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violetlypurple · 19 days

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With the Windows recall shit rolling around, I'm going to be That Girl and put it out there that Linux is, indeed, still a thing, and a thing that has come a long way with regards to user experience and gaming. And a thing that runs 75% of the internet but anyways Saying, "Linux isn't just for nerds and enthusiasts anymore!" wouldn't be an entirely truthful statement, but if all you do is play games, go on socials, and hang in discord... It'll work? I'm speaking to a target audience here, posting from an FFXIV-focused blog, so let me dive into it a little for that target audience, with the assumption that none of you are out there being sweaty over Apex, Overwatch, Fortnite, or whatever zoomers play these days. Basically anything you play through Steam will run flawlessly* on Linux. Valve have baked the Proton compatibility layer into Steam for a while, and since Valve's Steam Deck runs on Linux, they are on point with updates for it. This means that Steam will do the work of making Windows games run on Linux for you without any additional software or tinkering. This includes the Steam version of FFXIV**.

Now, I can't speak to or ensure that reshade or any 3rd party plugin will work. In my case (details below the cut) reshade was more or less intact but all the presets broke so I just kinda said fuck it and removed the remnants. But thats ok, right? You want to try out the 7.0 graphical updates without instagram filters, right? Don't you..?

Mods and other plugins? Don't know, don't care, frankly don't like that they exist outside the narrow window of seeing people's fun screenshots. Sorry not sorry. That said, I have seen some things on the googles.

There are obviously various things that work differently/don't work on Linux like they do on Windows. I can't account for every case, so google is your friend here. The one particularly notable case I ran into was screenshare with Discord being unable to deliver audio, which makes group watching things like netflix a bit of a problem. There are technically workarounds but again, Target Audience.

Sooo... Yeah? If you're mildly tech savvy, go get Ubuntu, install it on a second drive, external drive, or even just try it out from the usb you put the install media on for an hour. If you wanna get spicy with it, do some looking around to see what distribution of Linux might suit you better. Pop_OS is also pretty beginner friendly. Yes, there are some adjustments and some things to learn, but if you have the energy to be mad at what Microsoft is doing, you have the energy to learn a few new things to get away from it. As with anything related to messing with your operating system; back up your important things, just in case!

The Notable Caveats:

*I can't speak to all multiplayer games, since some use anti-cheat or DRM that may not work on Linux. But frankly, a quick google of "will [game] run on Linux" can get you a quick yes or no on if this will be a problem for you. In my case, I mostly care about Helldivers 2 with its nProtect, and it works fine. BG3 has no problems either.

**You might be thinking, "But Basement Witch Noone Knows, I don't use the Steam version of FFXIV!" And yes, that does complicate matters. My brief tutorial is below the cut, should you find yourself committed to this notion, or just have a morbid curiosity.

Ok, so I don't have the Steam version of FFXIV either. There are two ways around this that I am aware of.

The first, which I would not recommend, is to get a 3rd party Linux launcher. If you care about this Windows recall thing, you probably fully understand why I would advise against using a 3rd party app to put your username and password into. If you are willing to do some research into the providers of these tools to determine their trustworthiness, I can't stop you, but I wasn't interested.

The second is Steam! Again! A fun fact about FFXIV is that it runs pretty self-contained in its folder. I have shit internet, so I have been just copying the whole ass SquareEnix folder off my drive and onto other drives to save myself two days of downloading for years now.

If you have Linux installed and familiarize yourself with the Home folder where your usual Documents/Pictures/Videos folders are, I just copy pasted my whole SquareEnix folder in there, to the cries and lamentations of Linux nerds everywhere that would insist I put it somewhere proper. Anyway. Once it's there, all you need to do is add it to Steam. In the Steam Library there is a button to Add a Game in the bottom right corner. When you click that there is an option to Add Non-Steam Game. When you click that, you will get a prompt to locate and select the game. Here you want to hit Browse, navigate to your Home folder, SquareEnix, FINAL FANTASY XIV - A Realm Reborn, boot. in the boot folder you will need to select ffxivboot.exe. Once you have selected it and clocked Open, it will return you to the Add Non-Steam Game list and you should see ffxivboot.exe selected. Hit Add Selected Programs, and that's it! You can now launch your bodged-in copy of FFXIV through steam, and it will apply the necessary Proton layer to make the launcher and the game work as normal. Yay Linux!

i use arch, btw

#ffxiv #linux

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lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks · 3 years

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I have two suggestions for the Gray Ghost AU.

1: Wes Weston is no longer under suspicion of being a Ghost. Now, he is under suspicion of being the Phantom Hunter. He is athletic, fits the build, is on record as saying he wants to fight Ghosts, and has access to the tech (just BS a connection to the GiW or Axiom). The difference this makes in his regular life is mostly null... except for the fact that Ghosts now keep targeting him for retribution attacks. Danny goes out of his way to obscure his identity from everyone, meaning Wes is seen as them catching Phantom Hunter off guard. I imagine him trying to pin it on Danny but because he so clearly disdains his parent's work, literally no one believes him.

2: The idea of Danny getting his hands on an Ectoplasm enhanced suit like the Technus upgrade Val got to her suit, most likely given by Maddie as a way to bond with Danny (and further prep him for a transformation into a Halfa). Except given his preexisting contamination (his mum is half Ghost) and Maddie messing with the suit, he ends up with the suit now fusing to him more thoroughly. After reading too many Iron Man comics, I picture something like his Bleeding Edge armour. It is basically stored mostly in his body, and he can augment it with extra technology. This would probably be a win scenario for Maddie because this puts Danny even further into Halfa territory. This also makes things more tragic with Val. Because not only has Maddie betrayed Danny to experiment on him, but because it means Val failed to stop this happening to someone she cares about. Also, this opens up a new opportunity for one of the Clones: one who is now a more pronounced cyborg made with a prototype of the suit Maddie gave to Danny, maybe he looks like the Terminator or something. For extra irony, he's the nicest one and likes gardening or something. I know this can be taken further, but I'm not able to focus on it more due to exhaustion.

Also, your idea is great, and thank you for sharing it with us and letting us all throw our suggestions at you. Thanks for all the good content.

no thank you! this stuff is always way more fun and interesting when it's collaborated! most of these ideas wouldn't exist without other people's suggestions, even the initial prompt! ✨

also @everystarstorm this will answer your ask too ~ y'all sharing a braincell today haha

1. omg yes YES yes this is perfect absolutely 100%

Wes just cannot catch a break in ANY universe (the concept of Walter Weston working for Vlad has been a Thing so we can keep that around here since Vlad works at Axion and that can be the connection, maybe Walter is just the paperwork guy or the company's legal attorney)

I also had a suggestion from @burns-art-account that Valerie gets her own version of a Wes, but like since the name Wes initially came from a joke about Sam's name being misread upside down, we could do the same with one of Val's friends, like Star could be Jets or Jeqs, or something like that

although I think this person would be less open and vocal about Valerie since her popularity would make it impossible to point a finger at without being laughed at by the whole school (I mean just look at Wes, his target is just some nerdy kid and he's still a laughingstock), so this character could be a little more subtle in trying to get evidence to out Val, it would make a pretty funny running gag if every time she got a chance to photograph Val transforming or capture some kind of evidence, something always gets in the way at the last moment, like a bird flying in front of the camera or something

2. I want to keep Danny getting the suit from Technus because I'd want this universe's version of that episode to still happen because it was a great episode between these two and it could still work with the switch around

but Maddie really would have to change course with her portal plan because this whole thing could actually make that more difficult for Maddie, all of her calculations weren't made with a highly ecto-contaminated person in mind, this would mean she would have to readjust the portal's design between Danny and the rest of her family, or actually just throw that plan away in favour of working with this new angle

she could realise that her kids HAVE picked up some traits from her because yeah a normal human shouldn't be able to do that to ghost tech

the idea that Maddie does add to his arsenal is good, once she figures out that any tech he uses gets absorbed into his suit she starts making more weaponry that's super compatible with him, possibly even making stuff that will purposely contaminate him further to bring him closer to being like a halfa (this would be a pretty huge step in Maddie's villain development because now she's resorted to experimenting on her own son, she's losing sight of why she's doing all this in the first place) it would be really cool to see Maddie gradually losing her maternal motherly nature to the cold calculating scientist

like her warmth used to feel at least somewhat genuine deep down but now it just feels like a part she's playing, slimy and sinister, she was always manipulative but she had a real genuine care for her family underneath, she thought she was doing the right thing, but that love and care is slipping away into just doing whatever it takes to get what she wants, to complete her experiment

also I was thinking about the cloning ep being set kinda earlier in this universe, so that would have happened pre-upgrade, but the idea of there being a cyborg clone made later is super cool, and then we could get a clone centric episode where the other clones try to convince this newer more dangerous clone to join their family, and yes him becoming the sweetest, nicest clone is *mwah* perfection

that ep could pave the way and maybe even foreshadow Maddie's eventual experimentations on Danny himself

and the repercussions on Val oooooof, she would feel so guilty, she would feel so much like she let him down and she couldn't save him from becoming something he never wanted to be and now it's getting to a point where it'll be too late for him to get back to normal

and since we've established in a previous post that Vlad knows about Danny, he could even play as Danny's one guiding light, warning him that if he keeps doing this he won't be able to turn back, and his interactions with Danny could give us some insight to what's going on in Danny's head, he's trying so hard to point Danny away from all this while his own mother is more subtly encouraging him and pushing him in the other direction, like a shoulder angel/shoulder devil kinda thing

these are some great ideas thank you for sharing! ❤️❤️

#asks #danny phantom #gray ghost au

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saranghanuuu · 3 years

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PERKS OF DATING A YOUNGER GUY I LEARNED AFTER WATCHING CHINESE DRAMA FIND YOURSELF + REVIEW!

1. He has less baggage

This means that he has more time to attend to your needs and wants unlike an older guy with a demanding schedule and lots of responsibilities at hand.

2. He's more open-minded and adventurous

They are open to having new experiences and won't judge you for veering off the path you should stay on.

3. He's infectiously energetic *ehem*

Need I say more? A younger guy's youthful sense will surely find unimaginable ways to impress you!

4. He puts you on a pedestal

A younger man will appreciate your maturity and experiences and will admire you for it. They're also most likely take advice from you without letting it bruise their ego.

5. He'll make you feel young

Be prepared to relive the fun parts of your younger years with him.

It's not so wrong to say that the May-December relationship is taboo, especially among Asians. Most people I know had this inkling that when a younger guy hooks up with a woman way older than him, it could prolly mean one of two things — the guy's a paramour or she's a sugar momma. I'm honestly not a fan of it either on the premise that women mature faster than men. Let's be real, an immature relationship is a disaster. But now that I'm in my late 20s, and a hopeless romantic single at that, I kinda pondered over this. It suddenly occurred to me, what if one day I’m caught up in the position of being pursued by a younger man? Will I let the stigma affect me emotionally? Or will I take the risk ‘coz all is fair in love? I still don’t have a definite answer to this question. However, watching Find Yourself served as an eye-opener for me to look at things from a different perspective.

Find Yourself is a 2020 Chinese drama starring Song Wei Long and Victoria Song. It tells the story of a 32-year old Executive Director who never *even once* experienced dating. Given her age and career stability, she receives constant pressure from the people around her to find someone to marry and has since frequented blind dates arranged by her family, friends, or colleagues. But this girl is just someone who swears by the "spark" - no spark, then no point to the relationship. She may be old for fantasizing over first love and such, but she still yearns that it'll naturally come to find her someday. Until her thirst for real romance is quenched by a 22-year-old guy who started working as an intern in her company at his brother’s request.

Although hesitant at first due to their huge age difference and the societal views, she went out with him on the condition that they'll keep it a secret for the first 3 months. If everything went well, she agrees to publicize her relationship with him.

Let’s start off with the good things...

I just can't with this drama...! This so beautiful, cute, relatable - especially for a woman in late 20s like me.

Plot-wise, it was well-imparted and makes perfect sense, touching a looooooot of relationship aspects in 41 episodes. Not only did I enjoy the happenings between our main couple, but our side couples' stories are very interesting too.

This drama pretty much straightened out my prejudice about age-gap relationships.

Light-hearted, just the way I like it! Every episode will make you smile and/or laugh hard.

Sexual tensions overload and superb kissing scenes! Let those hormones rush in. Not awkward to watch 'coz They. Did. Not. Hold. Back. Ack! If you're single, be prepared to feel MORE SINGLE watching this drama.

Well-written lines that will make you feel real emotions. The words will shoot you straight to the heart.

Acting-wise, the casts, from the mains down to the sides, did a super fine job in conveying the sentiments of their characters. My highest admiration goes to male lead Yuan Song, not (only) because he’s young, hot, and handsome, but because his youthful vibe made me reminisce the paradox of my early 20s awww. Anyways, in the beginning, I am sort of confused why (of all girls) he fell head over heels with our female lead He Fanxing who's obviously out of his league. I even suspected him of taking advantage of her naivety in matters of the heart. But as the drama went along, our dude proved himself genuine... That he's sincerely just a guy who's deeply in love with a woman... That indeed, true love can exist in this kind of relationship. Both Yuan Song and Fanxing emotionally benefited from each other and it's so lovely seeing that.

⚠️ AND SORRY BUT THIS IS A SPOILER ALERT⚠️

Halfway through the drama, our main couple called it quits. I'm somewhat grateful that it happened. Their break-up scene is just so powerful I had to rewind it many times. Not because I liked seeing them suffer from the consequences of their incompatibility. Rather, I loved it 'coz it became the turning point of their relationship.

Their love is premature, to begin with — trust isn't mutual, commitment is one-way, only showing each other's good sides in fear of the relationship turning sour, one is willing to compromise while the other wants to avoid responsibility, filled with doubts and insecurities. During this break-up phase, we were shown the difference between how kids and adults behave and decide in a dilemma. I suddenly remembered this one line delivered in the drama which I agree with — "Only kids would choose one or the other. Adults find solutions". The break-up also served as our main couple's period of contemplation about who and what they want in life. It taught them how to fully embrace their offbeat romance against the norms. Fortunately, things wrapped up into a sweet end.

And of course the bad...

Hmmm... Maybe I'm just not used to it but am I the only one who thinks that this drama is quite lengthy? Yes, I enjoyed it but it's not a good one to binge-watch. It took me almost a month to finish this I nearly drowned haha. Honestly, there were parts they could've just compressed instead of dragging it for too long. One example is Ye Luming and He Fanxing's relationship trial. Ooohhh I hate this part it brought shivers down my spine ugh. Well truth be told, Luming and Fanxing are compatible and better off as friends. They jive so well, and I give it to them that they're both adults who can only understand adult things.

But when Luming all of a sudden became a sneaky character to an intolerable point... Ah, I don't know anymore! Seeing how compelled Fanxing is to being Luming's girlfriend got under my skin. Although these ugly parts eventually became a good contributory factor to Fanxing's realization of her true feelings towards Yuan Song, but still...! I also hated Fanxing at one point for being so gullible in love. But yeah, I had to swallow it because that's her character setup in the first place. It should be expected of her to be hasty and dubious about it.

On the other hand, I wished they've been generous in showing us more about how Yuan Song and Fanxing's relationship is going after the public reveal. I've been waiting for this the entire time (they could've done so much more in 41 episodes' length!) so I'm quite disappointed.

After watching the second season of Well-Intended Love, I admit I lost interest in Chinese dramas. So watching this restored my faith in them. I even have a list of C-dramas lined up now! But I have to move on from this one first before I start another. It's not as easy as I thought ㅠㅠ

What do you think about this drama? Are we on the same frequency? ❤️

If you haven't watched this yet, watch it now. As in 지금부터 RIGHT NOW. Highly-recommended!

#find yourself #下一站是幸福 #song weilong #victoria song #chinese drama #romance #comedy #drama reviews #yuan song #he fanxing #chinese #romcom #cdrama #may-december relationship

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hiddenintheknown · 2 years

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I try to analyze my birthchart a bit deeper #1 (Sun)

I was just thinking about it before, I think it's better if I put all my ideas together into a post. I have to say, it's so damn hard to express myself when I think about this site is something I plan to be not hidden - yes, it is my Chiron placement, I'll talk about this too below.

Libra sun in the 11th house: This is my Sun, therefore it's where I naturally go towards, what I gain energy from. The biggest life goal. It's in Libra, which means I work with the energy of Libra - I form myself to fit into my circle (which is hardly possible as I have my own personality (while feeling like I don't have one), but I still happen to do it), which makes my persona and my way kinda weak, as I supposed to be my own, unshakable character to go on with in life (that's Leo and Aries in the sun, as an example). I form myself to fit in to communities, to balance out people one on one, to make myself liked (getting out of my character's comfortzone) so my ideas for life, my lifeforce, my foundation is very unstable. In itself, it doesn't create a big problem as the whole personality makes up what you are about to turn out.

It makes me very depending on others - so I'm in a need to create my life taking my circumstances into consideration in order for me to move along. Which is something that's not under my control, but at least I don't need to completely surrender and be walked over on. Good things are, that I can get very liked by others, I can maintain relationships well and I'm open to become others - which doesn't sound good at first.

Libra is ruled by 7th house, and 7th house is also about the qualities you actually have in you, but you don't acknowledge, use; the part of you that is repressed, hidden. But is there. This is why in a relationship (7th house theme) you and the other person can be together as you are compatible - you balance each other out. Which is possible if you can become one - let's see how the Yin&Yang form something together. They became one. It is because they are actually the same. You both have those qualities that are both present in you.

Because of this, I learned to work with my 7th house energy more (as having a Libra filter is calling in the theme where this filter is supposed to work - for example, you are intelligent so you work the best if you use your intelligence). I began to acknowledge that I have everything in my what others have. There were so many things I didn't like in others before, and I was scared to do the same - looks like I was keeping those qualities as my shadow. Not anymore. But it also makes me become one with everyone else. Makes me unstable in my own theme I should have. I have a lot of love to give, I can also give it, but I become less outstanding as a person, it is unfortunate for me being a separate being.

For the 11th house, this whole thing's getting put into that area. Which is about friendships, about the group i'm part of, about the foundation we have as a group (mutual goals); also creating something unique, something that was not yet seen - which also makes me want to separate from the crowd for my own sake to feel alive, to feel like a person as I have to maintain my own uniqueness, what makes me stand out from the mass. It's pretty opposing, but that's something we have already known about aquarius. Aquarius detaches because they need to give themself first before they give others (that's the Leo-Aquarius axis). Both Libra and Aquarius are unfortunate placements in the sun: Libra is in fall, Aquarius is in detriment. I think the overall theme for my life is about people, about my friends, the group I'm working in towards one goal, a group where I feel I belong, but I have to stay in touch with my own individuality; something that is bringing a change, bringing in something new while me balancing my connections with others, giving my persona up for the foundation (but this itself is supposedly my own foundation to be like this).

Being able to use Libra energy is making it easier to work towards my North Node as I have that in 7th house (but I have to approach it with a different energy to make it work - it's like, you are having a taste of the product but you can't have it just yet, you have to reach it in another way).

I have my Sun close to my Venus (as that's in Libra too, which is at home in Venus, but in the 12th house), trine my

Uranus (Aquarius 4H) and

Neptune (Aquarius 3H) (these trine my Venus as well); square my Saturn (Cancer 9H - which squares my Venus too).

I don't know too much about Uranus yet, but I think this planet is about bringing in the new, the never seen unique, innovative collectively (also this isn't a personal planets so working with it collectively makes even more sense). It's where all the weird things hide, but also gives coldness, detachment, logic. Aquarius energy embodies both abstractness and logic as itself is about emotions that is being kept separate. I don't know how trines exactly affect placements, but they get connected that's for sure. For the Sun it might manifest as a goal, talk about my lifepath; for Venus it manipulates my way of treating the material (which doesn't mean money and objects - it's about how things we have in life is rooted to the physical existence - also the librarian things as socializing, beauty (beauty is abstract, so as an illusion - I guess this is where we can bring up how Venus is exalted in Pisces). So, Uranus has an effect by it's qualities on also how I am being present among people, how I reach out to them. While Aquarius energy makes me detached from my surroundings, my Venus is being in 12th house - that makes me melt into the mass, so that I don't have the voice as a separate being. This makes me very empathetic (along with my Scorpio moon & rising which are also in the 12th house), while not being really able to win over people directly. I will talk more about Venus in Libra 12th house later. Oh, and my Uranus is in 4th house, cancerian energy which is related to my mother, my family, my comfort space I create/have been created for me (like home), my ancestral line, my past, my karma, curses and karma that run in the family, my caring and inner nature, my emotions, everything hidden from the outside. I haven't really been thinking about how this manifest in this situation, but I might make a post about it later.

Neptune is the abstract things that make sense to everything. As spirituality is not separable from the material, logic-infused part of the World. It's about the whole picture while also appreciating the small details (Pisces-Virgo axis). it's where universal, deep truth is hiding and flowing. It cannot be brought out, but can be caught and then let go to continue to flow. Looks like it doesn't exist, while it's there all the time. It's everywhere. It's where my 3rd house is actually (the way I think and being expressed as a person, which is kind of unfortunate/unlucky for me becoming seen, but at least I have the difficultly expressable knowledge as I work with this energy); and 3rd house is also my Chiron (that I mentioned at the beginning - but it's activated by working with Capricorn filter, Capricorn theme). So, back to Neptune, Neptune energy is connected to my Sun and Venus. And how 3rd house is present here, it makes my Chiron also connected to my Sun and Venus. Self expression is being brought important.

Now, let's talk about the square my Saturn makes to my Sun with that Cancer 9H. I don't know how squares exactly manifest neither. But Saturn is about the structure of life, what we believe we are capable of, how we restrict ourselves or we are beings restricted karmically (that could mean our family's restrictions or our karma for this lifetime), the effort we have to put in to succeed, the lessons we have to learn while going on with, and in order to be able to continue our journeys. This shows the limitations we have. Where we have to take the responsibility and carrying it becomes heavy. But everything related to Saturn gets better over time. Cancer in Saturn is in detriment, which means I use the exact opposite energy from what I should use (this happens too in my Sun). This squaring to my Sun and Venus means I have to face these told difficulties in my life regarding the planets' themes of course. 9th house is about my higher education - which can mean my spiritual learning journey and my education after highchool (education I take as an adult), while travelling gaining

experiences, getting wiser (and all that can be used for teaching, publishing). It can be talked a lot about, which I will do

later. Now I think I explained everything I mentioned, in a basic level. Because everything can be analyzed even deeper, which I will do but not in this post.

I also talked about Uranus, Neptune, Venus and Saturn a bit, along with my placements I have in

them. As astrology is very complicated; so much stuff can get connected. But it was about my Sun placement, and I think I will separately do posts about every placements as they get very long explanations.

I know this post isn't well structured, and is messy, but I also contained in plus information so everything that is needed is there.

#astrology #birth chart #astro observations #astrology readings #astro notes #astrology placements #astro community #sun sign

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i-like-your-genitalia · 7 years

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You are going to kill me... buuut all 200 questions? I'm keeping you busy and thinking about your life

200: My crush’s name is: Jennifer  

199: I was born in: a hospital? (Jks 1998) 

198: I am really: funny  

197: My cellphone company is: Lebara 

196: My eye color is: boring ol’ brown  

195: My shoe size is: a ladies 9 

194: My ring size is: I actually don’t know 

193: My height is: 5'10  

192: I am allergic to: nothing surprisingly  

191: My 1st car was: 1998 Subaru Legacy (the station wagon) 

190: My 1st job was: Checkout Worker 

189: Last book you read: The Accident Man 

188: My bed is: a king  

187: My pet: I don’t have one atm  

186: My best friend: Anushka  

185: My favorite shampoo is: I don’t have one (but I like anything coconut or tropical scented) 

184: Xbox or ps3: don’t care  

183: Piggy banks are: lit 

182: In my pockets: I’m a girl, only 20% of my clothes have pockets big enough to put anything in  

181: On my calendar: “Spotify Premium runs out on the 27th of August" 

180: Marriage is: Not married  

179: Spongebob can:  

178: My mom: is awesome  

177: The last three songs I bought were? Whatever I listened to last on Spotify?  

176: Last YouTube video watched: review on Aztec clay face mask  

175: How many cousins do you have? 4 step cousins and then 6 blood related cousins  

174: Do you have any siblings? Just a younger sister  

173: Are your parents divorced? Nah they still together and in love  

172: Are you taller than your mom? Only just  

171: Do you play an instrument? I used to play the piano  

170: What did you do yesterday? Worked

[ I Believe In ] 

169: Love at first sight: kinda  

168: Luck: yes  

167: Fate: not really  

166: Yourself: sometimes  

165: Aliens: yes  

164: Heaven: yes  

163: Hell: no  

162: God: yes  

161: Horoscopes: I mostly enjoy the zodiac memes and compatibility and personality horoscopes  

160: Soul mates: yes, but I believe you have more than one  

159: Ghosts: yes  

158: Gay Marriage: big yes  

157: War: nope 

156: Orbs: it would be cool but I’m neutral  

155: Magic: yes

[ This or That ] 

154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs  

153: Drunk or High: Drunk  

152: Phone or Online: Online  

151: Red heads or Black haired: Red heads  

150: Blondes or Brunettes: Blondes  

149: Hot or cold: Hot  

148: Summer or winter: Summer  

147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn  

146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate  

145: Night or Day: Day  

144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges  

143: Curly or Straight hair: Curly  

142: McDonalds or Burger King: Maccas  

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk Chocolate  

140: Mac or PC: Mac 

139: Flip flops or high heels: High Heels  

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and Poor  

137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke 

136: Hillary or Obama: OBAMA 

135: Burried or cremated: Cremated  

134: Singing or Dancing: Dancing  

133: Coach or Chanel: Chanel  

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are they? 

131: Small town or Big city: Big city  

130: Wal-Mart or Target: I haven’t been to either  

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller  

128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure  

127: East Coast or West Coast: East Coast  

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: this is too cruel to answer  

125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate  

124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney  

123: Yankees or Red Sox: um don’t care

[ Here’s What I Think About ] 

122: War: It’s expensive and unnecessary and should be a last resort. It’s not worth the lives lost, people injured and relocated. The monetary cost is ridiculous and it barley solves anything. It cause more issues and potentially more wars

121: George Bush: did 9/11 

120: Gay Marriage: It’s actually crazy how long and how much effort it took to get this accepted. And I just hope this right isn’t taken away!  

119: The presidential election: Donald Trump and Pence need to die or be locked up forever, I don’t even understand how anyone thought that Hilary Clinton would be worse.  

118: Abortion: Pro-choice for the win  

117: MySpace: I wasn’t old enough for this  

116: Reality TV: my guilty pleasure tbh  

115: Parents: I love my parents and they are good to me. But it would be great if they could be less homophobic.  

114: Back stabbers: I don’t know why people feel the need to intentionally hurt and embarrass someone, especially someone who isn’t prepared for it or trusts you  

113: Ebay: I don’t really use eBay  

112: Facebook: I use it to tag my non tumblr friends in memes and to stalk people  

111: Work: I’m sick of my job but I’m having to stick it out for now.  

110: My Neighbors: They are seasonal but if their kids could not move and rearrange the bedroom at the ass crack of dawn that would be fantastic  

109: Gas Prices: New Zealand, especially in the towns. Gas prices are so high. Spain isn’t so bad 

108: Designer Clothes: I’d rather have more clothes than one designer one  

107: College:  

106: Sports: I have zero hand eye coordination and therefore hate sports! But I will watch the Olympics  

105: My family: They are cool for the most part  

104: The future: is scary and it makes me wanna throw up if I think too much about it

[ Last time I ] 

103: Hugged someone: like a week ago  

102: Last time you ate: I’m eating chocolate right now  

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: my grandparents and my cousins today  

100: Cried in front of someone: it’s been forever  

99: Went to a movie theater: like a good 6-8 months ago 

98: Took a vacation: ummm like 4 months ago  

97: Swam in a pool: yesterday  

96: Changed a diaper: not since my babysitting days  

95: Got my nails done: literally before I left New Zealand so 5 months ago 

94: Went to a wedding: it’s been years  

93: Broke a bone: never actually broken anything in my body  

92: Got a peircing: I got my ears pieced when I was 12  

91: Broke the law: Probably when I was driving, speeding or something but nothing I've been charged with lmao 

90: Texted: like a couple of hours ago

[ MISC ] 

89: Who makes you laugh the most: my sister  

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: having consistently good home cooked meals  

87: The last movie I saw: probably shrek  

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: being back in New Zealand! Or doing some travelling  

85: The thing im not looking forward to: working  

84: People call me: gay 83: The most difficult thing to do is: be honest  82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: I actually haven’t  

81: My zodiac sign is: Leo  

80: The first person i talked to today was: my girlfriend  

79: First time you had a crush: the first crush I remember, I was in year 4 (so 8 years old) and it was on this boy named Joseph  

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: I’m good at hiding things tbh  

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: my sister when my mum and dad were talking shit  

76: Right now I am talking to: my sister and my friends from New Zealand  

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Hairdressing tho I kinda would like to do pre school/nursery/kindergarten teaching  

74: I have/will get a job: currently working as front of house at a little supermarket  

73: Tomorrow: I’m working and doing house work 

72: Today: I slept and then worked  

71: Next Summer: I will hopefully be enjoying the sunshine  

70: Next Weekend: Working yet again and having dinner with my grandparents  

69: I have these pets: Definitely a cat, and also a dog  

68: The worst sound in the world: chalk or finger nails on a chalkboard  

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: myself  

66: People that make you happy: my sister, my friends and my girlfriend  

65: Last time I cried: when I watched beauty and the beast  

64: My friends are: absolutely incredible, I don’t deserve them 

63: My computer is: I don’t have one anymore  

62: My School: I’m not in school  

61: My Car: I don’t have a car atm  

60: I lose all respect for people who: are snakes  

59: The movie I cried at was: beauty and the beast 

58: Your hair color is: brown and boring  57: TV shows you watch: Atm limitless, shooter, Shetland, Rewatching Criminal Minds, AHS and Black Mirror 

56: Favorite web site: boohoo.com or iherb  

55: Your dream vacation: A cruise or a historical/relaxed tour of the ancient world  

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: in a tie between slamming my fingers in a car door or when I got a virus (it’s a really bad version of food poisoning) and I actually thought I was gonna die.  

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium to well done  

52: My room is: relatively clean and currently got that minimal plant theme going  

51: My favorite celebrity is: Dua Lipa  

50: Where would you like to be: with @dysfunctionalgroup 

49: Do you want children: yeah one day  

48: Ever been in love: yes  

47: Who’s your best friend: Anushka  

46: More guy friends or girl friends: it used to be a balance but now mostly girl friends  

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: cute underwear and a good nights sleep  

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: 

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: yes 

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: mentally but it’s not written down anywhere  

41: Have you pre-named your children: no, but I have some names I really like lined up  

40: Last person I got mad at: my sister  

39: I would like to move to: the Uk or NZ  

38: I wish I was a professional:

[ My Favorites ] 

37: Candy: Reece’s pieces or skittles  

36: Vehicle: Kinda want a Range Rover or a Land Rover but in the old style. Or a classic car 

35: President: Obama 

34: State visited: ive never been to America  

33: Cellphone provider: Lebara  

32: Athlete: my bio teacher, she played for a big women’s netball team  

31: Actor: Jensen Ackles  

30: Actress: Gal Gadot  

29: Singer: Dua Lipa 

28: Band: The Internet

27: Clothing store: h&m or boohoo 

26: Grocery store: I don’t have one  

25: TV show: Brooklyn 99 

24: Movie: I have too many  

23: Website: this hell hole 

22: Animal: Cats or Goats  

21: Theme park: I’ve only been to Disney  

20: Holiday: Christmas and Halloween  

19: Sport to watch: Gymnastics  

18: Sport to play: None 

17: Magazine: who reads magazines anymore  

16: Book: the Mysterious Benedict Society  

15: Day of the week: Friday  

14: Beach: as long as it’s sandy I’m cool  

13: Concert attended: J Cole 

12: Thing to cook: Pizza and Sweet and Sour Pork  

11: Food: Cheesburgers  

10: Restaurant: Any that sell food I like  

9: Radio station: ZM

8: Yankee candle scent: most of them

7: Perfume: Dolce and Gabbana, Floral Drops

6: Flower: forget me nots

5: Color: Green

4: Talk show host: don’t have a fave

3: Comedian: don’t have a fave

2: Dog breed: Border Collie

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Guess you’ll never know

#all done #my asks #answered asks #ask me anything

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shesjustthinking · 6 years

Text

Bus Boy

Okay, So here's the thing,

there's this guy at my school who catches the same bus as me to and from school. I started catching this bus about three years ago (in grade 9) and we didn't really talk that much, just kinda smiled at each other if we accidently made eye contact. One of my friends was really close to bus boy and another had a crush on him because their star signs were compatible. At the time I had the biggest crush on another guy who caught the same bus as us. And they were both friends. So when the guy I had a crush on caught the bus I would talk to him and by association the bus boy. Over the holidays I talked less to the guy I had a crush on and he got a girlfriend at the beginning of grade 10. I didn't really get over him that year. Meanwhile, I keep catching the bus once a week all through grade 10. Bus boy and I start waving at each other when he gets off the bus. (I discover later that he didn't like me at first, because I lived further away from school than him, lol). During grade 10, we'd converse over our mutual hate for another school that caught the same bus as us - pretty much just rolling our eyes at each other. Mostly it would just be small talk for a couple of minutes while we put our headphones in. Sometimes we'd chat for a bit during lunch as we had heaps of mutual friends.

Then in grade 11, I started catching the bus every morning and afternoon. In the morning we didn't talk whatsoever, we would just squint our eyes at each other in greeting. We shared two classes, Study and Biology, sometimes we'd talk for a little bit about that. Then one afternoon he started talking to me about a video he saw on instagram about robotic and glass eyes. We talked the whole bus ride home, I said goodbye to him instead of waving and he squinted his eyes at me in response. This continues on, we chat all afternoon. The guy I used to like sometimes catches the bus with us, we didn't pay him too much attention. I didn't really realise that I wasn't upset over him anymore. In the morning, bus boy gets off a stop before me with some of his friends I don't really talk too - while its quicker to school, it's a longer walking distance. I prefer waiting until the end of the line at the next stop as it's a shorter walk. One morning he didn't get off with his friends. Instead he got off at my stop and we walked into school together. This continues on all year and slowly but surely we become friends and I start looking for him at his bus stop in the morning rather than the guy I had a crush on in grade 9.

Skip forward a bit further into the year and I go out with two of my friends to lunch.

One of them asks, "What about bus boy? You guys are really close."

I skirt around it, "He's a really good friend."

Unsatisfied the other tells me, "He definitely likes you."

I respond, "that's nice of him" while stirring around my hot chocolate. (Wow go me, totally subtle, very cool about it *face palms*). Up until this point I hadn't really thought about him whatsoever in that way. He was a friend who I'd somehow conveniently slipped into my circle and set up camp. No romance whatsoever at this point. I just knew that I enjoyed talking to him. My friends let it go and I forget about it. Quite literally, I forgot this happened for a bit.

I invited my friends over for a thing at Easter. We ate cupcakes and played Mario cart. He rode his bike to my house and I hugged him goodbye on my front lawn.

Skip forward a little bit more, after we'd finished our last exam in term 3 our whole group decided to go for lunch. We went to get fish and chips. My friend had been telling me about these milkshakes across the road from the fish and chip shop, so naturally I wanted to try one. Bus guy, my milkshake friend, two of my other friends and me head over to the milkshake place. I got my milkshake with little hesitation, bus boy didn't he doesn't really like ice cream. My friends were being indecisive about if they wanted a milkshake or not. Bus boy told me that he needed to be getting home. I told my friends that we we're leaving to catch the bus home because neither me or bus boy wanted to catch the bus by ourselves if we didn't have to. One of my friends winked at me, one of them was annoyed we were leaving so early, the other said something along the lines of "You're leaving together? We'll that's nothing new."

Me and bus boy go home, he gets off at his stop I get off at mine. I remember what they said about him liking me and over analyse everything on the way home and then forget about it again.

That year I make him chocolate cupcakes for his birthday per his request. I was sick on his birthday and couldn't bring get them to him on his actual birthday. I gave them to him the next week and he was very thankful and bashful about it.

Fast forward to my birthday. I invite both my friends from high school and primary school. My two friends from primary school came over earlier to help set up and ask me about my friends who were coming over. I listed them all off and gave a bit of description. I got to bus boy and said, "We catch the bus to school together. He's my best friend." My friends got excited and started teasing me about it. When my friends from high school got to my house, my primary school friends asked them about bus boy. They collectively teased me about him. He arrived and shoved a box of chocolates in my face and said happy birthday. It was pretty funny. I'm fairly certain I went beet red.

We then had our semi-formal toward the end of the year. We spent most of the night chatting to each other.

At the end of the year, our group organised a picnic. I bought him a gift for Christmas and he got embarrassed that he didn't get me anything.

Fast forward to Grade 12. Year 12 started out crazy busy. He started working on Monday and Friday afternoons. My time got chewed up driving to school in the morning to try and get all my hours for my learners license. I began missing out on lunches attending meetings for leadership stuff. We didn't get to speak as much. About halfway through term everyone began talking about our upcoming formal, discussing dates and such ( and by upcoming, I mean four months away).

I went on a camping trip not long after this. My friends started talking about dates.

One of them said to one of the other girls there, "Well you have to come with me to formal because no ones going to ask me." And immediately I thought why am I not being included in this? Who's going to ask me? I must of made my confusion pretty obvious because that she said to me, "You're going to get snatched up by someone..." Again I thought who on earth is she talking about.

And then she says, "Bus boy".

While my brain is quietly exploding inside my head I respond timidly, "That's cute but I don't think he would ask me." Having known him pretty well, I continued "He hates asking people at the shops where stuff is, he's not going to ask me."

One of the other girls asked me, "If he asks you though will you say yes?"

Without thinking about it, I say, "Of course I would. I'll probably spend most of it talking to him anyway." And then they spent the rest of the weekend teasing me about it.

I began to overthink every interaction I'd had with him, to figure out if he'd ask me and if I really want him too. I came to the conclusion that I would say yes if he asked me but continued to wonder if I should ask him first. I went back to school and everything was relatively normal. Me and bus boy didn't talk about formal. My friends continued to tease me about it. But I realised that something was up when the guy I used to have a crush on in grade 9 asked me, "Has bus boy asked you to formal yet?"

I was positively confused, we barely talked anymore but he was asking me about this? I responded, "No he hasn't said anything. This is bus boy he's not going to. Have you mentioned it to him?"

He then told me, "I've talked to him about it. I said that he should ask you. But (the girl who used to like him based on their star sign compatibility) was thinking about asking him too. Bus boy said he'd say no."

My friend who used to have a crush on him, asked me later at lunch, "I was going to ask bus boy to formal as friends but I think he'd be better off going with you..."

Picking up on her suggestive tone I asked, "You think as more than friends?"

She responds "Well yeah, you talk to him a lot more than I do." I'm was confused by all off this sudden talk about bus boy that I went home and tell my mum. We had a bit of a laugh about it and she said, "I think he'll ask you."

In the middle of this, my primary school friend posted a snapchat about formal dates, and I responded saying that I can't wait to meet up and tell her about my tragic situation. We organised to meet up the week later with our other friend.

The next Tuesday, me and my friend got called away from lunch to do house captain things. When we got back to lunch, I ha only just sat back down, my friend hadn't even sat down yet before bus boy walked over to me and said "Will you go to formal with me as friends?" It kind of just spewed out of his mouth all of a sudden.

And I was SHOCKED. I didn't think he was going to ask me, and I had just sat down and it was so abrupt, and my face just went bright red and my heart just left the building and I just said "aww okay". He turned and walked away as soon as I'd said anything and I watched him walk towards his friends who began to tease him. I turned back towards my friends and said "we'll that happened" and they laughed at me and cooed.

One of them asked "Is that a yes?"

I just blushed deeper and said "yeah that's a yes". All of them were looking at me, and I was just so shocked.

Another one of my friends said something similar to, "I knew it. I knew he was going to ask you. I've been rooting for this since like grade 10." And I wasn't really thinking anything in my head. I was just trying to figure out if it had all really happened. When lunch ended he stormed off to his locker. My friend walking next to me said, "That was so cute. I'm so happy for you guys. You'll have to like match his tie to your dress and get a corsage and it's just so cute." I just laughed at her, to overwhelmed to respond properly.

That afternoon we caught the bus together and avoided talking about formal altogether. I smiled really big at him when I saw him and one of his friends who sometimes catches the bus (not the guy I had a crush on) tried to take a photo of us and put hearts around it. Bus boy got pretty embarrassed - it was pretty cute.

I told my mum Friday afternoon and she started teasing me about it too. (Some mother she is. I've never seen her resemble a teenage girls quite so much).

On that Friday, I told that whole story again to my primary school friends and they cooed at me and asked me if I liked him. I told them, "I don't want to get my hopes up in case it goes wrong. I'm going to feel it out first and then decide whether I should do something about it or not."

After all of that, me and bus boy still haven't talked about it very much. It feels as if we both know there's an elephant in the corner and we're not addressing it - just staring at each other more intensely than usual. We have started to talk more outside of school but that's about it. I want to talk to him about it but I feel like there's no way I can do it without saying that I'm infatuated with him. I want to talk about it in person but with no one else around to overhear. We're both very personal and pretty shy. I wouldn't want to make him uncomfortable. Every time I've come up with the dialogue and the scenario to start talking about it, I've lost the courage or we get torn away from each other by work or school or friends.

I'm over telling myself that I don't like him or that I can't be excited over the fact that he might be interested in me. I miss him when I'm not talking to him, I enjoy his company and it makes me feel pretty fantastic when I make him laugh so unexpectedly. Sometimes I wonder if he still gets off at that last stop in the morning and walks by himself into school or if he gets off with his friends.

I really like him, I'm fairly certain he likes me too but I just don't know how to tell him without fucking everything up. He's just the best.

This has been an emotional word vomit. I hope I don't regret this.

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