some of you just can’t fathom the reality of being bisexual and capable of loving men & women. some of you read the ‘lesbian’ masterdoc, which i could shove down every woman’s throat and i’d guarantee you they could relate to it, and are now trying to tell women who are bisexual that actually no, you wanting to fuck willy wonka is actually a huge sign of being a lesbian because he’s fake! Like……some of you are actually idiotic. Bisexuality is literally in your face but no! bisexuality is invalid, bisexuality is hard to explain…….seriously? you can date women and never touch a man and still be bisexual. The masterdoc literally says that marrying a man could bring you comfort but you could still be a lesbian !……Anyways a whole lot of those ‘lesbians’ that use that bright colored lesbian flag always have the most bisexual way of explaining their sexuality and it’s so sad to see people so in denial, so confused, and so delusional. i’m so glad i woke up bc i know it’s exhausting having to explain that every crush on a celebrity male or fictional male is still not a sign of OSA….LOL

whats the difference between lesbian repulsion for men, and febfem repulsion for men?

ive been so confused about whether im a lesbian or febfem. with either one i wouldn't engage with men, but if im febfem, and wouldnt be romantic or intimate with a man ever, how do i know im attracted to them?

okay, listen. i'm gonna assume you're using "febfem" in good faith like i once did, but unless you actually are a radfem on my blog for some weird reason then please don't. i literally use the term "bi sapphics" instead to emphasize wlw attraction and i'm not sure how you missed such an obvious replacement for a problematic term if you're asking me somewhat-advanced questions like this. i'm not mad, just a little shocked you're talking positively about febfems in my inbox and i wanna address that first.

but to answer your question, at the end of the day the most general answer is you're the one who indicates that. if you think comphet is valid, you might wanna look into the lesbian masterdoc - you can probably just google it or search for it on twitter or tumblr. i have some beef with it personally and am very critical of it because it definitely contributes to bi erasure and was written without the consolation of bi women so it kinda tends to list very common bimisogynistic experiences as lesbian experiences, buuuuut i think it does actually provide some genuine and helpful relief in the longrun. i think comphet is conditionally real, all in separate lesbian contexts, wlw contexts, and women in general contexts because that's just how the patriarchy functions. maybe see which one is affecting you the most and figure out if that helps.

but like i said before all that, i really can't tell you because i don't live your experiences. what i will say is that i used to identify as a lesbian for a year because i went through something very similar, but then i realized my attraction to men just wasn't comphet. it might be the same for you, it might be different. maybe you'll go with bi sapphic and later realize it actually was comphet instead. nothing you do from here will be morally wrong and you shouldn't let anyone, especially radfems & exclus, tell you otherwise, because they will. even then, you could be super perfectly confident and still end up being wrong in the future. really only you can figure this out, with help of course, but i can't give you a definitive answer. hopefully my suggestion will get you somewhere.

if other lesbians and bi women want to add on, please feel free!! all opinions on the "am i a lesbian?" masterdoc are welcome.

ok my darling i’ll ask <3

— 12, 14, and 19 for marjan!

hi my love. thank you for asking <3

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

LESBIAN. LESBIAN. LESBIAN. she is a lesbian who is really struggling with comphet. i just wanna read her the lesbian masterdoc, play good luck babe, hug her and tell her "it'll be okay. i know it's scary, but you'll be so much happier."

her and paul have weekly dinner nights where they hang out and take turns teaching each other how to cook their favorite meals. they fight over what records to play, what wine to bring, BREAKING OF THE SPAGHETTI (CC @lemonlyman-dotcom) ?? (marjan is an anti-breaking of spaghetti girl, i just know.)

she loves mornings, she loves the solitude of the mornings. she is the type that has to get up and get herself put together before anything else.

oh no this was too many, you can put me down, it's okay.

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

oh my god. i don't know. i'm the worst fashion person alive i think. i found this on pinterest and think it's very cute and fits her vibe.

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

all of them? lmao. i actually don't hate her with joe, its just kinda meh to me. salim, however, i would fight him.

character ask game

hello im on anon bc im new to radblr and im a crypto but just wanted to say thank you for standing up for bisexuals on this blog. idk why but for some reason i expected radblr to have better opinions on bi women than the whole ‘sexually promiscuous bihet’ and ‘traitor for being osa’ and ‘more privileged than homosexuals’ bullshit that everybody else spews. the alphabet cult is actively erasing us in favor of ‘trans inclusive labels’, radblr is invalidating us by blatantly ignoring so many bi women’s experience with sexuality. the biphobia here is almost worse than any offhanded comment ive heard from a straight person. i also don’t think many understand that some women know they’re bi and are confident in that, but others may use bi during a time when theyre unsure if they’re actually attracted to men. ive gone a few of my teenage years acknowledging to myself that im bi, but now in my 20s im questioning if i ever truly felt attracted to men. the things i feel sexually in my most recent relationship with a woman are things ive never felt or even imagined were possible when ‘crushing’ on a guy. i acknowledge that *some* men are aesthetically pleasing for me to look at, but i’m also penis repulsed and always have been. theres nothing sexy to me about penis. truly. it makes me ill thinking about it. and that is confusing for me, bc seeing so many lesbians on here say how sure theyve been about liking women makes me think they did not grow up in an area like i did where homosexuality was truly thought of as demonic, even by the most ‘liberal’ people. i had no idea ssa was normal until i was probably 12 or 13 years old, and before then i just. repressed those feelings. i still did until i was about 17 and fully admitted to myself that ‘hey, i like girls’.

also i didn’t even know what the ‘comphet masterdoc’ was until exploring radblr, but i had heard comphet before and felt that it was very accurate in describing how i feel about men. idk anything abt what’s on the doc. regardless of my ‘true’ sexuality, it feels like theres a very hostile attitude towards bisexuality here, or even someone saying ‘ive tried to have a crush on guys before but only feel sexually/romantically attracted to women’ is met with ‘if youve even THOUGHT about having sex with a man then youre not a lesbian.’ no room for nuance.

sorry for the rant in your inbox, i hope this is okay. but yeah. thank you for being open about bisexuals here and standing up for them.

Thank you! I realized a while ago that radblr had a lot of issues that need to be challenged but I’ve also come to appreciate why these issues occur.

At the end of the day, almost nowhere allows women to speak this freely. Lesbians have had even their online communities absolutely destroyed by the TQ. So more than a few lesbian women on here really don’t want to talk to or about non lesbian women. And I think they’d be happier if they created a separate space for themselves on here where they didn’t feel pressured to, which I think is where a ton of this negativity comes from.

Bisexual women also need to stop offering themselves up as social sacrifices. I see a lot of the anti bi stuff come from bi women themselves sadly. A lot of women on radblr never unlearned that deeply unhelpful ID pol hierarchy from their TRA days.

As for your own personal journey, don’t let other people’s pain, no matter how legitimate, compound your own pain. The way I navigated my sexuality was I called myself a lesbian in my head because men did repulsed me. But it felt like a lie. I’d see a handsome dude jogging and feel a pang of attraction. Men still crept into my fantasies. I have zero desire to sleep with or date men. But that’s got nothing to do with my attraction to them. It’s a conscious personal choice I’ve made for my own happiness and safety.

So call yourself a lesbian just inside your head. Do it everyday. Look in the mirror and say “I am a lesbian” and if after a few months that feels like a lie then you’re bisexual and that’s amazing! If it feels like coming home, if everyday it feels more true, then you’re a lesbian and that’s amazing!

Please love yourself no matter what 💛

anti comphet masterdoc vids on youtube…my sisters are WAKING UP

How did you find out you're bisexual? I feel like I'm making it harder than it has to be, I even don't feel comfortable being labeled as bisexual but sometimes I feel like I am😭

Honestly just experiment, if you feel like it then most likely it’s true- that’s how i felt as well even though i kept ignoring it.

but girlllllllll it’s a whole story & i’m willing to tell you to try and help you out a bit

So first of all, bisexuality has always been in my life lol idk how to explain it but i am spiritual and feel like the universe did that for a reason that reason being that i am actually bisexual.

At 14, i had my first real girl crush and it lasted for about 3 years. And in between i had a few guy crushes as well. At 17, i found the comphet masterdoc and erased all the attraction i’ve ever had for men and brushed over it as comphet even though that’s not the case. I just didn’t understand bisexuality which i feel is a big problem with a lot of questioning bisexuals, some of us don’t really know that we don’t have to be 50/50 all the time or have a preference.

So at 20, still identifying as a lesbian, still shoving potential male crushes away, i met a guy :|. He was my bassist & i thought i would’ve been able to talk to him without developing feelings but i did.. but i was 20 and i just didn’t care anymore and started identifying as bisexual. It was hard at first because i still feel that i should be devoting all this attention to women but sometimes i won’t ? I am bi after all…

It took some grieving i’ll be honest because i literally implemented myself in lesbian only spaces as if i was one because i related to so much what they were saying i had no idea i would’ve been bi anyways.

I feel that it was really mature of me to finally stop playing around and come out as bi to myself & to my lesbian online friends- some were upset, some unfollowed/blocked me and some stayed around

now a few months later i still struggle especially when i like a guy bc i just want to feel real and all that….

Being bi isn’t a bad thing and im actually happy to be bi <3 Hope that helps and gives you some perspective (especially if you feel gaslit by the comphet masterdoc)

looking at my old favorites on tiktok 😧…..

radfems have found my post. anon isn't a febfem and won't associate with y'all and likes my answer just fine so maybe FUCK OFF and stop explicitly manipulating them in your reblogs ??? i'm truly concerned that you want them to come to you for the "real answer" when your definitions are so strict and have the malicious intention of deciding their experiences for them so you can put them in their place.

i will say i totally forgot the author of the doc came out as bi later on, because i did, but that's it. however, it was never corrected, rewritten, or addressed, and so until then it should be seen from the perspective of someone who wants the experiences listed to be believed to be lesbian experiences.

if you find this post, don't interact with it. it's not hard. block me, vaguepost, do what you have to do. if you don't respect my wishes i'm gonna consider that harassment.

anti comphet masterdoc let's gooooooo

literally only people with big brains get it !