#and that’s what jaiden’s been doing for years! she’s MADE for stuff like this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

be-ready-when-i-say-go · 4 years

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Just A Phone Call Away

Being a single father to a young child is never easy. And it hurts more when being a rockstar has to take Calum away from his little boy.

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“What do you have there, buddy?” Cal laughs, noticing his four year old, attempting to hold his hands behind his back. Calum can see it’s some kind of toy. He’s not even sure how Jaiden got his hands on it.

“Nofing,” he replies, trying to hide the small trinket he found sitting on a shelf.

“Jaiden, give it to Daddy,” Calum can feel the small smile on his face. The little boy is generally very sweet, but occasionally has his stubborn streak. Jaiden pouts, lower lip jutting out, before handing over the small green alien keychain. When Cal takes hold of the toy, he inspects it. The tag is still attached. It’s not something that what left behind someone else. “Where did you find this?”

Jaiden points to his left. Calum nods, knowing he paused at a rack near the jewelry after spotting some earrings he thought his mom might like. “Do you want it?” Cal asks.

“Yes, pwease, Daddy?” His son nods vigorously.

After double checking the price, Cal agrees, handing it back to his son. It’s only a few bucks. “Next time, please ask.”

“Okay.” Calum stares at his son, his black curls and chubby cheeks. A spitting image of himself, except for the eyes. They’re blue like his mother’s. Calum still has to fight the urge to send her a photo, call her, ask her why she’d abandon the sweetest boy he’s ever known. But he knows he shouldn’t do that. She left for a reason; she wasn’t ready, not like she thought she once was. Calum can’t fault that. Parenthood is not easy at all. He just wishes she stuck it out for Jaiden’s first word, the first wobbly run, the pleases’s and thank you’s that always fall so easily from his lips. That would change her mind, maybe. That would make her realize what she gave up on.

Jaiden kicks his feet a little, playing at the keychain before looking back up to his father. He smiles, showing all his teeth. Calum presses a soft kiss to his forehead, before rustling his hair. He hates this; Calum knows well enough. But sometimes Cal can’t help just a quick tussle of his curls. Jai likes to return the hair tussle when he can, their way of showing affection.

“Daddy, stop!” Jaiden cries, trying to dodge his father’s hand. The two of them laugh before Calum finally stops, double checking that he’s added the soap to the basket. Positive that he has, he starts pushing the cart down the aisle before hooking a right. He grabs his shaving cream and a new set of razors.

Jaiden points out the dog food as the pass by the section. “Duke?” he questions.

Cal nods, grinning down at his son. “I got him a new bag last week. He’s covered.”

With a satisfied nod, Jaiden glances around the Target. Calum pauses at the produce. “Green apples or red ones?”

“Red, pwease.” With a hum, Calum finds a good bag and holds them to his son. Jai gives them a look over too before putting up his thumb.

Grocery shopping is fun for them. Cal tries to get Jaiden to make choices about the foods, so he’s more inclined to eat the new stuff. It’s a challenge when it comes to vegetables. The staples like carrots, broccoli, and corn Jai will eat. But peas, cauliflower, and string beans have been a tug of war. Calum finally got brussel sprouts on the okay to eat list and he’s been working on that for a year now.

Jaiden inspects the bag of brown rice. “What makes it brown?”

Calum pauses, twisting his lips up. “I don’t know actually. Let’s look it up,” he suggests pulling out his phone. Cal place a foot on the bottom rack, typing in the passcode to unlock his phone. He brings up the safari page and types in the question while speaking out loud. “What makes brown rice brown?”

Jai watches his father type deftly on the screen. “What it say?”

Calum scans over the results. “So, it looks like that with brown rice only the first layer is taken off. White rice has the first three layers peeled off when it’s collected and processed.”

Jai nods. Calum knows he doesn’t quite understand, so he attempts to explain it down further. But this leads Calum down a spiral that not even he knows not much about. “I’m sorry, bud. I’m probably confusing you even more.”

“It okay.”

“Excuse, I’m sorry. I hate to be a bother,” a soft voice starts. Calum looks up to his left, a woman standing in the middle of the aisle. She grins. “Don’t mean to interrupt a very cute moment. I just need a grab a bag of rice too,” she laughs.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Calum rushes out.

“Brown or white?” Jaiden asks looking at the woman.

She laughs. “What do you suggest? Looks like you like brown.”

Jaiden nods. “It my favorite.”

“Then I think I should go with brown, yeah?”

With a toothy grin and nod, Jaiden stretches to reach it. His fingers don’t quite reach, so Cal scoots it closer until he can grip it. He hands it over to the woman. “Thank you. Sorry again for interrupting,” she says.

“No, I probably should’ve moved out of the way,” Calum says, a blush heating up his cheeks. “He asked what made brown rice brown and I got too invested answering the question.”

“That’s so sweet. Don’t worry; I heard the whole lecture. Would’ve said for a lot longer but I’m on a bit of a time crunch.” She starts pushing her basket away, still smiling at the two them as she walks. “I hope you’re little man was taking notes. It was a great lecture.” She turns back around, keeping on down the aisle.

Calum watches the sway of her hips before he turns attention back to Jaiden. “What’s up next?” the little boy asks.

Calum thinks for the first time in history, they’re going to make it through a Target run without making a detour through the toy aisle, considering how enamored Jaiden is with the alien keychain. But Calum remembers he needs to get another pillow, his is starting to go flat. Now he can go down towards bedding, which is right across from the toy section. Or he can sleep on a flat pillow for a couple more days until his mom takes Jai for the weekend. He’d rather not sleep on the flat pillow. However, the second Jaiden sees that toy section he’s going to beg to at least see what’s new. If he asks for a new toy, Calum’s not going to be able to say no. He can’t ever say no to his little boy.

His neck is killing him. He refuses to go another night on that godforsaken pillow. With a sigh, he pushes the cart to bedding. If Jaiden asks for something, he’ll just have to say no. Calum can do that. Is it fun? No. But he can do it this time. Jaiden’s birthday is coming up soon. Patience is a virtue, or so that’s what he’s always been told and learned. “Can we look, Daddy?” Jaiden asks, craning to look at the toys.

Calum glances over the plastic covered pillows, before he finds the one he’s looking for. “Only look, alright.”

Tossing the pillow into the full cart, Calum starts towards the toy aisle. Jaiden starts to get a little antsy so when Calum stops, he pulls the boy out the cart and holds him to his side. He likes being up high to see everything. Slowly, Calum walks them through the aisle.

“We meet again,” comes with a laugh. Cal looks over to see the same woman before, the one on the rice aisle. “Can I pick your little boy’s brain about which water gun is better?” she asks.

“I help!” Jaiden responds eagerly. “Can I?”

Calum nods, setting his son down. The lady approaches holding out two different kinds of water guns. She squats down to Jaiden’s level. “My nephew is little older than you, if I had to guess. And I’m trying to be the cool aunt, but I feel like I’m failing miserably. Which one you think is cooler?”

Jaiden purses his lips, looking between the two toys in front of him. The green and blue one is big and cool. But the white and green one has the little pump to it. “This is hard,” he mutters to himself. Calum chuckles, hearing his son take choosing the right toy so seriously.

“Take your time, sweetheart. Thanks for helping me,” the woman encourages. She looks up to Calum again. “Thanks, again.”

He nods, leaning into his cart. “Don’t worry about it.”

“This one,” Jaiden concludes tapping the one with pumping action.

She grins down at Calum’s mini me. “Thanks so much. You’re a rockstar, you know that? Got me my rice and helped me pick out a toy. You’re dad should be really proud of you.”

“Thanks,” he blushes, walking back to his dad, wrapping his arms around Calum’s legs. Calum can’t resist the urge to pick up his son. A grunt falls over his lips.

“You’re getting big,” he mutters to Jai, straightening out his t-shirt.

“Have a great days you guys,” the woman smiles one last time before exiting the aisle.

It takes Calum another ten minutes to get Jaiden satisfied with his tour of the toy section. As the check out, he piles his items onto the conveyor belt, glancing back to Jaiden, to make sure everything’s alright. The drive back home is filled with Calum singing, on and off key, and Jai in the backseat dancing, doing his grandma’s finger wag of a dance. Cal remembers seeing Jaiden do that dance for the first time after coming back home after a weekend away. He took a video, laughing and sent it to his mom. She replied with a smiley face. Of course she’d not say anything else.

Home, Calum gets Jaiden inside with a couple bags of grocery. Jaiden follows his dad back outside. “I help, Daddy.”

“Head back inside. I’ll be done soon, Jai.”

He shakes his head. “No, I help. I’m strong.”

A sigh falls over his lips and then looks down to his son. Yeah, Calum could never deny him. He finds the lightest bag from the trunk and hands it over to the boy. “Wait for me before you go inside.” Jai nods, holding the bag of chips with both hands. Calum grabs a few more bags into his second hand and then nods as he starts towards the front door. Jai walks in front of his dad, putting his bag down next to all the other ones.

Jaiden walks behind Calum, helping him unpack things until Duke distracts him asking for pets. Calum watches the two of them play around a grin lifting his cheeks. For all the craziness that has happened since Jaiden came into the world, watching him grow up is the best thing to ever happen. Calum moved back to Sydney after Jaiden was born and his mother walked away. He wanted to raise a family back at home anyway. But Jaiden’s mother thought staying in the States would be a good idea. Calum, not one for arguing, decided to give it a shot. But a year after Jaiden’s birth, she left. She wasn’t ready nor did she think she was fit to be a mother at that point in her life.

Calum tried to talk her, get her to realize that like no one’s really ready to be a parent, but the only thing they can do is give it their best. She was convinced it would be best for the both of them if she left. Calum cried to his mother. He had never imagined his child being motherless; how would he raise a kid as a single parent? Would Jaiden resent his mother? Would he ever think himself different and grow sad about it? How would Cal explain that his mother walked away and never called? She said she would but he knew that her promise to call was more for his sake than Jaiden’s.

How would Calum explain that he never reached out to her because he didn’t want to hurt her further even though that means potential pain for him? How does Calum juggle caring for both feelings of the mother of his child and his child when they inherently conflict? “You okay, Daddy?”

Calum snaps from his daze, eyes focusing on the concern pulling at his son’s face. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure, buddy. Don’t worry. I was just thinking for a second.” Calum walks over, tussling at Jaiden’s hair. “What should Dad fix for lunch, huh?”

“Dinosaurs!” he exclaims, referring to the dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets.

“Dino’s coming right up.”

The second Calum mentions a nap, Jaiden flees. Calum knows where he always goes, under the sheets of Cal’s bed. It’s where Jaiden goes to when he wants to avoid something or he’s scared. Many times when it storms, thunder booming outside, Jaiden will knock on his father’s door, tiny hands clutching his favorite blanket, blinking up at Calum with tears in his eyes. Calum always does the same thing, scoops his little boy up, shushing him with gentle back rubs. He settles into bed, Jaide pressing into his side, head resting on his chest. Jaiden falls asleep to his father’s voice singing in low hums to his favorite lullabies.

Now Calum watches as Jaiden zips down the hallway, shouting no to nap time. “Jai you know you need a nap,” Calum calls out to the little boy.

Here we go, Calum thinks to himself pushing away from the table. He slows his gait, giving Jaiden enough time to curl up under the sheets. “Now where has my son gone?” Cal says loudly into the house. “He was just as the dining room table. I make mention of a little thing called a nap.” Jaiden giggles; Calum can hear it as he closes in on his bedroom. “And Jaiden has run away. Oh what am I going to Grandma and Grandpa?”

Calum closes in on the bed, kneeling on the floor. “Is my tamatāne...under the bed?” Calum looks under the bed. Jaiden giggles from under the sheets. Duke fights to under with the boy too. “Is he….in the closet?”

“No, I’m right here, Daddy!” Jaiden pulls down the covers to reveal himself.

“Ah there he is!” Calum laughs, “A silly little bug, aren’t you? You still have to nap though.”

Pouting, Jaiden looks up with his blue eyes, wide and blinking slowly. “Can I sleep in your bed?”

“Yes, yes you can sleep in my bed. But no silly stuff, mister.”

Jaiden nods, settling his head on the new pillow. Duke settles in near his feet. Calum tucks the sheets in around him, brushing his hair back with his palm. “I love you,” he whispers.

“Love you too, Daddy.”

Positive that Jaiden’s fast asleep, Calum slips up front. He’s phone has been lighting up with messages for a while now. But he didn’t want to talk about work until he was sure he’d have a big block of time. Tour’s starting up in the next six months. Jaiden should be enrolled into school by that point and it terrifies Calum that he has to leave for so long. But his mom doesn’t think taking Jaiden out on the road is a good idea. Not that Calum is angry at her logic. But he’s worried he’s going to miss so much. He’s worried Jaiden will never forgive for leaving him. He’s wondering if he can hire a teacher who has some experience nannying to go on the road with him. So he doesn’t have to miss so much of his son’s life. Some days that feels like wishful thinking, a dream that will never materialize.

When Calum first became a single parent, the boys were very willing and understanding to take a break. They helped him immensely when he felt too embarrassed to go to his mother for the thousandth time over the same concern. All he’s known for the last three year is living everyday with Jaiden, waking up to him, carting him around on adventures and Duke’s walks. All he’s known are the play wrestle matches, and building rockets out of legos and singing to along to every Disney movie. The last few years have just been daily lessons at the kitchen table in Maori and in English. Can Calum give all that up? Can Calum subject Jaiden to the constant shuffling of tour?

Calum dials his mother’s number. He knows her stance on the issue; he just needs someone to talk to, someone to listen to his fears. “Hello?” she answers.

“Hey, how are you?” he starts.

“I know that tone. Talk to me.”

“I can’t leave him.”

“Hey, it’s going to be okay. Jaiden’s going to be alright.”

“How do I bring that up to him? He’s going to want to come along. He’s never been away from me for that long.”

She listens; she hums, she waits. Waits for him to spill his guts, spill every ounce of fear in his flesh. She knows that it’s not that Calum doesn’t trust her, or is concerned about her ability to watch after Jaiden. He’s afraid about what the distance will do to his child. He’s afraid that Jaiden will get mad, afraid that he will start to question why Dad left and why Mom’s not around. Calum’s terrified that Jaiden will compare him to his absent mother.

It ultimately has to happen. Calum has to leave Jaiden. They have spent the months leading up to this, talking about what it means that Calum’s leaving. That Grandma will be staying at the house with him, that he’ll be won’t be going to daycare anymore but school. The first few days of school are thankfully a smooth transition. The week before Calum leaves, his mother stays over to help transition. This what he’s been dreading, being absent. He’s never wanted to be absent.

Leaving for that flight is the toughest part of the morning. Jaiden cries into Calum’s shoulder. “Please don’t go Daddy.”

“I’m so sorry, buddy. I don’t want to leave you.”

“Take me with you.”

“You can’t miss school.”

“I don’t want to miss you, Daddy.”

That declaration breaks Calum’s heart; all the air presses out of his chest. The tears sting behind his eyes, hot and fast. He buries his face into Jaiden’s tiny shoulder, hugging his boy chest to his body. “I love you,” he whispers. “I love you so much. I’ll call everyday; I promise.” This is a promise he will not break. “When we come back here to play, Grandma’s going to bring you to the show.”

Security try to keep the schedule as best as possible. They don’t want to interrupt the tearful goodbye, but the boys need to get kicked in. So Calum place his boy on the ground, squatting in front of them. Calum’s mother stands behind her grandson; she didn’t think it’d be this hard. Calum wipes Jaiden’s face on the sleeve on his shirt. “Daddy’s going to be back real soon. Be a good boy for Grandma, okay, please? I’m only a phone call away.”

Jaiden steps into his father, hugging his neck. “I love you, Daddy,” he cries into Cal’s shoulder.

“I love you, Jai. I love you so much.”

As the boys walk through the airport, they notice fans lined up. Calum can’t stop to talk to them, still wiping tears and fighting the sobs in his chest. He risks a glance back through the glass doors and see his mother picking Jaiden up. He pauses, legs desperately wanting to turn him around and run back to his son, that’s his whole life gone from his fingertips.

“Guess what, Daddy?” Jaiden shouts, settling down in front of the laptop.

“Oh, look at you!” Cal coos, looking at his son. He’s shot up it feels like over night. “You’re getting so big.”

“Grandma’s going to measure me tomorrow!”

“Make sure to do it when I call. Now what did you want me to guess?”

Jaiden shakes his head. “No, you have to guess!”

“Hmm,” Calum thinks for a second. “You got recess today?”

“We get that everyday, Daddy.”

“Okay, uh, you kissed Grandma today?”

Jai rolls his eyes. “You’re bad at guessing.”

Laughter bubbles out of Calum. “Help your old man out. What happened?”

“I got a new teacher today!”

“He had a substitute,” his mother clarifies from the background, fingers working out peeling something just off screen.

“Yeah, but she’s the lady that I helped pick out a toy!”

“Oh!” Calum remembers her. She was very sweet. “Is she nice?”

Jaiden nods. “Yeah, and she remembered me too! I like her a lot. I wish she was my real teacher.” They talk until dinner is made for Jaiden. Jaiden drops his head. “How much longer?”

“Soon, I’m coming back soon. Another month.”

“I miss you,” he finally admits looking back to the screen with his eyes swimming in tears.

“Oh, Jai, bug, I’m always a phone call away. I miss you too. You should be getting something in the mail from me soon, okay?”

He nods. “Okay.”

“I know it’s the same as me coming back home. But it��s only a little bit longer.” When the call ends, Calum rests his head against the leather couch. Why did he have to be so far away when his child only wanted him close?

The last four weeks feel like the drag on, Calum counts the seconds until he can get back to his son. He loves playing shows to fans; he wishes when he crawled into bed, he had Jaiden’s knocking on the door to get in with him. He wishes he could kiss him on his forehead, tussle his hair. His body ache just to hug his little boy. What he wouldn’t do to hold his son?

As the plane lands, Calum fights to keep his knees from bouncing. He grabs his carry on and follows behind Luke out the plane. Fans are lined up and Calum takes a few pics until a voice cries out for him. “Daddy!”

He snaps his head in the sound of the voice. Jaiden waves behind the barrier. Calum rushes over, sliding his carry on bag over his head and drops it to the floor. He sinks to his knees in front of his little boy. “Jaiden, oh,” he cries, wrapping his arms around the boy. He’s grown so much over the course of the tour. He’s a good three inches taller. His face is still chubby, but it’s almost like Cal hasn’t seen him in years.

Tears stream down his face. Calum doesn’t care; doesn’t move an inch to wipe them from his skin. Pulling back, he laughs, through watery vision and blinks to clear it. Cal runs a hand over Jaiden’s hair. “Cut your hair I see,” he laughs. “Matching me now?”

Jaiden nods, tussing Calum’s hair in return before hugging him again. Words are lost in this throat. He doesn’t know what to say now that his dad is back. Maybe words would make the moment less special. All Jaiden knows is that he’s so elated to have his Dad back. Calum stands, holding Jai in his arms. Calum signs for a couple more minutes, but says no to the pictures. He wants to get home as soon as possible and listen to all of Jaiden’s stories, catch up on all that’s he missed.

Jaiden smiles at the fans, waving, but mostly he buries himself into Calum’s neck and shoulder. He doesn’t care how long they stand in that airport. Because he’s dad is finally back, not on a screen, not a phone call away, but here in the flesh. He could stand in that airport for forever if it meant being back in Calum’s arms.

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maikatc · 4 years

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Black Sun Tale | Crimson Capture

Things are calm before a quiet storm, let’s just say that.

Remember this is only a first draft and has minimal edits, but enjoy! Comments and reception is always appreciated!

“Are you actually going to talk with them anytime soon?”

Oliver’s cold skin snuggled up against blankets; he read a book off of his shelf. “I’m trying to do homework, excuse me.” He frowned.

“It’s been a week, Oliver. They probably think that you already rejected them.”

He turned a page. “It’s not that I rejected them… I already looked through the situation but I still don’t know.”

Vittorino raised a brow. “And what did you get from looking through?”

Oliver ignored the question first, skimming through the dull read he grabbed. Though his thoughts blocked the pages the more he went on.

He sighed and closed the book. “I didn’t really get that much out of the interaction. But out of anything I can tell that Annette isn’t actually that involved with the group since she’s with busy with having an actual life. That and the two’s relationship is probably complicated since Annette doesn’t really try to get Ayu out of bad habits and they argue at little stuff like crazy; But at the same time, Ayu may have simply cared enough about not messing with Annette’s work after he screwed it up before, and didn’t want to bother her with something that’s technically unnecessary for him. Regardless of anything though, they’re completely inefficient as a team because their able-ness is terrible and Ayu’s right about not getting hopes up.” Oliver rambled words out in the matter of seconds, zoning out into his thoughts in the process. He took a breath at the end. “I can tell they have good intentions, but yeah they’re pretty much useless.”

Vittorino crossed his arms together with a grin, muttering, “You can definitely talk like em…” He emerged next to him. “You’re smarter for your age, I must say.”

“I just have good memory.” Oliver opened up his book again. “Doctors say I have a larger hippocampus than most. But I’ve been lacking in recent years compared to when I was little.”

“Yeah, yeah, makes sense,” Vittorino nods, “but either way, your friends will be- interesting to you at the very least. Trust me.”

Oliver scoffed, “I already know they’d be entertaining. It’s just that they’ll probably end up like all the rest. I already told you.”

“Okay then. Let me tell you in a different way then,” he groaned. “They’re not gonna be like the rest.”

A buzz rang from the corner of the room. Both Oliver and Vittorino turned towards the sound, Oliver quicker than the other. Oliver stumbled out of bed to check his phone. All there was another message from Annette, the third one of the week.

Yo Oliver, Ayu and I are hanging out in the alley again if you wanna join us (12:13pm)

“God, damn it,” the boy said under his breath. His fingers tattled at words, typing up that he was busy making new chord melodies. If it weren’t for someone interrupting him, he would’ve sent.

“Go with them for once,” Vittorino told him, “You’ll have better days that way.”

“… Will you stop talking if I do?”

“Obviously.”

Oliver’s face went flat. “You’re decent.” He edited the message:

I actually can today, but I was about to work on making some chord melodies so I’ll just bring my ukulele with. (12:15pm)

***

Oliver carried his worn-up uke strap over his shoulders. The day blistered in heat unlike the chills of before, though it didn’t stop him from wearing a thin coat.

The walk to Ayu’s still made his eyes go blurry from the distance. His legs gave in as always from another long week as they screeched in pain. He mumbled to himself with a deep breath, “Just don’t pass out in front of them.”

He clenched onto his ukulele strap as he stood back up from his slouch. The turn was straight ahead of him, and his predictions for what he would see was something he still couldn’t guess yet. “They won’t be that bad,” he figured.

“YOU MOTHER OF FUCK- HOW DID YOU DO THAT?” Oliver could still hear the same raspy voice from before in the distance.

“Hopefully,” he cringed.

Oliver walked into the alley, reluctantly knocking the wall for entrance. Annette and Ayu sat in front of one another, cards in their hands and scattered on the floor. Annette turned her head while Ayu looked over his own cards. “Oliver! Hi,” She stumbled up to greet him. “You came sooner than I thought. We’ve been playing Ono for a bit but you can join in if you want.”

“Ono…?” Oliver peeked across, sighting at the colorful cards closely. His eyes squinted at Ayu’s array of cards in his hands. He also peeked down towards Annette’s cards quickly to see her deck of five. He can literally just pull a yellow two. A grin curled up on his lips. “So, this is what a ‘gang’ does, huh?”

Annette’s eyes leaned toward the side, “Well, we usually goof around when there aren’t any attacks. It’d be too hard to track down when there’s only two people scouting. Right, Ayu?”

They both looked back to Ayu, and both found him fumbling to switch cards form the collector’s deck. Ayu blinked at them as he peeped his eyes in return, then groaned, placing the previous cards he had back to his hands.

“Goodness…” Annette sighed. “We sometimes play board games and figured today should be a game-day since you were coming over.”

“This was only Annette’s idea,” Ayu reminded.

She chuckled, “You’re even more competitive than me. Be quiet.”

Annette continued to ramble on to Oliver as he spaced out in the middle. He only interrupted her after a minute by saying, “Okay yeah, I’ll play. Get me some cards.”

Oliver beat them both by a landslide, Annette left with nine cards, Ayu left with thirteen.

“Oliver, how the heck did you do that?” Annette read over all the cards.

“Don’t worry about that,” he smiled, “You’ll learn how to use the right strategies at some point.”

“This is Ono! There are no strategies.” Ayu threw his cards over his head as he slumped to the ground.

“You out of anybody won’t figure it out.” He wasn’t even sneaky about cheating.

“Try me.” Ayu sat up with a smirk.

“Ayu, you don’t even know how to strategize on anything,” Annette laughed. Oliver played around with his case’s zipper until she asked him, “So you play ukulele, right.”

Oliver reluctantly nodded.

“I know some friends who have ones, but I barely see any guys with ‘em.” She waddled over to Oliver and his uke, arms swaying towards the case.

“Uh, yeah,” Oliver nodded, his smile curving, “No guy in my class can actually sing or do that stuff, so my class thinks it’s cool… but I was thinking of starting up guitar or piano though since it’s more practical-”

“So, you don’t just do tabs?”

“Uh, yeah.”

In the corner of his eye, Oliver caught Ayu scurrying off to a sketchbook and pencil.

“Can you sing a song for us? I wanna see how good a ten-year old is,” she giggled.

I’m tired though. “Sure.”

Oliver opened up the case, showcasing a small instrument. The paintjob was chipped off. The vibrant pattern that original shined was worn and blurred. Oliver picked it up, plucking and tuning with the scratched-up nylon. Tuning only took the matter of ten seconds.

Just a breath was fine for the young boy. His decision on the song gave him the memories of interrupted practices. Though with the plucked introduction, he began his song.

“Oh, my Red Maria. How long has back then been?”

A classic ballad. Oliver observed as Annette rang up with her ears with excitement in her face. Ayu tilted his head, in curiosity, his attention off the book.

“My life’s been dull without your blushing face.”

The chords and tabs slid through Oliver’s fingers like writing his own name. His eyes captured their expressions. While Annette’s face blurred in with every other he’s seen, Ayu had a calmed smile, everything else was unreadable.

“When we meet again, we can reach the stars as always…” He stumbled at a stop. Man, I forgot to figure out the short-stop. “The rest is just repeating so that’s about it.”

“That…” Annette stammered, “That was actually more than I expected.”

Oliver shrugged, leaning on his ukulele. “It isn’t that hard of a song.”

“I can’t play anything for crap,” she grinned, “Why are you just ten?”

“He’s turning eleven this week though,” Ayu corrected.

“Barely a difference!”

Ayu stuck his tongue out towards her. He gestured to Oliver. “I liked it.”

“Ah, thanks.” The responses were mindless and repetitive. “I usually don’t have people to listen so this is a nice-”

A ringtone began buzzing, stopping all the other noises crowding the alley.

Annette raised a finger, “Hold on a second.” She picked up her own phone from a small bag, raising it to her phone to answer the call. “Yo Jaiden, what’s up?... Oh lort- I forgot about that!”

“What do you think this is about?” Ayu moved over next to Oliver’s floor-seat.

“What do you mean?”

“She forgets extra stuff a lot, so it’s nice to pass time guessing what it is,” Ayu explained.

Oliver chuckled, “You really don’t have a lot to do, don’t you?”

“I’m betting a group project.”

The boy’s scent still wrinkled in Oliver’s nose. “Maybe it’s just…? I can’t think of one.”

“Well, she’s pretty predictable so I don’t think there’s that much to bet about anyways.” He pulled on his hoodie’s lace.

“Right…”

She combed her hair with his fingers. “I told you to remind me!... Okay fine, yeah this is a me problem,” she sighed, “I’ll get them today then we can work afterschool tomorrow, okay?... Okay, see ya.”

She groaned in her hands, but whisked back to Oliver and Ayu from behind. “Okay so I screwed up a bit,” she exclaimed, “and I have to go to the mall to get stuff for a project due on Friday.”

“That you forgot about?” Ayu eyed.

“Yeah, yeah, silence yourself,” she hassled. “Um… I don’t want to go since you’re here,” she darts Oliver.

“We can always come along,” Ayu said.

“Oh,” Annette hands opened up. “That’s actually a good idea. Oliver, do you wanna come with us?”

Do I really want to…?

“Do it,” Vittorino’s voice rang in Oliver’s head.

Damn it. “Sure.”

***

Shop lights blinded all around. Every store passed with its rows of sales and mannequins. Oliver walked along the outdoor mall, the sunny day in the Fall blazing onto his dimmed skin. The music echoed with aggravating speakers and pop ballads, and the sounds of voices rang through Oliver’s ears by the heavier crowd.

I can get through this for a bit. She won’t be long, he told himself. He clenched his fists as volumes went at screeches.

Annette hummed as she led both Ayu and Oliver, her walk swaying along with the music. All the while, Ayu’s hood covered over his head as he walked with his head down. Though looking down wasn’t that strange for Oliver, he’d done the same alone.

“It’s burning out here. How’re you in that hoodie?” He asked.

Ayu tilted his head towards Oliver. “I’m usually cold. Today’s not that bad but it’s still kinda cold.” He shrugged. “Besides, I can always bump into somebody and they can see my eye easier and I won’t get as bad of a sunburn.”

“Sunburn…?”

“My skin’s pale enough to get burned easily,” he raised and showed his boney hand, “not albino or anything but just sensitive.”

“I see.” Oliver’s brows furrowed. Damn…

“Okay!” Annette jumped. “You guys can do whatever you want. I gotta deal with the supply stuff.”

She grabbed her phone. “Oliver, I’ll call you when I’m done, alright?”

“Yeah,” Oliver nodded.

“Alright, then see ya!” She waved off before dashing away. Muttering of items got caught in Oliver’s ears as she ran.

“So…” Ayu kicked his leg, “You wanna do anything?”

Oliver stammered. Where would this guy even wanna go here? He shrugged. “Just somewhere quiet is fine, what about you?”

“Quiet,” he pondered, “I guess that could work… Here, let’s go.”

Ayu pulled on Oliver’s sleeve, dragging him to a map of the area. He asked, “Do you know where the bookstore is on here?”

“Ah,” Oliver’s attention zapped back, “It’s right there I think.” He pointed at the very corner of the mall.

“What’s it called?”

“Ferns and Hamlin’s?” It’s right there on the sign…

“Oh yeah,” Ayu gasped. “When was the last time I was even there?”

He gave a small grin, walking off from Oliver to a turn. “Come on,” he nodded off.

“Come on, kid,” Vittorino echoed.

Oliver followed.

***

“Even with clairvoyance, you’re terrible with directions,” Oliver groaned.

Ayu scoffed. “I can’t use it for anything other than monsters,” he looked away, “and that sucks too.”

Oliver brushed off Fall dust. “Regardless of whatever you have, that took us longer than needed.”

“Shouldn’t you know this place?”

“No,” Oliver answered, “I never go here. I go to Fair Woods and even that’s rare.”

“… How much do you go out?”

“Less than normal,” Oliver quickly replied.

“Sounds about right.” Ayu eyed Oliver’s hands. “You look pale even with your tan. Paler than before I think too.”

Well that’s for other reasons…

The two entered the shop together. Oliver immediately silenced from the soft music. The change of atmosphere contented him considering before. The aisles stacked with books barely held anybody else around as the cashiers only stood in patience.

“They’d have comics here, right?”

Oliver hiccupped once Ayu queried him. He only nodded off while reading over the signs. “Probably.”

Ayu stepped pass. “I think I can find it on my own,” he muttered, leaving Oliver at the front.

Oliver stared at space as the boy walked off, debating on what exactly to do.

“How’s it going so far,” Vittorino asked. His stature standing right next to Oliver right after Ayu’s leave.

Oliver’s face scrunched up. “They’re… fine, just like before. But that was the first time anyone’s ever mentioned me being paler than usual.”

“They’re people who can see a lot more than others can, remember?”

“I didn’t think that that’d matter in my case,” Oliver exclaimed. His legs began pacing through to the novel aisle. All that the aisle covered were teen-pandering novels involving the Wonder Chronicles and other stories that made it to film. As Oliver grabbed a book left in the corner, he turned around to find Vittorino already gone. He shrugged. Grabbing a book with a familiar title. “Heard this was good…”

Reading the sections, Oliver strolled to the comic area of the shop. The brightness of colors beaming from the graphic novels. In the corner, Ayu sat curled up with his knees, starting up a comic book from the very first page.

Oliver sat next to him, crisscrossed with a steady back. “Whatcha’ reading,” he asked.

Ayu perked up, his ear twitching. “Huh? Oh,” he closed up his book and pushed the cover straight at Oliver’s face, “It’s a Crimson Capture comic. I remember loving their old cartoon when I was younger so I’m giving it a shot.”

Crimson was unmistakable for Oliver. With their dashing velvet cloak and drawn-out, dark hair, they’d dash through cities to fight crime with only the power of their wits. All that could be known of their identity was hidden by their signature masquerade mask to run through the night.

While Oliver found the idea interesting, he could never take the vigilante seriously to most of his classmates’ dismay. So, all he replied with was a, “Cool.”

They both read with soft pop playing in the background. Minute by minute Oliver passed through pages. Though throughout the read, all Oliver could think of was, cliché.

It’d already turn to a good half-hour once Oliver slammed his book shut. “Lazy writing,” he muttered to himself.

He settled the book to the side, taking a breath as he grew self-aware in the atmosphere again. He shifted his attention back to the boy next to him.

Glancing for a second, Oliver could tell Ayu had only finished a decent quarter of the comic. His eyes held focus on the words as he continued to squint repeatedly.

“How come it’s taking you so long to read?” Oliver asked without thinking.

Ayu blinked, facing away from the book again. “Oh, it’s usually hard for me to read. Usually in stuff in small words.”

Oliver paused, processing the words Ayu had said. “You haven’t been at school for a while, haven’t you?”

“Nope,” Ayu laid his book down, “Stopped at around eight. Even back then I was bad, but they didn’t care as long as I had fun.” He chuckled at his own words.

Oliver hummed. “I was never like that.”

“Really?” Ayu’s voice grew deadpanned.

“I skipped a grade when I was younger for how fast I was learning, so everyone expected me to do everything well and didn’t worry.” Oliver patted on his ukulele case. “After skipping though, I started falling behind because of- this one guy… Do you know anybody named Faustus?”

Ayu blinked and scrunched up. “Who the hell names their kid Faucet?”

Oliver studied his reaction only to find confusion written on his entire face. He sighed, but chuckled from the name confusion. “He… was a weird kid. Popped up out of nowhere and talked to me whenever he was bored.” He chuckled to himself, “He looked like a tween emo-head too so that didn’t help anything.”

“Reminds me of stuff,” Ayu muttered.

“I liked him, though. He was fun, in a strange way.” Oliver pulled his chin up towards the cabinets, searching for words of memories. “He was kinda judgmental back then when I talked with him. Not sure why, but it could’ve been from either him being surprised of how smart I was for my age… or streets-dumb. I can’t tell.” His mind basked at the thoughts he had as a kid. The interactions he had with the white-haired kid baffled him for how unknowing he was.

Then sights of someone walking away and disappearing came before his eyes. Oliver nodded his head down again in expectance of what to come from the flashback. “He told me he had to leave right before I turned seven. Gave me something and went off. Haven’t seen him since.”

Ayu asked, his tone reluctant, “What did he give you?”

Oliver paused, biting his lip gently so it wouldn’t bleed again. “I can’t remember. I threw it away a bit after I’m pretty sure.”

A ring came from Oliver’s pocket. He picked up his phone, Annette’s name flashing at the front for a call, and flipped it open. “Are you done?”

“Yup. Luckily, it didn’t take that long so that’s good. I’m right by the food court so you guys can come up here.”

Fuck, we have to figure out how to get there. “Sounds good. See ya then.” He hung up, informing Ayu of what Annette told him.

Ayu groaned in response. “Why the food court?”

“I dunno, she just said to be there.”

Ayu wrapped himself around his arms and knees. “That’ll kill my stomach,” he muffled.

Oliver rolled his eyes.

They stored away their books together, not bothering to put them in the right place out of laziness, and exited the shop. As they walked, the crowd noise grew to Oliver’s ears once again.

“Fuck…” Ayu muttered, tugging on his hood.

“What?”

“I forgot about how loud this place is.”

Oliver tilted his head. “You’re bothered by it too?”

“More than traffic,” Ayu spat, “at least I got used to that one, kinda.”

Oliver smiled. “I have sensitive ears too. Sucks, doesn’t it?”

“Completely.”

Don’t worry about it. Mine’s probably worse than yours.

“No, mine’s worse…” Ayu mumbled to himself.

Oliver’s sights turned to the boy again. Did he just-

A hand pushed Oliver by the chest. He flinched as similar motions of back then popped back into his mind. The boy whipped his head around to see who gave him the money in his hands again. And all he saw was a man in a trench coat.

“What the hell, Vittorino,” Oliver spat. He ignored Ayu, who walked off without noticing a thing from what Oliver could decipher. Though as soon as he asked, Vittorino was already gone in a blink.

Oliver stared down at the money, the intentions unclear. He then shoved it in his pants-pocket and dashed off to catch up with Ayu.

The walk took shorter than the last, thanks to multiple bright signs directing towards the area.

As Oliver walked up steps to the court, he was immediately welcomed to the aroma. Though to his distaste, he passed it off.

“Dear God, that smells amazing.” Ayu purred, a slip of drool falling so slightly on his chin.

Well too bad for you, we don’t have any money- oh. A click formed in Oliver’s mind. He fumbled grabbing Vittorino’s money. “I have money if you want some food.”

“Seriously?” Ayu batted his head. His eyes shined despite one with dull grey.

Oliver nodded, opening up his hands to show his change to the boy. “It’s enough for the two of us. I’m pretty sure Annette can get herself food too.”

“Thank you,” he gasped. His smile was crooked but Oliver read it clearly.

“It’s really nothing,” Oliver exclaimed. “Here, I’ll call Annette right now.”

He dialed her number without looking at the phone and placed it against his ear. “You called?”

“Hey uh, Ayu actually wants some food here so I was thinking that we can eat together. I have money for him, don’t worry.”

Ayu shied away in the corner of Oliver’s eye. He fumbled with his hoodie’s aglet.

“That sounds great! I’ll get us a table and text you guys where. You get your food, he must be hungry.”

“Okay, I’ll talk with him about what he wants first off. See ya.” Oliver hung up to check up on Ayu again.

“You really don’t have to do this, you know,” Ayu swallowed. “I don’t need to eat.”

“No, it’s alright,” Oliver said, “Just tell me what you want and I’ll get you it.” Besides, I have no clue what else to do with this cash.

Ayu pouted but his stomach stopped him with a growl. He sighed and pointed, “Can we go to the Asian place over there?”

***

Ayu carried over his stacks of a meal while Oliver stared in a baffled state of mind. He himself carried only a small plate of food.

How was there fifty-dollars in there? Holy shit.

“My God, this smells delicious.” Ayu licked over his chapped lips. “Where did Annette say she was again?”

“Right there,” Oliver pointed out. Annette stood tall against her surroundings with her bright face. She waved as soon as her face met with theirs.

Oliver and company sat at a small table. Multiple families and friend groups surrounded them as they chatted about whatever. Steam and smoke from each and every store came seeking out throughout the entire area while toddlers cried for ice cream they wanted.

“So how did shopping go for you?” Oliver played around with the pork dish he ordered, taking small bites every two or three minutes.

“Not all that hard,” Annette answered, “Jaiden was yelling at me left and right about what to get though.” She chuckled while nom-ing a burger.

Ayu never entered the conversation the two were having. Majority of the time his face was stuffed with sushi rolls and salmon grills. Oliver glanced over the note.

Annette and Oliver continued conversing as Annette ate her meal. Though, as time went on, Oliver realized that there really was no use for him to get anything. He checked up on Ayu, who was almost done completely in the matter of minutes. His and Annette’s talking finished so he went and asked.

“How were you able to finish that much fish?”

Ayu chewed as he spoke, “I just really like sushi. Seafood in general…” He gulped. “Fish.”

“Enough to have that much?”

“I was in the mood. Plus, I feel like I’m starving so that’s for one thing.” He took his last bite, falling down on his seat as soon as he swallowed. “That was amazing. Thanks.”

Oliver eyed down on his plate and shoved it towards Ayu. “You can have mine too. I’m not that hungry so-” Ayu snatched the plate and wolfed it all down immediately. Oliver froze in response, shaken by the speed. “Damn.”

Annette laughed as she glanced off her phone. Though Ayu thanked Oliver again as he opened his first bottle of water.

Oliver sat next to him in slight disbelief. The animalistic tendencies being both interesting to watch yet questionable all the same. However, all he could make up in his head was, It’s alright. Don’t discredit the guy. You do the same stuff sometimes too. Just- worse…

All Oliver could read from him was a childish smile.

***

Four o’clock in the afternoon and the street bustling was as high as ever.

Oliver walked along silently, following the two ahead of him. He waited for anything to interrupt the dragging moments. An accident, Vittorino, him passing out, his expectations for something loomed throughout his mind.

Ayu and Annette chatted in front of him. They talked about some sort of show or story, just something Oliver had no knowledge of. Though from what Oliver could read, all the passion seeped out of Ayu’s weak voice as he talked. However, the conversation stopped at a halt as Ayu himself fell to his knees.

“Ayu,” Annette gasped out. She kneeled down supporting him.

Ayu began to shake, placing a hand on his right eye. He stammered whispers until he was able to form words. “Ende Street. Down the road. They’re over there.” He pointed with a dragged-up hand, weak enough to fall at any second.

“That’s so close,” Annette said, “Is it fine for you to stay here?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ayu breathed out, “I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

She nodded and stood up, throwing the shopping bag she held to Ayu. She gestured at Oliver. “Come with me,” and she ran off.

Oliver stepped forward, but hesitated. He turned back to see Ayu again, down on his luck. The child clenched onto his ukulele strap unsure of whether to give it to him or not. Though in a rush, he dashed his way around still holding onto his instrument. He can look inside.

Catching up to Annette, he asked her, “Is he gonna be okay?”

“Don’t sweat it,” Annette assured him while running, “This happens all the time.”

As soon as her sentence ended, Oliver’s eyes stopped upon a gate entrance. Annette slowed her pace as well, signaling him with a hand and whispering, “Be quiet, it’ll be trickier for it to notice us.”

Oliver nodded. He took steps he himself could hear faintly. His case rustled against his back in inconvenience. From a distance, Oliver caught the sounds of deep grunts and breaths that grew louder as he drew closer to a clear view.

Annette whispered to him again. “Once you see everything, don’t freak out. I’ll deal with the monster for you.”

Oliver gulped. A realization crossed his mind. The scent that he picked up strongly in the area was of a familiar crimson liquid.

Taking a turn to the door took Oliver’s breath away. Bodies filled the bloodied floor with punctures in their chest. Their skin was grey like so many before. Their faces held frozen in shock for the rest of their time. A sick hole formed in Oliver’s stomach as his throat lumped together. Not again.

At the corner of his feet was that of a little girl and her family. Her rosy cheeks draining from her as her blood trickled down from her body. Oliver’s own skin turn cold. He bit down against his lip. This is just-.

“There.” Annette nudged Oliver, breaking him out of his trance. Her head faced upwards, causing Oliver to follow on his own still shaking. Though, what stood above was as unearthly as himself.

The creature was hunched, cradling its lean, sharp claws over its stick hands. Its skin was almost nonexistent, as a black mist surrounding formed its indescribable shape. Darkness was all you could sense from the monster. That, and the blood stained over its arms.

Oliver stepped back as the monster tilted its head over to them. Its face drooped down to an uncanny horror. Mists of white and red formed the eyes and fangs. The eyes stared directly at the two as Oliver held his breath.

“Stand back,” Annette commanded. Oliver stood frozen in his spot, gazing at his surroundings.

Annette drafted her feet closer to the monster. Their distances meeting in a confrontation. A breath suppled her movement as she planted her legs apart in an assertive stance.

“Isn’t he going to attack us,” Oliver whispered.

“Don’t worry.”

A hand drew from her side, locking itself into midair and fingers spread wide. “You need patience for aim,” she said softly. Though, the soft voice turned into a loud radiance. “Hey, Jumbo!”

The monster turned around in slow agony at her.

She yelled, “You wanna go back?”

A squeal was heard from the monster, crying in tone. Its bloody hands and legs pounced in a scream. But before it could form a dent on her skin or a creep of her blood, a silent blast distorted the monster from Annette’s hand. Twists and turns misshaped the formless beast down to a single sphere in the air. The monster cried before the little sphere was left, and it tortured Oliver’s ears and mind.

Once the screams stopped, Oliver pulled up his head again to view what was left. And the sphere was gone as soon as it appeared to him, as its remains flew away in black fragments.

Annette huffed, dropping her arm down. “That’s how… you kill a monster.”

She then crouched down to sit, taking her hands to a prayer. She turned her head back to Oliver, who only began to process what had happened for the previous two minutes. She told him, “You can join if you want, but I’ll be quick.”

Oliver’s expression softened as he was reminded of the true results of what happened in the place. For him, it was dead silent. No traffic, no chatter could be heard. All that rang through the two of them was the silence of the innocent.

He walked next to her and took a knee down to sit as well. And they prayed together for the lost lives.

***

“It’s a bummer we couldn’t get anybody today,” Annette sighed. “We were so close to it too.”

“I’m…” Oliver traced his words. “I’m sure the next time it’s close, it’ll be fine.”

Annette giggled. “Nah, this is normal for us. So, we kinda just go for effort.” She kicked a can out of her way, though it barely moved. She dawdled over her steps. “Ayu should be where we left him. He’s probably fine but now.”

They took a turn to the street where Ayu was left. The city-noise returned to Oliver’s ears as time went on. It would’ve only taken them 5 minutes’ time to get back to the alleyway afterwards.

“You know,” Annette started. Oliver turned to find her in a small smile. “You better get your powers soon. Speed like Ayu could be really helpful for the job!”

Oliver huffed a response. “I’d figure.” He followed his own steps, thoughts rambling throughout his head. But he was cut short by a familiar black-haired boy standing in front of him

“How’d it go,” Ayu asked. His hands were shoved into his pockets as he held a numb expression.

“We weren’t able to get anyone again,” Annette answered behind Oliver. “But at least Oliver didn’t panic first thing.”

“Oh yeah, how did it go for you?” Ayu shifted to Oliver.

“It was… alright, I guess.”

Ayu raised a brow. “Weird. I thought you’d be more scared.”

Oliver avoided eye contact. “Don’t worry about that. It’s fine.”

Together, they all went back to the alleyway. Its messy composition remained unchanged.

“So, this was a… decent meeting day.” Annette grabbed her things while talking. “Oliver, don’t get too worried about the entire monster thing. Or at least- don’t feel too bad about it.”

“Like I said, it’s fine,” Oliver swatted out. It’s not the worst. He glanced the time on his phone.

“Well, I’m about to leave myself as you can tell.” Annette waved with cards in her hands. “Are you gonna do fine for the rest of the day, Ayu?”

He shrugged. “It’s like any other day so yeah.”

“Then just don’t die.” Annette jumped after grabbing up her shopping bag. She took a step out of the alley and waved to Oliver and Ayu. “See y’all whenever.” She walked off without a trace.

“See ya,” Ayu replied.

Oliver didn’t say a word. His throat itching at the memory of the area death. I’m gonna be thinking about that all day, aren’t I?

“So, you’re going too?” Ayu sat down as he asked.

“Oh,” Oliver cut his thoughts short. “Yeah. My mom’s probably gonna come back from work soon.”

“Ah, well, have fun with her then.” He grabbed his sketchbook into his hand, starting to write with the pencil inside.

Oliver nodded. He dipped down his head in thought. “I may not be here for the next few days. So, see you eventually.”

“See ya,” Ayu said without facing him.

Oliver left. His small feet paced back home without any thoughts in his mind.

The door clicked, Oliver’s head poking out as he entered. The living room had no change since the previous year. He took his steps towards the couch in which he tossed his ukulele to a small pillow. Immediately, he lunged his body down to the cushions afterwards.

“God damn, this was a long day,” he groaned.

His eyes would barely lay open. His mind slowly grew hazy as his entire body went heavy.

“Not today,” he muttered. In a sigh, he pulled himself back together with the minimal energy he had. Stumping back, he opened his ukulele case and grabbed an item from an inner pocket.

A voice rang in his ears, not of Vittorino, but of a vivid reminder. “Don’t be afraid of what will come.”

Did you expect me to follow that?

He stumbled with his head down through the hallway. His stomach cried in pain.

“Just wait,” he told himself. “Just wait…”

He locked himself in the bathroom, facing himself against the sink mirror. The boy stared at his own deathly eyes.

I’m not gonna make it again, aren’t I?

Ten Dollars | Bread and Water | Red Eye | Next>>>

#writing #my writing #writeblr #writblr #writers on tumblr #black sun tale #bst #chapter 4 #gore warning #swearing warning #fish?#bst oliver #bst ayu #bst annette #bst vittorino #bst faustus?#faucet

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sofiaterese · 5 years

Text

Who is Sofia Terese?

Hello. I don’t know if people actually do normal blogs on here, but I’m going to. I’d do youtube, but I tried before, and it’s too much work. Also, people from my school found it, and I don’t think anyone has Tumblr, so I’m safe here. So who am I? What do I like?

Music

This is a long one so get ready. I LOVE music. It’s my passion, and I could not live without it. I like a lot of music, but it’s not music that most people listen to. My favorite artists are Taylor Swift, YUNGBLUD, Ed Sheeran, and Sabrina Carpenter. I probably would not have this kind of relationship with music if it weren’t for Taylor, so she will always be my all-time favorite. YUNGBLUD and Ed Sheeran are just hard to get tired of. I’m not the hugest fan of Sabrina’s new stuff, but she’s the first artist I ever liked. By this, I mean I was at one of her first 10 concerts ever.

Bands are a whole other subject. My favorites are: twenty one pilots, My Chemical Romance, Makeout, Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco. I also like Green Day and IDKHOW. Panic! At The Disco is probably the most recent one I become a fan of. I mean, its Brendon Urie, how can you not love it. Fall Out Boy is just great. Mania is my favorite album, and Wilson (Expensive Mistake) is my favorite song. Now we have the top three, twenty one pilots, Makeout, and MCR. MCR is the first alternative band I ever listened to. They were top of my list for a while, but twenty one pilots took over. I went through a lot of shit the first months of fall 2018, and MCR somehow just took all those screaming feelings and screamed them in a way that made sense. It was from there that I went down the dark hole of bandoms. Makeout is a small pop-punk band. They were a suggestion form my friend at camp, and I fell in love instantly. I could listen to their album over and over again for hours. Now the last one hear is twenty one pilots, my favorite band of all time. They’ve affected me so much. They make me feel safe and happy, and I love them so much. My favorite song of all time is Before You Start Your Day. It has the power to calm me down immediately. Tyler Joseph and Johs Dun can do so much to your emotions. They can also take over your entire camera roll. My love for them is a whole other post. I’m seeing them on Sunday, and I have tickets to the Hella Mega Tour in August 2020.

YouTube

This can be shorter. I swear. My current obsession is Dan and Phil. I enjoy their content so much. It’s not that I chose to be obsessed, it’s that YouTube won’t let me escape them. The Internet Is Here showed up on an all No Phun Intended and RAB playlist. I also watch a lot of animation YouTube (Jaiden Animations, TheOdd1sOut, SomethingElseYT, Illymation, Shgrr, Erold Story). I’ve been watching DanTDM forever, I know it’s childish and I don’t watch every video. But the content is good and enjoyable, so let me be a kid for 10 minutes. I also watch Bijuu Mike, Eva DeMuro, CrankthatFrank, and Jessie Paege. If we could focus on Jessie for a second, I love her.

Other Stuff

I play softball competitively at a travel level. It’s great when your not in a hitting slump. I’m the catcher, thats pretty fun. I’ve done dance (mostly ballet and jazz) since I was three. I want to do company so bad, but it’s hard with softball, I want to try next year though. I have a dog, three cats, and a rabbit. My rabbit is in 4H, he always does well at shows. My girl scout troop is so chill, it’s barely worth mentioning. I play the piano, and I sing. I want to learn guitar, ukulele, and banjo. I am a total nerd, I love history. Not science, science sucks. I specialize in Ancient Egypt. I know too much. I also love writing, I don’t know if you could tell.

That's all. I will be posting covers on youtube soon.

Twitter - https://twitter.com/terese_sofia

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC92P2Nie94MAuCiVpCGtjFw?view_as=subscriber

#blog #music #aboutme #emo #danandphil #twenty øne piløts #mcr #fob #tylerjoseph #new blog #blogger

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augujerdeer · 5 years

Note

🍎👠🎃🌆👂😱💬!!! Feel free to not answer any of them!

IM CRYING BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY SENT INE THANK YOU jnsjshdjhsdjh

🍎what are yall’s favourite foods?

I think this is gonna be a long post now that I think about it, but i’m asking everyone what their favourite food would be if they could only pick one or two (not everyone answered or can but >:0)

Mine (Jamie) would be pancakes! or grilled salmon! OR SPICY TUNA SASHIMI!!!!

Kris, Chara and Matthew immediately just have chocolate as their answer dicenksfvjk but kris says “anything” and he lives up to it sometimes

Jaiden says gummy bears and gummy worms (all he eats is CANDY)

Kobe says flowers,,,,

Sal is picking between pizza and cheesecake smoothies

Peter says he doesn’t have one yet ;;

👠how difficult is it for y'all to agree on one cohesive outfit?

So this kind of depends on how many people are out, but I usually follow whoever wants to wear something if only one person is requesting something (Like when Kris would screech and ask for me/us to wear the pink hoodie or his sequins sneakers)

But if there’s multiple people, (usually Kris, Chara, or Matthew) it might take a while ksjskjskjs but generally everyone would go rock-paper-scissors or let the other person have us wear what they want! Usually because they deserve this turn or we take turns :0

🎃how many head mates could be considered scary?

HMM,,, I guess I would say Severous first. He’s a 8+ foot werewolf man, he is a BEAR

his fur is PITCH BLACK especially at night and his eyes and drool glow white (so he has no pupils, that’s his entire eyes), so if you’re in the forest in Providence in the middle of the night, you’ll just see a scary OwO face in the dark

HE DOESNT DO THE OWO FACE BUT ITS NOT LIKE I CAN COPY IT IN TEXT FORM

he always stands on two legs unless he’s SPRINTING , but honestly??? HES BABY and we all love him, Kobe calls him “PUPPY” and even drew him a few times while fronting ;;;;;;;; He’s actually a dad to one of our littles Penny and is gay and dates someone from one of my partners’ system

Also he doesn’t speak very well? He used to speak fluently but overtime and he was recovering from being a persecutor, his ability to speak was kind of, disintegrating? So he only speaks in SUPER SHORT and almost broken english sentences. if you visit him you can catch him reading children’s books and practicing to read and speak again,,, he’s baby,,,,

Chara (from undertale) could be considered scary inspace becaus ethey can go goopy- they’re not a scary person but if they want to scare you, (especially if you don’t know who they are i mean), they will be intimidating and stuff ;; when i first met them, they did spook me, and their eyes are very bright red

Sal (from Sally Face) I guess could be considered spooky because i was drawing him in class one time (prosthetic ON of course) and my friend said he looked scary ;;;? poor sal;;; he’s not scary at all

🌆what does your headspace look like?

*clasps hands together* goodness it’s a good thing i made this map. it’s VERY OLD but it’s still the same except imagine everything is WAAAAAY more spaced Out!

honestly i need to move the teleporters and mansion higher up (and the main tree closer to them) but this is it!!!

The most common places people go to is The Mansion, The Bunker, The Farmhouse, and The Picnic Ground! People when going for walks in the forest usually stick around the Picnic Grounds-Cave Pool-Farmhouse Triangle but usually can go anywhere- the forest is SO big though (alven took me flying once and it stretches to the horizon)

The Mansion is where most of us live! Here you can find Jaiden and the kids (Kobe, Aco, and Penny– and Carla (Carla is an NPC [who is aware of the outside?] but we don’t care she is family). Alven is also here with his lab, so is Joseph and Louise!! (and their dog, Troy). On the outside, you can’t see the mansion, only two giant doors (nobody ever uses kdndckdocsl we honestly just use the teleporters to go anywhere– Also, everything you see INSIDE the meadow excluding the bunker was what our headspace FIRST looked like!!! it was the start of everything ;; Jaiden made the mansion. The mansion has two main rooms- The Main Hall, and The Tall Corridor. There’s a looooot of history here

The Farmhouse is where I (Jamie) live! But i’m not inspace a lot so it’s honestly empty until i meditate there ;;

The bunker existed and is a place some people permanently moved to because we started having some Bad Refuses To Do Good Persecutors, or just bad people. They were VERY violent so half of us went to hide- and eventually the entire system actually moved to the bunker for almost a year and a half before moving out- and then some people stayed- mainly Matthew. People who live in the bunker are Matthew, Kris, Peter, Jade, Chara, Liam, and Sal! Icari should be here somewhere but i think she’s still hiding ;;

Most of the time if we have a new person, they move to the bunker right away. There’s a teleport system almost all over the frequent spots in the headspace so they can easily leave and enter! Matthew lives one the second ground below the 1st ground below because of some bad things that happened- he never leave the bunker because being outside scares him a lot- especially with the entire headspace being a forest :( you need special access to get down there

The Picnic grounds isn’t very special to me personally but Jaiden made it so people can have picnics!! It’s honestly SUPER pretty oh goodness, and no matter what time of day (unless it’s night) the sun is always shining nicely and it’s so pretty there, and people actually go there!!

The only people that don’t go there are Joseph and Louise because we had one bad person hurt them badly in that area,

Also the Ruined City i didn’t mention because– no one goes there- but we all know it exists. Basically it’s a purely grey/monotone/greyscale land? Like the moment you enter, the world transitions to black and white (not your body but the environment) and the only things that have colour are the miss and greenery in the background (mostly grass and parks, not a lot of trees). all the buildings are collapsed or destroyed in some way- so imagine a big area with degree and rubble and standing building but there’s so many destroyed parts like one building is missing an entire second floor and another has a giant gaping hole not eh side, etc.

we also don’t go there because it’s dangerous- there are giant SPIDER robots that patrol the area- we still don’t know why, but they shook lasers! (come back to this post later because I WILL add a picture of what i’m talking about!! i just don’t have my phone on me)

ANYWAY THERES MORE BUT ITS TOO MUCH TO PUT HERE

WE ALSO HAVE ANOTHER PLANET

👂What kind of music do y'all like?

Jamie - what do you mean people have favourite music? i’m just kidding uksdeijfdkj i like indie and broadway!!! pop is pretty cool but it’s not my first choice at all ;;; rock and metal hurts my ears

Chara - they have 4 playlists on spotify! One playlist is called Soft Knives for calm music (it’s usually happy but there could be some sad ones there- but no angst songs- imagine songs you can sleep to or calm down with). Blunt Knives is for angsty or apathetic moods- and Angry Knives is for ANGRY LOUD music. The have a 4th playlist called Chara’s Classical Collection. Chara can range from Classical music to indie music death metal and rock. They usually hate pop

Kris - he loves rap and r&b! though he loves a lot of music besides those! He loves tally hall and kid bloom :0 mostly chill or music that makes you go aW YEAH (his words) he also has Classic Songs in his playlist. So if you have it one shuffle, you’re listening to some sick bops and then all of a sudden Rockefeller Street Nightcore comes on and you get whiplash. doesn’t like metal or rock. He has a second playlist called “it’s Saturday Morning” for stuff like heo soul or “music you can dissociate to but not in a bad way” (Listen to Sugarcoat by Kid Bloom or Different State of Mind (some artist) for a general idea)

Matthew - rock and stuff similar to chemical romance and panic! at the disco. they like metal and rock but he says Sal’s and Chara’s are too aggressive for his taste- and hen you find out he sometimes listens to screamo

Sal - honestly i find his playlist super weird ? Some music sounds weird to me but otherwise his playlist is full over a lot of genres ! It’s kind of wack and funky- not the genre- but the amount of variety he has. And in his 2nd playlist is death/metal and rock- a bunch of loud music that can be fast sometimes too- is not afraid to head bang in public and do air guitar

Peter - We’re not sure yet but he likes music from his time- plus old music- specifically New Wave for now!his playlist is super new and he hasn’t been here a while so we’re not sure o>o

Jade - Soft calm or upbeat and happy music

Kobe and Aco - they are babies- Kobe still sings the ABC’s everyday so

😱do your headmates have any phobias?

i don’t think any of us has phobias- because it’s defined as “irrational fear” actually wikipedia says it can be CAUSED so nevermind dkjjkfd

Honestly these feel like triggers more than phobias butnit first thendescription of a phobia so;; i’m putting POSSIBLE because we’re not sure

Chara - Possible Nyctophobia (fear of the dark, but specifically extreme pitch blackness for Chara), Possible Ecclesiophobia (fear of the church -either building or what it represents])

Matthew - Agoraphobia most probably (fear of going outdoors/leaving the house, some say wide open spaces)

Sal - somewhat Cynophobia but wants to overcome it (fear of dogs) ((likes dogs but is afraid of them honestly))

Kris - Monophobia/Autophobia (Fear of isolation and abandonment) ((this is a big one))

That’s all i can think of for now

💬free space! one cool fact!

uuHHH,,,,,, i can’t think of any, but i know one thing: i love our system and i can see everyone’s trying really hard to take care of each other or are doing a lot to process their own memories and feelings ;;;

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lady-celeste25 · 5 years

Text

The Immortal Detective

Chapter one:

The rough sunlight beams into my eyes like an alien beaming a cow up in one of those old Science Fiction films. One of the Good ones. I try to drag the cap on my head down, but it's no help. I did it again, dammit... I slept in my uniform. I really need to get into some sort of pajamas. The same uniform I had been requested to wear all day and night from the moment I had gotten it yesterday. 'To make sure they got the measurements correct,' or whatever. Except for the cap, that was normally placed on the head of the person sleeping in the next room.

When the alarm to get up finally rings, I don't jump. Not anymore. It's practically routine by now. I quickly sit up, push back the heavy comforter, and stumble off the bed to the mirror, kicking away some shorts and fast food containers. Sure, the thing in the mirror may be a mess, but I assure you, it's me. What you see may be a tired, tall, messy-haired child wearing a baggy police uniform. In reality, I'm a tired, tall, messy-haired child who is now a detective in training.

After 3 long years of training and practicing, I had finally graduated from being a normal police officer to being a detective. Through countless mental and physical tests, and learning how to use a gun (which I didn't want to). And it's all for the little girl in the silver picture frame on my dresser.

The little girl in the picture had small dimples, grossly cut hair, and held tightly in her hand was a book. That's my little sister, Jaiden. She's the person next door. The one that I should probably go wake up and make sure she'll be fed and ready for school. I don't bother doing anything else with myself, there's still 2 hours left before I report to the chief.

I slowly creep over to the door next to mine. The one that now had a quote and Hufflepuff decal on it. I jiggle the broken doorknob and let myself in. After stepping over a stack of books and a mound of crumpled up papers left over from what seemed like one of her late-night idea sessions. Once I find myself In front of a small steel bed, I notice that the small lump that's normally there is no longer there. Jaiden isn't in her bed. She isn't in her bed. Panic fills my eyes and wracks through my brain.

"Jade?" I call out. "Jade? Where are you?" My eyes switch around the room. A tightening feeling goes around my lungs and practically steals the breath from them. I should've never let her sleep with the window open. What if someone took her?! Nobody would want her! "JADE!"

Calm yourself, Bevel! I say to myself. You're going to become a detective! You have the brains to find your own sister! Where would she go? Does she really not wanna live here? Or did someone take her? Gotta look for evidence. I start overturning books, tearing apart her bed, and even knocking over her lamp. This is a crime scene now! She's probably at one of her friend's houses. But, which friend?! Mya? Courtney? Myrtle? Stephanie-?

"Dakota!" A voice said from behind me. "What are you doing in my bedroom?"

I jump up a little and turn to see Jaiden in her white school uniform and her hair neatly brushed out. She held two ribbons in one hand and a brush in her other. I sigh in relief.

"I didn't know where you were," I say. "What are you doing up so early?"

"Waiting for you to get up," she answers. "Also cooking breakfast. If you didn't know where I was, how are you going to be a detective?"

"What?" I grab the brush from her hand as she sits down on the ground and I sit on the bed. "But, I normally make breakfast." I also decide to completely ignore her rude question about me being a detective.

I start to brush out her hair as she makes a face that I can see from the mirror on her wall, "you don't make anything right. Somehow you even make cereal taste bad. I was perfectly fine popping in some Eggo waffles and putting syrup on them. Which, by the way, do not need any altercations like you said they needed."

"Hey, dad used to infuse all those berries and stuff," I point out as I gather half of her hair into one hand and the other half in the other hand. "Plus, even though I'm no good at cooking..." I take my hands away to reveal two perfect buns on her head, tied up with the ribbons. "I'm pretty great at doing hair."

She smiles, "Yeah, yeah... whatever." She stands up, takes the brush, and hugs me. "I gotta go. There are waffles for you in the microwave. Don't forget to take your allergy pill and make sure you don't stutter too much while talking to this new Detective."

I roll my eyes, "whatever you say, ma'am."

Jaiden beams brighter as she grabs her bulging backpack from the floor and leaves. Out her open window, I watch the yellow bus pull up and her run out to get onboard. A sigh escapes my lips.

Jaiden is eight years younger than me. She's still in Middle School as I try to work at getting a good paying job. Yet, somehow, even though I'm older she acts like I'm a three year old. True, I kind of am... but she doesn't need to point it out.

I stalk off to the dully colored, unlit kitchen. The one window had its curtains closed making it almost completely dark. I open said curtains and stare out at the view: a red brick building with graffiti on it. Great. Gotta love city life. On the small TV in the living room, the news was blaring. The woman on TV was talking all about Stock prices rising, or something. It doesn't much bother me. I grab out my waffles, sit down on the wobbly chair I'll have to fix later, and drown my waffles in syrup. Then, I take out my phone and start scrolling through some random pictures.

Over the sound of the TV, I could hear the neighbor's dog barking. A little way out, the thumping of machines fixing something in the road was barely audible but I could still hear it. I could hear lots of things I probably shouldn't. Arguments, secrets, plans. That's why I thought I would make a good detective. But, something about working in the city really deterred me from doing it. See, my family is from Indiana. Like, a really small country town in Indiana. Everyone knew each other and things were spectacular. Except when... things happened. Things that I don't like talking about... So, to make sure I made a living and Jade would be able to afford being sent to school, I moved to Cincinnati. The land of plenty mistakes and accidents.

About half-way through my waffles, I see a crumpled piece of paper across the table filled with pen marks. So, she actually finished one in the morning? I grab it and read it.

The great perhaps is that there may be life lasting beyond from where we stand now. In the idea that I'm writing about currently, I propose that maybe someone could live past their own expiration date. Maybe, someone could have seen the whole world go by but never change. Would they be sick of this? Or, maybe they would-

I snort and start laughing. Ever since... the incident... I had been encouraging Jade to write out her ideas and feelings. They were normally wild and outrageous. But, that's what you can expect from a kid with a wild imagination. She is only nine. I grab the paper, take one last bite of my waffles, and go back to my room.

I set my phone on the dresser and kneel down by my bed. From under my bed, I pull out a beaten up brown box with tape on the top. On the tape in permanent marker were the scribbles, 'words and stuff.' It was filled to the brim with small writings, all dated and signed by Jade herself. I add the new paper in. I keep telling her she should pursue a career in some sort of literature, but she's convinced herself that it will make her no money. Every time she says something like that, I bring up J.K. Rowling or Rick Riordan. She still doesn't think it's her speed. Whatever.

I throw the cap to the other side of the room and start to go through my locks of greasy hair, trying to make them stay in some sort of better position. Sure, I'm going to take a shower but I need to at least look a little decent to do that. Maybe even just My body slowly picks itself off the floor and I put my hand on the doorknob to go into my bathroom, but a ringing sound cuts me off.

Quickly, I grab my phone from off the desk and check the profile picture. A gruff looking man in the same police outfit (except with more medals) with his cap pulled over his eyes is shining back up at me. The contact name was 'The Chief,' and this was surely my chief. I gulp and press the accept answer.

"Hello?" My voice cracks. Jesus... does it always have to be like this when I talk to him.

"BEVEL!" The voice of my chief screams. "WHERE THE HELL ARE YA?! YOU'RE LATE!"

"But, chief," I say, "it's only eight."

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE BY 7:30!" The phone crackles over the power of his voice. "BE HERE IN 15, OR YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE JOB!"

I try to explain myself but the phone fuzzes off. I shove the phone in my pocket, grab my cap, and bolt out the door. My hair will just have to be greasy and my teeth grimy with waffles. Things will be fine. They'll be fine.

I get into the car and fumble around with the keys to start it. Damn, how did I get it that wrong? Hopefully, this goes right, or else it's my head... and my future...

#writing #my writing #wattpad books #wattpad #chapter one #the immortal detective #immortal #detective

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sweet-xoxo-thatcares · 3 years

Text

In Jay's World (Aka now Jaiden's World):

I wasn't allowed to talk back to her and Ayunna.

Ayunna was allowed to kick me out or tell them to abandon me whenever they both felt like my emotions were too much for them to handle.

I wasn't allowed to talk or tell anyone about Jay and Ayunna using me for fun and/or bdsm sex.

I wasn't allowed to ask why Jay would stay fully clothed when they would interact in sex with me, but not Ayunna.

I wasn't allowed to stand up for myself.

I wasn't allowed to say no to bdsm or ask for aftercare.

I wasn't allowed to have feelings for any of them and act on it.

I wasn't allowed to talk about how angry I felt or depressed I was getting.

I wasn't allowed to be my sensitive self.

I wasn't allowed to ask questions to get to know them better or to find out what their long term goals/short term intentions were with me.

I was never allowed to say anything bad about Jay and Ayunna as sex partners, friends, their relationship, or their beliefs, ideologies about love and hate. While they acted as if they were allowed to say whatever about me.

I wasn't allowed to ask for a cgl relationship that didn't involve as much bdsm sex because Jay didn't want to take care of me or be responsible as a caregiver. They only wanted the sadistic dom role, and me being the innocent, obedient sub who wasn't allowed to question their master.

I was never allowed to ask about Jay's family or their dark past.

I was never allowed to say I don't like bdsm for what is stands on.

I wasn't allowed to cook for them (which I thought was weird...)

I wasn't allowed to talk to other guys/girls in front of Jay and/or talk about other people Im dating/talking to on the apps or Jay/Ayunna would get jealous. Jay even took my phone once and started texting one guy as me.

I wasn't ever allowed to make Jay wait for me, but Jay didn't care about making me wait or leaving me on read, ignoring me or being rude directly if they did not want to talk to me for whatever reason.

Jay didn't want me to text them at work cause they were too busy or even after work if they were too tired, but Jay would text me or call me in the middle of the night if Ayunna fell asleep and they had insomnia and wanted to cuddle her right after.

I wasn't allowed to leave them when they didn't want me to or they would guilt trip me and then be resentful...sometimes disrespectful.

I was allowed to date other people, but I would still get guilt tripped for being at my boyfriend's house for not paying as much attention to them (still being involved with them, but not together or having sex)

Summary: I was only allowed to be an available, sexless, obedient child, side chick, a friend, offered only breadcrumbs of what ever they wanted to give me, sometimes wayyyy less than what I needed. I gave them what they wanted from me, but anything I needed or was bare minimum of respect of time, care, and loyalty, and asking someone to take responsibility for their side it what made pull the gun. I had had enough being tricked, pulled, fooled, and told what to do.

I was supposed to get up and leave when they told me to, especially if it was just because Jay or Ayunna wanted to have sex. Even though they were the ones who invited me over. So, I would just have to go home early if they were both horny.

Jay even kicked me out of the 2nd passenger seat upfront once when I came with Ayunna to pick Jay up. They just told me to get out and grabbed me on the shoulder. I got tired of being treated like a child just because they were annoyed and grumpy after work. They were so rude to me even more after they started that factory job. And I didn't do anything to them or say anything mean to them.

I didn't deserve to pushed aside like that, then you wanna be nice when you wanted me to come by, be your friend (consistently playing the friend button on/off) because you felt alone or then cutting the fwb button back on because you wanted some pussy????

We were no longer friends after that. They showed no respect and even seem to have gotten tired of me, by looking for other girls to have sex with while both in front of me and Ayunna.

Jay stopped caring. And Thats why I stopped trusting them with my emotions and telling them things about me.

I just packed my shit up and left. Because all that talk about them liking me, or even imagining us getting married was all bullshit just to keep me interested in them. They wanted their cake and to eat it too. Jay wanted a 4th, in the bedroom.

Jay wanted an orgy with me, Ayunna, and some other stranger...I have no idea why or were...but that was the 1st time I ever truly saw Jay as depressed, greedy, and not giving a fuck now about what they or who they wanted to have sex with.

To them it was, the more, the merrier, because Jay was unhappy and loosely changing into someone or wanting something even more.

And by golly, I didn't find out what that was until months after this year.

Jay wanted change their relationship to date/sleep with other ppl separately without Ayunna all the time and they wanted to transition into being a man.

And never knew he was gonna do that, cause no one ever told me. I wonder when did they know they wanted to start taking testosterone, but Jay said I wasn't allowed to ask about stuff like that before, because Ayunna would have considered that emotional cheating at the time. That and stuff like telling me if they felt like they were feeling suicidal. Jay wasn't even allowed to say stuff like that to me either, cause Ayunna didn't want us to get that close.

Thats how I knew these people weren't really my friends.

Real Friends can tell you anything and actually want you to get to know more about them. Not put you down for asking or wanting to know more about who they truly are.

Jay always made it seem like they couldn't trust me and same to Ayunna. The emotional resistance to get along, the lack of reciprocations to share, the cutting me off when asked "Jay, where are you from?"

Jay even said "you're supposed to ask for consent to get to know somebody."

And I was so shocked and disgusted that they even said that to me.

Because I thought we were friends? I'm not allowed to ask about who you are or what you want to do in life?

That's gaslighting and its manipulating me to make me feel bad about wanting to know more about the person who I gave my virginity to and had sex with.

I was shocked that we never did get to talk about our home states with each other vs when I talk to my one real friend she's not afraid to let me ask her anything and is ok with sharing all her secrets with me.

It just shows me now, that Im glad I never got to hold your hand. You pushed me away even for just asking for a hug. Told me to go away before. You were always at a distance from me and I got so angry, so ready to fight Ayunna because I used to be so available for you to tell me anything, but once you guys moved in, it was like you cut me off, out of your circle, out of your life.

You didn't need me to listen to you anymore. You didn't want me to know you started changing and sneaking around with other girls behind me and Ayunna's backs too.

I knew you were talking to somebody else....and you became something you didn't want me to see.

So yea, I have no idea who you are anymore.

Jaiden, is basically a stranger to me.

Like you completely tied off your female body connected to me and cut it off.

The real question is; What made you reject Jay? After all these years?

I heard you talking to Ayunna about changing your name to Jaiden in the car after you thought I fell asleep on the way back from the mall. But you never once not talked to me about it, nor did you say anything about Jaiden being your transitional identity.

Because Jayden (totally different spelling) was the 10 yr little personality (which I think is really a dissociative identity alter) that was made by their true self to protect them from remembering Jay's rape. Because that's what the alter told me when you were black out drunk that one night you had too much Captain Morgan.

So who is the new you? Jayden, the 10 year old or are you just changing your name to Jaiden to be closer to Ayunna as a male partner, now that she came out as a they too, non-binary.

Im so confused because I don't even know the signs of somebody questioning their gender if they have always seemed so naturally femme in their personality, but then again she did always try to match with Jay when they wore matching black, butchy shirts.

So yea, maybe she was inspired by Jay's image as a them, not a she.

I still don't know if that means this whole entire time, Jay was also interested in men, trans women, and even other trans men. I always assumed because they kept bringing up girls that Jay was into girls and lesbians...not all of the above like being pansexual...

But I guess they are, but of course now I feel slighted as to why they kept forcing me to stop wanting to ask questions about what they like and who they are.

I probably would have figured it out and they probably would have assumed I would have been upset had they told me about their true personality, their true gender, and their true homosexuality for men.

Jaiden didn't trust me to know, hence them blocking me back on instagram in April, after I had already blocked them.

They never wanted to come back, change my mind, and to see them switch to being somebody else.

I'm glad they're not my soulmate. That was whole lot to hide and consistently hide behind without telling me all of the whole truth.

After what I said to Jay, they'll never talk to me again or give me closure as to why they changed so drastically and never told me when, why, or how.

I'm pretty sure if someone threatens to call the cops on you for harassing them through text, then yes, they don't want me to say happy birthday or anything like that for the rest of our separate lives.

Jay would rather I just be gone, not ever knowing who Jaiden is and who was the other one about Jayden.

I'm glad I stopped trying to get into contact and just started focusing on me growing, and getting myself better, getting a nice car, and moving out of state, hopefully by next year.

I wanna go back home to Florida, but I wanna see New York or New Jersey, and even visit my great uncle in Seattle.

He ran away to Seattle from Grand Rapids after a girl broke his heart too.

And thats the end of me and Jay. No more ghost stories.

I'll sleep better in my bed tonight after confessing my sins to the internet lol.

But that also brings me up to say, Jay did get excited when I had thought to buy men's performance pills from cvs, thinking it would make us horny and our clits get hard....and Jay did start wearing a packer(fake dick to give them a bulge) and got really excited for us to pay attention to the bulge in their pants, even though I didn't really care for it at 1st and thought it just came out of the blue.

And also I knew the clothes wearing was from dysphoria, but never did I see Jay say no to wearing clothes with Ayunna during sex until the last time I let Jay penetrate me with a strap-on. I thought they would've at least kept their binder on and took off their shorts, but nope they didn't wanna do that either. Just all black shorts and a black shirt and had us ride their strap. It was weird....idk.

I was always feeling rejected so I guess I left at a good time from when I couldn't take it no more. Jay transitioning to a man and then wanting to have sex with other men or trans men/women would have hurt me had I still stayed to be in contact with them as friends after I said lets stop having sex with each other.

Everything happens for a reason. Just Thank God Im out of juice for them lmao XD (no more love for them).

Cause I never knew the real them, Jay only showed me parts of them that they wanted me to see. When you fall in love with a mask, the love isn't real. And Jay was never real with me, even when they kissed me.

What a phony. I'm glad I didn't stay to move in with them. Ayunna only offered that once I said let's stop having sex. It wasn't a real move in offer, it was another fake promise to keep me there. Ayunna did it again, "we were thinking about" and "if you planned on staying" in reference to all 3 of us being a throuple because I wanted commitment, not this petty sex pet shit. She was so annoying when I figured out it was just a gamble bluff to lead me on and keep bending my ass over for her to enjoy the view of my body.

Traitors and Penetrators. The only time I ever broke Jay's mask was when they called me while they were drunk (and their rule for me was to never call/text them high or drunk) and called me an asshole for showing Ayunna my tinder messages, even though she already said she had no feelings for me whatsoever, so how am I the asshole?? I said "Jay you're so delusional" cause it's not fair. Yall get mad at me for talking to other ppl, and then wanna say we don't want commitment with you, but then Ayunna still is tryna lead me on about it, like it's something to move forward to. Jay hung up on me, cause I smelled bullshit and Jay didn't like that. Even stopped texting for a few days cause they got so scared that I didn't submit and say sorry, even though they called me the asshole?

Then nobody texted me on my birthday in November but decided to come back all the way in January, when I left in October. Talking about "Did you send these long ass texts?" Not even a hello, just had to be rude all over again 3mths later. Yea, I blocked them right after that petty, little insta message. I sent them a goodbye text tryna be as nice as I could, but then they sent that and it pissed me off even more than I already was. I looked at that text like Anakin with the red lava glowing eyes, ready to kill. I saw Nothing but lava as I cried in fury, ready to just Laserbeam Jay's face off, cause how could you? And you think this shit wasn't hard for me? There's no point in going back.

Jaiden and Ayunna, don't get me at all. They'll never understand cause they weren't the ones being held accountable to follow all these damn rules, deal with inconsiderate assholes and attitude that I didn't deserve. I deserved so much better than what these two greasy pigs offered me. I've never been upset and so disappointed with the lack of care, the teasing, the disrespect for my mental health, my body, my heart, and my mind. When I said I have to leave because this relationship is making me depressed and I'm tired of dealing with jealousy on both sides. Jay said "You got problems 👋" like they didn't even care 😒 wtff

And Ayunna guilt tripped me, "Should have never trusted you and you always do this." Even though they're the ones who have left me 3-5 times and I wasn't supposed to say jack or argue when they came back.

The thing was, my ass wasn't coming back. I was gone for good 👍 And these were your last words to me? After everything we've been through? Yup, I'm out. Bye 👋

They really thought I didn't matter and that I was gonna change my mind again and come back. No. Yall really made me sick and they were trashy ass friends who never gave a fuck about my mental health. Even Jay's "alr" like I don't wanna know....when I was telling then how it made me feel suicidal the way they cut me off last time in March 2020 just because of that argument with Ayunna and they got mad that I said she's an ice queen and I didn't do what they said, tryna make me apologize and get back on good terms with her. Like no, fuck her. She disrespected me and now you expect me to kiss her ass, just so we can still be friends? She told you to block me anyway.

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survivor-themyscira-blog · 6 years

Text

Hello. It's raining outside today. And surprisingly, my game is going similarly. My last Idol Search ended with me stumbling over Raymonds corpse, resulting in me being forced to sit out the upcoming Reward challenge because I am SHOOK. Like a corpse would scare me... My hope is that my tribe has to sit out a player (since it's 6-5-5 atm) and that I can claim that spot. If I am forced to just not submit, then that's fair too. Minor blow. Nothing I can't recover from. (Famous Last Words) Besides that, RIP Ruthie. From what I've seen, you're awesome, but oh well... that's the game. Let the current Hippos jump at each others throats. I'll just be somebody you wanna be friends with. I feel very safe within Menalippe and I think I'd be comfortable in case we Swap. Cya! The Skies are crying over Ruthie... Don't cry, sky! You're next!

Wooo that tribal was Fucking lit. Obviously Jaiden proved he won't work with me. Seriously dude, sometimes you should just save big moves for merge. Way to single yourself out as someone I can't trust and that's what this vote was about. Finding who I can trust. Fun fact for all of you reading this post game, Madeline and I talk on the phone! I need her to work with me and she works with me!

Being close and working with Ian has become the best move I've made in the game so far.

So I had to have a couple of days away since I had an ill bubba but the tribe has been amazingly supportive, considering I expected to go asap - we haven't been to tribal yet so I still might -, its a nice friendly tribe and everyone tries their hardest so I just need to pull my socks up to match that!

DONT GIVE US FLASH GAME CHALLENGES WHEN JORDAN IS IN THIS GAME??? WHY?? EVERYONE HAS PLAYED WITH JORDAN PINES, NOT TO MENTION HE AND LILY ARE ON THE SAME TEAM AND THEY BOTH DOMINATE FLASH GAMES GRR

WHY DONT I READ THE MOTHER FUCKING DIRECTIONS?????? i fkdsjkflas fjkdsfkasdfk fjdsnkfasdkf god i truly hate myself i didn't read and then i submitted my first score for casanova and i- whew. i just didn't read. and we could only submit once. my hope is that other people on the other tribes also didn't read and submit shittier scores than me! lol but i got 70k which is good for me but for others? i don't know. i am shit at flash games okay i truly am. and which 1/2 of our tribe being inactive, i'm not expecting much out of this comp. the men lips are losing a lip tomorrow night. rip in peace to ... probably madison at this rate lmao. let's just hope she doesn't have any special powers!!! omg fjdkjfaslf but like she's been so inactive maybe she hasn't been searching the island? idk that's what i hope. and ruthie went home last night over rocks and i SCREAMED how can the rocks do that to RUTHIE!!! also i just talked to logan about this flash game and he says that he gets like two million on casanova and i just- WHAT H O W??????? i dont even know. i also just realized this is, in fact, a reward challenge, so i feel less shitty about my score. it's just reward but... logan thinks antiope is gonna win it and give us the disadvantage but like! that's ugly! anyways more like actual survivor related stuff going on, i think kai, logan, and i are going to make a group thing and roll with that. i feel a swap coming on soon but... who can never be sure? it could be at 15 and we're divided into three tribes or five or it could be at 14 and we're divided into two tribes of seven... i don't know which i'd prefer because i like having very few people on our tribe bc it's less people to talk to but also less options to vote out come tribal... ugly! also because half my tribe is inactive! this is >:-(

https://youtu.be/SIt2jOUDLug

https://youtu.be/9QhJFyjE6v0

https://youtu.be/XvkrD_DkVDA

It is currently 3:36AM EST and all the Europeans are up and so I’m talking to Amanda and Andreas. I think we’ve decided that Kai sit out this challenge, which I’m fine with. He hasn’t helped much the previous challenges lmao. Anyway, I’ve been thinking a lot about allies and who I want to get with. I have 0 alliances so far but there’s definitely an unspoken thing between Kai, Logan, and I (well, I know they’re very close so it’s probably not unspoken to them, but unspoken to me.). But I’m struggling because I’m starting to really like Madison and Amanda? The two people Logan and Kai want out? And this is definitely a predicament. So like... I love women. And my goal was to work with women. So you know... Madison and Amanda? But on the other hand, I love Logan and Kai. Logan really wants Amanda out for voting out Dan, who he was close with. And so I’m :-/. I like both sides and I’m just hoping that I don’t have to choose a side so soon. Or maybe I’ll luck out and convince people to vote out Andreas! Who can never be sure? I’m just stressed and not sure where I want my loyalties (I don’t actually have loyalty to anyone - so these are like alleged) to go. Logan and Kai or Amanda and Madison? Choices are to be made.

[11:18:20 AM] Jordan Pines: here drew make some confessionals for me [11:18:24 AM] Jordan Pines: tell them about my gameplay [11:18:39 AM] Jordan Pines: I’m aligned wiht lily and jack, sort of with rhone and nicholas and i have no idols [11:18:42 AM] Jordan Pines: do with that what you will [11:18:55 AM] Jordan Pines: make me sound smart

I MISS MADELINE WHY CANT WE BE ON THE SAME TRIBE AGAIN

I just royally flopped that challenge. SO BAD. Like okay... I had sixty seconds to think of things and one round I only got like five points! I'm literally such a piece of shit I feel like I'm going to HEAVILY let down my tribe!!!!!! If we lose because of me... at least I'm in a good spot socially but HOLY SHIT I'm so fkdjskla this is not good not good not good. I'm just hoping other people flopped this challenge too and that my last round (words that start with W) can save me. I got 26 points there... Probably could've gotten more but I'm a dumbs. I also couldn't think of any TV shows that have strong female leads! Like I'm not sure if there's like a shortage or if I just don't watch the shows. I got like 6 points and typed two wrong lmao. I even said the vampire diaries but a bitch has never seen vampire diaries so I was just guessing lmao. But I also spelled it wrong so ANYWAY! I feel so guilty I feel like I've helped a whole lot these past challenges and this one............. I flopped a whole whole whole lot :-/

Last game I played, I was the type of person to pour themselves a bowl of cereal and then realize that there wasn’t any milk in the refrigerator. This game, I’m checking the refrigerator before I pour my cereal. I’m not going to make dumb decisions then realize that my goals can’t be fulfilled. I need to think through everything. Also I love cereal

Apparently Survivor US is not a spin off show from Survivor that takes place only in the states so guessing Alabama didn't win me any points.

My name is Ian Eugene Layne, Commander of the Armies of the Devil's Lair, Generally well liked by the Aphi Sa Legions. loyal servant to the true Sole Survivor, Zachary Rae, ally to a murdered Icon, friend of the Robbed Queen And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

Once again we skate by in second place!!! I love being immune!!! I have yet to go to tribal and I love it! :-) But I’m also sending a swap after this... whew. Let’s just hope that whatever tribe I end up on is full of comp beasts and allies! Woohoo! LOL anyways I love winning and I hope that keeps happening.

ok so i haven't made a confessional in 1900 years but i am so happy! i love this tribe a lot and think that all 5 of us left have a lot left to contribute to the game so i think it is 100% in my best interest to hope that we keep winning these challenges! there are some strong players like jordan on my tribe who i want on my side for sure! rhone & jack are cool too and i think that if we go to a tribal the majority alliance of hippos og might not be enough to keep me safe so it is definitely a relief that i am able to be safe this round. but numbers wise i think we are about to get either a swap or a merge into 2 tribes coming up so lets just hope that i can merge/swap into the majority! i also feel like now i have gotten rid of the 'inactive/slacker' stigma i had from og hippo and now people will take me seriously but they will also recall how i didn't attempt the first challenge so i'm less threatening! whew lets hope for the best!!

HAHAHAHAHAH Hippo back to tribal! I hate it for them, those are some nice folks but.... ha!

I’m so sick of losing challenges!!! UGH!!! I don’t really know what we’re gonna do this vote. I have a feeling my name will come up at some point or another, but right now I’m putting a whole ton of trust into Billy to keep our plans secret. Right off the bat, I’m pissed off that we lost by such a close margin. But then I realize just how terribly people performed in certain aspects of the challenge, like the second category??? It was literally Survivor seasons and everyone besides me scored less than 10. How hard is it to think of ten seasons of Survivor. Apparently, very hard because nobody was capable of processing that kind of information. So anyways, I get over this initial anger by campaigning to Ian that he needs to get rid of Toph and keep me around, even though I betrayed his trust last vote by forcing an unnecessary rock draw. My plea is that I’m good in the challenges and I have no power on this tribe. He and Madeline have that power, so it’s their choice to either keep me around as an asset or take a gamble with Toph and Billy. Billy and I both know that Ian and Madeline are going to continue to control what this tribe does for the long run. But Billy wants Madeline to go home more than anything, and I agree. I recognize that taking out Toph only delays the inevitable a lot longer – Madeline and Ian will remain loyal to potential previous tribe alliances than they will with me or Billy. Someone needs to deal with them, and unfortunately it has to be me. Losing Ruthie last round is both a blessing and a curse. I think it’s a curse because I lose one solid person I could work with for a long time, but it’s a blessing because she far too honest and nice to make the kinds of moves I’m gonna have to make in this game. If Billy went home last round, we would certainly take out Toph and gain zero traction within this tribe. Since I have Billy still here, we can actually take a shot at Madeline and Ian and hopefully take back a little of the control here. I’m going to throw Toph under the bus hard and pray that Madeline and Ian take the bait. I also hope that fucking Billy doesn’t backstab me at the most inconvenient time… I think Billy has better options with people not named Jaiden Hantz, so ideally I keep him thinking that I’m his BEST ally. Also, I don’t need Madeline and Ian realizing that Billy and I are super close and have them decide to just split us up. If they take out Billy, I’m FUCKED because I’ll have exposed my loyalties and look even dumber than I have before. Idk man. I just wanna survive the vote.

Damn son, Antiope is going strong! Poor Hippos getting their wings clipped. :'( But who cares about those as long as Men's Lips are safe? Either way, with this Immunity, I've guaranteed my spot in the Final 15... and I expect that a Tribe Swap is just around the corner. We could be put in 3 Tribes of 5... that would make sense imo. At this point, only Emily, Kai and Myself haven't attended a single Tribal Council and those two are my closest allies on my tribe now. Madison is our only outsider on Menalippe, but I tried to stay a bit friendly with her, since Emily said that she's close with JP, who I don't want to have as an enemy.... yet. In case of a Swap, I'd like Emily on my tribe the most (but seeing how well she does in challenges, she should be safe on any tribe until merge). I would be happy enough with JP, Madison, Kai, Logan, Ian and Toph. I'd be happy to play with Billy as well but I think he's the one who's getting voted out tonight. Idk the others too well or at all. If I'm with Amanda, it depends on who's on the tribe to see if I wanna cooperate with her or not. The weather today is as eventless as this day in Themyscira.

Damn... i really thouhht i did quite well... and yet we were like 10 points away from tribal and 200 away from first place... like we need to step up our game

Y’all I keep thinking about that empty spot when I jumped off the cliff... what the FUCK what there!!! Who has it now!!! Will this prevent me from voting someone out that I really want to vote out!!! Will this fuck me over!!! I don’t know what’s going ON MAN IM SCREAMING

Also can Kai and Logan just add me into an alliance chat already like wtf we’ve been talking about it for like a week let’s just DO IT

I really hope this vote goes the way we want it to. I feel if this hadn't gone to the rocks last time and we had Ruthie still we wouldn't have even been to this second tribal in a row.

Ugh my god this game is so slow paced right now. Cant we just have a triple tribal and like... idk vote someone out and have DRAMA!! I am bored out of my mind right here right now... Ughhh

I can’t decide who I want to join uS. If what they are saying about Madeline is true then her

QUEEN MADELINE SURVIVING THAT 3-2 VOTE NUT I CANT WAIT UNTIL WE SWAP TRIBES AND I CAN TALK TO HER AGAIN UGHHHHHH I miss her I want to be her BFF but queenie for voting out another boy I can’t wait to get all the tea on her tribe UGH I MISS HER jebwjwbwjwnw

Things might be getting spicy folks https://youtu.be/5ZWKrQnaVxs

#whatidoisnotuptoyou #athena11 #episodes

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bebepac · 4 years

Text

The Pink Lady

I am participating in @wackydrabbles prompt# 42 “Let’s be honest with ourselves, we knew this was going to happen” will appear in bold

Liam, Riley, Hana, and Maxwell all belong to Pixelberry. All other characters are my own creation to support our story.

This is the 7th Chapter of Fast Forward To catch up on Liam and Riley’s future Life please click

Fast Forward

I wasn’t kidding when I said this story keeps taking turns on me, and it did yet another one. I really can’t control this one. There are some mentions of some things if you are not following the Life of Riley or some of my wacky drabbles or one shots. Mentioned in this fic: Riley’s horrible driving, The Pink Lady Guitar, and Riley’s Accident. To get more back ground on them check out Ride with Me (my very first fic i posted) and Ghost Girl from the life of Riley, and January 18th Links are :

Ride With Me

Ghost Girl

January 18th

Song inspiration for this chapter: When I Was your Man by Bruno Mars.

https://youtu.be/ekzHIouo8Q4

I don’t own rights to any of the music or lyrics displayed.

Summary: Von stays at the palace per Riley’s request. Riley spends the day at the private beach with friends with Von. Von attends his first courtly event, as Riley’s guest and gives her a very special gift from her past.

Warnings: Profanity, depression, sadness, domestic violence, Angry Liam.... becomes Evil Liam. This just went dark. Sorry guys not my intent.

Word count: 2733

Tagging: @queenjilian @dcbbw @burnsoslow @loveellamae @lovemychoices @bbrandy2002 @nomadics-stuff @kimmiedoo5 @cordonianroyalty @cordonia-gothqueen @lodberg @aestheticartwriting @glaimtruelovealways @custaroonie @texaskitten30 @janezillow @atha68 @my0123456789universe @kaitycole @indiacater @losingbraincellseveryday @yukinagato2012 @furiousherringoperatortoad @marietrinmimi @hopefulmoonobject @sevenfuckslefttogive @ac27dj @queen-arabella-of-cordonia @mrsdrakewalkerblog @islandcrow @xpandabeardontcarex @axwalker @sanchita012 @queenwalton @flutistbyday2020 @gabesmommie1130 @mom2000aggie @queenaaliyah @jared2612

"Maybe you can fool her with that you are on vacation bullshit. Cut the crap. I saw your little interview. What do you really think you can accomplish by coming here now Donovan?"

"I think the real question is, why are you so insecure with your relationship, that you are coming at me like this bro?"

"Because I feel something from you; the only reason you have come here is to try to take My Queen back with you. You do realize we have a family together right? Riley loves me and our children, and I love my wife."

"Then why is she not your equal? The way you overrule her and talk over her. I have seen you do it millions of times in press conferences. You even did it to her today. I asked Riley was she pregnant. I didn't ask you. You answered for her, like she was incapable of answering for herself. No wonder I've been hearing from her so much lately. I feel like all you want is a pretty faced, pretty shaped Queen to give you heirs. Riley is more than that. She is not a trophy. You treat her like she's property. Probably the only reason you want another baby is to show someone that she's yours."

"SHE IS MINE! You are sadly mistaken if you think you are gonna swoop in and …."

"Look who's up?" Riley walked back into the room holding Jaiden bouncing him on her hip. He rubbed his eyes. Liam gave him a kiss on the forehead. "My baby boy." Ellie and Adam followed behind her, looking inquisitively at the stranger standing before them.

Von gave them a tiny wave. Adam waved. Ellie looked right at her father. Von could have sworn he saw Liam slightly shake his head "No." Ellie did not wave back.

"Von, I'd like you to meet our children. Ellie, and Adam say hello."

Both children holding close to Riley's hips peer around her but only Adam said hello.

"Ellie where are your manners? Say hello to Mommy's friend."

Ellie said nothing but ran across the room to Liam.

He picked her up holding her in his arms.

"I'm sorry Von, she's usually not shy. I don't know what's gotten into her."

"No it's okay." He looked at Ellie. Of course he was training her to be just like him. She was the crown princess. They both had the same look in their eyes, staring at Von, anger.

"And this is Jaiden."

Von remembered everything Riley had ever told him about Jaiden. When Riley's memories came back she had told him about what happened with him that day during the accident.

"He would be so happy you named one of your sons after him."

"I think so too." Von softly touched Jaiden's cheek and he giggled. He grabbed Von's fingers holding them.

These two were definitely Riley's children, that Riley had the primary influence over them. Not Crown Princess A-hole that was looking down at him sneering just like her father.

"Von do you have a place to stay? We have plenty of room you could stay with us. We could get…"

Liam cut her off yet again. "I'm sure Donovan has made his own arrangements Riley, we shouldn't interfere. He said he is in fact on vacation, he probably has a plan."

Riley laughed out loud.

"Actually Liam not really. Riley, you know me so well. One of the things that is my fatal flaw that Riley loathed was my lack of planning. However, bucket list item #13 stay in a palace, so there you go!"

"We can get someone to bring in your stuff. I assume you rented a vehicle?"

"I did, my stuff is in the car.

"We can do something fun but low-key tomorrow because I'll have the kids. You don't mind that do you Von?"

"No not at all, it will be nice to get to know your kids."

"We will have a great time, I could even drive."

"NO!" Both Liam and Von screamed in unison.

"So she's never been able to drive, these are not recent events from just not driving much?"

"LIAM!!!!"

"And I was there when she took driver's ed….three times."

Liam laughed, shaking his head at Riley. "You're lucky, you're beautiful and charming."

"VON!!!! You gonna tell my business out on the street like that?"

"Mommy says snitches get stitches," Adam chimed in loudly.

"That's right, baby and Mommy's always right."

Von laughed out loud, "The New Yorker is strong in this one."

Von knew right then, if Riley ever left Liam, and he got another chance with Riley, he wouldn't have a problem loving adorable Jaiden and Adam as if they were his own kids. Liam would never let Riley take Ellie. She was too important to him. She was him.

Servants helped bring his items in but one box he wouldn't let out of his sight. He held it carefully. "It's a surprise," he said.

"Tomorrow we are having a small get together here in the ballroom. Please say you will attend as my guest."

He nodded to Riley.

The next morning after breakfast Riley security team took them to the beach. He noticed right away the way Riley's guard Nico was staring at her in her bathing suit. That's why Liam wanted another child. He's staking his claim on Riley. Liam was so transparent, at least in Von's eyes.

But how did Riley truly feel? he wondered.

“Oh my God, I’m so glad you recommended this. I’ve never been so relaxed in my life. Who knew the thing I was missing from my life was a private beach.”

Riley laughed. “I feel the same way when I come here. I think about all the times we went to the Island to go to the beach. Do you remember?!? Shoulder to shoulder with people.”

Inviting her friends also built in babysitters so that he could talk to Riley. He had already noticed some things he was worried about.

He decided to just jump into it.

“Riley, is something bothering you?”

“I’m just fine.” She said smiling. A smile he saw didn’t reach Riley’s eyes. He saw sadness. He’d seen that type of sadness in her eyes before. Riley. Was. Not. Fine.

He watched Riley when she didn’t think she was being watched. She took a sip of her water and put it down. He noticed her hands were shaking.

Riley looked deep in thought.

**** 10 months ago *** “We’ve tried multiple times to turn the baby, but it’s just not working. The baby is still breech. Being so close to your due date Your Majesty. I think a C-section would be best.

“Both Ellie and Adam I had naturally. “Will there be scars?”

“We’ll do our best to make them as minimal as possible.”

“And there’s no chance the baby will turn so Riley can deliver naturally?”

“There’s always a chance King Liam, but it looks highly unlikely at this point. A C-section is the safest option for both mom and baby.”

Liam gently rubbed Riley’s large rounded stomach. “Yes, we want them both to be safe. Is there anything else Dr. Ramirez?”

“That’s all I can think of, we’ll have you back next week, as we’re going to start weekly visits from here on out.”

“I just had one more thing, Go ahead Liam I’ll be out in one second.”

He walked out the door. Riley waited until he closed it behind him.

She chuckled at Riley, “You would think it’s your first baby how nervous you look.”

“Well,” Riley tried to make her voice sound as nonchalant as possible,” Since we’re doing a c-section would it be possible to perform a tubal ligation while i’m open already?”

“Queen Riley, you have plenty of child bearing years left, if we do the procedure and you change your mind, we might not be able to reverse it.”

“I won’t be changing my mind, I want the procedure.”

“King Liam hasn’t mentioned anything of the sort.”

“It’s not King Liam’s body, It’s mine.”

Dr. Ramirez gave her a knowing look. “Is it though? I don’t feel comfortable performing such a procedure on the Queen of Cordonia without the King’s consent or knowledge. Is there anything else?”

“No, That about covers it,” Riley commented with a stiff smile, walking out the door.

He watched Riley looking down at herself. Her hand still shaking touched her stomach for a moment.

There were sad tears in Riley’s eyes. He remembered yesterday when he asked Riley was she pregnant and the mortified look that crossed her face for a second, that Liam didn’t even notice.

Realization hit Von like a ton of bricks.

“Riley. Two things.. First…. Why haven’t you told Liam you’re pregnant, and Second, why aren’t you happy about it?

"It wasn't always like this. I really think somewhere he loves me. He is a good father Von, but not so great a husband. Sometimes he's sweet, but Sometimes I feel like he forgets we're supposed to be ruling together and makes decisions for all of us like I don't matter. Ellie matters more to him than I do. He wanted more children, so I've given him more children. I've done and given him everything he asks of me, and at the end of the day, he doesn't take me seriously. I'm not enough. He's the ruling monarch with royal blood. No matter how much I give him it's never enough Von."

"You're enough for the right person Riley. You're enough for me."

Von took her hand in his. She quickly pulled away.

"Please stop. I can't take any more complications than I have right now."

On the way back they stopped with Maxwell to get Von a nice suit. Von saw immediately that Riley was his best friend by the way they talked. He liked Maxwell right away too. He reminded him a little of Daniel.

He sat at the dinner with Maxwell and Hana, they both were her best friends . They talked and laughed with him like they were old friends. He noticed Riley watching them from her dais as she sat next to Liam in their matching thrones.

She made her way over to him "Are you guys having fun?"

"Lots of fun Little Blossom, can we keep him?"

Von chuckled, "Maxwell you're hilarious. And how many stories does this guy have about peacocks?"

Riley let out a deep belly laugh, "He has millions. I've yet to hear the same peacock story twice."

"So Liam wanted me to ask you something, would you be willing to do a song for us, to open up the social part of the evening? I know you're on vacation."

Was this dude really this stupid? He was about to light a fire in this place, and in Riley.

"I'll do it for you, but I need to get something first."

He came back shortly with the same box he had been so protective over. He whispered something to Hana and she nodded. Riley introduced him when he was ready.

He stood up. "Thank you for that lovely welcome Queen Riley. We grew up together in New York. And she doesn't know that I spent the last 3 years looking for this, and just found it two weeks ago. This was part of the reason I'm here is to return it to its rightful owner. He opened the box revealing Riley's pink lady guitar. He walked closer so she could see it.

She jumped up out of her throne, gasping. Liam grabbed her arm. She slowly sat back down into her throne.

"I know what you're thinking. When I went to my fans to help me find it, I left one detail about The Pink Lady off the information. After a few false alarms, Someone messaged me about this one. I just asked them one simple question, was there anything unique about it? They told me yes, on the back there initials engraved in the wood RB and DJ."

Liam looked at the tears in her eyes in confusion.

"My Dad bought me that guitar. You know I lost almost everything I owned after the accident. I could never find it, I looked for it, every chance I got."

When he handed it over to her she quickly checked the back. She remembered her and Von engraving their initials after she played her first song she had ever written for him. She closed her eyes, also remembering walking around the store with her Dad, finding it for the first time. She opened her eyes again looking at Von.

He smiled. "You'll never guess where it was. In California. Thirty minutes from where I live."

"Hana if you would."

Hana sat at the piano playing for him. When he started the second verse, of the song, Von's eyes met Riley's, and they never left hers.

My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, oh And it haunts me every time I close my eyes

It all just sounds like ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh Mm, too young, too dumb to realize That I should have bought you flowers And held your hand Should have gave you all my hours When I had the chance Take you to every party 'cause all you wanted to do was dance

Now my baby's dancing But she's dancing with another man

Although it hurts I'll be the first to say that I was wrong Oh, I know I'm probably much too late To try and apologize for my mistakes But I just want you to know

I hope he buys you flowers I hope he holds your hand Give you all his hours When he has the chance Take you to every party 'Cause I remember how much you loved to dance Do all the things I should have done When I was your man Do all the things I should have done When I was your man

The crowd roared in applause.

"Riley, play something for your people."

"That won't be necessary," Liam interjected.

Riley ignored him and had gotten up putting the strap over her shoulder.

"I'm a little rusty, so hopefully it will sound okay. This has always been my favorite song since the first time I heard it."

When Riley played the first few chords, Von knew what she was playing. She was playing their song. Playing it for him.

Liam recognized it right away too. She could feel Liam's anger radiating off him.

When the song was over everyone was cheering for Riley. Liam excused them. Von saw how he gripped Riley's arm as they walked out the ballroom, and he didn't like it. He followed them. As he got closer to the door. He heard Liam's voice full of anger. "HOW DARE YOU EMBARRASS ME LIKE THAT!"

Then he heard an unmistakable sound. He slapped Riley.

Von pushed the door open seeing Riley in tears holding her face.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING MAN?!? DID YOU JUST HIT HER?!?!?"

"Von please go," Riley pleaded. "You'll just make it worse."

"Riley you don't have to take this from him. Is this how you treat the mother of your children?!?!?"

"I will treat her however I please."

He yanked the guitar from Riley grip, holding it in the air.

"Please don't Liam. Please, I'm sorry Liam. PLEASE DON'T!!!!"

Liam ignored her. He slammed it hard to the ground, shattering it.

Riley fell to her knees bursting into tears. "This wasn't about him Liam, My father gave me this, and YOU RUINED IT!!!!!!! WHY?????"

"Maybe now you will think twice about sharing looks of lust for another man so blatantly in front of your King and His People."

He stood towering over them. Von's grip tightened around Riley as to protect her.

"Let's be honest with ourselves, we knew this was going to happen."

He stared down at Riley on the floor crying, shaking. Von held her in his arms, her back against his chest. Von was staring at Liam in pure disgust.

"I'm sure you know you're not welcome in the royal chambers tonight, unless you're ready to do whatever your King desires you to do for you to be forgiven. Otherwise, find alternate sleeping arrangements."

Liam walked out the room, the door slamming behind him.

“

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