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thesensteawitch · 3 months

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Ask A Yes Or No Question!

Pick A Pile Reading!

(Left to Right- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)

Think of your question and choose a pile intuitively!

Hello, Senstea Souls!🩷

I hope you all are doing well. Take your time to choose a pile and book a reading if you want a reading done about your personal situation.

To book a personal reading feel free to message me.

Refer to the links mentioned below:

~Booking Form

~Rate Card

Pile 1

Tarot Cards- The Empress, 7 of Cups, 2 of Pentacles, The Temperance, Page of Swords

The answer to your question is a Yes. You have a far-sighted vision regarding something in your life. Though it seems satisfactory, looking at your current life situation the steps that you need to take to have this wish of yours makes you feel overwhelmed. You seem to be in a confusing and defensive energy. The spirit guides want you to rediscover the art of allowing things in your life. You're trying to control everything. But your guides want to tell you that to reach your vision there will be blocks and setbacks on the road. So don't try to figure out a perfect plan. If something doesn't work out today doesn't mean it won't work out tomorrow. Don't let your mind control you or you'll keep losing your balance. Don't let your desire to control everything tempt you into making long-term plans. Take things slow and make short plans for a while. Full moons are significant here. Write affirmations on the full moon day and allow the universe to send you blessings. Don't block your path. Let things flow. Follow the creative ideas that you get but don't try to build your whole life around them. Detach, my friend. Don't lose yourself in the process of finding a way to have your wish. Self-care is necessary for you to align with the frequency of receiving.

To ask more yes or no questions book a reading only at $2!

Pile 2

Tarot Cards- 10 of Cups, 9 of Cups, 2 of Swords, The High Priestess, 10 of Swords

It's a big YES for you pile 2! It's your dream coming true. I don't know what your dream is but I see that your wish is written in your stars. But you don't seem to believe that you can ever have this dream. Some of you finally moved out of a very tough situation. It took every ounce of your being to leave the pain behind. And now the road ahead is clear but you don't know where you are headed to. What lies ahead is justice! What's coming next will feel like the scales of justice are finally being balanced. You asked for something in your prayers and your prayer is being answered. It will free you from any kind of fear that you are still carrying. For a very few I see a proposal coming or a new friend coming into your life. They will be a true blessing. I just heard your spirit guides saying that you are not a failure. Sometimes quitting is the best thing we can do for our peace. Nothing is worth risking your mental health for. So if you feel like a quitter then don't be sorry about it. You didn't quit, you chose your well-being. You are growing and evolving pile 2. A lot of emotional fulfillment is coming up next in your life. You'll be overjoyed! I know you can't see it coming. But please don't lose hope.

To ask more yes or no questions book a reading only at $2!

Pile 3

Tarot Cards- 9 of Swords, Knight of Pentacles, The Emperor, Page of Wands, Ace of Swords

The answer to your question is No. A major transformation is happening in your life currently and what you're asking for will keep you tied to your past or old ways of doing things. I see aggression and violence slowly reaching towards the end. The more you fight the change the more difficult it will get for you pile 3. So don't fight it. Things may seem out of your control but how you see things is still in your control! Change the way you look at things. There's a lot of aggression in some of you that I can see. You're being stubborn. Just have faith that whatever is happening is happening for your good. You can still create a beautiful reality for you. Just let go of the things that are not working out for you and are keeping you up at night. If you allow your mind to be still you'll get new ideas to change your life and live a better life. Ideas will come to you naturally. Be calculative about your next steps and take things slow. Some of you may even be feeling anxious these days. Go for a walk and spend time in nature. Don't rush things and don't put a lot of pressure on yourself. Just be a little easy on yourself. You won't be able to stop this change but this is necessary for your betterment.

To ask more yes or no questions book a reading only at $2!

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dreamingfoxproductions · 4 days

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So I've been getting Bad Batch merch slowly and just recently got the 1/7 scale figures (picked up Hunter and Wrecker last weekend). Today Tech finally arrived in the mail and I made a day out of putting all of them together

Tech was up first (of course)

I couldn't help but find it hilarious he has a second head. Idk why I thought the helmet would be removable hffyfh

Yes his decapitated head will sit at his feet

I got Wrecker done a lot faster cause he has less parts than Tech

Okay so I got Hunter out and while trying to get the rest of his pieces out I sat him thoughtlessly set him on the dresser AND--

TECH NO THATS YOUR BROTHER--

(Off topic but Hunter's box smelled HORRIBLE on the inside?? Maybe Hunter was always the smelly one gfgygth)

Btw Hunter comes with an extra hand. If it were the other hand you could say it's Crosshair's UTGUTHYH (I'll get Crosshair one day but seriously Wrecker and Hunter were expensiiiiive)

The bois completed

Bonus:

I bought some lego minifigs at an antique store a few weeks ago. Someone already bought Crosshair and left Hunter, Wrecker, Tech, and Echo. Which ohhhh the irony. But something I realized is that-- Hunter has Crosshair's sniper rifle, Wrecker has a random second gun, and the gun Echo has isn't even his--

Echo is now surrounded by a random assortment of guns

#i also have the black series s1 omega and wrecker plus s2 omega #the bad batch #bad batch #star wars #sw tbb #sw the bad batch #star wars bad batch #hunter tbb #tech tbb #wrecker tbb #echo tbb #lego #lego minifigures #1/7 scale #star wars merch

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being-a-human-isnt-very-fun · 2 months

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Therianthropy Alphabet

credit to @local-xenogender-icon for the alphabet!

A - awakening

I always remember running around pretending to be a deer and always drawing/seeing myself as a deer. I used to push these away when I was older and never thought about it until I realized that therianthropy was a thing and I wasn’t the only one experiencing it. After that I narrowed my theriotype down to a caribou (yes, I know there are subspecies but they’re all very similar so I just say caribou).

B - balance

My therianthropy affects the way I communicate with other people, and my hobbies. It doesn’t affect my work/school/life balance as much, aside from little “quirks” like being afraid of loud noises, being very attached to people, etc

C - city

I don’t live in a city, I live in a rural area, which I’m very grateful for.

D - diary

I do have an alter human diary! It’s mostly just documenting shifts or drawing, and also functions as a regular journal.

E - experience in the community

I’ve had an extremely positive experience in the alterhuman community on Tumblr, and I’m eternally grateful for this because it helped me untangle my therianthropy identity and figure out who I am. Other social media platforms, not so much.

F - friends

None of my friends know I’m a therian, but I have a friend who is a furry who I think suspects.

G - gear

I don’t really feel the need for gear, but I get why people like it. If I had enough money, I might look into buying something, but mostly gear is centered around foxes/wolves/cats, and it would be hard to find caribou gear. I would have to buy a commission which is very expensive.

I - identity

I only have one theriotype, which is a caribou. I’ve yet to meet another caribou, but I have met so many other deer, who have all been super cool!

J - jokes

I love making little jokes about my identity, because it is very silly if you think about it.

K - knowldege

On a scale of 1-10, I would say my knowledge of alterhumanity is a 7 or 8. I still have a lot to learn.

L - liking, loving

I don’t think I could’ve had a “better” theriotype, a caribou is a lovely animal that I am grateful to be.

N - nature

My theriotype lives in northern parts of North America, and in Europe. They are migratory, so they don’t have one specific territory or anything.

O - otherhearted

Tbh I don’t really know the difference between otherhearted and therianthropy but I don’t think I’m otherhearted.

P - popularity

My theriotype isn’t very popular (unless it’s Christmas). Fun fact: in North America, caribou are called reindeer when they’re domesticated, but in Europe, they’re always called reindeer.

R - real body

I get species dysphoria from time to time.

S - sex

I never really thought about the sex of my theriotype? It’s kind of hard to tell really.

T - traits

-fear of loud noises/sudden noise

-foraging for food (gardening mostly)

-head butting things

-communicating with grunts, moving my head, pointing with my feet, or flicking my “ears” (that don’t exist bc phantom shift)

-running/hiking in the woods and swimming

-flight instinct

Urges

I think this question was centered more towards therians with prey drive instincts, because my urges are mostly just to run away, swim in random bodies of water, eat the grass, and restlessness.

W - wondering

Leaving the question here for context: “How do you think you would look like, if you could psychically shapeshift into your therio/kintype? (Describe or put an image here!)”

Y - yarn

Leaving this question for context too: “If you wanted to buy/make a tail, would it be real fur or fake/yarn fur?”

Caribou don’t have tails…

Z - zoo (as in the place)

I like zoos that are there for protection of a species or rehabilitation. I think there can be a lot of abuse involved, though.

#Therianthropy #alphabet #nonhuman #deer theriotype #deer therian #therian community #caribou therian #therian #alterhuman #otherkin

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killerandhealerqueen · 2 days

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Asks time, let's go

Ask game for fic writers- 1, 3, 5, 16, 24, 28, 30, 37, 39, 44, 58, 72

Ask game for fic writers #2- 10, 15, 16, 30, 32, 38, 44

Fun meta asks - 3, 4, 7, 9, 15, 16, 18, 20, 21, 23, 25

Took, my beloved!! Alright y'all, buckle the fuck up, this shit gone be long

1. do you know how you want the story to end when you start, or are you just stumbling through the figurative wilderness hoping to find a road?

For some fics, yes, I do know how they're going to end when they start, but most times we're just kinda...figuring it out as we go. And sometimes that's the fun part because when just writing, you can sometimes come up with shit better than when you outlined/planned it

3. on a scale of 1-10 how much do you enjoy incorporating romance into the average story?

I enjoy it. So like...an 8-9? Most of my stories are romance anyways so it's not that hard for me

5. have you ever made a playlist about something you were writing as an elaborate means to procrastinate when you could have been actually writing and if yes drop a link, son

Nope. I don't make playlists for my fics

16. where is your favorite place to write?

Well, I write anywhere, but my bed is always a good place. Things just tend to flow there

24. on average, how much writing do you get done in a day?

Depends on the fic. Sometimes I can get pages done, sometimes nothing. But on average, I'd say...1.5-2k? Sometimes more? Like I said, just depends

28. handwritten notes or typed notes?

Typed. My hands cramp after writing for too long. And it's just easier to type if there's a lot of information

30. most inspirational quote you’ve ever read or heard that’s still important to you.

"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you know" ~ A.A Milne

My parents say it to me a lot whenever I have imposter syndrome/am doubting myself. It helps a lot

37. when creating characters, what comes first: appearance, backstory, motivation, personality, something else?

Now, I don't create OC's, but personality, I think would come first for me. I always like characters who have personalities that don't match their appearance (and personalities are more interesting to work with anyways because they're shaped by backstory, motivation, etc.)

39. are you an avid reader?

I am! When I'm not reading fanfiction and I want to get away from the computer, I'll pick up a book. Sometimes if I'm really into one, I can crush one in a day/couple of hours. I've always been a voracious reader

44. any writing advice you want to share?

Just write what you enjoy. You're not writing to please anyone else but yourself (and maybe a few loyal readers). So like...don't write what's trendy or popular, write what makes you happy. It makes the fic much more enjoyable for you and for your readers

58. what is the last thing that a fic made you google when you were writing it?

Hmm...I think for my fic The Tiger is Out, I had to google/duckduckgo the name of the poem the fic was inspired by because I couldn't remember it

72. what do you do if a scene gets too serious?

Oh boy, take a break. There are a lot of scenes in the Killer and Healer rewrite that make me cry/make my heart hurt so I have to take a break from writing it/do something else for a little bit to get a breather. I mean, I can push through (which I've done before) but you feel a little empty afterwards. Or I'll go talk with my discord chat and tell them what just happened to get my mind off the scene

ask game for fanfic writers | send me asks

10. How do you stay motivated to finish what you’ve started?

Ooo, great question. Most times, if a story has gripped me by the throat, I'll keep working on it till it's completed. As for multi-chapters, sometimes I fall outta hyperfixation with them and I don't wanna work on them anymore, but then I also don't wanna leave them unfinished indefinitely (which is fine, of course but not for me) so I finish them (and I tend to feel better after I finish them, sometimes because I'm genuinely happy it's finished or sometimes I've relieved that it's over)

15. OCs or no OCs?

For me, no OCs, just because I don't need them in my stories. But more the merrier for others, y'all have fun creating your little guys

16. Do you use sentence starters, writing prompts and/or fandom headcanons for your fanfics?

Most of my fics started out as writing prompts, tbh. My Killer and Healer fics now are mostly my own ideas/aus...unless i'm feeling really uninspired. But I do still use sentence starters or other ideas to kind of spark something, if again, my brain can't figure out what it wants to write

30. What writing software do you use?

I use Microsoft Word and it's the only writing software I will ever use

32. Past or present tense?

Past, for the most part. Sometimes my headcanons will be in present but my fics are mainly in past

38. Do you partake in any fanfic/writing events? (Big bangs, zines, NaNoWriMo, etc?)

I do not, actually. I did NaNoWriMo in like...8th grade but nothing since

44. Does fanart of your fanfic exist?

It does! For my fic Violence Is Never the Answer...Except When It Is, @a-single-log-bridge drew Chen Yuzhi with a katana! You can see the fanart here! (With this I am giving y'all permission to draw my fics, please god, draw my fics, I beg)

ask game for fanfic writers! ⌨️🖊📓📝 | send me asks

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Honestly, have no idea

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

Gonna copy my scene from my other ask that I got about this question, hang on

From my fic My One and Only (Killer and Healer mignon/vampire au)

“Jiang Yuelou” he breathed before he quickly knelt before him and cupped his face in his hands. “Jiang Yuelou” he whispered. Jiang Yuelou, however, didn’t answer, causing Chen Yuzhi to whimper before he reached out and carefully pulled him into his arms, hugging him gently but tightly. “I’m sorry. Jiang Yuelou, I’m so sorry. I lied…everything that I said was a lie. I’m sorry. I love you. I really, really love you. So please…please don’t leave me” he begged as he clung to him and buried his face in his neck. “Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me” he pleaded. Jiang Yuelou, however, didn’t answer again, causing Chen Yuzhi to let out another whimper before he hugged him tighter. “Please” he whispered, just as two strong, but gentle, arms came around him and hugged him back. “I won’t” a weak voice whispered, causing Chen Yuzhi to gasp and lift his head out of Jiang Yuelou’s neck as he looked at him with wide eyes. “Jiang Yuelou” he breathed as Jiang Yuelou slowly lifted his head and smiled at him. “Chen Yuzhi” he replied, causing Chen Yuzhi to let out a sob before he buried his face in his shoulder and hugged him tightly, making him smile weakly as he gave him a tight squeeze in return. “I’m here. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere” he whispered.

I just really like this scene because while Chen Yuzhi does like Jiang Yuelou throughout the fic, he's never like...expressed/reciprocated his feelings to Jiang Yuelou, who has. And now in this moment, when he's afraid Jiang Yuelou is going to die, he confesses that he loves him. And who doesn't love that trope, huh?

7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

Um...someone's always gonna get whumped, I know that much. Also, descriptions/dialogue...I've always been told I'm good at those...as well as staying in character/characters feel like how they do in canon, no matter the au. So I guess that? Idk (I'm never good about answering questions about my personal writing style because I don't pay attention to that sort of thing)

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

Longfic. Always longfic, especially when it comes to Killer and Healer. I mean, look at my fucking word count on ao3. Do I look like a drabble writer to you? (No offense to anyone who does drabbles, just could not be me)

Most times, I am a pantser. I've learned that plotting kind of stifles my creativity. The only time "plotting" has worked for me is figuring out what's going to happen in each chapter of my fic The Demon and the Angel.

And no, I do not. I like writing my long fics and I like figuring stuff out on the go. That's what makes writing fun to me

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

They're each hard in their own way, but I guess personally titles. Summaries for me are easy because I just take like a line/passage out of my fic and use that as the summary. Tags can be tricky too because I wanna make sure I tag everything that I think is in my fic but sometimes I can't tag everything (though I do try)

16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

At some point, I'm going to try a sci-fi fic, which I've never done before, so that'll be interesting. It's inspired by the Netflix Movie Rebel Moon and I think it'll be fun once I get around to it...and my brain stops plaguing me with other au ideas

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

My fic Monster Like Me had a completely different version before I decided I liked the current version better....but even getting to that version it took 3 rewrites, one complete deletion of the fic and original outline and a whole new rewrite to get to what it is today. And I have to say I like this version so much better than what it was originally. Did you know this fic took me almost a fucking month to write? That's the longest a oneshot has ever taken me. Ever

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Oh...I don't really have a lot of meta, at least not with the fic I'm currently working on. But with my Rebel Moon au, the idea actually came to me on my 7 hour plane ride home from Hawaii. I couldn't sleep at all nor did I play on my computer nor did I watch any movies...I just listened to music the entire time. And for most of the time, I listened to

on repeat. If you wanna read the rest of the story, I actually answered about the au over here

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

Well, I write most of my stories like they're a movie/drama, so movie/drama would work, because I see my writing (or any writing for that matter) like it's a movie playing in my head

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

A Killer and Healer Howl's Moving Castle au. I've always loved Howl's Moving Castle and I think it would work great as a K&H au, but I just don't know a) which couple to use because it could work both ways and b) when I'm ever going to have time to write it (because I am plagued with other au ideas all the damn time)

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Oh man, talking about fic ideas with your friends. Just gushing about how scenes would work/play out, who characters would be (if I'm inspiring a fic off of a drama/anime/movie/manga), what certain scenes will entail...stuff like that. That shit is fun. I mean, writing is fun too because you're taking what's in your brain and putting it on paper, but like...just brainstorming with your friends is fun

Fun meta asks for writers | send me asks

#sass answers #took 🐸#ask game for fanfic writers #ask game for fanfic writers! ⌨️🖊📓📝#fun meta asks for fic writers

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bunnidid-reviews · 11 months

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DID book Review

DID Book Review

Facts -

Book Title: Pieces of Me by Kate Mclaughlin

Publication date: 2023 (very recent!)

Fiction or Nonfiction: Fiction

Was there a diagnosis of DID? Yes! And very carefully done too

Was the person with DID presented as evil for having DID? Nope!

Major Trigger warning list:

- Mild sexual scenes/mentions of having sex

- Mentions of alcohol and vape usage

- A surprise suicide attempt (ch. 7-8) with descriptions of cutting and blood

- Lots of time spent in a hospital/psyche ward

- Loss of autonomy with lotsss of involvement with her family watching over her

- Non-descriptive incest

- Locking an alter away

Subjective Review(this is how I felt about it) -

Personal triggering scale from 1 to 10 (1 being not triggering at all, 10 being a badly overwhelming experience that might cause personal harm): 2 with the occasional 4-5(the surprise suicide attempt startled me)

Personal relatability scale from 1 to 10 (1 being unrelatable, 10 being OMG THAT’S ME!): 6

Personal avoidance scale from 1 to 10(1 being eager to get on with it, 10 being impossible to finish): 2, very easy!

My interpretation of the media(Includes spoilers):

The book opens with the main character waking up from a three-day long dissociative fugue state, beside a man she doesn’t quite recognize, but finds she can trust, beside her. Nothing dubious happened, there were no drugs or alcohol involved like she initially assumed (having a history with alcohol abuse and similar fugues). Our main character is sent into a spiral when her new friends address her as Lannie.. But her name’s Dylan.

We find out Dylan’s living a very idyllic life for the most part; her mother’s a semi-famous actress who’s able to give her two children a very comfortable life, including a nice house and letting them both study their respective arts. Dylan’s brother, Mark, is following in his mother’s footsteps into acting. Dylan finds herself to be the black sheep of the family in comparison, struggling with depression, anxiety and BPD all her life. There’s always something amiss with her that doctors haven’t yet figured out, particularly with the memory loss and dissociative tendencies. There’s obviously some tension in the family due to her having so many issues.

With this latest fugue state, it kicks off the search for an answer, any answer, as to why Dylan ends up in these situations. She finds art of hers in all different styles, and the characters she’s been drawing forever seemingly have a presence in her head. Her family and best friend become overbearing in the meanwhile, insisting she can’t be alone anymore, especially in the midst of her blooming romance with the mystery boy she woke up with, Connor. I appreciated that even in the book, Dylan finds it triggering to be so closely watched and loosing her autonomy, because personally that sounds like a nightmare.

After seeing some doctors in the search for something physically wrong with her, Dylan’s best friend suggests Dissociative Identity Disorder. Something she’d seen in youtube videos and did some further research into. She overloads Dylan with information, so she pulls away to process this all..

And wakes up again, this time evidently having attempted suicide in the bathtub.

That’s when the story cracks, and it’s taken from Dylan’s point of view to the other parts, as Dylan floats into the Inner world in a very vivid dream on the cusp of her attempt.

Her inner world is the same house she’d had some dreams of before, loaded with detail and personality that really makes the space her own, inside and out. She has a room of her own there, where she’s introduced to a host(ha) of new characters, like Lannie, Kaz, Dali, Alyss and Scratch. (Scratch being the one who evidently made the attempt on their life)

While in the hospital, Dylan goes through a carousel of parts, especially as her therapist works with her through taking the DES(Is that right? The diagnosis tests, all of em). Dylan is diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, and she launches herself straight into trying to understand herself with this fresh lens.

She goes quickly into trying to figure out what was The Trauma that did this to her, and everyone around her hedges around the same question. As she switches through her posse of alters, what’s left behind paints(or draws in this case) a pretty clear picture of childhood sexual abuse.. By who? No one knows. Everyone wants to know

After about two weeks or so in the hospital, Dylan comes home and gently eases into a life with DID very quickly, smoothly, easily. She builds relationships with her parts, especially Kaz and Lannie, who hang around often for daily life things. Her family, best friend and boyfriend all accept and love her as she is, even if they don’t always get it. But they try, especially the boyfriend, who studies up on helping his new girlfriend ground. (I thought that was very sweet, R does that for me)

It's decided though that Dylan needs to be monitored through her fugue states, and has very little privacy. This is shown.. As a good thing, now that she’s been diagnosed and all.. (I will expand on my thoughts here in a bit)

Halloween comes, it’s the twin’s birthday. Things are going very well, Dylan’s feeling very close to her system as they’d communicated more and switched out less. Life is on a high! She meets with her father and her little half sister and is able to rule out her father as any potential of having abused her…

And then the Uncle Travis shows up to the party. She just knows in her gut, all at once, that it was because of him.

In an instant, Dylan’s pulled back into the inner world to a movie theatre-like room, where all the Main Parts are gathered there. Monet, the part who greets them there, declares that it’s time to know Everything. So they sit down and watch all the memories together on the screen as a different part, Vincent, takes over the front. All together, they remember all the abuse that took place. (It’s described very vaguely, but there’s enough indication to understand that it’s grooming and repeated sexual abuse that took place with Uncle Travis)

Understandably, Dylan is overwhelmed and stays inside a few days. Lannie takes over. No one but the boyfriend had picked up that it was the uncle that did it yet, so the people around her are confused by the sudden change and kinda nudge for Dylan to come back out as soon as possible and adding pressure onto the “What Happened To You” thing again. With the therapists’ help, Lannie is able to switch back to Dylan and communicate to her mother that she can’t be pressured about telling her trauma.

At a family dinner out and about, Dylan is starting to pick up more and more of what makes her uncle a creep. With some concerning mentions of her little half sister spending time with him, she starts to panic when she sees he sits a little too close for comfort with the little sister, and as a hand touches her shoulder.. Dylan cracks.

Scratch comes out immediately, walks straight over and threatens Travis to keep his hands off and that she knows what he’d done. It’s enough to shake him off, the day is saved. the abuser is confronted.

When they get home from eating out, Dylan sits down her family(minus Travis) and explains that she now knows it’s Uncle Travis that had hurt her, and expresses concern for him to continuing the cycle of abuse with other girls, namely the little sister. Everyone is very accepting very quickly for her accusation of incest, but her father and brother stammer in shock to accept. This is snapped down on pretty quickly, though.

Dylan reports the uncle to the police very easily. Evidently everything is very cleanly taken care of because Uncle Travis is arrested shortly after. He attempts suicide in prison, and Dylan only feels the correct feelings feels no shame or apprehension, because he obviously only attempted it because he got caught.

Dylan has the perfect night with her boyfriend. With some warming up, they have the perfect sex.

Dali(the gatekeeper) and Scratch(Persecutor) relent their now obsolete roles and have a very nice, gentle fusion.

Everyone lives happily ever after in the land of functional multiplicity after a month and a half of being diagnosed!

~~~

This book is a Good book. By that I mean that it’s very very carefully written to be respectful and cleaned up to have the right representation. The kind of book you pat on the head and say “Good book!” like a pet who’s successfully fetched the morning paper. It’s written to be very appropriate without any explicit details especially with the trauma memories, to be good for teens to read. I’m absolutely certain that YA DID books are a good niche for this to fill.

But it’s.. Very.. Very clean for a DID representation.

I think all the details for the diagnosis process and healing are correctly written.. For a character who has all the privileges in the world handed to her. A good, honest family who genuinely loves her. Financial support enough that no medical assistance is barred off from her. A good boyfriend who immediately understands. Communication that goes really fucking well right off the bat, the ability to traverse the inner world very quickly.

An immediate understanding of who did it to her. Confrontation of her abuser and his very squeaky clean arrest. All the Correct Feelings. There’s no fighting back from a family confronting the reality of incestuous abuse. There’s no questioning her own memories or real denial portrayed with Dylan aside from a couple of tiny instances sprinkled in.

This is a good book, I’m sure!! But when I read it, I came away feeling.. like I was the dirty one, someone who wasn’t doing it ‘right’, because my healing is incredibly messy and I don’t have an ounce of support from my family like that. I have all the incorrect, messy feelings that lead me to me wanting my own sexual abuser to confirm that I’m lying and that I’m actually the one who hurt him, and have this massive terror of him facing consequences or being hurt.

I’m certain that a lot of the limitations to depth were due to a word count and a genre limitation, as well as the author’s inexperience with dissociation.

There’s a lot of leaning into some tropes that leave a slightly bitter taste in my mouth, like the insistence that Dylan is the Host and therefore Most Important Of Them All. The family having such a hands-on approach with how she heals makes my skin crawl(as I’m sure many others would feel, because a majority of childhood trauma survivors come from abusive, controlling families), as if Dylan is no longer trustworthy of her own safety because of her new diagnosis. The slap-on-the-persecutor’s-wrist-for-doing-their-job thing.

(By the way, I want to add that anyone who needs extra support for having a CDD is completely valid!! I do too! But having the family partake in this just.. aaaaa it feels very scary to me!! Especially since Dylan’s persecutor part is an introject of her own mother, and that’s.. Really not touched upon much at all)

The book is Correct. But it’s also.. I don’t know, it leaves me wondering who it’s written for, with such a sanitized version of DID shown here. I’m sure lots might actually find this book empowering, especially if you relate more to Dylan. It’s also a very very easy read because the triggers are kept thankfully super minimal. Maybe this is the book for you? It might be good for you, or it might be alienating, only you can be the judge of that. It feels more like a curiosity for those without a CDD to read(like the author herself)

What they got Right in my opinion:

- The research and terms used to describe trauma and dissociation seem all up to date

- Dylan gets a formal, proper diagnosis with both her therapist anddd a phycologist. (It sounds accurate based on what I’ve heard)

- Each of the Parts that part-take(hehe) in the book seem fleshed out and very well thought-through. They feel like very believable and real parts with believable attachments to each-other. The writer did really nice on building the relationships

- I really liked the grounding exercises they used in the book! (I tried the one of thinking of animals for the first 5 letters of the alphabet, it really worked?) The boyfriend using multiple senses to calm her down from overstimulation was really nice(a lottt like what R does,..ahh I miss him so)

- I liked that Dylan was an artist and had actually been drawing Lannie all her life.

- Scratch being an introject of her mother and having references to the movie Coraline actually line up pretty well with the age Scratch probably split off from, so I found that a bit sneat

- I liked that Scratch was the one to call out her abuser to protect her little sister, because Scratch was made of resentment for her mother’s not protecting her.

- Subtle clues throughout that Dylan has trauma before the diagnosis(aversion to touch, inability to connect to people, past alcohol abuse)

What they got Wrong in my opinion:

- The extreme ease to which Dylan accesses the inner world, starts communicating and figuring out her memories within… 2 weeks…?

- Hardly an ounce of denial, either from Dylan, or any of the characters around her. A lot of people aren’t open to understanding DID like that, or even accepting it as a reason for why the way you are.

- I almost feel like it’s dangerous to insinuate that you should trust your family with so many details about your disorder. (Driven by DID youtube, I told my mom everything once and I’ve regretted it horribly since. This is a memory disorder!! BE CAREFUL OF WHO YOU TELL!! People take advantage of that!!!!!!)

- Again, in the case of incest in the family, I highly highly doubt telling the family about it ever goes this smoothly. Especially since this is for teens, who likely still have to live with their families, I worry about the influence of ‘must trust your family with details’ might have (again speaking from experience :’) ) I really would have preferred if Dylan’s safety was a found family thing instead

- The reporting it to the police and having everything solved extremely easily is just.. Insulting to anyone who’s actually had to go through that. Especially for those of who never could find the safe resolve they deserve :(

- Blackout switches nearly every switch

- The many mentions of locking away and punishing Scratch for attempting suicide was really difficult to read.. Especially when this was shown as a net positive

- Host Is Most Important Part trope

- Host is the only one who Doesn’t Know Yet trope

- Everything happening in like 2 months???? Extremely easy healing

- No conflicting worries or feelings about Travis, just all the Right emotions pretty much right away(hatred, desire for justice, ect)

- A weird line of thinking about how Dylan Created this, as if she had any choice in splitting.

Would I recommend this to someone with DID to read?: It’s up to you. In some cases, positive reps with happy endings might be just what you need, so I say go for it! But in other cases, it might fuel denial or feelings of self hatred for not being ‘easy’ like this.

If you choose to read, please keep these two things in your pocket: This story is about someone who’s incredibly privileged, and You are not Broken for not healing in 2 MONTHS

#pieces of me #Kate McLaughlin #dissociative identity disorder #complex dissociative disorder #DID in media #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder fiction #dissociative identity disorder book #did book #bunnidid reviews

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kenora-pizza · 1 month

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Musical Musings - TTTE edition, Part 2

ALRIGHT!

My first musical analysis post has been getting a LOT of attention in the past few days or so. So first off, thank you for the love everyone, that was one of my favourite posts to make (besides the crackhead Gordon and Henry shitpost and my "Emily in the middle" rant). Second, since it appears that people like this sorta thing, I figured I'd share a couple more things that I've noticed, one of which I didn't put in the first post cause I figured people had already noticed it so it didn't need to be said. But I think I'll put it in anyways, just because. So let's get into it!

In pt. 1, I talked about the fact that Henry's theme has an occurrence of "3," in that each of the 4 beats in a bar was a triplet, and how Henry is the number 3 engine. Well, I was listening to his theme again and found two more occurrences of "3" in the introductory bars of the theme. For reference, I am talking about this part:

Each bar has the following rhythm:

Now, the first occurrence of 3 comes from the fact that the first 3 beats have the same rhythm, as shown in the above image. The second occurrence of 3 comes from the fact that the last beat of the bar is a triplet. 3 notes. Tack on the first occurrence of 3 from the first post, and you're 3 for 3 for NWR no. 3. HMMM........

2. Continuing with the subject of Henry's theme, this observation has probably already been made several times over, but I figured I'd put it in to continue the "Henry's theme" trend. If you take a listen to Henry's sad theme, you'll notice that its repeating motif is part of Henry's main theme in a different, minor, key with a different rhythm and at a slower tempo.

Take a listen.

The opening fragment of Henry's main theme:

The main motif of Henry's sad theme:

And in sheet music:

Henry's theme (Eb major):

Henry's sad theme (B minor):

The numbers indicate the note's position within its scale. As you can see, both themes share the same note pattern. To get Henry's sad theme, you'd transpose the theme down a diminished 4th (i.e, move the notes down by this interval) to B major, and then adjust the D# and G# in the resulting melody to D natural and G natural to fit within the B minor scale so that it sounds sad. Nice job, Mike & Junior, very clever.

Just in case anyone is confused, the notes for the B major & minor scales are shown below:

3. Donald and Douglas' CGI whistles are the notes of C and A respectively. These notes are related in a couple of ways. The first/lowest note on a standard 88-key piano is an A, and the last/highest note is a C. Given the twins' original BR numbers (57646 & 57647 respectively), it appears that Douglas is the younger of the two, so their whistle notes make sense in this context. Additionally, as mentioned in pt. 1, the keys of C major and A minor are related in that they share a key signature of no accidentals (ie, no sharps, flats, double sharps or double flats, yes those last two exist and they gave me hell as a kid). Thus, the whistle notes would make sense in this context.

You'll often see modulation from either C major to A minor or vice versa in classical music. Two contrasting, yet complimentary keys with their own characters and personalities which work well together. Just like Donald and Douglas.

4. I was rewatching some of the season 7 episodes which have Arthur in them. And I think I kinda forgot how fucking huge this guy is. I also noticed just how low his whistle is in comparison to the other tank engines, perhaps emphasizing his bigger size and his more serious attitude in comparison to them.

Whew, this was a long post. I hope you guys enjoy this post as much as you did the last one.

#ttte #thomas and friends #thomas the tank engine #ttte musical analysis #ttte whistles #ttte themes #Hats off to Mike and Junior for creating such an iconic soundtrack

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secretsandwriting · 1 year

Text

Comfort Streamer

Part Three: Ruinforfun

When a sick Dream goes searching for a stream to watch. He stumbles across a viewerless stream and decides to join, finding a new comfort streamer for himself and others and maybe play a little matchmaker in the process.

After the slight disaster of a stream you had sat down to dinner with your roommate to try and figure out how to continue with everything. There was quite a bit to do considering the fact you had gone from 7 viewers to about 1 million. A lot of things needed to be figured out.

“It was bound to happen eventually. Now we just have to figure out how to handle it. You already have people sending in Mod applications or something like that so then all you have to do is go through them. So the only thing that really needs to be figured out is how you're going to separate the CCs from everyone else and who’s going to mod it.” Ry stated, pointing her fork at you.

“I mean, I could do a discord group and have it next to chat on my monitor and I could make a private twitter for them if I really wanted but like you said. Who’s going to mod it? I don’t want to risk anyone making them feel anything but normal.” That was the part that kept tripping you up. You had worked so hard to try and make them feel normal and you weren’t going to stop but now it would be harder

“Do mod interviews? I feel like that's something you should be able to do? But then again I know little to nothing about this.”

“Could you mod it? I know you don’t really know anything about discord or twitch and I’ll help you learn it! There's always youtube too! I know you’d treat them normally! Please!”

“You know Y/n, sometimes I really hate you!”

“Yes! Thank you so much! I’ll help with discord today because it’s easy and then we should have you learn twitch too just in case I need any another mod or if I do a stream with only the CCs”

“You’re lucky I love you.”

With that, you went back to eating and thinking about everything you needed to get done before your next stream.

“Hello!” You smiled as you tried to read the chat but it was going by too fast. “Alright, first things first any streamers in chat that liked how it was before I got leaked message one of the mods. There's a discord chat set up for you guys so you're not bombarded everytime you chat.”

“Now onto business. Welcome everyone! I’m glad you all could come! Make sure you follow my stream rules, there in the top right corner of the screen. Alright, now that the important stuff is out of the way let's play some Animal Crossing!”

User1: Hi! Just got here!

User2: I love how chill this is!

User3: Any tips for noobs?

User4: What streamers are in the discord?

User5: on a scale of 1-10, how willing would you be to punch dream in the face?

“How willing would I be to punch Dream in the face? 10. I crave violence.”

Dream: WHAT???

Sapnap: LMAO

Georgenotfound: Sucks to be you I guess

Punz: “I crave violence” You almost cried when 2 creepers almost blew you up. You probably wouldn’t hurt a fly

“How many bells do you guys think I could get if I sold this fossil?” Ignoring the light bickering going on in both the chats you continued on, trying not to let the growing viewer count make you nervous.

Previous -- Masterlist -- Next

#Awesamdude x reader #awesamdude #awesamdude x reader smau #dmsp #dsmp x reader #dsmp x reader smau #dmsp smau #Awesamdude smau #awesamdude social media au #dsmp social media au #social media au #fem reader

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ashes-writing-corner · 5 months

Text

So I'm actually in the process of writing my dragon rider AU, and I wanted to go ahead and include Farah in my little headcanons/fun facts series. As always, dragon art credit goes to Kenny Kwan arts on Instagram. Check it out his art is amazing ^^

Also yes I'm aware I added an extra r in her name in the pic, but as I made this months ago I really don't wanna go back and correct it. I'm so sorry guys :(

Farah and Zaircai

Farah

1. Farah is a dragon rider from another country, Keshye, which is across the sea from Athana.

2. Unlike Edren and Athana, the people of Keshye view dragons as creatures worthy of great reverence. While it's an honor to become a rider, becoming one for Keshyan dragon is harder.

3. Farah was ten when she first approached Zaircai, a dragon who had been feeding off of local livestock for ages and was becoming a tad problematic. Three years of training, bonding, and hard work on both sides earned a strong partnership.

4. Farah is an expert with a longbow, both in the air and on the ground.

5. She rides Zaircai mostly bareback, as saddles and reins are considered taboo when claiming a dragon in Keshye.

6. It takes a lot of balance and a LOT of trust, but she can even stand on Zaircai when in the air, knowing her Winged Shadow will not let her fall.

7. She wants to see the whole world from the back of her dragon, and make records and maps from her findings.

8. Doesn't agree with how Athanians "lock away" their dragons in Dragon's Keep. It's only after talking with Simon and Nova that Farah gets why Dragon's Keep was truly built.

9. Her people also view Wildfyre, the first dragon, as a sort of god-like figure. For Edren and Athana, Wildfyre was a tyrant to be feared and deposed. But to the Keshyen people he was a symbol of freedom and the wild that made up their homeland.

10. She and her brother once served as egg couriers as they sought out new riders. When it was revealed he was stealing and selling the eggs to those who wanted to use the hatchlings inside for other, more nefarious purposes, Farah and Zaircai had no choice but to stop him by any means necessary...

Zaircai

1. A rather young dragon, maybe in his 70s at this point. He doesn't really keep track of his age.

2. Farah calls him her Winged Shadow because he's always there even when she's not on his back.

3. Zaircai tends to overheat easily due to the black of his scales. Because of this, he's often found swimming in any nearby body of water to keep cool.

4. He claimed Farah just as much as she claimed him. They chose each other if anyone asks them.

5. Farah is his first rider, and he's not sure if he'll want another once she's gone.

6. Breathes flames of black with veins of silver.

7. His head and neck are lined with sharp spikes, similar to another dragon I might write about later. It's believed the two may be related but its never entirely addressed, as it's one he REALLY doesn't want to be associated with.

8. At first, Zaircai only lets Farah touch him, until they meet Alex the Wanderer and his dragon, Visha.

9. Is a bit spoiled admittedly, a trait that all Keshyen dragons share.

10. Farah was not the first to try and claim him, just the only successful one to. Many tried only to be burned for their efforts.

And that's Farah and Zaircai! I feel like they're gonna be a fun pair to write, and even more so when Alex is thrown into the mix. Not sure who I'll do next, maybe Graves and his dragon, Vera. Anyway, let me know what you guys think! As I said I'm actually working on turning this into a full fledged fic. So keep an eye out for that! Don't forget to be awesome ^^

#dragons #dragon rider au #fantasy #cod fanfic #farah karim #farah cod #cod headcanons #fantasy au #fantasy headcanons

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greycappedjester · 7 months

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I know it’s a lot of characters to sort but if you don’t mind sharing, where would you say the people in the DA fall in the spectrum of trust and fondness for Headmaster Ukai? On one side we have Oikawa who definitely does not trust or seemingly like him, and then we have Noya (I think?) who suggested the name Ukai’s army so he probably has some degree of trust/fondness for him. Where do most of the characters fall within that scale?

Oooh good question! I'd say it's currently*...

*in the 5th story for people who come across this post later. Since this list will certainly change

Least Trust:

1.) Oikawa-he doesn't trust practically anyone rn outside of his small group of friends and he especially doesn't trust people in authority and 2x especially anyone who was involved in the last war. Oikawa lives in rage and is definitely curently #1 to Stab an Authority Figure in their Sleep

2.) Daishou-this is definitely a lot less than Oikawa but I'd still say he'd be next in list sicne he is 1.) a Slytherin who aren't the most trusting bunch to begin with, 2.) raised around Uncle/Minister who never trusted Ukai and would likely let some of that slip, 3.) Knows how much of a fake his Uncle/Minister is and likely thinks Ukai as the other major war general hero is much the same

3.) Iwaizumi-oddly not because of that thing with the 2nd Task but that didn't help. Nah, Iwa-chan still definitely holds a grudge about that thing with Oikawa and the veritaserum from the begginning of 4th...even tho technically Oikawa took that by semi-choice

4.) Kuroo-similar to Daishou, he's way too familiar with politicians with fake public faces. Nothing really aganist Ukai in particular, just not big on public people who everyone seems to praise (which Ukai definitely was as a war general hero before this year with all the bad press aganist Hogwarts)

Ambivalent Range ie The I'm Just Not That Trustfull Bunch:

5.) Mika-matches up with Daishou in that she's not too trusting of anyone who technically has powr over her (by being her Headmaster)

6.) Yaku- Teenage Curmudgen(TM)

7.) Tsukishima- Teenage Misanthrope (TM)....ranks more trusting than Yaku since Tsuki's experience with Minister last year made his ostensible rival (the Headmaster) look better by comparison

8.) Makki & Matsu- Come On We're Still Slytherins Duo....really it's just that they have a bone deep rebellious streak and a long history of pranking

He's Alright, I Guess? Range:

9.) Kenma- Has genuinely never thought of the Headmaster much

10.) Ennoshita- Headmaster's way better than the Minister...2nd least trusting of the Crows so he sitll holds some resentment because of how the werewolf stuff was handled in 3rd story but likes that the Headmaster was able to keep it a secret from the press and student body

11.) Amani- Is a pretty friendly person in general

12.) Shimizu- Certified Teacher Friend (in a good, non-suck up way). I mean, come on, she's been a library assistant for forever. She was 100% the kid on the playground who would rather sit by the tachers and read quietly (this was me in elementary btw). She desn't really know the Headmaster but has genrally positive feelings towards the Hogwarts faculty

13. ) Yamaguchi- 3rd least trusting of Crows, too much time around Tsuki. Still has complicated feelings about 3rd story stuff. Pretty similar to Ennoshita, but Yamaguchi was raised more in the wizarding world so still has more of the Ukai-Great-War-General vibes

14.) Kageyama-Wait, what does this have to do about Quidditch?

Yes, I like Him Range:

15.) Yachi- "While there are some things I feel complicated about [insets paragraph] I also accept that human beigns are naturally flawed and that becasue he also did many good things like [inserts multiple paragraphs], I generally feel that our Headmaster is a good person though subject to human flaws as we all are" (Questioner has long since tuned out). Basically, Yachi's a good egg who recognizes flaws but aslo that everyone's a bit complicated

16.) Daichi-Genuinely appreciative of everything he's done for Asahi to let him attend and cover up aspects of what happened in 3rd.

The You Could Stab Me And I'd Say "Hey, You Dropped Your Knife" Crew....ie the just really trusting in genral bunch

17.) Bokuto- :)

18.) Hinata- :) (Oikawa voice in the background): He drugged you and left you in a forest! Hinata: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Headmaster is a Badass! Group/ Most Trusting and Genuinely Admire Him:

19.) Lev-Dude, Headmaster Ukai fought aganist the Giant! He's Awesome (But Scary)

20.) Tanaka- complicated family history which makes him greatly look up to a hero of the war who put a lot of Ghosts behind bars

21.) Asahi- Is very appreciative of Ukai for letting him attend Hogwarts and helping him with all the necessary paperwork

22.) Suga-Is so adamantly aganist his family's legacy that it fuels a bit of a blind side of viewing Headmaster's faults. He really does have some very secific blinders that come on when it comes to his family legacy. Overly trust figure of the oposite side is likely one of them.

23.) Noya- 2x admiration since Ukai also helped his uncle get in when he was a student and then helped Asahi and just in general has been just very cool about helping students of various creature legacies (like veelas, werewolves, dhampir, etc) into Hogwarts. Also Ukai's a war hero

Bonus:

Akaashi-who needs trust when I've got foresight?

In other words, Akaashi's too weird on what "trust" as a concept even is to put him on this list. How do you view trust when you genrally know for a sorta-fact how people will behave?

#hq at hogwarts

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dungeonmastersconsortium · 1 year

Text

TW: Mental Health

I struggled a lot with deciding whether or not to make this post. At various times while writing it, I have thought that it was (either separately, some simultaneously, or all together) vain, self-deprecating, self-indulgent, selfish, attention seeking, or too depressing for anyone else to read. And if you continue past this point, heads up: it probably is these things at various times.

For those of you that don't know, I have Bipolar 1 and Borderline personality disorder. I have been actively putting in the work for a few years to get myself toward a better place mentally. Therapy, psych, meds, you name it, I've been doing it. I firmly believe it's important to do the work. (Honestly, you should go to therapy too.) I need to start off by saying this because it's an important foundation for the rest of this post.

My pair of SWEET mental illnesses manifest together in various ways. Individually, they're kind of what you might expect. Take the Bipolar 1. If you've known me for a long time and we interact in person, socially, I GUARANTEE you have experienced one of my manic episodes, and possibly benefitted from it in some way. I'm "lucky" in that the way my manic/hypomanic episodes manifest is mostly in ways that don't directly harm people, especially physically. I get VERY charismatic and outgoing. Very impulsive. WAY more social. I get very generous with my friends, moreso than normal. These also have some really bad downsides, but they aren't the things that would get me hospitalized. (Except for a couple instances of auditory hallucination back in my younger days. Hasn't happened in over a decade, though.) But my impulsivity has hurt people's feelings when I do something careless. I've developed coping mechanisms for this that allow me to more responsibly indulge in mania (which DOES feel great, unfortunately) without harming anyone usually.

Y'all also definitely know I can get pretty depressed. It happens. It happened a LOT in the past. A little less often now. Part of the bipolar thing too.

In short, I feel things much more strongly than neurotypical folks. This applies to all emotional states. While not everything I feel is extreme, the strength at which I feel things has a greater capacity for highs and lows. I guess the best way to explain it would be that most neurotypical folks have an emotional capacity from 1-10, and it's a pretty even scale, proportional to events that occur to trigger that emotional state. I would characterize myself as having a 1-20 scale. One problem is that my emotional scale isn't exactly EVEN. The higher the initial emotional reaction, the more likely it is to slide up the scale if left unchecked. If I'm not careful, something that solicits a reaction of, say, 7, will work its way up higher and higher.

You've heard of people being "overcome by emotion," and I can tell you that it's… SOMETHING. My previous therapist described it as not just a negative thing, he referred to it as a kind of superpower. While yes, I can feel sadness, despair, anger, hopelessness, and outrage at incredibly strong levels, I also experience joy, love, excitement, and passionate at similarly high levels. This can be VERY dangerous if left unchecked for me. A strong "active" emotion like excitement, joy, or anger can trigger a full manic episode.

Every day is work for me, mentally. One of the things 3 separate therapists and 2 psychologists have told me is that I'm very good at metacognition. Metacognition is, in short, thinking about thinking. I'm pretty good at tracking my own thought patterns and examining root causes of present emotions. I'm pretty dang good at this point especially at pointing out to my partners when I can feel the mania or depression coming on. (Which I think they're pretty grateful for lmao) It helps me regulate my emotions, as I can usually backtrack something and figure out when/why it is that way. My last therapist told me it makes his job both easier and harder, because most people have trouble identifying their own thought patterns and processes in therapy, which is why they're in therapy.

I have, both inadvertently and on purpose, developed a lot of tools to help manage my behaviors. In general terms, the best metaphor I can think of is a sheepdog trying to herd a particularly unruly herd of sheep, with no fence. Part of me is just trying to get out, even though it'll objectively be bad for me. The other part of me is constantly running circles around the herd, doing its best to keep everything within safe boundaries. There's a problem with this, though, that the metaphor is also handy for.

A dog can't run forever. At some point, it's going to get tired. It's going to need a break, to rest. Even when the sheep aren't actively trying to get away, just remaining vigilant in place can be tiring. Because it KNOWS they're gonna try to get away again.

My biggest problem over the last couple years is… Hard to talk about. I've trained myself to be able to regulate, but it's a LOT of work. It can be VERY frustrating even when great things are happening, because I can't just let go and enjoy something, as if I let it go too far, it might be bad news. I keep myself in check because I don't want to hurt other people. In my deepest, most authentic self, I don't want to hurt anyone. But it's TIRING.

I think it's why one of my love languages is acts of service and gift giving. (Both giving and receiving.) Someone taking something off my plate without me having to ask is VERY meaningful to me, especially since I have a hard time asking for help. (Part of the whole 'not wanting to make my mental health other people's problem thing.) Gifts also show me concrete proof that other people think about me and care about me during the times I can't remember that any other way. If you've ever been in my office/game room, I'm surrounded by tokens of my friends'/partners'/former students' affection.

The big problem is that… This is kinda the rest of my life. It's a lot of work, with no end in sight if I want to be the person I want to be. Looking out over the horizon of years that I have remaining, however many that might be… The task seems daunting and despair inducing. A prior therapist suggested DBT, but I HAVE the tools to cope, which is what DBT offers. DBT involves twice weekly sessions, one individually and one group, where you learn the skills to deal with your strong emotions, your relationship with attachment, (whether you actively avoid, push away, or attach too strongly,) and develop the tools to handle it. And there's a lot of homework. A LOT. And diary work. And that's why it was never going to work for me. I ALREADY do the mental lists, the metacognition, the identification. The thought of duplicating that work only made the despair worse.

Sometimes I just want to let everything go and be truly reckless for a little while. (No, not like in a stupid "my jokerification moment" kind of way.) Not because I want to hurt other people, but because.. Well, selfishly, it's not fair to have to be this vigilant all the time. It's constant work that I have to do that others don't have to do. It's exhausting and tiring, and there's no therapy that can really address that part of my brain. The frustrating part of therapy and psychiatry is that there's a focus on bringing the patient/client to as close they can to functioning in society, and I put in a LOT of work. There's a lot that I can say about how much it sucks that the SOCIETY we're supposed to be a part of (USA + Capitalism) says, "get on board or fucking die," and does not do any work to accommodate us. But that's a whole other conversation, and this post is already REALLY long.

There's not much of a point here. There's no moral. I guess I just wanted to share my struggle. Maybe someone else will see this and relate. I know it's difficult to find. If you google, "why didn't DBT work for me," you'll get mostly articles talking about how it works for 70-77% of people with BPD, or forum posts telling those asking this question (usually asked in frustrated, despairing tones) that they just didn't work hard enough. Or buy in to the program enough.

I find that insulting. I do work hard, because I think the work is WORTH it. But a lifetime of work like this is daunting when you consider it as a whole, not just as the present. So I try to take it a moment at a time. A day at a time. A week, maybe.

I guess I'll close with a quote from The Good Place. Because I just binge watched it again last weekend.

“I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put, we are not in this alone.”

-Chid Anagonye

#bipolar #bpd #borderline personality disorder #dbt

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beautifulpersonpeach · 1 year

Note

Do you think jimin’s debut will be affected by the many projects happening right now? The fandom is already overwhelmed and (broke lol). Why does if feel like as fans we have to pick which member we have to support because a lot of us can’t support them all at the same time! And i mean financially before anyone jumps me

***

Hi Anon,

Of course, Jimin’s project will be affected by all the releases around March 24th. Fall Out Boy, Lana Del Ray, Morgan Wallen etc all releasing music around the same time, will be a nuisance on the charts since they have more support. ARMYs will just need to do what they do and hope for the best.

But that’s not really what you’re asking. To answer your actual question:

It’s possible Namjoon’s collab project impacts some of the gun powder in the fandom for Jimin’s solo project. But even if this happened, the impact would be negligible. In my opinion.

Personally, I don’t fully understand the worry around multiple projects dropping around the same time. To me this honestly is the sort of thing someone who either spends time in solo-stan adjacent spaces would say (or else they’d notice the same complaint coming from six other quarters), or someone who doesn’t think all that highly of the fandom’s effort when it comes to specific members, relative to that person’s expectations.

It’s true that everyone’s financial situation is different and so not everyone can multiply their k-pop spending by 7 (and even more than that if we count collabs). But the fandom is huge enough that there’s a wide variance in spending power and ultimately, the boys’ efforts will be supported. As a couple of examples: ARMYs raised $100,000 in 24 hours on a whim to support MeganTheeStallion during her fight with her label in 2021 (also for charity). ARMYs have sold out car models before, in between back-to-back tours. In my case, I work hard for my money, have always been the sort of music fan who puts her money where her mouth is, and I actually like all seven members and so I have no problem spending on them if I like the music. And I’m certainly not the only ARMY like this. If your concern is financial support, then I honestly don’t understand why you’d be worried.

With one exception:

It’s true that Chapter 2 has allowed those more inclined to like only one or two members, to detach more from the rest of the group. I’m talking the sorts of people who while BTS were in Chapter 1 as a group, mostly tuned in for their favourite member(s), and now that those people are not required to support BTS as a group, they will only focus on the select members they like. These people wouldn’t think of themselves as solo stans, and in fact many of them have enough awareness to usually avoid the more poisonous behaviours of akgaes, but they essentially function like solo stans and will be less inclined to support other members in the band. And really, that’s all good and fine. We all like what we like, after all.

What I’ve observed though is those people happen to be the same ones sensitive to seeing other people like them, who happen to not support their favourite member(s). It’s ironic, but predictable. And yes the fandom has certainly fractured more in Chapter 2, leaving a smaller core of OT7 ARMYs to consistently support every member even as they are still figuring out how to replicate BTS-scale success targets 7 times over. But these are growing pains necessary for the fandom to mature. In my humble opinion. So while some see it as the fandom getting burned out, I see it as the core of the fandom reaching a more realistic equilibrium. These are real changes happening in the fandom that I think your ask alludes to and it’s fair to acknowledge it.

But that aside,

I doubt there’s the expectation for every ARMY to spend beyond their means to support BTS. If you can’t afford it, don’t sweat it because financial contribution through music/merch purchases is only one of several ways to support BTS and any of the members. Streaming/listening to their music, recommending it to friends and family, requesting it on radio, making fake make-up line ads on TikTok, hosting parties with their music, making fan-art, etc, are all ways to support that aren’t financially cantered but still mean a whole lot.

Jimin’s album release will do well, and I think almost just as well as if Joon’s release never happened. Since I’m nearly certain that’s why you’re asking. At the end of the day, so long as you’re actively listening to their music, enjoying it, and encouraging the people around you to do the same, this might sound cliche, but what I’ve observed with BTS and ARMYs is that those things ultimately mean more and eventually lead to positive financial returns to the guys.

Rest assured Jimin will be getting laid paid in 2023. The fandom will make sure of it.

#including his solo stans #PJMs are many things but one thing even I can see is those mfs are dedicated to the cause #it’s a shame so many of them can be a bit stupid #but there’s a bit of that in ARMY too #lol #anyway #pre-order FACE #get ready for RM’s collab too #personally I just get excited at the prospect of good music in general #park jimin #jimin #Namjoon #BTS #bts army #bts fandom #fandom behaviour

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old-school-butch · 5 months

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The gaza graph stops at 2020 though?

Yes it takes time to collect data and when there's a war on nobody is a trustworthy source. The numbers generated at the beginning of the conflict seemed far too high to me, and now they seem too low. Identifying and collecting the dead takes time, so we won't know exact numbers for a while, but there's nothing stopping you from using your own reasoning abilities and subtracting the casualties and seeing if it makes an impact. Hamas claims to have 20,000 fighters, at least 5000 have been killed. If the 2:1 mortality ratio to civilians continues in this combat - which is incredibly low for this sort of combat, Gazans will expect to lose 40,000 people if every single fighter in Hamas is killed. I would expect Israel to lose approximately 6-10,000 in the process if they are drawn into house-to-house urban combat. None of the figures we have seen, or are likely to see, indicate deaths on the scale of a genocide for either side.

However - the war isn't over. A lot can change in combat - so far the Israelis have focused on Hamas tunnels, where they can assume 100% of the people in there are combatants and civilians aren't in danger (except, of course, their own hostages which complicates this considerably). That focus has led to a low civilian death count (I know it doesn't sound like it from the Hamas PR machine, but IDF has been extraordinarily precise in its engagements so far). Hamas hasn't really engaged the IDF in open combat - they are no match in training or equipment. They used the advantage of surprise to break the ceasefire on Oct. 7 and make a deadly strike against Israel, but they haven't prepared defensive positions for themselves or shelter for their people in the context of a ground war. Their general tactics offer concealment for their fighters but are deadly for their own civilians - they don't wear uniforms and are indistinguishable from civilians, they fire rocket from house basements and set up snipers in apartment buildings, they encourage civilians not to evacuate so the IDF has to stop and pause and find their correct target with every engagement. But on the whole, Hamas seems to have mostly mingled with civilians and fled south, which now necessitates an entirely new assault and plan to follow them there, and more relocation and lack of humanitarian supplies for the civilians getting shuffled around. I don't know how that will go.

Gaza city isn't as destroyed as Fallujah or Mariupol - but many people will return home to find rubble. The tunnels Hamas has dug all over the city weren't exactly up to code, and the bunker-busting bombs the IDF has used to collapse the tunnels has destroyed buildings that were not targets, but just near targets - collapsing into the sinkholes when the tunnels collapse. That's damage on top of just conventional fighting above ground. Rebuilding will be difficult and expensive. Hamas has, historically, said that building and education is the job of the UN, not them. I doubt the PIJ is any different. The UN might take on the task, but taking care of the humanitarian elements will allow any new leadership to focus all their efforts on the next jihad, so that can't be ignored. Israel might re-occupy Gaza and rebuild - mostly for their own security concerns - but I don't think that's a great option for anyone. If Palestinians want self-government of their own state, it's time to get on with that process and declare a state, form a government, and then go about normalizing relationships with its neighbors and start rebuilding. In the long run, peace is not just running from one ceasefire to another. An actual peace must be established, allowing everyone to flourish in a future they can build on.

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inkribbon796 · 7 months

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Egotober 2023 Day 17: Like a Pitcher Plant

Summary: Janus is a living lie detector and he can spot one from a mile away.

Prompt: Flower

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31

Virgil wasn’t sure when his cousin got involved in whatever he was involved with back then. Or when Virgil figured out how they were making rent. Apparently Gainesville had been a great place before Dark got involved in the place.

When Virgil was little the city had been a relatively safe, now not so much. And Janus had promised to keep Virgil safe. Janus was five years older than him and quite possibly the most dangerous person. And Virgil had ever met a lot of dangerous people in the last two years. Only one of those he’d been actually working with Janus.

Today he was actually meeting Dark, which actually terrified Virgil.

Janus had invited along one of Virgil’s friends Remus, mostly to keep him from burning down whichever of Janus’s buildings he was around.

Janus himself was sitting at the end of a small table. Half of his face scaled like a snake’s. He was looking at a gold-colored pocket watch and he looked upset. Virgil’s phone showed the exact time that Dark had agreed to be there.

Virgil was in his black and purple cloak, hood drawn low over his eyes and a black neck gaiter covering the bottom of his face. His fingers tapped nervously on the table.

Janus sent over a small yellow snake, one of the magical creatures he was summoning more often. They calmed Virgil down considerably.

Then at 6:01 exactly on the dot, by Virgil’s phone at least, a shrill ringing and a red and blue chromatic portal ripped its way open into the room.

Dark stepped through, as if clawing his way through the portal, pushing it further open. Behind him stepped out three other people. One of them in a bright blue puppy dog mask that covered half his face, the top covered with light blue and white wildflowers. One in a green suit with a green fedora. The third was taller in a black pinstripe shirt and black gelled hair.

Virgil held one of Janus’s pet serpents closer, trying and failing not to be terrified.

Janus audible clicked his pocket watch shut. “Hmm, if the time we agreed to didn’t work out, we could have set one that did.”

“Deceit, I presume,” Dark said, pointedly refusing to answer.

“Yes, I was wondering when you’d actually show up,” Janus said, standing up and walking around the table.

Dark looked Janus up and down, “You’ve been making a considerable amount of trouble for me.”

“This was my town before you set foot here,” Janus said.

“Well times change,” Dark said.

Janus wasn’t happy, Virgil could see and feel it but Virgil felt alright, like everything was alright and it was just going to—

Then Janus looked over at the bright blue ensemble, “I suggest if you don’t want a war, you tell your little friend to stop what he’s doing.”

Fedora and Pinstripe seemed to tense up but Dark smiled and gestured with his hand.

Flower Boy smiled and looked over at Dark.

Virgil felt a bit more apprehension which was a bit more normal, and made him panic a little bit.

“You’re more sensitive than I gave you credit for, usually your type doesn’t notice what my dear Pathos is doing.” Dark held his hand up and the other two steps forward. “Janus, meet three of my top enforcers. Pathos, of course, along with Philly and Author.”

“Sup,” Author smiled.

“Why is only one of them in a mask?” Virgil asked.

Dark didn’t seem bothered by the question, “The heroes in Egoton have been a bit of a bad influence on him, sad to say.”

“I like the pretty costumes,” Pathos, Patton, said. His hands framed his face in a way that was supposed to look cute and to Virgil it was. But to Janus it set his teeth on edge.

His voice was familiar, but Virgil didn’t know why.

“The heroes in Egoton have begun multiplying and I refuse to deal with children, which is why my next crop of enforcers will be dealing with them instead.”

“Don’t see what that has to do with my city,” Janus said.

“Bing and Sharp are stationed in this city, and I refuse to give an inch of my territory to a group of brightly colored children.” Dark was giving Janus a smug look.

Before Janus could give an appropriate barbed response, there was a loud noise that made everyone except Dark jump, and Dark actively looked like he’d received the worst kind of minor inconvenience.

Virgil looked and saw what had happened and saw Anti crumpled up against the wall right before he sprung up.

“Sup,” Anti said as he grabbed a chair.

“What are you doing here?” Dark asked.

“Bothering you, it’s my favorite hobby,” Anti said with his Cheshire-like grin.

“This is why the heroes think we’re a League,” Dark said. “You keep showing up where you’re not wanted.”

“I show up exactly when I want to, hey brats,” Anti said.

“Sup,” Author said.

“Hi, Anti,” Pathos waved.

Anti glitched over to Patton and tapped at the flowers on his head.

“I look great,” Patton said.

“Sure,” Anti said and then glitched over to where Remus and Virgil were.

Virgil flinched, Remus did not. And Remus got the brunt of Anti’s attention because of it.

“Hello,” Anti smiled. His eyes began turning coal black and his form began glitching.

Remus chuckled as he held Anti’s gaze.

As a reward he got a slightly warmer smile from the glitch demon. “I like you, you got a name, kid?” Anti said.

“They just call me the Duke,” Remus said.

“Perfect, love it,” Anti said.

Then the glitch demon smiled at Dark, glancing back at the other demon. “Hey, asshat, you should adopt this one too. He’d fit right in.”

“No,” Dark said. “Get away from him before he bites you.”

“You don’t tell me what to do,” Anti said.

“I could discorporate you and not have to listen to you,” Dark said.

“Nah, I can see myself out,” Anti said and then he whispered something to Remus before grabbing him and the two of them were out the door before Virgil could do so much as stand up.

“Hey!” Janus shouted.

“Hope he’s fireproof,” Dark told Janus.

“The Duke being fireproof is the least of my concerns,” Janus said. “This meeting is over, you brought Anti here, you can help get rid of him.”

Dark looked disgusted. “I did no such thing.”

“Then why do I think he would not be here without you also being here,” Janus said.

“Fine, we’ll reschedule this then,” Dark said and opened up a portal. His three Lost Ones went through the portal first, and then Dark followed them.

Janus and Virgil waited a little bit before leaving. They left slowly, too slowly for Virgil’s nerves.

Virgil kept pace with his cousin, “Should we chase after Remus, make sure he’s alright?”

Janus was quiet, staring at the space Dark and his three “apprentices”.

“Dee?” Virgil said.

“I wouldn’t be worried about the Duke, he’ll be fine,” Janus said. “I want you to keep your eye on Logan. He’s dating Pathos and I do not trust those three.”

“Are you sure?” Virgil asked, a little worried. “I knew he was on Dark’s payroll but—”

“Logan thinks he’s very clever, that I don’t know what he’s been up to, but he is not and I do not trust the demons that Dark had with him.”

“Why?” Virgil said. “We’ve dealt with demons before, they’re all the same.”

“Dark is predictable, he’s greedy and callous. But the blue one looks just human enough to get away with things. And what a coincidence that they showed up so soon after Logan’s little “internship” as if Dark doesn’t know what he’s doing with his little faux humans.”

Virgil stopped. “They aren’t human?”

“Those things are less human than I am at this point,” Janus said. “What they are, especially Pathos, are pitcher flowers. And I will not let him harm Logan, I will not let Pathos do that with Logan.”

Dread crept into Virgil but Janus began walking down the hallway again. “Come on, before the Duke gets himself into trouble.”

It took a couple steps before Virgil caught up with him, not wanting to chase after Remus but wanting to check on Logan. But he did as Janus asked.

#Egotober 2023 #Superhero AU #Masks and Maladies #Virgil Sanders #Janus Sanders #Darkiplier #Patton Sanders #the Author #illinois ahwm #Remus Sanders

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corishadowfang · 1 year

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What is your favorite thing about writing?

Or…

7. What themes and tropes do you like that are in your writing?

(For this ask game)

Thanks for the ask!!

For #1: Oh, hmm. I think on a basic, day-to-day level, my favorite thing is getting to see characters interact and come to life. I love getting to write banter and fun character interactions. But on a broader scale, there's something very satisfying about figuring out how exactly to tell a story to build up to certain scenes and make them hit.

Also worldbuilding. Worldbuilding is fun, haha.

For #7: Found family!! I love the found family trope just...so much. It pops up everywhere, haha.

Also, I guess this leans more into the 'theme' part of the question, but I guess 'hope' is a theme that ends up popping up a lot. Like...yes, things will suck, and maybe you can't stop every horrible thing that happens, and maybe you can't go back to the way things were, but you can still make something new out of what remains. Or something like that, aha.

#writing things #thanks again for the ask!

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alaffy · 1 year

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Ranking the Second Doctor’s Stories Part 2

10. The Highlanders – Pretty decent episode. It’s very easy to see why they decided to make Jamie a companion after this. I also think they do a good job of using each of the companions. The episode might have been higher...if I could actually see the episode. As it is lost, well, I’m judging it on audio alone and so I don’t have a complete picture.

9. The Macra Terror. It’s not really a base under siege, although there are some elements of that in the final half of the story. What I like about the story is that there’s a bit of a twist to it. It seems like, throughout the episodes, that this mysterious man is controlling the colony with the help of these creatures. But at the beginning of the third act we find out that, in fact, this man is being controlled by the creatures. That they have figured out a way to take over the colony.

8. The Abominable Snowman. Look, we traded out the base for a monastery. Still, a very well-acted story and it does keep you guessing about who, or what, controls the Yeti. Again, this episode is nocked down a bit because it is something I haven’t seen. However, when I get a chance to watch the animated version...it may be enough to move it up further.

7. Fury from the Deep. Look, how they defeated the creature alone puts this in my top ten. I also appreciate that they took time to say goodbye to Victoria; even hinted that it might be coming. Yes, it’s another base story. Still, the whole tampering-with-the-ocean-has-alerted-sentient-seaweed-and-now-it's-comming-to-kill-us vibe is pretty eerie.

6. The Web of Fear. Base. Siege. However, like the Abominable Snowman, it does a great job of keeping you guessing about what is going on. Add to the fact that this is Lethbridge-Stewart's first appearance and I have to rank it pretty high.

5. The Enemy of the World. This episode would probably be higher if it wasn’t for the...let’s just say there would have to be a lot of changes made to Salamander for this episode to come out today. Still, it does show some of the range of Troughton as an actor. I mean, he’s not just playing two characters here, he’s: The Doctor; The Doctor as Salamander; Salamander; and the Salamander who deals with the people below. Speaking of which, that was an unexpected twist in what was a very straight forward plot and really did end up changing the episode.

4. The Evil of the Daleks. One of the best Doctor Who’s out there. Strong story, strong cast, great mystery. The only complaint is that it might be a touch too long. Maybe one less episode. Still, it’s not enough to hurt the story.

3. The Invasion. Ok, I’ll be honest, there are stronger stories than this one and it does go on too long. However, this is the first story I watched with Troughton (at least, the first I remember) and it’s what made me love this Doctor. So, it’s high on my list.

2. The Tomb of the Cyberman. Probably the best of the classic Cyberman stories in my opinion. Again, well acted. I also loved the personal moments between the characters; something we don’t always see in Doctor Who. Also, while it does have similar traits, it isn’t a base under siege story. The heroes broke into the crypt; Cyberman are just being Cybermen.

1. Power of the Daleks. Let’s face it, so much was riding on this story and they didn’t miss a mark. Great acting, writing....if I had a rating scale it would be 10 out of 10. It’s one of those things that you wish you could have experienced in real time; just watching these episodes as they came out. I know that this is almost impossible, but if there was one Doctor Who story I wish they could find in its entirety, this would be it.

#doctor who classic #2nd doctor #jamie mccrimmon #victoria waterfield #zoe #polly wright #ben jackson

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