We were supposed to actually get Rey and Poe but Rian Johnson forced Reylo in??!???

Don’t worry y’all, Twitter is still trying to convince everyone that TLJ was a good movie and SW fans are the problem 6 years later.

once again thinking about how absolutely unconscionable Rian Johnson's "both sides are bad!" subplot in TLJ is for a movie that features Neo-Nazi fascists who kidnap/brainwash children and blow up multiple planets and a movie that came out a) a year after Trump was elected and b) three months after the Charlottesville Unite the Right rally

i’ll forgive rian johnson for the last jedi when john boyega does

I want everyone who goes “hmmm but JJ set up nothing for Finn and put him in a coma at the end of the film so he never meant for Finn/John Boyega to be the lead” to understand:

First of all: No :)

Secondly: Hold onto this same energy for Rian Johnson regarding Rose Tico/Kelly Marie Tran

Because the Venn diagram that is people who claim JJ was the one who did Finn/John dirty and the people who claim Rian Johnson didn’t treat Rose Tico/Kelly dirty is a circle.

Rian only wrote Rose in because he thought “it’d be really boring” for Finn & Poe to go on an adventure together. He then erased a scene where Finn & Paige would’ve been together when Paige died, which could’ve given us a chance for Finn & Rose to actually bond over something but nope (Point 5 on the list).

Rian wrote Rose to ‘contrast’ with Finn (Point 8 in last link) but really just had her explain slavery and be part of a “war is bad” storyline for Finn? The same Finn who had been stolen as a baby and raised in a brainwashed boot camp to be a child soldier for an evil facist regime?

“Oh he gave her more screen time than in TROS.” He gave her ten minutes. Ten minutes out of a 2 and a half hour slog of a movie. Yes the difference of time is a bit drastic (ten minutes to almost 2) but it’s not that much when you put it against the actual length of the entire movie.

Overall, Rian also did Rose/Kelly dirty. Just like how he did with Finn/John. And I don’t trust people who only mentions her when talking negatively about anyone else (aka not Rian) involved in the making of Star Wars.

adam driver's interview about the kylo ren arc being a commentary on starting conflicted then choosing over and over to get compoundingly worse until you are a twisted, evil thing-

is directly reflective of my continuing cry that "if you were setting up a redemption arc you should not have had his like first or second onscreen act be ordering the slaughter of an entire village on jakku"

the commission of a fucking war crime should have signaled to everyone that this was not the romantic byronic hero/antihero of a redemption plot. i've ALWAYS said if you were going for a 'bendemption' then that critical as fuck moment HAD to be eliminated. if anakin killed the younglings before his greek tragic flaw corruption arc reached its zenith then the arc doesn't make linear sense. accordingly, if the corruption arc was intended for kylo i also would have saved the war crime until maybe end of the 8th episode to conclude it with a definitive setup that kylo chose ultimate and irredeemable evil, then he could be the big bad of the 9th episode.

let's all learn about the basic parts of a plot, disney:

"rising action" here should be escalatingly worse actions for a corruption arc, or if we don't start with war crimes, escalatingly redeeming actions for a redemption. but define your starting and ending points VERY clearly so the behavior falls within a range that makes sense for the intended arc.

anyway

Wow, really???

Sorry, let me amend that.

No Shit.

Star Wars VIII: Echoes of Chaos Part 1

I really like the idea of Abeloth being the main villain of Star Wars Sequel Trilogy so I decided to run with the concept.

After the Title Crawl that tells us the galaxy is currently in a state of total chaos and of a sickness called ‘Force Madness’ that only effects force sensitives, we see Leia and the Resistance under bombardment by remaining First Order bombers as they try to make sure everyone gets onto the evacuations ships to the Main Cruiser. We see Poe and the other Resistance fighters doing everything in their power to prevent the First Order from gaining more ground.

Eventually, after a space fight, all the Resistance members gather together to convene for a meeting where Leia tells them that with the death of Starkiller Base, the First Order’s power has been severely weakened but they still hold many planets in the Outer Rim and have made alliances with the Hutt Clans and the Black Sun and because of this they will need reinforcements in order to liberate these planets. Poe asks how can they do that if the New Republic is basically dead to which Leia replies that while many of the New Republic’s senators and representatives were dead there were thankfully a few who were off-world at the time including a few of her allies who have convened in the old Senate Building on Coruscant to discuss their next course of action. 

On the Resistance Mother Ship, Finn is hearing someone. A woman’s voice. His mother? Before he can truly think about the voice, Poe bursts into his hospital room with BB-8 and is ecstatic he’s alright and that he’s adjusting to the new robotic spine they put in. Robotic spine? Finn sees that yes he now has a robotic spine put into his back before asking Poe where Rey was.

Finally we get to Auch-To where we see Rey handing the lightsaber to Luke who gently grasps it. There’s an unreadable but sorrowful expression on his face as he stares at his father’s lightsaber before he simply shakes his head and let’s the weapon drop and walks away. Rey is confused by this and tries to follow Luke who shuts her out. Rey tries to ask Chewbacca why he’s like this but Chewbacca just shrugs. Chewbacca busts open the door to Luke’s hut where they see him on the ground holding his head with a painful expression on his face. Quickly, the Wookie goes to grab and hug him to try and provide some comfort to him. Luke, realizing who it is, happily hugs Chewbacca back and gives him his condolences about Han’s death before asking who she is. Rey responds with her name and tells him he was sent by his sister to bring him back and to begin her training in the force. Luke bluntly says that he can’t and that she’s better off breaking her connection to force in its entirety. This confuses Rey but Luke refuses to elaborate further before he leaves.

With the First Order we see Kylo Ren fighting and training against the other Knights of Ren as Snoke watches delighted by his aggression and anger. Snoke then tells him that he’s grown stronger by the hate he feels towards Rey defeating them in their last battle and that soon the time will come for the ultimate test of his abilities. Kylo Ren says nothing. Hux walks in and tells them that they have gotten intel that the Resistance is heading for Coruscant and they should cut them off before they’re able to regroup with their allies. Snoke agrees and Hux leaves to give the order. Snoke then turns to Kylo Ren and tells him that when the time comes he will be the one to end the life of his mother, General Organa. There’s some hesitance but Kylo Ren promises he will.

Speaking of General Organa, we finally see her again in her private chambers mourning the loss of her husband and cursing Anakin, her son, and herself for their failures when one of her attendants asks her to come to the bridge. They leave together where Leia is informed that there’s several incoming First Order ships heading there way along with Snoke’s flagship, Supremacy. Quickly, she starts ordering the pilots to their ships while she mans the bridge. Unfortunately, it’s not enough. The Resistance ends up losing after Leia calls everyone back to the Mother Ship. She orders Poe to take any survivors and continue to Coruscant while she sacrifices herself and the main ship. Poe begs her to reconsider but Leia won’t and instead she gives him a holodisk that is to be given to Senator Celchu of New Alderaan and no one else. He’s forced to leave her behind as he orders everyone to flee. Leia stays on the bridge awaiting the arrival of the First Order and lo and behold, it’s Kylo Ren and the Knights of Ren. Leia greets her former son with Kylo Ren, hate in her eyes asking if he’s come to kill her too and he says not yet. He then orders her capture and the Knights of Ren try to grab her but she simply ignores as she heads onto the Supremacy. 

Back on Auch-To, we see Rey trying to practice with the lightsaber however her technique is sloppy. Luke doing his daily routine tells her that if she continues like this, she’ll take an arm off and he should know. Rey says that she beat Kylo Ren and Luke says that she got lucky and that even in the past he was never good with a lightsaber since he preferred using the Force. Rey is confused by this for a minute and asks what Kylo Ren was like as Ben. Luke gets a sad far away look in his eyes before he simply walks away. Rey is even more confused. We cut to Luke walking into the Millennium Falcon where he summons a hologram of him, Han, Leia, and Ben but also of another woman and boy. They’re all younger and they actually look happy. We hear the distinctive beep of R2-D2, Luke turns around to see R2-D2 rolling over to him with a bunch of happy chirps and beeps and we see Luke smile at him as he bends down to give him a pat on his dome. The Skywalker tells him that’s he sorry he sent him away which R2 seems to acknowledge before he summons the hologram of his sister from all those years ago, Luke looks sad before looking away telling R2 that he can’t leave the planet no matter how much he wants to.

We regroup with the Resistance who made it to Coruscant where they are greeted by Senator Winter Celchu, a childhood friend of Leia’s and her eyes and ears after she was shamed for being the biological daughter of Darth Vader. Poe, remembering Leia’s words hands Winter the holodisk when Poe sees Finn start to become dazed as he begins to grasp his head. Poe calls out to him and Winter looks deeply concerned, like she’s seen something like this before. Finn finally snaps out of it before seeing their expressions and asks if everything is okay but they still look concern and Winter asks if Finn is force sensitive. This confuses Finn and he says no without hesitation. Winter doesn’t exactly look convinced but doesn’t elaborate any further and instead has the remaining group of Resistance members join on a transport she’s arranged to take them to the senate building.

At the Senate Building we see there’s only a handful of senators belonging to the New Republic left who are clearly shaken by the events that surrounded the destruction of the New Republic’s capital. Winter along with Poe and Finn comes to the stage and puts in the Holodisk from General Organa who tells the Senate about the situation they currently face and how they can defeat the weakened First Order. However, Finn has another attack and actually collapses this time. Senator Celchu seeing tells Poe to bring Finn to her office while a strange person watches on. 

In her apartment, Finn slowly comes to and muttering about a strange woman’s voice. Poe is confused by Senator Celchu looks terrified that doesn’t go unnoticed. Wanting to seem normal, she tells Finn that she’ll go and fetch him a drink of water with Poe where we find out why Senator Celchu was so disturbed is because she believes Finn is force sensitive and is showing the early signs of Force Madness. Poe asks what Force Madness was and Senator Celchu answers that it’s a type of mental illness that seems to only affect those who are sensitive to the force and that Leia and Luke had nearly succumbed to the effects only for Leia to break off her connection with the force entirely while Luke disappeared. She also mentions that others were not so lucky and were ‘sent away’ to an institution though she doesn’t elaborate on who exactly and there seems to be more to the story. Poe promises that Finn will be fine but Senator Celchu doesn’t seem to believe him.

On Auch-To, we see Luke wake up to a redheaded woman smiling down at him and petting his hair. Luke looks shocked for a moment before saying, ‘Mara?’ The redheaded woman smiles before saying, ‘Come on, Lars is outside and we’ll be heading home soon.’ Luke seems about to go with her before stopping and screaming for her to get out of his head. The redheaded woman’s face turns into a horrifying smile full of razor-sharp teeth and attacks Luke...and he wakes up to see Rey. She’s frustrated with Luke’s refusal to teach her and tries to argue with him, and Luke simply replies that if she feels that way then she should leave and go back to Jakku. This infuriates Rey who runs to other side of the island to practice for herself and prove to Luke she’s serious when she begins to hear a voice. It’s strangely familiar. Compelled, she begins to follow the voice down into a cave where she continues to hear the voice until it leads her to a strange reflective rock that looks like a large mirror. Suddenly, she hears the voice again as two figures start to appear. Who was it? Was it her parents? Something started to come into view. Someone. Rey leans into see more clearly until she sees something that looks like a smile but before she can really decipher what it is, she’s grabbed from behind. It was Luke who drags her out of the cave.

She screams and yells at him saying that she almost saw her parents which Luke bluntly says that no she didn’t and that she was being deceived. She demands answers to which Luke after a bit of hesitation finally relents and takes Rey up to the Altar, the most ancient building on the island where she see a grand mural depicting three figure in white, gray, and black fighting off some kind of demon before a mosaic of the same three beings on the opposite wall. Luke explains that the three on the wall are called the Father, the Son, and the Daughter who represent the Balance, the Dark Side, and the Light Side respectively and were worshipped as gods by the early Jedi before their memory faded into myth and legend before being forgotten altogether. However, he explains there was one more of these god-like creature, the Mother, the Chaos of the Force, called Abeloth. Being the incarnation of Chaos, she was filled with hate and malice and nearly destroyed the universe until the Ones managed to seal her away into the core of Auch-To where she has stayed for millions of years. Rey asks him what this has to do with what she saw and he says that she is on the brink of being released. For 50 years, Abeloth’s seal has been slowly breaking allow more and more of her evil energy to be released into the galaxy until it became so terrible that it single-handedly created Force Madness, a mental illness that his own son and wife were afflicted with until they, along with most of his students, and many other force sensitives had to be institutionalized. Even he wasn’t completely unaffected and would experience terrible nightmares regarding a creature with horrifying smile so he went on a journey to find the source and hopefully a cure for the madness but he ended up finding Auch-To instead where he learned that because his father and master caused the deaths of the Ones in the past, she will not spread her influence any further if he remains to make up for their actions. Rey asks if there’s anything that can stop her and he simply says ‘The powers of a god, maybe.’

Back with the First Order, we see Leia’s cell door open to reveal Kylo Ren with a tray of food which he tries to hand to Leia who coldly rejects it. He says she needs to eat something but Leia retorts that she’s gone far longer without food. Kylo Ren tries to speak to her again when Phasma comes in to tell that Supreme Leader Snoke has summoned him to his chamber, Kylo Ren nods before giving one last look to his mother who doesn’t care to even look at him. He makes his way to Snoke’s chambers where he bows to his master who tells him that he has felt conflict inside of him. Kylo Ren says it’s nothing but Snoke tells him that it better be since he will be the one to execute General Organa in 5 days before the whole galaxy. Kylo Ren nods but looks conflicted.

On Coruscant, Winter and Poe are loudly arguing that the New Republic should make a major assault against the First Order now that they’re weakened, however, many senators are still afraid. While this happening, Finn is experiencing visions and more hallucinations of a strange woman with long white hair who keep whispering for him. 

Oh shit rian johnson at my house with the fun Pigs - i mean cops -

So I've been seeing again the Sequel trilogy because I'm a masochist, but what I increasingly realise when I watch these films is that Rian Johnson is the Madonna to J. J. Abrams' Lady Gaga. Rian Johnson really created something different with The Last Jedi, and J. J. Abrams, just copied A New Hope in Force Awakens and when he came back for The Rise of Skywalker, he threw away the work of a filmmaker who unlike him didn’t half copy other people by turning their stories into something reductive. Because while he screwed up the last film and ruined the narrative, he took story bits he liked from Johnson's and Luca's work, and gave us a reductive piece of work. And that along with all the films ( different franchises ) in which Abrahms promised a lot but delivered nothing I can now safely say I have beaf with J. J. Abrams and Disney for killing Star Wars for me. Thank god of AO3 and fanfic writers.

[Image description: Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn Nine Nine is holding a dog. The dog has Christopher McQuarrie’s face superimposed over it. The text reads, ‘I’ve only had McQ for a day and a half, but if TG:M loses Best Adapted Screenplay to Glass Onion I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.’]

Any Last Jedi fan here who also happens to hate Lily Orchard's horrible revenge-fic The Sith Resurgence? Because I'm one of them.

i didnt understand why reylo got too much and i wish finnpoe should canon and i wish john should stop defend tros

When you look back at the way Reylo was received back in 2016-2019, the whole uproar it caused was kind a insane for such a tame ship. You would think that Rey and Kylo brutalized one another beyond recognition with the way people were describing it People seriously treated that ship like it was some kind of fandom bogeyman and it was an object of mockery and contempt for years. You had people calling Reylos abuse apologists, school shooter apologists, and “the sort of people who would endorse fascists” over a couple from a Disney franchise.

As for finnpoe, I really hate the fact that it never had a chance of being canon. And if that wasn’t enough, both Finn and Poe got respective love interests in TROS who both had about as much personality and charm as a cold slice of untoasted bread. TROS was an atrocity for many reasons and that one is certainly up there on the list.

I’m also still confused as to why John was so defensive of TROS when arguably it did him the worst out of all three movies. TFA gave him a strong character arc and TLJ had used that foundation to expand on Finn’s journey from storm trooper to a resistance hero. Obviously both movies weren’t perfect with how they handled his character, but they’re at least better than the movie where he was back to pining after Rey and getting a half- hearted “oh he was force sensitive all along!” reveal. It’s just very puzzling to witness him critique elements of the sequels that did a disservice to his character while at the same time, lauding the movie that did him the dirtiest.