Im going to delete this probably but gihasm ns4w below

The first time they all sleep together it’s… more difficult than they expect it to be. Its not like a couple adding a third— no, its all equally unfamiliar for all of them, just like their relationships are new and growing together. None of them know all the best ways of their partners get off. But scar tries to make it feel natural and fun, instead of nervous, and he ends up taking the lead, guiding them, sweet talking in mumbo’s ear while he shows him how to slick his fingers and open grian up in a way that pulls out all his breathy moans and makes him arch up to force their fingers deeper into him. Then he sweet talks and caresses grian as mumbo ‘makes love’ to him (Mumbo’s phrasing, not theirs) and scar guides grian’s hand to his dick while kissing his neck. Its not that theyre shy (well they are a little, but its not the only reason) … but its hard to concentrate on two people at the same time, especially when everythings so new, and scar helps facilitate that

Eventually they get over needing scar’s encouragements (although theyre very much appreciated), and they go on dates just for the excuse of taking fancy clothes off each other in a tactile frenzy. And they start to fuck each other seperately more often

Grian and scar, for reasons, often do it in his mayoral office? Grian walks in, subtly locks the door and then just sits on scars desk for a while making idle chat (“oh, are you too busy?”) and then in a moment’s notice, switching over to sit in his lap (“well, ill wait here until yours not busy”) until Scar simply cant ignore him. Then they fuck on scar’s paperwork and make a big mess of things.

Grian does that with Mumbo in his lab, but Mumbo just moves them to the floor or carries him to bed, refusing to break his projects with Grian’s nonsense. Its sweet and grian likes being carried, burying his face in his neck (maybe sucking a bruise while hes there)

And scar and mumbo,,, they have the slowest, sweetest love making (with mumbo refusing to call it anything else) after making out for a bit. Scar can always tell with mumbo when he’s in the mood, bc he gets more touchy, more in scar’s personal space without asking. It sets him on fire, and he coos sweet nothings to him until mumbo finally pulls him towards him, and kisses him. Theyre favorite spot (outside of their usual beds) is the living room sofa after watching a movie together.

Oh gods im sorry i dont know why i wrote this

@megatraven since your heart is tender from Astraeus,,I thought about Zeus all night lol. Basically, this is my petition to get a Zeus route after idk how many years AFK has been out for and its a mess lol. 

Zeus would TOTALLY take MC to the zoo. Not just for MC to look at the animals, but ALSO because when the lions come to him, he’d puff out his chest and be like “yeah. The tigers like me. I’m the king,” and act like a Chad. 

Whenever Zeus first fell for MC, there’s no way he accepted it. Like, he’s the King of Godsss, and he’s like, “Me? Love a human? Never.” And then he remembers his past and how,,um,,not adding up BUT ANYWAYS he doesn’t believe he loves her and pushes his feelings down. Like almost everyone in AFK does. And he doesn’t like it. At all. He doesn’t like it because he doesn’t know what to do. And like someone in one AFK route said that Zeus’s fear is weakness. So he sees this feeling as weakness because he’s not acting like himself ya know?? Quiet, spacing out, thinking of one human more often than not. THen, he catches himself once again doing things for MC. Maybe if she’s in the office and Zeus needs to see Alex for whatever reason, instead of calling them to come to him or to talk, he goes down there and goes through the office and sees MC. And he’s looking at his papers as he walks to Alexs office and everyone sits straight up when he comes in, including MC, and he likes the way her brown eyes focus on him,,

AND THEN, APHRODITE NOTICES IT AND BASICALLY MAKES FUN OF HIM EJIBKFWEJ. And it ends with Zeus and MC getting together in a bit of peace...until the Hera situation but hey no angst here...yet

MC one night stays in Zeus’s estate and she’s doing some work because Zeus is still in a long meeting (she wonders what they meet about but he wont tell her) and she starts getting sleepy and words start not making sense and shes like, “Hmm...I’ll rest my head for a moment,” and she rests her head against the headboard of the bed. And then,, Zeus comes home and he’s a little confused as to why its silent (I see MC as someone who would play some instrumental music bc I’m MC and I love orchestra music lol). He calls out to MC and gets no reply. He’s not too worried since he’s seen MC fight, he knows she can do many things. And when he gets to his room, he see’s a sight that takes his breath away and fills him with a bit of worry. He sees MC resting her head against the headboard and papers surrounding her and her computer, even some papers on the floor. He takes off his tie with a sigh and a soft laugh as he comes over to her and picks the papers off the floor and off the bed and puts them together. 

He picks up the computer (slowly, not wanting to wake up MC) and no matter how slowly he did it, MC woke up with a gasp and was confused until her eyes settled on Zeus. “Zeus? When did you get back?” He smiles as she rubs her eyes with a yawn. “I just got back. Why did you do all this?” His voice didn’t sound upset or angry, but the way his voice is made MC believe he was angry. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to get everything done tonight,” MC says, her voice in her rambling tone and Zeus realizes how he sounded. He puts everything down and comes back to her and gives her a kiss on her forehead (I want some sweet Zeus). “I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I was just,” he pauses, he looks anywhere but at her, “a little worried,” he gets out after a few moments. She smiles and kisses him on his lips. “I love you, Zeus,” she says with a smile and lovestruck face. He wears an identical one and says the same back with no hesitation. “I love you, too, MC.”

HMMM!!! SWEET ZEUS HITS THE SPOT!!! And thennn, two more ideas bc I need to get them out and don’t want to @ you too much lol. 

NOW! With the Zeus facetiming MC thing, imagine her being real sick one day. She didn’t want to go to Olympus and she just wanted to stay in bed and Alex said okay and theres no way Zeus wouldn’t let her stay home if she’s sick. He needs to make sure his human girlfriend is okay :))). However, he’s busy all day. He wants to visit her (even if she tells him no and that she doesn’t want to get him sick-) so bad and tries to but he’s always stopped by some new problem or something else to do. Zeus considers blowing it all off or just leaving for one day, but he knows he probably shouldn’t do that. Not just because MC would possibly feel guilty for him not doing something important because of her (and he doesn’t want her to feel worse) but because he knows he’d regret it the day later when he has a ton more things to do. So, he finishes them and he realizes how its like 7 PM and he’s finally done. He gets worried and decides to do something MC wanted to do with him whenever she’s not on Olympus with him. He got open his laptop and opened an app for facetiming and for once,,,

He feels anxious. He’s a little scared. He doesn’t know WHY, but this human makes him feel a little scared and worried in messing up. He hates it but loves it at the same time, so he calls her (pushing past his slight fear) and and she answers immediately with a smile. It’s a very bright smile even tho she’s sick and she looks a little distracted. “What are you doing?” MC looks up at him with the smile she uses when she’s trying to lie. “Nothing...”. Zeus looks at her and she knows he doesn’t believe it, which causes MC to sigh. “I’m doing a little bit of work,” she said as she showed a piece of paper signed by HERA. He was a little in shock but also worry.

No wonder she’d do this. She’s sick, running a fever, literally probably EXHAUSTED...yet she’s doing work. Zeus felt a little in awe at her when the shock went away. He was honestly considering going there and making her rest. “How long have you been doing work?” MC have him a reassuring look. “I only just started.” He’d probably be a little skeptical, but let it go and it went silent as he watched her write down a lot of things, mumble things she was reading, and look concentrated. And like,,just imagine him being quiet as she works and she asks him if he wants to go, but he always says “no. I like to be here,” and MC blushes really hard and tries to hide it, but she knows he can see it. aND HMM!! It’s just wholesome Meg. I love Zeus so much more than I should. And then she’d listen to his day (with the things he could tell her) and do work and he’s happy and she’s happy :))).

And my last idea was of MC being in Olympus and in Zeus’s estate and when they wake up, they give each other a kiss. They wish each other good morning, but when Zeus lays his forehead against hers, she feels really hot. And basically,,,shes sick and hes like “oh,” and doesn’t know what to do. And can’t think of too much bc my heart is too full but he’s a little worried for her literally all day, everyone wonders why Zeus is a little off his game today, and he’s just thinking of MC all day and how he cant wait to get back to her, so he can help her and protect her (even tho he can’t cuz its her own body-). But anyways,,take these nice little ideas of wholesome Zeus. It’s still so weird to imagine MC being with Zeus even if I love the idea XD. But I’m gonna go think of more Zeus and probably cry a little bit about other characters lol.

And there’s only minimal proof reading so I hope there’s no mistakes :’’).

JJP fic rec~

I decided to make a list about my personal favorite jjp fics, in honor of their comeback. I do appreciate if you share your favorites with me as well~

Also don’t forget to stream Tomorrow, Today!!  ❀ 

Okay here we go:

Citation - (college au/smut/slow burn/side markson) savage and tsundere jinyoung, only-soft-for-jinyoung jaebum… bad first impressions, and denial of feelings everywhere. sounds quite realistic huh?

Renewal - (a sequel to Citation, where jy is 25 and jb is, well much older) as good as the first one but hella more angsty (yeah i love angst) (and i literally fall in love the characterization of jinyoungie in this one)

Compass Calling (pirate au/prince!jy/pirate!jb/very well-written smut (get ready to squeeze yo ass cheeks)/angst/violence etc...) this fic is e v e r y t h i n g for me… The sexual tension between jinyoung and jaebum is so pleasurable that i cant even. you sink into the atmosphere so easily, the writer is really gifted about portraiting the scenes. it also has a very deep and sad side markson, so get your kokoro ready for this… i can talk about this fic like 9 hours but it’s not necessary bc READ IT OKAY

Better Late Than Never (college au/rich boyz/rivals/fights and angst) ENEMIES TO LOVERS IS MY KINK OKAY i will fite you. ehm let’s get back to the fic, it’s quite dynamic, i mean every second sth happens, so you don’t get bored or lose your concentration. jealous!jaebum stans will love it ( ¬‿¬) 

It has a sequel too and it’s pure angst believe me —> Pace is the Trick

 On the Road to Happiness (coffee shop au/amnesia/fluff/smut/angst/dont be surprised if you see some markjin/ plus side yugbam) Another beautiful fic… Mark is jinyoungie’s first love for a thousand years,platonically ofc, however he’s getting married with another woman and jinyoungie is his best man. and after background information takes place, shit got really real… However the real charm point of the fic is CHIC AND SEXY AND POSSESSIVE AND JEALOUS AND JY’S PEACH STAN JB. i assure that you’ll also see lots of the chin thing dsdkdkf 

I’ll End Up Like Icarus (college au/fluff/romantic comedy)  You should read it, i dont know what else to say. This fic has the most iconic lines i swear you’ll understand what i mean after you read and i like coffee; coffee is the key for everything.

Do What We Do (one shot/smut/cross dressing) get ready to quality smut to the accompaniment of jinyoung wearing a red miniskirt and lowkey but strong jjp feels, that’s all i say.

Breathless (college au/coffee shops/fluff/romantic comedy/mark and jackson are dicks) CUTEST FIC I’VE EVER READ i want to write this fic’s url on my forehead so everyone can reach this beautiful fic and we can make the world a better place i’m serious. Savage, devilish but still cute as hell jinyoung and confused-one-night-stand-boi jaebum strike again!! ((In this point i want to note that the characterization is very important for me in fanfics. I can’t read neither passive and soft jinyoung, or serious and henpecked jb fics. They’re seem so unrealistic (you know what i mean) and boring to me so i don’t enjoy reading them)) Fluffy scenes in this fic make my phone’s screen crack bc of me throwing it to the meaningless spots in my room with a stupid giggle and blush; just a friendly warning before u read…

Glass Fingertips (soulmates/marks/high school au/fluff/angst/some illnesses/dont worry noone’s gonna die) jinyoungie who has just moved in seoul is from jeju island, the place he misses the most and jaebum is his classmate, a froward boy who usually gets into fights and is not liked by much people in their school. Jinyoung has a mark on his forearm which means he has a soulmate somewhere he doesn’t know yet. He’s afraid of the power of the fate and he doesn’t want to believe that a ridiculous mark suddenly has appeared on his arm can erase all his rights to control and direct his life. 

In other words; tough guy jaebum gets soft only for our dazed and confused jinyoung.

Work Sucks (smut/comedy/non au/jjp are officially boyfriends/jb’s about to explode lol) Basicially JB and Jinyoung haven’t have sex for weeks bc of their busy schedule, finally they have a day off but fuck their luck, they’re cockblocked by the world non-stop.

Stupid Lies: Let It All Burn Down (unrequited love/childhood friends/HEAVY ANGST/love triangles) I guess you should first read the previous parts of the Bleeding Love Saga series, but this part is my favorite so i only added this one. Even though it’s not finished yet, i have high expectations about this fic. Jaebum is a softie blindly in love and Jinyoung is an asshole that i don’t understand what he’s trying to do yet, i swore him about 6 minutes per chapter i admit it. *plays kokobop* It goes down down baby~

The Tiger & The Duke (sugar daddy jb/smut/angst/jealous!jb) Fav one of my faves… I personally am not a fan of sugar daddy fics, because everything happens so fast usually; i mean the daddy is the owner of everything, one day he sees our regular boy and falls in love with him immediately, is ready to give him the world etc… But in this fic everything develops slowly for both of them. I love this. And ofc it has savage and unattached jy and jealous, short-tempered and possesive jaebum; seriously what did you expect??

Bed Sheets (prostitute!jy/sugar daddy!jb/angst/smut) rich boy JB wanted our prostitute jy to be his fake boyfriend for one week and things started to get complicated. The characters and the plot are actually similar to The Tiger and The Duke actually but i love it whatsoever.

A Certain Romance (single dad!jb/baby yugyeom/escort!jy/fluff/smut/awkward situations) I’ll just copy paste the summary because that’s it: By day, he’s a top-rated babysitter. By weekends he’s an x-rated escort. These things are generally kept separate, until the day his weekend regular gets his phone number by recommendation and calls for an emergency babysitter. The problem is that Jaebum doesn’t know that Junior the escort is also Jinyoung the babysitter.In which Jaebum and Jinyoung know each other in the biblical sense but maybe want to get to know each other, too.

Also baby yugyeom is too precious for this world.

Walls of Glass (ABO dynamics/tattoos/omega!jb/alpha!jy/enemies to you’ll see/smut) This one is probably my favorite A/B/O universe fic. Jaebum’s family which is the number one enemy of jinyoung’s family (which is a new-house), is an old-house one and has been pure blood alpha for hundreds of years and everyone was sure jaebum is an alpha too, until suddenly the omega tattoo appeared on his neck in the middle of his alpha class. (I’m a simple person; if there’s tsundere jinyoung, sign me in)

The Buckwheat Flower (historical/war/one shot) It’s sad. It’s really sad. It leaves you purposeless. If you’re already sad don’t read it because tears won’t stop. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that very scene.

Hypersystem (sci-fi/unrequitted love) Another fic that broke my heart so bad. You’ll enjoy it if you’re interested in math and stuff tho. Jaebum is in love with Jinyoung for years, but Jinyoung is with Mark. Any other detail i give would be spoiler so i’ll shut up.

Falsettos, Stains, and Drama (high school au/drama club/fluffromeo!jb/juliet!jy/aaaand some jealous!bambam lol /everyone is so cute and shy omg) I’ll end this rec post with a fluffy one. Where the year’s play is Romeo and Juliet and everyone becomes wholly absorbed in their role. 

tips for dealing with depression and suicidal ideation

given todays news i thought some people might need this, all of it is based of my personal experience w depression and mental illness so here goes:

things that are easy for everyone else will be insurmountable obstacles for you, people will definitely make you feel bad for this whether they intend to or not, look in a mirror and say “fuck them!” say it again, yell it as loud as you can, FUCK THEM!

you probably haven’t showered in a week and thats ok, baby wipes and dry shampoo are your friend

feeling grimy and gross will make you more depressed though, if you can get up and brush your teeth and splash water on your face you will feel better if only because you accomplished something (if you feel like brushing your teeth isn’t an accomplishment go back to tip one, it is and you are doing great!)

take care of what you can when you can, remind yourself to not feel bad for not doing what you cant today

your room/apartment/house is probably a mess, thats ok. don’t try to clean up everything at once, you will not be able to do it and you will get more depressed when you don’t succeed. clean up one (1) thing and i truly do mean one, put a dirty item of clothing where your dirty laundry goes (not a pile on the floor, get a hamper/basket/cardboard box anything that will help your brain file it as organized instead of clutter) put one cup from your room in the dishwasher. the magic of this is once you do one thing you start to feel a sense of accomplishment and the bigger tasks don’t seem as scary, before you know it all the dishes are clean or you’ve done all the laundry.

reward yourself for doing the hard stuff, even if thats just getting through another day. you do not have to suffer a certain amount before you deserve nice things that make you feel good.

get some vitamins. depression destroys whatever healthy eating habits you may have had and honestly no one is getting enough vitamins these days anyways. vitamin b and d deficiency can contribute to fatigue, chronic pain and depression. 15 minutes in the sun gets you your daily dose of vitamin d, so get a sun lamp or just sit outside once a day, you don’t have to do anything, except maybe drink some water since its july. vitamin b supplements are pretty cheap, they taste like candy and give you an immediate energy boost. a multivitamin w iron will help your body get the nutrients it needs and give you more energy as well. no vitamins wont cure mental illnesses but when your body feels physically like crap along with your mind it makes everything that much worse.

exercise if you can. the catch 22 of depression is that everything that will make you feel better is almost impossible to do when you’re depressed. the reason exercise is always recommended though is because it does help release those happy little chemicals in your brain as well as helps you form a routine. which means anything that gets your heart rate up and that you can commit to doing on a regular/semi regular schedule counts as exercise. dont think you have to become a gym rat or someone who loves running to get this benefit. anything you can do to get your body moving is a good thing.

square breathing and mindfulness will reduce tension in your body and mind (it should be noted that if you are prone to dissociation traditional mindfulness can make that worse but you can also practice a modified mindfulness while doing a task to keep you present and in your body) for square breathing- sit up straight or lie on your back and breathe in through your nose to the count of four, hold for a count of four, breathe out through your mouth to a count of four, then hold for a count of four and repeat. if you cant do a four count three or two is also fine, the idea is simply that you are breathing in and out and holding for the same count. breathe as deeply as you can from your diaphragm, since so many of us spend so much time hunched over devices and computers you may need to use a back roller or a particularly firm pool noodle to open up your chest cavity and breathe properly. (this will also help your body not feel like crap because so many people have alignment issues without even realizing it, straightened out your spine and and tailbone can affect your brain patterns so much it’s almost unbelievable) its laughable when you’re supper depressed and people try to ask you “well have you tried meditation/yoga” but yoga breathing techniques and practicing being present and feeling your body and the sensations you are experiencing is actually helpful. theres a reason yoga is such a culturally important practice that has existed for centuries and its only now that western medicine is starting to recognize the science of treatments that have long been dismissed as homeopathic folk remedies. most of my physical therapy exercises now include yoga breathing and square breathing to retrain my body’s neuromuscular patterns and they always leave me feeling better emotionally too. how you breathe really does affect your brain waves.

being present in your body is hard but it helps, turn on a fan and lie in front of it, concentrating on how the air feels on your skin, the sound of the fan that you hear, your hair moving in the breeze, reconnect with your senses and surroundings. also you get the added benefit if lying in front of a fan when its hot as hell which is always nice.

dont feel bad for wanting to hurt yourself because it will only make you want to hurt yourself more

snap a rubber band against your skin or hold ice in your hand to simulate the feelings and relief of self harm without doing permanent damage buy cheap dishes from goodwill and smash them all to relieve the impulse to destroy without hurting yourself (dont do this if youll be tempted by the sharp edges of of the broken dishes) write everything you hate about yourself, your life, and the world down, then destroy it, rip it up or burn it and breathe. imagine letting it all go. you wont let it all go but it might feel a little lighter and thats good too.

make a list of reasons to stay alive, like not some philosophical big deep reasons for living, just shit you want to do. really love marvel and cant wait to see the movies they’re releasing next? thats a reason to live. cant go to the premiere of infinity war if you’re dead.

despite what some might say feeling suicidal absolutely can be triggered by other peoples actions. this doesnt mean other people are responsible for your mental health but you don’t deserve to be treated badly because your depressed and if you’re in an abusive environment you dont deserve how you’re being treated at all, you deserve to live happily and safely.

if none of these tips work for you it’s not your fault. you’re not broken. this is what ive found helps me but treatment and recovery look different for everyone and you’re not a failure bc a list of tips didn’t cure your depression. you are trying and thats what counts. please keep trying, try someone else’s tips, try therapy, try some shit that you just made up because it hurts no one and helps you even if it feels silly. just keep trying because you are worth it.

why cant i study!!!!!

this is gonna b long, but im mad and got issues with the inclusionist side. if u got somethin 2 add (cus lets b honest this gonna b biased as fuck bc i only interact with the worst of the inclusionists so i probs wont see the worst of the exclusionists) feel free to add it, id appreciate it and would b relieved 2 b proved wrong if u actually can prove it. (tldr; is at the end of the post)

tw: uncensored q slur, swearing, bold, brief nazi & concentration camp mentions

when talking about ace discourse, it is a intracommunity issue. its all lgbt+ people arguing with each other because of how they see things differently. so when addressing the discourse as a whole you have to acknowledge all the sides of it, because there isnt just one. that being said you can still discuss the issues that inclusionists have and the issues exclusionists have just talking about in those groups seperately. i see a lot of posts that discuss the “entirety of the discourse” but just talk about the opposing views they have. thats created a whole bunch of different standards each side has been held accountable for.

this post by @dogsanddiscourse is a great example of how each side is held to different standards. those who participate in the discourse on the inclusionist side do tend to ignore the issues on their side. even when shown how it can be problematic, a majority will still not acknowledge it. a good example of this is the CAH discourse. both sides made a cardcast discourse pack (exclusionists, and the 2 inclusionist ones x  x ) and there was plenty of talk about them. for instance the deck made by @x-q-u-e-e-r-x which featured many slurs (none of which have been used in ace discourse) had many people reblog and support it, where as the exclusionist deck got flack for including ace and aro identities. i have pointed out to people that some cards in the inclusionist pack were iffy at best, and no one has yet to acknowledge that. if you have a issue with something (cah discourse packs) you should acknowledge both sides who are doing it, not just the opposite side. (another example if u wanna look at smthing real bad is everything to do with discourseshit)

what i really hate the most is that you cant ask inclusionists to take a look at what someone is doing without 1) “attacking all aces and aros” 2) “accusing a entire side for one persons actions” 3) “being a bigot”.

people (not everyone!! but there are people who rb from these blogs) are continuously reblogging from people who have said straight up homophobic things like acerecourse, uninueclus, wetwareproblem, golbatgender / periegesisvoid, myidentityisnotaslur / memestealingasexuals, featherinmycapandcheese, and ppl like tenichyfingers, theangrybi / robotbisexual, kuroba101, drg-aido, vaspider, strategicgoat, juunkrat (who i havent seen in the discourse tag for a while, but this is why i dont like them) i could go on. there are many popular inclusionist blogs that people will continuously reblog from and support no matter how many times they will be called out. but, on the other side. as soon as a exclusionist has done something problematic they are immediately exiled and cut off (which is toxic and a whole nother discussion for a dif post)

even when not talking about specific people but ideas and symbols inclusionists will never directly address it but instead ignore it. i havent once (pls correct me if im wrong im beggin to b wrong) seen inclusionists speak out about: the ace triangle (a direct parallel to the triangles gay people had to wear in nazi concentration camps), not calling people things they dont want to be called (queer, allosexual), using “we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it” to co-opt cishets into the lgbt+ community. where as the exclusionist side will no-platform ad ignore anyone whos been called out, (example, example (u just gotta tell me who and ill look into it), example)

tldr; i just got a huge problem with the inclusionist side cus none of nyall will take accountablity for shit u say like this. everyone just sweeps it under the rug and ignores it. its frustrating especially when people turn around and say “well ur side did this” to completely ignore the problems uve been shown. and its not even u so y r u defending them. like seriously, its not impossible for u to acknowledge that uve made mistakes, everyone does. like all i want,, if for everyone to just step up and be responsible. like, if u say shit, u gotta take shit, u cant just keep hiding and blocking. square up and take responsibility for your actions

one interesting thing i found in SB is that for its mythology, which is, Woof, the original bad guy was the fire god, not the dark one. so, passing forward to EC, Ryaris was the one who went rogue first, and then Dalace went down afterwards. And there’s the fact that the act which got her branded as a villain is specifically called a betrayal. of who?

my memory of most of the EC lore is fuzzy, but I know that Ryaris couldnt have betrayed, say, her direct elemental counterpart in the water goddess Caliyo, because she’s the one who, after the Second Event, broke Ryaris’ seal early. While that could just be a whole lot of forgiveness and an understanding of how their elements coexist, it’s more likely that Caliyo was not the one wronged by Ryaris’ actions originally. This is compared to what I later had down for EC, which is that Dalace had been bad from the word go and that Ryaris only became involved in the Second Event by trying to free her. fun!

So then the Q becomes what did Ryaris do, and who did she betray? The likely answer is she betrayed Losa, the goddess of Light. the reasons for doing so are, complicated? and have their routes in the way the elements all interact. cause the 4 standard elements are basically neutral towards eachother because while they can cancel eachother out short term, they have a ~relationship~ thats important. like, the air goddess Xen can blow out Ryaris’ flames, but her air is also responsible for flames growing in the first place, and the fires consume that air. You follow? But light and dark have a way more complicated relationship that leaves Dalace especially feeling wronged, because where light is present, dark cannot exist. dark cannot overpower light rawly, yknow? i have diagrams in my head which explain this sort of. point being, dark and light are not friend.

and that complexity extends to how the 4 elements interact w/ light and dark. Ryaris as a fire goddess mostly has vague beef with Losa, because fire creates light, doesn’t it? and light, when concentrated, can create fire. The two cannot destroy each other, their actions only fuel the other. so while in theory, on paper, theyre allies, in practice they set eachother off extremely easily. they just are not compatible personalities, their elemental dynamic personified.

which makes it easy to imagine that Ryaris, pissed off to no end by Losa’s holier than thou attitude, etc etc, decides to fuck with her. And thus, betrayal. An important aspect of this is that Ryaris was not sealed away by the gods alone, but also by a human on their side. that the conflict that spilled out from Ryaris’ actions impacted the human world in some way. So it was a very direct betrayal, going back on her word, doing what she was told not to do. Something that, even if some of her fellow gods thought the rule was bad, had to acknowledge that Ryaris had broken it. yknow. centrism. because the other gods don’t side with Ryaris. Even Dalace, who fucking loathes Losa, remains neutral. which she regrets, hence the Second Event.

So Losa tells Ryaris not to do something, Ryaris decides fuck you asshole, I’m going to do that anyway and even more, and thus, Chaos. It could lean a vague prometheus angle, like that Losa in her ~divine wisdom~ decided to impose some restriction upon humans, and Ryaris broke it. cause Losa is a hell of an individual generally, consider she decided of her own accord that she was gonna be the ‘keeper of lost souls’, like she ust. decided that. without input. and without letting anyone else even go ‘actually id like to keep the ghosts of the people who lived in my world with me, or give them a choice’ nope! Losa knows best! She’s presumably the oldest, or second oldest depending on your opinion of whether the Void is ‘dark’ or just ‘blank’.

Ryaris isn’t the oldest, obvs, or even the oldest of the elemental quartet due to fire requiring fuel (which supposes that Xen is the oldest, followed by either Ryaris or Elra the earth goddess, or possibly even that Ryaris is flat out the youngest if it goes Xen>Elra>Caliyo>Ryaris, with earth requiring water to make the like, carbon fuel, right). but the fact her power creates light lends a degree of authority. She’s in a very unique position as a goddess in that respect, since she can technically create two elements. so even though she’s either the 1st or 3rd youngest, she has that going for her. it fuels smth in her. that ability to stand up to Losa and say ‘no, fuck you’.

Maybe it does even tie into the ghost thing, or the general inability for souls and mortals to change realms (excepting all souls going to Losa’s realm). Maybe Ryaris breaks that barrier down. Maybe she creates the first portals, opens those floodgates that even Losa can’t really close. Which is even a bit of, idk, sorta dramatic irony since her creating portals directly leads to a lot of things that bring about her defeat in the Third Event (specifically Skye being a Very Weird Light Boy, Will being a Very Weird Dark Boy, and Violet being her literal lost daughter, lmao). But its also neat because in SB the method of weakening the seals was to create portals, which sorta punctured holes in the space. whch is pretty neat.

so Losa makes a decision that mortals have to stay on their world only and that when they die theyre souls come to stay in hers. While this sorta annoys all of them (who died and made her queen, whats the point of all these worlds if they cant interact, etc), Ryaris is the one who decides to act. She visits Losa’s light world full of ghosts on false pretenses (delivering some wayward souls, perhaps), sneaks in somewhere, and basically burns a hole in the fabric of space to create a portal between light world and Earth. Ryaris’ reasoning for doing this is sorta weird, but any important part of it is that with the change Losa made, only two worlds have no native inhabitants - Ryaris’ fire world, and Dalace’s dark world. To be clear, Ryaris isn’t bitter, because she made a conscious decision to not put like, sophonts on the fire world. she likes the quiet. But Ryaris likes the idea of visitors, of creating a place where people can come to see her and stay for a short while. And Losa’s decided that she literally cannot do that, and that the only people who can visit her are runaway souls (rough crowd) and the other gods. And they’re busy! Busy people! Ryaris likes the idea of the freedom of movement, probably because as a fire goddess, fire likes to just. Expand. It’s great.

so she lies to losa’s face, creates a portal, and then allie fucking oops outta there. excellent. things escalate from there as mortals start following ryaris’ example and making portals, thats the floodgates. Then Losa and co go ham, a pseudo war starts, and then eventually Ryaris gets sealed in her realm and barred from using the portals out of it. but now portals are there, and losa’s pisssssed.

dalace remains neutral in the First Event because even though she hates Losa and is against her just, by default, she’s also not... really allies with Ryaris? The enemy of my enemy is my friend, sure, but Ryaris is, as said earlier, in a very unique elemental position in that her element, fire, creates light. Dalace hates light. and so, unable to reconcile her loathing of Losa with her dislike of Ryaris, she exits the conflict and probably mopes in the dark world for its duration. The other goddesses are either neutral or side with Losa. fun times! Caliyo likely sides with Losa, but even at the early stage she regrets it. However she’s actually unable to break the first seal because it was made using, im pretty sure a water mage? I don’t honestly know if I kept track of what elements Talae and Silver were, but they were i think water and air, respectively? idk. It might make more sense if Talae is air ad Silver is water, because then Caliyo as water goddess can sorta.. ‘revoke’ Silver’s part of the seal on Ryaris after take 2. yea. i think that works.

so then the idea is that while Caliyo feels guilty because she actually agrees with Ryaris and the elemental counterpart relationship is Fun, Dalace feels guilty because she ‘let Losa win’. and spends the next few centuries weakening Ryaris’ seal so that they can get revenge. And Ryaris is down for revenge! And down for support! So she teams up with Dalace, they break her out, and cause chaos again. This time there’s no principle behind it. its just flipping the bird at losa. so while the first time around its like, Losa+Caliyo+idk, Elra, vs Ryaris, second time its Losa+Caliyo+Elra+Xen vs Ryaris+Dalace. And they get beaten and both get sealed.

At this point Ryaris decides that while she stands by her original decision to create portals, she doesn’t stand by the attempt at revenge, and she accepts being sealed as a consequence. Dalace, of course, does not. After time passes, Caliyo comes to visit Ryaris and see hows she’s doing (with Caliyo having fully forgiven her for the first thing, bc that wasnt Caliyo’s problem), and after deciding she’s appropriately sorry for what she did with Dalace’s help, leaves and weakens the seal, and some time later Ryaris is able to leave, whereupon she decides to visit the world she tried to destroy in the guise of a mortal to see whats up, whereupon she falls in love with and later marries Evelyn Nis, and the Story Persisteth.

the reason they went for fucking over the central world (earth, i guess) rather than losa’s world directly was the fact that the two of the, Ryaris and Dalace, can’t fucking touch the place. Dalace can barely even go there, fucks sake, she cant destroy it. And if Ryaris tries, it won’t work, because of the fire makes light thing. So you settle for the next best thing - the neutral world none of the goddesses rule directly, but which Losa has a great deal of influence over, because Fuck Losa.

presumably dalace’s current plan is to be a bit sneakier, and rather than appearing and trying to destroy everything, she basically wants the trick all the people into destroying it themselves, through war and so on. and so a lot fo subterfuge, and stuff. which is WHY Ryaris kidnaps Chase and Akian D’Lore - she’s ransoming the shit out of Sparklr Fountain and provoking them into accusing all their neighbours and vague enemies of being responsible. Quartai’s probably on that list which is fun. Lot happening. :)