just found out the guy i was frenemies with in middle school got a boyfriend

“Stars Aligned,” Ch 6

This is my fanfic on wattpad on @/ xTodorcki, there are currently 11 chapters posted on there and I’m slowly posting them here🥰

A/N: just a warning, you know how high school parties go🤧 a lil bit of alcohol intake, prob more dirty talk than usual, prob some drug intake— most likely only marijuana. if that bothers you, might want to skip this chapter, not much is going to be missed if you do unless you want to see some Y/N x Bakugou action🤭 Thank youuu.

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Your feet had made its way to the front of Yaoyorozu's house but you were hesitant to actually go up the steps to the front door. Her house was massive and you had to sit there in awe at it, definitely twice or even three times bigger than yours. You couldn't even imagine living in a huge house just with your dad.

You held onto your bag, finally having the courage to walk up and before you could knock on the door, it was swung open by Yaoyorozu, catching you by surprise.

"Oh hey! Come in." You stepped inside, looking around the house and seen most of the classmates in the other room.

You had second thoughts about being here, you were never the type of person to be open and thrilled about going to a party. At your old school, you had a few friends sure and there were a couple of hang outs/sleep overs but never went to a party where it had more than 10 people in it.

The bag you were holding was dropped on the floor by the door along with your shoes being kicked off your feet. You followed your classmate to the next room and said hello to everyone but Bakugou, of course, didn't say much.

You decided to be a pain and sit beside him, purposely bumping shoulders with him as you got comfortable between Bakugou and Kirishima. The small laugh couldn't help but leave your lips when you heard him mumble under his breath and try to scoot away, the couch being right from the amount of people squished together on it.

The evening went by pretty fast, the many pizza boxes were spread out across the living room and it was already getting late but it didn't bother you, which was surprising considering when you go to someone's house, you would be quick to leave by the time it hits dark but oddly enough, you felt comfortable here.

"Alright, now that it's getting dark- the real fun can begin." You glanced over at Mineta, who even invited him? You thought to yourself but this was a class 1A type party so not surprising that he would be here even without an invite.

"I hate to agree with him but we did bring games and other stuff." Denki had grabbed his bag and the cheesy grin on his face said it all, he was quick to pull out bottles of alcohol. You were caught off guard with how this took a quick turn but you were aware of the possibilities of a small high school party.

"I'm down if everyone else is." Yaoyorozu shrugged, grabbing one of the bottles out of his hands and spun the cap off.

"Maybe we should do a drinking game? Could make it more fun. Spin the bottle? That would make things interesting but could make people wasted if they decline to kiss which I'm sure most of you would." She explained, humming to herself and you sunk back into the cushions, what did I get myself into.

"Or! We could do truth or dare or shot, same as truth or dare but if you refuse to do the truth or dare, you drink." Denki spoke after she did and they got into a whole conversation about games and you started to grow nervous. This could get real awkward or real heated a little too fast and that's what made your palms sweat a bit.

You've tried alcohol, sure, if you consider stealing a sip from your dads stash then spitting it out in the sink. It wasn't a pleasant taste and now you would have to act like you actually enjoy it to not look like a wuss here.

"Are you sure we should be doing this guys? What if we somehow get caught?" Midoryia finally spoke up and even though you would hate to agree with your anxiety filled friend, you were also worried about the possibilities that could somehow happen.

"Quit being a baby! We're fine and this house is empty, it'll be fun!" Ashido had tried to reassure Midoryia but you could tell he still had that look of concern written on his face.

"Are you losers going to start or what?" Bakugou's evil grin was spread across his face, you weren't surprised at his excitement about this, he was always wanting to do something he probably shouldn't.

"Okay, we'll just start off with the truth, dare or shot first then get to the rest once we've all had our shots." Denki brought up, making everyone sit in pretty much a circle on the living room floor.

You stayed by the couch between Kirishima and Bakugou, instead on the floor with your backs pressed against the couch. Your palms were growing even more sweaty, you couldn't believe how nervous you actually were but the thought of your dad finding out was pretty scary to say the least and his punishment would definitely be hardcore training which you hated.

"I'll go first and since Midoryia is so scared, he's getting the heat first." Kaminari laughed, watching the pure panic on his face.

"Deku, truth or dare." He started off.

"Easy, truth."

"Easy? Who said I'm making this easy?"

You knew where this was going to lead to and you couldn't help but laugh at his reaction and him almost pissing his pants trying to figure out what he was going to tell him to do.

"Since you wanted truth, I want you to look around and tell us which girl you would want to date." Denki was evil, he knew deep down that Deku would panic and probably turn bright red. He also knew that Uraraka had a crush on Midoryia- you were sure the whole class knew actually.

"I- um, I don't know, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings." He began to panic and overthink the question a little too much and it was entertaining to see his eyes wonder around the room trying not to make eye contact.

"Come on! No ones feelings are going to get hurt, it's a harmless game... unless you want to take a shot?" Denki smirked, pouring a shot and sliding it across the small coffee table towards him.

It took Midoryia about five minutes and people shouting at him to decide, his panic mindset made him spiral and take the shot without realizing what he did. The look of disgust on his face made the whole room laugh as he tried his best to swallow and grab a soda, drowning down the strong bitter taste.

"Okay, Deku, your turn to ask away."

"Um, okay."

Two hours have passed and you were thankful the questions that were given weren't too much. Some were to the point where you have taken a couple of shots but altogether the whole class has taken a couple and this is where you knew things were gonna take a turn.

"Ok, I want to make things more fun. Uraraka, truth or dare." Yaoyorozu smirked at her and your eyes went wide when Uraraka had chosen dare, her first time doing so tonight.

"Okay, I dare you to kiss one of the guys, your choice but I think we all know who the obvious choice is here."

Everyone looked at Uraraka, some of the guys being dramatic and causing a scene with their quiet "oooos" and "Deku's up"

You could tell she grew quiet and nervous, she could take a shot but even you could tell that she's taken enough and on the look of her face, she didn't want to take anymore considering she almost threw up from the last shot she had to take.

She got on her feet, everyone cheering her on and your eyes trailed over to Midoryia who was trying to play dumb at the game, trying to convince himself that it wasn't him that she was going to go kiss.

And he was right, her feet made their way over to the opposite direction of Midoryia and soon, everyone's attention was on her as she stood in front of.... Bakugou???

Your eyes grew wide, looking beside you at him as he furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head repeatedly at her.

"I know damn well you're not choosing me." He stared at her, his red eyes seem to get more fiery red as her face drained with color with how much of a pain he's being.

"Trust me, I don't have a crush on you but your the only guy that won't make this weird." She leaned down, whispering under her breath towards him and he scoffed under his breath as well.

"What makes you think I want to kiss you? Out of everyone here? You? Are you an idiot?" Katsuki was fighting back and to your surprise, she didn't care and was quick to smash her lips on his and pull back less than a second later and made her way back to her spot.

You were quiet and you looked at his face, him growing red and you couldn't tell if he was mad or blushing but the small pit in your stomach, the hint of jealously that haunted over you made you want to leave and go home. It's not that you liked Bakugou, you actually hated him at times but the other times you two surprisingly got along.

The small hint of jealously that was held over your head like a dark rainy cloud was painful to even feel because there was no feelings towards Bakugou in that way, maybe it was just because Uraraka is definitely not his type and out of all the guys, she chose Katsuki.

"Uraraka, your turn."

"Oh- yeah, I guess I'll choose Bakugou then. Truth or dare."

"Dare, I'm not a wuss like the rest of these guys."

"Ok, dare. I dare you to... to..."

"Kiss Y/N! A real kiss, none of that fake pecking shit." Yaoyorozu cut Uraraka off and your eyes almost popped out of their sockets as you glared at her for even suggesting that. He just kissed Uraraka and now they want him to kiss me?????

The anger was evident on your face, Yaoyorozu knew what she was doing with this because just by the look of your face minutes before— she could tell you felt a bit jealous of Uraraka but not for the reason she thinks and that's what made you boil inside.

"Kiss this idiot? Seriously? What is it with you girls and fucking kissing?" Katsuki grew annoyed and you somewhat agreed with him, what was it about these people and kissing?

Uraraka and Bakugou weren't even the first pair to share a kiss. Just 30 minutes ago, Ashido was dared to kiss Sero which she did and now the more drinks people have, the more kissing there is.

"Y/N hasn't had any action yet! C'mon, don't be lame and kiss." Yaoyorozu argued back and this made your face heat up in embarrassment and anger.

Bakugou had glanced over at you, he was angry and you could tell. Your eyes had met but you were quick to turn away from his intense stare.

"You guys are assholes." You said aloud, shaking you head as you reached over and grabbed a shot glass, about to pour yourself one before taking the whole bottle up to your lips and took a few gulps before setting it down.

"I hate every single one of you, remember that." You mentioned again, your eyes turning to meet his again as your palms grew sweaty.

"Just know, I'll hate this more than you." Katsuki said and you shook your head.

"Doubt that. Why not just take a shot if you hate me that much?"

"I don't want another shot."

"Then why are you complaining?"

"Just shut up you idiot so we can get this over with."

"God, you piss me off, Katsuki." You rolled your eyes at him, he was either stalling or debating on taking that shot instead but it was annoying you.

"You piss me off more, don't flatter yourself."

"Oh c'mon! The tension between you two is begging for a make out session, hurry up!" Kirishima laughed and nudged you closer to Bakugou and you groaned at how stuck you were in this situation.

"Quit pressuring me, dumb ass!" Bakugou yelled and you could practically see the steam coming from his ears.

His eyes tried not to look at you but couldn't help but to make eye contact and the annoyance in the sigh he let out was loud and you started to grow uneasy and had a feeling of guilt.

Bakugou felt angry but in many different ways. He wasn't angry at you, he was more angry at these idiots for pressuring a kiss between the two of you. He doesn't like you, he never even considered liking you or kissing you but something he'll never admit is that you two did have a minor friendship there, only reason being is because he somewhat appreciated your presence after the sports festival and that's the only reason why.

Now he sat there in front of you, not wanting to go through with this stupid idea of a drinking game. He already had a handful of shots, he wasn't thrilled to take another but he wasn't thrilled to do the dare with you.

He had thought about just taking the shot and getting this dumb game over with but the thought of taking another drink of that disgusting alcohol Denki calls delicious makes him want to gag.

His red eyes stayed on yours, as if he was thinking a little too hard. He wasn't stupid, he knew why they were doing this to the both of them. Even he could tell minutes ago that you had tensed up beside him when Uraraka kissed him, even if it was a harmless peck.

Now, he wouldn't have ever done that if he was dared to kiss any of the girls here. He had standards and no one in this class was his type but the only bearable one he could somewhat handle was you.

He hated to think about it and he especially hated you deep down.

Bakugou was growing impatient, with himself because he was holding himself back from getting it over with but he just felt some type of way where he didn't even want to do this shit anymore or even be here.

As he sucked in his pride and stupid ego, his eyes staring right through your colored ones as if he was trying to read your thoughts and he hesitated before grabbing a hold of your face.

His hands were surprisingly soft but rough at the same time, he started to mumble curse words under his breath and talking about how much he hated the class and how stupid they all are.

All while his face inched closer and closer.

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• MHA Masterlist •

• Main Masterlist •

Battle Banters

I might've missed a few party switching callouts because I don't switch active fighter from Tifa, but all the others I heard in battle and they're listed in order from the first time they occurred.

Cloud Strife solo battle call outs.

Nothing to it.

That it?

Concentrate.

Not bad.

Cya.

It's over.

Enough.

Let's go.

That's that.

Bring it.

Piece of cake.

You're dead.

A job's a job.

Should be easy.

Steady.

Brace yourself.

Seriously?

Job's done.

Going in.

Sorry.

Easy.

No turning back.

It's on now.

Tough, but doable.

Heads up, guys.

Gimme a break.

Whatever.

Think you got my number?

Most of these sound like he's trying to encourage himself. As chapters progress Cloud drops some earlier ones in favour of new ones, only to abandon them too. He has a few solid phrases by the end of the game, but a lot more battle banter with Barret and Tifa.

Some cut scene callouts only appear in the cut scene and not in regular battle.

His main call out is "Nothing to it," and functions as both an opening and closing statement. He shares a few call outs with Tifa (labelled in red).

Barret Wallace solo battle call outs.

Ain't got nuthin on me.

And there you have it.

Oh, we're done here.

Check out this shit right here.

That all you got?

Get your ass outta here.

Hey, Cloud, hang back while I deal with these pests.

Do yall know who you're dealing with?

Oh yeah, another one in the bag.

Boom, gotta love it.

Hope you don't mind if I fill you full of holes.

You goin down.

Suck on this.

And don't come back.

Yall never had a chance.

You're going down one way or another.

Cocky little bastards, aincha?

Suck it.

*Victory fanfare*

You really wanna throw down with me?

Ain't no thing.

How'd you like that?

Choke on it, asshole.

That's how it's done.

Check this shit out.

You almost had me there.

You want some of this? Then come get it.

Open wide, and suck on this.

Keep pouring it on.

Barret talks the most of everybody and swears the most. He has very few battle banters, but mostly looks to Cloud for praise and co operation with Tifa.

Barret's most used battle cry is "You really wanna throw down with me?"

Tifa Lockheart solo battle call outs.

Would kill for a shower.

Cya.

Bye.

You asked for it.

That's that.

It's over.

Come on.

No surprises there.

Bring it on.

Gotcha.

Too late.

That's a win.

Worked up a good sweat.

Pour it on.

Finish em off.

Bingo.

You're gonna feel this one.

No more games.

Coming through.

Give em your all.

Keep it up.

If this is what you want.

Got your number!

Nothings gonna stop me.

Seriously?

Don't think you'll walk away from this.

Gotta make a stand.

Time to fly.

Focus.

You're down.

Give it up.

Get em.

No more games, it's over.

I won't give up.

Let's finish it.

Tifa's got a few solid phrases she repeats which encourage herself and her teammates, even if they don't reply.

Tifa's most common battle cry is "You're gonna feel this one."

She has some flirty battle banter with Cloud and co operative, friendly banter with Barret, but doesn't initiate battle callouts, which is in keeping with her character of not looking for a fight.

Aerith Gainsborough solo battle call outs.

Go on.

*screams*

Okay then.

Glad that's over.

Moving on then.

*whimpers*

Just go away.

You could always run away, right?

And we're safe.

Sorry, but we're in a rush.

Err, we'll this isn't good.

Just leave us alone.

This one's for you.

Stay back.

Now that's just mean.

That wasn't so bad.

You don't wanna make me mad.

C ya around.

I really wish you wouldn't.

One more shot.

Not being playable for as long as the others, she doesn't have as many call outs.

The most common phrase she says is "this one's for you".

Cloud's banters are protective towards her, with her arguing his role. She has no battle banter with anyone else.

Cloud -> Tifa Battle Banter

Opening battle banter

Keep your cool. No need to worry

Here I go. Right behind you.

Don't hold back. You got it.

Won't be tough. Of course not.

This won't take long. Not at all.

No match. Not at all.

Now, get in there. Yup, I hear you loud and clear.

Heads up. Here I go.

Let's end this quick. Not a prob.

Move aside. Make way, coming through.

Active fighter switch (tbf I kept forgetting to do this so I might have missed some)

It's on you. OK, let's go

Deal with that. All set.

End of battle banter

You're good at this. Told you so.

Keep those gloves up. Sure thing, coach.

Just like that, okay? I gotcha.

Tifa -> Cloud battle banter

Opening battle banter

Move over. Coming through.

Active fighter switch

Good luck. Let's do this.

Watch yourself. Taking over.

Mind taking over? I got this.

You're up. My turn.

Good luck. Alright.

You're up. I got this.

End of battle banter

None.

Cloud -> Barret battle banter

Opening battle banter.

Try to keep up. (...)

Don't get in my way. Are you trying to start something?

Time to do you thing, big man. You better watch my back.

Give em hell. I'm gonna enjoy this.

You ready? I was born ready.

Give em hell. And then some.

Turn up the pressure. Sounds like a plan.

Give it all you got. It'll be my pleasure.

Go all out. Oh I plan to.

Active fighter switching

Don't overdo it. Yeah, I'll overdo it

It's my time to shine. Or go down in flames.

.... need my help do ya?

Take the lead. Guess it's my turn.

It's on you. About damn time.

End of battle banter

No time to celebrate. Sure there is.

That was easy. Sure it was.

We make a decent team. Who would've thought?

Keep it up, man. Yeah, you too.

Good job. Whatever, man, let's go.

Barret -> Cloud

Opening battle banter

We gotta whole lotta company. No shit.

Don't even think about running. Why would I?

Don't mind us yall, just passing through. If only.

Don't hold nuthin back. Copy.

Let's give em hell. And then some.

Let's do this. Copy.

This'll be a walk in the park. Finish it quick.

Check this shit out. Okay.

Active fighter switching

Do your job merc. Shut up and move over.

End of battle banter

That was something else. That was nothing.

*Victory fanfare* *Sighs*

Hey did you see me in action? Must've missed it.

That was pretty damn good, huh? Let's keep it up.

Now that is what I call teamwork. Hmmph.

Keep it coming. One step at a time.

That was pretty damn good, huh? Let's keep it up.

Tifa -> Barret Battle Banter

Opening battle banter

None

Active fighter switching

Good luck. Alright.

You got this? I got this!

End of battle banter

None

Barret -> Tifa Battle Banter

Opening battle banter

Ain't no walking away from this. So you better run.

Ain't nothing to worry about. Not a bit.

Hit em hard and fast. Sounds good.

Gonna take you all out. One by one till your all done.

Getting tired of your shit. This is ridiculous.

Time to go wild. You said it.

Active fighter switching

Give em hell. All set.

End of battle banter

Nothing's gonna stop us. You would say that.

Let's move move move. Not so fast.

Hell yeah. Maybe dial it back a little?

Triple A Trio Battle Banter

Come on guys we've almost got this. Bring it on. Let's show em what we're made of.

That's that. Sure hope no one else knows we're here. Come on, we need to move.

Cloud -> Aerith Battle Banter

Opening battle banter

Leave this to me. (...)

This isn't a game, focus. Trust me, I'm focused.

I've got this. Doncha mean we've got this?

Try to stay behind me. That way I can cover your back.

I'll protect you. I'm pretty good at protecting myself you know.

Leave this to me. I don't think so.

Active fighter switching

(...) So, it's my turn?

End of battle banter

None

Aerith -> Cloud Battle Banter

Opening battle banter

Get em. (...)

It's awake. Gonna wish it kept sleeping.

No need to get rough. Stay back.

Active fighter switching

None

End of battle banter

Someone looks like they're in their element. I've fought scarier things in my sleep.

That wasn't so bad. (...)

Survey #410

“oh baby, baby, does she take a piece of lime for the drink that i’ma buy her, do you know just what she likes?

Do you put candy canes on your Christmas tree? Ye. Have you ever written/drawn/painted random stuff on your bedroom wall? No. What do you currently hear? A slowed w/ reverb version of "If U Seek Amy" by Britney Spears. Yes, I have a serious thing for these edits of childhood songs, ha ha. Actually, no shame, I still love Britney lmao. What's your favorite flavor of Doritos? Cool Ranch. Do you like bagels? Yep. Do you ever worry about what the world will be like when you have kids? I ain't having any of those, so I don't have to worry about that. Have you ever seen a hippo in person? At a zoo, yes. Are you any good at HTML? Noooo. When was the last time you did something you knew was wrong? Recently, because I'm awful about downloading things illegally. What was the last thing you downloaded on your computer? A picture. Do you ever cry just to get your way? Hi, I'm 25. I at least have SOME adult traits. Have you ever been to any professional sports games? Yes. What's the most boring sport to watch? The only sport I enjoy watching is dance, so. I think golf has to take the cake for the absolute worst, though. Do you like lip rings on the opposite sex? UGH I just love lip rings on anybody. Do you have good or bad vision? Literally awful. Have you ever parked in a handicapped spot when you weren't supposed to? Hell no. That is so fucking inconsiderate and lazy. Have you ever been to a different country? No. When was the last time you finger-painted? Nooo idea. Probably not since I was a little kid. Do you say car-mel or car-A-mel? "Care-uh-mel." When you get out of the shower, do you use one or two towels? One. Are you uncomfortable with changing clothes in front of others? Absolutely yes. Hell, I don't think I ever really changed in front of Jason back in the day, so that says something about how self-conscious I was with a FIT body. Never mind this catastrophe I own now. Which is worse: Runny nose or stuffy nose? Both suck, but stuffy drives me absolutely INSANE. Who's been the most influential person in your life? My mom. Do you have any tan lines? Ha, yeah, no. How many different schools have you gone to? Six. Do you know how to slow dance? I mean, yes? It's not complicated. Have you ever taken The Impossible Quiz? (If not, you should Google it. :D) No, and I'll never waste my time doing that shit. I've watched people play and beat it, but it seems like such frustrating, pointless madness with zero rhyme or reason behind it. Has someone that you liked told you that you are a waste of their time? No. Who is the last person you were in a car with? Mom. In the next 6 months, what are you looking forward to most? Ummmm Christmas, maybe? That's always exciting. Is there anyone who hates you? Probably. Who were you with the last time you went out for food? Mom. If your boyfriend or girlfriend smoked pot, would you care? Eh... I guess if it was for medicinal purposes, I would be okay with it. I'm not keen on dating a smoker of anything. Do you want to start over with anyone? Just Jason, at least sometimes. It'd be really, really nice if we could be friends again and just forget about who we were all those years ago, but I genuinely doubt my ability to be "just friends" with him. Even though I haven't spoken to this dude in over FOUR YEARS, and I'm sure he's changed a lot, just like I have. We might not even be compatible anymore. As much as I may want it, I think it's probably for the better we remain unassociated. Do you eat the crust of your sandwiches? It's what I eat first. Are you completely over your last relationship? Not "completely," no. I still love her, but I'm in a headspace of accepting that now is not the right time with unfit conditions. What hoodie did you wear last? My Pikachu one, which is the one I pretty much always wear. Do you listen to Incubus? Probably surprisingly, no. I don't know if I've even heard a song. Do you wear flip-flops during the winter? More like always. Do you like the smell of Axe? If you don't use an obnoxious amount, yeah. What do you think of feminists? Absolutely necessary as pilots for change. HOWEVER, I do believe some can take the concept waaaay too far. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence? Dad, probably. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Oh my god, GUYS. It was my niece's birthday last month, and she did the CUTEST shit. She used to be very, very opposed to getting even slightly dirty (I mean like a speck of dirt on her would make her cry), and this kid decided to just C H O M P into her cupcake and get the frosting ALL over her face. She had two and got so messy, and that angel was just laughing hysterically about it. That girl is such a damn gift. Safe to say she was bouncing off the walls that night. Did you hug one of your parents today? No. Do you tan in the nude? I don't tan, period. Have you ever put a lot of thought and effort into a gift for somebody, only for them to act like it didn’t really matter to them? Oh god, no. That would really, really hurt, because I genuinely do try to be very thoughtful with my gifts. Do you follow the ‘five second rule’ when you drop food on the ground? NOOOOOOO. It's just a bullshit myth. I am NOT eating food that's been on the floor for a millisecond. If you had to describe yourself using a colour, which colour would you be? Maybe like... navy blue? Kinda dark and somber, but also has a calmness to it. Have you ever had to use another person’s toothbrush before? What were the circumstances? I WOULD FUCKING NEVER. Omg that is so gross. Have you ever crashed a car? No. Do you have a garden? Does it have flowers, vegetables, or both? No. Where do you want to raise your kids? I don't want kids, but if I did, absolutely surrounded by nature and animals. Have you ever been to Cracker Barrel? Yeah, I love it there. Damn, now I want some, lol. Have you ever seen a ghost? I sure as fuck saw something. As soon as you find out you are pregnant, who will you first tell? Who says I'm ever going to BE pregnant? 'Cuz it sure isn't in my plans. But hypothetically, the dad. Have you ever won a game of Minesweeper? Like ever? I've never played it. Who is your best guy friend(s)? Girt. I really should chat with him soon, it's been too long. If you had a tiny scar on your face, would you get it removed or just keep it? I'd keep it. Make me look more badass. ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ What is your hair naturally like? Brown and kinda-sorta wavy. Have you ever stared at a stranger and they said something to you about it? No; I don't stare at people. Is your father very protective of you? I wouldn't say "very protective," no. What would you do if your hero died? ffffffUCK THIS QUESTION HOW ABOUT NO HE'S NOT ALLOWED THAT'S VERY ILLEGAL Where was your first date at with your current lover? I don't have one currently. Are you friendly in the morning, or are you barely awake? Depends on how much sleep I got, but I'm generally in my best mood in the morning. Did your parents force you to go to church? Mom did. What made you pick up the last book you started reading? It was the next book in the series I'm reading, Wings of Fire. When was the last time you went somewhere for the first time? Hm. I dunno. Hypothetically and generally speaking, how would you go about breaking up with someone? Is there anything you would make sure to say, or perhaps not say? I mean it would really depend on WHY I was breaking up with them, but I guess in most situations I'd try to meet them face-to-face and explain why I wanted to cut things off. I think it'd be important for them to hear my tone of voice, and I think physically meeting somewhere would show that I care enough for them to cut time out of my day to see them and try to hurt them as least as possible, given the situation. What do you find particularly offensive? Would you say you’re easy or difficult to offend? DO NOT in even a minor way ridicule mental illness or belittle victims as "weak" or pull the "it's just in their head" bullshit. The misuse of the term "retard(ed)" also genuinely offends me. I wouldn't say I'm easy to offend, either. What was the last chore you completed? Changing my cat's litter. When was the last time someone saw you naked? It's been a loooong time, and it would've only been my mom when I was like, going into a shower or something. If you could bring someone back from the dead and spend an hour with them, who would it be and what would you do/say? Probably Steve Irwin. I'd go on and on about how his family has carried his legacy so brilliantly, and show him aaaaaall the public pictures of Bindi and Grace, especially. God, that man would be so proud of them all. What is the greatest lost you’ve endured? My first "real" boyfriend. How would you describe your current mood? A mix of tired and anxious. I don't feel like going to bed yet, and the storm we've got passing through has me nervous about tornadoes 'n shit. Do you ever drink or get high alone? I've had some light drinks alone. What is the “worst” drug you’ve done? Are there any you will never try, or any you want to try? I've never done any illicit drugs, and I don't want to. What is the most personal thing you’re willing to reveal? Probably that I've had a pilonidal cyst. It's awkward to explain, but I'll share it anyway if there's a good reason to/I'm asked or something. What made you stop talking to the last person you cut out of your life? Her just being the most toxic, drama-filled person with the biggest victim complex of any human I've ever met. Who was the last person to yell at you? Did you yell back? Mom, and my voice was raised. Where do you like to be kissed? This depends on how serious we are. Can go from just the cheek to a lot of places. Which season is your least favorite and why? Summer, because it's too goddamn hot and humid. Who, if anyone, do you compare yourself to most? Probably my little sister. She's on such a successful path, and then there's like... me lmao. Do you have a night-light in your bedroom? If so, what does it look like? No. What is your favorite breakfast food? How often do you get to eat it? Cinnamon rollssssss. I have 'em very rarely, though. I'll eat too many of them, which I definitely don't need. What is your favorite thing about autumn? What about your least favorite thing? AHHHHHH EVERYTHING. I love Halloween and the decorations that come with it, the changing leaves, the crisp air... just all of it. :') Who was the last person you asked for help? Mom, I'm sure.

Regrettable Implications

Summary: 

In a semi-heated argument with Raph, Casey throws out a fact about him and Donatello that he really should have just kept to himself.

Ao3: [link]

Pairing: Donatello/Casey Jones

Words: 2329

Warnings: implied/referenced underage sex

A/N: yeah so this shit has been sitting on my computer for like two years so i finished it and now i'm tossing it into the abyss. it was written for exactly one line and i hope that fact is evident in the slightly above par writing.

Donnie couldn’t even begin to imagine what the two muscle heads were fighting about, but they were clearly trying to one-up each other about something. Maybe he’d get a better idea if he stuck around to watch like April, Leo and Mikey. After all, nothing better than dinner and a show. But the book he held in his right hand was far more interesting, so he just filled his coffee cup up, sufficiently tuning the two teens out before he turned to exit the kitchen. 

That was until it got particularly heated; 

“Yeah? Well, ‘least my mom isn’t a two-dime whore!” Raph countered to Casey’s previous comment. It wasn’t true, but Casey wasn’t a huge fan of his mother, and the joke was thrown around between the two a lot. 

What wasn’t thrown around a lot was Casey’s next comment.

“Yeah? Well, I fucked your brother!” 

Donnie froze mid-step, the rim of his mug rested against his lip and his eyes widened. He felt his brother’s turn to look to him, and his cheeks turned a bright red. 

It was dead-quiet, everyone processing what was just said.

Donnie was the first to break the silence; he loudly shut his book with one hand and turned his head to send a very threatening glare in Casey’s direction. This started a very quick succession of reactions. 

Raph spoke first. “What the fuck did you just say?” He looked first at Casey, then towards Donnie then back. 

“You prick!” Donnie shouted next. He slammed his coffee mug down on the table, the hot drink splashing out over the sides. “That’s not something you just yell out in front of someone’s family!” 

“What?” Mikey asked, Leo continuing in the incredulous tone;

“What the heck, Donnie?!” The two outbursts bringing the tallest brother’s attention back to his family, his cheeks turning a darker red as he blushed. 

“Oh my god.” Donnie breathed out before he attempted to make a hasty exit. 

“Donnie wait-!” Casey tried, but Donnie held his hand up. 

“Don’t fucking talk to me.” 

Casey ran after him, the rest of the teens following, eager to hear the rest of this story.

“Don! I didn’t mean to say that!” Casey tried to apologize. 

Donnie turned, still walking backwards. A scary-sweet smile came to his face.

“Oh, you didn’t mean to. That’s make it totally okay. Definitely not absolutely infuriating not to mention mortifying. And I mean, it wasn’t my whole family. Would you like me to call Master Splinter and Karai in here and you can announce it to them, as well?” 

“Don, I’m really-” Casey tried again, but Donnie cut him off. 

“Not to mention it was in retaliation to Raph calling your mother a, what was it, Raph?” 

“A two-dime whore.” Raph replied dryly, giving Casey an extraordinarily pissed off look.

“Ah, right. A two-dime whore. Forgive me if I’m not a huge fan of those implications.” 

Casey’s eyes widened, “I did not mean it like that!” 

“Yeah? Then how did you mean it, Casey?” Donnie asked. “What could you possibly gain by bragging to my brother that you got me into bed?” 

Casey floundered for a moment before he threw his hands out, “Come on, Don! You know I speak before I think! I threw out the very first thing that came to my mind.” 

“Oh, that’s even better! You hear the word whore and I come to mind! That’s so reassuring!” He yelled, a faux smile on his face before it dropped into a scowl. “You know, you’re a real asshole, Casey, so let me re-iterate this; don’t fucking talk to me.” With that Donnie turned and entered the lab, slamming the door behind him. 

It was silent in the lair for a long few moments after Donnie made his exit, before Mikey broke the silence. 

“What the heck just went down? You two boinked?” Casey gave him an unimpressed look. “Oh! Were you two boinking?” 

Casey groaned, rubbing his face. “I really fucked up.” 

“Yeah, you fucked up, Jones. About the same time that you fucked my brother? Really, man?” 

“When did this even happen? Did it happen here? How did Splinter not hear?” Leo questioned.

“We never did it here!” 

“How many times are we talking here?” Raph demanded. 

Casey groaned louder. “I shouldn’t be talking about this!” He yelled, throwing his arm out towards the door. “He’s already pissed at me enough!” 

“Probably!” April yelled. “You just announced to his family that one; he’s had sex, two; he’s into guys, and three; he’s into his brother’s best friend!”

“I’m guessing you can add a ‘was’ to that last one there, April.” Mikey taunted.

“Screw you guys!” Casey yelled and turned to leave the lair. 

“Well you already screwed one of us! Do you have a list or something?!” Raph yelled after him before he turned to the lab doors. 

“He probs doesn’t wanna talk to anyone, bro.” Mikey told him, and Raph shrugged. 

“Yeah? Well, I didn’t want him to screw my best friend so looks like we’re all just gonna have to deal.” Raph told them, before he entered the lab and shut the door behind him. 

Once the doors were shut tight Raph sought his brother out, his eyes going to every corner of the lab before he spotted him sitting at his desk, nearly hidden by the monitor in front of him. His feet pulled up onto the chair and his hands holding his head just above his knees. His thumbs were pressing against his eyes, and he had headphones on his head blasting music so loudly that Raph could hear it from the door. 

Raph frowned, his angry demeanor melting away now that he was out of sight from anyone else. 

“Don.” He said, walking forwards. He didn’t bother waiting for a response, just leaning over the desk and pushing the headphones off Donnie’s head and down to his neck. 

Donnie looked up at him with a start.

“Are you okay, Donnie?” Raph asked, and Donnie’s look of surprise stayed for a moment before it turned into a distraught frown.

“Okay? Of- Of course I’m not okay! I’m- I’m humiliated! I can’t believe he would do something like that!” Donnie buried his face in his hands, palms pressing against his eyes. 

“What is even going on between you two?” Raph asked and when his brother stayed quiet Raph frowned. “Donnie, c’mon. Just talk to me.”

Donnie looked up at him for a moment before he let out a deep sigh. 

“I- Well- Remember when- when he asked me to go to his place to help him study because it’s too distracting here and- and his dad and sister wouldn’t be there for the night…?” Raph nodded. “I’m still not entirely sure what happened, but it ended up with me staying the night, and well, you know…” 

Raph thought a moment before his eyes widened. “You texted me that night! You said you were going to be studying late and it’d be easier to crash on his couch! What the fuck, man?” 

“Yeah, that was after…” 

“And after that?” Raph asked. 

Donnie stood from the chair, walking towards the back wall before turning back. “I don’t know!” He exclaimed. “We just- We just kept doing it? And it’s not exactly something that’s easy to tell your family, I mean, you heard April’s list, didn’t you?” 

“You did?” Raph asked, gesturing to the headphones that he could still hear the music coming out of. 

“Yeah, that’s what prompted the headphones, I didn’t want to hear what you guys had to say to that.”

Raph frowned. He wanted to be angry at his brother, but he looked grief-stricken that it was hard for him to be. Instead, he tried a different approach. “Donnie, why Casey? Of all people?” 

“Like I have so many options?” Donnie rolled his eyes but sighed afterwards, shoulder’s going slack. “I dunno… I like Casey… I thought he was funny, and cute when we first met him, but I- I didn’t know I was actually into guys at that point and it scared me because Master Splinter is so traditional and- and like I didn’t have enough to worry about without sexualities being thrown in the mix so I tried to hide it by fighting with him all the time. But when we were alone, I don’t know, it was different… Or at least I thought it was.” His eyes darkened at the end. “Apparently, he was just some asshole scoring his friends brother.” 

Raph leaned against the desk, his arms crossed over his chest. “If it’s any consolation, he probably really didn’t mean it like that. He’s an idiot, you should know better than anyone.” 

“Doesn’t make the comment sting any less.” Donnie frowned, sitting back at his desk.  

“Yah, I didn’t think it would.” Raph sighed. “Should I break his nose?”

“Nah. Though I might next time I see him.” Donnie replied, then sighed once more. “Humans are all just the same, aren’t they?” 

“Maybe.” Raph said, then shrugged. “But maybe not.” 

Donnie looked up at his usually very anti-human brother with surprise.

“Look, I’m not saying what he did is okay, but- but if you like him, maybe, I don’t know, just hear him out? Not right away, but maybe in the future. Casey can be an idiot, but I don’t think he’d ever say anything to intentionally hurt you. He’s just- not that kind of guy, and he looked about as shocked as any of us that it had come out of his mouth.” Raph shrugged again. “But it’s up to you, I guess. What do I even know?” 

Donnie smiled at his brother’s attempt at comfort. 

“So, what? You’d be okay with me possibly dating your best friend?” Donnie asked. 

Raph frowned. “Trust me when I say it’s not my favourite idea, but like you said, how many options do we have? And I want you guys to be happy.” He nudged Donnie’s shoulder, smiling down at him. 

Donnie returned the smile, though it still held a touch of sadness to it. “Thanks, Raph.” 

“Don’t mention it. Seriously. Don’t.”

--

Though he took Raph’s advice to heart, Donnie ignored any and all attempts at communication from Casey that night and into the next morning. He had decided that he refused to have this conversation over the phone, and a part of him was curios how long it would take Casey to give up and come back to the lair.  

Evidentially, not even twenty-four hours. 

Donnie was nose-deep in his latest attempt to fix the toaster (Leo had really done a number on it that morning at breakfast) when he heard the lab doors opening. 

He looked up to see Casey’s head poked into the room and rolled his eyes before he returned to his work. Casey seemed to take Donnie’s lack of response as permission to enter, because he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. 

Donnie heard the careful footsteps making their way to his work bench, but kept his nose pointed towards his work. 

“I messaged you.” Casey said and Donnie was surprised at the nervousness that laid in Casey’s words. 

Not surprised enough to let up, however. 

“I ignored you.” He replied and tightened a screw probably a little too tight. 

He heard the footsteps come closer and then there was a shadow over the table’s surface. Donnie let out a huff and turned his head up to look at Casey again, slamming the screwdriver down on the table, his hand still clenched around it.

“Look, Jones-”

“Don-”

They spoke at the same time and Donnie was shocked into silence by the genuine emotion being displayed on Casey’s face. Casey continued in Donnie’s stead. 

“I’m sorry.” He said with earnest. He held one hand clenched in the collar of his hoodie, and the other was stiffly hidden behind his back. Donnie had never seen anything even resembling anxiety in Casey before, he hadn’t been sure Casey was capable of the feeling if he was being honest. 

“I’m so, so sorry. I- I didn’t mean to say it. I’m an idiot, and I think without speaking. And- and even though I did say it, I didn’t mean it how you think I meant it. It wasn’t really bragging, or- or in response to him calling my mom a whore- it was just, he- he brought up family so... so I brought up family, too.” Casey shrugged, and Donnie’s eyebrows knitted together.

“I never wanted to hurt you, and I didn’t mean to out you, and I just- I’m just so sorry that I hurt you.” Casey pulled out a bouquets or irises from behind his back. The stems held together just by his hand, and the ends were cut uneven, like Casey had plucked them right out of someone’s garden. Somehow it made the gesture all the more endearing. It mixed with Casey’s nervous smile had Donnie relenting. “Think you can forgive me?” 

Donnie sighed and finally let a small smile lift the corners of his mouth. “You idiot.” He said quietly and reached up to take the flowers from the older teen. “I’m still angry, don’t get me wrong. What you said wasn’t okay, and- and it hurt, but I forgave you yesterday after Raph made your case for you.” 

“Wait- really?” Casey asked, surprised that Raph had defended him after his screw up. 

Donnie laughed, looking down at his flowers. “Yeah,” He turned his eyes towards Casey and gave him a sly smile. “Right after I assured him I was capable of breaking your nose myself.” 

Casey let out a nervous sounding laugh, a mild blush colouring his face.  

Donnie ignored it, and instead stood up from his desk. “The flowers were a nice touch.” He replied, and leaned forwards to place a kiss on Casey’s cheek before brushing past him to get some water for his flowers.

October Klance Prompts - 19/10 - Jack O’Lanterns

Two idiots get their heads stuck in pumpkins 🎃

Now available on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21071726/chapters/50222384#workskin

The lights were low on the castle ship, Pidge having messed around with the circuits until she could produce a red glow. Lance had asked for golden, something ambient like candlelight, but she decided red was more halloween-y, being the colour of blood and all. Lance suspected she had actually been trying for orange and couldn’t succeed. No matter! The castleship wasn’t glaringly white like usual, and Lance had other things to worry about, like laying down blankets in order to keep it that way, so her shortcoming was forgiven.

As he laid out the final blanket, plonking a set of knives and pens in the middle, a shout came from the hallway.

“I’ve got the pumpkins!” Hunk called, and a second later a pile of oversized pumpkins on two legs rounded the corner, the topmost one rolling to the floor.

“What the-?” Lance began, but another pile followed, and when this one talked it sounded rather like a small green paladin.

“Not pumpkins.” The pile announced, “they’re fruit from some planet Coran knows the name of. Don’t ask him.”

“Sounds like you speak from experience.” Shiro commented, walking in after with a single alien pumpkin tucked against his stomach.

Pidge didn’t answer, just sighed very deeply. Lance didn’t pay them mind, homing in on the one pumpkin that had slipped away. It was huge! Bigger than a fishbowl. And heavy too, as Lance found out lifting it up to his eyes.

“I could fit my head in this!” Lance cried, awestruck. This was going to make one hell of a jack o’lantern.

Then a single syllabled laugh killed the mood. Lance jolted, nearly crushing the space fruit in his palms as he spun around. Keith leaned against the door frame, raising his eyebrows at the display in front of him. Lance scoffed. God forbid he come all the way into the room and actually have some fun.

“Something to say, Keith?” He hissed. Lance was vaguely aware of the rest of the group setting out pumpkins and knives with a quiet kind of resignation behind him but paid it no mind. It seemed even Shiro had stopped bothering to interrupt their arguing these days. Lance was glad. Someone had to tell Keith killing joy wasn’t a full-time job.

“No.” The boy in question replied, kicking one leg over the other as he settled into his infuriating lean, “just found it funny that you think you can fit your head inside a vegetable.”

“Fruit!” Someone called behind them, probably Pidge. Lance didn’t care, lifting up the fruit to shove it at Keith.

“It’s huge.”

Keith shrugged. He had the awful twitch in his lip that led to a smirk and Lance felt his blood boil.

“So’s your head.”

Lance’s last thread of patience snapped.

“MY HEAD? MINE? Coming from Mr I’ll-stand-in-the-corner-acting-all-superior-every-time-the-team-has-an-ounce-of-fun-cause-I’m-too-good-for them-massive-head. Shut up! It wouldn’t fit over your head!”

“Oh, it would.”

“You wanna try?”

“Bring it.”

Keith stamped across the room and Lance scrambled to follow. Hunk heaved out a weak “guy’s...” but it wasn’t about to stop them. Keith had already stabbed his knife into his pumpkin as Lance dropped to the floor.

It didn’t have to be perfect, Lance decided as he grabbed the knife out of Pidge’s hand, it just had to be done. The girl yelped, but Lance was already plunging the metal through the peel, sawing like his life depended on it.

The fruit was softer than a real pumpkin, so cutting was easy and Lance got a clean circle in no time. But the insides, that’s where Lance took pause. There were no stringy fibres. Instead, the fruit was filled with fish eggs - or rather seeds that looked like fish eggs. And in his haste Lance had already thrown his hand in only to be stopped when the jelly-like beads began oozing and popping between his fingers.

Hunk retched beside him.

“That is so gross.” Pidge commented and Lance turned to her, finding her hands still clean, barely a scratch on her pumpkin.

“Uh huh,” Lance squeaked, glaring at her, “you’re not the one freaking touching it.”

“You giving up?” Keith called and Lance crushed his hand into the goo.

“No! I’m just getting started.”

Then he thrust a second hand into the pumpkin, bits of fruit spewing out like sick and started clearing in earnest, digging like a dog with a new bone. In seconds the pot was empty.

“Hah!” He shouted, shoving the thing over his head without a second thought. It caught painfully on his ears but he forgot near instantly as his world became orange and he whooped in delight.

“Shove it Keith! I got it on!”

“I did too, idiot.”

“Well I did it first!”

“How could you tell, your face was deep in pumpkin?”

“Oh, I could tell!”

Lance leapt onto his feet. He was about to throw his new helmet away and have a proper yelling match when he stumbled instead landing in sticky fruit entrails. The helmet was still firmly on.

“What the hell!?”

Regaining his footing he tried pushing it off again, clanking his teeth together when his chin smacked up. The helmet stayed on.

“Oh god.”

He scraped at the bottom, craning his neck with increasing panic.

“Oh no, no no no noooo. Help!”

Lance started stumbling across the room, knocking into another person who was hissing out a series of curses.

“Guys!” Lance cried. His ears were burning now, skin covered in sweat. Helmet still on. “I’m stuck!”

“No shit.”

Lance whirled around in the general direction of Pidge’s comment. “Help me!”

“Oh no you dug your own grave here.”

“What!?”

“Guys, seriously.” It was Keith now. A stern command, heavily muffled. “Get this off me now.”

“Nope!” Pidge announced, popping the ‘p’. There was the distinct sound of gleeful skipping.

“Shiro!” Keith pleaded.

Lance tried to look helpless, aiming in the direction he guessed Shiro was in.

“Oh no, I’m with Pidge. This is your mess.”

“But-”

“Hey, if you’d thought through your actions instead of rushing into ridiculous competition, you wouldn’t be here.” Shiro said with ringing finality.

Keith was clearly taking this lying down, letting out a pathetic growl, but Lance was determined.

“No way!” He cried, talking over Keith’s feeble attempts at reasoning. “You can’t leave us like this!”

“Oh, we can.” Pidge gleamed. She was gaining far too much joy in this as she cackled, sounding much further away than before.

“Wait you’re not leaving are you!?”

There was a sharp very Shiro-like cough. “It’s for your own good.”

“But!” Lance thought frantically for some excuses. “We’ll run out of air! I can’t breathe! Shiro I’m suffocating! Shiro!”

A hand came down on Lance’s shoulder and he jumped away.

“Relax,” Hunk cooed. It had incredible effect as Lance did relax, not only letting Hunk replace his hand but leaning into it.

“Thanks Hunk.”

“No probs bud. Stay still a tick?”

Lance nodded before turning statue. There was a popping sound and a slit of light poked through the orange ceiling around him. Lance couldn’t help grin. Hunk always had his back. Then something else poked through the gap - a small tube of sorts.

“So you can breathe.” Hunk commented, slapping Lance’s back and sliding off.

“Wait what!?”

There was a puncture sound from further off, Hunk piercing Keith’s headpiece too like a carton of juice.

“Sorry bud. We are leaving you a knife though.”

“Oh great! How thoughtful!” Lance soured, sinking into his hip and throwing out his palm. The knife didn’t get placed in it.

Instead, Pidge’s voice echoed once again. “He didn’t say he’d give it to you.”

“What!?” Lance shrieked, in a panic once again, “I don’t want knife boy stabbing me like this!”

“You want to be stabbed some other way?” Keith growled, much closer than before, “‘cause I’ll wait.”

“I don’t want to be stabbed at all! Especially not by you.”

“Guys.” Hunk huffed, and suddenly there was a sharp pain to the right side of Lance’s head. It seemed as if Hunk had literally banged their heads together and Keith made a grunt similar to Lance’s as they suffered through the resulting tremors.

“Sort yourselves out. I’m leaving the knife on the shelf where no-one can get hurt. Either find a way to help each other out or get the knife without killing each other. You’re choice.”

There was the sound of feet swivelling on tiles, and then footsteps - quick and purposeful. Lance made a few final pleas, but they were all met with dead silence.

“Keith?” He finally called.

“Yeah?”

“This is your fault.”

The ensuing argument lasted a good half an hour and consisted mostly of “no it’s not” and “yes it is”. By the end of it Lance found himself sat against the wall, foot drumming relentlessly against the floor as an aura of bitterness surrounded him.

“You know if you’d just come into the room earlier none of this would have happened.”

Keith scoffed. He hadn’t even strayed that far from Lance, but still had the confidence of a man standing outside of swinging room. Lance was fuming.

“What, you think I’m wrong? You spend all day standing around in doorways wearing condescending looks and giving out stupid comments.”

“I do training!”

“Oh I’m sorry!” Lance cried, irritation burning in his veins “Let me start over, when you’re not killing yourself in the training room you’re out here watching all of us like some kind of guardian demon.”

Keith threw back just as much anger back. “Well, what do you expect me to do when you’re all hanging out together in one room!?”

“Uh, come in!”

It was pretty damn obvious as far as Lance was concerned.

“Whatever.” Keith murmured as if that would end the conversation. It only spurred Lance on.

“No, come on! Tell me! Why d’you spend you’re whole day looking down on us all instead of joining in?”

“Don’t push me Lance,” Keith growled but the warning fell on deaf ears.

“Push you? Please, I’m pulling at teeth here just trying to get you to talk. You know how much of a difficult person you are Keith? Very. I just wanna know why you think so highly of yourself. Why it’s such a bother to be around us, why you can’t even bring yourself to play our games but how you’ll always hang around in the corner anyway because what? It’s so funny seeing the ants playing their little games. So silly how they actually wanna be friends. So-”

“YOU NEVER INVITE ME!”

Lance stopped in his tracks. Keith was still huffing with his outburst, and in the sudden quiet Lance could clearly hear the crumple of jacket as he crossed his arms and slid away against the wall.

“It doesn’t matter.” He murmured, but Lance felt strongly that it did. The room was quiet now, the thick kind where there was so much to be said that it spread through the room like invisible fog.

“You’re not a vampire you know.” Lance offered but it didn’t come out light like he’d hoped, more like a dig. Or at least that must have been what Keith thought if his resulting growl was anything to go by.

“Just leave me alone.”

“No!”

Lance rounded on the boy, throwing out his hands to catch him before he could get any further away. Lance had missed the mark, grabbing the front of his shirt and the shoulder of his jacket. But he’s stopped Keith, so with determination he slapped his hands again, hitting his head dead on. Lance was about to give his speech when stopped short.

“Holy-”

When he pushed at the sides of the fruit covering Keith’s face it’s curved reversed, bottom jutting out. He played a second, feeling the curve bounce in and out, concave, convex, concave, convex. It was almost like a toy, Lance fascinated by the strange physics, until he realised what it meant. A second later, Lance had yanked the pumpkin off Keith’s head and hastily followed with his own.

Lance gulped in fresh air. It was so clear, like a glass of water after a day full of squash. He blinked into the white light of the castle ship, wiping away the spots covering his vision until he could see the blankets bunched up in the centre of the room and the strange pumpkin goop laying like entrails across the floor. Lance laughed.

“We’re free!”

“Cool.”

It only took another second to remember what Lance had been doing and he instantly found Keith. The boy’s face was flushed with pink splotches, and he had it ducked towards the ground as he climbed to his feet. There was a frown, not his usual scowl, just an embarrassed, maybe even sad expression laying on his lips. For some reason it made Lance’s chest ache. He grabbed Keith’s hand.

“You’re not a vampire,” he insisted. Keith rolled his eyes but Lance was determined and gave his hand a sharp squeeze. “You don’t need to be invited.”

“It’s not that simple.” Keith mumbled. His hand was limp in Lance’s grip and he stared purposefully at the door. Lance let go.

“It is.” He said towards his lap. It felt futile. But then, Keith didn’t move.

Lance felt a bubble of hope in his tummy. So, he took a chance, standing up and blocking Keith’s gaze. “You’re always invited to hang out with us.”

Then he lowered his head, nerves spilling into his stomach like sparks.

“But if it will help,” he said, feeling the sparks bounce all the way down his arms, “I’ll make sure to ask.”

“Really?”

Lance took a pause. Keith’s eyes shine at the prospect, scared but lined with hope. Lance swallowed thickly, pretending not to notice the skip in his heartbeat. “Sure.”

“Thank you.”

Keith smiled now. The closest Lance had seen him get to a beam. It was closed mouth but sparkled in his eyes, cheeks round and still a little pink. Before it could go to his head, Lance spun around.

“You wanna go get revenge on the team?” He asked, eyeing up the gross innards of space pumpkin and finding a plan formulate in his mind.

“Oh yeah.” Keith replied.

The 100 6x08: The Old Man and the Anomaly Personal Narration

Are you guys excited?! We already have 6x09′s episode description, which makes me think we are not getting Clarke back again this episode (but who knows?!), but I’m very hyped to see the first steps they are going to be taking to getting her back. I’m also wondering--due to one of the clips that’s been released--if Russell is going to fully come to their side tonight and help get Clarke back. So without further ado: here are my thoughts/narrations from tonight’s episode:

Is Eliza the only one who introduces the episodes now? Not complaining...just curious...haha

Love the motorcycles. Remember when we saw Clarke riding one in the season trailer? That better actually be Clarke, not Jo!Clarke.

Love Octavia and Diyoza married couple! 

That noise is already killing me.

How is Diyoza’s eye makeup still intact? Are we supposed to believe that’s a natural thing for her? Not likely. haha

Ahh....picture of original Josephine

You think Diyoza is going to give her weapons up? Hah!

Wellllllll.....I guess she will to save Octavia’s life? She’s probably hiding something near her baby bump

Haha you tell him Diyoza! Kill him with your hands!

Oh no! Crazy Octavia!

Ahhhh loving Diyoza. 

Two serpents. One garden. LOVE the quotes that are being brought back!

Oh....is this when her delusion of her fighting herself is going to happen?

He is Gabriel?!?! I KNEW IT!!!!

Give me Bellamy or give me DEATH! 

Oh....Raven! Missed you!!!

Ichy! This Prime stuff is so gross! I don’t care if they are willing. It’s brainwash!

I don’t want Kane in Gavin’s body! That’s gross!

Abby....bet you’d change your mind once you realize what they have done to Clarke! 

Raven still loves Abby. She’s mad, but she still loves her! :)

Yes, you should be ashamed Abby!

Bye bye, Gavin.

You tell her, Raven! I’m still sorta mad at you, but I love your one-liners!

Ich! Jo!Clarke. I hate you. You’re a great villain, though. Just get outta Clarke!

No, Clarke’s body is NOT YOUR’S!

Yes, erase this sin Russell! ERASE IT!

What she’s done?! What about what you’ve done?!?!

Yes, very wise Russell! 

But Josephine is about to do something sneaky to keep that body!

Oh....They believe Bellamy! And they’ve told Madi?!!? Wow! BOLD!

Ahhh Jordan loves Delilah! 

Haha killer Madi! 

Yes, very concerning! Be concerned!

Ohh Madi and Jordan are having their first sibling fight!

Oh Madi and Echo communicating! But calling her a spy? Ouch!

Yeah, Bellamy keep your family together!

Aww Emori and Murphy!

Yes, Emori. Are you mad? Turned on? I seriously can’t tell?

Ahhhh. He is so sweet! Proposing! But.....still haven’t gotten to the mind drives.

OPE there they are! The mind drives!

Ohhhh.....she is definitely sorta turned on.

But....you were just mad about Clarke’s death? Now is she not worried about killing future people?

Oh Jo!Clarke just revealed the truth to Murphy!

Ichy...are you really with them Emori?

I really want to slap JO!Clarke. Don’t make me want to slap poor Clarke because of what Josephine does to her face! I hate it! I’m so conflicted!

COMMERCIAL BREAK #1 Thoughts: WOW. That was a lot for the first fifteen minutes. I’m shook. I need more Bellamy and crew moments. Do we believe Emori is going to the dark side just because she loves John? She’s never before, but....And do we believe Murphy is going to go through with this now that he knows the truth just so that he can “live forever?” Probably. Honestly, I’m so sick of his back and forth. I get he saw something scary, but that seriously could have been just a fucking hallucination or something. Boy needs to chill and love his family a little better.

Oh.....hallucinations are happening. He’s seeing old Josephine! 

Love Diyoza. Would die for her probs.

Oh....Diyoza hears children laughter. Creepy.

Are we still shipping him with Octavia now that we know the truth? 

Oh...she sees tied up Bellamy. Good. Me likes.

Oh. Back to the hair twirling.

Manipulation is Josephine’s foreplay. What a psycho!

Headaches are coming. Brain is deteriorating.

Emori.....very evil. Please me bluffing!

God I hate Josephine!

Emori is lying.....

Why is she looking at Echo? Does she know

Oh....Emori’s guilt got to her! GOOD!

Echo is looking very hot this episode....just saying....haha

Oh.....MADI is gone....

And there goes Madi’s killing spree. Am I proud? Well, I’m no un-proud. Hahaha

COMMERCIAL BREAK #2 Thoughts: Does everyone get this movie trailer Taco Bell commercial? I kinda love it! Makes me wish I could still eat fast food. HAHA. Anyways....so Madi is killing. Echo is looking smoking hot. Emori’s guilt got to her really quickly which I LOVE! Super proud of our girl for not letting her love for Murphy blind her! They need to move super quick to save Clarke now. But still not sure it’s going to happen this episode. Have you guys read next week’s episode description? Do you think the person Bellamy pairs off with is Russell? I also think that is when Octavia is going to have to face her “demons”/Bloodreina. Looking forward to that for sure! Definitely think it will lead to her redemption arc! What do you guys think?

Awww....crying Raven. Hate that! 

Abby come to apologize?

Agreed Raven. Agreed.

Ohhh....spacewalker Raven?

No Kane would not want this! 

Then why do it Abby? Are you really that selfish!?

You are so doing this for you! 

Oh....is Raven going to let Abby do it or....?

Be a god.....wow. Murphy is so easy to manipulate for a cockroach.

Josephine is so good at blackmail and manipulation.

And now they know Emori is against them. 

What are you doing Emori?

Oh is this the Clarke motorcycle thing from the trailer? DAMN IT!!!

Are....they going to kill Emori?

Oh...it was a trap!

Oh.....they are using Jackson! 

Do they actually have this all planned?

Oh....John or Clarke.....? What?!?!

COMMERCIAL BREAK #3 Thoughts: So....FUCK! They had this all planned but John just had to stand too close to the psycho! What are they going to do? We know Eliza is in the next episode....so....no death. And we are pretty convinced Clarke isn’t going to die....right? Especially with Bellamy pairing off with “an unlikely companion” next episode, right? Who we can all agree is probably Russell? Honestly, I’m usually good at predications, but I don’t know what they are going to do to save both Murphy and Clarke. Maybe, save Murphy now...and somehow do a last minute save of Clarke? I really don’t want Clarke’s body to die! I need Eliza forever!

Ahhhh Jackson and Miller boyfriend teamwork!

And now Madi’s plan is working!

But....Russell knows better. Will this change his opinion on helping?

What’s your plan Echo?

Oh....cut his leg badly!

Ahh....them still calling her Clarke not Josephine!

No....he just wants Clarke!

Oh....is his unlikely companion.....Josephine? Well...there goes my predictions!

Awww Echo telling him to save Clarke! 

Aww Emori and John’s love is forever! But...are we losing Murphy now?!!? I was not willing to make that sacrifice!

And Madi stopped by Jordan!

NO JORDAN!

COMMERCIAL BREAK #4 Thoughts: SO.......now we are thinking that the unlikely companion to Bellamy is Jo!Clarke next episode! Which honestly makes me WAY HAPPIER than the Russell theory! This means he is likely going to be there when Clarke comes back and they are going to have scenes! Also, with Gabriel being with Diyoza and Octavia we may get a Blake family reunion! AND>>>>Echo telling him to go save Clarke? Do we think she can sorta see that they are in love? Or that Bellamy needs Clarke at the very least.  Or....is she super blinded by her love for Bellamy to see? By the by, LOVE Echo this season! Cannot wait to learn more about her when her younger self comes in as a flashback and/or hallucination! I just love her so much! She is so loyal to her space family! Bellamy loves Clarke, so she loves Clarke. I’m SO good with this! Makes me warm and happy inside. 

So.....Raven is going to do this for Abby?!?! I called it!

Ahh....she does still love Abby. Though whether Abby deserves it is another thing.

Awww Gabriel still loves Josephine. Sweet....is that going to help our heroes defeat her in the end?

Ah..Hope is calling to Diyoza. Ahhh what a cutie!

So....is that shiny thing the anomaly?

Octavia save Diyoza from the hallucination!

Is it evil? Or is it like a heaven sorta place?

And Octavia is back.....and she looks....healed?

Well then. So anomaly....good?

COMMERCIAL BREAK #5 Thoughts: So....anomaly is sorta heaven place that heals? Will Octavia tell us what she saw after commercial? Maybe no one came back because it was such a nice place. I mean....Octavia looked brand spanking new when she fell out of that thing. It can’t be super bad, right? Or maybe it is just good enough to trick people into staying? Like the longer they stay the more the anomaly can steal their life force? I want Ruby Rose in a bad way......

Oh....trial? Really, Russell? You “killed” their leader!

And now they all know what Russell and Simone did! 

And that Clarke is alive! 

Wasn’t their TURN?!?!

Yes, finally be loyal to your fucking people Murphy! Don’t talk! We already know Emori is a badass!

Oh....Russell is mad....is this going to turn him evil/bad?

So....are we saying Kane’s body is dead? Damn....I really like that actor!

And.....Kane is now old enough to be Abby’s son.....gross. 

Is he going to realize soon that he;s.......oh. there it is.

Seeing your dead body? Yes, that’s going to traumatize the hell out of him!

So defintely seeing Octavia face her demons. And obviously Bellamy was talking to Josephine, but maybe Clarke at a deeper level?

NEW MUSE ADDITION!           this shouldn’t be much of a surprise bc i’ve been talking about this for a bit but i’ve decided it’s time to add my scammer/swindler muse back to the blog. let me introduce you all to JUN, a professional pain in the neck! (: i haven’t written up his proper backstory yet but this is a revamp of an old oc that i totally scrapped. they have similar names and certain backstory points are similar but i’d much prefer to think of him as a brand new character. read on under the cut for more about him! i haven’t added him to the muse page yet but i’ll do that later! (side note that this will probs be the last male oc i’ll add for a while, unless i end up dropping somebody else for some reason, bc i don’t like that there’s such an imbalance on the blog rn)

hi, first i just wanna say...you won’t be able to tell from all of the shit i’ve written under here bc these are mostly just quick and basic facts but jun is generally better suited to like...heavier plots, i guess?? on account of him being a criminal? i DO DEFINITELY wanna write casual stuff for him too but my point is that i really don’t want him to be treated like a dumb haha comedy muse just because he’s annoying. i’ve had issues with ppl reducing muses of mine to dumb comic relief-type characters without my permission in the past and i want to be clear that, even though i write this guy with a sense of humour, that doesn’t mean i also don’t take him seriously as a character either. i WOULD like to write proper plots for him and i want him to be an interesting & hopefully complex character so please try to keep from flanderising him. i don’t think that comedy & drama need to be kept separate. i think you can absolutely write serious plotlines and drama and all that shit while keeping a sense of humour about a character (’: basically, i want to make jokes about him and that’s okay to do but please don’t turn him INTO a joke. he’s still a criminal and good at scamming people! anyw....onto the trivia!

he was born as jun shinozuka on the twenty-eighth of november, 1996 (i.e; he’s twenty-three next month) and in yokohama, japan. he moved to the US with his brother when he was like eight. he moved with his older brother, mamoru, to go live with his aunt and uncle after his mother died. he never knew his dad.

he doesn’t tell people his surname, preferring to go by a mononym for the sake of seeming mysterious. his real name is actually pretty easy to find out. he still keeps in contact with his brother so you’d really just have to find him and you’d have your answers. but he doesn’t appreciate people referring to him by his full name because it ruins the fun /:

jun wasn’t an especially well-behaved kid and he had trouble sitting still & focusing in class while his brother got good grades and was generally very well-liked by his teachers. growing up, he had an awful habit of just bullshitting all the time but he got really good at it after a while. since he kind of concluded lying was the thing he was good at it, he decided that he might as well find a way to make a career of it. this lead to his career in the scamming business. the irony is that his brother, always the exact opposite to jun, is a police detective. he knows jun’s up to shady shit but he doesn’t know all the details.

his habit of lying, again, started when he was a kid because he thought it’d be a good way to get people to like him better. people would pay more attention to him and think he was cool & interesting on his own, rather than him having to live in his brother’s shadow all the fuckin time.

that isn’t to say jun hasn’t been arrested bc he has. just not for the conman stuff. he usually gets arrested when things go wrong, e.g; he once got arrested for ‘destruction of public property’ bc he broke the sign of a streetsign pole when trying to hide from a bunch of guy he’d pissed off and tried to throw it at them. yeah. anyway, his brother HAS bailed him out before because he’s a warm-hearted guy and he loves his lil bro, even if jun only ever thanks him by insulting the police and trying to leave by way of climbing out windows.

he comes off as kind of an idiot most of the time but he’s actually very good at his job. his #1 mode of operation is selling junk to people while claiming that they’re something much more valuable but he is not beyond selling shitty or unreliable information to people either. in his defence, he’s not forcing anybody to listen. it’s their issue if they want to believe him. he’s also willing to work on bigger scams with people for a higher profit but he tends to stick to smaller schemes because he’s mostly a one-man deal.

although he’s undeniably a criminal, he tries to avoid taking advantage of people TOO much.....like he doesn’t target vulnerable people or anything because he’d just feel super guilty about it and that’d force him to rethink his whole life trajectory and he’s not about to unload all that on himself. thinking is for losers. no thanks.

100% the kind of guy who thinks kids' breakfast cereal is an any time meal

he’s really annoying! it’s okay if your muse wants to kick his ass! because he’s annoying!

he’s kind of a shameless flirt, esp w/women.

jun is basically incapable of holding a serious conversation about feelings and shit like that. he’ll just make lame jokes to steer you elsewhere. 

it’s ok to bully him.

One of them (probs Pen) getting so jealous she sprouts out she is in love with Schneider

Here it is!

Group therapy leads Penelope to an epiphany about her feelings for Schneider

“Penelope, we havent heard from you yet.” Pam kept her voice admirably neutral.

“I don’t got a lot to say.” Penelope waved off the group therapy leader with a smile.

More than one eyebrow went up. The Cuban was not known as being the wallflower of the group. Penelope knew that and didn’t fail to notice the disbelief on some faces.

“Really.” She insisted “Things are really good right now. I don’t need to take the time away from people with problems they need to talk about. You’ve all listened to my problems plenty.”

“And we are always here to help with those.” Pam said. "But its important for all of us to take the time to acknowledge and celebrate the good things as well. Seeing each other succeed and be happy is a reminder that its possible for all of us, no matter what we are dealing with.”

The women around the circle nodded at that. The therapy meetings helped them in a lot of ways. They had shed a lot of tears together but also shared a lot of smiles and a lot of laughter.

“So, Penelope, would you like to share the good things with us?” Pam asked.

“Okay, well”, Penelope rubbed her palms down her jeans as she considered where to begin. “As you know, i finished my exams. I am officially an NP.”

She took a moment to preen as there was another round of congratulations from her friends.

“And honestly, its like I can breathe again. So much of the pressure is off; no more tests, no more studying, no more researching the reproductive habits of frogs, as if that’s ever going to come up when i am treating bronchitis.” She shook her head, pantomiming shaking off that mental load. “I’m not even nervous about doing the job, I actually feel totally confident in my abilities.”

Which was a marvel when she remembered how she used to second guess her decisions as a nurse, asking Dr. Berkowitz for a consult on so many things she wouldn't question these days.

“Mi mami’s doctor is really pleased with her health, she’s not even fighting me about some of the dietary changes anymore. Elena is an essay writing machine right now, she is raking in so many scholarships for college. So that’s an anxiety attack i don't have to have until next year. Let’s see, what else… Alex has his first serious girlfriend now.”

That had the group chuckling and those who had mothered teen boys expressed their sympathies.

“Yeah, I hear that.” Penelope continued. “But I’ve met her and her family goes to my church. She’s a real good girl. One of the ones we would have called stuck up prudes back in high school, you know? Even Alex couldn’t charm her into anything too bad.

“My tax return was very nice this year. Oh, and I tried that tapas place 3 blocks over on Cayuga street with Schneider last weekend! Food’s a little pricey but the drinks are cheap and really good. We should all go sometime.”

The expected reaction would be for the group to enthuse about a new place to grab post-therapy cocktails but instead Penelope met mostly questioning faces.

“So you’re finally dating that dude?” Ramona asked.

“What? Schneider?” Penelope shook her head in denial. "No, we just got dinner together.”

“Just the two of you?” Penelope nodded in answer to that. “The two of you at a trendy new restaurant on a date night?”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t a date. We eat together most nights.” she said.

“At home with your mom and kids, not alone out on the town. Did you split the bill?”

“Well, no, he paid.” Penelope had to admit, but she was quick to explain. “But that’s just because he lost a bet we had."

I don’t know,” Ramona said, "still sounds a lot like a date. Do you two usually hang out together when one of you isn't having a crisis?”

“No.”

Not without the rest of the family around. But for the group, that just made their solo outing together seem more significant.

Jill tried to back her up.

“It better not be a date. Doesn’t that Schneider guy have a girlfriend?” she asked.

“Actually, they broke up.” Penelope had to admit.

“Really?”

Jill raised an eyebrow and grinned at the other women, who she had spoken to at length about Schneider’s attractiveness after meeting him at Penelope’s place. Then Penelope’s car was in the shop once, requiring Schneider to drop her off at a meeting. They’d all taken a good long look for themselves that night; after that he became a regular topic of admiring conversation.

“So if he isn’t dating her, and he isn’t dating you… what’s he doing Friday night?” Jill asked.

The group laughed and Penelope joined them at first but then waved the idea off.

“Actually there’s some old musical airing on one of the Spanish channels that night, he promised to watch it with my mom,” she said.

It was really sweet of Schneider to agree to that. The old films tended to make Lydia emotional with memories of home and her Berto. Schneider loved listening to her stories and was always good at cheering the older woman up with requests for dancing lessons or some gentle flirting.

Penelope sensed the stares from the group again. What? It wasn’t that weird for a man to sacrifice his Friday night to keep an old lady he wasn't even related to company. At least not if that man was Schneider. He did macrame with his tenants so they wouldn’t get lonely, por dios. Abruptly, Penelope shifted gears.

“But if you want, Jill,” she joked, elbowing her friend in the side, “I can ask if he is free Saturday night.”

Jill shook her head with a grin. “I’m busy Saturday, what about Sunday? Does he go to worship? 'Cause as we all know i can rock the hell out of a sundress, and he’d look real good on my arm walking into church.”

The whole group cracked up at that.

“I’ll take him Saturday night!”  Another woman piped up. “My cousin is getting married and a hot, rich guy will make a better date than Tom from the mail room at work.”

“No one is forcing you to take Tom.” Penelope pointed out.

“Yeah but its a wedding and going to a wedding alone is just asking for pity.” she said.

Penelope really couldn’t deny that after her own experience at Victor’s ceremony. She’d actually been tempted to ask Schneider to be her date to that. So she wasn’t sure why it rubbed her wrong now to think of him being someone else’s wedding arm candy.

“So, what’s wrong with Tom then?” she asked.

“Um, he’s not a really rich, really hot, really tall Canadian that i want to climb like a maple tree?”

The eruption of ribald laughter covered Penelope’s silent reaction.

‘Hey, he went to your daughter’s quinces right? How does he look in a suit?”

The reminder of Schneider in his suit, weirdly-sexy with that smooth face and no glasses hiding those bright blue eyes of his, … Penelope couldn’t help it, she blushed a bit at the memory.

“Wow, that good huh?” Jill teased her when Penelope didn’t answer. “You know, I have a wedding to go to in 3 weeks myself…”

More laughter. These women loved to talk smack and riff off each other. Penelope knew it was an all a lot of bluster and bullshit. Usually she gave as good as she got. But she was quiet now, strangely unsettled by the words flying around her.

“Is there a waiting list a girl can get on?” was asked with seeming earnestness.

Yeah, so what? So Schneider was kind of hot; kind of really hot. That had never affected Penelope’s opinion of him, or how she treated him. He wasn’t some piece of meat.

“Yeah, I don’t need him for a date,” Ramona stated the obvious, “but I wouldn’t say no to him helping me change my brake pads.”

“My mom’s retirement party is in March. Does he do the fake boyfriend thing, or will that cost extra?”

“Cost extra? If Richie Rich isn’t paying for everything, what’s the point?"

The jokes came fast and easy, but Penelope wasn't finding them very funny. What was he, some sugar daddy for these girls to use and discard? Sure, maybe he did stuff for her sometimes that didn’t exact fall under a landlord’s duties, but that was different. They were friends, they did things for each other, took care of each other. It wasn’t like that.

She was special.

She tried not to acknowledge the thought, just like she tried not to face the fact that she didn’t want to share that with anyone. She didn’t want to share him.

Being quiet really wasn’t a Penelope trait, so her friends took pointed notice that she wasn’t joining the banter. They had been hearing about this guy for years, wondering when or if the two would ever stop dancing around each other. Of course, it is entirely possible for a man and a woman to be close friends on an entirely platonic basis.

But its also possible to be in denial when one’s feelings start to change.

They had listened over the years as he became increasingly important in her life. And they certainly were not above baiting Penelope into admitting it.

“Hey Pen, you’ve seen him in bike shorts. What’s he packin’?” one bold voice asked. Penelope went rigid in her seat. “Now there’s one tool of his I’d like to borrow!”

Oh hell no.

“Well, you can’t!” Penelope snapped.

“Well, if no one else is using it…”

“He’s not a gigolo, or some boy-toy for you to play with!” Penelope exploded. "He’s been through a lot and he’s had too many people let him down!”

Pam settled a hand on her arm and Penelope realized she had been shifting in her seat in agitation. “Penelope, we’re just joking around. You know that. Can we talk about why it bothers you so much?”

“He’s such a good man and so many people look down on him and treat him like he is worthless, even his own family. I don't want that for him. He deserves better.”

“We know he means a lot to you-”

“Yeah. He does.” Penelope cut Pam off. “I don’t know what I’d do with out him. I rely on him to help me with my anxiety attacks. I trust him with my mami and my kids. I, I…”

She groped for the words, trying to find some way to explain it to these women. To make them understand that Schneider’s presence in her life was a blessing, that any person would be lucky to have him around. How to make them see what an amazing guy he is. And also why she couldn’t stand anyone else getting the same special Schneider treatment she got. Didn’t want to do it all without his help.

The group didn’t make it easier for her. They could sense Penelope was on the cusp of a revelation. There were no jokes now, no pointed comments about Schneider’s abs, or queries into any desire Penelope might have to run her tongue over them. They knew that when Penelope got started, sometimes it was best to just let her go, let her ramble and rant and rave until she led herself to the obvious conclusion. They had been waiting for her to work this one out.

Penelope looked around at the expressions on their faces. No one seemed surprised by her spirited defense of Schneider. More impressively, no one was even smirking in that “haha, got you to admit you don’t hate him” kinda way. Suddenly it seemed like the group knew her better than she knew herself. Like they knew what the denial had kept her from acknowledging all along and knew what she was going to say before she said it.

“Holy crap, I love him.”

Penelope breathed out a sigh at the intense realization. It was a surprise. Of course. When had she fallen for the man-baby? But judging by the feeling of relief, the loosening of a tension she hadn’t even known she was holding, it had been a long time coming. She smiled, feeling like another weight had been lifted from her chest and she was taking a full deep breath for the first time in years.

Then her mind started to race again. Her smile fell and when her eyes darted around the group again, they had a slightly panicked look in them. Acknowledging her feelings was one thing (one damned difficult thing), but acting on them?

“Well, what now?!?” she asked in a panic.

When you have time, can we get breakdowns for epusodes 3 and 4 of Bloodkeep? I'm going to be honest: I thought for sure that having a fight thousands of feet in the air was going to go about as well for Brennan as having a fight in an active volcano, but I was surprised

**spoilers for airship ambush**

I am not completely caught up on CR and I likely never will be because that backlog is truly stunning but I do know that Matt had a ship battle this season that one player (Taliesin I think) derailed completely. Now idk if that was before or after this was filmed but I have to imagine whichever one happened second had Matt flashing back to whichever one happened first. 

I really appreciate all the work Brennan puts into all the unique mechanics for all of his fight, specifically the ship stuff in this ep.

Sohkbar putting the potion in a cone of beef like he has a dog and not a horrifying monster abomination.

Efink being like, "Why did we let Galfast live?" and everyone being like, "Your??? Dumbass???? Husband???????"

Are there ever gonna be siblings on D20 who don't want each other dead? Marcus can join Adaine in the, "My sibling can go straight to hell," corner. (Kristen’s brothers don’t count, they had like zero screen time). 

"Ye shall pay for it."/"Aw come on." I love Mike.

Efink's spirit guardians are freaking Elven paparazzi.

Maggie being BFF's with John is my fave.  

Sidenote, I really love how all of these guys reskinned their attacks to make them fit their aesthetic and the campaign more.

Everyone applauding the Lord of Shadows.

A Brennan soundboard: Hell Yeah! Incredible. Bud.

MONSTER BANK.

"Who wore it better? Tom Cruise or this Mystery Bird?"

Marcus being like, "Yeah, I come from a pirate city. We're basically all bad guys."

Lilith takes a cue from Marcus and works on recruiting a SECOND eagle. And she rolls a 26!

John throwing a pocket square at the other-other eagle.

"Don't do it Leiland! You have so much to live for."

I love it when a player rolls, nods approvingly, and then is like, "Right, that's a [terribly low roll]."

Leiland being the personification of that John Mulaney gif as he falls off the ship: You know those days when you're like, this might as well happen?

Did the card for Hellish Rebuke actually say, "Set someone on fire if they hurt you"? Because if I got a card that vague as a newbie PC I'd be like, "Well he emotionally hurt me. Does that count?"

Matt using his reaction just to yell, "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

"Because you have spent a good couple of sessions establishing yourself as extremely materialistic, this object is a close personal friend of yours."

That is is one of my favorite DnD sentences ever.  

"I WILL DIE BY YOUR HAND."

Efink rolled two, twos and I had Naddpod flashbacks. Shout out to the two crew!

The annoying thing about DnD is that you can just roll total garbage for an entire session. True randomness means that, sometimes, you just can't hit anything for a full 2 hours.

"Tokyo drifting your airship."

I've said this before but it's really a shame Matt doesn't get to play more. He's a great DM obviously, but he's such a stellar player too.

Wild Nat 20 from Leiland and then he tells LIlith to CUT THE CHAIN THAT’S KEEPING HIM FROM FALLING.

The Vingury showing up is one of my favorite things. Players being forced to face the direct consequences of their own RP actions is the best. 

I think the lesson on D20 is Spirit Guardians are Good.

One-liner king Trapp purposely whiffs the easy one liner.

"There is a slim chance that all goblins in the Bloodkeep have a bomb in them. Just a slim chance."/"WHAT?"

"Did we put them there? Is that on us?"

What was Brennan on when he came up with that mechanic?

One of my other fave DnD things is having a lengthy, pointless conversation as a giant battle is happening.

lol, Efink is a cleric. I also forgot.

Poor Leiland being in the radius of her Turn Undead. Buddy.

"You're making doors! You're doing that which you hate."

Boss use of druidcraft by Lilith. I like it when people use mainly flavor spells for combat.

"You could dramatically go above decks and jump OR you can just walk through the giant hole belowdeck."

"WOT IS HAPPENING? DID SOMEONE CLOSE A DOOR ON THE SUN?"/"I thought you liked that. I'm so unclear."

Leiland is getting straight Roadrunner'd by Hamhead and it's wild. (I forgot that the players also made a Loony Tunes ref and they did it right as I was writing this line).

“Puddles of fire.”

Just waves upon waves of enemies this fight, huh? I think that’s a good DM move because it means you can gauge how it’s going and send out more or less depending on if you’re players are getting murdered or if they’re totally breezing through it.

And while we’re talking about the fight, I guess sometimes you womp the terrain and sometimes it womps you and this was a scenario 2. I also think Brennan might have been more prepared this time with like the rooting Ents and the sturdy dwarf and the waves of enemies. 

The indignity of not only getting slayed by J'er'em'ih (or however you spell that) but specifically by his butt hands. Wild. You’d think Marcus would care more about not getting the killing blow but, actually, this is almost better because it’s not even a cool, noble, aesthetic pirate death. 

Trapp: Lol. Wouldn't it be cute if it was like J'er'em'ih was flying the boat?

Brennan: No, he needs to do that. Roll.

HE ROLLS AN 18.

Everything Brennan says about J'er'em'ih is equal parts fascinating and horrifying.

"DON'T BACKSEAT DRIVE EFINK!"

Parachute J'er'em'ih is just so wild.

"Just barely better than J'er'em'ih at driving."

"Oh, you're negging me, I see."

I always forget that Leiland is floating everywhere like he's on a freaking hoverboard.

The running thing of Leiland being useful but no one being able to see it is so so good.

LOTR needed more parachuting. I mean, I assume. I've never seen LOTR.

"It seemed super metal at the time."/"As a religious choice, it makes sense but saying it's for cleanliness doesn't make any sense." These guys are so good at improv. So consistently dropping gold.

"How does physics work?" Mike Trapp asks, as if that's something that has a hard and fast answer in DnD.

"I will actively go prone to sit where I am and pout." What a whole-ass drama queen.

lol Amy finally found Brennan's limit.

Even though they didn't do it, I love how down Rekha was for the insane airship plan.

Lilith treating Leiland like her adult disaster child is my fave.

"Please push harder."

Leiland drops darkness and the Goblin rolls a nat 20 to blow up the ship. Is there a moment more encompassing of this dude's existence?

"I understand that everyone here wants to rob me of my joy." DM mood. (Matt: I genuinely feel you there [and I’m reminded of that CR ship battle.])

The last shot of everyone falling out of the sky is so nice.

"WHAT THE HECK BRENNAN!?"

Anyway, as I was finishing this up, I got an ask about the next ep which is a doozy and prob my fave of the season so far. I’ll answer it as soon as I have another block of free time!

looking for otome-based RP partners!

Hullo (hopefully future) friends! I’ve got a bit of a weird proposal.

(For anyone who saw the first one on my OTHER-OTHER side blog, this is redux, the 2.0, because that sideblog was TOO NEW to show up in tags and I am really hoping that this one shows up on this MUCH OLDER and REPURPOSED sideblog!) 

ANYWAY, here blog isn’t and probably won’t ever be an RP blog. I’ve RPed on Tumblr a lot in the past (mostly in the Homestuck community, a few years back) and while doing so was a lot of fun, it was also a lot of work! Maintaining pages, bios, graphics, etc, is all stuff I seemed to have all the time in the world for a few years back, but I find I really just don’t anymore.

Unfortunately, I don’t really know where to find RP outside of Tumblr and cherubplay (thanks again, Homestuck!) either, but Cherubplay isn’t exactly the greatest for finding anything outside of just raw-doggin-it-smut-fests and while that can be, uh, fun, it’s not really what I want to focus on when I RP.

So why am I here?

DISCORD RP!!

I’m hoping to find other people who don’t really have time to run an RP blog (or who do have time, but also might be willing to dip their toes into doing it on Discord, too, assuming you aren’t already!) for some good time plotting and roleplaying!

Which I guess brings us to the meat of this whole thing… (more, of course, under the cut!)

WHAT WILL WE RP?

I’ve been real keen on otome lately and I’m really looking to play some canon boys to your MC or OC! While I’ve certainly had my fun playing girls before (mostly in WoW, or other MMORPG settings), I find I always prefer to play dudes, and (if you’d pardon this bit of arrogance!) I think I can be pretty dang good at it!

While I do occasionally ship MxM, it’s really only something I do with my best bro, so I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’m really only interested in MxF pairings atm! I hope that’s okay with everyone.

COOL, BUT WHAT SERIES? WHAT CHARACTERS?!

I’d like to say I have a pretty healthy familiarity with a lot of otome, but I’m not sure I’d be the hottest at RPing them all! If it can’t be guessed by my avatar, I’m kind of on a Hakuouki kick right now, so I’m partial to that, for sure, but for ease of readability and so you can get a good idea of what I’m open to, I’ll list them in some nicely formatted order.

Hakuouki Characters

Okita :: Okita is tied for my personal favorite Hakuouki dude with Sannan, but I think I’d enjoy playing him a lot more than Sannan (which isn’t to say I wouldn’t like to play him, too!). I’ve always been partial to smirky, tease-y boys, especially when they’re struggling with confronting their feelings.

Sannan :: Sannan speaks to my love of polite but cold characters, and it’s only a bonus that he’s a megane, which I’ve also always loved! As mentioned above, he’s probably tied with Okita as favorite Hakuouki dude, but I think Okita’d be easier to play.

Kazama :: Kazama is fun because I’ve always had a love for garbage can style kidnap-and-seduce plotlines if that was your kind of thing!

Saito :: I love Saito aesthetically and his personality is pretty rad and I’d rank him as pretty up their on faves, but I admit I don’t have overmuch experience when it comes to awkward slow-to-open-up kinda boys! I’m sure we could make it work though.

Other dudes :: I’d be willing to try honestly most anyone from Hakuouki but these are the ones above are the ones I feel most confident/interested in playing! If you’d like someone else, you can most certainly ask, especially if you have some kind of plotline you’d like to see!

===

Diabolik Lovers

Oh baby, yeah I am totally into this hot hot dumpster fire!

Reiji :: As mentioned, I love megane, and Reiji’s probs my favorite of everyone in the whole dang series. Older? Check. Smart? Check. Responsible? Check. Cold? Double check. Really fucking mean? Check. Smirky? Well, in the games, yes!

Shuu :: Sorry Reiji, but I also love Shuu. I might make him just a twinge OOC because his laziness might make advancing the plot kind of headachey, but other than tht, I love this loser.

Subaru :: Subaru, contrary to his third place on this list, is probably pretty close behind Reiji for favorites. Aggressive, ill-refined, totally willing to fight everyone – I admit I tend to play the more well-spoken and calculating kind of characters more, but I’d be willing to rock Subaru for you to the best of my ability!

Ruki :: I won’t say Ruki’s my favorite of the Mukami brothers but I like him a lot and I think I’d play him well!

Everyone else except Azusa and Kou :: Spoiler: I love Azusa to death and find him adorable but I don’t really relish playing openly masochistic characters, so he’s a no go unless we can work something out! Kou is – no offense, but I just really do not like Kou. As far as the famous Sakamaki triplets go, Kanato is one of my absolute all time favorites, and I’d be willing to play him with the right person… but we all know he’s kind of an absolute nutbag, so I’m hesitant to dump that on anyone! Ayato is a staple and Laito could be… like Kanato, I think I’d have to feel pretty assured by my partner they could handle the grosser parts of his character. Open to exploring it, however!

===

Amnesia

I’m not gonna bother sectioning everyone into neat little areas cause there is so few, but Toma is my favorite (I’m a real sucker for yandere, whoops). I’d be willing to play him, of course, provided my partner was comfortable with it! I’d also be willing to do Kent (my second favorite!), Shin and maaaaaaybe Ukyo. Sorry, I didn’t really care for Ikki – not because Ikki was bad (he was actually cool!) but because fan girl route characters drive me BANANAS.

===

Other fandoms :: Hit me up and ask if you want me to try anything! I might surprise you!

===

AND SO THAT LEAVES US WITH… WHAT WILL YOU PLAY?

Honestly, I’m gonna be real with everyone here: I love roleplaying because it’s like writing fanfiction with someone else, so it’s all the fun and self indulgence of fanfiction, but better, cause ya know – someone else is doing it with you! And I’m really here for the self indulgence, so please go ham.

Yeah, you can play the MC of the game, and I’d be cool with that! But honestly, I love OCs, and I’d love to hear about and plot with your OCs. I have some ideas for potential plots (especially for Hakuouki), but I’m also open to your ideas, too, and I think a lot of plots could work best outside the confines of a pre-established MC. Also, you get to show me your drawings/face-claims/whatever for your characters, and that’s pretty rad!!

Also, as someone had asked when I tried to post this on my previously non-functional blog, I’m also open to crossovers! I’m cool even if I don’t know much about the character -- you’ll just have to pardon my ignorance.

===

So, uh… RULES? RP STYLE? ETC? SOME POORLY ORGANIZED POINTS

+ Yeah, I’m deffo 21+ so ideally you would be too, especially if there’s anything like, remotely scandalous going on! I’m not too sure I feel very comfortable RPing with anyone younger than 18, mostly just because there’d be such a big age difference between us. Rest assured it isn’t because I think I’m better than you, or being ageist! It’s mostly just for my own sense of comfort!

+ Speaking of scandalous, I don’t push hard for anything super graphic unless that’s your style because I’m very much a person who loves drowning in the emotions of “holy crap does this guy really like this lady a lot”. I tend to be over indulgent as heck when it comes to inner monologues describing just how much your character makes mine’s heart go doki-doki, so expect a lot of that. If we start heading towards fuck-making of the graphic non-fade-to-black-variety, we should deffo discuss the sorts of things you discuss before those scenes! (Kinks? I GUESS???) But, as mentioned, it’s deffo not at all on top of my list of prerogatives. We need to BUILD for that!

+ My RP style tends to be 3rd or 2nd (lmao, Homestuck) person, present tense, a couple paragraphs to “oh my god, you can shut up now”. You can write however you like, with my only request being that you be passably literate! Not like, snootily literate. You get what I mean? I hope so. ):

+ As far as activity goes, I’m also fine with the Tumblr esque style of replying whenever you get around to it! If we both happen to be on for a barrage of replies, great! If we can only get one or two out a day, also great! I’m pretty easy going, honestly.

+ I love working in universe and also going mad with AUs. Find some cute starters or AU ideas on tumblr and you wanna throw them at me? I’m always open. From vampires where there are none to school AUs to coffee shop AUs I am willing to try most things, but note: I am primarily a fan of DRAMATIC ROMANCE so keep that in mind!

+ Want some kinda crazy love triangle where your lady is pursued by not one, BUT TWO DUDES? We can probably make it happen!

+ I run the gamut from fluffy and sweet romance to angsty yandere esque stuff, so please feel free to talk to me about what kind of dude you’d like!

===

A SAMPLE OF MY STYLE:

It has been months, Okita reminds himself. It has been months, and months, and more months on top of that – almost a year, maybe a little more, even, and as he sets his teeth behind that constant wolf’s grin, he thinks to himself: You should be better than this. You should be stronger.

But for all the time he’s spent with her, it has never gotten easier. No, no – it has only ever gotten worse, and it’s particularly bad now that he’s alone with her, now that she’s so close –

“Okita-san?” Her voice rings in his ears like a few plucked notes of some delicate string instrument, and he feels his lips part, his smile all teeth. She’s paused, midway between pouring him a cup of tea, and her eyes – ever and much too familiar – meet his with a hint of shyness Okita feels guilty for relishing. “Are you okay?”

“Worried about me, mn?” He rolls his head from one shoulder to the next, halfway between a shrug and a stretch, and tries very hard to resist the urge to pull her towards him, into him, that he might catch more of the rich perfume that lingers along the line of her throat. “You shouldn’t be.”

You should, he thinks, and not without a hint of guilt, be more worried about yourself.

===

ANYWAY, IT’S LATE.

I feel like I’m missing some garbage, but I’ll probably add to this tomorrow when I inevitably remember what I forgot! If you’re interested, send me an ask or a submission or a Tumblr… DM? We can work from there with regards to exchanging contact info!

581

Where did you get the pants you are wearing from? They’re my sister’s; I borrowed them for the semester because these shorts are conducive for my PE classes, but since we already finished the class last week I should probs give it back to her soon. Do you find smoking unattractive? I used to, but now I can’t really say that I hate it. Have your parents ever searched your personal belongings? They did, back in Grade 6. They took away two of my very private diaries and ever since then I never wrote down my thoughts in a notebook. I never did get the two back. Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? I thought I could, then my friends made me try a margarita a month after I turned 18 hahaha. Is there someone you'll never forget? There are loads of people I haven’t and will never forget; this is a very broad question.

Do you miss someone right now? Yes. Last time you were on the phone? Just to use it? Maybe some four minutes ago. But the last time I was on a call – if that’s what you meant – was last night. Do you get distracted easily? Yeup. Earlier I was doing a reading, picked up my phone for a short break, then never realized I was on my phone for the next two hours. Have your parents ever caught you drinking? They never ‘caught’ me; whenever I do drink I let them know/ask permission. I respect them enough to do that because I know how alcohol had nearly ruined our family in the past. Do you think flirting is cheating? Uhhhhhhh yes. Do you hate the last girl, other than family, you had a conversation with? I could never hate Gab. Who was the last person you sat next to in a car with? It was my brother.  Is your room messy or clean? Fairly clean. I had a general cleaning of my room not too long ago. Do you drink tea? Not the hot or herbal kind. I only have iced tea occasionally. Wish you could be somewhere else right now? Sort of? Kind of? Idk it’s either way. I’m content that I’m home but I wouldn’t mind being out drinking right now too. What are you listening to right now? I can only hear the electric fan’s white noise. I don’t feel like listening to music. Where did you get your last bruise from? I don’t remember my most recent bruise but it probably has something to do with PE and me hitting the mat/floor way too hard. Are you looking forward to anything? The weekend. When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? The fact that I stared at this question for a good minute must mean I haven’t thought this in a while lmao. That’s gotta be a good thing! Whose house where you last at? Other than mine, Gab’s. When someone says 'we need to talk', what do you think: If I know that that person doesn’t have a problem/potential problem with me, I just assume it’s something light. The only time this was said to me and it turned out to be something bad was my mom gathering us to say that our grandpa died, so I don’t really have a bad experience in general with that sentence. Tell me what's on your mind? I would have been able to sleep in tomorrow if I didn’t accept a 10 AM commitment and now I’m hating myself loads. It’s exhausting to accept an executive position sometimes. Will you be in bed before 11 tonight? I doubt it; it’s already 9:55 and I just started on this survey. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? It’s fine, but it’s not super solid or anything. They don’t know anything about me other than what I post on Facebook. How much money did you spend today? I spent P45 on an egg and cheese sandwich just to get through my hunger this morning, and my orders from online shopping came so I dropped P1,120 on that hahaha. In other words, I’m slowly GOING BROKE Can you see a cat from where you're sitting? Nope. I can see a dog, though. Who was your last text from? My professor for a history class. I’m the beadle in this class, so he texts me reminders from time to time. What was the last bad thing that happened to your phone? It’s fairly new so it hasn’t acted up ever. The only bad thing that happens to it is me dropping it D: What's been upsetting you lately? I am so fucking burned out from this semester and just wish it’s over already. Is there anyone getting on your nerves at the moment? Nope, everyone’s safe. Is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind? Nopes.

Last place you fell asleep other than a bed? The living room couch, I think. Does it take a lot to make you cry? Not at all. I’m an easy target. Do you have a dog? Yes, the goodest and bestest. Do you like to wear pants? No, I hate jeans and wish I had more shorts than jeans. How many people do you trust fully? I trust everybody I know, is the thing. I feel like my loved ones and friends deserve that. But I can cut off ties with them very easily if they abuse that trust. When you're bored in class, what do you usually do? I use my phone but make sure I’m hidden behind my laptop. If that’s too risky, I’ll doodle whatever lyrics on my notebook (if I’m writing). Otherwise I’d just check my social media on my laptop. What’s your favorite color out of these five? Green, Yellow, Blue, Pink: Pink. What was the first thing you said when you woke up today? “...Already?” I set my alarms this morning for 4 AM, 4:30 AM, and 5:30 AM. I woke up at the 4 AM alarm, went back to sleep, and the next alarm that woke me was the 5:30 one. I must have turned off the 4:30 one too but I was probably half-sleepy and groggy AS FUCK because I don’t remember turning that one off at all. Do you get 8 hours of sleep everyday? Yeah. I kinda have to because the way I run during the day depends on the amount of sleep I get. Ever like someone older than you? I haven’t. What's your favorite amusement park? I don’t really have any. Universal Studios in Singapore was great fun though. Are you cold at this very moment? A little bit. I’ve since turned on the AC and also have an electric fan directed at me, so I’m quite chilly. Do you prefer people who talk a lot or are quiet? Depends on my mood..sometimes I’m talkative, and sometimes I just want to be on my laptop and be undisturbed. Is there someone in your life you wish you never met? Other than incompetent groupmates from past projects who temporarily made my life a living hell, not really. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? 7 to 10. Nothing more, nothing less. What do you think Avril Lavigne is doing at the moment? This question is so creepy. What's one fear are you most paranoid about? Not getting a nice enough job that doesn’t pay enough. Have you ran into an old friend recently? A couple of weeks ago I bumped into Mils; I was headed to my car and she was headed to class. It was super brief; we just said hi and she complimented my water bottle (which I have since lost lmao). Have you ever had a song stuck in your head for more than a day? Most likely. Could you go a whole year without cursing? I doubt it. Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? TV! I gave that up like, 6 years ago lol. That’s no problem for me now. Have you ever liked someone who had a girl/boyfriend? No, I haven’t. As of this minute, what is going through your mind? I want to play Mario Kart Tour again but I have to finish this survey first. Does anyone know your password besides you? Gab and my sister. Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you? I dunno, I’ve never been in that situation. Have you ever ridden a horse? Yes. Are you a patient person? I’m patient with people more; I don’t like the other aspects of waiting, like traffic or waiting in line for something. Could you go a day without eating? I could, but it would suck and it would hurt and I’d probably pass out. Honestly, are things going the way you planned? More than, I guess. I mean I didn’t plan on making it to 21, so I guess everything I do from here on out is more than what I had planned. Are you a forgiving person? No. I prefer holding grudges. When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep? HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH YES What is something you disliked about today? My anthropology professor instructed us to watch a film over the weekend. Completely forgot about it of course, and crammed my viewing the night before even though I was already tired. Today, I walked into the room to find out we were gonna watch the exact same movie as a class anyway; meaning I could have rested up last night lolololololol but guess not When's the last time you had a headache? A week ago, I think. Is there anything that you are craving right now? A burger from Pound :( And samgyupsal, ughhhhhhhh. What was the first thing you thought of this morning? How I fucking hate my Wednesday schedule. What part of your body hurts right now? I’m good at the moment. Eyes are starting to feel heavy though. Is there anyone you would like to just appear at your front door right now? Not really. Gab’s working tonight and I wouldn’t want her to drop everything just to surprise me at home. What is something that you realized today? I really dislike my course. I had a very productive afternoon today and started work on each of my final requirements for all my classes this semester – I met progress with every single major requirement, except for those of my journ electives, about which I could really not care less. Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be? No. Do you remember who your first crush was? Yeah, my 5th grade science teacher. I remember feeling ashamed to disclose it on these surveys back when I was new to this, but it’s been like ten years and I’ve gotten old as fuck and I can just spit it out now lmao. Ever walked into the guy's bathroom? I don’t think so. Have you ever cried from being so mad? Sure. What's a word that starts with the third letter of your first name? Binoculars. Do you have a bad temper? I can, most especially on my period. How many wives or husbands do you want? Wow, just one please. What's the closest pink object to you? My keyboard cover. Do you consider yourself lucky? No. Whats on your bedroom floor right now? A single sock that I’m too lazy to pick up for now, and my dog. Do you trust anyone? I trust lots of people. What's your favorite color gummy bear? Maybe red? I like strawberry/cherry flavored gummies. What's the last movie you saw in the theater? Portrait of a Lady on Fire. If you could push one person off of a mountain, who would it be? Duterte. Wish you could be somewhere else right now? Meh, yes and no. What color is your iPod? I don’t use it anymore, but my Nano is blue. What should you be doing right now? Sleeping maybe? Or at least settling in. Do you like roller coasters? Nope. One famous guy you would marry in an instance? Does it have to be a guy? I got nothing.

Careful (Roger Taylor x Reader)

Chapter Summary: After one last party before the boys’ tour there’s quite an intimate talk that’s been long overdue between Tiffany and Roger - at least if you asked drunk him. 

Author’s Note: Roger’s being very two faced, being that cute and that angry so shortly after each other but I kinda like this about his character, I was hoping it’d give him some depth and I’d be glad if you noticed, I guess. This might not be an easy chapter, please consider the warning!

Words: ~2.5k

Warnings: One (1) man is getting very drunk. Actually it’s more than one. Also, there’s a really bad pickup line and men are being assholes, please be aware and consider skipping this chapter, I don’t wanna upset you. Fists are almost thrown and there’s a whole lot of bad language. Also, mentions of sex. There’s a lot going on in this one, sorry, I guess. 

Chapter 10

Previous Parts

The next weekend would be the last one before the tour which was why you agreed to go out with the boys one last time. Roger would’ve stayed in with you for sure but you wanted to say goodbye to your other friends that didn’t happen to be your roommates, too. The only thing you didn’t calculate were all the drinks apart from the beers and ciders they were ordering. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t-“, you tried to explain and Roger just kissed you with a smile before he took the shot from your hand and downed it in split seconds, pulling a face afterwards. “You alright?”

“Of course, my love, don’t worry”, he told you with a reassuring smile, kissing you again. 

“Oh, come on, safe that for later, would you?”, Freddie said and Veronica slapped him. 

“Usually it’s you and Mary. Also, let them have their fun as long as they still can.”

“Next time I’ll try and join you, too”, you whispered to Roger. “Maybe Roni won’t feel that special anymore, then.” He just snorted and pulled you closer. 

“I doubt that, Tiffy, she’s like that no matter what. You wanna go outside for a smoke?” His eyes said something else than his words and it made you giggle. 

“I’m gonna let you smoke in here if you stop looking like that!” Roger grinned back before he buried his lips on your neck for a second. 

“I’ll safe it for later, then”, he whispered before he shifted to be able to pull out his cigarettes and Freddie let go of Mary’s hand quickly to steal one from him. Roger rolled his eyes but lit it for him nonetheless.

After a few more drinks, the whole pub was on their feet to dance to some old Led Zeppelin songs and the boys’ euphoria made you join them even though you didn’t feel half as comfortable as Mary and Veronica. You looked at them, dancing with their boyfriends and smiled when Roger lazily attempted to spin you around like that, before you got too dizzy and were just giggling in his arms, asking him to stop. 

“Sorry, babe”, he mumbled, kissing you again hungrily. His lips tasted like cigarettes and that brown German alcohol Freddie had ordered way too much of. 

“It’s fine”, you assured him, trying to get back in the rhythm of the dance. You ended up watching them from a seat at the bar though, in need of a short break to catch a breath. You could tell they were all enjoying themselves but you also saw that Freddie and Roger were clearly competing to be the drunkest of the night, smoking cigarette after cigarette. And if you’d thought things started going downhill then, you were proven wrong five minutes later when they really started to. 

“What’s a nice place like you doing in a girl like this?”, someone slurred behind you and then there were hands on your hips, making you jump. 

“Excuse me, let go!”, you told the man off as strict as you could master in the shock he’d caused you. 

“Come on, doll, just -“

“No!”, you cut him off. “Leave me alone!”

“What’s your fucking prob-“

“Didn’t you hear her, she told you to leave”, a firm voice interrupted the man and another guy in a dark grey jacket stepped in sight, getting between you and that gross guy. 

“What do you want-“

“I want you to leave!”, the other one answered, forcing the other guy to move until they were both out of your sight and you breathed in relieve. You eyed for your friends who were still dancing like there was no tomorrow and you were glad they didn’t notice while you also wished it would’ve been Roger to come to your rescue. 

“I’m sorry this happened”, your actual rescuer got your attention again a few moments later. “I’m Marco.”

“Tiffany”, you replied silently. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, Tiffany. Can I buy you a drink?”

“I’m good, thank you”, you said and tried to give him a smile. 

“What brought you here if not the wish to get drunk and to make a fool out of yourself?”, he asked you, grinning to not offend you.

“My friends wished to do exactly so”, you replied, nodding your head into their direction and Marco’s eyebrows rose up a little. He came up with a smooth answer, though, resulting in the two of you getting into a rather interesting conversation about your studies and work, Marco turning out to be close to earning his doctor title in medicine. 

***

“Get your hands off her!”, you heard Roger rage, interrupting you giggle over some story Marco had told you and you pulled your hand away from his, asking yourself how you didn’t notice his touch in the first place.

“Hey, I wasn’t -“, Marco tried to explain himself but Roger didn’t even listen. You could tell he wasn’t seeing or thinking straight anymore, he couldn’t even stand for the love of god but he still managed to almost make Marco fall off his bar-chair. 

“Roger, stop! What are you doing?!”, you tried to get between them but if Brian hadn’t grabbed him, Roger would’ve hit Marco with everything he had. He’d only seen another man with you, not really caring if you wanted him to touch you or not but the jealousy really got the best of him, the alcohol in his system only feeding his fury. 

“You bloody bastard, touching another man’s girl behind his back?!”, he called the other man out while Brian was trying his best to keep him from breaking free. 

“Is that your boyfriend?”, Marco asked you, his eyes rather wide in shock. 

“Not technically but you could say we’re dating”, you tried to be diplomatic. 

“Every one here knows who’s gonna shag her tonight except you, you absolute dickhead. Leave her alone already!”, Roger rambled and you blushed. 

“Sorry”, you said silently and Marco’s brows furrowed. 

“No I’m sorry. Good night”, he said, grabbing his coat and then he left, leaving you alone with a raging Roger and a desperate Brian. 

“Can you get him outside, he really needs fresh air”, you asked Brian whose lips were starting to turn white from how hard he pressed them together, trying to activate his last powers to get Roger to the street. 

“You bloody dumbass, calm down now!”, he told his blonde friend. “You’re gonna scare her away if you don’t stop acting like an idiot.”

“She’s mine, Bri”, Roger slurred and you rolled your eyes, getting back inside to get yours Roger’s coat. 

“Tiff, you alright?”, Mary asked when she saw you. 

“We’re leaving. Roger is drunk and causing a gigantic scene.”

“Oh god, should I help you?”

“I don’t think you’re getting Freddie out of here already”, you admitted and she followed your gaze where Freddie was dancing on a table. “You better help your boy and I’m gonna go help mine and I’ll see you tomorrow, yes?”

“Yeah”, Mary quickly said, hurrying over to Freddie already. When you met Brian and Roger again they were said on the sidewalk and Roger looked like he’d been hit by a car. 

“Let’s get you home, Rockstar”, you said, grabbing one of his arms to get him to his feet but you wouldn’t have been able to put his coat on him without Brian’s help. 

“You sure you can walk him home?”

“It’s not that far, thanks, Bri”, you assured him, getting one of Roger’s arms on your shoulders to keep him stable. 

“Fuck, Tiff, fuck”, he kept mumbling while he stumbled his way home next to you, the stairs being the biggest problem, really. 

“No, no, no, no”, you told him off when he made a beeline for your bedroom. “You’re not going anywhere except the bathroom.”

“But I wanna -“ He made his intensions quite clear when he took a step towards you, pushing your back against the wall behind you and Roger smiled to himself proudly, moving to kiss your neck. 

“Get off me!”, you told him, pushing him away though. “You smell horrible, Roger, I’m not gonna let you come close to me if you don’t wash yourself!”, you told him, getting angry now. You still felt his hot, short-coming breath on your face, a mixture of vodka and other drinks and cigarettes and only the smell made your stomach twist. He was looking at you pretty cross eyed as if he was trying to make out your features before he took a step back and stumbling towards the bathroom. He tried to unbutton his dark-red shirt but he didn’t even manage to do one button, standing on very insecure feet.

“Fuck, Tiff’ny, please, I need help”, he slurred on, getting a terrible hick-up. You sighed and followed him, unbuttoning his shirt quickly, unable to resist to run your fingers over his hot skin. Roger closed his eyes, sighing silently. “‘M sorry, babe, so sorry.”

“Rogie, take a deep breath. Everything’s fine”, you whispered, wiping his hands off your hips to take his shirt off him, his shoes and jeans following quickly after. You helped him get in the shower even though he let himself slide down the wall as soon as he was in there and you sighed, getting a washcloth to help him get clean, washing his hair and his face as well before you dried him off and helped him up. 

“God, I feel awful”, he mumbled when you had him lay down in his bed. 

“That’s why I got you here, you’re not getting sick in my room. I’m gonna get you some water.” Roger just nodded even though you were sure he didn’t really understand your words. He looked incredible thankful though when you got him a fresh bottle of water and he drank almost half of it before he let his head fall heavy on his pillow. 

“Please stay with me. Don’t leave me”, he mumbled and you giggled, sitting down next to him. 

“I need to change, babe.”

“Be my girlfriend.”

“What?”

“I said”, he mumbled, his voice still muffled by his pillow until he forced himself to sit up and tried to focus his eyes on you. “That I’d like you to be my girlfriend. I know I don’t deserve it but I don’t want to leave you without being sure that you’re mine and I’m yours.”

“You, Roger Taylor want to be mine?”, you replied, blinking in confusion. 

“And I want you, Tiffany Abberforth, to be mine, if you’ll have me, yes”, Roger answered nodding. The length of his sentences was draining him but your smile made it all worth it. 

“I’d love to”, you told him, hugging him in excitement. 

“Not that tight, please, love”, he said, struggling to breath yet smiling. “Thank you. That’s fucking great.” You kissed him and felt Roger smile into your lips before his hands moved into your hair and he moaned because you got fully onto his lap. “I was right in the end”, he said with a grin. “I’m the one who ends up shagging you.”

“You deserve to rot in hell”, you told him, only being able to keep a serious face for three seconds. Roger joined you in relieve, when you started laughing though, pulling you into his arms. “It was completely unnecessary but jealous you is rather sexy”, you told him when you caught your breath again. 

“You’re sexy all the time, my love”, he murmured into you skin, leaving some open mouthed kisses on your neck, making your eyes close and your body sink into his, glad to be close to him again. You felt desire rising in your lower stomach again, your thighs started to ache for his touch and Roger grinned because he could tell by how your hips found his, grinding yourself into him slowly, making his member go hard in an instant. 

“How can you even do that, you were so piss drunk!”, you told him in surprise and Roger chuckled. 

“I just said it, you’re sexy and that’s all it takes.”

*-*-*-*-*

Roger was still deeply asleep when you woke up the next morning, from his snorting, actually but you smiled to yourself, getting up slowly to get yourself a tea without waking him up. Freddie was in the kitchen with Mary, basically inhaling the scrambled eggs she’d made for him. 

“Hey there”, you greeted them, putting new water on the stove for your tea. 

“Hi”, Mary said with a smile. “You want some eggs? If Freddie is kind enough to leave some for other people.”

“Sorry, love”, he said after he’d eaten another huge fork full. “Where’s blondie?”

“Still asleep, he’s alright though.”

“He’s gonna be pissed when he wakes up”, Freddie forecasted, reaching for his cup. 

“Why?”

“Because nothing cures a hangover like a blowjob”, he replied bluntly and you let your face sink into one hand. 

“Why did I even ask?”

“I was thinking just that”, Mary admitted with a giggle. 

“Hang on”, your head shot up again and you looked at them a little scared. “Do you think he’ll remember what happened last night?”

“‘d be better if he didn’t, right?”, Freddie said confused. 

“No, no, I mean, I’m.” He raised an eyebrow when you blushed and you got up again to get a teabag. “Eventually, he asked me to be his girlfriend”, you said slowly and Freddie’s face softened. 

“I was wondering when he’d finally cut the bullshit and do it.”

“But I couldn’t remind him if he didn’t know anymore, could I?”

“Honestly if he forgot that, he wouldn’t deserve to have you as his girlfriend. But I don’t think he forgot, darling.”

“Hope you’re right, Fred”, you thanked him with a smile. 

***

Roger found you in the living room a couple of hours later, unable to sit on your desk and study that day. 

“Hey there, not being a busy bee today?”, he asked you softly when he got next to you on the couch, cuddling into you tighter than ever before you felt like. 

“Couldn’t really be bothered if I’m honest”, you admitted, snuggling your head into his neck. 

“You deserve a day off”, he mumbled, burying his fingers in your hair. “Again, I’m sorry for last night."

“Don’t be, it’s alright”, you whispered softly and he leant down to kiss you. 

“I didn’t dream it, did I?”

“I don’t know”, you teased him, fighting down your smile. “What do you think happened?”

“You know what happened”, he teased you back, grinning after his face had shown his worry for a second. “You sold your soul to the devil, you know that?”

“I’m your girlfriend now, not Freddie’s”, you said, making you both laugh before Roger’s lips found yours in a hungry kiss. 

Tags:

@discodeakyy @crazyweirdocalledfriday @blondecarfucker

Gav800 Week - Day Five - Family

Day 5 of @gav800-week

Not too fond of this one and I’ll probs wake up in the morning and edit the shit out of it but here you go !

People had managed to invent androids, cars that drove themselves, made massive leaps in medical capabilities. How the fuck hadn’t they managed to make keyboards that didn’t have that dumb clicking noise every time you pressed a letter?

This is what his job had become. Typing away and finishing up case reports because he wasn’t sanctioned to go back out into the field yet. Something about Fowler not wanting him to ‘have a flashback or a panic attack’ whilst he was out working cases. Connor said that it made sense. Gavin thought it was bullshit.

He wasn’t going to freeze in the middle of a crime scene, he wasn’t going to whimper like a baby because some bad guy tried to run away. He could do his job just as well as he always could. One jackass with a knife wasn’t going to completely fuck up his career. A whole precinct thinking that he was some shitty porcelain little doll? That was going to fuck up his career. All he wanted to do was go to one, singular crime scene. To get out from behind a desk, away from a computer, and try to track down the bad guy, find the motive and the opportunity and then send someone after him so that he can say ‘yeah I solved that’. That was all Gavin wanted.

“Everything okay?”

Gavin turned in his chair to look up at his…. Boyfriend? That was what they called each other outside of work but at work it seemed to be nothing more than work colleagues. He didn’t mind that, or at least he didn’t think he did. It meant things stayed the same, there were no questions asked, no threats from Hank, it was easy. It also kind of sucked.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good,” he nodded, turning back to the screen, “Just working on a report that I have nothing to do with.”

He was sounding like a whiny baby but he really was over it. He wanted to be out and about but he was stuck.

Connor didn’t make a sound for a short while, his eyes scanning over the screen before he seemed to decide to just completely change the topic of conversation.

Connor’s voice was pitched at a lower tone as he took a seat on the desk, looking down at Gavin. “I was reading about… relationships… online and the common practises-”

“Don’t make it sound too formal, Tincan. Makes it boring.”

Connor went silent again. Gavin spared a glance up towards him and immediately felt guilty. He knew that sometimes he was an ass but that’s how he had always been. It was part of his charm. Connor knew better than to take any of it to heart but Gavin supposed that it was different when it came to their relationship. Unlike Gavin, Connor had never dealt with feelings or relationships or anything like that. It was all so new to him and Gavin should really be taking that into account more than he currently was doing.

“.. Sorry. You were saying?”

That seemed to cheer him up a little, or at least reignite that slight excitement that Connor seemed to always to have stowed away from somewhere in his unit.

“I was reading about relationships whilst I didn’t have any cases to- well, it doesn’t matter when, I suppose.”

Gavin’s face must have pulled some sort of look. It was the only reasonable explanation behind why he would stop talking about the cases that he was working on. Instead of saying anything, he gestured for Connor to carry on again rather than waste time.

“Well… it seems to be a common thing where they… boyfriend is introduced as the… boyfriend, so I came to the conclusion that you should join Hank and I for supper tonight.”

If Gavin had been drinking coffee then it would have currently been dripping down the computer screen because that was not what he was expecting. He was expecting something more… date-like,l not… meet the father sort of thing. Also this was Hank. Hank Anderson. The grumpy old Police Lieutenant that hated his guts.

“You sure that’s a good idea?”

Connor tilted his head to one side, a confused look crossing his features again. “Well… yes. That’s why I’m suggesting it.”

“The issue with that, Con, is that Hank hates me, and rightly so. Like… I’m an asshole and the fact that you’re here and you’ve stuck it out is a gift. Like, I really appreciate it, and I’m super grateful, as you know, but me and Hank? Having dinner? Being civil? I don’t know whether it’s going to go how you want it to go.”

He wasn’t trying to upset him or anything like that but he wasn’t going to sugarcoat something that he really didn’t think was going to go well. Connor was setting himself up for failure right now. It was going to be a fail between him and Hank for a while and as soon as he found out that he was making out with his adopted son it was going to be so much harder to make him see that he was a good guy. Hell, Hank would probably think that Gavin was blackmailing him or making him do it against his will. It was going to be so much effort to get around that stick.

“How is Hank meant to start liking you if you don’t give him the chance to know you?”

Well that was a question and a half because there was no answer that didn’t make him look stupid. Gavin couldn’t really argue against that one. How was he meant to get Hank to like him if he avoided him at all cost? Avoiding Hank was the easiest thing to do but he also knew that the best thing to do, at least for Connor, was try and make an effort to show Hank that he wasn’t a complete ass and Connor was with him because he wanted to be, not because he was being forced to be with him.

“Fine. Send me his address and I’ll get there for seven.”

*-*-*-*

“You gotta be shitting me, Connor.”

Gavin rolled his eyes from where he was crouched in the doorway, hands scratching through the soft fur of the Saint Bernard that had charged him as soon as he had stepped his way into the house. At least there was something that made this whole dinner thing worthwhile - other than Connor, of course.

“Hank, I don’t think you’re-”

“No, Connor. No. This asshole has done nothing but give you shit since day one. What do you mean ‘you’re dating’? Are you fucking stupid?”

“Hank, Gavin hasn’t given me shit since the revolution. You would know that if you ever listened to anything that I was going to say without jumping in to yell about how it’s all bullshit.”

“Jumping in to yel- Connor. You’re being stupid.”

Gavin was ready to say goodbye to Connor and the dog and just head back to his own apartment. This wasn’t going to work. Hank wasn’t going to back down, that was clear. Then again, he didn’t want to admit defeat, especially not to Hank fucking Anderson. That would be too embarrassing for him and he would have to hand in his badge and become a recluse because that was the only possible right thing to do when admitting to defeat to Hank Anderson.

“Hank. Please.”

And that was all it took, paired with some puppy dog eyes, for Hank to give in to Connor’s will and fifty minutes later they were sat around the table eating whatever pasta dish it was that Connor had prepared, a terse silence between them that was only broken by the dog - now known as Sumo - and the under the breath grumbling that was coming from the older man.

They didn’t really talk much, every time he went to Hank fixed him a look. Whilst that would usually be enough to make Gavin start chatting shit purely to piss him off but this was important to Connor and that, for the moment, anyway.

Connor eventually moved to clear the plates away  before heading through to the bathroom, and Gavin was silently hoping, praying, for the silence to carry on but as soon as the android was far enough away for Hank he started to speak.

“I don’t know what you’re doing here, Reed, but you should stop. Connor’s my family-”

“Yeah, he’s your adopted son. I get it. You’ve made it plenty clear. But your family over there is in this through choice. Do you really think he’d let himself be dragged into something against his will? The dude beat my ass and left me on the floor. I’m not trying anything, I’m not setting him up to embarrass him. It’s nothing like that. So get the fuck over it and yourself and just let the dude do what he wants.”

With that, Gavin stood from the chair and headed in the direction that Connor had moved, letting himself into the bathroom. He wasn’t at all surprised to find Connor sat on the edge of the tub doing nothing.

“You know, for an android you’re not all that slick, Tincan,” he teased as he moved to sit on the edge of the tub beside him, “Shoulda guessed that you were going to leave me to try and talk to Hank. This isn’t going to go as well as you think it is and I get that you have statistics and all that shit but this is me and Hank. He’s gonna think you’re being forced into this and he’s gonna talk shit about me and it’s something that you gotta get used to, at least for a while. And it’s gonna suck cause family not supporting you is shitty. I know that but if-”

He cut himself off because the words that were going to follow on were almost an ultimatum and that wasn’t something that he wanted to give out when he couldn’t figure out how much Connor was willing to stick out.

“You’re my family too. So you’re going to have to try and he is too but you being here is a start and I appreciate that.”

Connor was smiling at him, looking over at him as Gavin tried to figure out what he was supposed to be doing next. Instead Gavin decided to say fuck it to words and leaned forwards, kissing Connor gently. It was only a quick peck, nothing stupid or too much, but just enough to let Connor know that he was serious about the whole making an effort thing.

“Thank you, Gavin.”

“No problem, Tincan. For you.”

Survey #191

“i got a baseball bat beside my bed to fight off what’s inside my head.”

Museum date or aquarium date? I suppose aquarium. Have you ever been a part of a protest or a march? No. Do you play any video games? Yes. Did you ever have an emo or scene phase? Yes. Name a subject you know a lot about. Meerkats. How would you describe your style? Too-Poor-To-Dress-Goth-So-Wears-Band-Merch-And-Graphic-Tees-Instead. What’s something most people love that you hate? Coffee. Who knows the most about you? Sara. Applesauce or pudding? Pudding. If you could create ANY mix-up or mythical animal and have it be brought to life, what would it be? I think I've mentioned a meerkat with butterfly wings before? Or bird wings? Describe a moment that is a prominent memory, but didn’t have a strong impact on your life. Uhhhh there's a lot. One random one would be learning to ride my bike. If there was one problem/issue you could wipe off the face of the earth, what would it be? Ohhhhhhhhhh god, there's so much. Maybe poverty? Do you think everyone in our lives serves a purpose, or are some people just there? In the story of your own life, no, not everyone. How do you feel about getting your picture taken? I hate it. Most embarrassing poster you’ve ever owned? Never owned one I was embarrassed by. When was the last time you were in a public setting and a stranger annoyed you? I'm not sure. Strangest pet peeve? Probably how much I hate people going in/out the wrong door. If you could make a guest appearance in ANY show, which one would you choose? Uhhhh Supernatural, maybe? Who do you think is the most underrated comedian? I don't know enough comedians for this, nevermind less successful ones. Do you always make eye contact with people when you’re speaking to them? No; this is something I'm super awkward about. I don't know how long "normal" eye contact is, so I think it's very easy to notice how, when talking to you, my eyes will suddenly wander. Could you see yourself having a child with the last person you kissed? We physically can't. We both don't want kids, anyway. Who is your favorite person to have random conversations with? SARA. When you were small, did you ever ask where babies came from? If you did, do you remember what your parents told you? I think I did, but I don't remember. What’s the nicest compliment you’ve ever been given? That I was/am "absolutely beautiful" and deserve "everything in the world." Who did you have your first kiss with? How did you meet that person? Jason. We "met" via Facebook because I accepted his friend request because I thought he was a different Jason lmao. Apparently he saw me in the hall and knew he had to talk to me so somehow found out my name. Which. I still want to know how. I've come to find how creepy our origin story is lol. Have you felt butterflies in your stomach today? No. Did anyone/anything get on your nerves today? No. Think of the person you fell the hardest for. What first attracted you? I don't know which I fell hardest for, honestly... because one was to an unhealthy degree, but my bond with Sara is healthy. I know I'm closer with her than I was Jason, but I guess by definition I still "fell hardest" for him? In that case, I thought he was really unique, even odd, which I appreciated. Has anyone recently found out something you didn’t want them to know? I got to where I told my therapist about the RP hobby, per Mom's and Sara's recommendations. I'm trying to work towards not being so secretive and embarrassed by what I love, so I very slowly got it out to her as practice and as a trust exercise. Is there something you currently want, that you can’t have? HA, there's a lot. A drawing tablet, for one. Who was the last person to make you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable? LAAAAAAAAAAAAAWL. Probably the last person I had a social interaction with that wasn't my mother. Think of the last film you watched. Who was your favorite character in it? Buddy (Elf). What color is your couch? Tan. What are you known for? Probably as the unsuccessful, antisocial, lazy 23-year-old that still depends on her mother. Has anyone ever threatened you? Yes. Have you ever been scammed? I don't think so? Are you making sure you’re using your full potential? Boy, I try, but I know I don't. If you have a partner, have you ever had to sleep in separate beds? If you don’t, how would you feel if a future partner wanted separate beds? We're long-distance so like. It'd be a bummer, but that's it; I understand wanting comfort, and even I know sleeping on your own is comfier. I'm just a cuddler and would sacrifice comfiness for the sake of physical closeness. What is something you are skeptical about? People’s intentions. <<<<<< This. Is there a murder case you find absolutely fascinating? I'm sure there's some I've forgotten. What is an unusual item somebody you know owns? Ummmm. OH HA Sara keeps the complete/"good" sheds of the snakes in her room. What’s the oldest TV-show you like? When was it made? I Love Lucy, 1951. If you have a job, do you prefer morning shifts or evening shifts? N/A, but I know I'd prefer morning. Do you have a mug with your name/initials on it? No. Have you ever designed your own mug? No. Is there a game that you excel in? A number. Have you ever been in a row boat? No. What are you most confident about? Most insecure about? Ummm... probably photography, I guess? I'm most insecure about "odd" interests and hobbies. When are you most likely to say something you don’t mean? When I'm angry. When was the last time that you saw fire? I'm not sure. Probably while lighting a match to burn some incense. Do you like wearing sunglasses? Why or why not? No. I don't like my vision being dimmed. What do you think in general of girls with short hair? Rock it. How about guys with long hair? Usually attractive to me. Have you ever seen somebody get shot? No. Would you ever try one of those DNA kits? Totally. With films in languages you do not speak, do you prefer a dub or subtitles? It depends if the voiceovers are convincing or not. Generally, I like those because subtitles distract me. Which cuisine do you like the least? That I've tried, Japanese. Are there any foods you dislike because of the texture? YEAH. LOOOOOTS. Do you let your pets sleep in your bed? Yes, except Bentley. Who are your favorite songwriters? Otep Shamaya probs tops the list. What are your favorite one-hit wonders? YO "My Own Worst Enemy" by Lit is a BOP. Have you ever seen anybody naked by accident? Maybe? Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about a celebrity? ... lol yes. Have you ever changed your clothes in the car? Yeah. About how quickly does your hair grow? UGH, fast. Because I have it short now, it's overgrown in like, two months. It looks awful where it is now, but I should be getting it cut this month. Do you have to/choose to shave anything unusual? Fuck "have to." No one has to shave anything if they don't want to. But anyway, I suppose you can consider above my lip "unusual." Much to my annoyance, I have dark body hair so develop the dreaded "ladystache" if I leave it alone for too long. Do you groom (wax, pluck, or thread) your eyebrows? No. If you wear makeup, what are your preferred brands? N/A Did your school have somewhere for girls to get emergency pads/tampons? Yes, but for a bit of change. Fucking stupid. Did you have to take showers after gym before going to your next class? No. Were you in any extracurricular activities or clubs in high school? I was in the art and honors club, but we didn't do after-school activities. Have you ever picked up and kept a rock because it caught your eye? I think. Have you ever laughed at a scene (TV/film) that wasn’t meant to be funny? Ha, I'm sure. Have you seen any Hannibal movies other than The Silence of the Lambs? I haven't even seen that, but I want to. I know it's a classic and have heard great about it from horror fans. Have you read any of the Hannibal novels? No. Do you like any indie movies? Probably. What part of a man’s body do you find most attractive? I'm suuuuch a sucker for prominent shoulder blades/moderately muscular backs. What part of a woman’s body do you find most attractive? I'm weak for hips. Do you think guys look good in makeup? YO most I see doing it fucking rock that shit. I deeply respect guys who embrace their more feminine traits. Do you like using clay and/or peel-off masks for skincare? No. Do you like bread crust on pizza or do you prefer it cut off? Mmmmm love it. Have you ever driven while drunk/intoxicated? No, absolutely never would. What’s the worst/hardest drug you’ve taken? N/A What is the worst/hardest drug you’ve been offered, but declined to partake in? Nothing. If you’ve ever tried drugs or alcohol, what was your reason for trying it? I was just curious about how it tasted and knew a bit wouldn't hurt me. Do you think you could ever have an abortion if you expectantly turned pregnant? The only way that could currently happen is if I was raped, and I don't know what I'd do. I lean towards carrying it would probably be legit traumatizing to me so yes, but I suppose I'd have to be in that situation (knock the fuck on wood) to truly know. What is the weirdest ailment a pet of yours/your family’s has sustained? Ummm. The weirdest... probably the intestine thing that killed Cato. I can't remember precisely, but I believe it was some type of infection that completely clogged him. Maybe even a disease. If you were far from home and needed to sleep for the night, would you choose to rent a crappy hotel room for $60 or sleep in your car for free? In the car. Is there a situation you caved into peer pressure and regretted it? Maybe? Have you ever been in a relationship that was going great, and then suddenly something weird happened and you just KNEW it was going to be over soon? That happened with Jason. I had this odd feeling something was off for a little while. He was quieter and seemed somewhat depressed, which was totally unlike him. I even asked him quite a bit if something was wrong, but he always reassured me he was fine. Which of the guys you’ve been interested in hurt you the most? lul we knooooow. Do you know anyone who is engaged? Yes. Do you know anybody who is pregnant? Yes. I'm going to one's baby shower next month! What is your relationship status on Facebook? Taken. Would you be able to name everyone you’ve kissed? Yeah. Last person you watched a movie with? Sara, her dad, and I think her mom and one brother was with us? Who has the power to break you? I honestly hope no one anymore, at least not entirely. But Sara comes the closest. Favorite “little kid” movie? TLK. What are you listening to? WoW's Grizzly Hills music. :') Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Sara. Or Mom. It depends on the subject. Do you find smoking unattractive? Very. I think it says something about how much you care for your health. Have you ever just laid down outside and stared at the stars? Yup. Has anyone ever asked you if you were bipolar? I don't believe so. What was the last thing you looked up on Google? Types of rat cancer for that pet ailment question. We don't know with certainty, but that's likely what killed Tezzeret, brain or eye cancer or something like that. Do you lose interest in someone quickly? If you do something stupid, ha, bye. I can lose interest very fast but also slowly. Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? Yes. Does your password have to do with a boy/girl? No. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? Yes. Think back to last year. Who did you like? Sara. How did you meet the last male you called? He's my dad so like- Ever been kissed on the leg? Maybe? What was the last thing you ate? Ham, cheese, and mustard on wheat bread. If you HAD to kiss someone right now, who would it be? Sara. Who was the last person you rode in the car with? Mom. Name some things you love about winter? NOT HOT AS FUCK, snow, frost, gingerbread, chocolate-covered peanuts, I can walk outside without worrying about ticks, my birthday, hot chocolate, looking at Christmas lights/decorations, nice tree designs, Christmas itself... I just love winter. Last person to hear you cry? Probably Mom. How do you feel about your relationship status? I love it. Only thing that could make me happier is if we weren't long-distance. Is it possible to be JUST friends with someone you wanna be with? I dunno. Have you ever been given roses? Yes. Would you ever sky dive? I don't think so. Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your own bed? Sara's bed. If you dated someone that someone else liked, would you rub it in their face? Uh no, I'm an adult. Have you received a text message that made you cry? Yes. What do you think of your country’s education system? If you could change it, what would you do? WOULD YOU LIKE AN ESSAY????????????? I'd change a fucking load of things. If you could move out of your home country permanently, would you? If so, where would you go? No. Is there a celebrity that everyone else seems to love, but you find totally overrated? Why is it that you don’t like them? I'm not in a place to really answer this; I'm not knowledgeable of almost any celebs' lives. Think back to the last time you got really angry. Do you think your anger was justified, or did you act in an over the top way? It was fucking justified. If you could volunteer for any charity, which one would you choose? Do you think it’s more important to help humans, or are animal and environmental charities equally important? Probably one for the environment as far as volunteer work. We're absolutely annihilating our one and only home, and if we don't collectively get our shit together as a species, we're gone. I think both are equally important. Do you have any allergies? If not, what do you think the worst thing to be allergic to would be? Pollen. I think the worst of the ones I know would be any deathly-allergic food, especially those that there are traces of in many foods. What do you think of the term plus-sized in modeling? It is it empowering or demeaning? It's demeaning in its name. Just use "modeling" as the term. "Plus size" just makes it sound as if you're not a "perfect" model. Do you prefer holidays where you relax, or actually do things? Mmm, depends on my mood, honestly. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? No. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? Totally. Do you sleep in a bra? I feel very sorry for anyone who does. Has your ex ever gone out with someone close to you? No. Can you suggest someone funny on YouTube? Personally find Game Grumps or Shane Dawson the funniest people on there. Sprite or Mtn. Dew? I hate Sprite, so. Has anyone close to you ever been suicidal? Yes. What is the 10th picture in your phone/camera of? A picture of Roman as a kitten. :') Are you friends with someone who’s autistic? My niece is, if she counts. Has anyone ever walked in on you having sex? No. Have you ever had a Bic Mac? No. I don't like lettuce on burgers. What’s your favorite part about the holidays? Seeing how excited my niece and nephew are. How old is your television? Idk exact years, but we had it before the divorce, so it's been a while. Would you ever dye your hair an unnatural color? BITCH I always want my hair an unnatural color. Have you ever been to the zoo before? Yes. If you’re reading a book, what page are you currently on? N/A How many online accounts do you have? Or have you lost count? I've definitely lost count. Have you ever been to a convention? (comic, YouTube, etc.) A reptile one. Have you ever done a first aid course? No. Has anyone ever compared you to someone you don’t like? No, I don't think so. Do elevators freak you out? Yes. How do you find new music to listen to when you want it? YouTube recommendations or Spotify. What is the biggest difference between you and your best friend? OUR FEELINGS TOWARDS MEDICATION. YOU NEED IT SOMETIMES BABE. What is something most people are turned on by but you’re not? Penises in general. I'm still bi, but seeing a dick is just. Ugh they're just hideous to me okay. Is there anything you wish you had done with a current/previous significant other? No. Well, I'm curious how actually deep sex would feel, so I guess I kinda wish Jason and I went that far, especially now that I'll probably never have actual intercourse again, but. Oh well. What are the top three qualities that draw you to a new person? Charismatic, caring, and respectful. What job would you be terrible at and what job would you be good at? Anything dealing with customers; exposing animals to healthy human contact. Do you think that forgiveness is mandatory to move on from something? I think so, to fully move on. Name three things you would buy if you had the money to buy them? A PS4, drawing tablet, totally new and better camera. If you could have a video of one event in your life, what would the video be? Sara's reaction to seeing me in her room on her birthday. Her face was the most priceless thing ever. What did you think was cool when you were younger? Light-up shoes lmao. Who do you wish you could back into contact with and why did you stop in the first place? Megan. She lied about just about everything in her life for pity. When I finally called her out, she was so upset with herself that she like, fell off the face of the earth. Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? No, but rather Dad trying to stab me. What’s the most bizarre Horror movie you’ve ever seen? Idk off the top of my head. Would you ever take a Lie Detector test for your significant other? No, but only because I find them as bullshit. Especially as someone with anxiety, I'd be so scared of something showing as a "lie" to remain calm. Plus, a question may just prompt a memory or thought in you that shows up on the test or whatever but isn't related to lying, stuff like that. Ever had a forbidden love or lover? No. Do you like canopy beds? YES. I WANT ONE. If you could summon any animal to come to your rescue, what animal would it be and why? Ummm maybe a bear? They're tanks and super dangerous with their claws, teeth, and muscles.

It was close to 5 in the morning right now, but it wasn’t like anyone could tell - Alaska was always dark as shit, doubly so when snowstorms blotted out the sky, and Skinny Dick’s eyes were so shot to hell that he had a tough time even when the sun was out. Which was why at Skinny Dick’s Inn, the lights always stayed on, 24/7; it was a beacon for any weary travelers going down the old highways leading up to Fairbanks, and it helped Dick not stumble into any of the stuffed animals when he wanted to go to the old outhouse to take a leak.

Now, as a bartender, he’d seen his fair share of folks who were down and out on their luck: mercs after a job gone bust, people with barely a cap to their name trying to stave off frostbite, that kind of thing. A lot of them came through Skinny Dick’s bar, and most of them got a room at the inn and went away by the next day, off to the next job - or the next bar, if they weren’t so lucky.

He’s been kind of wracking his brain with this latest one, though - a ghoul in a fancy brahmin-leather overcoat and gloves had come in, and she’d rented a room for a whole week. Usually, she’d go out, come back and buy a lot of the hard stuff, go to her room for the night, and return the bottles in the morning. After a few days, it looks like she opted to stay at the bar this time; in fact, she’d been at the bar all day, chatting up the other customers and even getting a bit friendly with a couple of them. Right now, as he was tidying up for the morning, she was sat at the far end of the bar nursing her sixth bottle of Skinny Dick’s Special Hooch, looking like she was gonna burn a hole in the cabin with nothing but her stare. He’d put a few plays on the jukebox, for his sake as much as hers - it was pretty hard to be sad to Let The Good Times Roll, after all.

Positioning himself behind the bar to take stock of whatever spirits he still had left, he figured that he might as well try to check up on the tenant. “Anything else I can get’cha?”

She shakes her head, and smirks. “Nah. You can take this one back,” she said, raising the now-empty bottle triumphantly.

A bottle of Special Hooch was enough to get a ghoul drunk, and six bottles were probably enough to give even a ghoul alcohol poisoning, but she’d gone through all of them like they were water and she didn’t seem any more wasted for it. Skinny Dick didn’t know whether to feel impressed, terrified, or just sad about that; he just nodded and took the bottle, then stashed it under the bar to take back to the still later.

Meanwhile, the tenant had taken out a small, colorful glass pipe and a lighter from her coat, and then lit the pipe. A smell that was something between rubbing alcohol and battery acid began to fill the air as she took a few puffs.

“What’s that, there?” he asked, mostly curious. No way in hell it could be tobacco, and if it was some kind of mutated strain of weed, it was really mutated.

The acid smoke formed a small cloud around her as she laughed. “Got the recipe from out west,” she says, “from a bunch of ghouls in… where was it?” She turns the pipe over, and smiles. “Mexico, I think. Yanks call it smooch.”

“Smells like an energy cell shit itself,” he chuckles. “Jesus, what’s in that?”

Her smile widens. “Hey, irradiated cave fungus and Abraxo can do wonders. You should try it for yourself,” she says, holding out the pipe.

Well, if Skinny Dick stands for anything, it’s that everything ought to be tried at least once. And if he drops dead, it’ll at least have been in the spirit of exploration - so he takes the pipe, takes a hit, and waits to become the first ghoul ever launched into space. It doesn’t happen, but he does feel a bit lighter, just like how he remembers how a reefer used to make him feel. Plenty impressive, he’ll give it that.

“Good, huh?” she says, looking the most at ease he’s ever seen her. “And there was only a drop of the stuff in that kindling. It’s plenty potent - so I wouldn’t recommend it for humans.” She takes the pipe back, and takes another puff. “Tends to turn ‘em into vegetables. Makes a killing in the ghoul market, though.”

He leans over the bar, the old wood creaking under his weight. “Say, you wouldn’t happen to know where anybody could get a dealer for that stuff, wouldja?” he whispers, though there’s no real need to. “A fella might be looking to buy some real soon.”

Her smile only grew bigger. “You lookin’ at ‘er.” She lets the pipe hang around her mouth as she extends a hand. “Chives Chen, independent trader, at your service.”

“Skinny Dick,” he says, taking her hand in his own, “owner and proprietor of Skinny Dick’s.”

“Committed to the brand.” Chives nods once. “I like that.” Pulling her hand away, she rests her elbows on the bar and cradles her head in her other hand. “Listen, Dick, can I talk to you on the level?”

He shrugs. “Shoot. We’re talkin’ now, right?”

“Right…” She sits up straight, and folds her hands like she’s playing poker, without the cards. “Listen, my company is interested in expanding our routes, see, and I heard from a little birdie that the Alaskan frontier might be in the market for some Brahma.”

“Y’ heard right. Always willing to trade for more meat around these parts.” He finds himself nodding along - so far, he likes the cut of her jib. “Not a lot of grazing ‘round here, see, and folks need all the grub they can get. Hard enough to keep everybody halfway fed in here, so I could use a steady line of beef.”

She raises her brows, then. “My good Dick,” she says, hint of a laugh tinting her voice, “I think you misunderstood me. I never said I was selling any meat.”

“What d’you got, then? Leather? Horns?” He pauses. “Glue...?”

“Keep going. Maybe you’ll even get it.”

“Don’t make me guess, ma’am,” he groans, throwing his hands up. “I feel like I’m on an episode of Red Tag, over here!” He can’t help but laugh at his own joke, even if there was no way in hell anyone would’ve cared about remembering old game shows.

She takes the pipe out of her mouth and takes a long drag - the smell of the weird smoke doesn’t really get any better with time, especially not when it was being blown in your face. “That was the one Johnny Collins hosted, right?”

“Right, right.” He takes out his own leather pouch of hand-rolled tobacco from his apron, and strikes a match. “Y’know, he’d say somethin’ like, ‘you’re it, America!’, and he’d ask people these fuckin’ impossible questions while they did these challenges…” He lights the cigarette, then takes a long, deep breath.

“Yeah, swimming through jello and trying to hit an apple on some guy’s head,” she adds, laughing. “You could win shit like, what, a voucher for one week’s worth of gas? A whole case of smokes?”

“If you were lucky, you could win a trip to Hawaii or something.” He takes an ashtray out from behind the bar, and taps some ash into it. “Say, you ever been there?”

Chives shakes her head. “Lots of places under the sun I ain’t been to yet, Dick, and that includes most of The Last Frontier.” She dumps out some acidic-smelling ash from her pipe onto the ashtray, and sighs. “I’ll cut right past the fat of it, man. I got a lot of people out in California who have a lot of jet to sell. You want in, or what?”

“...Oh,” he says, halfway into putting the cig near his lipless mouth, “oh, that was it.” He leans back, crossing his arms. “Yeah - nah. Not that I don’t like jet, but… look, you’re not gonna find much buyers for that ‘round here.” He takes a drag and adds, “Down south in Anchorage, though, I hear they eat jet for breakfast, so you might wanna take a look-see for your friends over there.” He taps his chin, then, as he struggles to remember something else. “Some other folks, too… damn, what was it called again? Psykerjet? Ah, I dunno exactly, but they like that shit.”

Chives doesn’t look disappointed by the news; in fact, there’s a new glint in her eye that would’ve been easy to miss, but he’s seen it before. “Alright. Thanks for the tip, Dick.” She puts her pipe back in her coat, pulls out a single cap, and she sets it on the bar as gently as can be. Then she gets up, and walks off in the direction of the rooms. “You’ve been a big help.”

“No prob,” he says, but she’s soon out of sight. He takes the time to inspect the cap she set down; an old, relatively unbent Sunset Sarsaparilla bottle-cap. He thought there was nothing special about it besides the fact that Sunset caps were pretty rare around these parts, until he turned it around - there, someone had painted a shiny, blue star in the middle.

When he came back from the outhouse to do his usual morning rounds at the rooms, he saw that the room Chives had rented was pretty tidy already. He takes a final look around - she hadn’t moved much stuff around or hid anything in the floorboards, which was fine and dandy with him. Skinny Dick supposed that she’d packed her bags and moved on to the next job - or the next bar, if it came down to that - but he found himself rooting for her all the same.