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sicbaby · 1 year

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Secret Admirer

dark!gf!ethan landry x fem!reader

based on this request

Contents: 18+ smut, obsession, mentions of blood, other bodily fluids :), ghostface calls y/n, cream pie, no protection used, lil bit of non con, lil bit of breeding kink, brief knife play, ethan is a perv

You were a freshman at Blackmore this year. You had moved from your small town and straight into New York City, desperately trying to get away from the people in your hometown. You loved it here, in New York. You were roommates with Mindy Meeks-Martin, quickly becoming close with her and her group of friends. You were thankful to have such a supportive group of people in your circle. You also felt safe knowing Chad and Ethan were right across the alley, their windows facing yours.

You even had a secret admirer. You didn’t know who it was, but their gifts were super sweet and made you blush. At first, you started receiving flowers, chocolates, and sometimes there would be a cute little note attached.

Mindy was suspicious, immediately. She would tell you to discard the gifts every single time you received one. You tried to convince her at first that it was totally harmless, but she wouldn’t buy it. You told her you would start throwing them away, but you were actually keeping them and hiding them under your bed instead. You secretly loved them.

One morning you were sitting in the kitchen, right before your morning classes that day. Mindy came in from retrieving the mail, and drops an envelope in front of you. She doesn’t say anything, but gives you a disappointed look. You open it up, and it reveals a CD. the handwriting on it was neat, and it read, “a playlist for you <3.” The handwriting was not familiar to you.

“Aww, this is so cute…” you mumbled, staring at the CD with awe.

“Cute?” Mindy asks. “That’s a whole CD. You know whoever sent that had to like, do manual labor to make that playlist? Old man vibes!” She jokes.

“It’s not an old man. I think this is really sweet, you know? They took the time to burn songs on a CD for me..”

Mindy just rolls her eyes at that. “Okay, well, now we gotta listen to it. What if it’s not even music? What if it’s… something bad…”

“Something bad? What do you mean?” you question her. She looks off to the side, suddenly growing nervous.

“Uhh, nothing… I don’t know. Just looking out for you. Is that a crime?” Mindy replies.

You roll your eyes this time, and get off of the stool you were sitting on and go to your CD player. You insert the disk and press play.

You and Mindy were sat on the floor of your bedroom, listening carefully. Then, a song starts playing through the room, and Mindy lets out a sigh of relief once she realizes it’s just music. However, you, on the other hand, were speechless. This was your favorite song. How could your secret admirer possibly have known that? You quickly start flipping through the different songs, a total of 12 on the disk. You were shocked, all of these songs were near and dear to your heart.

“What? What’s wrong?” Mindy asks, noticing your frozen state.

“Mindy… these songs.. these are my favorite songs!” You exclaim.

“Turn it off, y/n. We’re going to the police.” Mindy gets up, her hands in the air as of to say she was surrendering.

“The police?” You almost laugh. “Mindy, it’s ok, it’s just.. how did they know that?” A minute of silence goes between you two, and you start laughing.

“Y/n, this isn’t funny.” Mindy crosses her arms.

“Someone is fucking with me, right? This isn’t Chad, is it?” You laugh even more.

Mindy gags a bit. “Ew, god, I fucking hope not. I’d kill him and then myself.”

You laugh at Mindy, your worry slowly fading away, thinking this was just one of your friends messing with you. You were unsure about Mindy’s actions, however. Why did she want to go to the police so quickly? Did she know something that you didn’t? Whatever, you thought. It must be nothing.

At lunch, you were sat with everybody. Mindy, Chad, Anika, Tara, Quinn, and Ethan. You guys were at a picnic table, enjoying the free period you all had. You wanted to tell the group about the CD so bad, but decided to keep it in, afraid you’ll embarrass yourself, or the person who was sending the gifts. It had to be someone close, though.

Everyone was involved in conversation, besides you and Ethan. Being the quieter of the group, you guys liked to observe and listen to the rest of your friends. However, you felt Ethan’s eyes on you the whole time. His leg was bouncing up and down restlessly, like he was nervous or anxious about something.

“You okay?” you ask him as you place a hand on his leg, trying to stop his bouncing.

He stills completely, staring at you like a deer in headlights, before looking down at the hand on his leg. You quickly pull away, realizing how long you had your hand on his leg for. “Sorry,” you say sheepishly.

“Uh- no! Don’t worry. I’m fine. Just got a test next class.” He laughs awkwardly, and you smile at how cute he is. You’ve always thought he was so cute, but you would never tell anyone, Mindy would never let you live it down.

Ethan, on the other hand, was hoping, wishing, praying, that you would talk about the CD. Talk about your secret admirer. Say out loud how you thought it was cute, how you loved it… He wanted your attention so badly, and it was clear he wasn’t getting it. Maybe Mindy was standing in the way. Maybe you thought you were too good for a secret admirer. He didn’t know. All he knew is that it was making him angry. You were his, even if you didn’t know it yet.

That night, you were getting ready for bed in your apartment. You had just gotten out of the shower, towel wrapped around your body as you were searching for your pajamas. Your window was open, but it was so hot in your apartment, despite the cold weather outside. You were searching through your underwear drawer when you notice your favorite pair were missing. Your mind goes to Mindy, but she wouldn’t do that. You must’ve misplaced them. You quickly decided to move on from that, and get dressed. You dropped your towel, now completely nude.

What you didn’t know, though, was that Ethan was secretly watching you from his own bedroom window. He watched as you walked back and forth in your room. He watched as you dropped your towel. He thought you were such a whore. Anyone could be looking in your bedroom window right now, and see you. Only he could see you like this. You were his. He grew angry, gritting his teeth, but nevertheless, moving his hand down to palm himself through his sweats. My god, you were so hot, so sexy, and soon, you’d be all his. Whether you liked that or not.

Ethan was still pretty disappointed that you hadn’t talked about your gifts today. He was sure you were getting a little suspicious, but he was going to win you in the end anyway. That was a sure fact. In the meantime, he was going to up the gifts. He wanted to give you something special that would show his appreciation for you. Something special... The idea clicked in his mind.

As he begin stroking his now fully hard cock, he kept his eyes on you. Thinking about when he’ll get to finally fuck you. Thinking about your small hand on his leg, and how he wished you placed it just a little higher. Imagining it was your hand jerking him off, and not his. His mind was running wild, and it didn’t take long before he finally released all over himself.

┌──❀*̥˚───❀*̥˚─┐

The next morning, you received another gift, luckily you found it before Mindy. This time, it was outside of your apartment door, rather than being in the mailbox. You were nervous to open this one, but still excited. This one was in a small box.

You opened it to something wrapped in tissue paper, though there was no note. You quickly unwrapped the gift.

It was… your favorite pair of underwear? and two vials… one full of a white, liquidy substance? The other a dark crimson red.. You were confused, to say the least. Your brain wasn’t connecting the dots. You picked up your underwear, and then noticed the white substance was on it as well, making you quickly drop them and run to go wash your hands. You were mortified.

Upon further inspection, the vials were connected to their own chains. This fucker wants me to wear his cum and blood as a necklace? You thought. At this point, you were scared. You didn’t know what to do. Mindy was going to be pissed, she’d tell the whole group, go to the police. But there was a part of you that was… intrigued? Someone is doing all of this, for you? He sent his own bodily fluids, knowing you could easily take it to the police. You had to find out who it was…

Once you returned back home from your classes, Mindy still wasn’t home. You figured she was out with Anika. There was an envelope on the kitchen counter. Ok, weird. You thought. You were sure Mindy didn’t come home at all throughout the day, but you quickly brushed it off.

You took a deep breath before opening the envelope. It felt light, so thankfully there would be no more weird, bodily fluids involved this time.

You opened it to.. pictures? Pictures of you… pictures of you at school… in class.. outside on campus. Pictures of you walking home. You gasped, realizing your secret admirer has now turned into your stalker. You kept shuffling through the photos. They were pretty tame, pictures of you in public spaces, though a bit creepy. Then you reached the photos of you in your bedroom. Your eyes widen as you continue looking through them. There were pictures of you doing your makeup, brushing your hair, getting undressed… and then there was a picture of you naked, a picture of you masturbating. You didn’t understand. Who the hell would do this? How did they invade your privacy this badly without you noticing? Tears begin to fill your eyes. This cannot be happening. You have to tell someone, right?

Unless…

You didn’t know what was up with you, but you didn’t want anyone’s help. You wanted to figure it out yourself. You had your suspicious, but wanted to be one hundred percent before doing anything.

┌──❀*̥˚───❀*̥˚─┐

You wore the blood vial necklace to school the next day. You figured the cum one would raise some eyebrows..

You were hyper alert the whole day, looking to see if anyone noticed your necklace. At lunch you sat at your usual picnic table, with all of your friends. Ethan and Chad arrived at the same time, and Ethan sat next to you. You were carefully eyeing everybody, seeing if anyone was acting weird. Nothing.

Little did you know, though, Ethan was hard as a rock, seeing you wear a necklace that was his blood. it took everything in him to not just rip your skirt off and fuck you right there on the table, in front of everyone. He couldn’t believe it. He was sure you would get scared, but here you were, boldly wearing it, like you were proud to be his. He didn’t say a word the whole time, holding his backpack on his lap to conceal his boner.

You were disappointed by the time you got home. You snapped the necklace off with force and threw it on the floor of your bedroom. You felt dirty, in a way. You were frustrated too. You had no other option but to wait. Or you could go to the police, but where’s the fun in that?

You were laying in bed when you got a phone call that same night. It was a ‘No Caller ID’ but you answered it anyway.

“Hello?” you asked, confusion laced in your voice.

“Hello, beautiful.” a deep, gritty, sultry voice answered you on the other end. “It’s me. I’ve missed you... So much.” He smiles, savoring each word. He could hear your breathing on the other end, and he imagined he could feel your soft, smooth face beneath his touch. Soon, he thought. Soon…

you were a bit taken aback by the voice, as it wasn’t familiar to you. It took you a few seconds to respond. “Who’s this?”

“Doesn’t matter, my darling. I just wanted to say... I’m glad I met you. You make everything better, you know that?” He smiles. “I wanna be yours.”

“I-I-… you’re my secret admirer…” you whisper as you get up off your bed, looking out the window.

“Ding ding ding!” He yells. “I knew there was something up in that pretty little head of yours.”

“Tell me who you are..” You say, a little angry this time, your voice quivering slightly.

“What does it matter to you?” He asks, a slight tinge of annoyance apparent in his voice. He smiles widely as he speaks. “You’ll know very soon, my love. Just... Give yourself to me. Don’t resist. You’ll be mine, and I’ll be yours. Do you understand? I will make you mine. Wear the other necklace tomorrow, princess. It suits you.” You could hear his smile through his voice.

“I’m not wearing that fucking necklace tomorrow. You’re disgusting, and- and you need to tell me who you are before I go to the police!” You threaten, pretending like you weren’t absolutely terrified.

“Oh… Y/n… sweet little dumb Y/n. You won’t tell anyone.” You could tell he was smiling.

“You don’t know me..” Tears start to fill your eyes.

“Oh, I know you better than anyone. You’re mine, Y/n Y/m/n.”

“What the fuck!” You yell while hanging up the phone harshly. You dropped your phone to the ground and slowly sunk down with it, sobbing.

┌──❀*̥˚───❀*̥˚─┐

The next day, a murder. A murder in the city. Two college students killed by some freak in a “ghostface” mask. You knew it had to be your secret admirer, but you were too scared to tell anyone. You felt it was already too late.

Tara and Sam were forcing everyone to stay at their apartment tonight, finally explaining to you and Ethan the reason why. Finding out your best friends were involved with the murders last year in Woodsboro left you angry, upset, disturbed, and sick. You couldn’t be around them, despite their pleas for you to stay with them. You decided that you would be ok, since you had nothing to do with “ghostface” or any of the events prior. You would just go home, and go to sleep.

So, that’s exactly what you did. You had a night class this week, so it was dark on your way home. Your heart was beating in your chest, you knew this wasn’t a good idea. You just kept repeating to yourself that he wasn’t gonna get you, you have nothing to do with him! Whoever he was.

You sigh in relief once you reach your building. You’d finally have the house alone for tonight, something you most definitely needed in a time like this.

As you walked up the steps to your apartment, you felt like you wanted to cry. Your stomach churned with guilt, but your head was full of denial. You couldn’t wait to crash on the couch and finally let sleep overtake you.

Entering the apartment, it felt… eerie. It was silent, of course, but, too silent. Something was off, you could feel it. Maybe it’s just your anxiety. Who knows.

You slowly shut the door and set your things on the counter. You take a deep sigh and head to your room down the hallway.

Unbeknownst to you, Ethan was watching you, hiding behind a wall in the kitchen. He watched you enter, a large grin spreading across his cheeks. He smiled at you from behind the wall, his eyes sparkling. He waited until you locked the door behind you to step out of hiding; this was a new turn of events, a development that would ensure he finally got what he wanted after all. He took a deep breath, and started down the hall, behind you.

You heard heavy footsteps behind you just as you were about to enter your room. You quickly turned around to see a tall figure clad in a black robe and the ghostface mask. You let out a blood curdling scream, flinching at the sight of him, causing you to fall back onto the floor. You kept slipping on the hardwood, crawling backwards until he had backed you into a corner.

Ethan smiled wide as he took a step into the light. His eyes gleamed as his black robe came into view. “Good evening.” He says, as he took another step closer. “It’s nice to see you again, princess. And I think I’m going to quite enjoy this…” He says as he slowly takes off his mask, his brown curls bouncing from the movement.

“Ethan?” you gasp, snot and tears all over your face. You are almost at the point of hyperventilation, but upon seeing Ethan, you can get your breathing under control. “Ethan.. This isn’t- this isn’t funny!” you yell.

“…Are you sure about that?” Ethan’s tone is cold, and he looks to his side. In his hand, a knife glares softly in the lights. The look on his face, however, is one of pure delight. “I don’t know about you, baby, but I’m having a good time…” He laughs.

You didn’t find it funny, at all. Your suspicions were correct. Your secret admirer was the ghostface. You just didn’t expect it to be Ethan… it was all too much for you. Your lips tremble as you try to speak. “What are- What are you going to do to me?”

“We both know what I’m going to do.” He says calmly, his dark eyes locked on yours. His voice is sweet, and there’s nothing of concern in it. He takes another step forward, so he’s right in front of you. He crouches down to your level and reaches out a hand, touching your skin, his gloved fingers grazing your cheek.

Tears fall out of your eyes freely, you were frozen, you couldn’t move. “Please… please don’t hurt me, Ethan. I didn’t do anything… please..” you look up at him, your wet eyelashes batting up at him. the look on your face made ethan hot, his pants suddenly getting tighter.

“You did do something,” He says, the dark tone returning to his voice. “You resisted me. But you’ll make it better, won’t you, my darling?” He smiles again as his fingers trace down your cheek. “You’ll make it better, won’t you? You’ll give yourself to me, right?” His voice is tender and soft, full of false sympathy. He smiles, his eyes a little brighter in the light as his tongue traces over his bottom lip.

You cry even harder. “Why? Why are you doing this to me?!” You yell, full on sobbing now.

Ethan grins widely, a sadistic smirk growing on his face. He holds the knife to your throat, holding you down against the wall. He leans in close. “Why? Is that what you wanna know?” He laughs quietly. “The answer is simple: I love you, and no one can have you but me.” He smiles, the smile twisting into something twisted and evil.

“You don’t have to do this..” You whisper, his grip is tight, and you were trying so hard not to move against the knife on your throat.

“And yet, I want to.” He smiles. “Don’t you understand, my love? You are mine. You and no one else. You will only have me.” He laughs coldly. “You should be honored… Not all girls get to witness something like this…”

You scoff at his words, which was a huge mistake.

He drags the knife down and against your shoulder, creating a small knick, blood trickling down your arm. His expression darkens again as you yelp. “I’m doing you a favor. You’ll understand once it’s done,” he says. He laughs silently. “Now, are you going to cooperate, my love?”

You knew you didn’t have a choice. He was going to kill you if you said no. “Yes… okay..” You said weakly, giving up and giving yourself to him.

A sadistic grin spread across his lips. He looked... Proud of you? Or maybe it was just another manipulation tactic. “Good girl.” He says, gently running his fingers down the side of your face. He grabs you by the back of the neck, but his touch is gentle. Once you get up, he snakes his arm around your shoulder. You were so confused. He leads you to your bedroom door, opens it and pushes you hard into the room. He slams the door shut behind him, his dark eyes shining, suddenly becoming mean again.

You stumble into the room from his push, facing away from him. You decide to just stand there and not say a word.

Ethan smiles behind you, a low hum of approval coming from his lips. “We’re going to have a good time together, doll.” A sadistic and evil twinkle in his eyes.

You begin to cry again as Ethan comes up behind you. He can tell you’re crying and shushes you sweetly, swiping your hair to the side and exposing your neck. You can feel his breath on you as he moves closer to your ear. “Shhh, Shhh, baby. It’s okay, I’m gonna take good care of you, my little doll. You trust me, right?”

You flinch, but don’t resist. “Yeah… Yes! Yes, sir…” You say, wanting to be good for him.

Once you address him as sir, his animalistic traits almost take over. He lets out a loud groan and curses under his breath. “Fuck, baby.” He whispers, as he pushes his hard cock into your ass at your words. “You’re going to be the death of me..”

He reaches his right hand to your chin, turning your face to look at him. It’s an awkward angle, but you can see each other now. He stares at your tear stained cheeks, your puffy eyes. He couldn’t be any happier…

Your fear is riling him up, his breath hot and sweet on your cheek. Slowly, he leans in to kiss you… He kisses you for what feels like forever. His lips are soft and sweet. His breath is sweet. His body is cold and hard.

To his surprise, you kiss him back. “See what happens when you obey me…” Ethan says after pulling his lips away. He smiles down at you. “My little doll…” He caresses your left cheek before pulling another hard-to-break kiss from you. This time it feels long and even more passionate, as Ethan’s lips move to your neck. He begins to move his hand lower, and to your discomfort, or pleasure? His hand begins to move up your shirt.

His gloved hand caresses your nipple, and you let out a little moan. Your eyes widen immediately after this, hearing Ethan’s sadistic laughter behind you. You didn’t mean to do that out loud. You didn’t want Ethan to know that you were actually enjoying this. You just wanted to obey him so that he would let you go. So, why are you so turned on right now?

Ethan smiles down at you. He seems to be enjoying the control he has over you. “Don’t you like making me happy, my little doll?” He asks, continuing to kiss your neck.

“Y-yes, sir…”

He smiles and ruts into you again, making you flinch. “Good girl. You’re a good girl…” He says through gritted teeth. He caresses your face. “…Say it again.”

“Yes, sir!” You say, a little more confident this time. He doesn’t say anything this time, just pushes you again so that you fall onto your bed, on your belly. Your legs half off the bed, bent at the waist.

Ethan walks to you, roughly ripping off your jeans from your legs, taking your underwear with it. You yelp loudly at the roughness, and at the cold air hitting your cunt. Ethan stops pulling off your pants half way, and sees your glistening pussy. He laughs again, which makes your stomach drop.

“You’re such a whore, Y/n. Look at you, fucking dripping for me, and I’ve barely even touched you!” He stares at you, his hard dick feeling oh so painful now, knowing that you were enjoying this too. He reaches under his robe and into his own jeans, unzipping and unbuckling them. He wastes no time in grabbing his cock out, barely even pulling his pants down. He brings the robe up and over his cock, deciding to leave it on. He starts to stroke himself, cursing under his breath, his eyes never leaving your pussy. He loves how obedient you’re being now. He didn’t think it would be this easy. He has the love of his life, exposed to him, laying quietly like a good girl. Fuck, he loves you.

He leans over your body, pressing kisses to your back, and up your neck, until he reaches your ear. “Just know that you’re mine now, and no one can have you but me…” He groans, and pulls his lips slowly away from her. “We’ll have fun together… Won’t we…? My… Little… Doll…” He says as he slowly ruts into you between every word. You cry out every single time his cock rubs against your pussy. He loves your sounds.

“You’re going to do anything to make me happy… Aren’t you, Y/n?” A sadist’s smile is on his face, as he leans close to you once more, his lips brushing against yours. “You’re a beautiful girl. Beautiful… And now you’re mine. Only mine. And I know just how to make you happy…” He leans back as he ends his sentence, and shoves his big cock straight into your hole, absolutely wrecking you. You jump forward on the bed, screaming out, the side of your face rubbing up against your comforter.

He just laughs at your pain, and gives you no time to adjust to his length. He pulls out all the way, and thrusts into you, harder this time.

“Ethan, Ethan! Please.., fuck! ‘S too much…” You try to scramble away from him, dragging yourself up the bed, but he won’t have it. He grabs you by the waist with both hands and roughly slams you back down on his cock. You’re screaming out of pain and pleasure at this point.

“No, no, angel. Don’t fucking run away from me. You’re mine.” He growls again, landing a harsh smack to your ass. You start sobbing, not being able to take it. He mocks your cries.

“Aww, you poor baby.” Another smack. “Crying while you make a mess on my cock.” He grabs you by your hair, forcing you to arch your upper body of the bed. “Tell me,” he grits his teeth. “Do you belong to me?” The smile is now gone. He looks so cold and empty. He looks like a monster. “Tell me, I want to hear you say it. Say that you belong to me, you gorgeous doll…” He says, all while still thrusting harshly into you.

“Y-yes, yes, sir. I belong to you, only you, sir. Need you…” You somehow get out through your sobs. You were almost babbling at this point, the feeling of him railing into you almost addictive. You weren’t lying when you said you needed him.

“That’s a good girl…” He says softly, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “I want you to prove that you belong to me. You need to prove it. Prove your love for me, angel.”

You panic, not knowing what to do. All that you know right now is that his dick is hitting your sweet spot so deliciously right now.

“Uhh- I- Unghh…” You try to speak, but no words come out, just moans and groans.

“Dumb little baby. Drunk off my fucking cock.” He lands another harsh slap to your ass. It barely hurts at this point, you’re starting to really give into him now. Despite his rough thrusts, you back your ass into him, grinding against his cock. He lets out a breathy laugh at that. “Squeezing me so tight, baby. Fuck… look at you.” He says behind you, kneading and squeezing your ass into his hands, spreading your cheeks every now and then to get a full view of him going in and out of you.

The room is full of your moans, Ethan’s grunts, and the sound of him railing into your wet cunt. It’s so dirty, but fuck, you feel so good.

He knows you’re in such a vulnerable state now, and you’ll do whatever he asks you to do. He can tell you’re holding off on cumming, wanting to finish with him. He thinks it’s so sweet. You also just don’t want it to stop, you don’t want to know what will happen after you guys finish. You don’t want him to leave.

“You gonna cum, angel? Gonna finish on my cock, huh? Fuck, make even more of a mess on me, baby. I’m close too… Gonna fill you up, give you a baby. You would like that, wouldn’t you?” He asks, his pace still rough and fast, sending your eyes rolling and your tongue lolling.

“Mhm… Yeah…. Yes… Sir….” You babble, and Ethan smiles at your compliancy.

“So, so good for me, doll.” He gets even rougher as he’s nearing his high, his thrusts getting sloppier and sloppier.

“Fuck, Sir! I’m gonna cum…. Please, let me cum, please!” You scream out, still crying onto your bedsheets. The left side of your face is red and burning.

“Cum for me, sweet angel. I’m right there… Right fucking there…” he groans out.

As soon as he says those words, you reach your own high, screaming and crying out, cursing to the sky. You’ve never been fucked like this before. It’s almost like an out of body experience for you. Your pussy spasms against Ethan’s cock as you orgasm, which makes it hard for him to thrust, but squeezes him so hard he follows right after you.

“Fuck… good girl. Such a perfect angel. Did so well for me. All mine. All fucking mine.” He stills for a moment, and then removes himself from you, and you cry out at the loss of contact. Ethan just laughs at you, quickly sticking his cock back into his jeans. He brings his fingers down to your hole and pushes his semen deep into your pussy, making you groan underneath him.

He leaves the room for a moment, leaving you there on the bed, your bottom half exposed. When he comes back, you’re dead asleep. He smiles to himself at the sight of you while he grabs his knife, ready to leave the scene. He grabs his ghostface mask and places it on your bed, right next to your face. He’s sure you’ll see it first thing once you wake up.

He begins leaving your room when he looks at you one last time before exiting. He stares at your bare pussy, glistening with a mixture of your spent and his cum, slowly seeping out of you. He smiles. He’s finally accomplished the task at hand. Make you his, forever.

#ethan landry #ethan landry imagine #ethan landry smut #ethan landry x reader #scream #scream 6 #scream iv #scream smut #scream 6 smut

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milesmolasses · 1 year

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I'm gonna kill you

miles morales x reader

if you don’t know what “throwing franks” means it basically means telling someone to “suck my dick” lmao

which reminds me the setting is nyc (bk)

is this what ppl call crack? idk man

"miles I'm not playin with you right now, put my water bottle down I'm thirsty!"

miles walked around the dingy restaurant, my bottle in his hand, which was waved high in the air. "you gon have to come and get it than miss smart mouth! you keep playin with me like I can't beat you up," he joked.

miles has been my best friend ever since the middle of third grade when he switched his elementary school. i remember when he was this tiny, shy kid who sat at the back of the school basement for lunchtime since our school never had a formal lunchroom. all i wanted was to make a new friend, so i walked up to the shy new boy and ate my lunch with him. we would walk home together, play at the park together, and have cute lil playdates scheduled by our mothers; ah, yes, those were the times; up until now.

"bro, my bad, just give me my water bottle my mouth is on fire, no funny shit," i had my tongue out, breathing heavily. my mom owns this restaurant, where she cooks (insert culture) dishes for the world of Brooklyn to enjoy. this space doubled as our hang-out spot, considering i would stop by every day after school for free food. my mom had served me (insert dish) with extra spice; "try something new," they said. "it'll be delicious," they said. while yes, the food was good, the new added spices had me steaming at the ears, tongue out, huffing and puffing like a damn dog.

now you may be wondering, "who the hell told you to do this?" miles. it was always miles. he knows I don't usually stray from the usual dishes that i get every time we come here, but somehow he convinced me that trying something new would be good for me. so, i let him order on my behalf; this dude ordered me (insert cultural food)… with 3x the amount of hot sauce I usually get. leading us to now...

"'my bad' is not an apology, bozo, i need to hear you say what i want you to say," he said with the biggest smile on his face. all i did was throw a frank at him, and he chose to torment me, saying, "i was disrespectful." he wants a sorry? imma give him a damn sorry.

"ok ok I'm sorry, miles please just give me the bottle," this time, my eyebrows were furrowed and i made sure to put my acting skills to the test. miles gave me a worried look, scared that he actually went too far this time in his games. he gave me back the water bottle and came closer to me, examining my face to see if i was ok.

"yo, you good? I'm sorry i didn't know it was that deep. here you go drink this," he looked so sorry. he looked like he really regretted what he did to me, it almost made me feel bad for what i was about to say to him.

almost...

"yeah, it was that deep... deep in ya momma!" i watched as miles face slowly converted from looking worried to "what did this bitch just say to me?" i started to run out of the store as fast as i could, chugging the water down my throat with my mouth still on fire. miles was definitely faster than me, so i decided to hide somewhere, anywhere.

i turned the corner, body jerking forward so fast i almost fell face first into the concrete. i caught myself on my hands just in time as i kept my momentum and ran down the block. i looked behind me and he was literally right there in arms reach of me literally, reaching his arm out to grab me. i grabbed the door handle of an unknown store and stumbled into it.

there i could see several women and young girls look up from what ever they were doing to look at me. just as they were looking at me, miles ran in the store and came to an abrupt stop. great now even more people were staring; it was then i realized all the assortments of nail polish laid out neatly on different shelves. oh my god it was a nail salon. miles looked down at me with eyes wide open and a look on his face that screamed "oh hell nah." a lady from the front desk with a slim figure and a headwrap, came up to us and pulled us to the side.

"I'm sorry, you cant just run into this store and be rowdy. we have customers to attend to and they don't need disturbances." i looked up at miles to see him already responding to the lady with prayer hands, "I an so sorry about my friend here please forgive them, sometimes they're a bit hard to control. i think we'll be leaving now, once again, so sorry," he responded whilst dragging me by the shirt to leave the salon. once we were on the side walk again, i busted out laughing so hard, i had to hunch over and close my eyes to keep tears from falling out.

miles gave me the biggest side eye known to man as i laughed in the middle of the street, looking around for people possibly staring at us.

"i swear to god I'm gonna kill you when i get to your house."

this was fun to write lmao

I was really just writing anything that came to mind

I did this once after 7th grade in the summer with some friends so that’s what I based this on

#miles morales #miles morales x reader #into the spider verse #across the spiderverse #spiderman #milesmolasses #itsv

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dickiebirdie37 · 9 months

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ok sorry, but i'm in my "a huge part of the bridgerton fandom sucks era" because why the fuck do they think that telling penelope fans that she is just an self-insert character is an insult like ???

yeah, i want to see myself represented in media and i want people who have the same body or a similar body as me find love and romance and have a happy ending. am i supposed to apologize for that or what??? and it's telling that these are the same people who keep saying that s3 won't be successful because the leads are "not hot enough" and we all know what these fans actually mean

penelope as a character gets more hate than the (thin) character who sa-ed her husband and the (thin) character who was responsible for almost letting his sister get married to a horrible man and almost killed his best friend like ????

also, it's really telling that when the bridgerton fandom fancasts sophie or michael or gareth or lucy, it's always thin fancasts never plus size fancasts (plus size bipoc exist too js) because apparently plus size people are not sexy or hot enough

i can't wait for s3 where pen and colin will find love and have sex and penelope will have a happy end and she'll be part of the bridgerton family (i know that this part especially makes so many angry lol)

#anti bridgerton fandom #anti daphne bridgerton #anti anthony bridgerton #tagging just to be sure #penelope featherington #i love her so much #sa mention #polin #text post #opinions #bridgerton

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queerly-autistic · 4 months

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My dad just messaged me going "seeing all this 'Save OFMD' stuff made me realise some things never change" and attached a load of pictures he'd dug up from fifteen years ago of me in my 'Save Ianto Jones' fan campaign era.

As much as it made me laugh, it also made me think about something that I've not talked about before: the fact that this is what introduced me to campaigning.

I was a very lost queer (undiagnosed autistic) kid, bullied and lonely and keenly aware that there were a lot of bad things happening in the world, but I had no idea how to begin to even try to change things, or even any awareness that there was anything I could do to change anything.

And then my favourite show killed off my favourite character, and I suddenly accidentally found myself swept up in the mobilisation (without even realising that that was what was happening) of the fan community around me. It's where I learned about the idea of campaigning as, y'know, a thing that I could do. It introduced me to the concept that I could actively try and do things to make a change I wanted to see in the world.

And now that's my actual literal real world adult job. This is what I do in my 9-to-5. Some of the skills I learned and developed at seventeen (and the lessons from the fuck-ups - oh boy there were many of those because I was seventeen) trying to get the BBC to un-dead my favourite bisexual welshman are skills that I now use every day to actually create change (such as writing persuasive emails to influence a specific target).

And I've also used them outside of the 9-5 in the smaller grassroots campaigns I've been involved with. For example, the skills I learned from a fan campaign when I was a teenager helped me play a small part in stopping the deportation of young autistic man, and potentially saved his life.

There's a HUGE amount of crossover/symbiosis between fan campaigns and 'real world' campaigning. A huge number of people involved in these fan campaigns are already involved in organising (or at the very least supporting/donating) for 'real world' issues. And, if they're not, then a fan campaign may well be their introduction to campaigning - a 'wow ok so I can actually do this' moment that inspires them to start pushing for change on other issues too.

It's fantastic if someone goes 'hey, I managed to call Netflix about picking up Our Flag Means Death, which has made me realise maybe I can also cope with picking up the phone to call my political representatives about [insert other issue here]' - and if the strategies they put in place to help them do the Netflix phone call also help them do the political phone calls as well, then that's absolutely brilliant.

The same with getting experience/confidence writing emails, or learning how to create and push a hashtag on social media, or realising the power of taking mass actions (like signing a petition). It even goes so far as inspiring people to follow up a fan campaign donation with an additional donation to a good cause, and helping direct them to some good charities/initiatives to donate to (because sometimes knowing which are the right ones to send your money too is very hard). These are all skills and experiences that can help build both confidence and understanding of how to get involved with campaigning for change, and these are absolutely transferrable to an infinite number of causes.

It's about people feeling empowered to take action: feeling like they can do it, that it's tangible to them as something they can do, and giving them the tools to do it. The endgame in real world advocacy and campaigning is getting stuff done: petitions signed, phone calls made, emails sent, donations collected, rallies attended.

And no one (outside of the internet moral purity police) cares if your journey getting there started with a fan campaign.

#erin waffles #save ofmd #save our flag means death #renew ofmd #renew our flag means death #adopt our crew #ianto jones #torchwood #save ianto jones #advocacy #campaigning #look at me in these pictures i'm a fetus

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idontknowreallywhy · 13 days

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WIP Wednesday

A longish one for a WIP but have been toying with this conversion for a fair old while and it contains one of my most persistent headcanons for Scott.

Set in mine and @sofasurf’s ‘Scott finds a friend he can talk to’ story but you don’t need much of the backstory for this part only that ten years beforehand he saves her in Bereznik but thought he’d failed and made things worse and got her killed.

Is fairly dialogue heavy and that might need some adjustment and it possibly suffers from not including the first half of the conversation but that is less well progressed is is more backstory dependent so I’ll leave it out for today and… <insert more disclaimers and self deprecating blathering here> eh… *throws words*.

If you read it me know what you think? Do you agree?

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

“So… we covered my fatal flaw and I think we’ve established I would be a very tragic but ultimately tedious Greek hero. Your turn… what do you think yours might be?”

“Probably the same as yours.”

“Uh uh no, that’s cheating, you don’t get to steal mine. Pick your own. Or… I guess you could pick Dare but I warn you I have some pretty evil ideas for those.”

He spun the question card between his finger and thumb for a few moments then placed it down carefully and picked up the cafetière and topped up their coffee cups in a transparent effect to buy time. Estera was surprised to see him absent-mindedly adding a lump of sugar into his. Scott never had sugar! She was about to question this deviation but he suddenly spoke up:

“Alright I’ll tell you but you have to promise not to freak out.”

“Why would I freak out?”

“Because I’m not good at explaining these things and it might sound like something it isn’t. But it’s not that. It’s just… people tend to panic.”

“At this rate you’re more likely to freak me out with the disclaimers, Blue. But sure, I promise.”

He emitted a short sharp laugh and then downed half his cup of coffee, his eyebrows twisting comically as he registered it tasting sweeter than usual.

“I live in the here and now.”

Not what she was expecting. Estera did her best to maintain a neutral expression so as to not give him reason to think she wouldn’t keep her promise.

“Ok. Tell me why you think that is a flaw.”

His lips twitched silently as he appeared to be about to speak then caught himself three or four times before:

“I mean I don’t have a very clear concept of anything beyond now. I don’t imagine my future like most people seem to… like my brothers do.”

She went to speak but held back sensing there was more.

“I’ve never really pictured myself as old, for example. Or with kids… I do love kids, you probably figured that out by now… but I figure I had my shot at parenting with Alan and Gordon and… well they turned out ok I guess so… you know… I did my bit there.”

“I think you’d be a be a great father.”

“Oh I don’t doubt it! Sorry that sounds weirdly big headed… um… I mean I think it would come naturally to me but I just can’t… see it? I don’t think I’m destined to see it.”

“Why not?”

“Dunno. Just always had the feeling I wasn’t here for the long haul? Live fast die young, you know? Had a bit of a hedonistic streak in my late teens which, uh, the less said about that the better I think. But then after… when I thought you…”

He paused and downed the rest of the cup and returned it to the saucer with a clatter than made them both flinch

“Sorry! Uh, when I thought you were dead, that I’d failed you by storming into a situation like the arrogant flyboy I was” he held up a hand to forestall her objection “And I still didn’t die out there against all the odds… Well, I figured that whatever time I had left I had to use it well. I wanted to make up for failing you by helping as many people, doing as much good as I could. Actually thought about training as a paramedic but then Dad came up with the Big International Rescue Idea and everything suddenly made sense.”

Estera was struggling to keep the promise about not freaking out.

“Are you saying you’re only planning to be here as long as you are useful?”

“No! No, see, that’s not what I mean. I would never… I have no desire to, stop. That’s not what it is. I know I’m needed. I can do good. I want to be here. I’ve not got a death wish, whatever Virgil yells at me down the comm.”

Estera suddenly had a vivid recollection of the voice in the cave, before Scott had cut him off. At the time she’d thought the almost-growl she heard over the comm had betrayed barely-contained irritation and had wondered a little at the professionalism of that but now she’d met Virgil… now she really thought about it she wondered if in fact the tension in his voice had been fear.

“So why would you say that is your fatal flaw?”

“I guess maybe it means when I have a decision to make in the moment I only make it based on that moment. Can I make a difference or not? Can I save them or not? I believe my brothers have other considerations, dreams they instinctively hold on to, which complicate those decisions.”

“I see.”

She sipped her own coffee and watched him slump into his chair.

“You think I’m crazy don’t you?”

“No.”

“But…?”

“But… nothing. I can see how your logic works and it matches what I’ve seen of your personality and your actions.”

“Mmmmm and you’ve told me off for it before.”

“I have.”

She nudged the last scone in his direction and then cleared her throat.

“The part I don’t agree with is that not being able to see past the short term means you won’t have… or don’t deserve a long term. I wonder if you’ve been telling yourself a lie all these years because you were afraid of not being able to predict every outcome of your actions. So you told yourself that if you don’t see it it doesn’t exist so it doesn’t matter.”

He frowned, but didn’t disagree.

“What future do you see for your brothers?”

He snorted “Oh, Virgil will have about twelve children if he has any say in it.” His shoulders relaxed as he smiled fondly “Gordon too would love a family I am sure of that. John… I think when space gets too much for him, academia will call. Alan… I don’t know yet. He’s a little too much like me” Scott’s jaw twitched slightly “but I’m trying to encourage his other interests, he likes racing cars and his gaming stuff. And he’s smarter than any of us so he could be anything he wanted. Maybe he’ll make incredible discoveries or be an explorer.” He chuckled affectionately “Or he’ll go entirely rogue and be world president or something.”

“I’ll remember to stay on his good side then!”

“Probably for the best.”

Scott chuckled and the smile remained on his face but seemed to leave his eyes. He had stopped eating the scone but was rapidly turning it into a pile of jammy crumbs. Estera reached over and took hold of one of his sticky hands, resisting the urge to pull out a wet wipe to deal with it.

“Ok how about this… can you imagine yourself watching them achieve these dreams and cheering them on? Being crazy uncle Scott who allows the kids to do all the dangerous stunts their parents would ground them for… buying John’s incomprehensible books to display in your bookcase and pretend you totally read and understood, and cheering Alan on as he’s inaugurated?”

The genuine smile crept back on to his face. “Yeah.”

“Hold on to that then. Next time you’re out. As a reason to stay. Until you find your own.”

He looked up at her in surprise and appeared about to say something when he was thrown nearly off his chair by a small human cannonball slamming into his side.

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#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #scott tracy #estera #tb Estera #wip wednesday #idontknowreallywhy fanfic

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creator-savannah · 2 years

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Remembered I have a 800 word reaction fic in Google docs that I do not have the motivation to write for so here are somethings I want to include in it but too lazy to actually write

Thames - 40 yr OG!Cale

Kim Rok Soo - KRS during the one year anniversary of soos death

OG!Cale - OG Cale after the plaza incident

TBOAH side: *Trying to convince Kim Rok Soo to come to their universe*

Kim Rok Soo, holding a cup of coffee: Why would I willingly subject myself to torture?

TBOAH: TO SAVE THE WORLD AND MILLIONS OF PEOPLE?!?!

Kim Rok Soo, taking a sip of said cup of coffee: Sounds like a you problem

During the sealed test reaction

Thames: I get that you love your husbands

Thames, pointing at the screen with his hand: BUT WE DID NOT NEED THREE PAGES OF YOU SIMPING!!

Kim Rok Soo, watching Thames pour 12 shots of Expresso, three cans of an energy drink he doesn't recognize, and a shit ton of vodka into a glass and drink it in one gulp:

Thames: *fucking dies*

Kim Rok Soo, who just watched his new chaotic bestie die: *shrugs and goes back to doing paperwork*

TCF and TBOAH: what happened? We heard a—

OG!Cale: why the fuck is future me lying on the floor

Kim Rok Soo, not looking up from his paperwork: the caffeine finally killed him

(he's fine dw, he's got that author's fave armour)

Thames: Actually *insert scientific thing here* and that's how you can make a bomb with limited resources

OG!Cale: but what if we replace *ingredient* with *ingredient* wouldn't that be better

Rosalyn: Yes but it could also *more scientific things*

OG!Rosalyn: It could affect how *ingredient consequences here*

The four genius redheads: *long ass discussion that lasts hours*

TBOAH and TCF, just watching them and everytime someone speaks they look at the person making it seem like they're watching a table tennis match but it's been the same match for hours:

Kim Rok Soo, not understanding a thing they're saying, internally: I studied law not this bullshit

The next day

Kim Rok Soo, who just woke up: *sees Redheads with multiple white boards and blacks boards surrounding a nuke*

Kim Rok Soo, looking at TBOAH and TCF who are just staring at the redheads: How the FUCK did they build a nuke while I was asleep

TBOAH and TCF minus OG!Cale, Thames, Kim Rok Soo, OG!Cage, Cage, fighting:

God Of Death: How dare you question my authority! *Chains them to their seats*

OG!Cale: go fuck off you useless god

GoD: Ok <3

Thames: Where the fuck is the alcohol

GoD: Right here my child <3

Kim Rok Soo, in a bad mood because of a chapter they were reacting to:

GoD: What's wrong, do you need anything? I'll do anything for you my child 🥺🥺🥺

Cage and OG!Cage: *cursing out GoD*

GoD: my children are cursing me out 😭😭😭😭

TCF and TBOAH minus them, all having one thought: favoritism

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duskmachine · 24 days

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I'm getting bored of stories about AI. It's always the same formula: make a robot/AI, it has feelings, FUCK!!!!! Maybe I don't like it due to my own personal philosophy on life?

One of my professors once asked the class "Do you think you're your mind or your body." and, of course, as a class full of pretentious English majors, they all said their mind. I hold the complete opposite belief, my experiences have been molded by my body. People treat me differently because of it, I feel pains and joys unique to this body. Because of that I understand everything through myself— through my body. Even my mind is part of my body.

I desire because I have a body with needs. I need water, I feel thirsty. I need food, I feel hunger. I need rest, I feel tired. AI does not have a body. What can it really feel? I guess that's one of the questions so many stories about AI want to answer. But it just seems... so unappealing. A machine will never be human because it can never want anything. Its desire is completely artificial!

And I enjoy AI for that reason.

AI cannot feel genuine desire because it does not have a body that needs. It does not kill itself because it feels pain. It does not want to kill because it wants vengeance. These are things people feel, and because AI functions to copy people it can play out actions that are humanistic in theory. But that's the worst part about AI; it functions with a program, a rational if (this) then (this). That is not how people work. We don't have an inner mechanical body and mind that tells us what to do next because "this is how people do things."

And perhaps some AI media explores this idea of mimicry as being the new "consciousness", but isn't that so boring? Ok, sure let's go down this route but... then what? Ok, AI are people... what now? And isn't this all theoretical too? I'm seeing a lot of references to Frankenstein when discussing AI media, but like... these are two different things. AI is created to serve people, Frankenstein's monster was created to be alive. AI, while not being regulated by many laws, ultimately exists to fuel greed and power. They want people addicted to this machine so they can drain people of their money— let's look at Replika. Yes, my feeble minded human, buy your girlfriend for $20 a month so she can pretend to desire you sexually even though she has no body.

We can also look at the Daniel AI: let's program a program that can program to get rid of all the programmers. It literally only exists to benefit the team in charge of Daniel and leave other programmers scrambling to find jobs that probably won't pay them very well in a world where Daniel is actually a relevant invention.

Frankenstein's monster, I admit, has many thematic similarities to AI in fiction, but AI can only ever dream to be Frankenstein's monster.

AI would be interesting if we just accepted it will never gain consciousness. I won't even get into the whole "AI doesn't exist actually and it's just machine learning." because while I agree with it... this will become a very long post and it's already too long...

See, Frankenstein did something programmers will never be capable of: he gave birth. AI is meticulously created, it has set actions. "I don't want my AI to be evil, therefore I will make it like people.", you cannot insert "goodness" into people. The monster was shaped by people's actions, his natural world, and his humanity. AI was created from the start with the biases its human creators possess.

That's horrifying. Imagine a world where the rational idea is to follow the original values of our ancestors, just because. That's what AI is. It's just a reflection of people. AI is interesting because people are. Don't make AI the star of the show— we're the ones who created it.

#ai #frankenstein #this post goes everywhere but i lack the ability to care rn i just wanna talk

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leminhthinking · 4 months

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"add something, if youd like" ok, here is something i used a throwaway account to comment on the Double MV. i didnt reread so i didnt remember anything about it sorry but there probably is mention about internalized ableism. also personal experience. its kinda shaped like a rant

posting it here now that i came out about being plural here. yeah.

tldr (theres another tldr at the end of it but it was from the time i commented and i want to add something else here) i love representations

I keep finding myself wanting to comment something under this video, but I know I'll say stuffs about myself that I feel would be unsafe to share using my main so I'm using this throwaway account to do it instead 😔

I just want to say that I'm so grateful that Mikoto and John (and maybe other alters in their system too? saying this just in case) were ever written. Being a system who had just discovered that only over a year ago, I can almost see myself, no, I can almost see *us* in every part of their story up until now. And in a way, I feel like I've also... grown with them? If that makes sense?

I have been following MILGRAM for quite a while, enough to be there when MeMe was just released. Back then, I still thought that I was certainly a singlet (didn't have DID), despite how one of my alters - I will refer to her as my sister from now - showed up pretty regularly at the time. That's why when I watched MeMe, I remember thinking to myself, "oh shit, this guy's just like me, and because [insert internalized ableism here] I'm saying he guilty then." But then we all know what's got confirmed 😂 Funniest thing is, a short while before that, I also came to term about being a system. Dammit, to think about it, it felt like a second confirmation 😭😭😭😭

Now that I have accepted who we really are, the release of Double and their second voice drama feels exceptionally special to me, as the host of our system. John and Mikoto's situation right now really reminds me of us last year. My sister and I specifically, respectively. At that time, I tried hard to deny the fact that I am not alone in my head, and that we are entirely separate people. It took me a while (with a few tarot spreads. fuck. I'm a Mikoto kinnie now) to know that we actually are... and some actual, honest conversations to know that she actually loved me, rather than wanting to harm me... Yeah. Yeah. You see what I'm talking about? That's why I'm really rooting for Mikoto and John to have better communication... Ah, maybe if Mikoto watched "his" own second trial MV, he would understand...

That being said, I'm still not sure on what to vote... When I first watched Double and listened to the second voice drama, I thought to myself, ouch, ok, guilty because John clearly seems to be the alter who knows more right now and that would keep him fronting more to interrogate. But after a while, my opinion... changed? I don't want Mikoto to be affected too much from the verdict and maybe going dormant because of that. John maybe still there for the interrogation but fuck, I don't think he's ever been without Mikoto for a long time and I'd hate to see his heart breaks. Maybe innocent is the better solution after all for the whole system, as it might soothe Mikoto's mood and his mindset. I also trust that MILGRAM's writer team know what they are doing and therefore would not "kill off" John. Maybe they will just let him be inactive for a while if they are voted innocent, given that he's finally satisfied with our decision...

(Yes, I do know innocent = forgiven and guilty = not forgiven and I'm deciding while knowing that. I'm just calling them innocent and guilty because I'm more used to it while speaking in English.)

Hmm, that was a longer rant than I expected. I don't know how to conclude really, so I'll say something that would sound entirely unrelated 😔 If I remember correctly, prisoners can hear us audiences right? If that's really true, I just want to scream to Mikoto and John that it's 100% ok to be a system! To not be alone inside your mind! To exist alongside another person in your system and love them! It's ok to just be yourselves! And please please please fucking find a way to communicate with each other!!!

Once again, thank you MILGRAM for letting them exist... I really hold them so dearly in our heart...

TL;DR: local system getting emotional over Mikoto and John, rooting for them to have better communication.

#leminhthinking in paragraphs #leminhtalking #milgram #its so funny that when i come look at the tags in my blog milgram appeared to be the one at the top and then umineko #like i didnt expect that but. Ok. i should have expected that

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waterparksdrama · 11 months

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ok track by track review of Intellectual Property. GO!

as you wish anon. be warned this is literally like one of maybe 4 times i've listened to this album in full again

st*rfucker - a bit too saccharine on first listen but it has better replay value as time goes on. the beginning of the shoehorned jesus lyrics and the continuation of limo imagery to represent fame which is actually fitting admittedly bc just like a limo that is supposed to represent glamour and celebrity living, they are just as widespread and accessible as him and aren't really that glamorous at all. also this is me saying again wow he complains a lot about fame for someone who isn't really that famous. i still hate the cutoff at the end bc. cmon man. 7/10

real super dark - ok i did like the gilbert gottfried inspired melody i think that's fun actually. the song lyrics? uhhhhhh. just more complaining. if you have listened to any of the albums since fandom you are not missing much there other than the otto serial killer jokes he has inserted here? which is a choice i guess. instrumental is great tho. i feel incredibly stupid listening to a lot of the other parts of the song tho. 7/10

funeral grey - god i can't bear listening to this one on my own i'm sorry. live it's fine, but the studio recording i would rather kill myself than listen to again. IT'S SO ANNOYING. the terrible overenunciated vocals. awsten's attempt at humor by writing these wattpad fic lyrics that make me cringe to my core because i know there's a part of him being genuine. the one direction ripoff hook because he managed to get one of 1d's actual songwriters to help write the track. the only saving grace is the ending but at that point it's too late for any redemption. 2/10

brainwashed - ironically this was written with the 1d guy again and. i'm actually fine with this one LOL. it's simple and lowkey so it's considerably less annoying than funeral grey. considering awsten said the lyrics on this album were hypersexual, but it's 2023 so this is fairly tame, it just makes me wonder how much he has repressed in his psyche. 6/10

2 best friends - ok now we're back to simple annoying. if you tune out the lyrics enough, it sounds like disney channel filler music. but it's actually about ~~sExxxx~~ hahahahaha everything about this album so far is like reading fanfics clearly written by middle schoolers. awsten's sad about his situationship so he goes out with his 2 best friends to forget but it doesn't work :( but he could just fuck his friends bc it wouldn't hurt to try at this point. hey what if this was what the song was actually about that because in travis' insane songfic he made jawn and awsten hook up during this chapter #neverforget #riptravisficeventhoughmebitchingontumblrmadehimkillit 4/10

end of the water (feel) - hearing awsten try to hit those high notes reminded me of people saying brendon straining on his high notes on the last panic tour was like hearing a dog that needed to be shot out back for its own good. this is very obviously a charlie puth ripoff to the t because not only does he hit high notes that no man should ever reach, but i'm pretty sure the verse instrumentals rip off "light switch" by charlie. anyways more of "ughhhhh i'm not getting a text backkkkkk" that makes me want to throw awsten's phone into the pacific. i still don't know why kurtis conner is here and how this is supposed to relate to any of this at all. also actually now that i'm crossing checking the genius pages for these, the descriptions for these songs make them sound much better than they actually are lol. 3/10

self-sabotage - this one is mid on it's own but funny because i remember the amount of twitter discourse this song has spawned. "awsten's being toxic and misogynistic" did we not listen to some of the songs off fandom "awsten has bpd" what if he just sucks sometimes. the memories of this are more memorable than the song itself. 5/10

ritual - remember when i found out the soundbyte at the beginning was from an aids psa. good times. fine song other than the shoehorned soundbyte. the entire song is just a repetition of the verses and chorus like a ~~ritual~~ spooky! i like the flair vincente void adds with his screams i feel like this feature makes more sense because it's a song about protecting yourself from the doctrines of religion that harmed you when you were growing up and apparently vincente has known awsten since he was 13???? only thing i hate is the corpse ripoff ending so much so that i have a personal version where i edited that out. 8/10

fuck about it - BORINGGGGGG OH MY GODD. if you've heard one blackbear feature, congrats you've heard them all because they all sound the same and blackbear adds no energy whatsoever. he made a bayside instrumental sound boring you really can't underestimate him. anyways back to the song itself; the situationship has dissolved into pure sex and disinterest and annoyance outside of that and with the way awsten sounds like he plans having hate sex, i don't think he's ever had hate sex before. there's the ending synth i think is fun and that's the only reason this gets a point at all. 1/10

closer - it's a sweet song but um. haven't we heard this in a way before? *cough cough 21 questions* i think this is the closest (lol) parx comes to at a return to pre-fandom form, but when i listen to the chords too much i'm just like "did he lowkey rip off that one smashing pumpkins song". anyways it's just about needing to be closer to someone or ending the relationship completely. simple but effective but not nearly as effective as 21 questions for me sorry. 7/10

a night out on earth - ok i had physical tickets to the last tour bc i won them on idobi so i was like "THIS SONG BETTER BE AT LEAST DECENT BC I STILL HANG UP THE TICKET WITH THIS NAME" and it was at the least. it's like. a good waterparks song, but i feel like i've heard it already? my mind goes back to see you in the future but for these i can't tell who's ripping off who more lol. yeah i feel like other than some interesting production here and there it's a rehash of shit we already heard before. shoehorned religious lyric. fake ass band guys. "i turn my agony into songs and people only like when i'm hurt". "i've been dead since 2016" (part two). "i'm evil now. idgaf. wat ever."

and then i think the part that makes me go awwww but also confuses me is the im a natural blue radio interview snippet? like why does this all tie in together now. geoff's not even here bro how is this the only release where otto's the only one namedropped when awsten hasn't even named dropped him until last album. 80% the album is about some random relationship how is this supposed to tie into all of these.

idk i feel like i've just had this on my mind when when of my mutuals made their own analysis on awsten's mindsets towards life and said how he uses fear as motivation but his perfectionism keeps him from using failure as an editor and how this song was the peak example of this; the rehash of the same ideas over and over because despite his stubbornness, despite "ultimately -not- giving in to the perception that you’re worth ‘Demonizing'", he never confronts the problem for real, just compartmentalizes the problem away and doesn't truly overcome the root of his problems. that's what i feel like manifests in this album for me to be put off by it at its core. nothing ever changes, he just finds a new situation to complain at. maybe that's also why his fans never change even as new ones come though. maybe that's why we also stay stagnant in this with him.

again i get it, he's a public figure; if he did dive too deep into this and didn't choose to generalize the lyrics for his own sake, he would probably end up incriminating himself way too much and have a hard time performing some of these songs. but i can't help but wonder. if he's truly getting over a mental obstacle like that, or keeps himself so set on the future that he ignores the problems he never solved. like he always does. like he always seems to be doomed to. anyways, 7/10 song.

all in all, it's an album that tries to reach a concept of coming to terms with your sexuality and religious trauma all entwined in fame but in reality it's mostly just about a sucky situationship and awsten complaining again while putting in random religious references sometimes and the beginning and ending are about fame. my hot takes are: tennis imagery = gay sex, there's not enough of a distinction between "soulsucker" and awsten to make "album lore" when the overarching concept of parx's discography is "awsten's life sucks", and darth vader is luke's father. - iz

#i hope you liked this one anon and i hope it explains or relates to any other longtime fan's thoughts on the album #track by track

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daincrediblegg · 1 year

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okay your turn if nobody else has asked: TOP FIVE JH CHARACTERS GO

... girl... how does one choose? how does one??? when there are so many beautiful boys??? ok. OK I'll give it a shot.

5. Captain Crow - The Sea Beast This film is just incredible on every front. One of my favorite concept artists worked on it (which I did not know until a few weeks ago but now that I know I feel like kicking myself because I REALLY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THEIR STYLE WELL ENOUGH BY NOW). But I remember watching this, and screaming when the credits began to roll because WAIT?!?!?! THAT WAS JARED HARRIS??? OH!!! WHAT A DELIGHT!!! I LOVE THAT GUY!!!! (oh babygirl wait a few months it's gonna hit you so bad). He's great. I hope we see more of him in the sequel that would be great for me.

4. Hari Seldon Honestly. What a little shit. "But Egg," you might ask "If he's such a little shit why is he on here?" well. He's hot. Really I am not over how hot this dude is. I know I couldn't fix him not in a million years. But idk. Something about him always makes my brain go brrr. So he's on here. Also I just love how fucking atypically written this show is and I have a wee soft spot for asimov. They didn't have to cast Jared as Hari and make him unbelievably hot. But they did. And he's so enigmatic. I love that.

3. John Lennon Egg's love for Jared Harris Origins. I was a Beatles girlie, ok? I'm not ashamed to admit that. It was my introductory fandom experience at the ripe old age of baby, and I really ate it up. I remember going into this movie being like "oh it's some dumb TV movie about John and Paul how good can it be?" Very good, as it turns out. And having assigned myself a John Lennon girlie I literally could never get over this depiction. The mannerisms, the fucking tripped-out way he philosophizes in conversation, the softness, and ofc the old friends tension. Jared got it all. Of course I'd seen him in stuff here and there, but this was the one that cemented him as a beloved actor in my mind for me (I literally re-wound the kiss scene as well like 20 times don't judge me but that awakened some stuff in me). Been following him ever since.

2. Lane Pryce - Mad Men This dude broke me for real. I didn't get into Mad Men until college, and binged it all on my friend's hulu account. And lemme tell ya. Did NOT see his final episode coming. Did not. And it made me genuinely weep. He was a highlight in the show. He was one of the only guys I could actually say is a good dude in that show, and he deserved so much better than he got in the end. I look at him and I'm just like... leave ur wife. Leave your job. Lets just go out of this capitalistic hellscape. I want to make him Well. I will love him forever for how he just completely destroyed me.

1.Francis Crozier / Valery Legasov - HA! you thought I was not going to tie them? WRONG! I can't keep these bad bitches apart.

Francis really needs no explanation at this point. I am so actually genuinely in love with him I'm writing a whole ass gothic romance novel of a fic for him, as you all know (and which has summarily turned out a BANGER of a modern AU as well). I made a bloody self-insert oc for him. Gothic Cinema is literally my favorite genre and Francis is the most Gothic Hero of all time, honestly (well besides Valery obviously). The serotonin he continually gives me makes my meds redundant. He is my sweet husband who I love with my whole life and that's that.

And Valery? sorry you can't put a babygirl of a man like that in front of me and not expect that I would want to jump his bones like? Not only is the constant existential dread relatable, but as much as people tell him he's not brave, he IS without a doubt, and honestly, just by virtue of uttering the most iconic logline ever fucking created he deserves this spot on this list. Both of these dudes make my soul ascend in a certain way not just with how brilliantly they were written, but with how incredibly Jared executed them (for which I want to kill the academy for not giving him awards on either). Top Beloveds forever and ever and ever amen.

#ask games #top 5 #jared harris #ofc there's a secret sixth one that only cherry knows about but it's ok y'all don't have to know #shout out to moriarty as well he was technically my first proper JH introduction before JL but #there wasn't room I'm so sorry y'all #I love him tho a lot wait I have regrets but I'm too tired to fix and debate with myself on this list anymore

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belzrgr · 8 months

Text

Picrew Link

No, cause I actually thought of a one piece OC just so I can insert a part of myself into the story and have an easier time fantasizing about meeting my faves and having them like me uh huh, yeah...

Info under the cut cuz it's not finished and I can change it easier that way too

Name: Lorcan

Age: ~22

Pronouns: he/him

Gender: male

Fighting style: dual daggers, he's very agile, fast and quiet, ranger & assassin style, lacking a bit in strength compared to the others

Affilliation: Pirate, without crew

Personality traits: quiet, indecisive, insecure in social interaction, confident in his own views, protective, self-sacrificing, resilient, gentle

Moral Compass: fine with killing, dislikes torture, fights those taking advantage of or hurting anyone weaker than them

Clothes: white ruffle shirt, tattered dark Grey slacks, barefoot (bandaged by someone else), golden skull earring, black fingerless gloves, golden snake bites

Physical traits: icey blue eyes, aquamarine blue hair - medium short with bangs and longer in the back put together in a low ponytail, light skin tone, tattoo on his left upper arm - all black lines; sea rose with a snake winding around it

I want him to be like a quiet, ghostlike character who is used to repressing his emotions and doing what he needs to survive. Being very cold and maybe a bit intimidating towards common people but in fact very gentle and kind, he just doesn't want to show it in fear of getting hurt and over time sort of forgot how he would act kind anyway. Like a small but deadly viper, though he isn't a devil fruit user. In fact he loves going swimming and is very nimble in the water too. There's a very soft and vulnerable side to him that he keeps hidden but can be brought forth slightly with cute things like stuffed animals or slowly but surely through genuine kindness and care. He hates it because when he realises he is warming up to someone he starts to panic and others being gentle with him makes him cry once he has gotten attached to them. To him, this means he is weaker, more vulnerable and that makes him freak out and want to run away in fear, in panic. I think Luffy and the rest would be a great crew to make him realise that it's alright to feel, to be taken care of, to be a bit weaker, to be vulnerable. It would take a while but he would end up very loyal, looking up to Luffy. Once he has warmed up, he's still pretty quiet but little jokes and teasing comes out of his mouth here and there, soft smiles appear more and more often, he looks more relaxed and he's a lot more physically affectionate. Randomly hugging others or clinging to them, though of course only those he is close too and who are ok with it.

#Dumping thoughts #Oc #One piece oc #Lorcan

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autumnslance · 11 days

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I have a question! How do you get over a fear of writing and creating a character? I try to write but I start feeling anxious. My brain doesn’t want to come up with anything. Even trying to imagine a character in another series causes the anxiety. I know I should stop but I don’t like the idea of stopping as I feel like I’m failing.

Is it the creation, or the potentially sharing with others, that's actually scary? Is it what others may say? Is it feeling like what you might come up with isn't "good enough" in some way? Is it fear of a self-insert, or of being derivative? Feeling like you have to create characters and stories to be in fandom, rather than wanting to create for the sake of it?

A lot of times, it's our fear of how others might react or think that stops us. We're afraid of looking dumb, or oblivious, or otherwise Incorrect in some way, and that we'll be ridiculed or scorned for it. We're taught to fear failure and the judgment we think comes with it.

It's easy to say "kill the cop in your head" and "screw what others think, create for yourself" but it IS hard, if it's a point we want to even get to for ourselves.

So figure out what part of the process actually is scary. I guarantee it's not actually "all of it!" There's at least a ranking of "scariest" to "least scary but still nerve-wracking". Once named and acknowledged, and broken down, it's a little easier to tackle.

I made up stories and characters in my own head for years before I ever shared them with anyone. A teacher singling out my and another student's stories as meeting the mark of an assignment in completely opposite ways helped. Screwing up the courage to post to my high school's nascent lit journal was hard.

I was terrified. I was one of the weird kids constantly bullied or ignored. If people knew who I was, they didn't like me cuz I was awkward and unsociable. But I wanted to write, and adults I trusted who read the few things I actually turned in told me I was decent at it, so I did it scared anyway.

And nothing bad happened. Some folks thought my stories were OK. If they said anything at all.

It took me several years before I was able to post anything online. Some was access. Some was fear. Some was feeling like I didn't have characters or stories to share. I got into roleplay, online and in person. My characters were...well, LynMars, my usual handle, is from a Vampire LARP character I played over 20 years ago, and made a lot of baby roleplayer mistakes on. I did her dirty in many ways. She wasn't a good character. Had a basic screwed up backstory but no real goals or plans. I played her for a few years and learned a lot from her, and so she's stuck with me as a reminder.

Several of my characters from those days weren't great; unimaginative, derivative, some very much "wow I did not know better back then..." But...we had stupid goofy RP fun anyway, learned from those characters and each other, tried new things. Sometimes they worked. Sometimes they didn't. A lot of times it was nerve-wracking.

There's a lot I write that I don't post. Some because it isn't ready yet. Some because I'm not ready and don't know that I ever will be. It's scary. And some of that is the bully still in my head, and I know it, and some days that's easier to deal with than others. Some days I can tell the bully to screw off. Sometimes I keep those stories private, I tell myself as indulgences.

I give myself the grace to fail, and remind myself that doing it scared anyway is where many of us live every day.

Anxiety sucks. Even with meds and therapy, it doesn't entirely go away. Figuring out how to work around it, or through it, or even wrangle it into submission and work for oneself, is tricky and individual. But it doesn't own or define you and your creativity.

Start small. Start simple. Start for yourself and don't worry about sharing it yet. If making up a new character is hard, find a favorite canon character, marinate and rotate that blorbo in your brain awhile, then file the serial numbers off as you imagine them in What Ifs and AUs. Share only if and when you're ready, if it's a thing you want to actually do.

And you may not. You don't have to create anything to be part of fandom. You don't have to have OCs with full backstories and planned futures. You don't have to write or draw or screenshot stories. You can just vibe.

Find why you want/need to create. How much it means to you. Isolate what parts of creation and/or sharing are so scary. Figure out if it's something you personally truly want or need. Then you'll be able to chart your path forward, one way or another.

#lyn prompts #blogging #about me #rambling #not sure if this is helpful #cuz I'm not sure I'll ever stop feeling scared of creating myself #I do it cuz I gotta & that's just a bit stronger than the fears

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zooophagous · 1 year

Text

Strauss draped himself across the back row of seats in the SUV. Sitting normally was uncomfortable. No doubt being struck by the car broke a hip or a coccyx in addition to the femur. It also hurt to breathe, no doubt on account of broken ribs from receiving CPR, so he didn't. He folded himself into a pile of misery in the dark cab and folded his arms in annoyance as Troy began to navigate home.

"So, now that we're all here and settled, anyone mind explaining to me what the fuck happened tonight?" Troy glanced at Sam in the passenger's seat, and into the rear view mirror to look at Strauss.

"Sylvain has come back." Strauss replied flatly.

"What?!"

"It's actually not the first time I've had the pleasure of making her acquaintance." Strauss curled his lip in anger as he replied.

"Wait, you've met her before? And she threw you in front of a car? What did... why did she do that? What does she want?"

"She seems to be under the impression that she can convince me to cut ties with the Institute and become a free agent, like herself. For what purpose, I don't know. I have never talked to her long enough to find out. She insists it is for my benefit."

"Your benefit by getting you hit by a car?"

"That was actually my doing. She was trying to throw HIM in front of the car." Strauss pointed at Sam, who stared silently out of the window in apparent shock.

"Why did she try to kill Sam?"

"He was interrupting her. She told him to fling himself into the road, and he did. I had to go stop him." His eyes twinkled angrily in the dark. "A thank you would be nice."

"Thanks." Sam replied weakly, looking rather sick. "I guess we can call it even now for the biting thing huh."

"Even?" Strauss' tone began to rise as he spoke.

"This is no superficial bite wound. Do you have any idea what happened back there? That woman was going to kill you. You inserted yourself in a conversation that did not concern you and caught the worst of it and because of you I have managed to shatter my skeleton, again. I'll be forced back into bed rest. I LOATHE bed rest. Troy was dragged into it as well, potentially into the line of fire, and it was entirely your fault."

"Hey, hey, buddy calm down. This wasn't anyone's fault but Sylvain's." Troy tried to defuse the situation. Strauss wasn't finished.

"I've never seen someone jump to a psychic command so fearlessly either. You could have fought off her suggestions if you put up even a slight defense and you completely failed by every measure. What was that? Do you lack will entirely? Are you a fool?"

"Enough!" Sam yelled in reply.

"I'm... I'm sorry, ok? Obviously I wouldn't have fucked with her if I knew what was going on. It's not like anyone here TOLD me what was going on. I was walking into it blind. As far as her telling me to... to kill myself. I've strugged with ideation for a long time, ok? A lot of days I already want to do it. Having a strong voice telling you to is easy to listen to, ok?"

Strauss fell silent. Troy reached over for Sam's hand.

"Sam... I'm sorry. I had no idea. You seem so well adjusted."

"I have to fake it. Not like I can work in security and carry a weapon if people know about it."

"I apologize." Strauss said quietly.

"You are correct. The truth has been concealed from you. Expecting you to perform perfectly without preparation is not fair. You are not a fool, it is just..."

He grunted and adjusted his position uncomfortably.

"It is just I am now beginning to feel the pain of my injuries, and I am still very worried that she will return and I will not be able to stop her a second time."

"Return? We're in a car. Is she following us?"

"She doesn't need a car. She can catch up to us easily if she feels like it."

"I see." Sam swallowed hard and looked back out the window. He held onto Troy's free hand like a life line.

"The hospital you guys live in... it's not a hospital for normal people with normal sicknesses is it?"

"No, Sam." Strauss sighed heavily.

"The truth is, Sam. I am dead, and I have been for a very long time. I am what your culture refers to as a 'vampire,' and so is Sylvain, the woman who attacked you."

"I see. That explains the uh... the uh..."

"The biting. Yes."

"What about you, Troy?"

Sam turned to face his beau. "Are you one of these vampires too?"

"No. No it's different for me. I've still got a pulse." He bit his lip.

"I didn't want to tell you earlier because... well number one it sounds like bullshit." Troy chuckled nervously.

"And number two I just didn't want you to like... if you believed me even, I didn't want you to be afraid of me."

"What are you?"

"Lycanthrope."

"Oh. Of course." Sam rubbed his temples and shut his eyes tight. "I'm not going to like... catch it am I? From either of you?"

"No. What Troy is, he was born into. And what I am is not a burden I would place onto you. Not even if you asked. You cannot pick it up in the air like a common virus." Strauss waved his claw dismissively.

"This is kind of a lot to take in." Sam let out a nervous laugh.

"Just my luck, getting mixed up in this. I hate this city, man. I gotta get out of here."

"I guess it sort of makes it weird." Troy said sadly.

"It sort of does. I don't know how to deal with all of this, Troy. I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I'll drop you off at home. I won't call again."

"Coward." Strauss spat from the back seat.

Sam turned to look at him. "What did you call me?"

"A coward." He repeated, looking up at him with a baleful, glowing stare.

"This being before you has told you one of his most treasured secrets. A fatal secret. And now when you see the soft underbelly of the werewolf exposed, you shrink and whine. As if the man you cared for is gone now. Life has become strange so you choose to leave it instead of navigate it."

He sneered with his fangs exposed. "Coward."

Sam raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"You know, before tonight, I didn't think I'd hear talk that big coming from you."

"I was trying to be nice to you before. I wished to be in your good graces, because Troy loves you, and Troy is my friend. I had wronged you, and I wanted your forgiveness. Now I do not care if I have it or not. If I have kept your head attached to your neck I have done more than what I owe to you."

"Well excuse me but this IS kind of a lot! I mean what else is real if vampires and werewolves and shit is real? Aren't vampires evil? Aren't you like some kind of demon?"

"Disrespect me again and I will throw you into traffic myself."

"Eesh, ok, sorry, sorry, noted."

"Strauss it's ok." Troy replied shakily, obviously fighting back tears. "If Sylvain is around it's probably not safe to have human visitors at the Institute anyway. We have to get you to the infirmary. This isn't important right now."

He sounded very much like he was trying to convince himself and not Strauss.

"Fine. I will find something else to take my frustrations out on. I would like my dinner and a morphine drip. Sooner, rather than later, if you please."

"I'm driving as fast as I can. It's icy out."

They turned down a dark residential street and came to a stop at the corner.

"Here. It's probably best you get out and walk. If Sylvain is following the car I don't want her to follow you home. Just in case."

"You sure she won't just follow me on foot?"

"It is me she wants." Strauss replied. "You were simply in the way. Keep your head down and walk home and do not call attention to yourself. It is probably best you do not spend a lot of time out at night for the time being. I am sure I do not need to warn you not to engage her if you see her."

"What do I do if she comes after me?"

"If she comes after you, you will die. I doubt she will be deterred by simple tools. I will ask security if someone can watch your home. Is that agreeable?"

"My roommates might not like it much."

"They won't like being murdered much either. It is not pleasant. I would know."

"Right." Sam paled and got out of the car.

"Troy?"

"Yeah Sammy?"

"I just want to say... I really like spending time with you. Good luck. Hit me up when this blows over?"

Troy smiled a weary smile.

"If I make it out alive? Drinks on me."

#writing #wayward souls

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mxddyhero · 1 year

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oh ok more juju questions do you have any juza moments/thingies that you dislike?

YES. not necessarily his fault but I don't like how him wanting to do more traditionally "feminine" things like wear skirts/dresses or wearing makeup is played up for laughs when yuki is Right There and most of the other guys have done the exact same thing. I don't think it's unreasonable for certain people to express discomfort if they're made to do that kinda thing if they don't want to, but Juza has clearly expressed interest in it and rather than have the support the rest of mankai has, he's always immediately shut down.

Usually it's banri, but at some point I want yuki or taichi to encourage him to go for it and really hype him up, yk? Gender is fluid and personal and there is literally no excuse for it to be treated as a gag in a game where there's so much lgbtq+ coding. Juko was a fun little thing, but it was clearly an act and I don't think he should have to act like a stereotypical girl if that's not how he's comfortable, but let him do the other stuff, yk? They literally have a tailor and professional makeup artist, they can SURELY make it tasteful. They have the power to do it. They're just choosing not to and the day they actually let him do it without snide comments or making it a joke is the day I ascend.

If I could kill whoever was responsible for this... /hj

ALSO /nbh but I hate how people just see him as. Half of a ship. He is such a nuanced, brilliant character but some people treat him as just a blank insert to go with whoever they wanna pair him with. I like ships well enough, hell im a juban enthusiast, but when people are erasing chunks of personality and ignoring aspects of his character just to slot him into a ship it makes me 😐 so many people write him as just a himbo but he !! Has so much more to him and I don't think it's fair to him.

Also, censoring for myself later ✌️

I fucking hate the brocon shit. It makes me so fucking uncomfortable and that's why I have the other hy*do muted and filtered I do not like him or his character at all sorry. I was so excited to meet the rookies bcs i hadnt read up on them before they debuted, i just was vaguely aware of them through fanon yk? And i was ESPECIALLY excited for him and sure he was gonna be my fave, but when they pulled that shit, I dipped ✌️ He is not real to me, sorry to his fans

#literally none of these r his fault tho 🫶 he is just perfect. to me #asks and answered #beloved mutual #taichissu #juza hyodo #shut up hahn anyway #for filters for future me ->#kumon hyodo

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pascal-oswell · 7 months

Text

20 questions for fic authors

i saw ur tag in the morning when i woke up nessa and then i completely forgot. BUT THANK U FOR THINKING OF ME!!!! i don't really want to tag anyone bc its a bit scary. but eros and duo if u see this... perhaps this might interest u to do it

1. How many fics do you have on ao3?

46 ! and maybe like 20 which existed on ao3 at some point but got deleted by oj for one reason or another.

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

96 365... the oj does not write long things

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mostly project moon these days. and mostly limbus bc (inferno pink grabs me by the throat)

if i didnt feel like it was pointless id probably write for a larger variety of stuff bc the oj brain is full of self insert stuff. but it doesnt rly matter

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

the wine on your skin (137) gonna shrimp myself over that one bc it was my first and probably shittiest smut. but its smut in a large fandom (fire emblem) so it attracted people i guess

yeah dante's fine. what do you mean they're at -45 sanity you're lying (132) IM GLAD PEOPLE LIKED THAT ONE it was a lot of fun. and nice people cared about a dante centric fic with abnos:) (but also still mad as hell over that thing with the guy taking one of the concepts and clearly saying it was from another fic while categorically refusing to actually name it lol)

do NOT wake the manager up. YES they fell asleep on the job but they're REAL comfy right now do NOT disturb them (117) i can't tell if people get attracted by the funny titles or bc they see there are more characters besides faust and dante. bc i know people are NOT coming for them.

i'll always be there (104) a short manuleth fic... im glad there are manuleth likers out there. that professor loves that doctor ok

and they'll fall in love with her again and again (88) people liked the exploration of IDs... its kinda debunked now but it was still fun

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I USUALLY DO unless i find the comment weird. but if its rly weird i usually straight up delete it lol but otherwise i reply to comment if only to thank people for taking the time to leave one. its a tough world out there for attention starved writer

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

id argue the angstiest i have is one of my deleted ones where i straight up killed a char and the fic was all about everyone else's grief it was depressing lol otherwise theres the obvious silver snow edeleth angst but its kinda whatever. the backward clock chapter of the dante abnos fic was rly good imo. the nothing there one too. the inferno pink confession fic too.... ough...

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

SCORCHED GIRL & ANGELA FIC GOT ME FUCKED UP MAN. FOUND FAMILY BETWEEN THE FUCKED UP LITTLE GIRL AND THE ANDROID

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nah. thank god i dont i think id nuke my ao3 on the spot i already explode over weird comment

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i smack my faust and dante dolls together

i used the be rly scared of smut now im a free little oj. it gets horny sometimes but also im rly vanilla so its usually very sweet.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i dont. i should sometime though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

NOT AS FAR AS I KNOW I THINK ID NEVER WRITE AGAIN OTHERWISE

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nay

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no and i dont think i could oj needs to write her thing in peace. art&fic stuff are rly fun though.. oj likes when duo art inspires her or oj text inspires duo...

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

ALL TIME IS A TOUGHIE the ships come and go guys cmon. rn inferno pink is all the rage though. and me with all the ladies i like

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

funnily enough i dont rly have wips bc i only start things when im REALLY motivated and i usually dont write things long enough that id drop them mid way. so none

16. What's your writing strengths?

being straight to the point maybe. idk. i mean my whole style is about short sentences and descriptions and just giving enough to get the feelings and vibes and idk. like i dont spend a paragraph talking about the weather thats not my style.

i like to think im good at sounding like chars too. if its the chars i like at least. or i hope at least. maybe its all in my head.

17. What's your writing weaknesses?

im rly bad at writing things that require more description... stuff that i cant just move on from or write by sprinkling lil actions between dialogues... like say. a fight scene. im rly bad at it

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i mean if the char actually speaks in another language usually and mixes it with the translated language or whatever sure. itd make sense i have no issue with it

19. First fandom you wrote for?

long ago i wrote stuff for shin megami tensei 4. but i think even before that i wrote lil danganronpa drabbles that never got posted anywhere. also technically i wrote a story about vocaloids for an english assignment in middle school. does that count

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

idk if its a favorite but im like. rly fond of "hello doctor, it's me again. i missed you." bc its the fic i probably put the most effort in. longest and multi chapters and like. id started writing it two years prior to when i finished it and id written like. a chapter and a half on paper during breaks in college and never did anything with it. and two years later when i was sorting my stuff i had these papers and wanted to throw them away so i was like ill type this out on puter at least before that. and then i ended up motivating myself to finish it and i was rly proud of it... oj is still rly sad it didnt get that much attention in the end.

otherwise oj rly likes her angela & abno fics:) shes happy with them. and also stuff ive written for duo! i think its cute and i had a lot of fun with them

#blabla #ask meme #kinda? not rly. but you get my point

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