say what you will though but Leonof so far has been the only one of the GHG that I think actually understands the assignment. Like. Yeah, this sure is the way to fucking break the guy. What the hell.

Oh, Vash knows him? Maybe that's why Leonof knows how to hurt him so well...?

AUGH he had puppet Doc, who vouched for Vash earlier to Brad, call him a demon!!! This also means he was killed! WTF

AUGHHHH wolfwood :(((

Meryl and Milly I love you so so much

Whjfhbdsjfbhv??? Girl??????

Vash: *starts blaming himself* Luida: "no." Vash: "oh, ok." :(

Hair down Vash <3

I really love the way we find out a bit more about Vash in this chapter. Him taking Meryl and Milly to a special place that helps him relax and heal and feel closer to Rem, even if he doesn't quite tell them that's what it is. Meryl knowing it's important somehow anyways and feeling like she can see him a little more clearly. Wolfwood freaked the hell out by the idea that Vash is immortal, but instead of leaving it at his assumptions, he still goes to talk to Luida and ask questions, who immediately proceeds to emphasize how lonely yet kind he is. We learn a lot about Vash in this chapter without him actually revealing anything about himself directly - all through other people, and the impact he's made on them. And I like how even though we find out more and more the differences between human and whatever Vash actually is, we circle right back around to confirming what we already knew about him from the beginning - he's fundamentally a kind man with a lot of pain in his heart who always makes the active choice to be nice. Just. Agh.

Wolfwood, running while carting his stupid IV pole over his shoulder: "oh fuck I need to protect women (and Vash)"

Softest look I've ever seen. What.

But ohhh does this make me happy. Because he's spent this volume thinking Vash has no survival instinct because he's immortal, etc., which terrifies him because he cannot understand not fighting to survive. Vash's smile makes a comeback here, but he now understands that it's not just a mask, it is the way he fights to survive. That smile is Vash's struggle to live in the same way the violent struggle is his, and Wolfwood I think/hope is starting to realize again that the gap is not so wide between them. He's calmed enough to remember that he actually likes this guy. Augh.

Finally had a Byler Dream™ (is that a rite of passage at this point?) and I woke myself up by being too excited to jump on tumblr and gloat about it before I even finished the episode... So in that spirit I'm going to share the dream with y'all because it was very intense. I've edited slightly for clarity bc dream logic, but don't take this as fanfiction or headcanon or anything cuz it does NOT actually make any canonical sense.

It started with some promotional material they had which we were trying to analyze. It was only in very blurry subtitles/some flash of Mike's internal landscape via the upside down that showed him being anxious abt his feelings towards Eddie for some reason, like showing he had a crush/need for approval from him. I managed to find some screencap that was more clear and seemed to be someone telling Mike something about taking pride in himself so I was like "oh that's 100% gay" and trying to post about it but it got removed because it was too much of a spoiler they'd accidentally released.

Then suddenly they had dropped the next episode of Stranger Things, out of the blue basically. I was watching it with a group of people and I'm pretty sure there was more than just the Byler but tbh that was the only part my brain tuned in on.

It went like this- Mike was paired off with Steve and Robin, and they had all gone to this strange facility to find something but were now stuck in the upside down. They had figured out that very intense emotions could re-open gates to escape the Upside Down, so they were sitting together trying to come up with memories they had that could help them. They went around, with Robin/Steve not being able to think of something quite strong enough even though they had some intense stuff. When it got to Mike, he said something about his feelings for a girl (for some reason it wasn't El, just a petty crush). Robin suddenly goes "come on, you're going to pull that straight romance shit here?". Mike is confused, Robin asks Steve to back her up but he sort of chimes in like "C'mon, I don't want to do that like this." Robin goes ahead anyways, and says "yeah, I bet all we'd have to do is to get you to read out your diary and the portal would start opening, there's gotta be some intense emotions in there all about Will". She's slightly mocking, she's pissed about being stuck in the UD/doesn't feel positively about Mike. Mike is still insistent he doesn't know what she's talking about although he's starting to get uncomfortable. Robin says that it's fairly obvious, finally gets Steve to back her up so he chimes in like "as a kind of surrogate big brother to all you kids, I've had to see the relationship between you two over the years... At first maybe it was just friendship, and maybe you could brush it off as Will feeling a certain way, but I've also seen you", and then it starts showing this montage thing of Mike/Will. It also does show Mike having a crush on Eddie to show it isn't just coming from Will. He goes on "it's your choice if you want to make it platonic, but you've been doing this to this poor boy for years, I hoped you knew what you were doing because I don't want to see Will get hurt". (He's taking on the role of Jonathan a bit here as well as Eddie in a way, apparently my brain can't tell the difference between brotherly older dudes with long hair). Mike is starting to realize now, freaking out, a sort of wind picks up around them/electricity is crackling and shit. He did know about his feelings, but he's freaking out about the idea of them being obvious to others and at the thought of confronting them, especially of telling Will.

Robin comes in a little more gently, maybe regretting how she had acted, saying something like "I know it's scary but you can't just keep running from it. You're the only one who can do this, you have to take some pride in yourself" (or something a little more heartfelt probably). Mike still pushes them both away, he's sort of sobbing at this point, and finally cracks start forming and a portal tears open. They manage to all get through the portal, back into the regular world, and somehow meet back up with the rest of the group. They're being questioned on what happened, but Steve and Robin only give the barebones of what they were doing and how they got out. Mike is still basically shellshocked by the whole situation, like still shaking, but trying to hide his tears and shit. He still hasn't met back up with Will.

I think either the episode ended there or I just paused cuz I was freaking out a little bit, but I pulled out my phone to check Tumblr and basically go "WE'RE FUCKING WINNING Y'ALL" and suddenly my brain went, "it's weird how early they released this" and then I was forcefully woken up. I was so excited though y'all I was fully sobbing too because in my brain it was being done very masterfully. In reality there's... Some flaws with the execution, but I'm glad I know now what it feels like to Win. Manifesting my dreams are at least mildly prophetic dkdkdj

okay okay, march, i've had ideas tumbling in my head and i *doubt* i'm the first but it's been at least a couple months and my thoughts have been going and anyway--

imagine you've been kidnapped by the hatter, not just you, there's others too, and you've been kidnapped together in order for jervis to work out an idea he had where if he were to have a wonderland cast of the major characters sitting together at a tea party, where would it go. and obviously he's ignoring or doesn't think about the likelihood of it not working anyway because you know, these people were *kidnapped* and likely won't go with it (especially if most of these people haven't even read or watched a media to do with AiW) but that's beside the point-

anyway, jervis is getting frustrated because the idea can't even commence because people are freaking out or cursing him out or crying because great, they're dealing with the hatter, and near the opposite end of the table is you, startled and unsure what to do, because the last thing you remembered is painting something for a client at the park, and messing up by painting with the wrong colour- and now you're here. here, with the hatter, and a bunch of random hostages, and not at the park with your painting supplies and easle and everything you had-

next thing you know, while the hatter is resigning to the idea being a failure, you quip up that you can't be here, you have work, and- because you're one of the few to have actually read the books- someone will have your head. now, this catches the hatter's attention, partly because of your outburst among the others, but also because you're the only one who's said something even remotely Wonderland-esc. and his attention is captured, obviously, and he shushes everyone before turning his attention to you again, asking you to repeat what you just said.

"someone will have my head..?" you repeat as told, before going on. "i've to finish my work. painting, i have to paint- the, uh.. the queen will have my head if i don't finish. and i painted the wrong colour, you know what she'd do if she saw."

(i'm writing this with arkham jervis in mind where, despite his lucidity, he's still in his delusions half the time)

so obviously he *does* know what she'd do, and bada-bing-bada-boom, they're let go so they don't have their head off, and lafbdlinicubqwub yeah that's all i got but you know-- the hatter knows those playing cards have a tough job cut out for them

Okay but consider

instead of leaving right away, this knowledge of Wonderland gives you a valuable resource. It wouldn't be easy of course, but if you can assign the right characters and come up with a reasonable excuse, you could talk your way through the situation and help at least a few other people.

"Hang on... Oh no, no, no!" you might say, rushing over to one of the crying captives. "The poor mock turtle can't be seen at a big party like this. What if someone tries to make him into soup? Ah! And the White Rabbit!"

You hurry to the other side of the table to another of the hostages. This one looks quite agitated. "He's going to be late! We can't have him keeping the Queen waiting, now can we?"

Of course you'd need to be careful. The first few excuses are reasonable enough, maybe, but Jervis isn't stupid. Eventually, he's going to realize something's up and he's going to start questioning you if you push it. So for each person you help, you're making the situation all the more precarious for yourself. In fact, you're endangering yourself because once he realizes he's being lied to, he's going to be pissed.

Of course you could always diffuse the situation by offering yourself back into captivity for the release of the others, but now you're back at square one.

But hey. At least you know how to talk to him. So maybe you'll get through this okay. Just don't try to outright lie and manipulate him again. He won't be so forgiving a second time.

So, I've seen many tiktoks about how Dazai no longer has the same vibes as he used to (Ever since Chapter 101 was uploaded) But you know, I don't think that's true. If you really try to see it, then you'll realize, that Dazai has always had this manipulative traitorous (I'm pretty sure that's not how you spell that word) side to him. In the very first episode, he showed absolutely no empathy to Atsushi, even though he played around and saved him before, seemingly out of empathy/pitty.

In the second episode he manipulates Atsushi into agreeing to joind the Ada, because he would not be welcome or acceptet anywhere else, instead of telling him, they were gonna accept him and teach him what he needed to know.

In episode 5 he conveniently shows up at the crime scene, 'by accident', causes Ranpo to get the job, gives just the right hints about the port mafia and later on explains the entire crime, as if he hadn't figured it out the minute he had gotten there to Atsushi and explains to him how Ranpo is infact not gifted, because he had risked the entire job and reputation Ranpo had had, simply to figure something out he had known since he first joined (entrance exam novel).

In episode 6 he sends a message to the agency claiming to be a the Azure messanger and threatens the agency with the bomb, instead of just telling them, that it was that way

In episode 7 he conveniently gets Rokuzo to read the email he sent to the azure messanger and gets two people killed without gicing a second shit about it, while Kunikida is pretty much freaking out about it.

Then he lets himself get kidnapped by a fourteen year old girl with an ability, as if it wouldn't have been the as if they had called him asked him to come, because he wants to find out who placed the bounty, along the way he conveniently threatens the entire mafia.

Then dark era, that speeks for itself. Though I have a hard time believing Dazai followed Odas advice, because he thought of him as a friend. I think Dazai thought he might learn the meaning of existing, if he kept following Oda around, because he had such strong ideals. I think, that's the reason he initinally left the pm, because he thought, maybe following the advice would get him a reason to live. (Or he really thought of Odasaku as friend, but after his death and Angos betrayal, he realized, there was no reason in trusting and getting attach, if everything would be ripped away eventually anyways, since it had happened to him countless times before, so he decided to leave all his attachements behind, that might just be more likely)

Him dissapearing, while the whole armed detective agency is fighting against the guild and conveniently showing up to save the day.

Slapping Atsushi, manipulating Kyouka into joining, the conversation with Mori (how he didn't just somewhere along the way spill one of the main reasons Mori was keeping him alive and threatened the port mafia boss), how he and Chuuya fought against the guild, the nurse after he got shot.

I could drag this list on for probably 10.000 more words, but what I'm trying to say is. From the very beginning, Dazais morals were different, than those from the rest, even the port mafia had more sane morals than Dazai did. So, whether Chuuya and Fyodor really will be dead in the next Chapter or not, he does believe he's drowining them, no rather, he is taking the risk, that they drown, because it is a possible way to kill them.

On today's episode of I Work In A Comic Shop, I'm crying just a little bit.

I'm setting up for my weekly kids' game of D&D - the last one for a while, before I go to college. I'd mentioned this to everyone last week, mostly to give them the heads-up that they'd have a different DM soon.

And they surprised me with good-bye presents.

One boy, we'll call him X, came in with both his parents. He was the 8-year-old who last week made me realize that Big Hero 6 is somehow not a new movie anymore. He's also our party's goblin druid, who can wild shape into a giant frost salamander (with crocodile stats other than size. He wanted to be able to use his super-badass mini he'd been painting. We found a way :3). They all come in, and he's getting settled while I'm grabbing stools and finishing setting up the table, and X says "We brought you a present."

And he gently slides across the table to me, a little lizard mini. It's hand-painted, has some turf around its feet (including a skull - this kid loves skulls and gore and I'm honored that he gave me a skull too) and is on a base maybe the size of a nickel. He then proceeds to tell me all about how he painted it, how he used tweezers to set the itty-bitty rocks into place. And his parents explain that he looks forward to these games every weekend. Me too kiddo. Me too. 🥹

Fast-forward to the end of the adventure. The day has been saved, rewards have been granted, and we're starting to tidy up. And this girl (we'll call her Y) and her dad (he'll be Z), who've been at almost every one of my games for the past two months, slide an envelope over to me.

It's a lovely Robin's-egg blue, and it has my name written on the back. The handwriting is definitely Y's, a little messy in that kid way but extremely sweet. My name is even spelled correctly. (I have an extremely uncommon name and most people forget how to spell it, including some of my coworkers and occasional my friends. To be clear, I don't mind in the least if it's misspelled - but seeing that they took the extra second to get it right really does strike me as extra sweet.) And inside is a very sweet message, signed by the both of them. (Also, some cash. They really didn't have to- 😭💜).

So I'm gonna talk about Y for a minute. The first day she and Z came in was Father's Day, with a bit of an unusual request. Normally, parents leave their kids alone to play and then pick them up a few hours later. Z explained that Y is autistic, and gets really bad social anxiety on her own, especially alone. (Honestly? Not sure if was neurodivergence [I've never been tested], but I was just as freaked out by strangers and loud other kids at her age. I understood.) So Z asked if it would be okay for him to hang out, and kind of be her spokesperson so it was less scary. I was fine with this, and so was the other dad and his son who showed up later that day. Again, it was Father's Day, so the dads actually joined in on the game. Y and Z came back pretty much every week after that. And every time, Y got a little less shy and a little more comfortable. The last few weeks, I've seen her laughing and joking and coming up with crazy schemes with the other kids, even at a full table of 5 or 6 others. I've been so excited every time I see her laugh, because I know that a couple months ago, she wouldn't have.

Anyways. I'm gonna miss the crap out of these kids.

Do you have any darker romances or erotic romances to recommend?

So at this point in time, I wouldn't say I read a fuckton of truly "dark romance" (the subgenre) just because a lot of it is contemporary and I read historical romance primarily. I will say that I've seen several romance commentators make the point that a lot of dark romance readers like historical because there tends to be more room for wilder plots, "everyday darkness", dubcon, etc, and I think that does like... fit. Because idk, I don't have a lot of time for super fluffy romances in general--I need drama. It can be funny, but funny with DRAMA.

Buuut a of the truly erotic romances and dark romances are gonna lean more contemporary at this time. For true blue erotic romance I'd recommend:

Priest by Sierra Simone--It's a Catholic priest romance, and it is very hot and honestly pretty dark in terms of the leads' backstories and the hero's struggles with faith. Basically, this woman starts going to confession and turning him on with all her dirty secrets, and then they fall legit in love. It's by no means.... an inspirational romance... But he does legitimately believe in God and is struggling with the fact that he's been called (to his thinking) but also wants to fuck this woman really, really bad. There may or may not be fucking on the altar. There may or may not be a "just the tip" scene which, honestly, makes no sense as any penetration is penetration but okay. There is definitely holy oil used as lube for anal. So. 10/10. There is a TW for pedophilia in the Church being discussed as backstory, but it did not happen to the hero--rather, to someone he was close to.

Desperate Measures by Katee Robert--Katee Robert writes pretty hot romances, though some are definitely more erotic than others, and this is my favorite. It's a Jafar/Jasmine modern take (literally, they are named Jafar and Jasmine) but Jafar has just killed Jasmine's father (a crime boss) to take his territory (and Jasmine) from him. The book begins with a scene that is very much noncon, though she like... does want it against her will. Anyway, pretty dark, but I super enjoyed it. Every book in this series is basically modern Disney villain smut. Megara eats Jasmine out in this. It's great.

The Chasing of Eleanor Vane by Sierra Simone--Part of the Duke I'd Like to F... anthology, a novella about a woman betrothed to this loser when she really just wants to get railed by his guardian/uncle. Who is like, totally down for it. She's running off to escape the wedding, and he does indeed chase her. Bi hero and bi heroine!

My Dirty Duke by Joanna Shupe--Same as above, part of the DILF anthology. The heroine is 18-20 and is in love with her father's best friend, this rakish widower duke. She catches him during an assignation and is like "please fuck me" and he's all "nope" and then she's all "please fuck me while taking naked pictures of me with your Victorian camera because that's your kink" and he's all ".... maybe". Not for people who are squeamish about age gaps, obviously; if you're not, then it is preeeeetty hot. The scene where her dad realizes his best friend has been fucking his daughter all over the place is worth the price of admission.

An Education in Pleasure by Eva Leigh--See above, DILF anthology. The heroine is a governess, and the new duke of the estate is a good bit younger than her and eager to be taught how to please a woman. She does indeed teach him, and it's a lot.

Duke for Hire by Nicola Davidson--See above. The heroine is 30ish and a virginal daughter of a clergyman, and she basically hits up a duke to hire him to Teach Her the Ways of the Secular Flesh. Includes the usage of old timey sex toys, plus an elderly lesbian couple who helps facilitate her getting her freak on. I loved them elderly lesbians... so much.

Both the DILF and RILF anthologies have novellas by Adriana Herrera as well, and while they're very good and hot they're not quite as hot as the other ones, which is why I'm leaving them out. Still read them!

The Last Crimes of Peregrine Hind by Sierra Simone--Part of the Rake I'd Like to F... anthology. Basically, a highwayman kidnaps a notorious rake and dandy for revenge, but the rake likes getting tied up and fucked, so it doesn't work out quite as planned. M/m, obviously.

Two Rakes for Mrs. Sparkwell by Eva Leigh--RILF anthology. A widow encounters a couple of of gentlemen (a rake and his best friend who's, like, a bareknuckle fighter) who like to fuck women together. She falls in love with both of them, and them with her, but what will society say??? Mfm, the swords don't cross. But like. They're good buddies who love to share. It's not a love triangle.

A Rake, His Patron, and Their Muse by Nicola Davidson--RILF anthology. A rake playwright loses inspiration and runs off with his patron to visit a boarding house, where they meet a widow who falls into bed with them. The three then proceed to have a ton of threesomes and fall in love with each other. But again, what of society? This is mmf, swords cross, both heroes are bi and they all love one another.

Sold to the Duke by Joanna Shupe--Haha bro. Hahaha. The heroine is left destitute after her brother dies, and in order to save herself and her sister she auctions her virginity. Her brother's best friend happens to be there, and he saves her by buying her virginity, but she is determine to go through with her end of the bargain despite him insisting that she doesn't have to. Very hot.

Morning Glory Milking Farm by C.M. Nascosta--If you like monsterfucking and also a bit of sweetness (almost too sweet for me, but it's still... hot? I've spent months coming to terms with my feelings on it) then this is it. The heroine lives in a world where monsters and humans all get along and live around each other, and minotaur semen is like, the key to the ultimate boner pills, basically. So minotaurs go to milking farms for extra cash, where they get jacked off until they fill those like... 32-64 ounce bottles, and go on their way. The heroine becomes a milker in order to pay off her student loans (so real) and falls in love with a business daddy client. There's a lot of semen in this. He's a full minotaur. Idk what else to tell you.

Run, Run Rabbit by C.M. Nascosta--Currently reading this. I'm told it's HFN versus HEA, which I'm fine with, but heads up. Set in the same world as above, it's about two werewolves who are trial lawyers working at the same firm, and they kinda hate each other but also keep meeting up every month around the full moon so that they can fuck the shit out of each other. The relationship is kind of toxic in a hot way. It's open. There's knotting. But like. If you are... interested in people fucking during lupercalia.... Then.... sure....

Jinx is the most Important character in ARCANE

🔴SPOILERS FOR ARCANE!!🔴

OK so recently I was thinking about an AU for "What if Powder became a Firelight" and as I was brainstorming, I came to a realization; SO MUCH WOULD CHANGE! And with that realization came another realization... It's the title. But anyways, let me start this off with a meme.

Love her or hate her, you know this is true!

There are two types of ARCANE fans. Those who love Jinx as Silco does, and those who wish to see her disintigrate in a pool of acid. Lets Analyze the latter for a second. People hate Jinx because she does a lot of things that really screw everything up, inadvertantly making her a less likeable character.

Fair.

I don't hate her, but lets not dwell on that too much. Instead, lets try and analyze some of the terrible things she does.

The House Robbery:

Within the first episode, Powder, Vi, Milo and Claggor all raid Jayce's house. They each find something to put in the bag, and among all of that, Powder goes into Jayce's personal study (or workshop, whatever it's called) and she finds the Hex-gems. The result from that is Powder dropping one of the Hex-gems, blowing up much of Jayce's home, and then a chase ensues.

Now here's what would have happened if Powder didn't take any of the Hex-gems: Jayce was already knocking at their door, so even if the kids got away in time not to be spotted by Jayce, they would still have to finesse their way off his balcony, in time not to be spotted by the Enforcers. Plus, they busted open the door to Jayce's balcony, so he could have noticed and spotted them anyway. And all of this isn't even to mention Jayce could have reported them anyway. But fine, lets say that Powder's one choice didn't derail everything... what then? The kids may have gone back to the Undercity, made a buck off of their findings and then...

Do you think that would make a more interesting story? If the kids just got away with stealing Jayce's stuff and then everything continues the way it was supposed to? Because that's just what would have happened. Every important story beat after that happens because of that one choice that Powder made. Keep that in mind as we continue to through this.

The Monkey Bomb Incident:

Hey remember how traumatizing it was for EVERYONE INVOLVED when Powder tried to help everyone by killing them? Good times. But I've actually thought about this one, and there's a good chance that what actually happened really was best case scenario. You might remember a Shimmer-juiced Deckard was litterally knocking at the door of Powder's family. So yes, Mylo was able to free Vander, Claggor made a hole in the wall for everyone to escape out of... but how long would they really last? I mean, Deckard on shimmer was fast enough to kill two people without even being seen. The way I see it, they would have gone through all of that effort just to get bodied by a kid on steroids.

And where would that leave Powder? Alone at the last drop, unbeknownst to her that her entire family was just killed, with no one to look after her... exept maybe Ekko could have found her, and then she could join him as oNE OF THE FIRELIGHTS OHMYGOSH-

Nah, but you know what DID happen because of what Powder did? ALMOST everyone died! But hey, Vi is still alive so she can punch her sister in the face and leave her for dead!

...my appologies. Anyways, Becaue of what DID happen, Silco was able to find Powder and take her in so she could eventually become Jinx, and Vi is still alive so she can partake in the story.

The Zeplin Mishap:

One of the more minor ones, but in Episode 4 Jinx freaks out after seeing a Firelight girl that looks like her sister. What happens after that is the firelights successfully burining most of the shimmer, and Jinx freaks out and starts shooting everyone. Now what if that one thing didn't happen? Well, Silco and his buisness wouldn't have been subject to setbacks, and more importantly, the show couldn't really continue. Becaue of Jinx's freak out, Caitlyn was able to deduce what happened, and even figured out that one of Silco's henchmen recived friendly fire from Jinx, so he had reason to talk. That leads to Caitlyn going to stillwater prison to try and talk to him, but instead she meets her future girlfriend Vi!

NONE of that would have happened if Jinx had kept it togeather during that scene. And frankly, I think that's asking a bit much of someone who has that much Trauma.

Alright, this is getting long enough:

There are a LOT more moments I could take from to make my point, but we would be here all year, and probably miss the entire second season if I noted every single thing Jinx did. So my point is this: Jinx may have done some crappy things, but if not for those things we relly wouldn't have much of a story. ARCANE would not exist (at least as it does now) if not for the character Jinx was written to be. So that's why I think Jinx is the most important character in ARCANE, all because she made the choice when she was young, to steal some pretty gems from a young scientist...

Hey, it’s the anon from yesterday with the long, depressing ask. Decided to come off anon since I realized no one here knows me anyway lol. First of all, thank you so much for answering, it meant a lot to me and you made me feel a little better, though I’m still iffy about all of this, I can’t help it. The timing is just so weird to me. I really don’t wanna sound greedy but they could’ve done one last tour (since they apparently missed performing so much anyway?) and then get out with a Big Bang but this… There has to be something going on behind the scenes that they aren’t telling. I’m sure it is because Jimin said something similar in the Festa video, no? Ugh I just hate it when I have a feeling abt something but can't seem to find out what it is because I'm constantly imagining strange scenarios in my head that trigger my anxiety -- I love being me ✌🏼

Also, I just woke up, did I miss something or what makes you think this break will last for five years? That's such a long time, I can't for the life of me imagine that this is going to work... and I know this is controversal but I don't think their solo careers will be that successful in the long run.

Many fans (myself included) have become fans because they like the dynamic of the band itself, how they treat each other, how funny they are etc. I can't imagine bts without a single one of them and I love them all as a group, but not really on their own. I know this sounds bad and I swear I don't mean to offend anyone but I don't vibe with some of the members individually, though I do love them all together. Does that make sense? Again, I'm not trying to hate I'm just saying I won't force myself to like a members solo stuff, if I simply don't.

Hi! Nice to meet you! Don't be scared to come off anon! I think we're all invisible on this site. I barely have any followers, haha.

I get the timing being weird. I don't get it either. A lot of people were thinking they'd go on tour before Jin's probable enlistment, so I don't know why they didn't. I thought the LA, Seoul and LV concerts were only the beginning. But I guess a longer tour would've been exhausting and required a lot of planning. They said the PTD concerts were really tiring because they had no solos, but adding solo performances would've required a lot of practice, so that would've been challenging too? Maybe they had no time? I've no idea. It's weird. They were happy to finally perform, and I think they could've toured as seven for a little longer. Dunno...

What did Jimin hint at? Didn't he just mean that, in general, they couldn't be totally honest, which is why they are only now sharing all of this? That's how I understood it...

Maybe I should've explained myself better, sorry... I went on Reddit (always a big mistake, I hate that place), and someone posted that Armys were delusional for thinking BTS would comeback within two years. Since all the members might only enlist the year of their 30th birthday, it could be that the next group comeback will be after JK returns, and that would be more than five years from now. That's when I started to freak out, lol. Sorry! There was no announcement. This is all speculation, though it is rumored that next week we'll get news about their enlistment...

And I absolutely understand what you mean about their dynamic. I'll watch JK's solo vlives, but even as a huge JK stan, I find it a bit boring when he's not singing or when I don't really miss him. I've seen all his recent lives, but I missed a few ones back in 2020. I also love Jin and Suga the most after JK but couldn't find it in me to watch their solo vlives. Since I need to read subtitles and they're not super dynamic, I end up not watching them. Sometimes I can't commit to watching anything because I feel too drained... Right now I'm actually in the process of watching lives I missed, but I'm starting with the group lives and then my biases. I won't watch a lot of lives for sure. The thing with vlives is that if you watch them the day after they come out with subtitles, it's fun; but if you forget, then you miss your chance and never watch them haha. They keep piling up so it gives me anxiety.

Anyway, what I meant by the vlives is that the best ones are by far the OT7 ones, and then there are a few units I love, as well as my biases. My interest in watching a vlive depends on who's in it, and that's a good representation of what I feel for the group. I too love them as seven, but I'm not equally interested in them individually. I don't vibe with some of the members too. I love J-Hope, but he's also my least favorite member in many ways, though it pains me to say it. I'm usually only interested in him in BTS or when he interacts with the other members. I can't really connect with him solo, though I wish him the best and will listen to his album. But I know I won't follow his career too closely. I also love V and RM, but can't say I'll be super interested in what they do solo either.

I don't think you're being mean or offensive. That's just being human... Unlike them, we don't know them nor spend time with them. It's normal that we can't love them equally. It's a miracle that BTS do.

Thanks for the ask! I'm glad I made you feel even a tiny bit better. As you saw in my last post, I'm not doing super great either haha! Sending you a virtual hug!