#and there’s also the horrible guilt i feel all the time knowing my other grandma is still alive but i rarely ever see her | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theshadowrealmitself · 1 year

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Unfortunately, because of spiderverse, it has me once again thinking of the citadel of ricks, and I know I’m not gonna stop thinking about it till I get it out of my system so:

- my ideal au for Diane (other than ones where she’d be in Rick’s place making portal guns) is one where after a fight with Rick, she accidentally sets off one his inventions and gets trapped in it

Because of the fight and how his relationship with Diane usually goes in other universes, Rick thinks Diane fully walked out on him and Beth, it’s not till way later, a little bit after his adventures with Morty start, that Morty accidentally frees her while messing with Rick’s stuff, to her it feels like no time has passed

- it’s early enough that they aren’t all completely messed up, but there is obvious problems in the family, and with Diane being back, they start to work on them and actually heal

- Diane’s main struggle is not knowing how to fit back into her family, her husband has been without her for so long, and although Diane can easily slip back into how they used to be, it’s going to be difficult because Rick isn’t the exact same he used to be, and it wouldn’t be fully healthy to just. y’know. pretend that nothing happened

Also, even tho she didn’t mean to abandon Beth, Beth still gained abandonment issues, she completely missed her growing up, and now she doesn’t even know if she has the right to yell at Jerry for being rude to her daughter

Speaking of Jerry, she doesn’t like him. At all. Like obviously Beth also has problems, but combine it with the fact that Beth is her daughter and her guilt at accidentally missing out on her childhood, she doesn’t really see Beth’s problems in her marriage to Jerry, but she’s very aware of Jerry’s

Especially with things like him disrespecting Beth’s job or whenever he decides to pull his “man of the house” nonsense where he gets angry that the family isn’t doing what he wants specifically because he’s a man and he doesn’t care that literally none of the rest of the family want to do his thing, Diane thinks he’s terrible for her daughter and is teaching horrible things to her grandchildren

But she doesn’t say anything because she doesn’t feel like the she has the right to, and she doesn’t want to hurt her grandchildren, who might see her rejecting their dad and think that it’s her rejecting a part of them, so she politely puts up with Jerry (but is constantly on the edge of begging Rick to make him disappear)

And when it comes to her grandchildren, she actually adjusts much better, she still feels guilty about not having been there for them growing up, but because they aren’t people she used to know who have been drastically changed by time, slipping into the role of their grandma was surprisingly easy for her

- Diane spends most of her time getting adjusted to modern times, which Summer and Morty excitedly help her out with, as well as working on her relationship with Rick

(it takes a bit before her and Beth feel ready to work on their relationship, with Beth’s tendency to pretend everything is fine and wanting to avoid upsetting her mom in case she “leaves” again, while Diane doesn’t even know how to begin apologizing to Beth, but they get there, eventually)

- as much as Diane feels guilty for what happened (because it was a small argument that got blown out of proportion to the point where she was trying to sabotage some of Rick’s inventions because she was angry, and got trapped in one) Rick feels even more guilty, because it was his invention, and he feels like maybe if he looked for her more instead of accepting she had left, or if the argument hadn’t happened, or if he checked his devices more often, she would’ve gotten to see her daughter grow up

So he does whatever he can to make things right, it’s his wake up call, he doesn’t become perfect overnight, but he starts going to therapy, being nicer to his family, being the best husband he can be, planning tons of family vacations, etc, anything to try and make up for “robbing” her of so many of the years she was supposed to have with them

- Morty and Summer love their grandma, not only is Rick being so much nicer with her around, but she tries hard to be a good role model to them, and they get to make a lot of happy family memories with her (especially by stealing the ship and showing her fun stuff they learned from Rick, and Rick doesn’t end up as upset with them when it makes his wife happy)

Beth is jealous of them at first, with them getting to make happy memories with her mom and her actually being there for them, she still struggles with her idolized idea of her mom, her mom never actually walking out on them, and her resentment of her that she never acknowledged growing up, but she does work on it and stops seeing her kids as competition

- how does this relate to the Citadel? They visit there occasionally in this au, and it’s always a difficult visit for everyone involved (including the alternate Ricks and their families), but they’re still visits that everyone appreciates (sometimes the Morty schools beg her to visit as a guest speaker, or Mortys write to her as if she’s their council member to ask her to get the Ricks to be nicer to them)

Would it be better if Diane and Rick just divorced or whatever? Maybe, but this my au, and for this one specifically, I just want to see them work on themselves and heal and actually be happy together

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leekimdramas · 2 years

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All of the sisters are so interesting. We even finally found out why there are not 4 sisters (as in original book) but 3 which was such a hard story to watch.

The older sister Oh In Joo seemed a little bit naive at some moments. Later on we get to know her more and the whole trauma she had to go through, it's amazing how she's still loving toward In Kyung instead of being jealous.

We also see how smart she is, searching for the clues about her dead friend, and also finding out so many things (maybe she should've been a journalist, jk jk)

I can't wait for sisters to come together with their own clues and find the answer.

The middle sister Oh In Kyung, is very interesting character too. What got me the most surprised was probably her drinking tequila while working and it wasn't the mouthwash after all! Still surprised that it was tequila because it's disgusting to down, has a specific smell and also more expensive than soju (I'm guessing).

But when she found out about their dead sister I broke down with her. Yes, Oh In Joo, knew everything all the time and didn't go to a rich family afterwards.

However, the feelings she's probably feeling the most is guilt. Forgetting about the sibling, leaving her family to go to her rich grandma (though it wasn't probably really her choice).

The little sister Oh In Hye is as strong as her other two siblings but the drama keeps reminding that she's just a child.

As she goes into a lion's den and gets manipulated not only to betray her sisters but also into thinking that that's the best thing she could do to run away from poverty.

As much as you want to scream 'Don't trust them!!' you have to remember that she's just a teen.

Of course she will feel humiliated by her drunk sisters' actions. Of course, she would feel horrible after taking everything that her sisters' have and wanting to get something by herself is admirable.

Because as much as the stereotype goes about youngest siblings being the most spoiled you can see that even if it's true, it becomes a burden rather than something she enjoys.

All I want to say with my rant is that all of the sisters are so interesting. I think I can also relate even a tiny bit to each of them which makes them more realistic. It also helps with falling in love with the drama as everyone has it's own flaws.

How would I not relate to a journalist who tears up easily when I'm one... Not really a journalist, just a journalism graduate lolol.

#little women #kdrama #rant

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year

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tw: cocsa, csa, death mention just a vent. i've been thinking recently about how my family would react if they found out i grew up being SA'd by my cousin. i just can't open up about it to anyone knowing how it would destroy the family and I have no evidence. My grandma is in her mid 70's, and she cherishes my cousin a lot. Or so I think. I sometimes think how it would be for her to die peacefully without knowing such horrible things happened b/w her 2 grandkids. Sometime in my life, I definitely plan on telling this to my mom who also is fond of my cousin. It scares me but at the same time brings me reassurance that one point all the people who care about me will never know what happened in my life for me to grow up with so many issues and live w so much trauma. They'll just die and there will be no one to know of it. I don't know how much sense this makes, but I'm just scared of what happens once it gets out. It hurts while it's there within you, it will hurt even more once it's out in society knowing the culture over SA. I don't know, it's the fear of the fact that I just might tear my family apart in a sense that if my cousin is ever exposed and say really held accountable, it might draw a rift between my parents & my aunt and uncle. At the same time I wonder if they'll take me seriously since a lot of relatives view my cousin as the pride of the family. So that way it can again cause a rift because I'd become a scapegoat and 'reputation ruiner' as i like to call it, when I know what happened was real. I just feel really trapped and there's no way out. Someday the past will catch up and I'm really afraid it will all just crumble. Everything in my life and the life of my loved ones will be destroyed. Sorry if I framed some things in a confusing manner. Thanks for reading.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. Also please know that there is no need to apologize, your ask is perfectly understandable.

It's common to worry about how people will react when you share your story. Please know that your feelings are valid. It's a vulnerable thing to share what happened, especially to your family. With the emotional gravity of your story, it's understandable why you may feel that you must keep this story from others so that they can live peacefully.

You are not alone in feeling this way, and this is something that I have personally dealt with. My poems of being assaulted were published to a lit mag, and my parents wanted to come to the publication party where I was to read the poems. I wanted them to come show their support but I also wanted to protect them from their own sadness and guilt. My therapist helped me to realize that other people's emotions are not my responsibility, and so if someone is devastated by my story, that's not necessarily my problem. Suffice to say, other people's emotions are not a valid reason to stop you from sharing your story.

Please know that, while it's completely up to you who to tell your story to, it's also completely up to you who NOT to tell your story to. If there are people that you don't want to know what happened, that should be your right. It's your story, so it's your jurisdiction who knows and who doesn't, although some people may not honor that.

In my situation, I had a discussion with my mom about my COCSA and how I wanted not to tell her because I wanted to protect her from her own guilt, but she told me she'd already been feeling it, and that the transparency actually provided her some relief. So it may be worth considering that the people you think are "peaceful" may be wearing a mask, and that sharing your story may actually strengthen some of your familial bonds.

I also just want to say that we as survivors are often made to feel that speaking up about what happened to us is like a weapon of mass destruction. But we need to remember that it's really our abusers doing all that destruction, we are merely the messengers. Just like our abusers destroy their own reputations when we expose them, any rift that may occur within your family is not your fault. You're simply speaking the truth, or doing whatever else feels right in your healing.

Please know that you are not defined by your past. You are a survivor, and your story has the power to inspire, uplift, and bring about positive change. As you continue on your healing path, may you find solace, strength, and the freedom to live a life filled with joy, love, and fulfillment. Keep holding onto hope, and know that you are never alone in this journey.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw emotional abuse #tw sa #tw child abuse #tw csa #tw cocsa

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veilofthistles · 1 year

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I don't know why I feel like I need to gush about this book but I need to say something somewhere. I have a hard time getting into books in general and it’s even harder for romance novels. A lot of the times, it’s unrealistically attractive people with no chemistry being horrible to each other. All of them heteronormative with a submissive woman and an overbearing, almost abusive man.

My life has been a very strictly religious one up until now. As a teenager, I remember running across my mom’s secret stash of romance novels and being absolutely appalled by what I read in them. “How could some one who shamed me anytime anything sexual was mentioned be reading these explicit books?” I wondered. Later, I found that my grandma wrote and published romance novels in the 80′s. Around the early 2010, I was starting to come to terms with my sexuality and that I was not dirty or sinful.

I think This is why I became so attached to His Secret Illuminations. I felt myself in both of the characters. I am a tall, broad shouldered masculine woman with a love for things small and colorful. I also feel like Lucian overcoming his fears of his sexual desires and religious guilt.

And you know, I am relieved that the message was not that religion on it’s own is a bad thing but is VERY complicated. In the end, the important thing is how you treat other people. If you follow these religions with fear and hated or if you have a love for other people and build them up with respect.

The scenes in this book are so strong and memorable. Its not all sex all the time but the tension between these two characters is just MMMMMMMMMM. SO GOOD. I love the scene with lucian fighting with his thoughts in the monastery because ooooo heavens I have had that conversation with myself so many times. I love the scene where he and Glory officially meet in the garden and he offers her a tomato. I love when they ride off and he is absolutely mortified with having to sit up against her. I love their first experience in the bath and all the banter they have while they travel. I loved the scene where they help the sick and dying family (this is where I was like, yup, this is my favorite book of all time.) I loved when lucian got hypothermia and they had to snuggle up (now that is a classic trope) I loved loved loved how absolutely tormented he is after that with sexual dreams and ends up breaking his vows on some unsuspecting tree out in the woods are you kidding me I screamed. I loved the part with them snuggling unicorns and talking about virginity. I loved GLORY PINNING LUCIAN TO THE GROUND AND DRIVING HIM TO THE BRINK SAYING SHE’LL HAVE HIM DECIDE WHEN HE’S COMFORTABLE AND WONT FORCE HIM. GAAAAAAAAA He’s such a mess I love him. and the first time they do it is just so sweet and pure and holy smokes they are just such sweeties. They are too cute and I need this sort of relationship in my life.

I did feel like the book didn't follow a traditional rise and fall of action. The moment I felt like they were going to start the climax of the story, the book ended. I know there’s another but I felt like it ended much too quickly. I absolutely need more.

also if the author is reading this, I’m sorry I’m such a little obsessive mess. I can’t talk about this to anyone I know in real life, I can’t let them know I enjoy such books but I need to gush about how amazing this book was.

okay bye

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razieltwelve · 2 years

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Squabble (Final Rose)

Victoria glanced up from her scroll. “Oh?”

Sigrid glared and gently took the scroll from her cousin before setting it down on a nearby table. She then put her hands on Victoria’s shoulders and moved her into position before opening a window.

“What are you doing?”

Sigrid held up one finger for silence... and then punched Victoria out of the window.

The force of the blow rattled the building and sent Victoria sailing through the air at close to the speed of sound. It would have reduced almost anyone else to little more than a smear. But all Victoria did was laugh as she skipped across the surface of the lake before coming to rest in a hillside on the opposite side of the body of water.

“Is that all?” Victoria got to her feet and bent her neck to work the kinks out of it. “You’re barely even trying.”

Sigrid appeared in front of her. “You are an obnoxious, little troll, and if you weren’t my cousin I would kill you.”

Victoria laughed. “Little? I’m taller than you are now.” She grinned. “Even if it’s not by much.”

Sigrid’s eyes narrowed. “Stop talking.”

“Hey, you’re the one who decided to waste precious time replying instead of trying to kill me.” Victoria spread her arms out. “But, hey, what’s a little attempted murder between family? Come on. Give it another shot. Really put your back into it this time.”

Sigrid snarled. “I’m going to rip out your spine.”

“As if that would even bother me. Now, are you going to talk, or are you going to fight?”

X X X

Later, having devastated much of the landscape which Sigrid had subsequently fixed with Saviour, the two cousins laid on their backs watching the clouds go by beside the lake.

“Feeling better?” Victoria asked. “Has the mean voice in your head stopped asking you to kill everybody?”

Sigrid sighed. “For now.”

“You should probably get that looked at,” Victoria drawled. “Because I don’t remember your mother’s Semblance or grandmother’s Semblance being quite as... murderous as yours.”

“They’re not.” Sigrid scowled. “My version of Saviour is uniquely... aggressive.”

“Meh. My version of Ragnarok is way more megalomaniacal than either my mom’s or grandma’s. You just have to keep a close eye on it and learn how to manage it, which I supposed is why you came to pick a fight.”

“There are very few people I can fight without breaking them.” Sigrid closed her eyes. “Which makes dealing with the aggression difficult.”

“True. It’s not like you can fight your big sister. Eira is pretty damn tough, but she wouldn’t last long against either of us if we really put our backs into it. Plus, I’m pretty sure she’s off limits to your Semblance too.”

“Even if I was to lose control, Saviour would not attack her,” Sigrid said. “That much I am certain of.”

“Also true.” Victoria yawned. “Have you considered fighting Xanthe? So long as you don’t go too nuts, she could probably handle you.”

Sigrid frowned. “I think that could work, depending on how... aggressive Saviour was feeling. But if she were to be injured...”

“Yeah, yeah. Horrible guilt, self-recrimination, and all that.” Sigrid stared, and Victoria opened one eye. “Are you forgetting how well I understand other people? You’re not exactly the most complex person in the world, you know.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Sigrid replied. “Since I don’t have your... taste for scheming and plotting.”

“Meh. You’re missing out. Actually, you should try that. Let Saviour scheme and plot more. Sure, it’s not the same as going out and murdering some people, but it might help make things easier to manage.” Victoria paused. “Also, get a girlfriend.”

“...” Sigrid blinked. “What?”

“Or at least someone to warm your bed.”

Sigrid sat up. “What?”

“Fundamentally, Saviour and Ragnarok are basically the same. Don’t give me that look. You know what I mean. They’re two answers to the same question. Their basic structures are actually very similar despite all of the cosmetic differences. Find someone to warm your bed. That’ll give Saviour something else to puzzle over and conquer instead of you having to come over and pick a fight.”

“...”

Victoria winked. “Or you and I could -”

Sigrid punched her in the face. “Don’t even start.”

Victoria laughed and got up. “Don’t be such a spoilsport. If we weren’t cousins, I’d definitely be willing to give it a try.”

“You’re demented, you know that, right?” Sigrid said, shaking her head in fond exasperation.

“I’m one of the smartest people on the planet. I like to think of it as having a unique perspective.” Victoria shrugged. “But, seriously, getting a girlfriend or something would probably help. Maybe ask that shepherdess out. She seems pretty nice.”

“Maybe I will.”

X X X

Side Note

Sigrid and Victoria have by far the strangest relationship of the cousins in their generation. Contrast this with Eira and Victoria. Eira looks at Victoria as a younger sibling she needs to keep out of trouble. Victoria sees Eira as an older sibling who she likes to make harmless trouble for from time to time.

#final rose #fanfiction #victoria #sigrid

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the-kipsabian · 5 months

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Crush anon here I went through a stint when I was younger of losing some people back to back tho it was months / a year apart and I’ve lost a couple people a few years apart here recently one I just lost a few weeks back another just a few months ago

Grief is never ever easy but it’s much harder when you don’t experience it for a while and then suddenly you’re hit with it so quickly so much at once

The regrets are very very real and valid and I understand the connection disconnection thing felt that way about my paw he was good to me most of the time but was terrible to my mother and bad mouthed my dead nana his ex wife fairly often and she was my entire universe tbh so made for a very mixed relationship with him

Fond memories of eating out with him or going to the library

But then horrible ones of him bad mouthing my nana and him not being allowed at her funeral and him being horrid to my mom who despite my admittedly terrible relationship I still felt so much anger seeing her treated so wrongly

Point is people are complicated grief will be complicated often the more complicated the relationship with the person before they died the more complication with the grief is what I’ve found

I find myself feeling a mixture of hating not visiting my grandma in the nursing home more vs remembering times she blamed me for things that weren’t my fault or had meltdowns over small things and not necessarily feeling glad I didn’t visit more I will always regret not visiting more but it sorta in a way removes the rose tinted glasses I had as a kid before I realized and was told some of the stuff she was doing to me was wrong

I’m so sorry for such back to back losses I could never begin to imagine your exact feelings everyone grieves and feels differently and being numb is sometimes a way we can feel whether it be because we’re not ready to feel properly or we feel like we can’t because we have to remain strong for anyone else or whether it just happens

It’s okay like I said people are complicated and therefore grief will be as well and all that matters is we find what works for us and we work through it at safely and at our own pace

Sometimes it will be all at once other times it will be much more sporadic and sometimes even if it’s all at once there can still be smaller times or even bigger times we have random breaks and everything

It’s all okay, I hope you’ll be alright and I hope this makes sense and helps you somehow

I often use my own experiences to try to help others so <3

yeah its. its a lot rn. my grandpa passed away on thursday and my grandma last night so thats. yeah

the thing for me is, apart from getting hit with all of this rapid fire after not experiencing loss in years, its just.. i didnt really have a relationship in the recent years with either of them. mostly cause my grandpa wasnt really a great person and my grandma was secluded and didnt really like me so like.. yeah. i have a lot of guilt of not trying to mend any relationships like that and just having the rest of the family to handle them, but ive been living with the regrets and could-have-beens the past few days a lot and. its just a lot. especially since now theres two people like that and two relationships that are no more that i somehow need to try to deal with

idk like i said in the tags its a very complicated thing for me. im trying to do this at my own pace but its just.. odd to me. and i know its normal but i also feel guilty about it. about a lot of things, like said. i'll be fine eventually, probably cause thats just how life is and since these relationships werent that good or close.. but it still hurts. idk man

thank you tho, i do really appreciate you reaching out 💜

#im not gonna talk about this a lot im just. processing tonight #its been a difficult few days to say the least #death //#anonymous #thank you for asking! <3

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septembersghost · 2 years

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Why do you believe in hauntings? I've never had anything like that happen to me but I have had dreams that predicted deaths and disasters (one I still remember clearly was the devastating Japan earthquake years ago, I can't really talk about it, and it's heavy the guilt because it feels like something that somehow one could have avoided because one knew it was coming -I know rationally that doesn't make sense but it's how it feels-) and the one in Nepal.

i've never dreamed of natural disasters, but my mom has! she also feels that sense of guilt even though there's absolutely nothing that could've been done to prevent it, i think that's a very natural reaction of empathy, wishing so badly you could make a difference, especially if you feel like you knew something was coming.

okay, so this is a VERY long story (or collection of stories), and far more intricate than i can quickly explain in a message, but the building where i grew up (from the age of 4 to the age of 22) was haunted, and there is legitimately no other explanation for the things that happened there. when my mom and i came here from dallas, when my parents separated, we moved in with my grandparents in their condo and shared the back bedroom. then we had the same setup in the condo next door and lived with my uncle and cousin (my mom acting as his surrogate mother for a while too), and then they moved out and it was just the two of us, but my grandparents were still next door. when my grandpa died, my grandma moved into a retirement community and my mom and i moved into their condo (all for complicated family reasons), so throughout all of those years, we were consistently in those two units.

when i was very little, when my mom and i shared that backroom, i slept on a pull out trundle bed, and i used to insist that i saw my guardian angel at night, sometimes bringing me a tiny light. my cousin and i also had odd things happen when we would play - like toys moving - but nobody believed us because they thought we were just imaginative.

my grandparents were very faithful people, but against superstition, so trust me when i say they would never make anything up or even put much stock in it - except they had unexplained experiences in their condo. when i was about...12?...our family was all gathered together, and we were talking about ghost stories, and my grandpa laughed and was like, "i can tell you all about the ghost here," and then launched into a story about how he was lying in bed, and my grandma was in the bathroom washing up with the door closed, and the covers spontaneously pulled up on him, and he automatically said, "thank you." and he was like, "i guess it's better to be polite to the ghost!" they had other things happen - small items would move and my grandma would blame my grandpa for moving them, and then he'd insist he hadn't touched them, they'd feel like someone else was in the room, there were cold spots. they told us this, and my mom and i were just like 👀 because we'd had experiences next door, but hadn't shared them. we both had had times standing alone in the living room where we felt like someone grabbed our shoulders, hard, but no one was there. we'd also had things not be in the place we left them, including my stuffed animals. i had a baby doll i literally threw away because she started talking on her own without batteries. just very strange, small things. one night - and to this day, she can still hardly talk about this - my mom heard this horrible noise in the hallway, and she said she felt this terrifyingly dark, oppressive presence, and she was so scared she couldn't move or look, even though she wanted to come and get me. she swears she was wide awake.

when my grandpa died and we moved back into that unit, i was a teenager and things were...strange. i'd come home and find my things on the floor, one time a tiny glass unicorn of mine was shattered even though we'd been nowhere near it. if you stood in a certain place in the hallway, you could hear whispering. (also, for the record, we had everything checked for mold and carbon monoxide, it was clear.) i have a little crystal pull in the shape of a teddy bear on my ceiling fan, and it would start swinging back and forth wildly on its own when i was sitting in bed, when the fan wasn't on. we saw dark shapes in mirrors. i know this all sounds made-up, but i promise you it isn't. my mom heard the voice of a young girl singing and said it sounded so much like me, except i wasn't home. we would never have shared this with anyone, but a new element was introduced - my (ex) best friend. he and i spent an excessive amount of time together, and he was at our place a lot. we decided not to tell him anything about anything because it sounds insane. which was fine. except for when he walked out of my bathroom white as a sheet and told me he saw something in the mirror and couldn't explain what the hell it was. and then he experienced a lot of other things with us over the course of many years. some of my girl friends came over for dinner once and the radio kept turning on by itself. the guy who did what he did when i was in college - who literally believed in nothing and proclaimed that fact - also saw something in one of the mirrors (one we had in the living room) and felt like something wanted him to leave, which is kind of funny in retrospect because it has made us wonder if that was whatever presence it was trying to warn me.

we only lived there with my dog until she was not quite two years old, but she was very defensive and sometimes would growl at seemingly nothing in the hall at night.

there is no explanation for any of this, or any of the things we saw and felt completely separately, from my grandparents to my mom and me, and we would've kept it in the family and likely not told anyone had it not also presented itself to my friends, which made it unavoidably real. we don't know why, we don't know what it might have been, but i will never forget or dismiss what any of that felt like, and it's a big reason why i won't negate others' unusual/eerie/unexplained experiences and phenomenons.

#anonymous #letterbox #i feel like this should be filed in the personal tag haha #bubble wrap around my heart

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melohax · 3 years

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Why Basil isn’t “evil” or knowingly manipulative:

Warning: Major MAJOR Omori Spoilers Ahead

When people aren’t saying Sunny is a psychopath who deserves to be in jail, they’re saying Basil is an evil obsessive mastermind who tricked poor dissociating Sunny into defacing his sister’s corpse.

I’ve already explained before why I disagree with either interpretation but I haven’t gone in depth with Basil’s character. I’ll write about why I don’t think Basil is this dark yandere intentionally manipulating Sunny into dependance on him.

Basil is a tragic character with bad abandonment issues who legitimately wants to help the people he loves most. Unfortunately he also happens to have a broken “normalcy compass” (common in abused and/or neglected children). This means his well intentioned actions are often more harmful than helpful.

Aubrey says during a part of the real world segment that outside our main friend group, she’s always been an outcast. I think it’s no accident that we see in Sunny’s memories that she was the one who introduced Basil to the friend group, implying he’s also always been an outcast like her.

With Aubrey though, we can attribute her outcast status to things like living in the poorest neighborhood in Faraway town while also living in the visibly most worn-down house of said poor neighborhood.

Aubrey has a hoarding alcoholic mother that neglects her and a strict father (Aubrey casually mentions as a kid that her father is weirdly strict about her appearance) who ends up abandoning her anyway. Aubrey’s hot temper doesn’t help either and so even though she manages to be popular and well-loved among her hooligan friends, the rest of the town judges her harshly as if she’s at fault for her horrible life circumstances.

Then we have Basil. Basil’s economic circumstances are visibly better than Aubrey’s and he lives in a nice house surrounded by pretty flowers. Yet even with everything around him (even his appearance) looking so prim and cute, he’s still treated as an outcast.

We know that mentally ill children are way too often shunned by their peers and the adults surrounding them for being “weird” even though it’s not their fault that they have different brain chemistry. Without counting the bullying Aubrey carried out with her friends, Basil was already being ostracized by people outside the main friend group. In one of Sunny’s memories, Basil tells them that he’d always been alone before meeting them.

This lets us know that there’s always been “something” that’s made Basil unpopular with almost everyone. We see hints of why in the contrast between Dreamworld Basil and Real Basil. Whereas Dreamworld Basil is well-spoken, charismatic and cheerful, Real Basil is a nervous wreck that is prone to panic attacks and bouts of screaming. We could say he’s this way cus of what he did to Mari but from knowing Basil’s always been an unliked outcast, I get the feeling he’s not like this only from the Mari situation.

Then we have the probable root of his very obvious abandonment issues: Basil’s parents’ are completely absent save for some pictures in his home. Sunny himself has never seen Basil’s parents in person. Datamining apparently suggests his parents abandoned him when he was a toddler. To top it off, having a constantly ill and mostly unresponsive grandma as his only remaining family doesn’t help with his mental health issues at all, either. No wonder the kid’s clingy.

There’s also the caretaker at his house, who is introduced as Basil’s caretaker, not his sick grandmothers. Basil is at the age where he can legally emancipate himself yet we’re shown he still needs a caretaker to look after him. That Basil needs looking after kinda says to me that he has issues he can’t be left alone with.

So all these paragraphs were to explain the evidence that point to Basil likely being mentally ill since before Mari’s death. Now we get to the parts that make me think he’s been suffering from psychosis even as a kid.

12 year old Basil doesn’t seem capable of understanding the concept of Sunny being angry and accidentally shoving Mari down the stairs. He seems unable to consider the possibility that it was an argument between siblings just at the wrong place at the wrong time, as if that just can’t happen. To Basil, it HAS to be “Something” maliciously causing the incident and/or forcing Sunny to do it.

About the Mari incident and Basil’s fucked up idea: I think a lot of fans forget that first, not only was Basil a 12 year old kid back then (not even a teen yet) but also a lot of the reasoning behind many of Basil’s most important actions seems to be rooted in delusions he genuinely believes.

The same thing happens when the photo album was scribbled over: in his mind, there was no way any of his friends (*cough* Sunny) could have done this. It had to be the same “Something” attached both to him and Sunny that decided to ruin the photos. Basil doesn’t seem to remember doing anything to the album at all.

We could say all of this isn’t psychosis but metaphors for extreme denial instead, like the way Sunny decides things that remind him of The Truth don’t exist (like the closet door).

I don’t think this is all there is to it, tho.

Basil throughout the game tries to guide Sunny to the truth both in Headspace and that the time in his bathroom where he tries to talk to Sunny about the Something following them. Too afraid to hear him out, Sunny runs away instead while Basil screams for Sunny not to leave him again.

This shows imo that Basil’s brand of denial isn’t the same as Sunny’s. Sunny escapes into his own head and pretends everything involving the incident is either perpetually frozen in a time before anything bad happened or that it simply does not exist. He’s all about repression and suppression.

Basil on the other hand, acknowledges that the incident happened but he saw a Something committing the act instead of Sunny himself.

Then, the final battle against Basil confirms to me that Basil’s delusions and hallucinations go beyond denial of Sunny’s guilt.

Even when the truth is finally out in the open for the both of them, Basil still insists it’s “Something” that did everything. He attacks Sunny because he genuinely believes he is attacking Something evil and that this will protect Sunny from it. The most important detail to me: Basil slashes or gouges Sunny’s eye out specifically on the side where Somethings eye peeks out from Mari’s hair.

Saddest of all, we’re never shown if Basil ever managed to realize that there was never a monster doing everything. Although we are shown the burden of the secret is gone in that last scene between Sunny and Basil, we don’t know if Basil ever understood that Sunny wasn’t forced by any monster to kill Mari.

There’s more that can be said but this post already got long af lol. My conclusion is that Basil isn’t some evil yandere mastermind. He’s a sad wreck of a teenager who’s always struggled with mental illness, trying to do the best he can for those he loves while being plagued by nearly constant delusions and hallucinations.

Tricking his best friend/love interest isn’t part of Basil’s modus operandi when a lot of times he can barely tell what’s real and what isn’t.

#omori spoilers #omori #omori game #basil omori #omori basil #mari omori #omori mari #aubrey omori #omori aubrey #mental illness #cw mental illness

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leekimdramas · 1 year

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