gay little Paul georp !!!!!

A Touch of Magic season 1 was...um........

Initial thoughts below

Peggy's name is stupid. Thanks Chelsea.

I forgot how much I hate the super bright colors of DA

We still don't get to see Ken's parents. Of course.

Stupid ugly dragon that somehow looks worse than the ones we got all the way back in 2002. Slyder does not count; he is a flying serpent and not a dragon

Arrrlene!!! She's magic?! OH MY GOD

Weirdly enough, Peggy appears to be the one character that does the least until the end. She's more of a plot device than an actual character.

The fact that Skipper immediately embraces the fake reality where she is the oldest was one of the most frustrating things. You literally JUST had character development to prove yourself to Barbie and she finally understood but now you're gonna regress?? Skipper do you really just hate your sister now? I mean I get it; Skipper needs to learn that it's just as hard for Barbie since she's the oldest, but it felt so out of order.

HOW DARE YOU PLAY WITH THE HEARTS OF KARBIE SHIPPERS. We wasted a WHOLE EPISODE where they finally admit they want to be more than friends, only to make them forget at the very end. (That entire episode actually was a waste). Epic Road Trip is the true end of the "main timeline" and you can pry it from my cold dead hands.

Diversity win! The first possibly canon sapphic character in a Barbie property is some rando shopkeeper who never appears again and whose name is only seen in the subtitles! Supposedly, it's Lya, but the Netflix subs can be wrong a lot so I don't even know if we can rely on that. And I'm almost positive she's the first sapphic character but let me know if im wrong.

Lizard Wizard. I just...okay then.

"Malibu" Barbie becomes the chosen one and is the super important hero while "Brooklyn" Barbie takes a back seat. Because of course.

It is interesting, however, what Barbie actually is. Apparently she is the key that connects their world to the magical world because she believes in magic so strongly. Theories forming...

Trey's gets character development again...sorta. It will probably be reset again though so I don't care anymore

All of Malibu's other friends besides Teresa are completely written out this season. We see them briefly at like maybe 2 points but Teresa is the only one that actually gets to stick around do something.

The mermaids are canon to the magical world of Mesmer. Does that mean the mermaid city in Mermaid Power is part of Mesmer??

We actually don't get to see that much of Mesmer and it kinda sucks, but S2 might change that.

Possibly evil unicorn/pegasus tease? Not sure.

Well that was....something

And I swear to god if Karbie isnt canon next season I think I will burst

Loving Yamada Lv 999 Review

Includes Spoilers....

So I went into this show knowing it was going to be different than most which I was happy. Most don't feel as real for me more fantasy but this was one that hit close to home to me. I have in the past met a guy that brought me into mmo world who later cheated on me and left me for the girl he met online, this I can relate completely with Akane for this. Not gonna lie her ex is attractive but such a asshole especially in how he broke up with her like he had already been seeing the girl. Worst part is its bad when a guy cheats on you but bro seriously what the fuck why is chick ugly as shit... see what I mean below.

Like seriously what the fuck he is one stupid MF thats all I got to say. Akane is beautiful and he was too blind to see it. Not to mention as you get to know Akane you realize she is a sweet girl maybe Takuma just didn't bring that out in her I don't know but I'm glad Yamada ends up being the guy she is with. I also think its funny when Takuma finds Yamada at her apartment like the realization the man he stalks on social media as a gamer is in his mind fuckin his ex lmao priceless. Now Yamada is actually kind of funny with how he says things at times the no care attitude but you can tell its cause he has never let anyone really effect him. So when she starts getting to him with little things she does its sweet watching them fall in love. It is I guess somewhat of slow burn due to his Kuudere personality however it is just the sweetest watching him change. Like from running after her, or giving her his umbrella and even calling out her name in the middle of the hallway. Like dude is sexy in his own way. So sweet when he takes care of her when she is sick like by her bedside care.

Then there is the way he looks at her like seriously you can tell when he falls for her even before its even said. From the firs time he looks at her til later til the last picture his look changes so much in how he feels. His smile is full of love and contentment by the end I love that gentle side of him.

Then there is that epic ending where he tells her he really likes her, I say like because its weird in the Japanese version Suki da 好きだ is said which in the Japanese language means both I like you and I love you if its someone you feel something for that is intimate. that being said he practically said he loved her however in English language we dumbed it down to just I like you which I hate. I saw this because I originally watched in English but watched the last 2 episodes in Japanese before it was dubbed and I thought was sweeter in Japanese for that reason. That smile he gives though when she asks him if he likes her omg he has a really nice smile.

The way he holds her hand is so delicate how he held her when she was upset. I mean yes he may not be the most skilled in what to do but I think Yamada did a good job being there for the best way he knew to. He was there when she was drunk or when she just needs a shoulder to cry on he is always the one there to take care of her.

Then there is the girl he let down he even did that nicely. Like he was soft and gentle and just didn't dismissed how she felt, he let her tell him everything she needed to then admitted his heart was with Akane. I respect him for how he handled this he really is that genuine guy that I think someone like Akane needs in her life after the shit she has dealt with.

Honestly all in all I think its a really good anime with alot of heart to it. Has good characters and most are very relatable. I think Yamada needed her in his life more than he even knew and she definitely needed him. I hope there is another season but I do plan to read the manga as well. Hope yall give it a chance and love it as much as I do.

Who actually has sex with a prostitute and who “Holden Caulfield”s with them out of like your main bitches

ive never read catcher and the rye and had to like deep analyze this ask with mein friends to understand it but i think i get it now. SO!

italy - he has a divine mission given to him by god to have sex with as many people as humanly possible on this planet before he dies. theres no other possible explanation to why he has such good bed game. anyways hes forsaken this mission because he loves his ugly husband more than god (and now hes hastag LOYAL because germany got him addicted to that true love cocaine)

germany - LITERALLY WOULD NEVER EVER HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE UNLESS HE IS MARRYING THEM FOR TRUE LOVE. my boy does not do sex without love he learned from prussia that if you have sex before you are married and love someone forever then your eyes will fall out and you will die and go to hell. bro is a giga virgin he aint even had his first kiss on the mouf before italy lawl (to be fair bc italy is also his first and only lover ever)

romano - he actually has tried sex with prostitutes before but see romano is a faggot who refuses to admit hes a faggot. like he only shoots for women but hes gay and it just doesnt work yknow and its not like he has internalized homophobia either its more hes just a fucking idiot. like he genuinely thinks he loves women its just he has a weird relationship with them because he kind of sees women as like the idea of "soft girl nice smells good must be gentlemanly and polite" and he is gentlemanly and polite and sweet to girls but its because theyre sort of alien to him because of this mindset you feel me? he loves women but its because he has an idea of them as if theyre another species in a way and not in that misogyny way its more just... lack of experience and being with girls and only hearing about them. so romano is too stupid to realize that he should be hiring male prostitutes to fuck and ends up getting humiliated by a girl prostitute one time and deciding hes never doing that shit ever again. i think romano is a virgin who has never banged anyone until he dates and fucks prussia because he keeps failing at getting girls n shit and never aims at guys because he hates everyone. but if he could he would bang bitches. virgin not by choice so hes a technical incel! 😄 involuntarily celibate !!!!

prussia - he ABSOLUTELY. believes in sex with love. hands down. see prussia constantly says he wants bitches and shoots for bitches but its because in his heart he knows hes going to fail. like if he ever actually scored a hoe he would get really awkward and be like w-what? and then get scared and run away while insisting hes not running away. he is not meant to ever get bitches and if he did get one hed fumble as fuck immediately. he genuinely believes in having sex with the person you love most in da world and obviously drilled that into germanys head too but he would never yell this shit from the rooftops bc its kinda gay and all. i think he gave his virginity to frederick but thats because i think frederick was prussias first lover ever and a genuine true love of his. i think if he could he wouldve married frederick but i think frederick turned down his proposal because he knew he would die and leave prussia alone and prussia would be too loyal from the bonds of marriage to ever go out and find a new love after he would pass away. but yeah i think prussia only bangs people if theyre his one true love.

- benson regular show doesnt do prostitutes hes too busy risking his life (against his will) for a video game flavored milkshake

Love your HCs <3!!! And your art!!!!!!!! Le Question: is Romano 99.99999% straight like Veneziano? What's his sexuality journey like? If you don't mind sharing your thoughts. Is it as weird as Veneziano's pre school BF then pussy for a millennium. Thank youu

FIRST) THANK YOUU MANAJW i always feel surprised when i remember it isnt just me and my 3 friends on da world wide web that like my stuff <:') ARIGATO! FROM ME! *points at me* TO YOU! *points at you*

Anyways now SECOND) i think romano knows he likes girls and actually is nice to them and tries to rizz them its just hes cringe fail so i actually think hes a total virgin whos never dated anyone ever bc hes so aids. i think he doesnt really see guys as an option not because of sexuality but more because hes too busy trying to catch a girl he aint even got TIME to think about other fish types we go one type at a time. like when he goes i would never date anyone in the g8 its not because theyre boys its because "theyre stupid and annoying and ugly and should kill themselves and one of them is my fucking brother" romano is a boy kisser its just that never gets addressed because he hates all the men around him too much. i also think he kinda likes the idea of a girl more than actually dating a girl because 1) he doesnt take into account that girls actually can fart (60% why he thinks theyre so angelic and wunderbar) and 2) he desperately wants to be popular asf like italy so hes like ITALY BANGS CHICKS EVERYDAY SO OBVIOUSLY THERES GOTTA BE SOME SECRET SAUCE IN THERE. but i think he never in his life ends up dating a girl because they all reject his ass bc he fumbles so hard and then prussia activates his yandere gene and he gets loyal asf (but still demented and terrible. basically nothing changes other than him no longer hitting on girls) so woooooo I THINK THE LABLE HE USES IS "normal" (he is anything except normal)

*read tags if u wanna see why i changed my mind. actually romano uses da lable

**drumrolllllll**

BISEXUAL! **judge gavel slams down**

SENTENCE: 10 THOUSAND HOT POCKETS!

part 3 of Strange Creatures Brothers Be (aka WWX & NMJ sworn brothers) - part 1, part 2

-

The few days it took for the Wen sect to arrive at the Nightless City counted as among the worst in Wei Wuxian’s life, right alongside the destruction of the Lotus Pier and the continuous agony of that one night and two days on a bare Yiling peak, watching as the cultivation he’d worked so hard to nurture was taken away forever.

Each day, they moved slowly in their caravan, and he followed behind them; each night, he heard screams of agony coming from their camp and thought it might be Nie Mingjue making them.

Each night, the Stygian Tiger Seal pulsed at his breast, resentful energy thick and black and tasting of tar; each night, Wei Wuxian thought: not yet.

The common roads used by all were cleansed of resentful spirits on a regular basis – even with the seal, he might not be able to summon enough of them to defeat the Wen sect’s forces. Not these ones: these were the soldiers Wen Ruohan prized the most, cultivated the most; they were powerful and dangerous, and Wei Wuxian would only ever have one shot at a rescue attempt. If he tried too early, if he wasn’t quick about it, wasn’t smart about it, someone would just cut Nie Mingjue’s throat before Wei Wuxian could get to him.

That was the Wen sect’s way of doing things. Better the other side lose, even if they couldn’t win.

Wei Wuxian had never hated anyone more.

Soon, he promised himself. Soon they would arrive at the Nightless City: the bulk of the army would remain outside, in preparation for any external attack, while the prisoners would be taken inside…and who didn’t know the sort of atrocities Wen Ruohan perpetrated in his Fire Palace?

There would be all the corpses he could want and more.

It was clear that waiting gave him the best chance for victory. It was obvious, even, that Nie Mingjue would prefer to suffer pain now in favor of a successful rescue later, and yet each night Wei Wuxian’s resolve was stretched almost until its breaking point.

Nie Mingjue was suffering – his brother was suffering, his da-ge, the man who’d seen the sorts of atrocities Wei Wuxian had perpetrated, the sort that he could perpetrate, and who’d still chosen to trust him and treat him as the righteous man Wei Wuxian so desperately longed to be. Who’d given him his good name as a shelter from the disdain of the world, who’d shared his sect’s secret history with him, who’d stood beside him…

And Wei Wuxian, who could do something, did nothing.

What sort of indictment of his character was that? He, who thought himself righteous, saw an injustice, an abomination of this magnitude, and did nothing! It was utterly intolerable; he should act at once, free and unrestrained, he should do the impossible just as the Jiang sect always said –

Quicker to anger is quicker to act, but you can’t take an act back once it’s done. If you persist in your path, you will need to be twice as cautious as before.

Wei Wuxian kicked a tree to vent his fury, grimacing as the mild pain in his foot cleared his mind of the rage and fear that clouded it. He was being foolish: the Jiang sect motto said to attempt the impossible, yes, but nowhere did it say that it was advisable to do so without adequate preparation. If you were going to scale a mountain, it wasn’t being weak to first invest in some good shoes and a sturdy rope.

The same principle applied here.

Getting into the Nightless City wasn’t hard at all – elite corps or no, the Wen sect cultivators had been recruited from a myriad of different sects, and they didn’t know each other’s names and faces all that well. Wei Wuxian kept watch at the doctors’ tent, waiting for someone meet their fate; the second they did, he summoned their corpse at once, letting them stand and walk out of the tent.

With the corpse’s eyes averted to avoid anyone seeing that they were white and mindless, Wei Wuxian allowed himself to be seen conversing with them while wearing stolen Wen sect robes. After a few of these, he unleashed the corpse to cause some havoc, ordering it with a whistle to ram itself onto the sword he had stolen – moments later, the other Wen sect cultivators were there, chopping off its head.

“He must have been hiding an injury, and passed away without us knowing it,” the team captain said, and put his hand on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder. “Don’t blame yourself. I know you were friends.”

Wei Wuxian, who’d fallen to his knees with his head bowed, hair covering his face, murmured something in a voice too low to be heard, allowing the pain of the past few days to come to the surface. He covered his face with his hands.

This team captain was inexperienced, newly promoted, and unsure of himself; his predecessor among the Wen sect elites had fallen to Nie Mingjue’s blade, and he himself was suddenly facing the realization that being a talented soldier didn’t mean anything about his capacity to lead men. He shifted from one foot to another, uncomfortable with the blatant display of emotion, and eventually ordered Wei Wuxian to return to the formation.

Wei Wuxian obeyed, kept his head down, and passed successfully through the gate to the Nightless City.

Once inside, he lingered with his formation only long enough to ensure that he wouldn’t be missed, that no alarm would be immediately raised, and then headed towards the Sun Palace, where the prisoners had be taken. He dredged up ancient memories of the archery competition that felt as if it had happened in another life to try to remember where the receiving hall was – there was no doubt in his mind that that was where Nie Mingjue would be.

Wen Ruohan wouldn’t be able to resist seeing his enemy forced to kneel before his throne.

The only question was whether, after that, he would order him to be taken to be tortured, or if he would simply execute him at once –

No, Wei Wuxian couldn’t think that way. He had to find Nie Mingjue before anything like that could happen.

(The Sygian Tiger seal was hot under his robes. There were plenty of corpses around.)

He found a wall and climbed up, hoping to orient himself. Hoping to find –

“– guess how many times Sect Leader Wen will need to slap your saber to break it?”

Wei Wuxian froze, feeling his fingers clench and his head burn with rage, wanting to immediately murder the person who had said such a thing, and in such a slimy, intimate voice, too – who didn’t know how much Nie Mingjue regretted his father’s death? Who didn’t know that this was Nie Mingjue’s sore spot, his bottom line?

There was the sound of a blow, then the wet sound of a bloody cough – “How dare you dirty Sect Leader Wen’s eyes with your actions!” – the sound of a boot against flesh, followed by the sound of a sword shattering.

A sword, and not a saber: from the sound of metal hitting the floor, it was two-sided, not one, and that meant that Nie Mingjue had been pushed too far; he was fighting back.

They were going to kill him!

Wei Wuxian dropped off the wall at once, landing lightly on the ground and running at top speed around the maze that was the interior of the Sun Palace, pulling out Chenqing as he went – running was not conductive to playing, but he didn’t care. Let the song be ugly and wretched, let it be too sharp and too broken, just like he would be if he lost anyone else.

The seal’s power amplified his playing even though he wasn’t actively using it yet, and the corpses beneath the Nightless City began to rise up to his call: there were so many of them, countless numbers; even he hadn’t thought there would be so many. With the seal, he would be able to summon them all –

“Wei-gongzi?”

Wei Wuxian’s head turned in shock, and he even stopped playing for a moment. “Sect Leader Lan? How are you here?”

“I’ve led a combined set of forces to attack the western gate,” Lan Xichen explained, and that made sense: the forces Wei Wuxian was with had come from the southern gate, and the Nightless City was large enough that they wouldn’t cross paths until they came here to the center. “The gate there was left open for us – I have a spy on the inside that’s helping us. He’s going to try to assassinate Wen Ruohan when he’s not expecting it…Wei-gongzi, why are you playing? You can’t summon corpses now – if you interfere before my spy sends the signal…”

Wei Wuxian stared at Lan Xichen. “I don’t care about your stupid signal!” he shouted. “They’re going to kill da-ge!”

Lan Xichen’s eyes widened. “Mingjue-xiong? But he’s at Heijian –”

“No, he’s not; he’s here. He was captured at Yangquang; it was a trap – a trap we went into based on your faulty information, no less! Your spy on the inside, how sure are you of him?”

“I’m certain –”

Wei Wuxian sneered, the resentful energy he’d already summoned up cloaking him; the seal’s resentful energy beating against his chest like another heartbeat. “Well, I’m not.”

He had always known that he would only have one chance to rescue Nie Mingjue – he wasn’t going to risk missing it. He lifted Chenqing to his lips and played.

Lan Xichen’s sword was drawn, but he didn’t turn it against Wei Wuxian the way he’d almost half-expected he would; instead, with a helpless expression, he turned to defend him as the Wen sect finally noticed they were there, rushing against them to stop Wei Wuxian’s playing.

As if a few Wen sect cultivators could stop him when he was using the Stygian Tiger Seal.

The power was unlike anything he’d ever felt before: the Burial Mounds had been like this, full of seething energy, but he hadn’t had the seal then; this time, he was in a place of death, death and murder and torture, dishonorable deaths that could only lead to resentment and regret, and the seal was finally able to fully unleash its true power.

It was a mistake.

Wei Wuxian realized it too late. The resentful energy was like a wild horse refusing to take to the rein; it was like being a child again and trying to control Suibian, except that Suibian had been his, made for him and bound to him with his blood, and it had loved him even before he’d become its master.

The Tiger Seal had no love for him, barely any use for him – except as a vessel.

He couldn’t make his fingers stop moving over the flute, couldn’t stop the resentful energy from filling his heart and lungs; he was summoning too many of the dead and he knew it, they would kill everyone they saw, kill them all, Wen sect and Sunshot Campaign alike – he himself would die, ripped apart by the backlash, and Nie Mingjue would be dead, too, and it would all be for nothing, a victory for the Sunshot Campaign crowned in ash and blood –

Arms wrapped around him from behind.

There was no intent to attack that he detected, or he would have responded; they are firm, unyielding, but not angry. Nie Mingjue’s voice rang in Wei Wuxian’s ear: “Stop it.”

Wei Wuxian wanted to, he did, he longed to stop it, but he couldn’t –

“Wei Wuxian. I know you can do this. Stop it now.”

Wei Wuxian bit his lip, summoning all the frayed parts of his willpower, and – stopped.

It felt as if his heart stopped with it.

Chenqing fell to the floor.

“Well done,” his sworn brother said. “Well done, A-Xian.”

And suddenly his lungs could work again, his heart could beat again; his soul dropped back down into his body. He turned: Nie Mingjue was standing, somehow, body broken and bloody as it was, with Lan Xichen and another man in Wen sect robes – a small man, Nie Huaisang’s height or less, but with a gentle face – not far behind him.

“Da-ge…” Wei Wuxian whispered, his lips and voice cracked and painful. “Da-ge, Wen Ruohan…”

“Wen Ruohan is dead,” Lan Xichen said. “A-Yao killed him before he could kill Mingjue-xiong.”

There was a flicker of anger on Nie Mingjue’s face, but it died quickly. “We need to get the situation stabilized,” he said. “The Wen sect is distracted by the army of fierce corpses – we should retreat and leave them to it, recover our own strength even as theirs is depleted.”

“And leave the Nightless City to the dead? We can’t do that!” Lan Xichen protested. “If we don’t purify the corpses soon, this city will become another Burial Mound!”

“Purification will not be any more or less difficult if it waits a few days for Wei Wuxian and I to heal,” Nie Mingjue argued, implacable – and oh, Wei Wuxian liked that, he liked that they were a group in Nie Mingjue’s mind. It was as it should be: sworn brothers standing together, shoulder-to-shoulder, against all threats, against all comers.

He smiled and closed his eyes, resting his head against Nie Mingjue’s shoulder, utterly depleted by his use of the Stygian Tiger seal. He had faith that Nie Mingjue would win this argument.

“To abandon the living, even our enemies, to the dead goes against all principle –”

“We are not abandoning them,” Nie Mingjue said sharply. “A retreat will enable us to summon reinforcements from the remainder of our forces, which will allow us to avoid unnecessary losses. If any Wen cultivator wishes to seek refuge with us, they will be welcome to become prisoners of war, to be treated in accordance with the law.”

“But –”

The smaller man cleared his throat. “Xichen-xiong, perhaps we should defer to Sect Leader Nie for now; we would not want to aggravate his injuries any further by being – unduly intransigent.”

His voice was intimate and gentle, seeming almost inappropriate in a place of death like this.

Wei Wuxian opened his eyes even as his hands clenched into fists, his knuckles going white with fury.

He knew that voice.

This was the man who’d been torturing Nie Mingjue inside the hall just now.

I have a lot to say and not enough time to say it. It hurts, but ya’ll know what this is about so if you want my full fandom retrospective opinion thing guys, here.

I’ve been following Vivienne’s art and career since I found her on dA in 2009. I’ve basically grown up with her and have a wide range of opinions up and down her collective work. I must stress that I do not know her as a person and no matter how critical I get in my personal time if I somehow met her in real life or converse with her online again (like, back in the day we went back and forth. She was pretty nice to me), I’d be humble and congratulate her for her success.

Critique does not, EVER equate to attacking people.

But

the reason I don’t call myself a VivziePopVivzmind-fan is the exact same as to why I don’t like the proud use of ‘anti’. Let me try and explain -

The vast majority of Viv fans are just that: fans. Viv’s one of their favorite artists and they’re happy for her and obviously defensive when some mouth breather pops into their fan discussion calling her and all of them trash. Quite a lot of the Hazbin fans I know in my circle of friends are all pretty accepting and agree on the problematic notions and implications of her work.

HOWEVER, there’s a vocal minority in the VivziePop fandom that were and still are toxic. Their specific interest in Viv back in the day was toxic...and now that she’s moved on into a successful career I doubt they’ve gone away, considering the things I’ve heard. These people - they’d flood Viv’s comments sections and stuff with messages like they were talking to her when they weren’t and they’d unironically call her a god in a way that feels like gaslighting, ex: “I’ll NEVER be as good as you Viv! My art is just sooooo unpopular oh god you are incredible no one will ever like you as much as meeeee”. It made me uncomfortable. It made me not want to be around her because these people took Viv’s role in their lives so seriously and their demand for her attention...it struck a nerve.

These same fans have been around long enough to see actual shitlords - the likes of Kiwifarms and tapatalk wikis - come in and actually harass Viv. Viv’s been sent revenge porn by sick freaks who think they’re funny and believe she deserves it. No. In my non-name fan bystander opinion, Viv’s got some shit to work on, but no one deserves raperevenge porn. EVER. It was genuinely bad and yes Viv and her base have every reason to NOT TRUST these communities. Unfortunately, when these incidents happened, these particular fans took it upon themselves to gatekeep the fandom and act like Viv’s unofficial guard against any kind of decenting opinion of her, all without her say so.

((to the critics who will be all “but Viv or Faust said THIS to their fans-”, like I said, Viv’s far from perfect but regardless of how much she prolly wanted people to side with her I’m gonna guess that she didn’t want people sending transphobic death threats to DollCreep. Again, and this is coming from a bystander here, I have a feeling Viv knows about some of the toxicity but doesn’t know how/want to address it - which is a conversation all it’s own.))

This particular breed of VivziePop “fan” holds so much toxicity in her fandom(s). They aren’t the only cause, but they’re there. They feel entitled to her attention and her approval. They creep me out. Having spoken to other much-less critical admitted fans of Viv around me, these fans appear to creep everyone else out and put the rest of the fandom on edge. They’re gatekeepers. They’re creeps. Like the bronies and SU fans of yestertodayyears, they know harassment exists and that people have crossed the line - so they think any means is necessary to prevent that is automatically good. I could pile together all the incidents and folks who’ve had bad runs ins with this aftershock of Viv-obsession, but I do have a life of my own and this post is already stupid long so I’ll just list out the biggest examples and provide receipts when asked.

Critical blogs have gotten RAPE and death threats because they don’t like Viv’s art. HonestZoophobiaCriticisms, a blog I interracted with back in the day, def got one. Now Viv’s opinion of crit-blogs is that they’re “bad takes” but I can assure you she doesn’t want that shit being said on her behalf.

I’ve seen young artists get blacklisted from sites and forums cause they so much as post a redesign. Viv and co get told through the grapevine that someone’s making hatespeech and so preemptively block said person (prolly cause they’re in the middle of WORKING and can’t deal right now) only to find out after the fact that no, it was just a kid drawing their version of her characters. There’s serious miscommunication issues within the fandom about who’s ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and once you get the actual staff involved in this game of telephone you’re begging for trouble. The problem acknowledged, however, it’s souly from the “Viv never did anything wrong camp”. No word is said about how ugly the fandom is under the surface it’s all one type of person’s fault and not complicated’. Blah

I’ve only ever had ONE obsessive ‘fan’ who’d stalk me, mock me, and then redraw my art just to get attention from me. That shit fucked with my head. As a follower hundreds of miles away from Viv who’s agreed/disagreed with her through the years - I absolutely believe her when she says she hates ‘creeps’ and that she doesn’t want anyone in her fandom spreading hate on her behalf. It’s the one thing about her I’m POSITIVELY sure of. Whether she believes that said underlying harassment exists and/or is even a problem within her fandoms is anyone’s guess. That’s not what I’m here for. I’m here to write stupid blog entries like this, talk about fandoms and media and how they and the real world affect one another, and rb fan art I like. I’m cautiously optimistic fan with a side of salt.

Mixed opinions and critique within a fandom CAN and SHOULD exist. Hazbin Hotel has been greenlit by a studio! It has a product line of merchandise you buy. Helluva Boss is getting eight more episodes this coming year (yeeee:3yeeee). Two of Viv’s properties are now products. Nothing is immune from critique. And in critique you will find a lot of people who are not ‘nice’. Critique or analysis doesn’t have to be nice. There will be, in Viv’s words’ ‘bad takes’ on her writing. Maybe they will be actual CinemaSins-styled bad takes or maybe Viv is just mad that people don’t love and feel inspired by her characters the way she wants them to - it’s a fact she’s going to have to get used to.

((TBH, I’m pretty sure she’s already realized that criticism of all types need to exist. It’s just that, again, her and the SpindleHorse staff are kind of overwhelmed by all matter of takes and opinions coming their way they kinda can’t deal weeding out the fair ones from the assholes, so she lumps them all together.))

Shitposters, ironic fans, unironic fans, critical fans, just critics of Hazbin and Helluva CAN and WILL exist. They should exist and not feel threatened by the megafandom. There are people out there who are one step further and rightfully bothered by Hazbin/Helluva’s use of incorrect symbols, portrayal of certain topics, and the response by creators. These people have strong opinions and are actually disgusted by Viv. They deserve to exist too and should not be vilified because, like me, they’re commentary doesn’t consist of anything personal towards the people at Spindlehorse or the fans of her works. They can rant, they can be professional, they can be petty and they can be fair. But they will exist. You have to deal with it.

I am an ADD/OCD ridden autistic woman with serious anxiety issues who has no one to talk to half the time and so only HAS my fandom to communicate with. But that’s just it - it’s a fandom. A community. You have to learn to not think souly of yourself and of others in a community. A fandom doesn’t exist just for you or any one person. You have the right to be angry and defend or be offended. And it’s in the spirit of that that I ask, prrraaaaaay even, that I please

NOT BE CALLED AN “ANTI-ANTI” for not liking the moniker?!

I DON’T TO BE AN “ANTI”. Not ironically, not unironically. ‘Anti’ should be for politics and shit like pedophiles, necrophiles, nazis, serial killer stans, Trump, racists, antisemites, terfs, animal abusers, rapists, and antivaxxers. Anti should only come into critical media analysis when these ethical issues follow suit IN TO fandom discussion. ((EX: Anime and MLP proudly waving their cp and non-con into the public eye; Hazbin appropriating cultural symbols which are not satanic; Basically anything that concerns John K or Butch Hartman.))

If your DNI list unironically consists of the entirety of one fandom:  CONGLATURATIONS! You have done the exact same thing these particular creepy Viv fans have done: monopolize the conversation. And yes, people I’m referring to, IT’S STILL A PROBLEM EVEN IF YOU’RE FIGHTING RACISM/SEXISM/HOMOTRANSPHOBIA.

There are hundreds of Vivziefans who ARE more critical, accepting of faults, interested in discussion and especially rewrite and redesign stuff who would LOVE to engage with you and give you a follow. There’s hundreds of people who no doubt agree with you!

But the thing I’ve seen these very proud AntiHazbinVivzieHelluvaWhatever blogs do is lash out at fans for continuing to like Viv and consume Viv’s art in a healthy way. What the actual fuck is your problem?

I get it. Say a crazy Hazbin fan gets on your case for even SUGGESTING Viv could be homophobic ((”SHE’SBIANDWORKSWITHGAYPPLblahablahblah”)). They get in your face, make some callouts, try to rile up support against you, leave disgusting harassment throughout your social media? Absolutely ban worthy. After that it’s perfectly understandable why you don’t want to engage with anything HHHBZPVivzierelated because you’re so fucking tired of being labeled an abuser or “just jealous” for having an opinion on a show you don’t like. I’m with you!

But,

A fan agrees that something in the canon is bad or that Viv did something they don’t like?

A fan likes your silly shitpost meme?

A fan asks if they can like Hazbin and follow you at the same time? 

A fan does fan art of something you don’t like?

If your response to any of these ^^^ things is to get LOUD and accusatory, Vivsplain them about how they’re an absolutely awful person to ever question YOUR opinion, or just block them without a second thought? You’re a petty, vendictive shit and you also need to learn to let things go. I’m sorry but you do. As I already said, Viv’s work is a brand at this point, not just the work of a singular person. As such, there are gonna be mixed opinions and you can’t judge every single one of these people by what they like. You’re a shitty critic with a shitty attitude and yes that will demean the value of what you’re saying. This is bad because, if you’re trying to point out how Angel Dust’s abuse IS handled terribly; gay rep in Viv’s work is weak and terrible; the show appropriates closed practices; the fandom makes excuses for predatory artists and creepy behavior and individuals who have sketchy pasts - I’M WITH YOU. WE NEED TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS SHIT. JUST BECAUSE THESE ARE ADULT CARTOONS SET IN HELL MEANS THERE SHOULD BE ANYTHING CLOSE TO 2013 PONY-TUMBLR. <<<---- this shit is as important to me as it is to you and I really don’t like being called an abuser or apologist for saying “hey maybe blowing up at ppl for the shows they like ISN’T the way to go about this”. 

But I have, just like the good old days of 2015 Zoophobia of yore, been blocked because I admit to being tired of ‘Anti’ being equated to ‘critical’. Same with hater.

Critical DOES NOT = Anti+Hater. I’m fucking tired of people saying it does and I’m tired of people taking up the term as some weird form of fandom reappropriation. It’s stupid.

Tl;dr: Once upon a time, I was in a budding fandom for something I liked made by an indie artist I watched on dA. I wanted to be a bigger fan than I was already, but was told by toxic people within said fandom that I couldn’t be part of it for reasons they’d made up in their head about my ‘motives’ against Viv. My admiration for Viv or what I liked about Zoophobia didn’t matter because I thought the story was really rushed and people weren’t being truthful with how they really felt about it - ergo, I HAD TO GO. 

Flash forward 8 years later- My opinion of Viv’s body of work has changed but I still find myself in love with her style and some of her characters. I want to be on a forum or service that gives a healthy look at the problems there are with this series and fandom...and I’m met repeatedly by petty bs where people are again at each other’s throats. And yes, I do think it’s causing more harm than good especially when you insist there’s a “x person shouldn’t be trusted” mentality when fighting actual fucking racist, xenophobic, predatory bullshit.

Shattered Lives Ch 32 Pt 2

“Thanks.” She said simply and kissed him, her sweetness flooding through him.

“Anytime love.” He murmured as she squeezed his shoulder and headed into the kitchen with Brendan to help out. Gustaf decided to kick back with a book while keeping a watchful eye on Lily.

They ate an early dinner which was nothing short of an Irish feast. Roast turkey, clove studded ham, crispy potatoes, which he found out later were cooked in goose fat and god damn they were good, carrots swimming in butter, parsnips, cranberry sauce and gravy. There wouldn’t be much left over but it was a feast made with love. Dessert was Kladdkaka and Lussekatta.

“These have always been my favorite.” Sildie said biting into a Lussekatta.

“Real cinnamon buns.” Gustaf said and grinned as the taste exploded in his mouth. “Brendan you need to keep all these recipes close by and under lock and key.” He said seriously, the kid was a whiz in the kitchen, especially baking and desserts. He saw the kid blush. “Seriously dude. These are amazing.”

“Can we open presents?’ Liam asked, unable to sit still.

“Soon.” Sildie chuckled. “We have to clean up and watch Muppets first remember?”

It was still early, they’d get to presents around six which would give them enough time to play before bed and seeing as though it was Christmas Eve, they could stay up longer, as long as no one was a grump tomorrow. Thankfully lunch and dinner with Gustaf’s family wasn’t until one and it was relaxed, no set meal times, just show up and eat.

Gustaf helped the twins clear the table, put the leftovers away and stack the dishwasher while Brendan found the Muppets Christmas Carol. Sildie bathed Lily and got her ready for bed, she’d be crashing out in a few more hours. They curled up on the couch and laughed their way through the movie.

“There’s going to be a knock at the door in a moment.” Gustaf murmured and kissed her temple, his arm tightening around her. “It’s something for the kids, don’t freak out.”

Sure enough as the credits were rolling there was a knock at the door. Sildie looked at Gustaf and he shrugged, please play along he said silently.

“Liam and Finn could you please get the door?” She asked as if nothing was afoot.

Sildie stood and pulled Lily into her arms ready to intervene, just in case. Gustaf wrapped his arm around her and kissed her neck. “Relax.”

“Santa!” The boys exclaimed at the very tall man in a Santa suit standing on her threshold, she wondered which brother Gustaf had bribed to dress up.

The apartment was suddenly filled with noise, and laughter, and love. She watched as the twins faces were awestruck at the big guy in the red suit as he handed out gifts. Even Brendan played along and took Lily so he could help her unwrap her presents. Each twin hugged Santa before he left, and just as quickly as he’d come, he was gone, saying he had to get to the next house.

Sildie walked him to the door, those eyes so familiar, yet she knew it wasn’t Bill. She watched those eyes light up under the fuzzy white beard and hair as Gustaf came to stand beside her.

“Thanks.” He said softly so the kids couldn’t hear, and she heard the emotion catch in his voice. He kissed her temple to steady himself.

“Anytime.” Santa grinned. “I’ll let you two get back to it.” He chuckled as Lily squealed and the kids laughed. “See you all tomorrow.”

“Sounds good.” Gustaf said and she could sense that there was more going on here than she knew.

“Lovely to meet you and your family.” He said to Sildie and winked. Who was it, she wondered? She couldn’t place the voice.

“You too, and thank you, this really made their night special.” She said suddenly nervous.

The pair of them watched Santa get in the elevator and then stepped back into the apartment to find Lily sitting in a box playing with all the wrapping paper. The twins were trying to bury her under it but she kept squealing and tossing her hands up scattering the paper.

“Ok, which family member was that?” She asked quietly as they walked to the tree where the kids waited for them so they could open some more presents.

“My dad.” He chuckled.

“Your da...” She looked at him horrified. “Great, the first time I meet your dad I’m in ugly Christmas pajamas.” She scoffed.

“He jumped at the chance to do this when I asked.” His grin wide. “My dad’s a big kid at heart.”

“It was very convincing.” She looked at him, so much love in him. “I didn’t recognize him, but the eyes told me it was someone in your family.” She said quietly so the twins didn’t overhear.

“Damn you’re too fucking smart.” He muttered and kissed her tenderly before sitting with the kids for more presents.

“I thought it might be Bill at first.” She admitted.

“Santas visiting there next.” He chuckled. “And I think Valter did my dads house for my younger half brothers. We take turns.” He shrugged. Family, she thought, it was all about family.

They sat and unwrapped books and games, and small gifts to keep little minds occupied before bed. The larger stack under the tree was saved for the morning. The blending of two traditions.

They huddled around the table to play board games while Sildie made hot chocolate from scratch. She watched them as she stirred the pot. Three boys with happy smiles and giggles, Lily snuggled into Gustaf, those tiny hands holding onto him, and her man. Her lanky man with all the patients and love in the world for four kids that weren’t his. She really couldn’t have asked for better.

“I hope you’re both seeing this.” She said to the heavens. “I hope you see how happy he makes your children. He takes good care of them, loves them.” She paused and smiled as Finn crawled into Gustaf’s lap to snuggle on the other side of Lily. “Don’t be mad or hate them Quinn for wanting to call him dad.” She let the tears fall quietly. “They’re right you know, Gustaf’s the only dad they have now.” She turned to the stove and wiped her tears away as Gustaf looked at her. He’d sensed her emotional swing.

She poured the hot chocolate into mugs and brought them to the table. Gustaf squeezed her hand and she kissed his head. “I’m ok.” She said and joined in the game, Gustaf had been taking her turn for her while she was in the kitchen.

By nine the kids were done. Laughter had been replaced with yawns and it was time for sleep. Gustaf put Lily down, she’d been passed out in his arms for the better part of an hour. Sitting by her crib he watched the tiny girl as she settled.

On his way out to the living room he checked in on the boys and came out to find that Sildie had lit the candles and put on some slow Christmas carols. She took his hand and curled into him

“Dance with me.” She murmured as she swayed. He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her fingers before holding them to his chest.

“I love you, Sildie.” He murmured as he kissed her temple and lingered letting the music drift around him.

“I love you too.” Her tone was emotional, the day finally catching up to her. “Can this be our tradition?” She asked quietly. “Dancing to carols once the kids are in bed?” She nodded.

“Absolutely.” He kissed her head and closed his eyes swaying with her. The moment couldn’t be more perfect. “Let them fall love.” He said as he felt her trying not to cry. “Let them out. You’ll feel better.” He soothed and held her closer.

“I feel so stupid sometimes.” She huffed a chuckle.

“Emotions are funny things.” He smiled and kissed her hair. “But you’re not stupid, just healing.” At least it wasn’t the soul crushing meltdown she’d had at the cemetery.

They danced for nearly an hour, Sildie quietly weeping in his arms. She needed the release before tomorrow with her grief closer to the surface. He knew she’d lock those emotions away tightly once they left the apartment. He eventually talked her into going to bed to try and sleep. All the reassurances in the world couldn’t take the anxiety away. She’d be better once it was done. They curled up together, naked and warm, his scent and caresses calming her. It was close to midnight by the time they both drifted to sleep in each other’s arms.

@hausofobsession @ill-skillsgard @grandpa-sweaters @authentic90skidd @tuckersgirl @fairlyfallacy @flowers-in-your-hayr @raewritesfiction @stinkerbelle007 @kamie-b @mrsaugustwalker @skrsgardspam @loliwrites @trippedmetaldetector @lihikainanea

I hate to be That Guy but I feel like the interaction with Dave {or whatever the thing in Hell is} was leading up to something. It's likely too early to ask for elaboration but I have no impulse control and not enough dopamine so I'm going to not so vaguely indicate that I want to see more if there is more to see. If there has to be a cast perhaps Mangle, Toy Chica, Ballora and of course Springtrap. If it isn't that deep, I'm sorry I wasted your time! Have a good whatever time you read this at.

(Absolutely be That Guy™, I LOVE That Guy™! Though frankly, I feel like you’re overhyping this, while I do have a bit of story around, it’s no good. Ah, whatever, there’s only like- 35 more days of this stuff, so it doesn’t matter if I write myself into corners. All these drabbles are EXCLUSIVELY written with zero brain, but still, thank you very much for that request. While I would LOVE to make a drabble with that cast, because it’s a fun one that crawls into your office directly, it wouldn’t be that lore heavy. So instead these people are just going to be cameos. Also, jumping forward in time by a fair bit Warning for a fair bit of torture!)

Time didn’t work right here. Time passed, but it didn’t. Not at all. He was allowed to drink and occasionally eat in the saferoom, but… Everything that would be an temporal indicator was gone. No natural light, no physical change coming from this body- At least he was still breathing and bleeding, but that didn’t make it much easier to define the timeframe he was in. Over and over and over. The night started over and over and over. He was growing more and more sick of it. The only interesting thing left… … was dying. It gave him the chance to talk to the animatronics- and to get to know the someone who was behind this place. The one he shouldn’t have killed. It was such a peculiar title. So pompous, it must have been made up by a child. But who the hell could that be?! There had been too many kids. The only really noteworthy ones being Lucas and Charlie. Yet it didn’t see like they were here- A meeting with the Marionette had been enough to prove as much. The day the words “I don’t hate you” came from the dangly creature’s mouth was the day he would simply vanish from the universe. And Lucas? Lucas was too kind, too hesitant- he had preserved his gentle nature, fighting only when absolutely necessary. There was no way he would create an entire torture location. Hell, he had even tried to ask Scott, but he refused to talk about it. All he guaranteed was that it wasn’t him. No, no, it had to be a kid- everything about this place told him that. He knew how kids worked and what they liked. A baddie that attacked you killed you within a second just because you didn’t watch his show? Ludicrous. And no, he wouldn’t talk about Toy Freddy. Some of the animatronics had nothing of interest to say- But many did. The real bothersome point that had been standing out to him was how… actually friendly the machines were. Yes, they HURT him, but they called him a friend, cracked jokes and their attacks oftentimes seemed like mere petty retaliation… as if they didn’t really meant for any permanent harm. In a world where nothing left permanent harm, their retaliations became rather vicious. An exception were the nightmares, but it seemed to be in their nature. Henry made notes where he could, as well as getting used to their method of attack and torture. It was a double win- … ��� yet he hated it. It frustrated him to have to invite some of them in. It felt filthy. Death was something intimate. If someone killed you, there should be some sort of purpose, some sort of connection there. It was another mark you could leave on a person. There was something appalling about offering your body, regardless in what way. At least to him. Alas, his blood was the only currency still existing in this world and at least he got to pick and choose when he would be torn to pieces, most of the time. By now he had become good enough. Good enough. Barely. Impatiently he clicked his nails on the table, quickly putting on the mask as the room started flickering. Toy Chica peeked through his eyeholes, grinning. “… and? Who has the honor today, Henryyyy?” “Not you.” “Aw! How unfair!” She pouted, looking out of the doors, trying to spot Ballora, who both of them could hear moving in the back. “We had sooooo much fun last time! What? You want Ballora to-“ “You testing out your cannibalistic fantasies is not my definition of fun, dear. And no. I need to talk to someone else.” “Pft.” Pouting she moved away, slinking back into the vent on the ground. “Fine! Have fun I guess. Better not let me catch you without the mask! Because if I get to win, I get to win, no exceptions.” “There will be no problems with that.” Henry quietly sighed, taking off the old mask. It wasn’t even a Fredbear mask. For some reason it was one of the most disappointing things about this place. Ballora drew close and he carefully closed the door on her, trying not to interrupt her routine too much. Nothing ruined a good melody like the sound of stomping doors. Today he wasn’t worried about the power running out. It all stopped once one of them entered. Everything stopped once one of them entered. A rule. Many rules. And none of them made much sense. Again his nails tapped on the table, anxious and almost angry. Mangle was probably already caught in a vent-snare… … but William took far too long to get here. William. Dave. Davetrap. Never mind that. Finally, the bemused mask of the rotten bunny appeared in the vents, staring down at him. “… having fun?” “… Dave. Good to see you.” Henry stared up to him. “We need to talk.” “Eh… I dunno…” Playfully Dave began crawling back inside. “I’m not in the m-“ “You can come in.” Instantly he had ALL of Dave’s attention, even though he wished he didn’t. It was always a little uncomfortable to see William overly excited, and usually he knew what exactly it was about at least- he wasn’t sure about this one. He wouldn’t put it past William to be elated over the chance to hurt him. Without repercussions. “Really?” His one ear twitched as he stared down, transfixed. Predatory animals, with two of their eyes in front. Human always have been predator and prey at once and Henry had known it from the very beginning, he had seen it in himself and others. It was merely more apparent in William specifically, him and his unstrained behavior controlled by nothing but instinct. “Really.” And yet still- this place was a hellish mess and his mind was just as much of one- it reminded him of back then, when William was utterly excited about an event. ‘Is it actually happening? Really?!’ Really. Pleased Dave laughed, loudly. An ugly laugh when you were on the receiving end. “I told ya, Henry. I told ya you’d do it.” “… you know me well.” Quietly he watched Dave move out, swiftly and nimbly- “… and you seem to know this place too.” “Is that why ya let me in?” “… not only. But I might as well ask you while you are here, correct?” “Hm.” His eyes wandered over Henry’s body. Probably wondering which limb he should separate from his body first. Henry shuddered. Dave got comfortable in front of the office table, smiling. Everything else had gone quiet, the power not even being visible anymore- But the timer was. Midnight. Putting his feet on the table and leaning back on the little chair that he had gotten from who-knows-where, the cyborg grinned.”… alright then! I was worried you’d might be disappointed, since I don’t know anythin’ about this place!” “You do not?” “Nah.” “… then how did you get here?” “Uhhhhh, probably for the same reason you’re here?” “… but you did not DIE.” “I didn’t?” Frustrated the Pink Guy leaned back too, taking a deep breath. This wasn’t going anywhere. “… what is the last thing you remember?” Cheerfully Dave giggled. “I don’t remember anything! Never had any memory! Head empty!” Henry wasn’t stupid enough to believe that. Dave liked messing with others- play-pretend stupidity that was aided by his genuine habit of being rather emotional- but they had spent far too much time together to have that work. “… I know you are lying.” Instantly the mood changed, even if Davetrap didn’t change the slightest bit about his pose. “Ah! Ya do? Or do ya just think ya do?!” Again he snickered. “Either way. I don’t know anythin’ that could be useful for you.” “Maybe I am not out for anything useful? Maybe I am simply worried about you and how you have gotten yourself into a suit?” Dave laughed, loudly, but Henry continued. “… do you need my help to get out of it?” “No.” It was cold. And Henry responded in kind. “… see that is how I know you are not down here for the same reason as me. So why are you here? Why would the one I should not have killed brought you here…? After all- you and me, we most likely killed him together.” Tilting his head slightly, the other guy inspected him and for a moment Henry tensed up, expecting to be attacked- but Dave simply relaxed, changing his pose, allowing his legs dangling over the side of the chair. “Hey, Henry! Did ya miss me?” All smiles and ice cream. “… it seems pretty lonely and borin’ in this office. And it feels like we haven’t talked in a long time…” For a moment the Pink Guy stayed quiet, watching the other one, who continued. “We’ve done so much fun stuff together! This place might not be all that bad if we stick together, right?” He paused. “That of course only means anythin’ if ya WANT to spend time with me. If ya miss me when I’m gone. So. Did you?” Slowly Henry stretched his fingers. “… of course I missed you, Dave.” Both of them watched each other, the air prickling. Then, once more, Dave was laughing again. “That’s why I like you, Henry. You can do such pretty things with your mouth and mind. Sayin’ JUST the right things. I always love when you talk to me. Or about me. Everything you say is like a charm, making things so much better than they actually are. The thing is- Henry- with a gift like that, I can’t ever know if ya MEAN it.” Leaning in, Davetrap inspected him, his big, white eyes almost all-consuming. “… if ya missed me, how come you’ve spent time with anybody but me recently? Ya invited plenty of people into the office. Despite knowing I was the one asking POLITELY for it.” Ridiculous. … yet Henry had to play along. “Please, remain calm my friend. I was talking to them first, because I was gathering intel. Last time I was not informed enough, and you seemed… displeased. Was I incorrect?” It was amazing how much emotion this mask could still show. Just below the rotting maw, the little shine, a grin and not a fun one, judging by how it didn’t reach his eyes. “You have an excuse for everything, don’t you Henry?” “Or perhaps I am simply being genuine and elaborate on my feelings and decisions as you ask me. You on the other hand seem rather hostile today. Would you like to explain why you are so aggressive towards me?” Both of them looked at the other, and while they couldn’t walk in that perfect circle that pacing and threatening humans always seem to fall into, their bodies still conveyed the same. Then, once again, Dave tilted into the other direction, his large ear following suit, smiling. “Aggressive? I ain’t aggressive, Henry! I’m just curious! Quit bein’ so tense all the time!” Slowly losing his patience, Henry rubbed his temples. “Okay, then. I do believe you are at least partially real. But logically you must have arrived from a different timeline than me, one where you died and got put into a suit. Why would you be so mad at me however?” Standing up from his chair, Dave slowly moved over, as Henry turned as far to the side as he could to keep an eye on him. “Ya need a massage, Henry.” “You know I dislike to be touched.” “Welp, is it MY fault you’ve made yourself so tense that you now need a massage?!” Offended the animatronic stopped, leaning down to him. Smelling like oil and peppermint. “Ya really should let me do what’s best for ya.” That WAS a threat. … at least if this thing snapped his neck, it would be quick, painless and unpersonal. Slowly and quietly Henry breathed out. “… alright then, Dave. Please continue.” Yet, even if he had made the agreement, didn’t mean he wasn’t nervous about it. When the fuzzy fingers touched his shoulders he almost jumped, drawing another, somewhat sadistic chuckle out of his former friend. “It’s funny to see ya like this.” “I live to entertain.” Yet another chuckle. “… ya sure do.” The fingers starting massaging, digging themselves into and against the muscles causing Henry barely anything else but pain. Sure- him tensing up his shoulders didn’t help at all, but he couldn’t react any other way, the impulse to tense up was simply bypassing his brain. The other man behind him was simply humming his favorite melody. In the hall of the mountain king. “… remember when I taught you how to play it?” Trying to relax Henry began reminiscing. “Hmmm… yeah! That was fun! I dunno why people didn’t try to teach me an instrument before that, I think I would have really loved learnin’ it. Good that I met you!” “Indeed. Good that you met me.” … there was discomfort, a genuine feeling of worry. Fear? Was this fear? A fear not caused by the direct expectation of physical harm, but instead by- By what? He was probably just- not really comfortable with the thought of not having William in his grasp anymore. William was like him- and that was why he liked and why he despised him. Whatever came into William’s head, he would do and there was nothing Henry could do to prevent it. Part of him would be somewhat relieved if Dave just- murdered him right here and fast. … giving up so early wasn’t really his thing however. “Will- Dave.” “Yeah?” The guy was still squishing and mushing away at Henry’s shoulders, seemingly not caring THAT much about actually relaxing his friend. “What’cha want?” “… I only wanted to ask… do you like it here?” For a minute or so Dave paused, really thinking about it. “It ain’t the worst. I get to play with ya, no fuzz, no more havin’ to try and shut down Freddy’s or kill kiddens.” Slowly his focused back on Henry, his next words deliberate. “… don’t ya think so? Immortality and animatronics, what’s not to love? Sure, the torture is a lil’ sucky, but hey, ya said you’d do ANYTHING to become immortal.” Something scraped over the back of Henry’s mind. Was Dave being manipulated to comply? Sold a false image of perfection? … or was he simply trying to torment him, trying to fool him into thinking that he ever asked for this? Either way. Leaning back, Henry tried to look at him, choosing his next words carefully. “… while I appreciate my robotic works being with me and having no reason to fear death- I do dislike the repetitive loop at the unending threat of pain. I feel… bored. Do you not sometimes wish for variety?” “Everythin’ is a loop, Henry. Ya gotta be happy with the loop you get stuck in.” “… you need more ambition, Dave. Accepting and endless repetitive cycle is almost as low as accepting death. There is no perfection to be found in remaining with the same variables.” Dave sighed and retracted his hands, causing Henry to sit up straight. “It’s fine. It’s fine. You’ll never be happy.” “Excuse me?” “… what would ya still want, Henry? What is it that you’re lookin’ for right now?” “I-“ Shortly Dave leaned over to check the clock. “Whoops! Five AM.” Pleased he turned his head to Henry, who had stood up as well, trying to get some distance between them. “Ya know the rules! I’m inside, I gotta… keep ya busy. Give you a bit of a slap around.” “You will hurt me.” Henry’s voice was blank. He wasn’t really surprised. But the Springbonnie just shrugged. “Oh, well- I never said I wouldn’t. I said I’d help ya. Which I will!” Taking out his array of tools, from within the damaged parts of the suit. Of course Henry was familiar with them. Acid spray, a tool with sharp edges to scoop anything out, knives, a tool to part the tissue when needed- Cleaning. Disinfecting. Getting out an infestation. The psychopath was giggling to himself, as he sat the things down, Henry suppressing his desire to run away with all his strength. No point to it. It only would serve to make him look pathetic. More pathetic than he already was, in this senseless situation. “Ya know, I’m really happy I get the chance! Ya said ya were the Lord of the Flies… but you gave me the tools to get all the crawlers out. What will happen to ya? Will you be purified? Or simply emptied completely? Do ya think hell is there to make people into better versions of themselves?” No answer. He sighed, signing towards the chair. “Sit down again, Henry. I’ll make sure ya won’t die! Not even for a moment. You will see this procedure through to the end…” No escape. He knew the procedure. The body needed to be cut open, like an autopsy. This would lead to plenty blood going everywhere- William had never been a surgeon. Too impatient, too jumpy, too- careless. But after all, he didn’t try to put it back together- he wanted to clean it, fast and efficient. The stomach and intestines were first, cut open and then the lining was being scooped off. The stomach had nerves. Some of the rest of the organs thankfully didn’t. Eyes too, eyes had to go. The tongue as well- and then acid would be pushed up the nose, letting it sit there, Dave believing it would clean out the brain before he would have to drill into it. You would have to deal with less of a swarm exiting the brain like that. But before that? Heart and lungs. William was obsessively exact and radically reliable in how he did this section. He believed he had to be. There were no bugs crawling, no insects nesting in pockets of rotting flesh. But Henry doubted William cared. Nor did he himself care, as the all-consuming pain purged thoughts first- And mercifully, eventually, the life itself too.

[Trying my hand at a fan fiction.

I love to write but I have never done anything like this before, so all feedback would be extremely appreciated (Grammer, Plot, Characters etc.).

I love Tokyo Ghoul so I really hope I don't fuck this up 😅. A big thank you to anyone who reads this ❤️]

Caution: Agressive Swearing, Offensive Language, Graphic Violence.

Notes: Takes place post end of TG:re, Reapers = Marshall version of Doves.

1. Crow - 24

City lights and the rushing motions of the landscape turn the 24th ward into a blinding and blaring circus. Humans. They crawl through this city with the assurance that they will be here tomorrow. They will be here a year from now. They will be here forever. They are the only lifeform with this assurance. All other creatures in this world live with the knowledge that their making it to the next moment is a fifty fifty

It is certainly a miracle that they last, noticing absolutely nothing at all. They don't see the effects that the fumes of their veichles have on the planet that they grip so tightly to. They can't begin to recognise that they are being continually watched and targeted by devices that could wipe them from the face of said Earth in less than zero. They don't even notice the apex predictor observing them from less than a mile above.

Humans simply move from one spot to another, only stopping to cause irrevocable disaster and reduce their surroundings to less than ash, and then move on to the next target. Someone said that humans are Parasites, and although it may be naive to believe this was wholly correct, it would be complete ignorance to dismiss it entirely. Ghouls do not indulge in such ignorance. Parasite is an apt description for a human, from the perspective of a ghoul, that and food.

The figure stands tall, wind rushing rapidly through their tied up hair. They can smell the putrescence of man-kind as they go about their sweaty and arrogant business. They would laugh if it wasn't so tragic. What do humans amount to? They are greedy and bloody bags of meat that fight and hate more than any other being, yet they are allowed to multiply and just be. It could be argued that ghouls are the same as humans in this aspect, but most abide by the one meal a month agreement, even though this arrangement can be hell for some. Unlike humans, who see violence as their God given right, when ghouls fight, it is rarely for anything other than survival. Perhaps this view doesn't take all ghouls into account, but all humans gorge themselves on everything, and fight for any fucking reason they want.

Twenty years ago, a disaster was meant to end this disparity. For the first time ever, ghouls and humans fought together to save the world they shared from the monster that had been designated 'DRAGON'. The defeating of this enemy was meant to end in equality, where ghouls and humans shared the world equally. Scientific leaps had been made. Synthetic meats that ghouls could eat, so they wouldn't have to harm humans. The corpse of Dragon even lead to dramatic advancements in the medical field. Humans were now benefiting from ghoul DNA, as it allowed them to combat most illnesses and increase their lifespan somewhat. After all that ghouls had done for them, weren't humans grateful? No. Ten years, then ghouls were back to being vile creatures to be hunted, and were forced back to living in the sewers. The deaths of so many perfectly good and innocent ghouls, just so that humanity could screw them all over again. What a funny tragedy.

Another figure appeared from the shadows, stepping in line with their comrade. Neither looking at the other, they both silently watched the ferris-wheel turn round and round. A world that they saw as rightfully theirs. They were hungry for it and they would have it. No matter the cost. In fact, the more human casualties... the better.

"Are you ready to go?" the newcomer asked, never taking their attention away from everything below.

"Yeah. Any longer and I might have to eat you."

"Like you could" came the cold, arrogant response.

"Just because you got five inches on me now, doesn't mean I can't still beat your ass Da..."

"Don't fucking call me that. While we're out here you call me Kuma and I call you... Blindfold, or Eyeless. Something like that." Even though his response had been quick and sharp, neither his tone nor his concentration had wavered.

"Eyeless" they conceded.

"Fine, Eyeless it is. Just don't go shouting our real names out in public. You're enough of a liability as it is without giving our fucking identities away."

Eyeless finally turned to look at their brother. They couldn't help feeling a pang of nostalgia. He had been so small once, constantly hanging onto their shoulders and making paper birds that he place all over their home. Those memories hurt, especially when they remembered what came after. He used to smile so much and now he's a moody little shit. They'd never been like that at fourteen, they thought smugly.

"Fine. Let's go KUMA before I rip your snarky head off." With that final retort, Eyeless turned and stepped off of the roof.

Kuma watched them drop six stories, landing with grace and poise. Why were they always so aggravating? Maybe he was jealous of their natural ability, or perhaps they were just a pain in the ass to be related to. With a sigh and a wandering look to the night sky, he followed suit.

* * *

The Marshalls finished up disposing of the ghoul. Bikakus are a pain in the ass Haruto thought, but it's better than a Ukaku. Haruto loved the fact that he was an intimidating figure. The ghoul had basically shat itself as soon as it had seen his large muscular frame, and cruel bearded face. The black trench coat they wore, that often announced the end for ghouls, probably didn't hurt either. He nudged the face of the corpse with his foot. He reckoned it wouldn't even be worth removing his Kakahou to get a new quinque. Taking into account the short amount of time it had taken him and Kenji to bypass his defences and cut him through the middle, he was a B rated ghoul maximum.

"Right, time we get back" Haruto sighed.

"Mhm" Kenji agreed. He never said much.

"Did you bring the body bag? You never know, you might be able to upgrade that piece of shit you call a quinque." Haruto laughed loudly. He loved taking the piss out of Kenji, especially when he knew his only retort woukd be 'mhm'.

As expected, Kenji responded with a grumbling "Mhm", and moved towards the body.

Haruto, turned to walk away, lighting a cigarette and beginning to inhale deeply. That Kenji was going to marry his sister. What's he gonna say when the priest asks him if he takes her to be his lawfully wedded wife? Mhm. Haruto chuckled to himself. All in all Kenji was a good guy, and one hell of a Marshall. He could use that crappy Ukaku quinque pretty damn well, even if it did come from a C rated ghoul. Kenji also took Haruto's kids to the beach when he and Mrs Haruto wanted a quiet weekend. He might be an ugly fucker with next to no hair, and a face that made you want to split him down the middle, but he was clean and sometimes smelt nice. Yeah, Kenji could marry his sister if he wanted. She could do a hell of a lot worse.

A loud splatter sounded out behind Haruto. He spun on his heels, instincts flaring immediately into action. Where the fuck was Kenji? Where his partner had been attempting to fit the ghoul into the black bag, there was now the cut in half corpse of his future brother in law, fallen to the sides with a blindfolded figure standing in the middle. His entire being twitched in anticipation of this thing making a move to kill him, but all it did was leasurly bend down and scoop something up from the gore beneath. As the creature straightened up, he saw that it was simply sucking on one of Kenji's bloody fingers. To others, this might signify a psychotic animal, but to a seasoned Marshall, this was a confident and calculating killer plain and simple. A powerful one at that. Their clothes were indistinctive; clad in thin black leather and fabric, however, their mask was a completely different story. Almost the entirety of its face was covered. Its mouth had a tight black fabric wrapped over it, with a skeletal smile that would open, revealing the snaking pink tongue underneath. The huge back leather collar surrounding it could be zipped up to hide all but the eyes from the world. Not that the eyes could be seen either. A bone white blindfold shut them off from view. Foreign symbols were drawn in deep black on either side, with the a closed eye taking centre stage. Although it was just a drawing, that closed eye was unearving, as if the lack of sight heightened its ability to see, instead of impeding it.

Now this was a ghoul. Just by its sheer presence Haruto could tell this one was rated A, or more likely >S. Haruto couldn't deny to himself that he was intimidated, but he was a senior Marshall, and always backed himself in a one on one. He looked down at his fallen partner and gulped. First things first, get into this guys head. Haruto scanned the ghoul, looking for weaknesses that he could exploit verbally. If he was lucky, the reaction could lead to him obtaining an edge. He noticed that this ghoul was slight in stature, maybe five foot five all told.

"You wanna end up like this other piece of shit, you fucking dwarf."

This garnered absolutely nothing.

Haruto couldn't take it much longer. This creature continued to lapp at the guts of his dead partner, that were splattered over its fingers. It obviously didn't give a shit what it looked like to others. It reminded him of a cat, publically cleaning its fur and genitals with no concern for the world. It was fucking reveling in its feast, and it made Haruto's blood boil.

"You killed an innocent man. He was gonna have a family and you ripped him apart. You monsters have no fucking souls and you all belong in hell. That's where I'm gonna send you. I'm a fucking senior Marshall you stupid shit. You have no clue how badly you've fucked up."

Again, the ghoul made no sign of changing emotion, continuing to dip its fingers in Kenji and take its time eating. Haruto knew he needed something else to get into its head so he scanned again. 'Shit' he thought, as the ghost of a smile passed over his lips. The majority of its body was covered in black that mostly obscured its shape, however, his keen eyes saw that although its grey hair was tied up, it was probably quite long when undone. At its chest area, although it was probably bound, there was the hint of a slightly tented structure. The hardest one to spot was the hips. Despite them being covered by black leather shorts, those hips were a tad too wide to be a man's.

"Alright you sick fuck. I'M A COMMIN FOR YA!"

With one last drive to uncover more courage, Haruto raised his Kokaku quinque and lept towards the ghoul.

"I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP FOR KENJI... YOU BITCH!"

As Haruto closed the distance with extreme speed, to less than two meters, the shadow of another figure dropped from the sky, landing directly next to the first. Haruto skidded to a halt, taken aback by the new masked creature. This one was certainly taller, and its face was covered by a red, horned mask. It was only as his attention slipped completely that he realised his final mistake. For the first time, the blindfolded ghoul smiled widely, the skeletal mouth parting to reveal massive bloody teeth.

The next thing Haruto knew was that he was laying down on the ground, face to the sky. His neck was warm and dripping wet. He raised his hands to his throat as the oxygen escaped his body, feeling the deep gash that was releasing his blood. The ghouls started conversing.

"Which one you want?" the first asked the newcomer.

"I don't care. You killed 'em both so you choose" the other responded dispondantly.

"Well, you're the growing boy so you take the ghoul and the first Reaper."

"Damn, well fuck me if you ain't the best big sister" uttered the male ghoul sarcastically, as he casually walked over to Kenji and the dead ghoul. "Why you taking you're mask off you sicko? The guys not even dead yet."

"I like it when they watch me" the female ghoul giggled.

Haruto saw the shadow of something passing over his head. "Ken...Ke..ji" Haruto gasped.

Suddenly, from below him came a the same giggle. "Awww dude, I think these guys were close."

"Eyeless, eat the fucker and let's go" came the voice of the male.

"Hey buddy boy, look at me will you" said the female from his feet.

Haruto craned his neck, scared of what he might see, but thinking 'fuck it' to himself. What's did he have to be afraid of, he's already dead. When he finally focused on the face he was confused. She was chewing on a leg. His leg. When the fuck did she get her dirty hands on that? When she'd finished on his leg, licking the tips of her fingers with delight, she bent down and hovered over him. Eyeless? That's what the other one had called her, but that wasn't true at all. Now that her blindfold was off he could see the entirety of her murderous giddy face.

"You're very funny" she said. "Innocent man. Gonna have a family. Its really fucking funny."

The last thing Haruto would ever see would be a testimony to her names innacuracy. Staring at him excitedly was one grey eye, so remarkably human looking it was weird. The other eye was a pool of darkness... with a violent, blood red pupil that seemed to be trying to force its way out of its black prison. She snapped up the rest of him.

"Sicko..."

End

Blood Daffodils.

Chapter 22: The Battle of Hogwarts (part 1) <<2/2>>

“BOMBARDA!” The brunette yelled and the cupboard next to Vince and Greg exploded in a million pieces before he ducked again to dodge a Diffindo casted towards him. From his hideout he spoke clearly. “You think the Dark Lord will give a fuck about you handing Potter in?”

Vince casted a Bombarda too, just to spite him. His eyes were livid.

“Do you think that Draco will run into your arms for changing sides?” He asked in a very mean joking tone that made him want to strangle him.

“Fumos,” Theo casted before starting to wave his wand around, making all the objects of the piles fall in a sea of lost and found things. “ Potter!” He shouted, it sounded rushed, like he wanted to run the hell away from there and he was just waiting orders.

Harry was the one who ran towards him, avoiding to shout so Vince and Greg wouldn’t hear him near, and pushed Theodore, directing him to the entrance.

Running, trying to get away from that maze that was the Room of Hidden Things, they found Weasley and Granger, well, almost crashed into them.

“Hey!! You found the diadem!” The weasel said the broken cup still in his hand.

He was promptly interrupted by Greg’s voice, screaming bloody murder.

“What did you do?! RUN! RUN, VINCE!”

The heat felt so all consuming. Ever-burning flames rose, burning everything and destroying every single item in their path. And all his friend were running too. The gryffindors almost fled to the door and Draco was following by inertia. It wasn’t until he saw the brooms in a corner that he changed his direction.

“WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING?” He heard the Weasel yell, probably because he was the first to notice.

“DRACO DON’T-“Theodore yelled but he was already hoping on the broom.

“Slytherin code!” He yelled right back at him as if it were an explanation.

Why did they think that it was necessary to have five people on brooms to save two was a mystery. He supposed that Potter just jumped on a broom as soon as he saw Draco being a suicidal arsehole and the rest of them just followed.

That was the whole point of their relationship dinamic, one of them on the verge of dying and the other running towards danger to stop it. If they got out of the Fiendfyre alive, Draco seriously hoped that their children would not grow up to be like them, he would die from stress.

He found them climbing one of the mountains of things, for a moment Vince stumbled, Greg caught him by the collar of his shirt, his face all ugly from crying.

He heard Vince tell him to drop him, that otherwise they were going to fall both into the flames.

No.

He could save them both. He could.

He rushed towards them, the heat of the room burning his skin. He wondered if he could catch on fire just for being near it, if his skin could burn alive from just from being near.

“Draco watch it!” Harry’s voice came out desperate but it was right on time because he dodged the table that was probably going to fall on him.

“You catch Greg!” He yelled over his shoulder. “Vince, you hand!”

Vince was still hanging from Greg’s grip, doing an effort to put his feet on a surface so his weight didn’t end up dragging them both down. The boy looked at him, somewhat hesitant that Draco was actually offering his hand rather than all being a catch to get him to fall directly into the flames. He supposed that he realized that he didn’t have much choice than to trust him.

He lowered the broom and pulled from Vince’s hand to swing him towards it. A little stumble, a little balance lost, for a moment Draco thought they would fall together to the fire. They didn’t.

He heard Potter yell at him to fly, and he did. He flew so fast that they were crossing the entire Room in a matter of seconds. He could feel the heat increasing, surrounding them.

They crossed the door and fell to the floor in exhaustion. Everything rang in Draco’s ears. Everything was blurry. They had saved Greg and Vince. They had caught the horcrux...

The horcrux.

“POTTER! Throw the diadem to the fire!”

Harry seemed to blink, it was Granger who snapped him out of it.

“It’s Fiendfyre! Throw it!!”

And he did.

The flames seemed to morph into something that wasn’t an animal, the spirit, the soul of Riddle throwing itself to them, hunting them to avoid the imminent destruction.

The door shut themselves, keeping whatever it was coming for them inside. He could still feel the heat emanating from the walls, even if the door had disappeared.

Something shifted in the air then. The wards. They weren’t going to hold up.

Next thing he knew Theo, Vince and Greg were crying in pain and Potter stumbled and fell to the floor.

Draco crawled next to the green-eyed.

“He is angry...” His voice came out rough and affected.

“We need to move.” He heard Granger say, securing the bag filled with basilisk fangs and gathering the ones that had fell to the floor when they landed.

Vince and Greg stood up and ran away. Draco wasn’t even surprised but he heard Theo mutter something along the lines of ‘so much for the Slytherin code’... The blond didn’t agree with him, though. Vince and Greg could have attempted to take Potter again right there and then. They were all weak, exhausted... And they didn’t. Even when they hadn’t change sides... if that wasn’t the Slytherin code he didn’t know what was.

“What about the house elves?” Weasley asked, frowning, like the thought had just occurred to him.

And he wasn’t the only one, Draco had totally forgotten about them, and for the look in Granger’s face she had too.

“You mean we ought to get them fighting?” Asked Potter with hesitation.

“No. I mean we should tell them to get out. We can’t order them to die for us.”

It was in moments like this that Draco felt proud to call him his best friend, even after all the years they spent fighting and hating each other. Because Weasley was like that, kind, thoughtful and brave.

He heard the clattering of the fangs on the floor and saw Granger throw herself into Weasley’s arms. Her bushy long hair all over the place, her feet not touching the floor because Ron had been quick enough to catch her on air.

And then she kissed him full on the mouth.

Draco could see the the smile on the corner of Weasley’s lips as he held her tight and returned the kiss passionately. He couldn’t help but to smile as he saw them.

“Is this really the moment?” Potter asked with a flat tone.

Draco turn around to see Theo and found him looking at the happy couple with a bored expression, not surprised at all, maybe he thought that Ron and Hermione were already together and this wasn’t their first kiss.

“There is a war going on here!!” Potter yelled again and Draco punched his arm and heard him whined in pain.

“Let them snog, Potter. Took them long enough.” He replied rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, mate” Ron said cheerfully. “It’s now or never, right?”

It didn’t took long until Theo ran out of patience and said that they could all shag each other for all he cared but he was going to find the rest of the DA or the Order, people who were actually doing something right now.

Potter followed, his face reflecting a level of hurt-pride that Draco hadn’t seen before. It was as it he thought that Theo was braver than he was, more adequate to fight this.

It was ridiculous, Harry had been fighting this war since he was born, there was no other person in the world who was more adequate to fight this. Theo was probably just hiding how scared he was by showing off. Potter didn’t need to show off, he was just that brave, that fearless.

Soon enough, Weasley and Granger followed them.

They didn’t need to walk very far to see Fred and Percy Weasley fighting with the Minister of Magic and one of the death eaters that Draco could not recognize.

Everything was wrong about that moment, every single fucking thing. They had learned enough in the training with Sirius and Mr. Potter to know that, he was just surprised that no one was saying a thing about it.

The only thing that was good about the fight was that they were fighting back to back. Good for cover. Not good for killing curses.

But Percy was joking around, being cocky. Fred actually stopped to talk to him.

Draco was already running towards them, ignoring whatever Theo or Harry were screaming at him. The light was approaching, huge thing, coming at them, he could see it all through the huge window.

“GET DOWN!” He yelled, his throat raw from the intensity as he threw himself over the redhead and pulled him away from the wall.

Sirius’ voice ringing in his head.

‘Watch out for everything. It’s not only the killing curses, it’s the hexes, it’s the bloody walls and furniture that could crack your skull open’

And James’.

‘And always fight together, always protect each other.’

The explosion went off and bricks flew around them. Draco covering their heads with his hands. Only thinking that none of them could die from something so stupid as a wall falling on them, not with all the bloody threats around the castle.

No sibling of Weasley was dying on his watch. Not after everything that Ron had done for him.

His eyes were heavy, he had hit his head when he threw himself to the floor, but he could still breath... Not dead. Good.

He turned to see Fred. Shook him with all he had. The redhead complained, no words but it was a sound. Sounds meant he was alive.

“Draco...” He heard as he felt Harry’s hand moving carefully lifting his head.

He forced himself to get up, ignoring the complains of the green-eyed and turned to see Weasley, Fred and Percy looking at him.

“That was the stupidiest thing you’ve ever done, Ferret. I’m counting the sword.” His voice sounded so broken... He only had seen Weasley cry once, right before they went to Bill’s, but he was definitely crying now, so that would be two times he saw it.

Then, Fred spoke:

“Thank you, Malfoy. You have a fifty-percent discount on Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.”

He laughed, wholeheartedly and carefree. Theodore and Hermione managed to scare away the attackers, protecting them while they tried to recover from everything.

And he couldn’t help but to feel grateful, grateful that he was fighting with them and not against them, grateful to had saved Sirius last year, grateful to have brought James back, grateful to have become friends with Weasley, grateful that Granger invited him to the horcrux-hunt, grateful to have Theodore covering his back, grateful to have Potter hugging him and kissing the top of his head. Grateful to have saved Fred just then.

The only thought on Draco’s mind was that a lot of good things had happened that day for it to be the worst day in their lives.

         howdy hey , pardnerrrs :> i’m rox ( she / her ) ‘n i’ll be playing yr residential sullen broodin’ boy , nico . i didn’t have the time to write out a whole new intro , given that i have back to back classes again today :-’( , so please forgive me for recycling his old intro akawodkgrsd ; . that being said , i did tweak around some tingz and i updated his wcs for him , so if yr down to clown around just hmu on my discord :   𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔱 𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔫𝔦𝔞#2854 !  okie okie , i’ll shut da eff up now ♡ 

BASICS.

༉‧₊˚✧ kim taehyung , cis man , he / him / his — did you see that nicholas “nico” yoon was trending last night ? the twenty three year old street artist has been getting a lot of press lately . i think it’s due to them being so + quixotic & + free-spirited , but i always thought they seemed - withdrawn & - sybaritic . their fans always say they remind them of soft smoke rings spun in a dreamy haze , silver-ringed fingers rapping against polished oak , and waning light refracting against broken glass though . i wonder if they’ve found out about REDACTED yet … i guess we’ll have to wait and see . [ rox , 22 , pst , she / her , none ]

PINTEREST & PLAYLIST .

01 and 02 .

PERSONALITY .

at first glance , nico reads as this aloof , arrogant type that doesn’t like to associate w the common public . always keeping the majority of people at a comfortable distance , nico moves almost exclusively within his own social network , and doesn’t like to deviate from what he knows best .  

not so much pretentious as he is lazy , making an effort to socialize with complete strangers is simply something that nico would never do . hehe ... he’s kind of shy like that .... ♡ though he’d literally never admit it ♡

despite giving the impression that he’s some intimidating and chronically indifferent kind of guy , nico is genuinely a sweet boy — ‏‏‎ one who’s in a constant state of confusion as to why people seem to be so scared of him . it always comes as a shock when close friends of his admit that they thought he absolutely hated their guts when they first met him .

b/c tho he’s p smart , nico is very oblivious at times , and he’s 100% the kind of guy who’ll walk away from a conversation thinking he did a rly rly good job trying to make a friend ... when in reality he prob said four words in the span of thirty minutes smh .

overall , nico’s a private person , especially with what he’s thinking ... and it’s really hard to get a clear read on what’s on his mind . sharing his feelings has never been one of nico’s interests b/c he just genuinely doesn’t think whatever he has to say is rly worth mentioning . so he usually just shuts da fuck up n lets other ppl talk so he can mentally gain the strength to continue socializing .

push nico’s buttons enough tho ‘n you’ll catch this mf speaking in full sentences .

lastly , it should b noted that nico is a romantic through n through ... this mf probably d*ed in the victorian era ‘n got reincarnated b/c he’s got that ‘ lets share furtive glances across the room but never say a thing to each other  ‘ thing on lock . mr. darcy headass

and while nico might play the role of long-suffering , ever pining lover to a T , he’s more in love w / the idea of love than he is w / any single person . and he literally cannot hold down a relationship w/o fucking it up for himself in some shape or form .

kind of sarcastic ... v much the teasing type .... 

can b very impulsive at times , loves to go on solo adventures at night , prefers his own company tbh ...

overview : melancholic , reticent , noncommittal , humble , mild-mannered , romantic .

a mix of : josh from clueless and j.d. from heathers

more here .

MORE AESTHETICS.

the chill of silver jewelry against flushed skin , forgotten graffiti on porcelain sinks , flickering motel lights , kisses sticky with vodka , eyes ringed with lavender , sleepless nights surrendered to the dull buzz of television , obscure art house films , sun-kissed cheeks , the surprise of summer rain , chest aching with lost loves , scattered baby’s breath and rosemary , and a shared smile between perfect strangers .

CHARACTER DISSERTATION.

nico was born on a brisk wintry morning in the fashion district of los angeles ( january 21st , 1997 ) to a family of six .

as the second youngest child , and the only male son to boot , nico grew up with his only inheritance being a generational kind of hunger , one that demanded for more than what his struggling parents could offer

the arts stole nico at an early age ... ushering him into a world of creation and freedom beyond the four bleak walls he daily occupied . from spending lonely summers tucked away in some forgotten corner in the library to practicing on a borrowed violin from dawn to dusk , nico knew that even with nothing at his disposal , there was always something to be made w/ the tools he’d been given  

despite not having the money for private tutors to hone their son’s growing artistic talents , his parents did whatever they could to support his dreams , whether that meant working double shifts back to back or scrounging for loose change underneath the sofa cushions to pay for whatever materials nico needed .

it was in this strange way that nico grew up p spoiled . somehow having nothing while also having absolutely everything at the same time .

very much a family man , the first big purchase nico made once he broke out in hollywood was a house in beverly hills for his parents . now that he’s finally at a place where he can take care of his family , nico makes sure that his parents and sisters want for nothing

while he showers everyone else with generous gifts and obscene amounts of money , nico doesn’t particularly feel comfortable doing the same for himself . he’s a simple man through n through . one who’s content to spend his time walking his dog late at night , listening to a podcast on his airpods , instead of going out to a club w/ other well-known socialites .

a true artist at heart , nico refuses to conform to the current trends of hollywood , instead insisting on wearing thrifted clothes to important galas — ‏‏‎much to the frustration of his PR team and the chagrin of his stylists . but none of the choices nico makes seems to surprise anyone anymore . driving flashy cars and wearing designer clothes has never really been his style , after all . and it’s important to him that he remain authentically himself despite everything .

WANTED CONNECTS.

pr relationship ( open ) : someone that nico is contractually obligated to date ... i could totally see there being drama ‘n tension from having to pretend to actually like each other ... would b better if they rly did not like each other at all ... 

fwb ( open ) : buddies who bump uglies sometimes ... they both agreed they’d never catch feelings for each other but we’ll see ... 

frenemies ( open ) : someone that grinds nico’s gears but they’re a friend of his friend ... so they’re forced to keep it civil . i can see them exchanging hateful comments in the back of their friend’s car while simultaneously posting pics of each other on ig to keep up the rouse . 

unrequited crush ( open ) : likely nico would not realize if yr muse had a crush on them ... but it’d be fun to play it out like a kdrama anyway heh heh

a close friend group ( open / any ) : i thought it’d b so cute if there was like a small group of friends , maybe 3-4 ppl , that do stupid shit like ditch going to celebrity after-parties to break into abandoned buildings , get real high , ask stupid ‘ would u rather ‘ questions , and do sum main character type shit ... yk what im puttin down ... ‘n nico is def the type to open up in the presence of extroverts so i think having a group of wild outsiders of diff bgs would b v inch resting ..

enemies / rivals ( open / any ) : tbh nico prob rubs ppl the wrong way since he has resting bitch face ‘n never wants to talk to anyone .. so im sure there r ppl who just do not like this mf ... and rest assured that the feeling is mutual ...

bad / good influence ( open / any ) : nico’s known to mount his high horse often ... mr morality over here ... so i just know he prob would butt heads w/ the residential troublemaker . tho nico’s artwork can be controversial and out of the box at times , his art style and his personality are at constant odds , and it’d b interesting to have that bad influence / good influence dynamic w/ someone .

family friend ( open ) : someone who grew up w/ nico in dtla ... couldve gone to the same public school as him ... or their families couldve gone to the same church ...

ok my intro post has become a fucking behemoth so im going to stop here ‘n just say i have so many more wcs in mind so if u wanna plot lets just talk hehe :>

I'm getting pretty annoyed with the amount of bullshit in the media right now. I just read an article about the "antisemitic" conspiracy theory Qanon. Calling Qanon antisemitic is like calling the KKK a group opposed to the career of Will Smith - technically true, but clearly a small subsection of a greater whole.

So, to remedy this...

COBIE'S FRUSTRATED GUIDE TO QANON FROM SOMEONE WHO LOVES CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND WISHES THIS ONE WOULD FUCK OFF BECAUSE IT IS BORING AS SHIT BUT NOT FIZZING WITH ENERGY, EVEN ON A MOLECULAR LEVEL, BECAUSE IT IS A DUMB AND LAZY REHASH FROM THE 80S OR EARLIER!

PART 1: DA FUCQ IS QANON?

Qanon is a grooming organisation for the Christian Far Right Death Cult that has held the Republican party in its sweaty hands since the ascent of Reagan in the 1980s. They believe in some bullshit I won't reprint here because I have no intention of spreading their ideology, but if you've heard of the Satanic panic, this is Satanic Panic 2: Now With Pizza!

Qanon is, by definition of their own supporters attacks on Muslim terrorism, a terrorist organisation. And, though it seems impossible, they're stupidier than ISIS ever were, because at least there was some twisted logic behind ISIS: poor young men fighting revolutionary wars against what they see as corrupt and immoral authorities and ideologies is nothing new. Qanon is literally the powerful declaring war on those without power out of fear that those without power (Satanists) live only to physically abuse their ugly, fat, prejudiced, stupid children. Despite the statistically most likely people to abuse them being them themselves, and there being plenty of evidence that many of these hypocrites have done that in the past (numerically many - one thing I believe Qanon followers on is that the majority are gullible Maud Flanders types, so statistically it won't be that many).

Donald Trump supports them over the "violent" Antifa (Antifa haven't killed anyone since 1993 (and that was a suicide), aren't actually an organisation, and are against facism, which Trump also claims to be against), despite Qanon followers carrying and firing weapons regularly, having shot up a pizza place in a terrorist act, refusing to wear masks, and other acts of violence designed to terrorise people.

PART 2 WHO DO THEY HATE?

Um... like, 98% of people.

Qanon is primarily an Apocalyptic Christian Far Right Death Cult. They believe in what they call SRA (Satanic Ritual Abuse) which happens at such a low frequency as to make it as serious a problem as being invaded by pookas. You might find anecdotal evidence here and there, but the majority of cases are hearsay spread by people who weren't there who were a part of or raised by people who were a part of the Satanic Panic. If you hear about it, it's likely bullshit. Just look at the West Memphis 3: accused of Satanic Ritual Abuse, they were sent to prison for wearing black clothes and being teenagers without any evidence. Now, whoever killed those boys is still loose, because Qanon, like all right-wing groups, is about being obeyed, not about justice.

So, with Satanic Ritual Abuse being fucking vapour, they can accuse ANYONE. And if there is no evidence, they cry COVER UP. There is no way, at all, to prove this mindset is wrong as it always self corrects, because being religious in origin, it is driven by BELIEF, not evidence.

So, whoever they believe is evil, is, as far as their reality tunnel goes.

Muslims? Evil child abusers. "But there is no evidence of that. In fact, the Muslim community is actually very protective of their children and other children. They're amongst the kindest people you can meet, even if their political leaders in their own countries are jerks." Well, says Qanon, that's because their community covers up the abuse. There wouldn't be any evidence. But my cousin went to school with a girl who was groomed by a Muslim. It's clear it is something all Muslims do. "But that's stupid. That's like saying that because Ted Bundy, a heterosexual white Republican, murdered loads of women, all heterosexual white Republicans want to murder women!" Now, says Qanon, you are just being silly. Besides, I believe Muslims are bad and Republicans aren't. You can't question my beliefs.

But we can, and we should.

Qanon followers use this vague structure to create complex webs that link up various conspiracy theories, but they aren't a complex web. They're just a list of petty grievances they have from living in their own personal echo chamber.

They hate women, they hate girls, they hate boys who don't conform to their expectations, they hate men who vote left-wing, they hate gay people, bi people, really anyone who isn't heterosexual, they definitely hate trans people (see: trans people want to use bathrooms to abuse children as merely an extension of the Satanic Ritual Abuse claims), they hate people with coloured hair, bright clothes, they hate Jewish people, they hate Muslims, they hate anyone from a fringe religion that doesn't look right, they hate foreigners, black and brown people... anyone they define as different. And to back this up, they claim to be "the majority" being dictated to be a "minority" - they aren't. They're a minority of gobby cunts, a Karen of Nazis (Karen being the best collective noun to describe these childish crybabies who were so desperate to remain in a state of childlike innocence they embraced both religion and then keep insisting their imaginary friend, Jesus, is following them everywhere, like a psychotic stalker ghost).

PART 3 WHERE DOES THEIR BULLSHIT COME FROM?

This is probably the most important part. Not what they believe, but where these ideas come from, and why they aren't new.

Qanon is a mixture of young-and-edgy YouTube/8chan influencer, white supremacist religious manipulation, pro-Capitalist Protestant religious "life is shit, embrace misery" ideology, pedophile hysteria, and "we hate the idea people have rights because we're power mad, but we're going to frame this as a backlash, normal people making their voices heard, a culture war, or whatever else we can rebrand PREJUDICE because even we don't want to admit we are bigots".

So, first of all, the angry white online teenagers: have always existed, will always exist. Their parents don't give a shit about them unless they cause trouble. So, they learn quickly that the best way to get attention is to cause trouble, which leads to kinship with other troubkemakers, forming an echo chamber of escalating troublemaking. But they're also angry, and often poor (in their eyes, or in actuality), so they're drawn to outrage, and like causing it. They're attracted to movements like this because they believe it's a chance to get some attention, someone to notice them.

And who notices them? White supremacists are always on the lookout for recruits. They feed their need for outrage and attention by misrepresenting everything. They take puff-piece news articles and shoddy journalism and further twist them into movements around positions that have no basis in reality. Vaccines? Designed to hurt you. "Uhhh, no," you say. "That's literally the opposite of what a vaccine does." I don't believe that, they say, and you can't question my beliefs. BLM? Terrorism. "No, they just want to not be shot." No they don't, they want to take over and put the Jews in power, and you can't question my beliefs! "You have no evidence!" COVER UP! they scream.

So it goes, so it goes.

Meanwhile, the Protestan work ethic of, "If you didn't suffer, you don't deserve it," goes on and on. They believe that shit things just happen, you can't stop them. Capitalism is founded on this very, very relugious principle: work should be pain for it to have value. This justifies promoting assholes, and making things difficult. But it also promotes the idea that you can't do anything to combat inequality, as that is natural, and you can't do anything to stop bad things happening, they always will, so why try? This lends Qanon a specific pattern: complain, do nothing, complain nothing is being done, still do nothing, repeat. It's wrong to intervene, you see. This allows them to say racism is bad, but God wants us to suffer so we deserve phony-heaven, a paradise they think is built on bricks of human misery... does that sound glorious to you? And if you have something, clearly you did suffer to get it, and so you are worthy, which is why Trump is a hero to them and they believe his every utterance of verbal diarrhea about him being persecuted (to be fair, he is, but he deserves it because he's lazy and incompetent).

Pedophile hysteria is also generally religiously motivated. Children should be protected, but they are not innocent angels. I've worked with children. Some are nice, some are sneaky, some are violent bullies, and so on. The one thing that unites all children is that they are ignorant. That's why we send them to school. And there are people who want to prey on children. The world we usually use to describe those who most often hurt, abuse and damage children is, "family". Promoting the idea of gangs of rampaging pedophiles snatching children into vans and harming them in shadowy rooms, or murdering them in some Satanic ritual, is laughable compared to the epidemic of children being harmed by those parents terrified the pedophiles are out there. Such fear motivates them to do untold harm to children, restricting their freedoms and their growth, teaching them that all sex is bad so they never enjoy it, forcing them to be things they aren't, and turning a blind eye to obvious abuse because those doing it are not the model of abuse being put out by the press and Internet communities. In that last way, Qanon is a driver of child abuse: it actively encourages Apocalyptic Christian Far Right Death Cult members to nit even ask the obvious question: if Epstein was abusing kids, and Epstein was hanging out with Trump, was Trump maybe involved in some way?

And then there is just the prejudiced crowd, most notably the American-exceptionalism delusional whack jobs. Let me be clear, all forms of exceptionalism are prejudiced, as they suggest that those who are exceptional are better and mire deserving than others, and the real world does not contain such hierarchies, just stuff that happens until it stops happening. A monkey may be the alpha, but one day they won't be. It's not a hierarchy, it's just a thing that happens that we project a power structure onto. Who knows what monkey culture is like? Maybe to them deference is more honourable and respected than being in charge. No-one has asked monkeys for their views of ideology or power structures.

This often manifests itself in ideas of, "We shouldn't be ashamed!" and that movements they don't like are, "Against us!" Well, if you're setting out to hurt people because you believe you are better than them, you should be ashamed. That queer Pakistani girl you keep out of college could have been the one to cure cancer! She might have had the unique perspective to make that breakthrough. And, yes, some of us are against Qanon, because Qanon is hurting people. That is the point of the movement: to harm its enemies, by denial if freedom all the way up to outright murder. It isn't a Pride parade or BLM demanding equality and an end to deaths, its a hate movement driven by a desire to punch down, and ultimately perpetuate the very system that isn't even working for those who follow its own ideology.

It's based on fear of the new, even if that new place is better than the old one, change can be scary. They think equality will hurt them, the way collective bargaining would hurt them. But we don't live in a system where resources are so finite you have to do without, we live in a system where resources are finite but we throw away an excess because capitalism couldn't make rich people richer by giving it to those who need it, so they dispose of it and introduce scarcity to drive up the cost. Working together would force them to stop doing that, which is why movements like this exist: to perpetuate a form of exceptionalism more like a cult, where only the leaders reap the rewards.

PART 4 WHAT IS THE END GOAL OF QANON?

It doesn't have one.

Qanon is a right-wing movement. Right-wing movements are about winning arguments now, and then feeling smug, even when the damage is undone later. It's about a sense of self-satisfaction, and not anything else.

Plus, Qanon has so many stake-holders who hate each other that the movement will eventually descend into cannibalism as all these things do.

Finally, being primarily religious in its design, it won't take long for many religious types to realise Q is kind if a God-like figure, a false idol, and when that happens, plenty if their leaders will become worried that their followers are so focused on Q they might "stray from the path" of donating all their money to their church.

Unless it turns out that Q is Q from Star Trek, in which case their end goal is to test Jean-Luc Picard.

PART 5 SHOULD WE FEAR QANON?

Nah. It's a group of fringe lunatics whose time in the spotlight will be fleeting. As I've already said, even their ideas aren't original - this is the Apocalyptic Christian Far Right Death Cult version of Fortnite stealing dances: everyone goes crazy about it for a bit, but it's so insubstantial in its original form, nevermind the cover band version, that almost all people with a lick of common sense will dismiss it. Plus, it doesn't serve any agenda: Trump could easily find himself on the receiving end of it, that one Qanon politician just elected will likely be marginalised the moment Trump vanishes, and having a single person won't sway any votes in such divisive times, which means they'll be proclaimed ineffectual soon enough, and with Epstein it is already showing that it isn't something which helps the powerful, meaning a lot of people who do have secrets will want it gone sooner rather than later lest it bite their own hands. Plus, they are actually harming people - and say what you like about the Republicans, they don't tend to respond well to the PR disaster of groups they side with directly attacking or killing people unless they are their own ACAB stormtroopers.

Plus, it's a bunch of saddos on the Internet. Chances are if you see someone screaming about Qanon and waving around a gun, they'd have done the same and screamed about lizards had it never got started.

PART 6 WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Stop giving them attention. This is one of the most BORING conspiracy theories ever created. Seriously, since 9/11, conspiracy theories have really gone downhill. They used to be about aliens and subterranean kingdoms, and now they're just attempts to misdirect pedophile hunters from the right-wing types who have covered up child abuse, and tie it to phony "think of the children" and "Satan is out to get us" religious hysteria.

With covid-19, the press is having a very slow news cycle, so they're desperately grabbing at anything that can drive search engine algorithm clicks to their sites, so they're covering Qanon because they've seen it trending. I doubt most people involved with it really believe in it, but it is so directionless that it wouldn't matter if they did. Qanon Con would descend into bloodshed fairly quickly because everyone would be angry and arguing that the tater tots are secret SRA code for cannibalising children or that it reveals that Hilary Clinton buries children beneath fields of potatoes. It's stupid, the people involved with it are stupid, and the bigger question is what they believe that led them to this:

Disenfranchisement. Having to respect the beliefs of others. Prejudice. Anger.

Well, boo-fucking-hoo. If these shitbags actually want to stop harm to children, maybe stop supporting gun rights so kids aren't being gunned down in schools, and black kids don't keep getting gunned down everywhere. Until you do that, Qanon, you're the child abusers.

“This Feels Like The Very First Christmas To Me..”

Every year at the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs holds a party the night before Christmas. He deems it mandatory that everyone who was there to sing “First Christmas song” must be there, ensuring that his two employees and friends be there to start off the party with some Christmas spirit. During the “event” there are plenty of activities for the people of bikini bottom, to do. White Angelfish gift exchange, singing carols, secret Santa, spin the Kelp-nog. Whatever he can charge the customers to buy if they so happen to “forget” the presents that they were supposed to get, despite Mr. Krabs insisting that they were not necessary to bring. Most times at the end of these stupid parties Mr. Krabs has us reflect on the year we had, but does it really ever matter? Probably not.

Squidward sighed as he leaned up against the wooden pillar wrapped in tinsel. The krusty krab was extra decorated this year, with the brighter lights and more trinkets. Krabs made them wear these ugly Christmas sweaters despite it being already too stuffy in this grease trap. Still he had to come, otherwise he would be fired. The cephalopod grabbed the neck of the sweater and tugged on it, only to feel more itchy in the process. God how he hated these parties. The same people, different day. He thought about how his high school nemesis was doing. He wondered if he was in his stupid house, decorated and his gold encrusted doorknob unibrow statue under a damn tree, just to show off. He grumbled even more, fuming over how smug squilluam must’ve been. Maybe he’d even be jealous of sandy, who was in her tree dome far away from the krusty krab, celebrating in sweet, sweet, solitude. Squidward felt his eyelids droop, clearly losing his grip on reality. He was just so tired. He almost fell over, his tentacles sore from standing around waiting for Krabs to start up this damn event instead of just talking and bribing people for their money. This year had also been extra hard on squidward, slowly developing feelings for a certain nuisance of his. He had tried so hard to stay away from spongebob, only for the stupid fry cook to cling onto him even more causing him to become even more detached and distant hurting the poor sponge’s feelings. It wasn’t squidwards fault spongebob kept coming back, it wasn’t his fault that every single thing that sponge did felt like his heart would open up just a bit more causing him to feel..well something he just didn’t want to think about.

“Alright, Alright! Let’s get this party started! Spongebob! Patrick! Squidward! Plankton! Get over here!”

Eugene called out to his employees, Patrick, and arch nemesis.

The Crustacean was nervous, this was the end of a decade, he wanted it to go perfect.

///////////////

Spongebob and Patrick:”It's shaping up to be a wonderful holiday,Not your normal, average, everyday”

Squidward: “Sounds like someone fell my old coral tree, Spongebob, Patrick, why'd you do this to me?”

Spongebob and Patrick: “The world feels like it's in loverly..”

Squidward: “Go away before I harm you bodily!”

Spongebob and Patrick: This Christmas feels like the very first Christmas to me. There'll be shopping, decorating, and plenty of snow!

Spongebob: Hey Patrick, who's that under the mistletoe?

Squidward: “W-What? Who me? Would you look at the time, I should go!”

Plankton: People seem a little more brotherly

Krabs: Here's a special something to you from me

Spongebob and Patrick: Even the trash on Christmas smells sweetly! This Christmas feels like the very first Christmas to me

Spongebob: La da da da da da da la da da da da da da

Squidward: What do you want, can't you see that I'm busy?

Spongebob and Patrick: Step outside, we've got something for you to see

Squidward: Spongebob, take this stuff down immediately!

Spongebob: Chestnuts roasting and burns in the third degree

Patrick: Tonight things are as good as they seem to be, A star on top will complete all the scenery

Spongebob and Patrick: This Christmas feels like the very first Christmas to me

everyone: This Christmas feels like the very first Christmas to me

///////////////

“Great work everyone! Now back to your regularly scheduled activities.” Mr. krabs demanded.

Plankton and Krabs went off to the side to discuss things, while Karen was a DJ at the party. Patrick went off to get some food.

Leaving me to go back to the pillar, with a nautical nonsensical nimrod behind me.

“Spongebob, go away. Don’t you have somebody else to annoy?”

“The party just started squidward and I was hoping to talk to you, we haven’t talked in months and I—

“White angelfish exchange!” Mr. krabs announced just in time for me to escape the moron’s interrogation.

“Aren’t you part of that event spongebob? Oh goodness me, I wouldn’t want to keep you from attending..”

“B-but squidward I’m not part of the—

“No, no I insist!”

I said as I pushed him towards the crowd. I felt bad, but it was every fish for themself.

He looked back at me with those ocean blue eyes of his dejectedly, I felt awful, but I only plastered a fake smile on and waved him off.

Why do I keep doing this? Was there really any point in shoving spongebob away? All it did was make me feel miserable... I felt my chest tighten and my legs wobble, I decided to get punch, only to stay there for a couple of hours and somehow get dragged into listening to people sing terribly. As the night went on, I kept watching spongebob’s feeble attempts to talk to me, part of me almost wished it worked. Still, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. He deserved better then me. Everyone did.

After awhile of standing near the punch bowl, Mr. K came up to me and started going on about spongebob, I couldn’t quite understand what he was trying to say, but I just nodded my head anyway. Only for him to shove me towards spongebob, causing me to bump into him and spill the punch on spongebob.

It splashed and covered his sweater causing me to feel like the worst person ever, his sweet little eyes looking at me..he’s just so innocent..I felt my heart beating in my head. Blushing I turned away apologizing briefly before starting to walk away.

“Squidward why are you ignoring me?”

Spongebob asked, instantly causing everyone to quiet down and gather around us. I felt my self losing it as I continued to avoid making any contact. Suddenly ink came out..a primal defense system I had. Mr krabs and plankton were luckily prepared for it so no one had to evacuate.

I ran into the bathroom after that.

He made me happy and feel like everything..it scared me.

It scared me so much.

I ended up in a stall, curled up on a toilet seat, crying silently, my face was burning up and my tears wouldn’t stop.

These loud, loud, thoughts wouldn’t shut up.

///////::///:::::/:

“What am I doing wrong? Why does he hate me so much?”

Mr. krabs and spongebob sat in a corner of the Krusty krab, less crowded than most of the other areas. Krabs silently counting his money and listening to spongebob.

“It’s not as bad as you make it up to be lad.” Mr. Krabs reassured as he placed down his nickels and dimes in stacks.

“You’re right, it’s even worse then I feared!” Spongebob cried out

Customers turned their heads towards the distraught sponge, concerned as mr. Krabs tried to shush him up.

“E-Eh! Nothing to worry about folks, just go back to whatever it is you were doing!”

Everyone immediately went back to chattering amongst themselves after that.

“Look boyo, you can’t go around scaring me customers like that! I’m sure whatever it is going on between you and Mr. squidward will be resolved soon.”

“Really?” Spongebob looked at mr. Krabs tears in his eyes

Mr. Krabs sighed as smiled down at the fry cook, he really was like a son to him.

“I promise, it’s ok spongebob.”

Spongebob wiped away the few stray tears that managed to escape, he felt himself smile. Thanking his boss for the pep talk he went towards plankton next who currently chatting with Karen.

“Hey plankton, hey Karen..”

“Oh hey spongebob, you seem..quiet.” Plankton said awkwardly

“Sheldon!” Karen warned

“What? It’s true!” Plankton argued

“He’s right Karen, no need to apologize plankton.” Spongebob said as he tried to avoid conflict.

“Anyway what brings you to us?” Karen questioned

“Uh..I’m guessing you saw what happened with..” spongebob didn’t finish hoping Karen would get it.

“Squidward? Tall, skinny, depressing employee that left a mess for my husband and Krabs to clean up?”

“Y-yep that’s the one!” Spongebob said feeling flustered.

“Hmm my sensors indicate that you are having emotional trouble with squidward.”

“Problems? Ha! No, me and squidward...? Are you kidding! Me and...”

Spongebob was throwing out excuses left and right finding himself become more flustered and unhappier with each one until finally Karen put a robotic hand on him and stopped him completely.

“It’s ok.”

“I-it is?”

“Yes, spongebob.”

“W-what do I do now?”

“Talk to him.”

Taking a deep breath spongebob nodded quietly and glanced up at Karen’s screen smiling.

“Okay.”

As the yellow sponge walked through the crowd, immediately Karen called up sandy, waiting until the third ring, she picked up.

“Sandy! I need you to come down to the Krusty krab immediately.”

“Oh! Of course I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

//////////////

Squidward still feeling the tears slide down his cheeks, in his stall, heard the familiar squeaks enter the bathroom as spongebob walked a bit further until he was right in front of his stall.

“Squidward?” Spongebob asked, hoping that the octopus would answer him.

No reply, he sighed and felt himself sit against the door of the stall despite it being a bathroom, but around Christmas time events luckily mr. Krabs made sure the floor was sparkling so..it wasn’t exactly dirty.

Squidward’s thoughts continued getting louder, questioning, Why couldn’t he just go away already? why must he come in here and torment me even more? I’m not a good friend, I’m not a good neighbor, I’m not good enough! I’ve never been anything but selfish! Squidward felt his heart crumble in on itself even more, tears dripping down onto the floor.

As each tear hit the floor, spongebob felt his heart breaking, he wanted to help and they both knew that. Yet still spongebob didn’t dare move in fear of something happening to squidward.

“Let me help you, please..I want to know what I did wrong...”

“Y-you’ve done nothing, just go away.”

“B-but squidward I—

“Spongebob! Mr. Squidward! I need you two out here on the main deck!”

Squidward wiped his tears and cleaned up as much as he could. He made his way towards the bathroom exit with Spongebob close behind him.

As soon as they got out they were pushed into the middle of a circle, people dancing and laughing while Christmas music played in the background. Mr. Krabs glared at his two employees to dance, causing spongebob to immediately perk up and start dancing despite the few seconds prior. Squidward rubbed his eyes and started dancing, not putting much effort into it and unaware of what was going on above them. On the planks of the ceiling sat sandy with a intercom, ready for Karen’s cue.

She wanted them to be really into the party so she changed the music into a full on blast, suddenly someone bumped into squidward, everyone started laughing and dancing and chatting and suddenly, squidward was actually having fun. He was laughing and spongebob was too.

When Karen finally saw them comfortable, she gave the signal and had sandy lower the mistletoe. It was right above them. Everyone stopped dancing, and eventually so did the two employees.

“Hey why did everyone stop dancing?” Spongebob asked completely oblivious

Spongebob glanced over and saw squidward’s face, completely red.

“Squidward! You’ve gone red! Have you caught a fever?” Spongebob said as he quickly put a hand to squidward’s forehead checking, everyone sighed and rolled their eyes, but Karen had planned for this, so she quickly cued up the song and played it.

The moment the three notes started playing, spongebob immediately knew what was going on and he looked up, sweating and blushing. He looked back at squidward to see his embarrassed expression and he felt his stomach tighten.

He stepped forward and saw Patrick was in front with Krabs, pearl, and plankton. His shoes squeaked and he stopped, and looked at squidward.

“H-hey Patrick, w-who’s that under the mistletoe?”

Spongebob grinned just a bit, a nervous smile as his face went redder.

Squidward pauses and looked at everyone, the mistletoe, and then back at spongebob. Who’s face was a tomato.

“W-what? Who? Me? Would you look at the time..I s-should go!”

Spongebob looked at him and squidward looked back. Suddenly squidward felt himself moving towards spongebob on his own, stupid feelings betraying him! He kissed him first, surprising spongebob and everyone around them. He watched as spongebob’s eyes widened and his face only getting redder, making squidward blush even more as well. They pulled away and squidward’s face was on fire. He stepped back and so did spongebob. He waited and the response was the little yellow sponge putting the pieces in place slowly.

“That’s why you haven’t been talking to me, avoiding me, telling me to go.”

“Isn’t it?” Spongebob asked

Squidward swallowed a bit and laughed awkwardly as he answered with a quick

“Y-yes.”

“You..like me?”

“Yes.”

“You? Like..me?” Spongebob questioned again with a bit more shock this time

“Yes.”

“Me?!” He asked again his face really red and squidward’s was too.

“YES SPONGEBOB YOU! I LIKE YOU!”

Squidward yelled feeling his face burning.

“Oh.”

“Sponge—

“Mmmph?!” Squidward was very confused, as he was cut off.

He pulled away from squidward laughing a bit and smiled at him.

“Sorry, I forgot to say..I like you too.”

“You’re such a moron.”

“But I’m your moron!”

“Whatever.”

Squidward smiled and laughed, along with the rest of the bikini bottom as they continued being joyful for the rest of the evening.

order of the phoenix book moments

“listening to the news! again?” “well, it changes every day, you see”

vernon: we’re not stupid harry: WeLL tHaT’s nEwS tO mE

“did he say you look like a pig that’s been taught to walk on its hind legs? ’cause that’s not cheek, dud, that’s true.”

“not this brave at night, are you?” “this is night, diddykins. that’s what we call it when it goes all dark like this.”

“what d’you mean, i’m not brave when i’m in bed? what am i supposed to be frightened of, pillows or something?”

“fought ’em off, did you, son? gave ’em the old one-two?” “you can’t give a dementor the old one-two”

tonks sending the dursleys a letter telling them they’d been short listed for the (non-existent) all-england best kept suburban lawn competition to keep them out the house so they could rescue harry

“snape’s on our side now” “doesn’t stop him being a git”

“dumbledore says he doesn’t care what they do as long as they don’t take him off the chocolate frog cards”

“kreacher lives to serve the noble house of black—” “and it’s getting blacker every day, it’s filthy”

arthur and kingsley’s fake chat at the ministry

“if you can get away before seven, molly’s making meatballs.”

‘a powerful emotion had risen in harry’s chest at the sight of dumbledore, a fortified, hopeful feeling rather like that which phoenix song gave him.’

“you got our message that the time and place of the hearing had been changed?” “i must have missed it, however, due to a lucky mistake i arrived at the ministry three hours early”

“a prefect! that’s everyone in the family!” “what are fred and i, next-door neighbours?”

harry’s personal growth moment where he realises he is happy for ron being made prefect and beating him at something for the first time, and that harry isn’t any better than him

luna: you’re harry potter harry: i know i am

neville saying “i’m nobody” and ginny being like “no you’re not” ugh we stan this friendship

the quibbler’s article on whether sirius is a notorious mass murderer or innocent singing sensation

“i, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that i, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments.” “yeah, but you, unlike me, are a git, so get out and leave us alone.”

‘luna did not seem perturbed by ron’s rudeness; on the contrary, she simply watched him for a while as though he were a mildly interesting television programme.’

“i told her to keep her big fat mouth shut about you, actually. and it would be quite nice if you stopped jumping down our throats, harry, because in case you haven’t noticed, ron and i are on your side.”

“i dreamed i was playing quidditch the other night, what do you reckon that means?” “probably that you’re going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something”

“have a biscuit, potter.”

hermione knitting hats for the house-elves

“they didn’t look anything like hats to me, more like woolly bladders.” hermione did not speak to him all morning.

harry and ron meeting each other in the hallway, both trying to hide something but failing, harry being excited that ron wants to join the quidditch team, and ron noticing harry’s injury and being horrified we love this friendship

“ron had been honest with him, so he told ron the truth”

harry’s excellent attempt at writing a letter to sirius without obscurely revealing anything in case it got intercepted

“if you want to ‘sever ties’ with me, i swear i won’t get violent.”

“yeah, quirrell was a great teacher, there was just that minor drawback of him having lord voldemort sticking out of the back of his head.”

“i was just wondering, professor, whether you received my note telling you of the date and time of your inspec—” “obviously i received it, or i would have asked you what you are doing in my classroom” minerva strikes again

luna: the ministry’s got an army of heliopaths neville: an army of what luna: great flaming creatures that gallop across the ground burning everyth— hermione: they don’t exist, neville luna: oh yes they do

harry pretending to be ill so he could skip history of magic and find someone to help hedwig

“i can’t see any boils” “no, well, you wouldn’t, they’re not in a place we generally display to the public.” “but they make sitting on a broom a right pain in the—”

“the DA’s good, only let’s make it stand for dumbledore’s army, because that’s the ministry’s worst fear, isn’t it?”

hermione making the fake galleons and everyone being like what because it’s NEWT level magic

‘even fred had said that ron might yet make him and george proud, and that they were seriously considering admitting he was related to them, something they assured him they had been trying to deny for four years.’

“hey, potty, i heard warrington’s sworn to knock you off your broom on saturday” “warrington’s aim’s so pathetic i’d be more worried if he was aiming for the person next to me” god i love harry in this book

luna’s lion hat: “i wanted to have it chewing up a serpent to represent slytherin, you know, but there wasn’t time.”

dobby decorating the room of requirement with baubles of harry’s face saying ‘have a very harry christmas’

“ron, you are the most insensitive wart i have ever had the misfortune to meet.” it’s not true but it’s funny lmao

harry: next minute she’s crying all over me and i didn’t know what to do ron: don’t blame you, mate

‘that’s what they should teach us here, how girls’ brains work… it’d be more useful than divination, anyway…’

“i didn’t want anyone to talk to me” “well, that was a bit stupid of you, seeing as you don’t know anyone but me who’s been possessed by you-know-who, and i can tell you how it feels.” “i forgot” “lucky you”

sirius singing ‘god rest ye, merry hippogriffs’

arthur using stitches on his snake bites and molly exploding “it sounds as though you’ve been trying to sew your skin back together… WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THAT’S THE GENERAL IDEA?”

harry trying to distract the others when he realises neville’s parents are in the same ward that they are in, so neville can leave unnoticed

harry being oblivious to the fact cho wants to go to hogsmeade with him for valentine’s day

“if we can’t trust dumbledore, we can’t trust anyone.”

harry being oblivious (the sequel) and telling cho he was meeting hermione after their date, bless my son he’s trying his best

“why does she always want to drag up a subject that makes her act like a human hosepipe?”

‘hermione was sitting at a table with the unlikeliest pair of drinking mates he could ever have imagined: luna lovegood and none other than rita skeeter, one of hermione’s least favourite people in the world.’

“cho? a girl?” “it’s none of your business if harry’s been with a hundred girls” this is my favourite version of hermione

“it might have been a good idea to mention how ugly you think i am, too,” hermione added as an afterthought. “but i don’t think you’re ugly”

“she’s been breaking into your broom shed in the garden since the age of six and taking each of your brooms out in turn when you weren’t looking”

“if zacharias smith beats us i might have to kill myself.” “kill him, more like”

“hermione, you’re good on feelings and stuff, but you just don’t understand about quidditch.” “maybe not, but at least my happiness doesn’t depend on ron’s goalkeeping ability.”

‘out of respect for his feelings, harry waited a while before going up to the dormitory himself, so that ron could pretend to be asleep if he wanted to.’

dumbledore choosing firenze to teach divination knowing full well umbridge hated half-breeds

kingsley, dumbledore and mcgonagall’s genius way of saving the situation in dumbledore’s office after the DA meetings had been uncovered

“well, usually when a person shakes their head, they mean ‘no’. so unless miss edgecombe is using a form of sign-language as yet unknown to humans—”

“i have absolutely no intention of being sent to azkaban. i could break out, of course—but what a waste of time, and frankly, i can think of a whole host of things i would rather be doing.”

all the teachers pretending they couldn’t get rid of the fireworks to make umbridge run around the entire school to do so

“i could have got rid of the sparklers myself, of course, but i wasn’t sure whether or not i had the authority.”

“give five signs that identify the werewolf. one: he’s sitting in my chair. two: he’s wearing my clothes. three: his name’s remus lupin.”

“the thing about growing up with fred and george, is that you sort of start thinking anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve.”

“you’d need more than a good sense of fun to liaise with my uncle, good sense of when to duck, more like.”

“are you quite sure you wouldn’t like a cough drop, dolores?”

“he has achieved high marks in all defence against the dark arts tests set by a competent teacher.”

“this boy has as much chance of becoming an auror as dumbledore has of ever returning to this school.” “a very good chance, then”

“she hated him!” “nah, she didn’t”

“your father was the best friend i ever had and he was a good person. a lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. he grew out of it.”

“give her hell from us, peeves.”

the catchphrase “one more lesson like that and i might just do a weasley” being a trend

‘umbridge-itis’

harry witnessed professor mcgonagall walking right past peeves, who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier, and could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth, “it unscrews the other way.”

WEASLEY IS OUR KING

the fifth and seventh years starting a black-market trade selling ‘brain stimulants’ for the exams

“i don’t care if my tea-leaves spell die, ron die—i’m just chucking them in the bin where they belong.”

‘even through his anger and impatience, harry recognised hermione’s offer to accompany him into umbridge’s office as a sign of solidarity and loyalty.’

ginny’s notorious bat bogey hex

“we were all in the DA together, it was all supposed to be about fighting you-know-who, wasn’t it? and this is the first chance we’ve had to do something real—or was that all just a game or something?”

“you do care, you care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.”

“by all means continue destroying my possessions, i daresay i have too many.”

“in the end, it mattered not that you could not close your mind. it was your heart that saved you.”

‘sirius seemed a million miles away already; even now a part of harry still believed that if he had only pulled back that veil, he would have found sirius looking back at him, greeting him, perhaps, with his laugh like a bark…’

flitwick leaving a patch of the swamp as a monument to fred and george, and because it was “a really good bit of magic”

“you’re dead, potter.” “funny, you’d think i’d have stopped walking around…”

mgonagall arriving back at hogwarts just as snape tries to take points from gryffindor like ‘no bitch, they can have 500 points instead for fighting death eaters’

‘professor mcgonagall was clearly heard to express a regret that she could not run cheering after umbridge herself, because peeves had borrowed her walking stick.’

“i expect what you’re not aware of would fill several books, dursley”

“are you threatening me, sir?” “yes, i am,” said mad-eye, who seemed rather pleased that uncle vernon had grasped this fact so quickly.

“do i look like the kind of man who can be intimidated?” “yes, i’d have to say you do” moody just ended this book with three straight burns

(Some of) My Favourite Quotes from the How To Train Your Dragon movies

“This is Berk.”

“There’s Fishlegs, Snotlout, the Twins, Ruffnut and Tuffnut, and...*voice crack* Astrid. *cue heart eyes*”

"You sir, are playing a dangerous game. Keeping this much raw... Viking-ness... contained?! THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES!" // “I’ll take my chances.”

"Well, between you and me, the village could do with a little less feeding, don't you think?"

“Excuse me, barmaid! I’m afraid you’ve brought me the wrong offspring - I ordered an extra large boy with beefy arms, extra guts and glory on the side! This here? This is a talking fish bone!”

"It's not so much what you look like, it's what's inside that he can't stand."

“You need to stop all...this.” // “You just pointed to all of me.” // “Yes, that’s it! Stop being all of you.”

"Oh, the gods hate me. Some people lose their knife, or their mug. No, not me. I manage to lose an ENTIRE DRAGON?!"

"Oh, man! I should've gone first! 'Cause I was thinking, you know, we have a surplus of dragon-fighting Vikings, but do we have enough... Bread-making Vikings? Or small-home-repair Vikings?"

"Yeah, it's only fun if you get a scar out of it."

“Yeah, no kidding, right? Pain, love it."

“What’s the first thing you’re going to need?” // “A doctor?!?”

“Get back to bed, ya overgrown sausage!”

"Toothless? I could've sworn you had... teeth."

“Ha! It’s like the size of my- AHHHH!”

“I AM HURT, VERY MUCH HURT!”

"Everything we know about you guys is wrong."

“SON OF A HALF TROLL, RAT EATING MUNGE BUCKET!”

"Uh, you're right, you're right, you're right. I'm through with the lies. I've been making... outfits. So, you got me. It's time everyone knew. Drag me back. Go ahead. Here we go."

"OW! Why would you DO that?!"

"That's for the lies! And that's... [Drops the butt of her axe on Hiccup's groin]... for everything else!"

“Da-da-da, we’re dead!”

“And now the spinning. Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile.”

[Punches Hiccup] "That's for kidnapping me... [Kisses him on the cheek] That's for everything else."

“They’ve killed hundreds of us-!” // “And we’ve killed thousands of them!”

“You’re not a Viking. You’re not my son.”

“Three hundred years and I’m the first Viking who wouldn’t kill a dragon.” // “...First to ride one though.”

“I wouldn’t kill him because he looked as frightened as I was...I looked at him, and I saw myself.”

“So? What are you gonna do?”

“I knew it. I’m dead.”

“That’s for scaring me!” // “What, is it always going to be this way, this-?!” // *kisses him* // “I...could get used to it.”

“THAT’S MY FUTURE DAUGHTER IN LAW!!!”

"Oh, what? You want an apology? Is that why you're pouting, big baby-poo?"

"Well try this on! [hugs him, tries to wrestle with him] Oh, you feeling it yet? Huh? Picking up on all of my heartfelt remorse?"

“He's down! Oh, and it's ugly! Dragons and Vikings, enemies again! Locked in combat to the bitter--[Toothless pins Hiccup] --AAHHHhhhh..."

[After Toothless licks him] "You KNOW that doesn't wash out!"

"So, what should we name it?" [Toothless scratches his armpit] "Itchy Armpit it is."

“Son, we need to talk!-“ // “Not now, dad, I’ve got a whole day of goofing off to get started.”

“What you’re searching for isn’t out there, Hiccup - it’s in here. Maybe you just don’t see it yet.”

(Slow motion) “Oh my 😏 me likey... take me...!”

"I don't know. It's kind of hard to wrap my head around, to be frank. It's not everyday you find out your mother is some kind of... crazy, feral, vigilante dragon lady." // “Well...at least I’m not boring!”

“...he got me back. Right, bud? You couldn't save all of me, could you? You just had to make it even. So,..peg leg!”

"Never take a toy from a dragon. Don't you know anything?"

“This is why I never married - this, and one other reason.”

“You’re as beautiful as the day I lost you.”

"That's your mother?" // “Well, now you see where I get my dramatic flair!"

“May the Valkyries welcome you and lead you through Odin's great battlefield. May they sing your name with love and fury, so that we might hear it rise from the depths of Valhalla and know that you've taken your rightful place at the table of kings. For a great man has fallen: A warrior. A chieftain. A father. A friend.

“He always said you’d become the strongest of them all - and he was right.”

“You have the heart of a Chief and the soul of a dragon”

“A Chief protects his own.”

“It wasn’t your fault, bud...they made you do it...please, you’re my best friend...my best friend.”

"Yeah! Take 'em down, babe!"

“Now do you get it? This is what it is to earn a dragons loyalty!”

“He’s challenging the Alpha!” // “To protect you!”

“See..I told you it was in here.” (Punches his suit, making his wings sprout up)

“The Chief has come home!”

"This is Berk. A bit trampled and busted and covered in ice, but it's home. It's our home. Those who attacked us, are relentless, and crazy. But those who stopped them, oh, even more so! We may be small in numbers, but we stand for something bigger than anything the world can pin against us. We are the voice of peace, and bit by bit, we will change this world. You see, we have something they don't. Oh, sure, they have armies, and they have armadas. But we... we have... OUR DRAGONS!”

“Ohhh I know you’re a demon, no human legs are that skinny!”

“That’s really just a nitwit who forgot to fire proof his butt.”

“Astrid, I had him right where I wanted him.” // “And now he’s right where I wanted him.”

“I thought this was supposed to be a stealth mission?” // “Yeah, they always start that way.”

“Mmm, gorg-e-ousss...Watch the hair!”

“Hang up those saddles and get married.” // Tuffnut: “The M word.” // Ruffnut: “Gross. Unless it’s me.”

“Marry him, please. You’re the only one with any sense around here. With you wearing the pants, there’s still hope.” “Wow, Gobber! Not awkward at all!”

“Hiccup...this is Berk, son. It’s our home.”

“Even Night Furies?” // “Especially Night Furies.” // “Those are scary!”

“Well, we could just take Gobber’s advice and tie the knot. That should fix everything! But hey, if you’re having doubts about yours truly, I’m sure Snotlout is still available.” // “He only has eyes for your mom.” // “OH, playing dirty now, huh?” // “You asked for it...looks like there might be a wedding after all...”

“Okay okay; you win! You always win!” // “You knew what you were getting into.” // “Uh-huh, right.”

“It’s more like a Bright Fury-.” // “A Light Fury!” // “...Yeah, yours is better, probably...”

“Bud, what’s gotten into you? What is all this slobbering and panting?” // “Isn’t it obvious? He’s in love!” // “Trust me, relationships are nothing but pain and misery. (*Astrid lightly hits him*) Ow... What did I just say?!”

“Show these nay sayers, of which there are many, that you are more than just a malnourished runt with bad hair, strange teeth and a twig for a neck.” // “You're-you're really bad at pep talks.”

“I'll give him a piece of my mind. And by mind, I mean fist!”

“Did you miss the part where we almost died? Have you seen my house?”

“Look, I know this is our home - my father left me to protect it. But Berk is more than this place. WE are Berk! The people, the dragons! I say Berk is wherever we go!”

“We have to fight for their freedom.”

“Furies mate for life, you see.”

“Ah don’t mind him - it’s not your fault you have the body of a Norse God. I myself have that same problem.” (Tries to flex, back cracks painfully)

“Who died and made you Chief?” (*everyone groans/Gothi hits him*)

“Can we lose the whole honking goose thing? It’s hard to imagine wedded bliss with that going off every minute.”

“I’ll go with you, for protection-.” // “(quickly) NO...(pause)...you’re far too important here.”

“Oh, now you can draw!”

“Save it for your girlfriend! Go on, get out of here!”

“About that leg...lose the limp, no ones gonna marry that.” // “I have a prosthetic leg!” // “Yeah, and I have a parasitic twin but you don’t see me limping around about it!”

“I feel like how Ruffnut feels every day: dumb.”

“Odin be spanked!”

“I try to avoid looking at her because she gives me acid reflux.”

“If they’re stuck with Ruffnut, I’m more worried about them.”

“I know what you're thinking. You've never had a prisoner this hot.”

“Oops, you let the dragons out! They’re gonna get you, no this ones gonna get you...!”

“Now that’s a king.”

“Dad? Are you gonna get us a new mom?” // “I don’t want another. Your mum was the only woman for me. She was the love of my life. But with love comes loss, son. It’s part of the deal. Sometimes it hurts, but in the end, it’s all worth it. There’s no greater gift than love.”

“Well, you’re right. You’re back to where you started. But I was the first to believe in you, and I have watched you doubt whether you’re worthy ever since. I am the person I am today because of you. I never told you that but it’s true. You’re the bravest, most stubborn, determined knucklehead I know. Toothless didn’t give you that, Hiccup. He just made it...” // “Easier.”

“So what are you gonna do about it?” // “Probably something stupid.” // “That’s the Hiccup I know.”

“You’re right, bud. It’s time. I was so busy fighting for a world that I wanted, I didn’t think about what you needed. You’ve looked after us for long enough. Time to look after yourselves.”

“Oh, Stormfly...my good girl.”

“So long...you big ugly beast. I’ll miss you.”

“Go on, bud. Lead them to the Hidden World. You’ll be safe there. Safer than you could ever be with me. It’s okay. I love you too. And I want you to be free. Our world doesn’t deserve you. Yet.”

“Go, Toothless...Go.”

“There were dragons when I was a boy. Ah, there were great, grim sky dragons that nested on the clifftops like gigantic, scary birds. Little, brown, scuttly dragons that hunted down the mice and rats in well-organized packs. Preposterously huge sea dragons that were twenty times as big as the big blue whale. Some say they crawled back into the sea, leaving not a bone nor a fang for men to remember them by. Others say they were nothing but folktales to begin with. I’m okay with that.”

“He’s not going to eat your father!”

“Legend says that when the ground quakes, or lava spews from the earth, it’s the dragons, letting us know they’re still here, waiting for us to figure out how to get along. Yes, the world believes the dragons are gone, if they ever existed at all. But we Berkians, we know otherwise. And we’ll guard this secret until the time comes when dragons can return in peace.”