#and you can say whatever you want about thousands of people blah blah fucking blah and i will tell you with 100% sincerity
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Christmas Shit
The next of the Christmas charity prompts. @orbisonblue generously donated and asked for some Jimmy and Javier from From Better or Worse.
Content tags: some mention of Jimmy's (absent) awful, homophobic family, complete with how they think/talk about gay stuff as well as Jimmy. This is futurefic, so I guess book spoilers.
All characters are mine blah blah.
Christmas Shit
Javier let himself into Jimmy’s place through the back door like always, narrowly avoiding Baci as she bolted outside to chase leaves, one of the bags in his arms smacking into the wall hard enough to make him freeze and listen for any glass breaking. But he forgot the spun glass white egret intended as a Christmas present for Peyo to put in the yard that was now possibly shattered into a thousand pieces, because Jimmy sprang up from where he’d been lying on the couch and flailed around until he found the remote.
He waved it at the TV while forcefully pressing buttons, probably intending to turn it off but only pausing the screen. Javier glanced at the image of several white people in period costumes lined up opposite each other for what he assumed was a dance, then faced Jimmy, who was staring at him with eyes a little too wide. As though Javier had just walked in on him watching porn—no, Javier had walked in on him watching porn and also had watched some with him, so this was something else.
He realized what only a second after his first thought. Trust Jimmy to still have hangups about doing anything that might be considered ‘weak’ or ‘gay’ where anyone in his family might see.
Javier was not someone who raged or held grudges, but he had a collection of things he was waiting for a chance to say to the Rizzo family if he ever met them.
Not that he ever would. That was why Jimmy was out here, and why he volunteered to work on every holiday, and probably why he’d made up reasons to not go to Christmas shopping at the mall in Riverton with Javier and Peyo today.
“You’re home earlier than I expected,” Jimmy said, almost breathless. He was not looking back at the TV screen. Javier couldn’t let him go on being nervous, even though if he waited, Jimmy would remember on his own that Javier was one of his asshole relations back in the Midwest who would insist something like that was for fags.
But Javier didn’t feel like letting Jimmy suffer even for another second. “Is that Pride and Prejudice?” He calmly closed the door behind him; Baci would let them know when she wanted back inside.
“I don’t know,” Jimmy answered immediately, then seemed to realize how childish he sounded and frowned at the couch for a moment. “I guess,” he amended. “Probably.”
Javier gentled his voice but made his point anyway. “Everyone knows who Colin Firth is. Because of that thing.” Jimmy set his jaw as though he had an argument he wasn’t going to make, so Javier added, “and that Bridget Jones or whatever.” And then, because it would make Jimmy’s relatives squirm, “And Mamma Mia.”
“Rhonda loves that movie. Fuck you. She put it on when I was over there.” This was muttered, but at least Jimmy was starting to look less squirrely.
Tiny’s wife did love Mamma Mia. But Javier suspected that Jimmy’s opera-loving ass was fond of it too, and would probably enjoy more musicals if given the chance.
Javier left that unsaid. “You can keep watching. I’m going to go stash this stuff in the bedroom.”
It was not, technically, his bedroom, or even their bedroom. Not on the lease anyway. Javier still had his bedroom in Peyo’s house next door. But when he’d told Jimmy he’d be hiding presents in their bedroom, Jimmy hadn’t objected. He’d even cleared out space in the closet.
“Nah, I don’t need to watch the rest, it’s okay,” Jimmy denied anyway.
Javier studied him without moving, letting shopping bag handles dig into his arms. He stared until Jimmy fidgeted and said, “What? It’s fine. I don’t need to keep watching.”
Then Javier just said, very softly, “It’s okay if you’d rather watch it by yourself. But I wouldn’t spoil it for you if you let me join you. I’ve never seen it. Just that other one.”
Jimmy put his head back like this was an unexpected blow. “You saw that one?”
Javier nodded. “In the station believe it or not. And no, it was not me or Scotty who put it on. Hmm. I did read one of her books, Austen’s I mean, in college, but not this one. So definitely no spoilers from me.”
“Oh.” Jimmy shifted from foot to foot once, restless or indecisive. “I didn’t put this on either. But it came on.”
“And it was so good that you stopped what you were doing to watch?” Javier couldn’t help his smile or the teasing, but getting Jimmy to forget his fight-or-flight reactions to these things always felt good. Like a reward or a gift shared between the two of them. But he didn’t push the teasing despite how he probably could have now. “You want something to eat? I can do that next and bring it to you while you watch.”
Jimmy narrowed his eyes, but then dipped one shoulder, looking so adorably bashful and fierce at the same time that Javier hid a sigh. “Yeah. Thanks. You don’t have to, but thanks. I… you can join me, if you want. I can start over.”
“I’m not going to make you do that.” Javier wouldn’t have anyway, but also he vaguely thought that version was long and he had already worn himself out with the drive to Riverton and then shopping, and was probably going to take a nap even if he tried not to. It wasn’t worth it to start it all over for him now. “But you could fill me in while I make us some sandwiches?”
Jimmy wiped the amazed look off his face quickly, but Javier still caught it. He didn’t comment, though. He went to the bedroom, then came into the kitchen to wash his hands and get out what was left of the roast they’d made the other day and every condiment within reach.
“You want me to make you some coffee?” Jimmy asked from the kitchen doorway, watching Javier with his hands in his pockets, somehow still looking bashful and fierce. He accepted that Javier wasn’t going to laugh at him or mock him, but was unable to quite shake old fears. “You look tired. The old man drive you crazy today?”
“Tempting,” Javier admitted. “But I had two coffees at the mall already.”
He was focused on slicing bread and so didn’t realize Jimmy had moved. He put down the knife to reach for some onion and felt Jimmy’s breath on the back of his neck a second before Jimmy wrapped an arm around him.
“Thank you.”
Javier didn’t think Jimmy was talking about the food with that soft, sweet whisper, although it was just possible. He turned until he could press a quick kiss to the side of Jimmy’s face. Jimmy’s cheek was hot and held the faint impression of one of the couch cushions, as if he’d been watching Pride and Prejudice with his face smushed against a pillow.
Javier kissed him again. “So, what were you watching before to make the channel suggest this?”
It got him a whine and more grumbling. “Javi.”
“It’s just a question,” Javier answered with innocence that might have seemed false to Jimmy, because he sighed deeply.
Then, without meeting Javier’s eye, said, “I wanted something Christmas that wasn’t anything I used to watch with them.”
Them being all the Rizzos except his ex-wife, who was a Rizzo by marriage-of-convenience and so didn’t really count as a Rizzo to Javier. Not like the rest of those assholes. She had sent them a Christmas card.
Javier held all those thoughts in, waiting for Jimmy to continue to explain, which he would if he wanted to.
Which he must have, because he angled his face to keep his gaze away but ask for another kiss, and then muttered, clearly embarrassed, “So a few years ago, I got in the habit of watching those holiday rom coms. The bad ones.”
“The bad ones?” Javier echoed, mostly because his impression of those Hallmark TV movies was that they were all bad.
Jimmy gave a tight shrug. “You know, the ones with the city girls, and the small towns covered in Christmas shit that nobody in their right mind fucking does. Like not even people who live in towns with Christmas tourism go that fucking nuts for it. But… they’ve got the colors and everything, and snow in ‘em a lot of the time and it don’t snow here. And they’ve almost always got really welcoming families in those insane Christmas towns and I…”
He stopped, abruptly and obviously.
“Ah.” Javier grabbed Jimmy by the collar of his t-shirt and pulled him closer until their eyes met.
“Aw, Javi,” Jimmy whined again, but apparently for a different reason. “Now, I gotta kiss you. It ain’t fair.”
Javier didn’t have time to get offended. Jimmy put hands on either side of his face and kissed him, slow and careful, without the hunger Javier had been expecting. He pulled back, then came in again to offer Javier another, even softer kiss, before saying, “You didn’t get out the good mustard.”
“Sorry,” Javier answered automatically.
Jimmy bobbed his head, cheered by food and the preparation of it, or the kiss, or being in the kitchen with Javier, which he had said many times was his favorite place to be “in the whole goddamn world.” He went to the fridge himself for the mustard, leaving Javier to watch him and shiver and think about what was left of the afternoon.
He cleared his throat. “We can eat, and I’ll tell you all about Peyo ditching me at the mall for a date,” or a hookup, “with his current old lady romantic partner.” It made Jimmy snort a laugh, so Javier continued. “Then, if you want, we can go back to your movie. Or wrap presents. Or and wrap presents, if you want. Whatever you want, Jimmy.” Javier had just heard enough carols in the mall to last him until next Christmas, but, “We could even listen to carols. There’s sure be a playlist somewhere. Whatever you want. I mean it.”
“I do not want carols,” Jimmy huffed. He went stiff, then relaxed. Not completely, but enough. “It’s a tough time of year for people like me. That’s all.”
Javier forced himself to turn back the counter so Jimmy wouldn’t have to keep inventing reasons to go hide his face in the fridge. “I know, baby.”
That was said just to hear the grumbled, “Fucking baby, he says. Il mio coure.” Jimmy closed the refrigerator door, though, then paused. “You need anything else for these?”
Javier made his voice overly sweet. “Peppers if you want them, baby.”
He got a pissy look for it, but Jimmy did go back into the fridge for the jar. He put it on the counter. “How about a tea if not coffee, huh?” he offered. Then, while fussing with the kettle said over his shoulder, as if it were no big deal, “So—there is this family that has all daughters, okay? Like five of ‘em and none of them are married.”
“Okay,” Javier agreed, and hid his smile.
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First Lines
Thank you @firesign23 for the tag!
Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway
The Skull (currently a WIP), Succession, Roman/Gerri, Explicit
“Hey there, Roman!”
Fuck.
Roman is on his way to the elevator, on his way the fuck out of here. Only three hours early. Got a hot date with a hot bleugh-blah-whatever.
The Sweetest Decline, Succession, Roman/Gerri, Explicit
The summer is over, but the summer is never over in LA.
Gerri is here, in the lazy sunshine quiet of the Pacific Palisades, in the rude Roy opulence of Roman’s house. There’s a lot to think about, but she’s not thinking. Gerri is just here being. She’s letting being be enough.
Pandora's Box, chapter 2: Reparations, Succession, Roman/Gerri, Explicit
It’s 3am when Roman gets home, and Gerri is still awake.
Half of him had hoped she would be asleep. The other half knew she wouldn’t be.
Knight Club, Game of Thrones, Jaime/Brienne, Explicit
People are always asking her if she knows Jaime Lannister.
“Do you have any last words?” Jaime asks with a smirk. A toss of his curls.
Brienne tries to reply, but what she says isn’t words. You can only speak in consonants with the tip of a sword pressed into your chin.
Death by a Thousand Cuts, Succession, Roman/Gerri, Explicit
One day, Baird died.
It was like that. One day, Gerri got up and ate breakfast, smoked a cigarette in the garden where the girls couldn’t see, got dressed and did her hair. She sniped at Baird because he hadn’t made the bed when he’d got out of it. He sniped back that she had forgotten to feed the dog. They argued about what exactly Lilya’s duties were as a housekeeper. Or Perla’s as the nanny. Gerri put her shoes on, yelled goodbye to the twins yelling at each other at the breakfast table and went to work.
Bad Things, Succession, Roman/Gerri, Explicit
The candles are guttering. Shiv is bleeding. Kendall’s eyes are glassy and gone.
Roman is slipping away – his blood now fills all the little rivulets and divots and scrolls atop the sacrificial slab. It drips into the cauldron below, already being chanted over by Karl and Frank and Kerry, already being prepared as an offering to Matsson.
Gerri doesn’t care. She doesn’t fucking care. It’s over, she’s done, he’s fucked.
Shadowboxing, Succession, Roman/Gerri, Explicit
He hates that bitch.
He hates that fucking bitch.
He wants to scream in her face. Throw things at her. Throw furniture across the room.
A Moon of Me, Game of Thrones, Jaime/Brienne, Explicit
It was day eight of being back in her own body, and gods. Brienne had forgotten just how bloody clumsy she was. How huge and ungainly and prone to smacking her head on doorways and showers and lampshades she was.
This wasn’t going to be easy.
Why Not?, Game of Thrones, Jaime/Brienne/Arthur Dayne, Explicit
He’s there again, outside the restaurant.
Brienne sees Jaime looking as he clears the outside tables. Sees him glance the busker’s way as he tunes his beautiful, pearl-white guitar. Sees Jaime watch and keep watching, too.
Our Little Secret, Succession, Roman/Gerri, Explicit
Gerri isn’t saying much.
She’s not saying anything. Just sitting at the breakfast table on the terrace in her wide-brimmed straw hat and her pretty white linen dress looking ... crestfallen.
Tagging @seethemflying, @lizwontcry, @thisbetternotawakenanything, @thecostoflies, @it-may-be-dull-but-im-determined, @humanveil, @alittledizzy, @bairdkellmans, @meriwynlee, @actualhumancryptid
#Gerri x Roman#jaime x brienne#romangerri#fic game#fic recs#roman roy#gerri kellman#jaime lannister#brienne of tarth
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erm this is on my ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/49051921
or read below :333
a/n: this was a req on my ao3 :3
word count: 631
Witchcraft was your specialty. Groundskeeping was your profession.
It paid the bills. Took up free time. Made you forget about your loneliness.
You had never been much of a romantic. Which is to say, you were perpetually single.
That never bothered you though. You found comfort in casting spells. It made getting through life easier.
It was probably the reason you were the only cemetery keeper. And definitely the reason your pay was a thousand bucks an hour.
Sorcery made your life a living heaven! Nearly anything you wanted, at your fingertips.
But of course, there were rules to spell casting.
No making people fall in or out of love, no time travel, no clone making, no reviving the dead, blah blah blah.
But where's the fun in playing fair?
On the fortune morning of November 8th, you had a 3am shift.
As you stomped over the old dead people, you saw an abnormally large grave.
One that looked like it could fit two people.
Catching your interest, it started to glow an eerie blue. You waltzed over to the dirt patch, reading the headstone.
"Leo and Vincent Caruso." It called to you. Literally. Called.
Perhaps your enchanted headphones were acting up again. How the fuck did the headstone just speak?
Standing no less than 5 feet away from it, you begin to hear more voices. What fun.
Then you remember it. The dud spell you cast yesterday, on your day off. 'The revival of the Two of Hearts.'
You had to burn a perfectly good deck of cards.
Sure, you didn't actually think a resurrection spell would work, it is forbidden after all.
But the two corpses crawling out of the earth are living- sorry, undead proof. It worked.
The only consequence for summoning the undead is the unlikely possibility of them haunting you. You know, eternally. 'Till you die.
Sounds fun.
The voices were bickering, over what? That was beyond you.
Standing directly on the old grave, shovel in hand, you start digging. Until you're yelled at.
"Hey! Who's banging on our roof?!"
"Calm down, Leo. I'll check it out."
Uh, hell no.
You would have ran, but you didn't have any time to before a ghost-like figure was sprouting its head up.
"Oh. Someone's here."
"What? Tell me it's not the groundskeeper.
The second 'person' joins their roomie above ground.
You're mumbling the words, "Yeah, I'm out." before you can stop yourself.
"Holy shit! You can see us?" The second head speaks again.
"You know what, I wish I couldn't." You start walking back to your car, done with this nightmare.
"No- wait come back!" "We have a visitor, Vince! We should welcome them!"
"Welcome? Why would I want to stay with you undead strangers?" You stop in your tracks, instantly failing at trying to ignore them.
Showing his full body, 'Leo' calls, "We aren't that bad! Promise!"
There's no less than an hour left on your shift.
What's hanging out with some old-ass ghosts' gonna hurt?
Both men stand on your earthly level, looking a bit too excited to meet you.
"It's been forever since we've had company!" That explains it.
"We were revived yesterday, Leo."
"Fuck you."
You sense a strange feeling of peace running through your body as you listen to their banter.
"You're welcome for that, by the way." You tip off your witch hat.
"Huh? Welcome for what?" Leo asks.
"Oh, I cast a resurrection spell, and it partially revived you old hags."
"Old hags?"
"Shut up." You all laugh, comfortably. "But yeah, I'm a witch. Not really sure how you missed that, Vince." You gesture to your foot-long hat.
He scoffs. "It's Vincent to you."
"Whatever you say, Vince."
Leo, feeling left out, yells, "I'd say we're all gonna get along great!"
a/n: i feel like this fell apart at the end but this was such a silly req tysm bro
#a way out#a way out game#a way out fanfic#a way out fic#awo#vinceo#leo caruso#vincent moretti#leo x vincent#koexfic
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It all started with the first inhale. Then excessive coughing as my lungs rejected whatever the fuck i just inhaled in the first place. It was gross, the first few times. Tasted like ash and made my throat hurt.
It wasn’t a good enough inhale where I could experience the sweet sweet headrush. It was just gross.
I didn’t finish the cigarette.
The second time I did finish it. But it didn't make me feel any less better about the taste. Puffs small enough, and never reaching my lungs, mostly sitting on my tongue and I would blow it out.
It came easier with time, now I take a drag of a cigarette first thing in the morning before I even have breakfast. I wouldnt say I'm addicted, but that's what everyone says right? But really, I'm not addicted. Just need it to soothe the ache in my skull. I just need it before I can start my day. I just need it so I can have a few moments to myself outside in the rain in the back of the restaurant, where I sit crouched beside a dumpster and stare at the pavement. I just need it so I feel less shitty about myself, but after I snuff out the butt in a cracked mug I designated as the ashtray, I still feel shitty about myself because I know exactly what it's doing to my lungs. But it’s because I know exactly what it’s doing to my lungs that I continue smoking. Like any teanager romantisising the ‘aesthetic’ of holding a cigarette between your fingers, I spend hours googling the permanent and short term effects of what adults have called a ‘cancer stick’.
The name is funny, but in an unfunny way.
My dad doesnt know I smoke, so at night, when he’s asleep I sneak out and sit on the steps in front of the house and look up. The skies are mostly cloudy at night, but sometimes it's not. And I watch as the smoke curls around and dances around the thousands of bright white dots that decorate the sky with a lack of sunshine to hide them.
I can only find the Big Dipper off the top of my head. It’s the most recognisable constellation in the sky. Well, asterism. The Big Dipper is not a constellation. I went through a phase in high school.
I lost the ability to recall all of the constellations in my northern hemisphere. But if I look long enough, sometimes I can see Cassiopeia. I could never find the Little Dipper.
And that's how it is. Smoke and stars and me.
Alone on my front patio away from where my dad can find me, smoking to feel the headrush that makes me feel high for a minute. It’s blissful, then I snuff out the butt, and place it in an old pack with the picture of a dying woman. The old pack is getting full. With burnt ends. And the picture is scratched from my keys.
“Smoking can affect generations,” it says. A picture of an old lady and her grown daughter, both looking like they haven't eaten in weeks. “Blah blah blah leading cause of preventable cancer.”
I know. And no amount of pictures the government will place on the packs will make me think “Oh, I should quit, I don't wanna end up like that.”
I’ll quit when I want to. And it’s not going to be today, or tomorrow.
It might be next week, who knows.
I'm addicted. Funny that.
I always thought people who smoked looked cool, especially young ones, close to my age. But when I started smoking, I was around people much older and wiser who smoked too. They looked at me like they got it, and did not talk to me about it, or try to force me to stop.
They offered me one when I ran out. Sometimes they would buy me a pack.
“To save you some money for school.” He told me, then his cat jumped on his lap and began purring. She was a lovely cat. Was, as in, she died. Bone cancer. Funny that.
Shelly would purr like a lawnmower.
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I feel like you’re taking that bottom jokes too seriously, I find them funny and less insulting because sometimes they do look like that kind of couple. Along with the other anon, those jokes are more weirder than the bottom ones because they are analyzing what a possible innocent joke could be. Not to mention that Tomdayland has been caught even having to delete their posts for being very over the top for the sex jokes. I’d rather see the pegging jokes over that because people are just making light fun and don’t really mean it and hear you are justifying one weird behavior over the least weird 💀
I don’t know who you are so when you say “I do not take them seriously”, that means nothing to me. Like why should I care about an anon’s opinion? You are just words on a screen, grey face. Next time send the ask from your username . “I would rather see the pegging jokes over that blah blah”. Oh you would rather, princess ? Who are YOU? Lol. Go post your opinions and what you would rather want to see or do or whatever the fuck on your own blog.
Also , just in case anyone else thinks like you about this topic, here is my opinion for the last time for y’all: the bottom jokes were A LOT. It was everywhere. The qtweets were drowning in thousands of the “he is a bottom” jokes. So, yes, it was bothersome when it was that many.
Pegging jokes is not light fun , you idiot. It is literally saying “that dude is too small and short and too “feminine” he can only be a pillow biter”. It is sexist and reeks toxicity to assume that just because he is “short”. How is that more “fun” than someone saying avocado is their sex code as a joke? That is a rhetorical question. Don’t bother replying. And don’t send another ask on this topic or you will get a block after I read the first three words and know it is from you.
By the way , tomdayaland and I had only ONE interaction with each other which ended up being a fight in dms a long time ago. We don’t like each other, so it is not like I am defending her. But your issue with her about her jokes is unnecessary and maybe you should take it to her instead of whining about it on another blog.
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Mr. Morally Grey will see you now...
Not your typical Christian Grey- certainly not the awkward weirdo from the movie. But definitely one for the books (again, not the actual book- which was a world class waste of time and paper). It's been an eventful- well textually eventful- week thus far. What started as friendly banter somehow escalated into a full on flirting session that, obviously given my track record (and apparently his), ended in sexytimes over the phone... Ok, so obviously not as sexy as you'd like it to be.. But gahddaamn it was in fact still sexy.
Starting to realise that Mr. Morally Grey brings out colours in me, I hadn't realised I had. Now we both know it's all fun and games - except its all fun and games till someone loses an eye. And the way this game is going- someone will be losing an eye (most likely me).
Let me tell you a bit about Mr. Morally Grey. You might need to sit down for this one. So first impression was: funny, gentle, sweet all that blah. Cute too, but not the kinda stuff to get your panties wet. Next impression: sexy times. Dude sounds like a freak in the sheets (thank you, universe! I have indeed waited long enough- I will accept this apology from you). Whatever I throw he's willing to catch (in hindsight it was mostly just for the gram, it appears). So perhaps not as much a freak as we'd like to believe- trust men to always lead you on only to disappoint. What can I say? Guess I'll take what I can get- it's still better than nothing.
To continue...Then we talk- for God knows how long, and I learn that he's both smart and determined... Smart, driven and freaky? Oh mama! He hit that trifecta like Jason Momoa hitting some lucky woman's g-spot... (this is assuming Jason Momoa's dong is directly proportionate to his immaculately sculpted body. If not, drop the metaphor) I mean honey? That's it! In the immortal words of Nicki Minaj, “them panties comin’ off"!
I could think about his Ig messages and cum all day- although tbf I don't really get to that point unless I talk to him. When he talks- are the conversations always meaningful? Sometimes yes, but at other times they are the absolute divine combination of witty and sensible- and by the end of it, you could bet all the money in the bank, I'm ready to pounce on him and ride him hard over and over again. This is the most hot and bothered I've been over a dude I met online only a few days ago. I can only hope he can put his money where his mouth is- if we ever get that chance. Because let's be real- he's a man. And if there's one thing you can count on men to do- it's to disappoint.
He might most likely lose interest- you can only pretend like you're interested in these conversations for so long before you wanna take it from the screens to the sheets. And that won't and can't happen for at least another 5 months! Are we actually doing this waiting game? Did we agree to this? I mean, we are just kidding about this ownership thing right? Is it just something for the gram and not outside of it? I'm assuming it is- coz I doubt Mr. Grey is gonna wait 5 months without getting laid just because some bitch thousands of miles away told him she owns him (when they aren't in any sort of relationship)! I mean, I get the thrill behind it- but it makes no sense. Neither for him nor for me.
But more importantly, I've got alarms going off in my head. Sure, I know this is all pretend but for fuck's sake- he gets me so hot and bothered. it's like, I could have him fuck me all day and I'd still want more! I know I'm attracted to something about him, and you know I don't like being attracted to people I can't trust. I mean what do I even know about this guy? He's very secretive. Keeps his cards close to his chest- which, given his past experiences makes sense, but that only means I'll never know who he really is. I already know that whatever snippets I get are carefully coordinated to benefit him- I know because that's what I always do too. So then what's the big deal right? Yes, I have met my match. But not really- because I trust myself enough to know that I'm transparent with my intentions from the start and I would never willingly hurt or use another person. I don't know if the same can be said here. Why does all this matter if its just a flirty thing? Because even a flirty thing should be a hundred percent transparent- and this isn't. I have so many fucking questions, and alarms at his behaviour- like how defensive he gets when you ask him anything intimate or involving this "whatchamacallit". Why the defensiveness? It makes it difficult to ask questions and get a clear understanding of where everything stands. So it's not like what I've got with the others- I've known them for years, and we started off as friends and tbf I don't have mind games with them. These mind games were fun at first (and still are if the mood is right)- but now my overactive mind is dissecting this information and I'm feeling uncomfortable.
I've got my Nike's ready- to run at the first sign of manipulation or sus behaviour. No thank you! I got enough of that in the past- I'm moving forward or not moving at all- certainly not going back to those hellish days.
Anyway- when I called him morally grey- now you get what I meant. Ironically- I'm attracted to fucking morally grey! And the truth is- whichever fucking way this goes, ngl I wanna bang. Just fuck each others' brains out, at least once- to hopefully get me through the next 10 years of mediocre sexual encounters with selfish men who couldn't find the G-spot if you gave them a fucking map!
I guess when they say "He's morally grey, but what can I say? Grey's my favourite colour.." I now see myself there. Irl too, not just the books. Maybe it's time to face the facts- he maybe misogynistic but I'm clearly masochistic.
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Damn, it's really been a while since I've done this, huh? But I never forgot about it. How could I? It's such a brilliant idea for an alignment chart! So without further ado, here's the glorious return of
THE PRO WRESTLING FAN ALIGNMENT CHART: DANGANRONPA V3 EDITION!!!
(Skipping DR3 mostly because it's been way too long since I've seen it and I already had a hard enough time doing this with characters I am more familiar with)
Some quick explanations for those of you who need them... which is probably everyone:
Mark: Pro wrestling target audience
Smark: Pro wrestling fandom (into behind-the-scenes stuff, "know-it-all" fans, etc.)
Wrestling is srs bsns: Wants wrestling to be taken super seriously; no comedy wrestling allowed so help me god
Watches DDT: Can watch Kota Ibushi wrestle a blow-up doll on loop for hours on end
With that out of the way, some rationalizations:
Let's start with Himiko. It's no surprise that she's neither a mark nor a smark, because she is the goddamn promotion, baby. She is the only one in this entire chart that is taking kayfabe fucking seriously. You want to go out there and destroy the business? Spill all the fucking beans? Not on her watch. She could be on trial for murder and she would still hold kayfabe because that is just what you gotta do to keep the business alive. Kayfabe is in her blood, her fucking veins. Don't fuck with kayfabe or Himiko will fuck you back. ...Bad choice of words, there.
Keebo and Kirumi don't understand the appeal of watching Kota Ibushi wrestle a blow-up doll. Maki wants to murder the next person that tries to send her a link to that video... which would probably be Kokichi, who I guarantee would have sent that link to over half of the people in this chart.
Kokichi is a smark with a little bit of a mark streak. Miu thinks she's a smark, and certainly acts like one, but she also thinks that every move is called a Dupree Bomb thanks to a certain YouTube channel. Both of them absolutely would watch Kota Ibushi wrestle a blow-up doll for hours on end and send the link to everyone they know afterwards.
Tenko thinks you'd have to be a degenerate male to watch something as depraved as... well... Kota Ibushi blah blah blow-up doll blah blah blah. Thank female Christ that The Amazing Himiko is here to remind us all that professional wrestling is a legitimate sport and not at all athletic theater.
Rantaro is one smarky motherfucker but he don't give two shits about how serious the product is. Plus you know Ibushi is kinda hot, he can do whatever he wants with that blow-up doll as far as Rantaro is concerned. Kokichi agrees with that sentiment.
Korekiyo is an anthropologist. He would absolutely be interested in whatever cultural phenomenons led to... again, the blow-up doll thing. I'm referencing that a lot today, but for good reason. Imagine, if you will, thousands of years from now, archeologists and anthropologists stumble upon a video of a man wrestling a blow-up doll, and it is all they have to go on for knowing of our time as everything else is lost. How will they understand us? How will they come to know us? Therefore, such studies are of absolute importance. Kiyo knows this, and now, so do you. Embrace your knowledge. Embrace your wisdom. Embrace the blow-up doll. I have no idea what the fuck I'm saying anymore.
Shuichi would definitely be more of a mark than Kaede and would definitely take wrestling more seriously. Angie, ever the artist, transcends the title of mark and smark much like Sakura before her, but views pro wrestling as an art form where anything is possible, even five star matches with blow-up dolls. Tsumugi wants you to believe that she's just some plain old mark when in reality she's the smarkiest of them all. Ryoma just doesn't really care all that much. Kaito and Gonta still haven't figured out yet that wrestling is fake.
I have no explanations for the bears because I don't really care. Fuck 'em. Except Monokuma. And the red one, he's alright I guess.
#dangan ronpa#himiko yumeno#kokichi ouma#miu iruma#tenko chabashira#korekiyo shinguuji#pro wrestling fan alignment chart
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Maybe this sounds really haughty and arrogant of me but honest to god the only way I can survive this fandom every time I see a braindead stupid take on Stella’s character or how Lucifer is designed or whatever other dumb shit I’m forced to bear witness to I simply have to remind myself that these people are fucking stupid and no matter their bullshit complaints both shows will go whatever damn direction Viv pleases and their isn’t shit they can do about it.
Legit some of y’all are dumber than the lead paint your parents likely grew up around.
Pitiful.
Like I really think it takes a certain degree of arrogance to think YOU or anyone else can do a better job at this or that, especially if you have no experience in it.
I don’t know shit about character design (I can imagine the shit these people would say about my OCs) or making a good villain or whatever the hell but like…I think the problem is they keep…expecting different and when it isn’t to their expectations they immediately wanna cry about it. I imagine this is because they have the emotional maturity of toddlers.
Like yeah, Stella as a character so far is pretty one note, but honestly I kinda appreciate having a villain be honest about their intentions. And it isn’t like it’s SURPRISING she’s a total capital B Bitch. Ever since the second episode of season 1, where she THREW AN IMP SERVANT AT STOLAS, it’s been CLEAR she’s meant to be a fucking terrible person.
The problem is these IDIOTS want Stolas to be the bad guy. They want Stolas to atone for his sins and realize “ah shit, I fucked up, I should go back to my wife and child and blah blah blah.” But the problem here is that he’s GAY. Even if he didn’t cheat on his bitch wife he would still be miserable.
So they want Stolas to stay in an unfulfilled relationship with a woman who clearly doesn’t give a shit about him for what? Octavia? Like being around parents who fight all the time is good for ANY child, 17 or not.
And dumb bitches think Stella is misogynistic. Please. So are all female villains misogynistic now? Or is it just because these fucks need a stupid reason to hate Vivzie, like there aren’t a thousand other “reasons” to according to these people.
Stella will probably get a sad backstory or whatever to explain her behavior, but until then we just gotta be PATIENT. If Stella gets a “oh god what have I done” moment it’ll be even better. But if she stays a bitch I’m not gonna whine either.
Maybe it’s just cuz I don’t exactly have many expectations. Like I’m not Viv, I don’t know where the story is going. And I know better than to cry like a bitch if my ideas aren’t fucking canon.
The people bitching about how Lucifer looks are braindead too btw. Like if they don’t like her style, fine, but like…I dunno man I feel like some people hate on it because it’s ‘cool’ to or something.
Like if you don’t like her stuff, that’s fine, but I feel like people who take time out of their day to bitch about it online all the time have to be some pathetic people. Hell I would feel the same way even if someone was bitching about someone I hate! Like at some point you have to move the fuck on with your life and focus on shit that you LIKE. Otherwise you become MISERABLE.
Here’s a hot take: Vivziepop’s stuff is good actually, y’all are just either impatient, stupid, or just insanely LGBTphobic or something and don’t realize it.
#tis i the werebitch#long post#would tag this my usual tags but I don’t desire to get bitched at by idiots
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You know what’s the absolute worst? People who gate keep characters acting like they have some weird understanding of them no one else on the planet could possibly have, ur rly not special, hate to break it to you but there’s hundreds of thousands of ppl all over the planet that like Kisaki and a ton that have before you even knew who he was lol. Ur big time yuck
you’re ugly aren’t you
#🦷SWEET TOOTH!#i told you this tag would be so funny w hate!!#anon why the fuck did you type out a whole paragraph when i’ve made myself so abundantly clear i do not give a fuck#and actually i’m gonna be real w you#i’m gonna let you in on a little secret#i’m obsessed w myself! i love myself. i think i’m the shit fr#i think i’m so fuckin cool like.. even the lame shit (i know theres lame shit) is so. it’s so great. i’m so great!#and you can say whatever you want about thousands of people blah blah fucking blah and i will tell you with 100% sincerity#i think i am better than them#you don’t need to deep it past that#it’s in my navi i’ve disclosed it so many times i had a tag for it#i am THE kisaki gatekeeper#‘Ur big time yuck’ oh my god are you seven?#if you’re gonna waste so much of your time insult me well#‘ur not really special’ but i am!!!! and kisaki is in love w me!!!! it’s actually so simple i’m so blessed arent i <3 thousands of ppl want#my little boy but nope he just wants me that’s so cute thank u anon!! u reminded me we’re goals#hundreds of thousands * pardon me#why do y’all think i care😞😞
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time travel aus, amirite? since we’ve all decided to start talking about our ideas, i thought i’d throw my hat into the ring. i’ve actually had this idea for a while, i just wasn’t sure what to do with it because i barely have the patience for one-shots, let alone the continuous plotted longfic this would need
it’s not my idea, of course, i’m incapable of original thought. it’s based off this can-i-really-call-it-a-genre-if-it’s-two-fics-with-the-same-premise where some combination of maedhros, maglor, elros, and elrond land in the blessed realm before - even the unchaining, in my take, when the ambarussa are still children and the world is blissful. it’s more specifically my take on this fic, which takes elrond and elros from very early in their captivity and maedhros from just before the silmaril theft and maglor from several centuries into the second age. i just plugged my own characterisations into it, and, uh. the specific setup this not-genre uses is that maitimo and makalaurë *~mysteriously disappear,~* throwing their extended family into chaos, blah blah blah, and then a few decades later -
well. with my characterisations, we have a nightmare hellbeast who’s burned up everything he used to be in singular pursuit of an unreachable goal and has carved his very self into a weapon, a completely drained beaten-up husk barely cognisant of reality past the screaming in his mind who’s so utterly broken it’s debatable if he even counts as an elda, and two extremely young extremely traumatised children in a completely unfamiliar land- and skyscape whose only adult they can maybe-kind-of trust is currently bleeding from the eyes and shrieking wordless notes of utter despair
yeah, this au’s Fun. elrond and elros have maybe eight words of quenya between them, most of which are obscene, maedhros will act completely normal until he suddenly stabs himself in the arm because can’t this stupid hallucination end already, he has a character arc to tank, and maglor seems completely unaware he’s not still on the beach having the same cyclic arguments with the ghosts of the people he failed. the elves of valinor aren’t completely unprepared to deal with this, at least not the ones who remember cuiviénen, but it’s still a massive shock to see two of the children they came to the land of the gods to protect twisted and scarred like the worst victims of the dark. especially since noone can figure out why
so yeah. i have trouble finishing oneshot collections, so i doubt i’ll ever write this out in full, but i do have a lot of Scenes. fëanáro staring in utter horror at the oath, whispering ‘i made this.’ elros and elrond’s somewhat hole-filled explanation of their backstory devolving into a sindarin argument, and when the family asks tyelkormo what they’re talking about he freezes before saying ‘they’re arguing about whether maitimo killed their mother.’ the moment maglor finally managed to get through what happened after they got the silmarils to maedhros, who immediately switches from off-the-cuff self-harm to well-planned suicide attempts. the five-minute period the family hellspawn’s working theory was ‘they’re maitimo and makalaurë from an alternate universe where we’re evil’ (‘is there an evil version of me??? does he eat kids???????’ - tyelko) finwë going full bulldoze taniquetil in the background. fun times, might write some snippets in the future
but i like to think through the mechanics of this kind of time travel story too much, so i started wondering where maitimo and makalaurë, yanno, went. i quickly came to the conclusion that they probably swapped places with their evil future selves, giving me three time travel aus for the price of one! technically four but (a) i’m not sure if or with who the twins would swap and (b) if they did their alternate selves are probably having a really bad time and i don’t particularly want to think about it. the stories maitimo and makalaurë are in... they’re not necessarily any happier, but they are a lot more wtftastic
maitimo falls asleep under the light of the trees, on a relaxing retreat from the demands of court life and family-induced disasters. he wakes up in a world that’s almost completely dark, surrounded by plants he’s never seen before and wearing clothing designed for a much warmer climate, the scent of death in the air. now permanently separated from all his old problems, maitimo rapidly acquires several exciting new ones, including but not limited to:
everyone he ever loved being dead or worse
the lone possible exception, his last surviving little brother, being an almost unrecognisable blood-drenched kinslayer who hates everything in the universe especially himself
said blood-drenched kinslayer almost immediately imprinting on him like a grouchy murderous duckling
his future self having apparently wanted to kill even more people, why
getting dogpiled by like thirty dudes in full armour the instant they showed up at the army of the west’s camp to surrender
getting soul-scanned by eönw two minutes later. not fun
arafinwë pulling him into an enormous hug and then bursting into tears
the subsequent explanation as to just what happened to him and his brothers, which somehow got worse after he’d already thought they’d hit rock bottom like four separate times
proceeding to lose a staring contest with findaráto
the way everyone in camp looks at him like he’s an incredibly dangerous wild animal that might bite at any time
how if half of what arafinwë said is true he can’t even blame them, fuck, fuck
the twin half-elven(?????????????) princes he and his brother apparently kidnapped and held hostage for years, inflicting unimaginable cruelties as far as anyone knows
his first meeting with the kids happening when elrond broke into where they were holding maglor to scream at him in very loud very fast very angry sindarin for like half an hour
maglor just staring at him, eyes wide, ears pinned back, the whole time, and then trying to maul the first guard who mocked him for it
getting saddled with kinslayer containment duties in the aftermath of that whole incident
elrond punching him in the collarbone when he tried to apologise, shouting ‘you weren’t there, don’t you dare try to tell me what it was like’
elros’ visible half second of pure terror after the blow hit home
elros then using recognisable techniques from maitimo’s debate team circuit during a speech to the edain
like, clearly some shit did happen, but it’s obviously not what the local leadership’s afraid of
this sour-faced scar-covered warrior slipping out of the shadows in an unpopulated part of camp, kneeling before him, intoning ‘the swords of the host remain at your disposal my lord’ and then immediately vanishing
he didn’t recognise them until after they’d left but they were definitely one of his philosophy club friends, what even
just generally having woken up in a future a thousand times worse than his darkest nightmares
his natural instinct is to try and fix things, but how?? what’s even left to fix????
maglor sometimes goes into these unhinged desperate spiralling rambles directed at the older brother who exists in his head rather than the one in front of his eyes. whatever’s left of maitimo’s biggest little brother is clearly in so much pain
all the things he’s trying extremely hard not to think about because if he slows down enough to he’s pretty sure he’ll collapse
all the people he’s never met who hate him for pretty understandable reasons and whose social structure he now has to learn to have any hope of making it out of All This
the edain’s collective insistence on calling him pasthros
curufinwë isn’t even a hundred how does he have a kid
makalaurë, on the other hand, wakes up on a beach beneath a giant glowing orb. finding himself in a land so much barer than what he knows, among people whose souls don’t even work like his, his initial working theory is he’s been abducted by aliens
#silmarillion#my terrible fic#maedhros#maglor#elrond#elros#house of feanor#suicide ///#self harm ///#or in other words#late stage feanorians#other mental images include:#nelyo getting stupidly drunk with a bunch of edain enablers#random human fisherman: better not go out to the shore by night. there's a wandering spirit that sings of death and devours souls#kano: wow. you got a lot of those around here or#nelyo and kano glowing like beacons (they were just in the treelight after all) and constantly being surrounded by curious humans#nelyo talking the elro twins into talking to earendil while they still have a chance#galadriel: how dare you show your face around here kinslayer!!!#kano: ... wait are you artanis#he subsequently meets elrond and then serves as a sounding board for elrond's maglor issues#elrond: you know you act a lot like he did when he was blatantly faking being happy#kano: ... WELP#honestly i do feel like nelyo hangs out more with the edain than the other elves#for fun at least. he is bodily dragging mags into lorien he's never going to see these people again ever#as for the political situation... bless him he's trying#idk how all these aus interact i suspect there's divergent timelines involved#one last image:#seeing as how if he continues how he is everyone and everything he's ever loved will burn and die#feanaro steels himself up for the impossible#making up with nolofinwe
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BnHA Chapter 296: Ngl, This One Pissed Me Off
Previously on BnHA: Deku was all, “p.s. I actually activated yet another quirk several chapters ago when Kacchan got stabbed.” Compress was all, “[gets captured and passes out].” Spinner was all “[rifles through Tomura’s pockets and slaps a random Charbroiled Hand onto his friend’s unconscious face].” Tomura was all, “SOMEHOW THAT ACTUALLY WORKED” and woke up again, except it wasn’t really him, it was everyone’s favorite Final Villain, AFO. AFO was all, “time to escape finally” and summoned a bunch of Noumu and Absconded with Spinner and the DabiMarble in tow. Skeptic was all, “Horikoshi forgot I existed, but I’m actually Absconding in marble-form as well.” Deku was all, “ATTENTION WORLD, I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT I OFFICIALLY WANT TO SAVE SHIGARAKI TOMURA.” And then the arc just sort of ended lol.
Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all, “but when you think about it, do we really need literally any female teachers at U.A. at all?” and for whatever reason doesn’t stop to wait for an answer. Midnight, who absolutely did not need to die, Dies, and I’m pissed about it. Ochako wanders the ruins of Jakku for what feels like hours, rescuing small children while her adult hero compatriots fall to pieces around her, because apparently the U.A. kids really are the only people who have their shit together. The citizens of Japan are all “damn that’s wild, wonder how fucked we are now,” but are actually super casual and chill about it which is oddly realistic. The chapter ends with AFO in Tartarus being all “lol time for the prison break arc,” without giving us so much as a chance to catch our breath, like holy shit. Are we on the clock or something now, goddamn.
lmao it’s like 7pm on a Sunday night and this is out already. this is like the worst possible timing lol. there goes my nice, relaxed evening. unless of course this turns out to be a nice, restful, soothing chapter, as chapters coming on the heels of traumatic, earth-shattering battles so often are. yeah, break out the Pina Colada song and the little drink umbrellas, I got a good feeling about this one
(ETA: I mean, I was obviously being sarcastic here but damn, Horikoshi.)
-- fff why did I laugh
it’s the crumbling city ruins in the background that really does it, I think. JUST LOOK AT THIS MESS THAT YOU HAVE MADE, EVERYONE. FOR SHAME
also, the title is dramatic af and I am so fucking excited you guys, like holy shit. BnHA’s In-Between arcs have always been my favorite part of the series, because it’s when all the character development and angst and/or catharsis happens. just, those little breathing spaces in between the action when everyone gathers to recuperate and compartmentalize their fresh new traumas lmao. bring on that angst!! but also, let’s please have some Comfort to offset all of this Hurt too, please and thanks
blah blah blah so the survivors were evacuated, good good, can you actually show us though?
AHHHHHHH
PIXIE BOB SURVIVED!!!! WASH IS STILL ALIVE LMAO HOW. THIRTEEN’S FACE, OMG SHOULD I LOOK AWAY. IS IT LIKE MANDALORIAN RULES. IDK HOW IT WORKS
HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY ALIVE. LOLS ANYWAY I’M HERE FOR IT. FEEL FREE NOT TO KILL ANYONE ELSE HERE HORIKOSHI, I THINK WE’RE GOOD
(ETA: it’s like talking to a brick wall.)
oh my god do we really need exposition about how the heroes tried to stop TomurAFO from escaping and OF COURSE failed completely because they suck lmao. oh my god I am shocked, that is such shocking news
wow they only managed to defeat three of the Noumus. holy shit. again, all of the Not-Kid Heroes are only slightly more useful than cardboard cutouts of heroes at this point, MORE AT ELEVEN
so Tomura may have lost the PLF, but he still more or less has an army then, huh. I really don’t know how anyone could expect a timeskip with that threat looming over everyone’s heads
oh nvm lol there are only seven Noumus left. wait so you’re telling me there were only ten Nearly High Ends in that last chapter?? felt more like fifty but whatever lol I’ll take your word for it
COMPRESS YAY YOU’RE ALIVE TOO
MAYBE THEY CAN EVEN REATTACH HIS ASS. I’M SERIOUS LOL, BECAUSE HE STILL HAS IT, DOESN’T HE? OR IF NOT, THEY CAN REBUILD HIM WITH A PROSTHETIC ASS. he’ll be more powerful than ever
WHAAAAAAT YEAH BOIIIII
WOOO, EDGESHOT, WOOOOO. THAT’S HIS WAY OF THE NINJA
YEAHHHHH SUCK IT, PLF
(ETA: for the record I don’t think Cementoss is dead here, just badly wounded. if he had died he would have been included in the forthcoming In Memoriam page along with the others.)
GET BENT LOL. TRUMPET I FOR REAL FORGOT YOU EVEN EXISTED. I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANY OF YOU LOSERS AGAIN PLEASE. ONLY INTERESTING CHARACTERS MAY PROCEED PAST THIS POINT
dsflksaldkh;l
that’s... holy shit. that’s a bigass mansion, that’s what that is. also so does this mean there are still eighty thousand PLF members still at large, because that’s a plot line I very much do not care about in any way whatsoever lol. can’t we just retcon to say that Re-Destro was exaggerating? I mean hell, a CEO criminal pulling some Enron-type bullshit is pretty believable, isn’t it? those poor bamboozled shareholders
“makeste, here’s an idea, what if you scrolled down to read the rest of the page” lol gtfo of here with your logic and your sense
well those 132 people have made it onto my enemies list, but at least it sounds like they more or less took care of the rest. good riddance
and Toga escaped, as we knew already, and is now on the lam. hopefully she reunites with the League again at some point. although her doing her own thing could also be very interesting. idk what I want lol
anyway so there’s another big panel showing how fucked up the city is, just in case it hadn’t already been hammered into our skulls yet. there’s a car dangling off a roof somehow. how does that even happen. did Machia pick it up and put it there or
NOOO OMG RANDOM SMALL CHILDREN IN PERIL WHAT IS THIS
OCHAKO PLEASE SAVE THEM OMG
“if it falls on me, I want you to have my Endeavor pouch” OH MY STARS. HIS MOST PRECIOUS POSSESSION. NO MY CHILD YOU CAN’T GIVE UP HOPE YET
LMAO
“FOR THE LAST TIME NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR DUSTY-ASS POUCH, KYLE” fffff these children are dying and I am cracking up so hard my eyes are tearing up what is wrong with me
YAY THEY SAVED THEM
but listen. not that I don’t love seeing the girls kick ass, because you know I do. but I also really, REALLY need to know what’s going down with the Musketeers, and I’m not looking forward to waiting three whole weeks for that so please Horikoshi. please hurry this along so we can get to them
goddamn it Tsuyu is saying she’ll take the boy to the shelter to get first aid, and I was all “okay great because that’s probably where Kacchan and the others are too”, but now someone else is shouting for help and Ochako’s all “I’ll go” and it’s like OKAY BUT PLEASE? this chapter is already more than half over omfg. ‘bout to start wringing some hands here
oh my god
is this Toga again??? WHAT THE HELL, THIS CREEPYASS HALF-DEAD DUDE BETTER BE LEADING UP TO SOMETHING INTERESTING, I AM REALLY GETTING IMPATIENT
OR, I GUESS, WE COULD DO THIS INSTEAD
“SO AS IT TURNS OUT, NOT EVERY CHARACTER WHO NEEDS HELP SAVING THEIR SPOUSE FROM FALLEN RUBBLE IS ACTUALLY TOGA IN DISGUISE” HUH, OKAY. DULY NOTED. FILED AWAY FOR FUTURE REFERENCE
but fucking... okay, look. I love Ochako, I do. but I like her a whole lot more when she’s interacting with other characters I actually care about, as opposed to running around in the rubble rescuing random people while the fate of my other children is still up in the air. like okay, I get it, shit’s bad, now if you don’t mind we really don’t have to spend all day here though
...anyways but nope, we’re still staying with her. she’s bouncing around rescuing all of these other people. omg. I literally have no patience here at all and it’s terrible, I know, but oh my god
omg finally something interesting is happening!!
look at that, an adult hero standing around being useless while the kids are busy getting shit done. why is this becoming a recurring theme
MY DUDE, THIS IS SERIOUSLY NOT THE TIME THOUGH
I GET THAT IT’S OVERWHELMING AND THAT YOU’RE TRAUMATIZED AND SHIT, BUT GUESS WHAT, SO IS EVERYONE ELSE. THAT’S WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR. JUST LOOK AT OCHAKO! SHE’S SO EXHAUSTED HER HAIR HAS EVEN LOST ITS FLOOF, AND YET SHE’S STILL OUT HERE DOING HER BEST. ONE SAVE AT A TIME MY MAN. GET IT DONE. LITERALLY A SMALL CHILD IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT CALLING FOR THEIR MOMMY AND YOU’RE JUST STANDING THERE ALL “WAHH IT’S TOO MUCH” LIKE COULD YOU PLEASE POSTPONE YOUR CRISIS UNTIL AFTER YOU SAVE THEM PLEASE
OH MY GOD
MAYBE YOU SHOULD!! oh my god I really cannot, like wow. oh no I actually have to save people and do my job, god forbid. jesus christ, at least the other heroes tried. but Moping Hero: Bellyache here is just throwing in the towel and fuck everyone who still needs his help I guess. you are like the anti-Deku my dude
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NO OH FUCK
THAT’S MIDNIGHT’S HAND OH FU -- SHE BETTER NOT -- HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD --
I’M GONNA LOSE IT I REALLY AM!!!!
HOLY SHIT HOW INTENSE OF A RAGE DO I NEED TO BRACE MYSELF TO BE FEELING HERE. THIS CHAPTER WAS ALREADY TRENDING TOWARDS DISAPPOINTMENT, DO WE REALLY NEED TO GO AND COMPOUND THAT
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
you’re telling me Tomura wasn’t brought back by that electric shock, but by his “fuck you” attitude? why are you explaining this to us now, again??
......
HEY, SO UM, FUCK ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS, THOUGH. (: OH MAN. OHHHHHH MAN. I HAVE... I HAVE GOT A LOT OF WORDS FOR THIS AND HERE ARE SOME OF THEM
FUCK
THINGS THAT SHOULD BE IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO “SOME BULLSHIT”: THIS
FUCK
GET FUCKED HORIKOSHI
AND ALSO PLEASE FUCK RIGHT OFF!!
AND SERIOUSLY THOUGH FUCK YOU
NO BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THOUGH!! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED OFF ANYONE. LITERALLY ANY CHARACTER. YOU HAD TWELVE FEMALE PROS. TWELVE. YOU COULD HAVE MADE MORE OF THEM. PROBABLY, IF THERE ACTUALLY WERE SUPERHEROES IN REAL LIFE, THERE WOULD BE MORE THAN TWELVE OF THEM IN AN ENTIRE NATION. BUT NO, YOU WERE ALL “TWELVE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH.” AND THEN WHEN IT CAME TIME TO KILL PEOPLE OFF, YOU WERE ALL “WELL ALL RIGHT THEN, LET’S SEE, I PICK... THESE 18 RANDOM SIDE CHARACTERS WITH LITTLE TO NO DIALOGUE, PLUS THE ONE SINGLE FEMALE U.A. STAFF MEMBER WE ACTUALLY HAD. YEAH THAT OUGHTA DO IT”
AND BY THE WAY, HORIKOSHI, I PICKED SOMETHING UP FOR YOU ON MY WAY HOME, HERE IT IS, ┌П┐(・＿・) do you like it it was on sale. I saw it and was like, “Horikoshi would really like that.” so there you go. sorry it wasn’t gift-wrapped
p.s. I hope y’all can tell that that’s supposed to be a middle finger and not... something else lmao. er. anyway
(ETA: so I got a few asks from people who were really put off by this part of the reaction post, and so I’m just adding an extra note here to make it clear that I do not actually wish harm on Horikoshi in any way or even particularly dislike him. I wasn’t happy about Midnight’s death and I wanted to convey that, and so I went with my usual LOUD CAPSLOCK REACTION tone, but looking back on it I can see that it’s kind of a lot, lol.
so just to be clear, the “fuck you” stuff is almost entirely tongue-in-cheek. that’s on me, I forget sometimes that there are people who share these sentiments unironically and so I didn’t think to make sure my intended meaning here was clear. anyways, killing Midnight was still a really problematic decision for numerous reasons but it is what it is. Horikoshi is not perfect, the story isn’t perfect, and I’m not gonna pretend like it is, but again just to be clear, I don’t harbor any actual ill will toward Horikoshi here.)
shit. and wow this man really went and killed off fucking Mystic too on top of that. have you ever seen a character fail so spectacularly at living up to their hype. r.i.p. Mystic you were like the Star Wars sequel of characters
(ETA: I have no fucking idea why I keep thinking Majestic’s name is Mystic lol. rest in peace you old scarecrowy bastard.)
and poor Momo, though. fuck. lost two mentors in a single day. and do not even get me started on Aizawa holy shit
so now we’re cutting to some random townspeople who are gossiping about the Todoroki drama. this is actually interesting in spite of my newfound determination to hate this chapter lol
ngl I am kind of heartened to see that not everyone fell for Dabi’s bs hook line and sinker though. Jeanist returning from the dead literally two seconds after Dabi was all “I SWEAR ON MY HONOR AS A VILLAIN THAT HAWKS MURDERED HIM” probably helped with that a bit! but there will doubtless be many other people who do believe him, or are at least still inclined to side-eye the heroes in general either way given how much they sucked in this arc. very, very interesting
so it seems though that even more than the whole Endeavor reveal, at the end of the day it’s going to be the heroes failing to live up to their end of the “put your faith in us and let us use our quirks and in return we’ll protect everyone and keep them safe” implied social contract that’s going to have the biggest impact on people’s opinions moving forward. basically this was always going to be a disaster no matter what
OH MY GOD FINALLY AHHHHH
Horikoshi really tapped into some of the real-life political energy of the past few years huh. Fuck Him Still for killing off Midnight, but I will admit that so far this is hella intriguing and I am really, really curious to see where things go from here
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE KIDS FROM THE BABYSITTING ARC
“FIVE PEEPEE MAN WOULDN’T LIE TO US” YES CHILDREN YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. at least the little ones still have faith
UM
( •̀ へ •́ )
that’s great. that’s really keen. all we need right now, amirite
GOOD FOR YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT
let’s just wait for him to explain what he feels. you know he likes to drag it out
is that Dabi crouched down there next to Spinner? looks like they got him out of the marble after all. but why has his hair changed colors again lol what
anyways. your turn to what??
:’) excuse me what
hahahaha are you fucking kidding me. and that’s where we’re going to end the chapter then. lol okay
so let’s recap. Midnight died. we spent ten hours watching Ochako dig people out of rubble for no apparent reason and were then introduced to my new least favorite character, and because Ochako is so nice she didn’t even punch him in the face even though she really should have. we did not get any Kacchan or Shouto. we got one panel of Deku, who is Finally Asleep. and the chapter ended with AFO ordering his Noumus to go set free, AND I QUOTE, HIS “MAIN BODY.” and now I gotta wait an entire week for Caleb’s translation to confirm that last part. omg
but it sounds like a prison break is imminent, which is very, very interesting. ...and actually, is it weird that I’m actually rooting for it to be a success? I have no idea what this guy is planning, but I do know that as long as the main part of his soul is still residing in Tomura’s body, Tomura’s chance of surviving the series is close to zero. and villain though he may be, I’m still rooting for his redemption (nice to have Deku on my side now too), and so yeah. so like if AFO feels like using some latent Exorcism Quirk or something that he’s been saving for just such an occasion, be my guest lol
meanwhile this doesn’t bode well for All Might though. or anyone else aside from Tomura, really. shiiiit
anyway. [slaps roof of chapter] this baby can fit so much bullshit in it
#bnha 296#midnight (bnha)#uraraka ochako#all for one#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha#sorry this took so long to post lol#I really need to learn to add an extra 2-3 hours to any time-sensitive estimates I make#anyways
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If you were church, I'd get on my knees [Stolitz Week Day 4 - Wedding]
Ao3 Link
Event Info Link
The paparazzi are everywhere. They sit in the trees, in the windows of neighboring buildings, in the cars on the adjacent streets, some have even made their way onto the premises. They’ve been taking pictures of everything all morning. Of the seating area, the flower arrangements, the early guests, even the waiters. They’re prepared to fill the tabloids with the most scandalous wedding in hell. A Prince and an imp. The highest and the lowest. It’s gossip pages simply filling themselves.
They’re prepared for everything. Except for the ceremony not happening in the elaborately-staged venue. They will sit there for hours until dawn comes and there’s still nobody there, except the guests and waiters who have been roaming the place since the morning. “We’ve been duped,” someone will say eventually but nobody will have any idea what to do next.
Sometime in the afternoon, the real wedding congregation is happening in the I.M.P headquarters, with only a handful of people and a private wedding photographer. Everything is decorated in the crispiest shade of white they could find. It’s smaller and simpler than the fake venue they’ve coordinated, but it’s still stunning and gorgeous and perfect, and Stolas is slowly losing his mind in his little pre-room where Millie and Octavia are doing their best to keep him together. He picks at his white suit, wrings his hands and runs to the mirror every single minute to check himself.
“You need to calm down,” Via says, slightly exasperated considering Stolas hasn’t exactly been calm in hours, “Everything’s going to be fine.”
“What if it isn’t? What if the paparazzi come here? What if they find out? What if Blitz decides he doesn’t want to marry me after all?”
“Blitz is…” Millie says while fine-tuning her own hair, “Not gonna lie, I didn’t think he’d ever marry. Didn’t seem like the type. But he’s decided to marry you and that’s something, right. Plus, you’ve gotten married before, you know how it works.”
“That was so long ago, I scarcely remember.”
“The point is there’s no reason to be nervous, everything is going to run smoothly.” Millie gives him a hearty pat on the back.
“Weren’t you nervous when you and Moxxie married?”
“Oh, I wasn’t, Moxxie almost lost it, though. But do you know what I told him?”
“What?”
“That marriage isn’t that big a deal. We love each other before the big party and we’ll love each other after the big party, just with more tax benefits.”
“That’s not very romantic…” Via remarks from across the room.
“It’s true, though, isn’t it?” Millie shrugs. “You’re just having a big party to celebrate how much you love each other. And to get tax benefits.”
“Maybe.”
“So, don’t worry about it! Also, there’s no paparazzi, they’re still swarming the fake venue, Moxxie has CCTV on them.”
“Thank you, for organizing this whole thing, I just… Didn’t want to do this with the press present. It’s… I don’t know, it feels less special when everyone gets to watch, you know?”
“No problem, and now get out there and marry my boss!”
Stolas takes a deep breath and his daughter by his hand and walks out of the room.
He walks in with Blitz already waiting in bated breath, wearing a matching white suit that makes him look just obscenely handsome and when their eyes finally meet, it’s as though all worries fall off him in an instant. It’s going to be fine, Stolas thinks, maybe all of it is going to be fine. Forever.
“You look great,” he says shyly and takes both of Blitz’ hands.
“You are absolutely smoking hot,” Blitz responds. Stolas chuckles.
Next to them, Loona, their impromptu officiator, clears her throat to get their attention. “So, uhm, again, can someone explain to me why we’re doing this all proper and pseudo-Christian??”
“Because I like to spite the establishment which I’m marrying into. Also, Christian weddings have a very good aesthetic, we’ve been over this, now ask us for our vows, Loonie,” Blitz replies sharply.
“Okay, sure, uhm, vows please?”
Stolas breathes in deeply. “Blitz, when you came into my life, I never could have imagined standing here with you now. You were loud, abrasive, vulgar and… Well, you still are all of these things, but now I love you for it. Now I want to listen to talk about nothing and rant about your least favorite fruit all day. I want to hear your voice from morning to evening and I won’t tire of it. When I met you… I thought you would be nothing but a tiny speck on my night sky. Seen once, but quickly forgotten. But now I know you’re the brightest star of them all, always leading my way. I love you and I wish to always find my way to you.”
There is some sniffling in the room, though someone is probably also throwing up.
“Wow, okay. Dad, would you like to go next?” Loona says, then, her voice shaking just the tiniest bit.
Blitz looks around and takes a deep breath. “I’ve never been lucky with relationships before, they were… Yeah, they were all pretty terrible. And I didn’t even plan on having one with you for a long time, frankly. But… You know, sometimes you don’t really have a choice. You don’t want to fall in love with the weird bird prince. You just want to get his book and you have sex with him to do, but… It becomes more than that and that’s why we’re here now. Because I love you, even though it took me a long time to accept that. And I can’t wait to be married to you and rail you in the Hellton Hotel honeymoon suite.”
There’s an uncomfortable silence for a moment. A silent, disturbed “What?” comes from Octavia.
“What?! Do you think I’m not gonna fuck my husband harder than ever before in our wedding night? Fucking prudes.”
Loona clears her throat again. “So, uhm, right. Stolas, do you wish to take Blitz over here as your husband?”
“Yes, of course I do!”
“Great. Dad. Blitz. whatever. Do you wish to take Stolas here as your husband?”
“Hell yeah, let’s go!”
“Good, then blah blah something something by the power of whatever is going on here, I pronounce you two married. But please wait until after the party with whatever you two want to do to each other…”
“And…?” Blitz says.
“Oh, right, yeah. You may now kiss. As if you need my permission for that. ...Wait, we didn’t even do the thing with the rings yet!”
But they’re already kissing. And so they share this, their first kiss as husbands, it feels exactly the same as always in the best way possible. They’ve kissed before, hundreds upon thousands of times, and this time is no different, it’s an intuitive motion, a well-practiced one, carried out with pure trust and comfort.
And yet, it absolutely is different because that kiss now carries a promise. A promise for many, many years of more kisses, years of just them, together.
The party goes into the dead of night, people dancing and drinking all in celebration of their love, it’s an almost surreal concept. Octavia gets drunk for the first time and that’s a whole piece of work, but Loona is there for her, them being sisters now and all.
But in the Hellton Hotel honeymoon suite they’ve booked for the night, nothing much actually happens because they’re drunk and tired and exhausted, so all they do is cuddle up against each other in the gratuitous pink bed and fall asleep soundly, secure in the knowledge that there’s more than enough time for everything else during the rest of their lives.
The next day, the tabloids will be filled with only one picture, the one their own wedding photographer made, the one they actually want the world to see on their own terms. It shows them, in their matching white suits, Stolas with one hand on Blitz’ hips and a content smile on his face while Blitz has his tongue out and gives the camera the middle finger.
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I never understand this need to infantilize Gwyn and the basis for doing it is so ??? No foot and no head.
Elain is young and not old with a thousand experiences, what exactly is it like to be ready and mature to have a relationship for these people?
In my view Elain is not ready to jump into a serious relationship without first meeting.
About Gwyn, I think I see more different but at the same time I also think that jumping into a serious relationship I don't agree either.
But Gwyn knows who she is and what she wants, maybe she's at the stage of overcoming her past and having everything she deserves and one day she thought she couldn't, like having a sexual relationship with someone even if it's not something serious.
If I keep wanting to infantize someone by shipp, then I support Gwyn and Elain traveling the world alone.
I think my English text was not perfect, but I think you will understand
Oh I know exactly why they do it - Gwyn is threatening to their ship and so they need to come up with any possible reason, even reasons that have already been proven false, to explain why they think gwynriel won't happen.
The most annoying part to me is that they have to bring the readers into it. "The acotar readers aren't mature" "the acotar readers are more YA readers" "the acotar readers don't understand blah blah blah"
Excuse me???? I walk into a classroom every weekday full of people who don't know half of what I know, and I don't treat them condescendingly in the way people in this fandom treat each other.
Just explain what you think and be done with it, but don't try to act like you can speak for all readers and treat them like complete fucking idiots while doing so. (Not you anon.) (tbh y'all probably know who I mean and I have run out of fucks, unfortunately.)
Elain is really naive, but I'm not gonna be out here saying she can only have a certain kind of sex or that the readers will only accept her having a certain kind of sex. WTF kind of argument is that??? But somehow it's acceptable when it's Gwyn, because she *checks notes* has been sexually assaulted, even though *checks other notes* these same people are saying we shouldn't reduce her character to her SA when getting upset at the idea she would be evil.
It's okay for them to talk about Gwyn's SA and use it as an excuse to ship or not ship something, but when other people say "hey don't talk about SA survivors like that please because you are perpetuating harmful stereotypes", somehow we are the ones essentializing her character to that one (1) thing that has happened to her. We aren't the ones out here deadass forgetting that she is Carynthian and a Valkyrie and curious about sex 💀
Neither Gwyn nor Elain are ready to be in a serious relationship on page one of whatever books they feature in. But that's also the point of romance! To see that process happening! No one expects them to hop into bed with anyone, nor wants them to. Not in canon.
Also I'm sorry, but I keep getting astounded at how people seem to have completely forgotten the first three books. Rhys is a sexual assault survivor. SJM was aware of that and addressed it the first time he and Feyre had sex. Why would Gwyn be any different???
I totally understood you! Sorry I used your ask to rant a bit 🤣
#gwynriel#elucien#gwyneth berdara#acotar: gwyn#ask#anon#i'm getting so annoyed#the hypocrisy#it's transparent
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hero of many, princess of none
in which Bakugou and Kirishima, trying to attempt a quest, meet a strange young woman.
for @reddriot
Life in the borderlands was not easy.
It was long and toiling, with the twin suns making the days hot and the years long. The sea of sand that stretched across half of the planet could turn into tundra in a day. There used to be kingdoms built on top of kingdoms on top of kingdoms, but they were all sent to dust and to pain.
And alone survived a girl.
She was a child. She alone survived the ruin of a thousand empires, waiting above the sand and snow. She alone was the last heir of a kingdom that never was. Even when the wind ripped off the skin of lesser men, she did not die.
The little princess walked in a state between heartbreak and duty. Why did it happen this way? Why her? Every question was raised. Every god heard a plea. But none answered.
So, the little princess wandered the borderlands, lonely and divine. And through the years, she grew, with skin like armour and eyes like a stone. She could look out at the great dunes like a hawk and see a single creature. She was armed to the bone, no inch of her left open. She was weary, but stood for those that had no king or knight to protect them. Those that abused what they had were forced to face her dark fury. She became the Mirrored Darkryder, for the fleeting steps in the night that forced the hand of her enemies and the mirages that she seemed to leave in her wake.
She was the hero of many, and princess of none.
Good inns were rare.
Bakugou Katsuki sat at the bar of an inn, with his best friend and dragon shifter Kirishima. They were off on some quest that his mother made him do, after a day of barking at each other, and was told not to come home until it was done. It was something about a bear, blah blah blah, Bakugou really didn’t care. He just wanted to get it over with so he could go back to fighting the enemies of his people and essentially becoming a war hero. But here he was. In an inn, trying to figure out where said bear was.
Kirishima was chatting happily with the bartender and no less than three patrons, waving his hands about and laughing freely. Bakugou felt sour. He wanted to kick everyone in the room and make them shut up. But alas, he needed information, and inns were the only place to get it.
“Hey, dumbass.” Bakugou hissed, nudging Kirishima’s shin with his foot. “Ask them about the bear.”
“Oh!” Kirishima looked at Bakugou with a huge grin. “I already did! They said there is no bear like that.”
“What?!” Bakugou barked, rising from his seat, fury welling up in him. “What the hell do you mean?!”
“Apparently there’s no bears around here.” Kirishima shrugged. “Only wolves.”
“That doesn’t make any fuckin’ sense!” Bakugou looked at the bartender, gritting his teeth and almost frothing at the mouth. “We’re looking for the White Bear!”
“White Bear?” The bartender winced, and Bakugou realised the whole bar started going quiet. The conversations went null, all eyes on them.
“White Bear…” One of the young ladies said in a hushed whisper. “He’s our lord.”
“A thief,” An older man hissed, gripping the table under his worn hands. “He steals our crops, our women, our animals. Our way of life.”
“You won’t have to worry about him.” The bartender leaned back, beginning to wipe down a glass. “He’s being taken care of.”
“What?” Kirishima leaned in, curious. “What do you mean?”
“The Mirror Darkryder,” The girl whispered with reverence. Heads bowed down, and the candles in the room seemed to flicker. “She acts for the people. We asked…”
“She will save us.” A youth, maybe Bakugou’s age, rose with a justice-ridden look. Kirishima seemed wholly into the mysterious saviour thing the village had going on, but Bakugou scoffed.
“What, you hired an assassin?”
“She’s no assassin.” The bartender hummed. “Some say she was born out of the sands of the Borderlands. Others think she’s some sort of...god. I dunno. But she’s the protector of the people. If someone sends a messenger into the Tenebris Woodland with a plea for help, the plea will be answered.”
“We hope that the White Bear will be better, in some way.” The girl sighed, having the last word. “In death, or in life.”
Bakugou felt his blood chill, and he turned to Kirishima. He seemed almost awestruck, with a gaping mouth and wide eyes. There was a moment of pure reverence before a traveller walked through the door, breaking the tension. It was raining like hell outside, and when the figure walked in, they were soaked through. A certain air made them feel almost dangerous, like a plague in human form. They seemed weary, sighing before plopping into a chair next to Bakugou. The inn went back to its loud state and the lights went bright again as if nothing had happened at all. Kirishima looked around in a bit of confusion, raising his eyebrow.
“Huh? That was weird.”
“How can I help you, stranger?” The bartender talked over Kirishima, leaning over to the traveller. They lowered their hood with a tired sigh, shaking their head to reveal a young woman. She was beautiful, even in her exhaustion, and the bartender swallowed a bit. “Miss?”
“Right, uh...whatever is filling.”
“Of course.” The bartender left to go get something, leaving her with Bakugou and Kirishima. He leaned over Bakugou to give the traveller a toothy grin.
“Hi there! Are you visiting?”
“Hm?” She looked at him with a surprised glance. “Oh, yes. I’m just passing through.”
“That’s awesome! So are we!” Kirishima skedaddled around Bakugou to squeeze between the two of them. “What’s your name?”
“I’m YN.” She smiled softly, tilting her head. “And you?”
“This is my bro, Bakugou!” Before Bakugou could protest, he was tucked under Kirishima’s overenthusiastic arm and noogied.
“Shut the fuck up! Don’t you fuckin-!”
“He’s my best friend!” Kirishima grinned, letting go of Bakugou. “And I’m Kirishima. Dragon shifter extraordinaire!”
“Don’t just tell anyone that-!”
“Neat!” YN grinned, lacing her hands. “I’ve only met a handful of dragon shifters before.”
“Wait! You’ve met any at all?!”
“Why, yes!” She nodded fervently, giddy. She seemed like a total sweetheart, as opposed to the initial aura of “don’t interact or else I’ll kill you”. Her eyes seemed to sparkle in the candlelight, and when she leaned into her hand, her cheek was squished. There was a kind glow about her, and Bakugou felt his unease slowly melt away.
“When?” His words were less suspicious, and more inquisitive. “Was it with the nomads?”
“Oh, no.” YN shook her head happily. “It was in the mountains, a small family of them. The children were such small things! Their scales hadn’t even shed yet.”
“Oh!” Kirishima had a hand over his heart, seeming almost faint at the idea. “That’s so cute! Bro, bro, remember when we were kids?!”
“Fuck off,” Bakugou rolled his eyes, peeling away from Kirishima’s side in embarrassment. “I don’t fuckin remember.”
“C’mon, you still have my scales on your armour!”
“Shut up!”
YN started laughing, and the sound was whole. It was peace, welcome changes, the twin suns through the green trees. Both Bakugou and Kirishima paused, leaning in and going quiet to listen. It wasn’t like bells in the noise, but in the motion; pealing, tumbling, ringing everywhere. When she laughed, the whole world stopped to listen. And the two stared.
“So.” Bakugou broke the silence as soon as she stopped, not wanting for the conversation to go dead yet. “What are you in town for?”
YN tilted her head again, and pursed her lips. She seemed to be in thought for a second, before nodding.
“I’ve been taking odd jobs through the Borderlands and the Meseta. The sort of stuff people wouldn’t do...normally.”
“Like…?” Kirishima paused, trying to make sense of it. “Like...yanno…”
“Oh! No! Not like that!” YN waved her hands, flushed before taking a sip of her drink. “Not like that.”
“Then what is it?” Bakugou frowned. Before he got his answer, there was a yell from outside, and everyone looked towards the door. YN seemed to have a dark sparkle in her eye.“Neither of you are grossed out by blood, right?”
“Huh? No. Why?”YN rose from her seat as people began pouring outside, and Bakugou watched her go with a confused scowl.
“What the fuck was that about?” Bakugou got up to leave and Kirishima followed, a cautious and curious glance in his eyes. They both stepped out of the inn, and saw everyone crowding the town square. There were double the people in the bar, and when Kirishima saw what everyone was looking at, he recoiled and grabbed Bakugou’s arm. In the middle of the town square was an elaborate sacrificial stand, with several spears placed in a circle. The two longest were in the centre, on a pyre that burned bright into the night. One had a long, dark cloak on it, which miraculously hadn’t caught fire yet and waved in the thick night wind. The other was the head of a grisly young man, with his eyes wide with fear and tongue lolling out. He still had colour in his face, but the blood was trailing down the spear and onto the pyre. It was a morbid sight, but villagers were dancing around it in joy.
“He’s dead! The White Bear is dead!”
“She did it!”
Though the sight was one to behold, Bakugou and Kirishima both slowly relaxed once they realised that their work was done for them. Bakugou glanced over to see YN looking at the pyre with a satisfied look.
“Well, they’re happy.” She crossed her arms, looking at them out of the corner of her eye. Bakugou noticed that when her black cloak moved, it showed a whole set of weapons around her waist and thighs. One had blood on the handle; an embellished dagger with a white bear motif.
“It was you,” Kirishima whispered, clearly reaching the same conclusion as Bakugou.
“Maybe it was.” YN shrugged.
“You took his own weapon?” Bakugou couldn’t help but be impressed.
“I never said that.” Despite her refusing to answer, it seemed more out of obligation to keep her ‘identity’ a secret, as opposed to actually lying to them.
“Wow.” Kirishima looked at YN with wide eyes. “So you...what, you go around saving people?”
“Me?” YN turned back to the pyre, a smile on her face as she watched it burn. “I would never. That’s made for people who have far too much free time on their hands.”
Bakugou scoffed. “Like the Mirrored what’s-her-nuts.”
“Exactly.” YN sounded both ready to burst in laughter, and posh at the same time. “Like the Mirrored what’s-her-nuts.”
“Where will you go?” Kirishima’s voice was laced with concern.
“Oh, I don’t know. Wherever the sand and the dirt takes me, I suppose. Wherever the Mirrored Darkryder is needed most.” YN turned with a flourish, her cape flicking behind her as she slowly walked into the woods, fading into the dark with what felt like too sudden of an exit. Bakugou looked at Kirishima.
“Do you think we’ll ever see her again?” Kirishima sighed, eyes wide and looking at where she seemed to become shadow.
“No.” Bakugou shook his head, feeling as though the moment was something monumental.
“I don’t think we will.”
#bakugou x reader#kirishima x reader#bakugou x reader x kirishima#fantasy au#not your mother's bnha fantasy au#tw death#tw decapitation#tw blood#bnha x reader#fantasy
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Helpless *Part 4*
Well, this is where I decided to go! LoL. Let me know what ya’ll think....
Masterlist
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 5
@wanniiieeee
@chasingeverybreakingwave
@dumauier
@word-scribbless
“Why am I like this?!” You yelled to no one in particular in the kitchen.
“The doctors can’t explain it,” Arianna came from behind you, giving you a wink.
“Ha, Ha ha.” You laughed sarcastically. “Seriously, I did it AGAIN,”
“Your little ‘Rain Man’ routine? Aw honey…” Ari made a fake pout face, rubbing your shoulder like a child. “Did you find out anything useful?”
“Useful….?” Your panic attack of the moment was quickly replaced with questioning.
“Well, yeah. Honey if you’re gonna hook him you need a way in,” Ari dropped off her dirty dishes and grabbed a rag, acting completely nonchalant. You blinked several times, making sure you heard her right. When she looked to you for a response, you knew you had.
“A-Are you serious Arianna?!” You screeched a little too loudly, she pulled you into her bosom in a corner of the kitchen.
“Are you serious?!” You whispered this time. “We haven’t done that since high school, when we were living in that car!”
“Right, and unless you wanna go BACK to living in that car, we’re gonna need a...helping hand,” She nodded towards the front.
“I-I can’t believe this, is THIS why you pushed this?! Was this your plan this entire time?”
“No! Of course not! I really think the little obsession you have with him is….endearing,” she put a hand to your face, but you slapped it away.
“But when I googled him last night, I figured-- I mean, why don’t we both get something out of it?” She shrugged.
“Wha--We-I--...” your brain was running faster than you could process words.
“Look what’s the big deal? You get to sleep with him, care about him, blah blah blah-- all I’m asking you to do is find a crack in that armor,”
“So you can exploit it,” you added coldly.
“Exploit’s such a dirty word Y/N, come on All I do is do some research, dig some skeletons out the closet. If they don’t want them to get out, all they have to do is, I don’t know, throw us a few thousand dollars, and boom! We’re set for another few months!”
“Except that I actually like him, Arianna. He’s a good guy, he doesn’t deserve--”
“Well if he’s such a good guy, then you won’t find anything right?”
“I...yeah, well--”
“He’s still a politician, sweetie. Don’t let the dimples fool you,” She chuckled.
“Look, I hate to rain on your little fairy tale babe I really do, but we need this,” She took your hands in hers.
“Do you remember how hard it was for us when we moved here? Not eating for days? Taking turns sleeping so no one would break into the car? Not SHOWERING?” She shook you.
“YES, okay? Yes, I get it. We need this,” you sighed.
“We need this,” she repeated, putting a finger in your face.
“ORDER UP! Y/N!!” The cook called you for Rafael’s meal.
“I--That’s his, I gotta go,” You moved past her and grabbed the plate with a towel and walked out.
---
Rafael was reading his phone when you came back and placed the steaming plate in front of him.
“Thanks,” He said half heartedly, not looking up from his phone. Well Arianna would be sorely disappointed that you’ve already fucked this up before you knew what you were doing.
“Well don’t eat it all at once,” You tried joking, failing miserably. Who said that?
Rafael glanced up at you, then the food, then you, then his phone with a chuckle as he put it away.
“You gonna make me eat alone?” he grabbed a fork and stuck it in the pasta.
“...I’m working,”
“I won’t tell if you won’t,” he winked.
You were starving, you had forgotten to eat before your shift. And the chicken parmesan looked delicious. You grabbed a fork from underneath the bar and after looking around, took a quick bite off Rafael’s plate.
“Mmmm….” you closed your eyes and licked your lips; their food was absolutely delicious, and your stingy ass boss never let you have any free meals. Finally you looked to see Rafael just beaming at you.
“What?” you scrunched your nose.
“You make these cute little noises when you eat. Like you're savoring every bite,”
“Oh my god…” You instantly swallowed the food and put the fork down.
“No no no! It’s adorable,” he assured you.
“...Well that’s what happens when you’re used to going days without food,” you replied with an embarrassed smile. “You learn to appreciate food,”
“I hear that,” Rafael nodded, continuing to eat.
“Right...the barrio,” you looked to the sky, as if whoever up there was going to absolve you of anything.
“That must’ve been really hard,” you placed your hand over the one he wasn’t using to eat, giving him the softest eyes and a comforting smile.
“I thought we were past that, camarera,” He raised an eyebrow at you.
“Right. Yeah,” You moved your hand and turned away from him, cursing at yourself silently. Arianna was wrong about this, he was too smart. Even if you WANTED to manipulate something out of him, he made you too nervous. He could see through you. Still, the thought of going without food was too scary to ignore.
“I just thought, it was nice to finally find a guy that got what it was like growing up with nothing,” you turned back to him with a sad shrug.
“You know most of the people that come in here are full of money. Always have been, always will be. Then they procreate and give their money to their spoiled little offspring who just grow up and spend it and continue the bourgeois cycle. The rich get richer, and hood rats like us just run around trying to grab the scraps they drop on the floor,” You gestured around the restaurant angrily as you talked.
"Hey, this hood rat did pretty damn good for himself, thank you," Rafael said between mouthfuls of food.
"Right. Well, let me know how that goes for you," you rolled your eyes.
"Hey," He swallowed, "If I can do it, anyone can. Believe me," looked at you with those puppy dog eyes of his.
"Right, sure," you replied sarcastically with a laugh.
"I'm serious!" This time he reached for your hand underneath the bar.
"What about your voo--science?" he asked earnestly.
"What about it?" you raised an eyebrow.
"What if I could do something about it?" He asked, sincerely. Oh God, he was being so sweet.
"B-But I didn't win the game, we're tied," You pointed out, making him sit back and chuckle.
"....So we are," he licked his lips with a smirk.
"Alright then, ask me one more. But NOTHING about family, comprende?"
"Fine by me, I've got one already," you smirked.
"Hit me,"
"Do you want to sleep with Liv?"
His smiled faded to a shocked stare. You saw the thought of lying go through his mind, but apparently he was learning. There was no point in lying, you'd call him out either way.
"...Yes," He finally replied, looking down at the floor for a microsecond. He definitely did not want you to know that.
"But look-- we're better as friends. I know that, she knows that. We've just been friends for such a long time, and we just have chemistry. But nothing will ever happen, I swear," It was like watching yourself, the words just kept tumbling out of him. Finally, he stopped at looked you in the eyes.
"Happy now?" he shook his head, taking a gulp of his scotch.
"Hey I didn't ask for an explanation counselor, you provided that on your own accord," you put your hands up and giggled.
"I--You..." He went over the conversation in his head, realizing only just now you hadn't actually asked to elaborate.
"....You make me nervous," He shook his head with a smile, looking down at his food. His cheeks were the just the faintest shade of pink.
"You are right about one thing though," he spoke without looking up from the floor.
"What's that?"
"It's nice to talk to someone who knows what it's like to not know where your next meal is coming from, or if the next beating is gonna be the one that kills you--" He stopped mid sentence, the pink draining from his face. Actually ALL color for that matter drained from his face. Your eyes went wide, your own face feeling pale.
You hadn't braced yourself for that one, that's for sure. You thought maybe his dad took off on him when he was a kid, maybe he was an alcoholic who would come home drunk every night. Maybe a gambling problem. Not...that.
"I--I didn't mean..." Rafael barely coughed out, his eyes still wide with shock and confusion. How in the FUCK did he let that slip? He would absolutely never even mention things about his dad, let alone make a flippant comment about him. You made him nervous sure, but this was something else. He felt too comfortable around you, too safe. And he wasn't entirely sure he liked that.
"I...I need....I'll be back," He stammered, clearly freaked out. He stumbled off the bar stool and made a bee line to the bathroom.
Arianna took this moment to come out and check on you.
"Well now, did I miss something or were you the one making him nervous?" She giggled but you glared right back at her. "What?"
"I-I can't believe you made me do that!"
"I didn't make you do anything!"
"You--You got in my head, Ari. I lead him, I stroked his hand, I did everything to make him let his guard down, and I didn't even MEAN to do it!" You tried to keep a low voice but you were in moral turmoil right now.
"Babe, you need to learn to embrace this superpower," she took you by the shoulders once again. "You have this way of...enchanting people,"
"Now who's making it sound like magic?" you rolled your eyes.
"Ok for lack of a better word, hypnotizing? Better? People just TELL you things, unprompted. I don't know what it is about you. Your whole cute little "door mouse" demeanor, those big doe eyes. Whatever it is, you charm secrets out of people like snakes. That's why we're friends!" She giggled, but stopped when you made a look of disgust. Did she really just say that?
"I mean, that's one of the reasons we're friends. Not the main one, definitely not," she shook her head, assuring you the best she could.
"But I don't like doing it!!!" You stomped your foot, tears in your eyes. You hated doing it, you hated it. Your "door mouse" demeanor was really genuine, you hated hurting people. But Ari made you do it; and you let her.
"With great power, comes great responsiblity," Ari said in a bold voice, ignoring your eye roll.
"Look if I could do it you KNOW I'd be all over that. But you've got the silver tongue, so I gotta handle the silver," She winked, giving you a small hug, like that would make you feel any better. After a moment, she pulled back and gestured to the bathroom.
"So what crawled up his butt?"
"His dad used to beat him," You said it without thinking, instantly slapping your hands over you and hating yourself for just giving her what she wanted.
"OOOH!! Daddy issues, my favorite," she giggled, clapping her hands together.
"ARI, SERIOUSLY. STOP," "This isn't a game, this is people's lives!" The angry tears lining your eyes threatened to drop any second.
"YES, it is. It's our lives, that you need to save. Let the fancy abogado cry about his daddy for a minute, then suggest you go home and make it better," She told you in a completely serious tone and face.
"And do it FAST, we're closing soon," She warned, going to the back as you saw Rafael coming back from the bathroom.
Were you really gonna let her make you destroy someone you actually cared about....again?
#rafael barba#rafael barba x you#rafael barba x reader#rafael barba imagine#law and order special victims unit#law and order svu#law and order svu fanfiction#helpless
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i have basically covered the material in this post several times on my twitter. but this is, in my opinion, the only s*xy t*mes with w*ngxian take you need.
(cw transphobia, transphobic slurs, antiblack racism, mentions of csa and bestiality in fiction)
edit 6/10/21: hi! i’m realizing people are still reading this! this was written in response to aja romano’s vox article on the fic that was published in late february of this year. i had been frustrated with how their article seemed to miss the point in many ways, because they never talked about the substance of the fic. which, i mean, fair. i wouldn’t want to read a 1million word fic either.
but i already had, so i thought i’d write about some things that i believed needed to be part of the conversation. namely, that its author wasn’t a harmless troll, but a person i genuinely disliked who i believed should be deplatformed.
i think virtual1979 is a bad person.
i think a lot of people mainly know about sexy times the phenomenon more than they do sexy times the fic itself. i have the dubious honor of being one of the few people who has actually read large portions of the million word fic, and that’s why i wanted to write this meanspirited hit piece.
the fic is down right now and the author’s notes and comments have both been deleted, which is why i cannot provide screenshots. however, these are all quotes i have saved from when the fic was online, and i’m happy to talk with anyone if you feel any of these quotes are mischaracterizations of the fic.
i also want to be clear this is not a “callout post” and i’m not trying to “cancel” them or whatever. i am just explaining why i don’t like them, why i don’t feel bad they’re being harassed, and why i do not find them sympathetic at all, and perhaps why you should also adopt these stances.
let’s start with transphobia.
sexy times with wangxian is transphobic. this much is apparent from the tags. virtual1979 tagged the following: F*tanari, d*ckgirl, Sh*male. they use this language in the chapters that include a character with both a vagina and a penis.
they refer to this character (wei wuxian) with the pronouns “he-she.” the following excerpt is a fair representation of how this wei wuxian is referred to in the chapters where wei wuxian has a vagina and a penis.
[Lan Zhan] would never be turned on by a female, and he would actually be turned off by a drag queen - but this… this Wei Ying, it’s Wei Ying, and he-she looks [...]
i know these words are common in porn categories, but they are also slurs. virtual1979 also uses hermaphrodite to refer to this set of anatomy, which is not strictly a slur, but definitely a stigmatizing choice of language.
they have repeatedly made clear they are not open to criticism. they have also since removed the comment section. making an intersex character for the express purpose of using transmisogynistic language towards them in your million word porn fic isn’t annoying the way their tags are, it’s actively fucked up.
fanfiction has a transphobia problem, and if we’re talking about sexy times with wangxian in any capacity, we must be clear: sexy times with wangxian is part of that problem too.
secondly, virtual1979 is also complicit in ao3’s racism problem.
i think the way they write about chinese characters and settings is annoying and racist, but they are a malaysian chinese person, so i do have some sympathy for them. i am committed to having some patience for people who are annoying if they themselves are working through the prejudice they have faced.
they’ve commented as much:
Not gonna lie, this fic has been a steep learning curve for me despite my roots being Chinese as well, but I have absolutely zero knowledge in some of these aspects!
and i’m happy on some level they can get in touch with their roots. who among us has not been cringe and diaspora. any criticisms i have of their portrayal of chinese people will stay private and be made to other people of color.
i’m going to be clear here i don’t think the actual comment they made makes them super evil or anything. but this essay IS clearly in response to That Article, which did mention racism in fandom. so.
i think we have all seen the infamous karen comment they made, in which they compared people who criticized their tagging with “Karens,” equating antiblack state violence to... mean comments on ao3? and “SJWs,” which, eye roll. no ageism but you’re 41 why the hell are you complaining about sjws
anyway. i am deeply frustrated by the co-option of the word karen. a stand-in for a particular type of racist violence white women specifically can and do inflict has become fused with that reddit-type mommy issue “can i speak to the manager” internecine white resentment.
so their trivialization of antiblack racism is another reason i don’t like them. again i KNOW it’s petty to point this out here, but this to me shows that virtual is afflicted with the same kind of fandom brainrot that aja is, where everything comes back to that same sort of self-centered bullshit.
sorry for that jab. julian told me that aja thought that cql was about callout culture and all i could think was “wow! just like virtual thinking that--” because i also have spent too much time on twitter this week.
this is just like. part of this ongoing pattern i’ve noticed with virtual, where they’re aware enough of real problems to acknowledge they exist (police violence, accessibility issues caused by their tagging) but are determined to double down on their minor relative persecution as king, shittily drawing parallels between like... real problems and fandom problems. equating the two or allowing the second to take priority over the former is like... par for the course for this type of person!
third, this is just another clarification on more parallels between ao3 discourse and sexy times that went completely unremarked on by That Article.
i would rather DIE than get into discourse. but why did they write this sentence:
Lan Zhan’s rational mind finally broke with a tsunami of pedophilic lusts [...]
by the way that is the start of a 430 word sentence. and yes this fic does contain hundreds of thousands of words of aged down wei wuxian. make of that what you will.
also why would you make wei wuxian teach baby chickens how to sexually pleasure him. do you hate these characters. what’s going on. i think mxtx should be able to sue virtual for that one.
there’s a very obvious connection between mainstream ao3 discourse and sexy times that went completely unremarked on in That Article. sexy times contains multitudes and some of those multitudes are bestiality and explicit childfucking.
this is not unrelated to fannish culture, they are not unfamiliar with fannish norms, blah blah blah. this is just normal fandom. they’re not subverting shit, they’re just a normal fan who unlike 99% of fanfiction writers on twitter, spends more time writing than posting. this has taken their fannish tendencies to cartoonish heights.
finally, they don’t care about mdzs or wangxian. they’re literally just horny and spiteful that’s it. this isn’t a question of like... “ohh they were a good faith participant in fandom until they went joker mode” and the REAL villain is society/ao3. like no they wanted to write shitty porn, and when they found out they were annoying people, they decided to double down because they could be the main character of the mdzs ao3 tag every time they found a spare hour to write.
here are some select receipts on that topic:
they do not care about canon:
MDZS has quite a complicated and expansive plot and history, and enough content that one can choose to tune out certain parts and still get to the end of the story in one piece. Also, because of its source, some fans may not fully realize the nuances, cultural aspects (ooh, cultural appropriation is another triggering topic) or the full breadth and depth of the source material, such as a person like me, who is half-baked in terms of knowing what the canon universe is all about. So I end up playing with characters and settings technically borrowed from the story, and make them do things that would otherwise run counter to the original source material - and that draws quite some flak from those opinionated people I mentioned just now. It's part of what makes the fandom toxic. It's like they're the self-appointed guardians of the source material and they act like they own the rights to question such questionble fanworks, and dare I say, try to take down those that cross certain lines too.
they are just horny:
After that giddines of extra drunken Lan Wang Ji scenes at the beginning, I'm blessed with Lan Wang Ji (Wang Yibo's, actually) fuzzy nips! Bless Bless Bless, and Amen! muahs the nips on the screen
anyway they did get nuked over wishing covid on people.
so yeah. i want to be really clear. this is my thesis: i do not feel bad for them. you should not either. i do not like them. you should not either. that’s ALL!!!!
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