eyebrow twins

Speaking from a bad place, so bear with me. Has anyone thought about how being important or special to other people is based just on the people closest to you?

We regard strangers as people who are fairly irrelevant to us, because they have little to no impact to our life, and their lives and struggles won't generally touch us. In contrast, lives of people directly around us have a great impact on us, and they decide our relevancy. We give them roles in our lives, like friends, mentors, partners, lovers, caretakers, and in that regard they're special to us, irreplaceable. We also want to have an equally strong meaning in their life, to have a warm place in their heart and respect in their minds, as they do for us.

When people around us who hold great relevancy for us, also give us that same relevancy back, we feel important, we know we're special to them. That our role in their life shapes their experience, gives them gratitude and they've accepted us as someone they want and need around.

In contrast to that, when people in our life refuse to give us that same respect, warmth and relevancy, then we wonder what is wrong with us. What is missing so we can't be appreciated and regarded with the same love and respect that we show to them. Lack of mutuality makes us sink down with insecurity, self doubt and deep feeling that we're not enough, that we've done something wrong, not to deserve the same that we give to others.

And it also works out the same in isolation, if you have no one close to you, no one who has your well being in mind or cares for what becomes of you, it feels like you're important to no one, like you are not special whatsoever, even like you could be disposable if nobody cares at all.

But none of that is based on what's inside of us, who we are or how much love and good we are capable of giving and showing. It's nothing even related to our behaviour and actions, you could put anyone in these situations and results would be generally similar; person who is not experiencing reciprocity, or is left to fend for themselves alone, will lose the feeling that they're important or special in any way.

Isn't that weird? That we can end up judging our own worth based on nothing we did, or nothing we are, just based on how people around us are treating us, or whether we have anyone around us at all. In our essence we didn't change at all, it's just who is or isn't around, that determines our worth.

If we're put in a group of people who want to create bonds based on good things they see in us, we'll become able of seeing that good in ourselves. If we're surrounded by people who all feel the same as we do, act on the same moral code, readily reciprocate respect and warmth that we show to them, we won't feel like anything is wrong with us. We'll feel at home.

And since this is so intrinsic to being a person, to long for this and only feel relevant, safe and cared for in these circumstances, isn't it natural that we all deserve that? To be surrounded by people who make us feel like nothing is wrong with us, and like we're at home? Who help us focus on everything good in us, and give us no reasons to believe that we should be rejected or banished at all? Since abuse did the absolute opposite, and forced us to believe there's only reasons for abandonment, hatred and contempt, I believe being in the environment where people see many reasons to want us in their lives, would heal us.

*My husband and I make Wacha and Harvehk in BG3 in a multi-player campaign*

The Writer in me: Do not make Wacha's backstory edgy, complicated, and directly tied in to other OCs.

My Brain:

Why do I only ever have dreams about myself THINKING about my f/os and never have any that are actually ABOUT them?

Anyway, new AU just dropped, in which almost all the events of Crisis Core sort of happen in no particular order, but everyone still fucking lives and gets rehabilitated. The only catch is that, you know, now everyone's traumatized x2, and they're still altered by their... monsterificiation?

Anyway, everyone has their wings, Sephiroth is still this || close to being whatever the fuck he was in the original VII, and dream me decided Angeal can still turn into this thing as a limit break (and for monster boyfriend smooches).

That leaves Genesis with only his one wing looking at his freaky friends like

I miss the jojo weed baby

Trina: *mentions Rory*

Spencer:

.

🔪 #Horror films released on August 26th...

The War of the Worlds 1953. #scifi

The Abominable Snowman 1957(UK).

#PeterCushing

Strip Nude for Your Killer 1975(Italy).

Natural Born Killers 1994.

#action

The Brothers Grimm 2005.

The Cave 2005.

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark 2011.

For some reason I've had A Thought about the vampire AU

just cannot believe that I specifically chose my GP here because you can make appointments online without having to call anyone and now I have to call them anyway because I can't select the specific option I need on their platform

can't fool me — not today, shaitan!

a smiling axlotl tank gazes down at its chamber obviously containing an Abomination.

I was having a moment at school…and listening to Roxanne covered by annapantsu

And somehow made this. I really like it actually.

tag drop oops.

tag drop 2.

i thought buying kfc yesterday was my shameful lil secret but tumblr giving me ads for it just reminds me that my entire browsing and purchasing history is logged and weaponized by every bank and corporation