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belliesandburps · 9 days

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Would you be willing to do dialogue for Epel?

(Surprisingly, I got quite a few Epel requests, so I'm gonna blend them all into this one like Ruggie and Jack.)

Burping in public (Around dormmates)

(blushes and covers mouth) "Ah...! E-Excuse me...!!"

(goes wide-eyed and clamps mouth shut) "......S-S-Sorry, dorm leader..."

(smiles nervously) "...T-That was because of a potion, I swear..."

(covers his mouth) "Oh, g-goodness! Pardon me, that was...(feels another burp coming, but swallows it down and grimaces)...mph...(palms his chest)...p-pardon me..."

(pushes a fist to his mouth) "Mph, sorry...my stomach has been bothering me all day..."

(looks around nervously) "...You won't tell Vil about that, right...?"

Burping in public (Around friends)

"Whew! (pats his stomach) That was a GOOD one!"

"Oof! Sweet tarnation! They ain't gettin' any quieter, haha!"

"Damn, that felt good!"

(grins) "Let's see ya top THAT!"

Woooo boy... (rubs his stomach) Ah may'uh wolfed down mah lunch a lil too dang fast, heh..."

"Pfft, that was weak, hol' up... (gulps down more and more air until he can't take anymore, then lets out a MUCH louder and longer belch that ends with him sighing) Haaaaaahhhhh...whew...THAT'S more like it..."

Burping for the first time around friends

(grins) "What? Didn't think I could let a monster like that rip?"

"Hehe, I know, 'so dainty and proper, probably doesn't even KNOW how to burp,' right?"

(smirks and daintily covers his mouth) "Hehe, ex-CUSE me...where'd my manners go all'uh the sudden?"

(sighs boorishly and pats his belly shamelessly) "Haaaahhhh...WHEW! Heh, sorry 'bout-uUrp-that, mph...shouldn't'uh had lunch before studyin' with Vil. Ah been stuck 'round him fer hours so I had t'hold that one in all dang day..."

(smirks cockily) "Pfft, that was nothin'. Check THIS out...(takes in several gulps of air, puts his hand on his stomach as it fills up with the excess air, then pushes down firmly and lets rip a HUGE burp, before sighing with relief and patting his belly)"

(grins and folds his arms behind his head carefree) "Heh, pretty loud, ain't they? Back home, I could out-burp anybody foolhardy 'nuff t'try and take me on...(grins more impishly)...still can..."

Burping after chugging a soda

"Oof...oh man, think ah done guzzled that one a lil fast...OOOOUUUUURRRRRP!!!! Guhhh..."

"Gaaaahhh...haha! Did y'all HEAR that?! Hot DAMN!"

(blushes and smile sheepishly) "H-Heh, s'cuse me...guess ah was kinda thirsty..."

"Woo dang...! (rubs his stomach firmly) So bubbly...bruUuUuUuph...BWWWOOOOURRRAAAAAAAPH!!!!! Phew...! (pats his belly)"

"Haahhh...(palms his chest) That's the stuff right there..."

(grins cheekily) "Hehe, imagine if VIL heard that one...(smile dips)...actually, let's not..."

Burping after stuffing himself

"Gruuuoooohhhh man...(rubs his bulging belly up and down)...feels like ah'm gonna BURST..."

"Haaahhh...(pats his rounded gut contently)...ain't had pies that good in ages..."

"Whew...that was a biggun, ain't it...(gropes his overstuffed middle and gives it a light jostle)...an' right now, so am I, heh..."

(huffs and hits his chest to knock loose another fierce burp) "Gaahhhh...sorry, when I'm THIS dang bloated, all that there gas gets kinda stuck..."

(sighs contently and holds his belly with both hands) "Haaaahhhhhh...felt my gut shake like crazy with that one..."

(gives a hiccup and a dainty afterburp before flopping onto his back; his large belly jutting up over him) "...Urgh...s-so...dang...ffFUUUUUUUULL...!!!"

Burping to kink-tease

"Ah, heh, s'cuse me...ain't very gentlemanly, huh?"

(smirks) "Hehe, ya like that? Don'tchu worry...(rubs his stomach teasingly)...loooooots more where that came from..."

"Pfft, that gets yer goat goin', does it? Well, good thing fer you that I'm a burpin' machine, hehe."

"You want bigger? (grins cockily) Ya came t'the right guy...(swallows more and more air, holding his stomach as it fills up with the excess oxygen, and then grips it tightly as a MASSIVE belch blasts past his maw and leaves him moaning)...hhhhhaaaaaaaahhhh...toldja I'm the champ."

"Hehe, sorry, did that rile ya up a lil too much? (quickly gulps down a sharp but single gulp of air and immediately burps it back up) There, that was smaller, so it oughta be easier fer ya, right?"

"Ahhhh, hehe...y'know, I dunno what I love more. Burpin' or watchin' you get all hot'n bothered every time I do..."

Nauseous burps

(quickly covers mouth) "Urrf...oOohh, that one hurt..."

(holds his churning stomach) "...Guhh...sorry, dorm leadeEUurp!! (quickly covers mouth) Oh no..."

(clamps mouth shut and burps heavily behind his fist) "Mph...ohhhh man...(rubs his belly slowly)...my gut's burblin' like grandma's gumbo..."

(rubs his stomach up and down) "Urgh...there's so much gas in my gut...(swallows down air)...BRRRAAAAAAAPH!!! Guh...BLLUUUUUOOORRRRUUUP!!!! Ugh...just keeps comin'..."

(slumps forward and clutches his knees) "...Uuuuugh...hoooo man...ah feel another burp just brewin' but...definitely feel somethin' else brewin' too..."

(goes green and covers his mouth) "...Mph...somethin' definitely came up with that one...hrrrMMMmph! BBBRRRRRMMMPH!!! (hugs his stomach and goes wide-eyed as he rushes to the bathroom)"

#ask belliesandburps #epel felmier #burping #burp kink #gassy #belly kink #post stuffing #overstuffed #kink scenario #burp dialogue #epel is definitely the secret burping fiend of nrc #the more i get to know him the more ravenous and rowdy i realize he is #the more certain i am that he can burp loud enough to make glass quiver #prove me wrong you cowards #i'm actually getting a lot more into the entire pomfiore crowd than i expected #rook being canonically a big eater with a predatory tilt #vil being secretly ripped and probably eating a lot during his training regimen #the tw well shall never run dry

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sidetongue · 7 months

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this greyhound was cute but it also followed us 500m down the beach, in the opposite direction of it's parents, without them giving a heck

#is it rude to post photos of stranger's dogs without their permission?#probably #is it rude to let your potentially predatory dog roam the beach with zero supervision?#absolutely #i was half worried budgie's zooms would trigger a goose chase #and the owners were nowhere near close enough to see what was happening #let alone intervene #how stupid and oblivious can you be

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whimsicalwavess · 3 months

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I've been totally side tracked from the oliver x felix fic I'm writing becaaaause of all the oliver x (pretty much every) Catton inspo posts. Like imagine Lord James died when Venetia and Felix where like 10-12. And most of the boyfriends that Elspeth has after that are all like boring hedge fund manager or bank wanker types in their fifties, it rarely lasts and they don't even make it through a week during the summer at Saltburn. So Felix and Venetia never bother making much of an effort.

Then during the summer after Felix's first year of Oxford Elspeth has mid thirties boytoy Oliver staying for the summer. And Felix is appalled at the idea of mother having a boyfriend that's closer to his own age (Venetia: "he's fucking not Felix Jesus he's fifteen years older than you" Felix: "shut up Vee it's still fucking weird" Venetia: "obsessed much"). And Oliver runs around topless in the burning heat while he does laps round the estate and is alway lying around sunbathing and Felix is just salivating while totally ignoring the poor boy he's brought home that summer.

And Oliver reaches out an olive branch to Felix because he's really keen that they be friends ("like you're a grown man Felix I'm not going to try and be your daddy or anything") and Felix is like "cool but also I kind of want you to be my daddy."

Then Venetia and Farleigh hook up with Oliver because they can't help but be drawn to his charm but a la the movie it doesn't go well and it's all a strategy to get to Felix.

And when Oliver finally gets Felix, fucking him through the grief of losing his mother he's so ecstatic, "i fucked where you came from, now i get to fuck you."

I mean I sort of feel this is how older Oliver would have played his original plan from the movie.

#saltburn #fic ideas #cattonquick #felix x oliver #yes I may have wrote 4000 words of just dialogue for this #but honestly I have enough to get on with #and low key it is pretty dark and quite predatory on Oliver's part idk #I've not gone full daddy kink either I just like the psychosexual suggestion of daddy kink / issues #if anyone else feels inspired to do their own take please do #you'll probably get something finished sooner than me lol

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merakiui · 1 year

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some thoughts about jade leech as a stalker.

(cw: yandere, nsfw, stalking, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, obsession, mentions of death/strangulation)

Jade does not love often. In fact, he has a rather small supply of love, which is reserved for his hobbies and family, so when he loves something other than those two things it can only mean trouble. When Floyd has something special and doesn’t share... Well, naturally Jade’s going to want it. He’s never been inherently greedy. Rather, he’s always let Floyd have everything: the larger half of a bluefin tuna, the shinier stone, the bigger seashells, the slice of cake with more frosting, his uniforms whenever Floyd’s were dirtied or damaged. And in return Floyd has, for the most part, shared his things with Jade. This has always been their normal.

But this time Floyd makes no mention of sharing when it comes to you. In the past, when they were particularly interested in someone, they would share them. Or, in other words, torment that person in equal succession. Azul has been their prime target for years now, and it doesn’t look like either of them will stop their relentless pursuit in seeing how fast they can get Azul to grouse or groan or sigh. You might think they live to see Azul’s misery, but truthfully they want to accompany Azul as he carves misery into the hearts of the poor, unfortunate souls who thought it wise to do business with deep-sea beasts. Teasing him is just a bonus.

When it comes to you, Floyd is his usual authentic self: blunt and honest to a fault, dangerously so. But that’s what makes his twin so fun. Floyd won’t sugarcoat the obvious. If he dislikes you, he’ll make it known. Jade, on the other hand, will speak syrupy sweet lies in an effort to maintain proper goodwill, even if he detests you. You’ve never really interested Jade, so he can’t say he hates you. But he can’t say he loves you either. To him, you are just a powerless human in a habitat that does not suit you. Really, even with all of the tricks and traps you pulled to beat Azul at his own game, you remained boring to him. He didn’t pay you much mind after everything had been resolved and you’d been free to return to Ramshackle. That should have been the end of his story with you.

But then, some time later, you start to make frequent appearances at the lounge. It doesn’t take Jade long to learn that you only show up when Floyd’s on shift, and it also doesn’t take him long to theorize that you might have fallen for his brother’s unique charms. It’s sweet, in a way, how Floyd lights up when he sees you, how you smile a little more brightly when he speaks to you, how your laughter is so very buoyant when Floyd lifts you into the air and spins you happily. Jade’s content to watch from the sidelines, pleased to know that his brother has found a friend in you. That might make it easier to trick you into a contract.

He’s so set in this way of thinking, only viewing you as a pawn or a stepping stone towards some bigger end goal. But when Floyd brings you back to the dorm and you become more than a constant in Jade’s life, he starts to wonder what makes you so special. What is it about you that has his brother so enamored? What makes you irresistible? What parts of you are appealing? Jade thinks it might be how quick it is you submit when Floyd’s got you pinned into the mattress, face first, rough hands spreading your thighs apart, so he can sink into you more easily. Floyd likes that; he likes the weak things that crumble under him. He likes to push things to breaking. He likes to mark and bite and bloody and bruise and shred.

Jade likes to fix. He likes to mend, and then break, and then mend all over again. He likes the process, the psychological science behind a simple gesture, much like how he takes great pleasure in playing god over the plants in his terrariums. They say a budding serial killer starts small—with animals like rabbits or squirrels or cats. Jade starts with plants. He’ll put them in stressful environments—in soils with nutrients that don’t quite work—and he’ll watch them wilt, mottle, mold, and decay. He’ll watch them struggle to adapt, he’ll watch them yearn for water or sunlight, and only when he’s certain they’ve had enough he’ll give them proper, healthy care. It’s fun, the way he has so much control over something as dynamic as a plant. But plants cannot protest, cannot fight back, cannot act in the same way humans do.

But it’s quite satisfying to pluck dried petals from a withered flower, almost like a morbid game of effeuiller la marguerite, and not hear a single scream.

So Jade is fully expecting Floyd to tire of you, to break you enough until boredom sinks its fangs into him and he moves on with his life. And what Floyd breaks Jade fixes, so he’s very ready to glue your heart together when Floyd shatters it. He’s ready to offer a handkerchief and his ear should you need to vent. He’s already prepared his speech: “I must apologize on behalf of Floyd. You know very well how he gets. If I can be of assistance in any way, please let me know.”

Unfortunately, you remain intact. Months pass, Floyd continues to love you, and your relationship unfolds like a lotus in early morning. Jade continues to observe. Floyd has never been one for privacy, so he’s seen every kiss, every bite, every inch of exposed skin. Hell, he’s sat at his desk and tallied Mostro Lounge’s monthly expenses while Floyd fucked you dumb on the other side of the room. He’s even made eye contact with you when you happened to gaze his way while his twin was buried balls-deep in that tight hole of yours. He wonders what goes on in that head of yours. Perhaps there’s nothing substantial within. Floyd’s scrambled your brains enough, so you could just be useless now. Though that wouldn’t be very fun, would it? He knows there’s more to you than you let on, especially when you play top and take every inch of Floyd, riding him so skillfully, and all Floyd can do is dig his fingers into your hips to guide you along to the rough, erratic pace the both of you have set.

Jade watches fondly from the shadows. Floyd likes to have access to your neck and shoulders; he likes to take you from behind while leaning down to bite into soft flesh. But Jade thinks it would be much nicer to gaze upon your face, to kiss salt from your eyes, to pepper your jawline with tiny pecks, all while peering into eyes that house a beautiful soul. He thinks it would be nice to hold you down, have your legs wrapped around his waist or thrown up onto his shoulders, while he bottoms out. If it were Jade, he’d take you in every position, but he’d find the most pleasure in eye contact. There’s something intimate about it, much like how there’s intimacy in the hands that wrap around a throat. You have to be close to someone when you’re restricting their airflow; you have to squeeze until veins pop, until your hands are sore, until your fingernails have burrowed so deeply into skin that the crescent moons color crimson. It takes minutes to strangle someone, and every minute is spent staring into the wide, terrified eyes of a desperate soul on the verge of death.

Jade likes the way you smell, the way you speak, the way you laugh, the way you are, in every meaning of the word, so very filled with life. Even down to the way you breathe and gasp and moan and cry, you are life itself. Jade wants to bottle that for himself—pluck you from Floyd’s flower pot and place you in a terrarium with the most potent elements just to see how long you’d fare. He wants to save you from those same conditions, sandwich your face between gloved hands when he’s kneeled to your lowered height, and whisper about how it’s okay, about how you’re safe, about how he’d never truly hurt you. Jade knows that loving someone is a very special thing, but the way he loves you is not quite pleasant. The love he has for his hobbies and family is natural. Normal. Simplistic and familial.

The love he has for you is murderous and frightening. Some days he looks at you like you’re prey he’s not yet devoured. Like you’re to be his first victim.

Jade starts small. He takes tiny trinkets—a keychain, a pencil, an accessory. He stores these in a shoe box under his bed. When Floyd brings you over and clothes are cast aside, he swipes your undergarments for himself. He won’t wash them until he absolutely must. He’ll have the soft fabric wrapped around his dick later that same evening when Floyd’s fallen asleep and he’s up late contemplating love and lust and life and death, and he’ll cum to the thought of you. Sweet, adorable, oblivious you.

He’s what one would call a persistence predator—a hunter who gradually wears his prey down over time. He takes from you, watches you, listens to you fret about missing things to Floyd, who promises to find the bastard who’s messing with you and squeeze them until they’re blue and purple. Jade smiles at that. Floyd wouldn’t really do that to him. Sure, they’ve hit each other when they’ve fought and roughhoused on occasion, but the punches were never truly meant. Sure, they might have been thrown playfully or angrily, but they were all temporary bouts of strength. Floyd wouldn’t truly hurt him, so to hear these determined promises and to see how you relax around him... It’s really cute. Jade wonders how much more he can take from you.

And he wonders how much more you can take before you’re splintering.

Really, you got lucky that Floyd picked you first. He’s far more merciful. Far more sweeter. Far more loving. At least Floyd is honest with his (at times) rough nature. At least he makes it known that he wants to bite you until you’re bleeding. But Floyd can’t stand whining. He hates it when people cry about things he can’t bother to care about, and lately you’ve been whining about this stalker you think you have for weeks now. Floyd’s told you you’re just being a scared shrimpy—that there is no stalker, that you’re probably just misplacing or losing these items, that none of them really matter because they’re replaceable.

Jade gets lucky when Floyd finally washes his hands of you, officially fed up with your whining. And what Floyd damages Jade fixes. So when you’re in tears, distraught over the break-up and your missing items and your stalker and the fact that the door to Ramshackle was left unlocked again and that you feel like someone’s living in your shadow, Jade arrives to rescue you from your fear. You don’t even hesitate to cling to him and cry, spilling your worries in waterfalls. Perhaps it’s because he’s a familiar face. He is a reflection of Floyd, after all.

“Oh dear,” he’ll whisper, stroking your back, allowing you to bury your face in his chest and sob. “There, there.”

You can’t see his expression, but there is a smile spreading on his lips. And his eyes are alight with cruel glee.

“Would it make you feel better if someone accompanied you to your classes?” Your feeble nod is all he needs. “In that case, shall I spend a few days at Ramshackle with you? I’m certain whoever’s pursuing you won’t get very far if I’m around.”

And he’s right. Your stalker never takes anything again. They never leave the front door unlocked. They never trail behind you, taking shelter in your shadow. That’s because he’s your stalker, though you never managed to figure that out, and this time he doesn’t have to dwell in shadows or on the sidelines. This time he can stand before you as a friend, a soon-to-be lover, and perhaps a lifelong mate.

Jade does not love often, but when he does it is as beautifully painful as tearing the wings from butterflies.

#meraki mumbles #yandere twst #n/sfw #i think my favorite thing about writing yandere jade is how brutal and remorseless he can be #it's probably because he grew up in the harsh environment of the sea #which would naturally harden anyone and make them more predatory than a prey #it's probably also why he (and floyd and azul) see nothing wrong with murder #yes it's morally wrong and very much illegal #but in the ocean it's eat or be eaten and really do you think jade is going to let some other predator snap his darling up? :)#challenge: write one yan jade thought without it spiraling into a thought about his murderous rizz #challenge failed </3 he is a walking danger you cannot tell me he wouldn't think of the most horrifying things when it comes to darling #more jade thoughts!!! consider an artist (painter/sculpter/etc) jade who is absolutely obsessed with you (the nude model from his art class)#because you're the one who has finally inspired him and broken his months-long artist's block #and also because he'd like to paint you in the most vicious red #or jade who has broken into your home and is living there in secret without you knowing #sometimes he sleeps under your bed just to hear your steady breaths #he never rearranges anything in your house but he does do the dishes or clean up messes you've made #you can never remember if or when you cleaned these things but you never think much of it #jade stands at your bedside when you sleep at night and he watches you #you'll happen to wake and you'll spot him but by the time you've scrambled to wake up and turn the lights on he'll already be gone #so you're left to wonder if he was ever there in the first place or if you were still dreaming #he is the terror that you will never see until it's too late

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s4pphoiduser · 6 months

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in a world with an aftg show (because it Has to be a show, not a movie) seth would have a Pretty Guy actor playing him who looked even prettier when he was sneering or scowling and people would make edits of him with the velocity + slo-mo effects and be like "i can fix him"

#and kevin would be it boy of the century and matt would be THE 2000s icon along with allison #neil's the one who looks scrappy and jumpy (which he is) but everyone's gonna be in love with his sharp tongue and hater behavior #everyone would either hate andrew or love him and obv i fall into the second category i'd be no. 1 andrew minyard apologist/defender/lover/#everyone (including myself) would love nicky if this adaptation of him didnt come with all those predatory jokes godbless #everyone else is an icon. yes even aaron who's way too detached from the foxes but he partially slays just being a fox and king of idgafdom #the girls are icons obviously duhhh #but i think with riko the actor would be soooo good and pretty like scary pretty that people make edits and the captions are like DISCLAIME #wymack would have sooo many edits with the sound of whatever's trending that's equivalent to the usher DADDY'S HOME one #i actually have so many thoughts ab an aftg show despite how much i dont want it like i cant help it! aftg slays too much!#these bitches r all too damaged! i love them all too much! i think ab them all the time!#lots of people hate but aftg and the foxes r genuinely some of the most well written relationships to me probably bc i can personally relat #and i think a show would allow for other scenes that we dont see in the book bc theyre all from neil's pov and we don't really find anythin #know anything ab the other foxes beyond what neil knows himself #and LEST I FORGET. JEAN MOREAU. ICON OF THE CENTURY METHINKS...!#neil josten #andrew minyard #kevin day #dan wilds #allison reynolds #renne walker #matt boyd #aaron minyard #nicky hemmick #seth gordan #s4pphoiduser #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #the raven king #the king's men

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jodielandons · 6 months

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the miller's girl screenplay reads just like this lolita-esque harry styles wattpad fanfic i stumbled across in high school... yet somehow it was considered one of the best unproduced screenplays of 2016 and is now a major motion picture starring the most popular young actress of the past few years....

y'all write your stories no matter what you think of the concept! obviously anything is possible lmao

#miller's girl #writeblr #screenplay #i have sooo much i want to say about that screenplay #lets start with the dialogue is absolutely terrible #and i hate that they cast a black man to play the predatory coach so much #i'll probably go more in depth when the movie comes out

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savepointart · 8 months

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Daily Sketch: Eyeshine and Darkvision

Saw someone mention a HC that darkvision-gifted characters have eyeshine like certain types of animals so I had to try a quick paint to test it out

I think it looks kinda neat!

#baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #shiny eye lenses #the monster manual says turned vampires look more predatory so I guess this would help sell that point #though probably hard to hide #at least you don’t have to worry about it for pictures #daily sketch

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thedreadvampy · 9 months

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like clockwork someone who's been openly a sex pest for decades gets named as a rapist and sexual predator and we all get to play the hit parade with such classics as:

oh my god oh my god did you know this industry full of rich people who are rewarded for exploitative and abusive behaviour...has an issue with rape and abuse??? CAN YOU BELIEVE THERE'S ABUSE IN THIS INDUSTRY???? (yeah man we know. we've known for quite a while actually. for longer than I've been alive for sure.)

oh my god I can't believe there are rapists among us (1 in 3 women have experienced rape, who do you think is doing it?)

but he seemed so nice! (not really tbh)

well I met him and he never raped me and like, I'm really hot so if he was really a rapist he would have (Jesus fuck get help)

is it really rape to fuck 16 year old girls when you're in your 30s? (yeah it is if you fucking rape them mate)

can't believe everyone knew but never said!!! (they literally did say and also hey imagine if you will what reasons there might be too not say anything, such as, say, it's not your story to tell and the victim had expressed a wish to not be at the centre of a whole shitstorm)

Real Victims wouldn't go to journalists they'd go to the cops!!! (hey guys I have some upsetting news about the experience of reporting rape to the cops)

This is a conspiracy to make this irrelevant celebrity look bad! (please touch grass)

it's all just a bit of fun innit (no)

and every time we all over again have to go to this place where rape is simultaneously a significant threat and common experience (agreed) but also everyone who's ever talked about being raped is lying, and nobody's ever done a rape even if there's 20 years of documented evidence and on camera confessions and also their whole public persona is 'cheeky sex pest' (fucking. what?)

and then that guy hopefully gets cancelled and people feel a bit more guilty about watching him. and then they'll go HOORAY THE EVIL IS DEFEATED WE HAVE GOT RID OF THAT GUY THAT DID THE RAPES. OUR WORK HERE IS DONE. COMEDY/FILM/MUSIC/TV IS FREE OF PREDATORS NOW

and then 6.5 seconds later allegations will come out about someone else and we will start the whole thing again from scratch OH MY GOD CAN YOU BELIEVE THERE'S ABUSE IN THIS INDUSTRY???

#red said #it gets SO under my skin like how are people STILL SURPRISED?????#like this happens SO OFTEN you canNOT still find it this unexpected???#especially when it's someone like Russell Brand who is the kind of 2000s comedian who built his entire career on predatory misogyny as a bi #like I'm sorry I'm sorry this isn't a time you so moment #but some people you're like oh that's disappointing. he seemed like he might be sound.#others though. you cannot tell me at any point in the last 20 years anyone's looked at Russell fucking Brand #and not thought at least a little bit oh this man's a fucking nonce #'russell brand predated on teenage girls for years' may be up there in the least surprising sentences I've ever heard #i have never seen a man who's more obviously used to regularly using the phrase 'I waited until her 16th birthday so it's fine'#the fucking fedora ass incorrectly loquacious cult vibes '''''ironic''''' hipster misogyny known-in-thr-scene creepster #like we all know that guy right? sometimes he's a famous comedian and sometimes he's a 38 year old musician who only ever #dates girls under 18 and hangs out at spots frequented by students trying to show off both how hip he is and how he's got Adult Money #but the vibes. the vibes. tbf a lot of those fuckers in the 2000s were probably also modelling their vibes off him also.#the looming monster of rape in the abstract

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