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dancinginodessa · 4 years

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better late than never

I do a survey every year on New Year’s. It’s currently February 5. We’re going to make it “in the new year” this time so I don’t break my fifteen-year streak, okay?

1. What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before?

Many things, some of them not suitable for a general audience. (I’ll tell you about Psych Bike when you’re older.) I went camping for the first time, which also means I set up a tent and slept outdoors for the first time. I had a surprise party for the first time, which is less something I did than something that was done for me. I was brave in new ways and drew new boundaries. I finished my first cross-stitching project. I broke my elbow. That last one actually sucked and I am not inclined to do it again.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

My sole resolution is always to read a certain number of books in the coming year. After an intervention from my therapist back in 2018, I’ve kept that number at 52, and this year I again succeeded with 63 total. I would like to think I enjoyed them more and chose them with greater discretion because I wasn’t racing towards an impossible goalpost.

I’m keeping my resolution. I’m also keeping the implicit sub-resolution, which is to continue finding ways to be kind to myself. We’ll see.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

I don’t think so, which probably means I’ve forgotten an ENTIRE BABY. Sorry, baby!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My grandmother, in October. It was long and slow and agonizing and I miss her terribly.

5. What countries did you visit?

Does...does New Jersey count as a country?

6. What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019?

A better singing voice, which means I am going to have to keep singing. But it wasn’t until 2019 that I was brave enough to do karaoke at all, so maybe this is possible!

Also, a short story published somewhere. Hell, scratch that - a short story, finished.

7. What date from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

October 6: my father’s stroke.

October 7: my grandmother’s death.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Surviving.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not telling people what I needed; relatedly, pretending to myself that I didn’t have needs at all. No one benefits from that. It’s just a good way to cultivate resentment.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I broke my damn elbow while carrying La Croix and no one will ever let me live it down. Also got the sniffles a few times.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Opera tickets to The Queen of Spades, maybe. The jigsaw puzzle I gave Griffin for the holidays, not least because he got me a jigsaw puzzle too and the moment we realized what we’d done was so, so delightful. Honorable mentions: bus tickets, medication, this one really great sweater.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My mother. Me. Anyone on Twitter who made me laugh, especially Ashley Feinberg. The folks at One Story for being so kind when I left. My therapist.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

My mother. Me. The entire administration. The rest of Twitter.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Rent, food, and alcohol, perhaps not in that order. If my parents ask: in that order.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The Fourth of July at the pirate ship; Psych Bike; karaoke night; any of a million things in this neighborhood, because this neighborhood now feels like home, and that’s the most exciting thing of all.

Also, Animal Crossing, though it got bumped until 2020 and I am only just hanging on.

16. What song will always remind you of 2019?

Among others, “The Bad Touch,” because it turns out I absolutely crush that one at karaoke night. Ditto “Truth Hurts.”

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Sadder, but how could I not be?

ii. thinner or fatter? Unclear (love 2 have dysmorphia), but I think I gained a few pounds.

iii. richer or poorer? Roughly the same, which is frankly an achievement.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Sleeping. Writing. Asking for what I needed. Crocheting and cross-stitching and watching dumb TV. Kissing. Setting firm boundaries with someone in my industry who was harassing me, though that situation is (mostly?) resolved. Being brave - but I was already pretty brave.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Waiting for bad things to happen. They happen whether or not you expect them.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

My grandma is dead - did I mention? So Christmas was spent with my parents at our house, just the three of us. It was strange and sad but kind of wonderful, too. We are all figuring out how this family fits together now that there are fewer of us.

January 7: went to church, went to the Strand, went home and ate soup with Griffin because he was sick and I wanted to be with my buddy.

21. Did you fall in love in 2019?

Kept falling.

22. How many one-night stands?

Funny story! Funny story that I’m not going to put in writing.

23. What was your favourite TV program?

I didn’t watch much TV, but rewatching Parks and Rec has been great, even if some of it didn’t age super well. I’m also literally the last person on the internet to watch The Great British Baking Show and am 10000% on board.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No. I’m too tired.

25. What was the best book you read?

I have a whole list, and I could not possibly tell you my favorite favorite. However, a few contenders would be Disappearing Earth by Julia Phillips, Maybe You Should Talk To Someone by Lori Gottlieb, Flights by Olga Tokarczuk, Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino, In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado, etc. etc. etc...

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I’m not sure I actually listened to much that would qualify as a discover and not an extension of my existing interests, but I did discover that music is beginning to bring me joy the way it did in college and which I had been sorely missing.

27. What did you want and get?

A diagnosis. It’s good to have the words for yourself.

28. What was your favourite film of this year?

Lord. What even came out in 2019? I only just saw Parasite last weekend, here in 2020, but it counts, and I’m choosing that. Midsommar ruled too.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 28 and went to a nice dinner with my boyfriend that turned out to be a surprise party with my friends. It was great and I cried.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

My grandmother.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019?

Bisexuality™

32. What kept you sane?

Last year I said “In no particular order: therapy, my mom, crocheting, cross-stitching, the New York Times crossword, gummy worms, venting to Karen, coffee.”

And...that’s about right.

Shoutout to Xanax, though.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Ruby Tandoh, William Jackson Harper, Michael B. Jordan, Janelle Monae, the bear from MIdsommar (that last one is a joke)

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Everything, but especially family separation.

35. Who did you miss?

My parents, especially after the stroke. My grandmother, always.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

The entire neighborhood crew. I am so lucky to have them.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019:

You can make it through more than you imagined.

#the year in review

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sparklytastemakerwitch · 3 years

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What is a Paper Making Machine?

I know you’re looking for a paper bag machine that’s why you are here.

Maybe, you want to be a paper bag wholesaler or make branded designs for your retail business.

The truth is, paper bags are dear packages for food vendors, retailers, and even manufacturers.

But, how can you venture in this business?

Or, what is the most cost effective way of making paper bags?

Today’s guide debunks the facts behind paper bag making process and machine such basic definition, working principle, classification, design, technical specification, etc.

So stay with me to be an expert in paper bag making industry.

Let’s begin with some facts.

Apart from the other devastating problems associated with plastic bags, did you know that synthetic bag manufacturers produce about one trillion of those bags in a year globally?

Did you also know that it takes one thousand years for a single bag of this kind to biodegrade?

Yes, that’s the scariest part of it.

Due to that, most governments are imposing bans on these carriers.

The alternative?

A mega-shift to more environmentally friendly paper bags.

So basically a paper bag making machine is a state of the art machine that gathers, folds, stamps, and processes papers to produce clean paper bags.

These paper bags are for use in the packaging of goods in various industries such as food, pharmaceutical products, grocery, and baking industries.

The bag making machines come in various configurations depending on the type of bags for final production.

Therefore, the paper bag making system should be versatile enough to cater to the dynamics in the paper bag manufacturing.

Today different paper bag making stakeholders such as the machine manufacturers, raw material suppliers face a lot of shifting customer demands, government regulations, changing prices, etc.

It’s thus good only if the machine can afford the manufacturer some relief.

For that matter, it means that you need to know all the factors related to the paper bag making the machine.

Besides, all the accompanying dynamics before making a purchase.

Luckily, I have compiled all that you need to know in this article.

The history of development and use of paper bag making machine dates back to the 19th century.

During these early stages, the systems were simple and mechanically operated.

With that, we move to the next step.

Where to Use Paper Bag Making Machine

Take a moment to reflect on the occasions you use a paper bag.

Indeed paper bag forms a vital integral in our lives today.

From simple uses such as carrying random goods to more complex ones such as in pharmaceuticals to wrap up drugs.

One thing is for sure.

Without paper bag making machine, we would be missing a significant aspect of our lives.

Surely, there are numerous uses of paper bag making the machine.

Subsequently, the produced paper bags can be classified under different distinct categories depending on their purposes.

We carry stuff in them -– groceries, clothes, gifts, trash and booze. I carried my lunch to school in one until the fourth grade because my mother would decorate them with stickers and drawings. People add sand and candles to them to illuminate their neighbourhoods at Christmas. Disgruntled sports fans cover their heads with them. But how many people know where the flat-bottomed paper bag came from? Or that its invention was a triumph of feminism over patriarchy, and of brains over bullying?

For most of recorded history, containers were made of leather, wood, cotton and reeds. Paper, made by hand one sheet at a time, was a luxury, used only for books, records and letters by the literate few. In 1799, a French inventor named Louis-Nicolas Robert was granted a patent for a machine that produced rolls of paper. This invention brought paper to the masses. Soon, merchants were using rolled paper, or ‘cornucopias’, to package small quantities of goods, with predictably messy results. They also constructed rudimentary paper bags by hand, which was a time-consuming and not always successful process.

The race was on to produce a paper bag that was both sturdy and easy to make. In 1852, the American Francis Wolle received the first patent for a square bottom paper bag machine. It used steam and paste to create bags in the shape of envelopes. Though the machine became popular, the bags it produced were cumbersome and of limited use – picture a load of groceries in a large envelope-shaped sack. Still, they were better than nothing at all, and factories producing the bags multiplied. In the late 1860s, Margaret Knight, a tall, endlessly inquisitive and hard-working New Englander, went to work for the Columbia Paper Bag Company in Springfield, Massachusetts. Within a few years, her ingenious designs would revolutionise the industry.

Born in 1838, Knight’s childhood was shaped by the industrial revolution. At first glance, hers is the classic victim’s story – raised by a widowed mother, and put to work by the age of 10 in the brutally inhospitable cotton mills of New Hampshire. But from her earliest days this uneducated labourer had an agile, inventive mind. While still a child, Knight saw a fellow worker injured when a steel-tipped shuttle shot off a loom. She soon created a shuttle cover to prevent any more accidents, and her invention was adopted by her factory. In an interview with the progressive Woman’s Journal in 1872, she recalled her unconventional youth: As a child, I never cared for things that girls usually do; dolls never possessed any charms for me. I couldn’t see the sense of coddling bits of porcelain with senseless faces: the only things I wanted were a jack-knife, a gimlet, and pieces of wood. My friends were horrified. I was called a tomboy; but that made very little impression on me. I sighed sometimes, because I was not like the other girls; but wisely concluded that I couldn’t help it, and sought further consolation from my tools. I was always making things for my brothers; did they want anything in the line of playthings, they always said: ‘Mattie will make them for us.’ I was famous for my kites; and my sleds were the envy and admiration of all the boys in town.

By the time she joined the Columbia Paper Bag Company as a lowly factory worker, the 30-something, unmarried Knight had spent years as a ‘Jill-of-all-trades’, becoming proficient in daguerreotype, photography, engraving, house repair and upholstering. Spending long hours at the factory, she soon heard of current efforts to create a flat bottom paper bag machine that could efficiently manufacture flat bottom paper bag. ‘I am told that there is no such machine known as a square-bottomed machine,’ she wrote in her journal. ‘I mean to try away at it until I get my ideas worked out.’ Independent of the factory and without her bosses’ knowledge, Knight began to study the issue intently.

By 1867, she was hard at work on creating a machine that could ‘cut, fold and paste bag bottoms itself’. Her work kept her up at night, leading the manager of her boarding house to declare: ‘I saw her making drawings continually… always of the machine. She has known nothing else, I think.’ Her work on the machine also bled into her shifts at the factory. This initially annoyed her superiors – until she showed them her plans – which led them to believe that she had a ‘keener eye than any man in the works’. After a ‘rickety’ wooden model of her machine proved successful, producing thousands of ‘good, handsome bags’, she had an iron version produced in 1868. While the machine was at a Boston shop to be refined, it was viewed by Charles F Annan, a would-be-inventor of dubious morality.

Knight prepared to apply for a patent for her new machine. In 1871, she was shocked to find that Annan had already been granted a patent to the machine, which he claimed as his own. The dispute ended up in court, where the cash-strapped Knight spent $100 a day to hire a patent attorney to prove that she was the machine’s true inventor. Annan’s lawyer argued that an uneducated, self-taught woman could never have built such a sophisticated machine. He was countered at every turn by the mountains of physical evidence and eye-witness testimony Knight produced. ‘I have from my earliest recollection been connected in some way with machinery,’ Knight protested. In the end, the commissioner of patents found in favour of Knight, though officials could not resist chastising her for waiting so long to apply for her patent. However, since Knight was not a ‘man of business’, this oversight was forgiven.

On 11 July 1871, Knight was granted patent number 116,842 for her ‘new and improved shopping paper bag machine for making paper bags’. She soon formed the Eastern Paper Bag Company with a partner, and became a media darling for her revolutionary machine, which did the work of 30 labourers. The new stand-alone, flat-bottomed bags were quickly adopted by large department stores and grocers, and Knight was awarded a royal honour from Queen Victoria. In 1883, Charles Stilwell of the Union Paper Bag Machine Company, working from Knight’s patent, further advanced the paper bag with his invention of a machine that produced the Self-Opening-Sack (SOS), the pleated flat-bottomed bags that are used today.

The vivacious Knight, dubbed by one paper the ‘lady Edison’, would spend the rest of her long life – she died aged 76 in 1914 – inventing. By 2006, when she was inducted into the Paper Industry International Hall of Fame, it was estimated that around 25 billion paper sacks were used annually throughout the world.

In the past decade, Knight’s dramatic story has been told in two popular children’s books – Marvelous Mattie (2006) by Emily Arnold McCully, and In the Bag! (2011) by Monica Kulling. She is emblematic of a whole multitude of female inventors, such as Mary Anderson (the windshield wiper), Katharine Blodgett (non-reflective glass), and Stephanie Kwolek (Kevlar), who created life-changing inventions within industries – and a world – dominated by men. Their stories are important and should be better known. They can inspire future generations of girls and young women to tinker, experiment and invent.

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gilbertandanne · 7 years

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Third installment to the Serendipity/Amaranthine universe. How far would you go in order to protect someone you love? WARNING: as with the first two parts in the series, there is an overall trigger warning for abuse (physical, mental, emotional). That, combined with the adult themes in this fic (alcohol, language, situations, etc), are the reason for the rating. Primarily Rucas.

Rating: M

Soundtrack (not at all in order and will be edited as the story progresses)

Word count: 3,735

Elysian

Chapter Eight: Janus

Janus is the Roman god of beginnings, gates, transitions, time, duality, doorways, passages, and endings. He is usually depicted as having two faces, since he looks to the future and to the past.

The next few days came and went in a flash. Most of their time was spent exploring and revisiting several of their favorite spots in the city. They went to the Hamilton Pool Preserve, the Baylor Street Art Wall, and Mount Bonnell—just to name a few. Their days were filled with so much activity that Riley couldn’t bring herself to venture back out to the hill with Lucas at night. She was simply too tired after their hectic days.

Before she knew it, most of the week had already flown by. Torrential showers delayed most of the city’s Fourth of July plans. While most of the surrounding communities decided to cancel their celebration plans all together, Lucas convinced his several of his friends to gather together on the 6th to celebrate.

Their normal Independence Day celebration consisted of shooting off fireworks all night by the lake at the edge of his grandfather’s property. Luckily for Lucas, all of his neighbors were more than enthusiastic by the idea, so before he knew it, nearly everyone he had every met had showed up. Those friends brought their own set of friends, who brought more of their friends, and so on. After the first few hours, and several phone calls later, they managed to scrounge up enough grills and food to feed the entire crowd. It felt exactly like every other year. Lucas had been determined to show his friends how Texas celebrates Independence Day, and for a few days, he worried that they had perhaps made the trip in vain, but as he looked at the crowd that was scattered around the lake, he had to smile. There was no way this could ever happen in New York.

As Riley watched the fireworks crackle in the dark sky above her, she still couldn’t believe that Lucas had managed to pull all of this together. He wanted to show them how awesome the 4th was in Texas, and he definitely delivered—even if it was two days after the actual holiday. She smiled as she watched the reflection of the fireworks dance across the water. She was beginning to think that perhaps she had made the right decision to come to Texas. They had a few hiccups at the beginning of the week, but the last several days had been nearly perfect. Most of their time was spent with the rest of the group, but that wasn’t completely out of the ordinary for them.

What was out of the ordinary was the fact that she had only spent one night under the stars with him. She had to admit to herself that it wasn’t solely due to the fact that she was tired after being on the go all day. She knew that she was avoiding him because she didn’t want to argue or feel any worse than she already did about not telling him about Charlie. She knew he was confused, but she didn’t really trust herself to be alone with him and not tell him what was going on back in New York. It was easier to just go to bed. It was easier to avoid him. He seemed so happy. She couldn’t bring him down.

Her gaze slowly drifted to the field next to the lake where the guys had begun an impromptu game of baseball. Despite the fact that she was sort of avoiding being alone with Lucas, she already found herself missing him. This week had gone by so quickly—too quickly.

For the first time all week, she was by herself. It was ironic considering the sheer number of people who had showed up to the party. Maya had wandered off in search of a bathroom several minutes earlier, and Riley was beginning to wonder if she was ever coming back. ‘She must have found someone to talk to.’

Truthfully, Riley didn’t mind being by herself. The fireworks had entranced her so much that they had managed to temporarily silence the chaotic thoughts she had been trying to escape from all week. When she glanced back down at the guys, she knew that she wanted to commit this moment to her memory. Everything around her seemed so peaceful, and for just a moment, she thought that everything would somehow work itself out. It had to, right?

“Pretty, aren’t they?”

Riley bit the inside of her cheek the moment she heard Jessica’s voice. Of course she couldn’t have one peaceful, quiet moment to herself. Her voice felt like nails on a chalkboard. For the last several days, Riley didn’t have to hear about Jessica at all, let alone deal with her. It was the only good thing that came out of that argument with Lucas—well, besides the way they made up, of course. She should have known that Lucas’s ex-girlfriend would show up. Tonight had practically turned into a reunion for Lucas and his high school friends. She should have realized that there was no way that Jessica wouldn’t have heard about the party. Riley sighed as she blonde sat down next to her.

“How’s it going,” Jessica asked as she leaned back to watch the fireworks.

“Fine.” Riley knew she was being short with her, but after everything, she couldn’t even pretend to be cordial with the girl anymore. She had forced Riley to think about the one thing she had, for whatever reason, managed to avoid thinking about for the last two years.

The blonde looked down at the grass in between them as she desperately tried to hide the grin from her face. As soon as she spotted Riley sitting by herself, Jessica knew that she must have been able to plant that seed of doubt in the brunette’s mind. “Have you…thought anymore about what I said?”

Riley smirked as she turned her head to look at her boyfriend’s ex. “What did you say?”

Jessica chuckled as her eyes ticked up to look into Riley’s. “Is that the game you’re playing?”

Riley shrugged as she turned to look back at the lake. “I’m not playing any game. Are you?”

Jessica and Riley sat in silence for a few moments before Jessica giggled. “Those boys are so ridiculous, aren’t they?” She gestured to the game at the bottom of the hill. “Every year they say they aren’t going to play, but end up doing it anyway.” She sighed. “You’d think by now they’d know and would come prepared.” She pulled her legs up to her chest as she smiled at the sight. “Maybe one day…when their kids are playing with them, they’ll think to actually bring gloves.”

Riley sighed as she watched Lucas step up to the plate. Was that something he had thought about? He had talked about Austin’s 4th of July festivities for years. Obviously, he looked forward to the annual nightlong party. Had he thought about having kids one day and bringing them to this? Had he ever thought about how he would teach them to play baseball on these nights?

“Did you know that he played baseball in middle school?”

Jessica’s voice sliced through Riley’s reverie. “No,” she revealed before she could stop herself. She blinked several times as she forced herself to look away from her boyfriend.

Jessica nodded. “He was the best player in the state. Scouts came out to look at him and everything. Everyone just knew he’d end up with a scholarship somewhere.” She paused as she watched him swing and miss. Strike one. “But then everything fell apart at home and he started to act out.”

Riley snickered. “Under your suggestion.” She had always resented Jessica for giving him the idea in the first place to get into fights and completely alter his personality to try to get his father’s attention.

She shrugged. “Not my best idea, but he was…desperate to get the attention off his mom. I’m sure you know her pretty well. She’s…the sweetest woman I’ve ever met.”

Riley nodded. “At least we can agree on that.” Lucas had always maintained that he was exactly like his father, but after only spending an hour with his mom, Riley knew that Lucas was the spitting image of her in terms of his personality. His mother made the world a better place by simply being in it. After everything she had gone through, and survived, she still saw the world for all of its possibilities. She put her heart into everything and everyone she met. Like mother, like son.

Jessica said nothing as she watched Lucas miss a fastball pitch. Strike two. “Did you know that when they were here for Christmas, she was looking at houses to buy?”

Riley frowned. “No, I didn’t know that.” She suddenly didn’t care if she had just given Jessica the upper hand in this conversation. Lucas’s mom was looking at houses here? Why didn’t Lucas tell her?

Jessica nodded. “Yeah. I guess since Lucas and his dad have kind of mended fences, she’s thinking about moving back so Lucas doesn’t have to split time between his family anymore.” She glanced at Riley. “I mean, how sweet is that? To be willing to sacrifice the world you’ve spent the last four years building just for the sake of someone you love?”

Riley cleared her throat as she tried to focus on the game in front of her. “You got this, Lucas,” she called out to the field below her. She swallowed as she clapped her hands in encouragement. His mother was going to move back so his family could all be together? She wasn’t sure how much of that was the truth and how much of it Jessica was embellishing, but it sounded exactly like something his mother would do.

Jessica and Riley watched as Lucas hit the next pitch clear across the field. His laughter could be heard in between the crackling sound of the fireworks overhead.

“Look at him,” Jessica beamed with pride. “Acting just like a kid down there.” She turned to Riley. “He looks so happy, don’t you think?”

Riley watched as Lucas’s friends all cheered for him as he ran the bases. As soon as he hit home plate, she saw him turn around and look up in her direction. He had the biggest smile on his face as Asher and Dylan came up to congratulate him.

“Your week here is almost over, isn’t it,” Jessica continued as she watched Riley watch Lucas interact with his friends. “Have you noticed how happy he is here? How free he seems?”

Riley’s eyes fell to the ground. She knew that she didn’t have to say anything. She knew that Jessica didn’t need Riley to confirm or deny it. Riley had been forced to take notice of every single emotion that crossed his face over the last several days. The only time he seemed remotely upset was when Maya brought up Charlie and their subsequent argument the following morning. Other than that, Lucas seemed happier than she had ever remembered seeing him. She knew being in Texas made him happy, but it wasn’t until this week that she realized just how much this place meant to him.

“He belongs here,” Jessica continued. “After everything he’s been through the last few years, he deserves to live the happiest life imaginable, don’t you think?”

Riley nodded. The only thing she had ever wanted for him was to be perfectly happy. She had seen that this week. It felt like he had finally found home.

“Can’t you just picture him playing in that field ten years from now?” When Riley didn’t answer, Jessica looked down at Lucas. “I can,” she continued. “He’d have the best of both worlds. He’d be home…be with his friends and family, and he’d also be able to do what he’s always wanted to.” She glanced at Riley. “He could do a lot of good for this community. The community could do a lot of good for him too.” She waited a beat. “Wouldn’t you want him to be where he would be the happiest?”

“What are you doing here,” Maya asked as she stomped up the hill toward the girls.

“We’re just talking,” Jessica shrugged before she stood up. “You’re missing a heck of a show,” she smirked before she sauntered down the hill in order to talk to the guys.

“I really want to throw her in the lake,” Maya grumbled as she sat down next to Riley. She frowned when she noticed how downcast the brunette seemed. “What did she say?”

Riley sighed as she looked up just in time to see Jessica give Lucas a congratulatory hug. “Nothing I didn’t already know.”

Maya frowned at Riley’s comment. As she turned her attention to the field, she spotted Lucas jogging up the hill toward them.

“Did you see that,” he grinned.

“You hugging Jessica? Sure did,” Maya tilted her head to the side. How was it possible that he was so oblivious to the fact that his ex-girlfriend still wanted to be with him?

“It was because he hit a home run,” Riley clarified as she looked up at her boyfriend. “I saw it.”

He grinned despite the fact that he was slightly out of breath. “I’m so out of shape. I thought for sure I’d strike out.” His smile faltered when he noticed how solemn Riley seemed. “Are you ok?”

Riley nodded. “Yeah,” she lied as she stood up. “I’m proud of you,” she smiled before she leaned forward to hug him. When she felt his arms wrap around her waist, she closed her eyes. “I didn’t know you were so good at baseball.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled as he pulled back from her, “I played when I was in middle school.”

“Yeah, uh, Jessica told me you were good…really good.”

“I never thought you were the…sports…type,” Maya told him.

“There’s a type?” When Maya shrugged in response, he turned to Riley. “Do you want to go for a walk by the lake? Just us? I know we haven’t really…talked much this week.”

She gave him a small smile despite the fact that she could feel her heart drop into her stomach. So, he had noticed that they hadn’t spent much time together. ‘Of course he’d notice,’ she mentally scolded herself. ‘You’ve only been alone once since you got here.’ “S-Sure,” she finally stammered. She glanced at Maya. “Are you ok?”

“Of course,” she laughed as she stood up. “I’ll go find the boys. Who knows? Maybe I’ll play baseball with them.”

Riley laughed. “If you do, make sure someone is filming it…please.”

“So this is how you spend every 4th of July,” Riley asked him as they wandered around the lake.

“Yeah,” he smiled as he looked across the lake. “I can’t believe everyone showed up tonight. I thought for sure it was just going to be us and you guys would never let me live it down.” He glanced behind them where most of the crowd was gathered. “They’re probably going to shoot off fireworks all night. Usually there are a few campfires once the younger kids leave. It’s always this big party that lasts until dawn.” He turned back to face her. As she still stared at the mass of people behind him, he reached for her hand. “Unless you don’t want to stay all night. We can leave and go back to—“

“No,” she shook her head as she interrupted him. “It’s fine. I mean, this is why we decided on the week of the 4th in the first place.” She looked up at him as she gave him a small smile. “I needed to see this.”

Lucas smiled at her before they resumed their walk around the lake. “I’m so glad you’re here. Have I told you that lately?”

“Maybe once or twice,” she teased as she nudged him.

“I mean it,” he squeezed her hand. “I love having you here. It’s like…you’re getting to see the real me, you know?” He looked down at her. “You saw me at my absolute worst in high school, but now—“

“Now I’m seeing you at your best,” she offered.

He nodded. He knew he shouldn’t be surprised at this point, but he still marveled at the fact that she could always read him so clearly. He loved that she knew him so well. “Yeah. I know that we hit a few bumps when you first got here, but it’s been a good trip, don’t you think?” ‘Even though we haven’t spent much time together.’

“Yeah, it has been.” She paused. “I love seeing you like this.” Despite the fact that she felt the weight of the world on her shoulders, she knew that she wouldn’t trade anything for being able to see that smile on his face. Unfortunately, she now knew that seeing that smile had its price. She just wasn’t sure if she had the strength to pay it yet.

He furrowed his eyebrows despite the smile that still lingered on his lips. “Like what?”

“Happy. Free. Like the whole world is open to you. Like anything is possible.” She gestured to the field behind them. “Like a kid. I’ve never…I’ve never seen you act like that before.”

His smile widened once more. Yes, Riley understood it perfectly. Now that she was here, everything felt complete. He knew that she would understand how far he had come if she saw him here. He knew that she would understand that she was the reason why his life felt nearly perfect now.

She nodded. “Good. You deserve to feel that way, Lucas. You deserve an infinite number of happy days.”

“So do you.” He lifted her hand before he gently kissed the back of it. He knew he shouldn’t ask. He never wanted to put her on the spot, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t imagine saying goodbye to her in less than 36 hours—even if was only for a month. “Do you have to go back?”

“Yeah,” she sighed. The week had really flown by. “Maya and I still need to figure out where we’re going to live the next year.”

He knew he had to ask. He had to see if she could stay—even if it was only for a few more days. “Why can’t you stay? You can look from here, right?” When she gave him a knowing look, he sighed. “I just don’t want this to end. I don’t want you to leave.”

“I have to go home,” she answered softly. As her words echoed through her body, everything finally hit her. Home had very different meanings for both of them. New York was her home. As much fun as the week had been, she was starting to miss the hustle and bustle of the city. She couldn’t wait to see her own family again. She even found herself missing thumbing through those stupid apartment listings. It was time for her to go back home, but as she looked up at her boyfriend, she realized that he was already home. This was his home. This was where he was the happiest. As much as she wanted to dismiss it, as much as she had tried to run from it, she realized that she couldn’t run from the truth forever. Sooner or later it was going to catch up to them. She knew that avoiding that conversation would only end up hurting them more in the long run.

“Please think about it,” he stopped midstride as he turned to face her. He reached for her other hand before he lifted them both between them. “I know that right now you’re going to say no, but please consider it. Zay’s already staying for the rest of the summer. You can too.”

“I only brought a week’s worth of clothes with me,” she weakly responded. Her knees felt wobbly and she thought for sure her legs would completely give out from underneath her. Her entire world was beginning to spin faster and faster as Jessica’s words echoed in her mind. She was right. Deep down, Riley knew it all along, but she didn’t want to believe it. She refused to, but she couldn’t deny it now—not when the truth was staring her directly in the face.

“I’ll buy you some more,” he quickly answered. If that was the only thing that held her back from staying, he’d happily but her a whole new wardrobe. He couldn’t let her go. He had missed her too much this summer. He couldn’t stomach the idea of another month away from her. “I know Pappy Joe won’t mind. He’d probably love it if you stayed.”

“He only wants another chance to try to beat me at checkers.” Riley could practically feel his excitement. It only made her realized just how much she had missed him over the last six weeks. The thought of doing this—long distance—for the next four years seemed impossible, especially after everything Jessica had said. She thought she could do it if she knew that it would lead to them both ending up in the same place, but as she looked up at him, she knew that there was a reason why they hadn’t really discussed their future with one another. She knew why she dodged that conversation despite the fact that she constantly dreamt about it. ‘Anything is possible when you’re dreaming,’ she surmised. ‘Reality is something completely different.’

Lucas laughed despite the fact that it felt like he was on pins and needles as he waited for a definitive answer from her. “Well, you are the only one who has ever beat him at it.”

“Three times in a row.”

Lucas nodded. “I’ve never seen him so proud and angry at the same time.” He squeezed her hands. “Please…stay.”

Riley took a shaky breath. “I need to go back home.”

“I understand,” he sighed as they resumed their walk. “You can’t really blame a guy for trying though.” He could do this. He could make it one more month without seeing her every day. They had done it for several summers now. Four weeks would go by in a flash, wouldn’t it?

#ouat2011 fic #*Elysian*#rucas fic #rucas #riley x lucas #liley fic #rucas fanfic #rucas fanfiction #hopefulforus #iwantyoutochooseme #simply-rucas #spamiam77 #jenn0bi #karaa-danverss

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idorkish · 7 years

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Bobby’s Angel - Part 8

A/N - This might be hard for some people to read. There is mention of child abuse. I’ve tried a new style and did little time skips in this chapter. There is a lot to cover in this but I’m trying to keep it easy to read.

Tag list:

@mrstellerwinston @howmanywastedmoments @lolsthecat @soafanficluvr1 @redwoodog @chaosmieu @khyharah @5sos1dsex @opies-oldlady @queen-ofthe-bikers-soa @mrsirishboru @fortheloveofthesoa @ineedthesons @mwesterfeld1985 @divathelover @happys-crazy-queen22 @sons-of-anarchy-imagines-blr @tellermorelli @juiceboxxortiz @ladyannikki @mybabysons @jade770 @kacilove26 @realpowertwix @supernaturalanarchy @thegoodthebadandtheempty

-One year later-

The past year had worn Bobby out. He sat at the kitchen table with papers spread out before him. Since Angel told him what was happening at home, he started keeping track of what she said, eating habits, sleeping habits, calendar of school and other events, what he bought her, how much he gave to Susan, etc. It had been a hard year with all the court dates and mediation sessions. Of course Susan and George appeared to be a loving middle class couple who doted on Angel compared to the rough looking biker who worked at a garage.

Gemma had been doing her best to help but with two boys of her own, plus Opie, plus helping Tig care for little Bambi, and then Angel on the odd days Bobby couldn’t watch her, Gemma was exhausted. Tig’s daughter was starting to walk so, with two walking toddlers around, everyone was extra watchful. Angel had been a big help though. She loved both Bambi and Thomas and often helped Gemma feed, change, and bathe them. Bobby saw how Angel thrived taking care of the toddlers, she was always doting on them and keeping them out of trouble.

Today, Bobby had agreed to keep keep Thomas and Bambi home with him and Angel. Otto and Luanne were supposed to stop in later with lunch for all of them. Otto also had the playset Bobby purchased and was supposed to help him put it together. The house had become a blessing for the little Munson family. The yard was big enough for the playset and a possible pool in the future.

Bobby dropped the paper work on the table and got up to join the playing children in the living room. Just as he was about to sit down, the doorbell rang. “Alright kiddos. Who’s ready for lunch?”

Otto and Luanne walked in with a picnic basket and blanket. “Thought we’d all eat outside since it’s so nice! And the kids could get some fresh air!” Luanne was beaming as she made her way out to the back yard. Bobby raised a brow at Otto, who just shrugged and quickly made his way outside after Luanne. “Alright Kiddo, I’ll grab Tommy and Bambi, you grab their blankets, and let’s go!”

As they sat on the blanket eating the food Luanne had made, Bobby could sense they were holding back something. “So, you gonna share with the class what’s going on, or shall we start playing a guessing game?” Bobby took a bite out of his sandwich and looked between the blushing couple.

Luanne smiled and held out her hand, a large shiney rock on her ring finger. Bobby gaped at the ring and looked between them again, “We’re getting married Bobby! And I already talked to Tig...so we’re wondering if Angel will be our other flower girl?”

Angel looked up from her food quickly with surprise. “I get to be in your wedding?! Daddy pleeaaseee!!!!” Bobby nodded as Angel got up and threw herself into Otto and Luanne’s arms. “I promise to be the best flower girl ever!”

July -

The Fourth of July was here and the club was busy trying to get everything together to welcome the other charters down. Jax, Opie, and Angel had begged for a summer party to anyone that would listen to them. So here they all were, cleaning up the clubhouse, making food, gathering fireworks, and getting the whole area prepared. As Bobby dragged out trash bags, Angel was following him, her excitement showing.“Daddy! I’m so excited! Are we going to set off fireworks? Is Uncle Clay going to be here? How about Uncle Tig and Bambi? Can we go buy water balloons for Jax and Opie? Will there be other kids?”

Bobby turned to her and picked her up, giving her a quick kiss to the nose. “You? Excited? Really? I don’t think you are! And to answer you, Yes, Yes, Yes, Maybe, and Yes. Now how about you go help out Uncle Tig and watch Bambi for while? We need his help moving stuff.”

“Ok Daddy! I’m so excited!” She squealed as she ran back to the club house. Angel had been living with Bobby for a few months and she had finally started acting herself again. She was vibrant and full of life, always wanting to help with Bambi and Thomas. Bobby chuckled as she watched Angel take Bambi from Tig. She was such a mother hen to the toddlers and everyone loved seeing her like that.

As the day went on, and more bikes filled the lot, the music got louder, many of the men got drunker but some of SAMCRO decided to sit this party out. Bobby had drove his pickup that day and had packed extra blankets. The bed of the truck had been turned into a nest like creation for all the children to sit it. Gemma sat with Thomas on her lap and Jaxon her side, Angel sat between Jax and Opie, who was snuggled up with Bambi. Clay had set a small cooler with them, filled with soda and juice for the kids and some beer for the adults. “Daddy when are the fireworks starting?”

“Soon baby. Uncle Clay and Piney went to get them ready. Relax and be ready.”

Luanne had snapped pictures of Gemma and the kids in the back of the pickup before climbing in and sitting beside Opie. Angel ended up sitting between Jax’s legs and leaned back against her big brother so everyone for comfortably.

By the end of the night, after all the fireworks were done and most of the men and women had found a place to pass out, Bobby picked up Angel and took her back to his dorm me. “Thank you Daddy. I had so much fun!”

“I'm glad baby. Now let's get some sleep. I'm sure we're going to have a lot of work to do in the morning. I love you baby.”

“I love you Daddy. Night night”

December -

Bobby was exhausted. Another day closer to Christmas and another court appearance checked off. Bobby wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. They told him it would be easy. With all the proof of Susan being a neglectful parent, with Angel meeting and telling the child psychiatrist what was going on, all the paper trail that Bobby had since Angel was a baby, it should have taken only a couple months. But here they were, almost at the end of the year and seemingly no where closer to final verdict.

All Bobby wanted to do at this point was lay down and sleep for the rest of the day. He was thankful Clay had decided to take Angel for the day. Between Clay and Otto, Angel was taken care of perfectly while Bobby was forced to attend court or any other bullshit meeting Susan and her lawyers decided to force on him. At least he had temporary custody of Angel. Since the day George decided to raise a hand to his child in front of him, Bobby refused for Angel to go back to that house. Bobby got up and walked over to the kitchen, he had given up publically drinking until the court was over with but that didn’t mean he didn’t take a drink when alone. And this was one of those moments where he needed a good drink.

Angel had become the happy child he knew she was once she had moved in with him. She was always surrounded by her uncles and Gemma. Jax and Opie refused to let her out of their sights when she was over. They had witnessed Angel getting hit and almost dragged away by her soon-to-be step-father. Bobby was sure he would be going to jail and losing custody of his daughter that day. He choked back a sob as he imagined what would have happened had no one been there to hold him back from attacking George. His baby would have been given to a parent who didn’t care and a step-father who would physically abuse her at will. Clay had been the one to grab Angel away before George could throw her in his truck. The club had stood in front of Bobby and Angel, refusing to let Susan or George step near her. No one moved until the cops finally arrived and saw Angel’s red and swelling face.

Bobby was hopeful that the police report against George would help with the case. The court stated Susan was guaranteed a supervised visit for the holidays and Bobby was still livid. He knew he had to play along though. This would be over soon and he’d keep his little girl safe.

He was just ready for Christmas already. The house was already decorated, courtesy of Jax, Opie, Angel, Thomas, Bambi, Gemma, and Luanne. He wasn’t sure when it happened, but all he knew was that one day there were no decorations and the next, he wasn’t sure if it was actually his house. He was happy with it though because every night, he got to see Angel smile at the twinkling lights and all the decorations. All the gifts were already bought and wrapped, almost all of the children’s presents were hidden in his home office, waiting for them to be picked up Christmas eve.

Despite everything going on, this would be a great Christmas for all of them. All the kids were healthy and doing well in school. The club was going great and profiting. The only issues were coming from Susan and her now fiance - George. But Bobby wasn’t going to let that get to him. Not this year. Angel was excited about it being the first year she could help with presents and had saved her allowance to buy small gifts for everyone.

January -

Bobby sat in the waiting room of the hospital, his legs bouncing as he gripped the bloodied fabric in his hands. “Bobby! What the fuck happened?” Gemma’s voice rang across the room as she ran to him, the kids and club following behind her. Bobby looked up and forced back the tears. “U-um. She was with Susan today. Another supervised visit. I don’t know..I’m not sure what happened. I just got called and told she was being taken up for surgery and the nurse gave me her jacket…” Bobby looked back down at the jacket in his hands. It was the denim jacket he had bought Angel. She had wanted it so badly so she could put patches on it “just like Daddy”. He had helped her sew on the rainbow and cat patches they found at the store. Gemma sat next to him and pulled him close.

It would be a few hours of waiting in silence before the doctor came looking for Bobby. He tuned out most of what the doctor had said. His little girl had been hit while playing in the street. “Where the fuck was her mother?” Bobby growled out. How could Susan let this happen to her? Had she hated her daughter so much that she didn’t care to watch over her during a supposed supervised visit? The more he thought about it, the angrier her got. Clay and JT stood on either side of him, their hands on his shoulder. “You gotta calm down Bobby. Angel’s gonna be ok. You need to be calm when you go in and see her, brother. Our little girl needs her daddy to be strong,” Clay spoke softly, trying to get Bobby to calm down.

It wasn’t for another hour that Bobby and Gemma were finally able to see Angel. As they followed the nurse to her room, Gemma grabbed Bobby’s hand and squeezed it tightly. Bobby just gave a small smile and took in a deep breath before stepping into the room. Angel was in bed, casts on her arm and leg, wires attached to various machines, and a bandage wrapped around her head. It was all too much for Bobby and he finally let out a sob. Gemma pulled him close and wrapped her arms tightly around him. “She’s going to be ok Bobby. We’re all going to be here and help care for her.”

Bobby continued to sob; he had been strong and tried to hold in all his emotions but seeing his little girl in that bed was killing him. “She was supposed to be safe Gemma! I PROMISED her that nothing bad would happen if she saw that bitch! I MADE THAT PROMISE! How am I supposed to get through this Gemma? My baby girl is lying in that bed and there is nothing I can do about it…”

Gemma slowly rubbed his back and kissed his cheek. “She’s a Munson. She is a SAMCRO baby. That means she’s a fighter. And she will get better. We will do whatever we have to to make it all better. Your job is to be strong for our little girl and make it so she stays with her real family. Make Susan pay for this, Bobby. Because I’m going to make that bitch pay in the worst way possible.No ONE messes with our babies.”

When Angel was finally released from the hospital and sent home, Bobby found it hard to stray far from home. Any time he had to be at the clubhouse or garage, he took the time to get Angel ready to go with him. She adjusted well to being in a wheelchair, and despite the pain and nausea from her medicine, Angel was doing well. Jax and Opie become a constant in his house, so much so that he got a bunk bed for Angel’s room so the boys could stay over.

With the accident, Bobby was relieved to hear that the visits to Susan were put on hold. His lawyer felt that despite the accident, it would help his case of getting Susan out of their lives for good.

April -

Bobby stood in the courtroom, his arms wrapped around Angel, who was sobbing into his chest. “We did it baby girl, you don’t have to see them anymore!” He picked his daughter up and hugged her closer. It was finally all over, he won. “I get to stay with you forever, right Daddy?” Angel was smiling so wide that Bobby couldn’t help but laugh and nod. “Until you’re all grown and ready to move away from me!”

Angel frowned and shook her head, “Never Daddy!”

Bobby kissed the top of her head and carried her out of the courtroom. “Cmon kiddo, let’s go get some ice cream and then we’ll go tell everyone the great news!”

Pulling up to the clubhouse, Bobby smiled at the waiting group of people. He had asked everyone to stay behind and not to attend the court hearing. He knew he would be getting here but wanted everyone to wait for the verdict until he was ready. “You ready baby girl?”

Angel looked up at him and nodded as she gripped her crutches. Just like the wheelchair, Angel had adjusted well to using the crutches. She was still able to keep up with the boys but she tired easier from them. Jax and Opie still kept a close eye on her, never letting her get too tired. They had taken to watching and helping with Thomas and Bambi more so that Angel could rest. “Well?!” Jax and Opie ran up to the pair, their eye wide with anticipation. Angel looked to the ground and sniffled. Everyone paused as their faces fell. The silence was deafening and Bobby couldn’t help but to start laughing at everyone. Soon Angel joined in and looked up with a smile. “I get to stay with Daddy!” Jax and Opie screamed, lifting the girl up and hugging her close. Soon they were surrounded by everyone else. Angel was passed between the adults, who hugged her tightly and covered her face in kisses.

Yea, they were outlaw bikers. They did illegal things almost daily. But they were family and they finally had all their kids safe. “Welcome to the Single Dad’s club my friend!” Tig yelled as he threw an arm around Bobby’s shoulder.

“Yea, shit’s gonna be tough. But that’s why you have us to help you!” Clay pressed a big kiss to Angel’s cheek, “And Angel, nor any of these kids, will ever have to worry about some shit head trying to hit them. Gotta get through Uncle Clay first, ain’t that right sweety?”

Angel giggled and wrapped her arms tighter around the big man’s neck. “That’s right Uncle Clay! Anyone who messes with me, messes with you guys. And you’ll beat them up! And if they hurt you, I BEAT them up!”

“That’s right sis! Op and I will always protect you, even when they’re not around. No one is ever gonna hurt you again” Jax spoke up. JT pulled Jax and Opie close and squeezed them. “This...This is the future of SAMCRO gentlemen.”

#the Reaper's angel #bobby's angel #bobby munson #jax teller #opie winston #gemma teller #clay morrow #samcro #SOA imagine #sons of anarchy

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fashiontrendin-blog · 6 years

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33 People Share Their Most Memorable One-Night Stands

http://fashion-trendin.com/33-people-share-their-most-memorable-one-night-stands/

33 People Share Their Most Memorable One-Night Stands

You know those special summer evenings out with friends where you all stay out a little later than you originally intended, and maybe order one more round of Aperol Spritzes and hummus with pita bread for the table than you thought you would, and all of a sudden everyone is feeling warm and loose and in the mood to faux-whisper the tales of their most thrilling (or embarrassing or weird or funny) romantic encounters?

That’s what it feels like to read the below round-up of quotes from a whole bunch of people who generously recounted the stories of their most memorable one-night stands to Man Repeller. Scroll down to soak them up like that last bite of olive oil-drenched pita. Prepare to laugh, cringe and empathize — and add your own in the comment section if you have one.

“A couple of years ago I went on a family vacation to Cabo, had a three-day romance with a local volunteer firefighter and ended it by hooking up in a fire truck on the last night. I’ll never look at a fire truck the same.”

Peach, 25

“I was 21 and didn’t want to be a virgin anymore so I went on Tinder and had my first and only one night stand. It was great.”

Rosa, 24

“It was 2002. I heard some friends talking about how one of the New York Mets just left the bar, so in my slightly inebriated state, I decided to go see if he was cute. He had just hailed a cab and was about to get in. I said, ‘Leaving already?’ and he said, ‘Should I?’ We hung out at the bar together for an hour or so, then went back to my place. He had an amazing body and it was the perfect first one night stand.”

Nicole, 38

“When we got back to my place, he took off his jeans to reveal boxers that looked like tiny denim hotpants. I was slightly shocked but went with it anyway.”

Annie, 26

“Danish cornfields, a boy named Mathias, 12 beers apiece, up all night at a communal living compound. Unabashed sexy times within earshot of LOTS of disgruntled Scandinavians. Oh — and there was a sauna.”

Hannah, 25

“I was at a friend’s birthday party, and while happy to be there celebrating my friend, I was not having a great time. Everyone at the party was dancing to EDM music. I hate dancing. While outside trying to avoid the dance floor, I struck up conversation with a very handsome guy and we immediately hit it off. He laughed when I told him about my disdain for dancing and swore he’d get me to dance eventually. Later when the party died down, he walked me home. We stopped at a park near my apartment and he pulled out his phone. I thought he was going to take a photo, but nope, he put on “Dancing in the Moonlight” by Toploader. He grabbed my hand and taught me to dance (real rom-com stuff… think spinning me around and dipping me backwards) in the park, in the moonlight. We only made out a little bit, and I still hate dancing, but it definitely made for a good story and a memorable ‘one-night stand.’”

Emma, 19

“I was 17 and it was New Year’s Eve. We smoked weed in his bed until everything became funny. Someone had spilled gummy bears on his comforter, and we kept feeding each other and cracking up. Feeding quickly turned to making out. Driving home the next morning, I kept finding gummy bears that were stuck to my arms and neck.”

Hallie, 25

“It was 2013 and I was trekking the previously unexplored Shilheipung Hills in Manipur, India with a guy. We went up with nothing but a makeshift axe, a rope and water. We reached the top by sundown after a lot of sweat, dirt, him dragging me, carrying me on his back, etc. But the kiss we shared was beautiful and so was everything else that followed. He left to work for the Navy some days later. To this day, we meet up once or twice every year for really good one-night stands, no strings attached.”

Eve, 23

“I forgot my shoes at the guy’s place and walked in socks through the streets of London at 6 a.m.”

Phillipa, 20

“I French-kissed with a total stranger in Budapest at the Széchenyi Chain Bridge, a suspension bridge that spans the River Danube between Buda and Pest and watched the sunrise. I later ditched him after he proposed to have sex behind a motorcycle.”

Louise, 21

“I had just ended a 10-year relationship and I was ready to have my first one-night stand at my best friend’s wedding. I met a guy that night, brought him home and a year later we were married. Now we’re at six years and counting!”

Cristine, 34

“I lost my virginity in high school during a one-night stand (I wanted it that way). The next day in school we had to read the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet together in front of the whole class. I wanted to faint.”

Mel, 24

“I was in college and it was a pajama party, so naturally I was wearing a onesie with ducks all over it. This guy I thought was so hot started talking to me and we hit it off. He took me to the roof where we gazed at the stars together and drank Natty Lights. He was a great kisser and it was amazing sex, but we never talked again after that. Honestly I mostly am just proud that I successfully picked up a guy wearing duck onesie pajamas.”

Anne, 23

“I was 18 and had just moved to San Francisco. I was just beginning my medical transition. I was feeling lonely, so I met up with a guy who had been messaging me on a dating app. It was a bit awkward. We tried finding food both of us could eat. For me, vegan, and him, gluten-free. We ended up settling on a burger place. We started talking and I could feel an attraction. I was really into him. We went back to his place for some honestly mediocre sex haha. I asked after if there was a place nearby to grab a coffee and he offered to make me one. We sat and snuggled for a bit and decided go try to find fireworks (it was the Fourth of July). We ended up in Dolores park. We sat down and ended up kissing and cuddling, hardly able to wait to get back to his place again.

This experience meant a lot for me at a time of my life where I thought being trans meant I would have to sacrifice true romantic encounters and simply cope with being fetishized and reduced to my trans identity. It also showed me that there were men who would walk down the street with me, holding my hand, somewhat unaffected by the toxic masculinity that can be fatal for us trans folk. It shaped my expectations for how I wanted to be treated by men and gave me hope that I will actually be able to find someone who respects me and my identity eventually.”

Tommy, 19

“When I was 19, I had sex with this Australian rugby player on the bathroom sink/basement couch of an NYC hostel. His name was James. He would ask, ‘Do you like this/do you want to do this?” before trying anything, which was totally not the consent-norm of the time, and which my young feminist self found very sexy. We had to keep going up to the hostel front desk for condoms in what was likely the most conspicuous manner. I have thought of the night fondly ever since.”

Britt, 29

“He tried to give me a fish from his fish tank.”

Emma, 20

“I saw this guy at a bar who was cute, alone and seemed non-threatening, so I approached. I asked him why he looked so lonely, which prompted a laugh. We drank, danced, laughed, and made out with each other through the rest of the night. I went home with him and we had great sex. A week later I found out I had chlamydia (most likely from him). When I told him, he was surprisingly relaxed — we both went to the doctor and we were both prescribed meds. After our doctor business, he asked me to come over and watch some Netflix with him, and we genuinely bonded over our temporary STD. We hit it off. It’s been nearly three years now and we’re still seeing each other. He’s one of my best friends.”

Emily, 22

“I met a stranger in a bookstore in Rome and went back to his place where he bent me over a rooftop balcony overlooking the Coliseum and fucked my brains out.”

Muzunga, 41

“We met on Instagram. When I visited LA, we kept trying to meet up, but it wasn’t working out, so I wrote it off. But then she called me after her shift ended at 10 p.m. We met up at a bar lined with wooden planks à la a ship from 1900s; it was filled with rainbow Christmas lights and locals, the scent of the close-by Santa Monica Pier strong. When she walked in, I noticed that her eyes were yellow. Two Pacificos with lime later, we took a cab to another bar, our shoulders close to, but not touching — in the way they do when two people are interested, but unsure. We picked songs from the juke box while she touched my back. I leaned forward off of my stool and kissed her while John Martyn sang into an empty Venice bar. We made our way to her house, a classic bungalow like the ones in Eve Babitz’s books; spent 15 drunk minutes on the floor of her living room trying to calm her dog from this 2 a.m. intruder. I don’t remember how we got to her room. How I got undressed. If my bra stayed on. Hers did not. She called me ‘baby’ while we had passionate, overdue sex. Afterwards, her dog slept between our legs. Two hours later, I called a car from her bed, watching through hungover eyelids as her chest rose and fell. I took the car to the airport and flew home to Utah.”

Ruby, 26

“He was the lead singer in a college band. I had a very serious boyfriend at the time who was 1,500 miles away. I went to the see the band and he sang most of his songs directly to me. Afterwards, he invited me for drinks and we went back to his place. We had sex for seven hours and watched the sun come up. Before I left I licked him from his ankle to his neck as my goodbye. I gave him a fake number. It was the only time I have ever cheated. It was worth it.”

Maria, 38

“It was in Israel when I was visiting the country with friends over winter break from college. I was staying in a hotel and went to a bar with my girls, where I met someone who was a soldier in the special forces unit. He was four years older (I was 18 at the time), and we ended up having sex in my hotel’s supply closet. I never saw him again, and I like it that way.”

Jackie, 19

“I was 19 and in Paris. I met a Parisian in a bar, who whisked me to his apartment on his Vespa. I spent the night and woke up to an empty bed. He had gone to the bakery downstairs to get me warm pain au chocolat. It sounds fake but I swear this happened to me.”

Gabrielle, 22

“I was my friend’s maid of honor, and one of the groomsmen and I were the only two single people in the wedding party. We also had immediate chemistry. We flirted through the entire rehearsal dinner and then were inseparable at the wedding. We both got drunk. He helped me take one million bobby pins out of my hair. We hooked up in his hotel room. I dipped out early in the morning and we’ve literally never spoken again. I still have the bobby pins, though.”

Ellen, 27

“Philadelphia. Tiny Airbnb. Pizza first, then the hookup. Sex toys involved. Showered afterwards. What a night.”

Kelly, 22

“It was Halloween and I was dressed as Björk (the swan dress). I went home with a guy and it turns out it was his parents’ house. I didn’t have a change of clothes and we ended up eating breakfast together (me wearing the swan dress).”

Lily, 26

“I spent one night in Venice, visiting a cute Italian guy from my internship who spoke zero English. It got hot and heavy quickly, so I wanted to refresh myself with a glass of juice. I didn’t know how to ask for juice so I said ‘limone,’ thinking maybe I would get some lemonade. I did not. He brought me a full lemon, cut in half, and proceeded to squeeze lemon juice all over my body and lick it off. It felt AMAZING, but now I tell people my trip to Venice was ‘totally lemons.’”

June, 34

“I was working as a server and had spent the whole night flirting with a very handsome man 10 years my senior, who was visiting Toronto for the weekend. At the end of the night he asked me for a pack of matches. When I gave him the matches he told me he’d only take them if my number was written inside. He texted me that night to make plans. A few days later we met for a late afternoon drink and ended up hitting it off so well that he booked a 5-star hotel room for the night. We drank champagne in the bathtub, ate Chinese food naked on the patio and had some of the best sex of my life!”

Natalie, 26

“He smelled really nice and kept telling me how much he loved my body all night. When we were done we ordered late night take out and streamed Final Destination 2.”

Giselle, 20

“I had sex with a woman for the first time over Pride weekend after meeting her at a bar and I’m gay as fuck now!”

Julia, 24

“He was cute. But I woke up early and en route to the bathroom discovered that literally the only books on his bookshelf were the collected works of Dan Brown. I immediately left his apartment.”

Kara, 27

“We met at a California Tortilla where he helped me select a hot sauce from the hot sauce wall. After we slept together, we discovered his ex was hooking up with my ex.”

Neanor, 27

“I met her during the pregame, a friend of a friend. We talked about feminism. She had glitter spread over her freckles. As a fledgling queer, it was one of those, ‘do I want to date her or be her?’ conundrums. We danced together on and off throughout the night, but I couldn’t get a definitive read on it. At what point do you go from friendly to flirting?… ‘Want to get out of here?’ she giggled into my ear. We got our coats from the coat check, I checked in with the rest of my friends, and we made a hasty exit. She stumbled a bit on the stairs but didn’t fall. ‘Alright I’ll take you home,’ I joked. ‘No,’ she insisted, ‘I’m taking you home!’”

Fatima, 20

“He was great and super fun, until he whispered, ‘You taste like root vegetables, specifically carrots and turnips’ into my ear. I had to stop things right there because I couldn’t catch my breath from laughing so hard.”

Paige, 22

Collage by Louisiana Mei Gelpi.

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