#and just. WHAT has my mother done to deserve this. she's a people pleaser this is going to KILL her and i hate that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thesmokingguns · 2 years

Text

Married at First Sight Chapter One

Taglist: @ayablackwood @rocknrollsoul76 @greeneyezblackheart @lady-jane3 @rocketgrrrl27 @slutforstradlin @theoutsiders25 @fispapercrafter @bbyamberx @brezeblog @samanthasgone @aggressive-slytherin @clover270 @grayxiu @another-obsessed-with-duff @badfvith @bia003 @queenbae18 @axl-roses-rose @d-ahliaa @beebemarie @guns-n-roses-gal @themoonbelongstome @pinksweetgirl18 @cemmia @bieberhoodforever It’s all or nothing

This season on Married at First Sight we’re just in Hollywood California, our singles are a bit different from prior years. Though they are still looking for love and their forever partners, this year our grooms are a little more well known from prior years. Our brides will be marrying some of the biggest names on the Sunset Strip but though they may know the men in name they will still be marrying a stranger.

Tommy is sitting in front of a camera, he’s biting his nails because he’s uncomfortable with this whole thing and vaguely wondering why he agreed to this concept of marrying someone who he didn’t know. When the band was first approached with this Mick had tried to tell them all this was a bad idea and not not do this but Vince was asking about TV time and Nikki was asking about the way they were matched he was persuaded to join. WIth most of the band seeming okay with it Tommy had joined in, ready to start his journey.

“Hey, I’m Tommy Lee, drummer for Motley Crue.” He flashed his smile, “I’m 27 years old and I’m looking to get an old lady to settle down with. I’ve been touring with the band and having all these once in a lifetime experiences but have been missing that once in a lifetime love.” The producer asked him a question off camera that would be cut out and he laughed, “I’m actually a pretty normal guy. I think what I look forward to most in a marriage is having someone to cook with. I’ve cooked like twice in my kitchen and it would be really cool to have someone to do that with. I’m a decent cook and I’d love to marry someone who has a passion for cooking too.”

Tommy was done with the interview, his stomach knotting as he thought about how he was going to have to break the news to his parents about this marriage. They hadn't really recovered from his divorce yet and his mother still gave him looks as if she was reminding him marriage was forever. He did feel better knowing Nikki and Vince were doing this with him. At least he’d have some support in all this chaos.

Nikki slid into the seat, making small talk and sending smiles to the crew around him. He was forever a people pleaser and easy to make friends with everyone around him. He was excited about this opportunity of marrying a stranger. His birthday was in a couple months and he was going to be 31. He expected at that age to be a dad with a home and a wife who he loved and who loved him. He had just gotten sober the past year. Going to clinics and working in treatment. He had become his best self and was afraid if he had to keep living a life where he had failed before he would slide back again.

“I’m Nikki Sixx. I'm 31 and the bassist for a Motley Crue.” He was flirting with the camera, feeling suddenly self conscious of himself but wanting to try to make some sort of good impression, “I want to be married at first sight because I love traveling and it would be so fun to have someone to share that with. Make memories with the love of my life and have a photo album to look back on when we’re old with all of our adventures. I’ve worked a lot on myself the last year so that I can be the husband someone deserves. In a marriage I want to be the best possible person. I think getting married is a once in a lifetime event and I want that once in a lifetime girl.” He felt like he was being too honest and open but he did feel like that.

He was thinking about how many girls he had slept with. How many pretty stranger’s had he had in bed with him? What was the chance that the stranger he was going to marry could be one of the girls that he never called back? His heart thundered and he gulped water down. Wondering why he gave such a shit to so many women and knowing he wouldn’t make that mistake with his wife. He wanted a love story like his grandparents, a legacy of love. That was what he wanted more than anything in his life.

He would work for his marriage, no matter what.

Vince wanted to be married at first sight because he loved love. And he thought he had the face that deserved to be on TV broadcasted all over for people to see him. Tommy and Nikki were the more loved guys and they saw him as using this as a chance for free press but Vince also wanted to meet his Cinderella and give her a fairytale.

“I’m the Vince Neil. Lead singer and the good looks of Motley Crue.” He flashed his megawatt smile, his tan skin looking as good as he felt. “As a hopeless romantic I think that getting married at first sight is right for me. The idea of the experts picking the perfect partner just-“ he blew out like his head was going to explode, “I don’t always make the best decision when it comes to love. I don’t always think with my right head. I just see someone and get crazy for them. I believe in soulmates and forever and that’s a big deal for me. Marriage is…a lot. I’ve made mistakes when I was younger but I’m 28 and I know now how to work though that. I’m ready for my forever.”

As he spoke forever his palms got sweaty and he rubbed them on his ripped denim, heart thundering as he suddenly realized just how serious marriage was. He was thinking past just the superficial worry of what if he wasn’t attracted to his wife and moving into the real territory of fear of what if he didn’t get along with her. Vince didn’t like think the sinking feeling in his gut as he thought about what could go wrong.

This was probably one of the dumbest ideas Izzy had ever been talked into. When the band had all been invited to the audition Axl had wanted to be in it so badly. When he and Steven hadn’t been found matched Izzy, Duff, and Slash were all matched. This led to some brutal tantrums from the lead singer and the more frustrated he got the more commuter to the idea Izzy was. Plus, he liked the experts and found the questions in the interview process beyond superficial. He didn’t love it when they checked out his home and he felt judged by the raised eyebrows over overflowing ashtrays or the clothes he needed to bring to the laundromat but didn’t have time.

“My name is Izzy Stradlin. I play guitar in Guns N Roses.” He didn’t want to be on camera. That was the biggest downfall of this entire mess. A relationship was hard enough without strangers poking into it and filming it. The cameras would be the worst part and he was well aware of how much he was going to struggle with not having privacy in something he found to be a very private matter, “I want to get married at first sight because I am finally at a point in my life where I’ve accomplished my dreams and I’d love to be able to share good news with someone who isn’t my mother.” he took a drag of his cigarette, walking away from the camera before they told him he was done.

Izzy was worried the person he was going to be married to would be a fan of the attention. It made him sick to his stomach to think that someone might be doing this for the wrong reasons and marrying for TV time and not love. Izzy was better in a caring relationship, he knew that was stupid but it was also true. He thought better, wrote more, and was overall a more well rounded person when he had a partner at his side. He didn’t have the highest hopes for all of this but he would take his marriage seriously. This stranger was going to be his wife. His responsibility. And he felt a lot of pressure to make it work with her.

Duff was breathing in through his nose, out through his mouth to stop the anxiety attack that was making his chest tight with nerves. He was going to pass out. When he was told they had found him a match he had laughed and hugged the professionals; he was on camera. But as soon as they told him they needed to get a short clip of him introducing himself and explaining why he was doing Married at First SIght he said he just needed to go to the bathroom and he’d be right out for it. But now he was on the floor of the bathroom, trying to pretend like he wasn’t crying. This was a big deal. This was his perfect partner, the person he was going to spend his life with. He had one failed marriage under his belt and he didn’t want to add another. He wanted to give whoever this stranger was his best self but he wasn’t sure that he could really do that and it scared the hell out of him.

What if he wasn’t good enough? What if music was the only love that he had time for in his life? That was something that was a real possibility and Duff was so horrified by that idea. What if she wanted kids? Could he be a dad, a good dad and not just some sperm donor who had kids he saw one weekend every month? He felt light headed and like he was going to puke as he over thought all of this. He hadn’t expected to be matched. He was sure Steven and Axl would be but not him. Now he had to go through with this feeling like he wasn’t good enough the whole time.

“I’m Duff McKagan and I play bass for Guns N Roses.” Duff lit a cigarette and tried to calm down enough to get through this interview. He needed to keep his shit together for a few minutes so that he didn’t ruin this. “I want to find the love of my life just to do ordinary things with. It’s so hard coming home and there being no one there with me. Having someone to tell about my day, to call when I’m on the road and just hear their voice and feel like I’m home even when I’m not. To have a partner where we can support and push each other to be better people. That is what I want. Love is a big word and it gets used so easily but I want to find that forever love with my person. And I think marrying a stranger is the best chance I have of finding that magic four letter word.” Duff let his heart speak, even as it beat 1000 beats an hour, at least he knew that he was speaking his truth about everything.

Slash ran his fingers through his hair, wondering when the last time he conditioned it was and trying to remember if he had conditioner at home. When he had a wife she would always make sure there was some conditioner at home. She would sit behind him in the tub and wash his hair to make sure he didn’t leave the house looking like a scuzzball. He would have a wife who took care of him and supported his dreams, who would love him and he would love her. He needed a wife who was patient and kind to balance out his mood swings and inability to remember things. But he would bring a lot to the partnership, he was caring and great at learning a love language. He believed in physical touch healing and even though he was in a band he was a secret homebody so he would make time for his partner.

“I’m the guitarist from Guns N Roses. Everyone calls me Slash.” He had his tophat on because that was his signature look and the producers insisted it would look good on camera. He also kept sunglasses pushed over his eyes so no one could see how freaked out he was about everything. He wanted to look back on this as a success and the first step of that was to not embarrass his future wife, “I love movie nights in bed and look forward to showing my future wife my VHS collection, hopefully adding some of her favorites in there as well. I want to marry a stranger because I am terrible at picking the person for me and I think this is the only shot I have of not f-” the interview was cut as he went to swear, “I think this is the only shot I have of a real marriage that can span a lifetime.” he was saying.

But as Slash walked outside, ready to head home and tell his friends and family he was about to get married he was worried what they would think. Would they all think that he wasn’t ready for such a big commitment? He was a screw up for so long and now he was going to have this epic adventure of love with someone. He hoped it would be a good epic and not an epic fail.

Next time on Married at First sight, we meet the brides and get to hear how some of the friends and families reacted to the news that our singles are soon to be Newlyweds.

#MAFS #tommy lee fan fiction #Tommy Lee Fan fic #nikki sixx #nikki sixx fan fic #Nikki Sixx fan fiction #slash imagine #slash fanfic #duff mckagan x you #duff mckagan fanfic #duff mckagan #izzy stradlin fan fic #izzy stradlin imagine #izzy stradlin fanfic #vince neil fanfic

93 notes · View notes

georgiasfm · 3 years

Text

╰ ･ﾟ. * 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐆𝐄𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐈𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐘 ;

[ scarlett leithold, cis female, she/her ] have you seen GEORGIA CALLOWAY lately ? yeah, i heard they're TWENTY TWO years old and a REALITY TV STAR/PODCAST HOST now in charleston city. i mean, i don’t know if it’s their LEO vibes or that they’re -OBSTINATE and -CAPRICIOUS but also +GREGARIOUS and +EMPYREAN but they remind me of MIND GAMES by BANKS. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble around here.

hey besties ! i’m ley , i’m 20 ( well .... i will be at midnight ) , i go by she / her pronouns , and i’m livin’ in the est timezone ! i unfortunately have a super busy weekend bc it’s my birthday , so i won’t be able to be around as much as i want to be. but i’m gonna do my best to as active as possible ! thankfully i wrote this intro ahead of time so for once it isn’t a complete disaster ( it’s still not good tho so don’t have high expectations ) anyways , here’s miss georgia calloway !!

𝐈 . 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 :

FULL NAME : georgia belle calloway . AGE : twenty - two . DATE OF BIRTH : july 23rd . ASTROLOGY SIGNS : leo sun , aquarius moon , pisces ascendant . GENDER : cis woman . PRONOUNS : she / her / hers . SEXUALITY : bisexual . MOTHER : diane calloway : former pageant & debutante queen turned stay at home mom / trophy wife . FATHER : jack calloway : career politician & mayor of charleston . SIBLINGS : georgia is the middle child of five kids . two older brothers , two younger sisters . POSITIVE TRAITS : gregarious , vehement , alluring , venturesome , empyrean , altruistic . NEGATIVE TRAITS : obstinate , reticent , flighty , temerarious , capricious . AESTHETICS : the patter of raindrops against glass windows , the lingering scent cigarettes mixed with sweet perfume , drinking honey whiskey out of red solo cups , watching constellations with exhausted eyes , sneaking out by means of the vine trellis , leaving texts unanswered for days , a box of pageant awards hidden away in the closet , secrets that weigh more than gold on cherry stained lips , bending every rule just enough to get away with it , wrinkled white satin dresses and knee high ruffled socks , one too many bottomless mimosas at brunch , hearts drawn on fogged glass mirrors , lollipop stained lips . CHARACTER INSPO : brooke davis ( one tree hill ) , sarah cameron ( obx ) , lux lisbon ( the virgin suicides ) , jackie burkhart ( that 70s show ) .

click here for a quick trip to her pinterest bc it describes her better than i ever could !!

( tw ; infidelity , death , drunk driving )

𝐈𝐈 . 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 :

from the second she was born , georgia was treated as her mother’s little doll. diane had been ecstatic the day she found out she was with child for the second time , and even more ecstatic to find out she would be having their first little girl. she was dressed up in pink dresses and frilly socks , shown off to all of the women country or her mother’s weekly book club nights. she was the apple of her parent’s eyes , until she wasn’t. with brunette tresses & honey brown eyes , georgia was adored by everyone .... her beauty noted with claims that she would grow up to be a heartbreaker. her mother thrived on the compliments ; the subtle reminders to what her own childhood had been like. she had always planned on having a little girl that she could do pageants with just like she had with her own mother , and darling little georgia was perfect for that. at such a young age , georgia fell in love with the pageants. she thrived in the spotlight , with all eyes on her. and just like her mother , she won every competion she was entered in , until she didn’t. by the age of nine , georgia was starting to grow bored of the constant pageants and recitals , wanting to explore other interests. by that point , diane’s interest in her had worn off and moved onto the next child , a five year old with beautiful blonde curls and dimpled cheeks. georgia grew to know the subtle ache of rejection , and from that day forward , did everything she could to win back her mother’s affection.

from the outside , the calloway’s came off as the picture perfect family. but from the inside ? things were quite the opposite. georgia’s parents had unmeetable expectations for their children. get perfect grades , nothing below a b acceptable. sit down , look pretty , and shut up. don’t cause a scandal. their love was entirely conditional , only being shown when their was something they believed deserved rewarding. if you were to ask georgia , she wouldn’t be able to tell you the last time her mother actually hugged her for genuine reasons , and not to manipulate her into doing what she wanted. their father was rarely home , always away working or traveling for work. it became obvious that he was having an affair –– multiple affairs , but diane just looked the other way. the calloway family was very prominent in charleston , especially with her father being elected mayor , and their was nothing that diane would allow to ruin their image. even if it cost her own happiness.

things got considerably more difficult around the calloway home when georgia was sixteen. her eldest brother had gone out for a night of fun with a group of friends , and made the fatal mistake of getting into a car with someone who was far too drunk to drive. georgia will never forget the conversation she overheard from the living room that night ; “ they were drunk. lost control of the vehicle. died on impact. ” it tore the family apart , dividing them even more than they already were. georgia couldn’t stand the silence of her home after her brother’s death. so she started partying constantly , going on 48 hour benders and staying out long past her curfew. she couldn’t even recognize herself in the mirror. gone was their innocent little girl , the apple of their eyes. even this couldn’t get the attention of her parents , they barely even noticed she was gone most of the time ; all they did was yell at her to not make them look like fools.

for her whole life , georgia followed her parent’s rules. after graduating high school , she was expected required to go college and get a degree , but georgia just couldn’t be bothered. this is the one time she went against her parent’s wishes. her fear of being stuck here forever , with the same life as her parents ; a husband that doesn’t love her and miserable children , won out over the need for approval from her parents. so she ran off to la , and landed herself on love island usa after being approached by a producer. georgia is reality tv gold , and quickly became a fan favorite. her most memorable moment being after she got her heart broken on live tv , when she purposely held up a lighter to set off fire alarms ; and then laid on the ground getting drenched by the sprinklers. so now she’s single again after being made a fool of in front of the world , back home with parents that hate her for bringing them unwanted attention , and stuck in the city she tried to get away from. but , she’s got a podcast. it’s called the bimbo summit and it’s pretty much the only thing bringing her joy right now. it started as a way for her to expose some behind the scenes shit from love island , but now it’s just for fun.

𝐈𝐈𝐈 . 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 :

georgia is the girl that’s not easy to forget. she’s outgoing and amiable , but stubborn and not easy to push over. she was the one that moms would warn their kids to stay away from in high school ; she leaves a trail of destruction wherever she goes , no matter how hard she tries not to. she has the purest of intentions , genuinely just wanting love & happiness for herself and everyone around her , but it seems like the universe has different plans.

she almost has this air of melancholy surrounding her ? like even when she’s happy and smiling , you can still sense it or see in her eyes that she’s not truly happy

very charismatic , she’s a major people pleaser so she’ll put everyone else’s feelings before her own . she just wants everyone to be happy even if it means she ends up being miserable .

georgia’s a selective oversharer . she’ll tell you all these useless little facts so you think she’s opening up when in reality you don’t truly know her because she refuses to talk about the things that matter .

she’s trusting once she gets to know someone , but if you break that trust even once she’s not very quick to forgive. she’ll hear you out , but it’s unlikely that she’ll ever let you back in.

she is completely unhinged. somehow picks the worst possible decision every time a problem arises. she’s not much of a logical thinker , and tends to let her heart make decisions for her. it’s gotten her into a world of trouble one too many times , and yet she’s never learnt her lesson.

she’s also a serial dater. in her pea brain attention = love so she’ll flock to wherever she gets that. she likes the validation of relationships but hates the commitment , so pretty much all of her relationships end before they ever really start.

don’t ever tell georgia she can’t do something. she’s a stubborn bitch and she’ll either do it immediately just to spite you or dedicate her entire life to proving you wrong and that’s not something anyone needs to deal with.

very opinionated and not afraid to make sure you know !! she will stand up for what she’s believes in without even a second of hesitation.

she would not be caught dead looking unpresentable .... she’ll do her hair and a full face of make up even if she’s waking up at 4am. and don’t even bother to ask her to go out after she’s done her skin care routine .... there’s no chance

doesn’t really know how to handle her emotions ? so when she’s hurt she tends to just .... shut down & push everyone away

she is a hardcore adrenaline junkie , she does so much stupid shit just for the thrill. making spontaneous and impulsive decisions is her favorite pass time. she just holds a lot of emotion in , so anything that will release all of that or make her feel anything other than the things she’s avoiding are very much welcomed.

#charleston:intro

18 notes · View notes

musicfeedsmysoul12 · 4 years

Text

Princess of Atlantis

Marinette has always been fully aware her father wasn’t fully human- or Tom. Her mom had met Arthur- her bio dad- on a trip to Hawaii. They’d had a whirlwind summer fling that ended with Sabine going back to China for her move to France unaware she was pregnant.

When she discovered she was pregnant she’d contacted Arthur who had gone right to France to explain some things. Learning about the fact there was an entire world underwater? Was… interesting. Learning her daughter may be in danger because of her heritage?

She was not happy.

Marinette was five when her uncle Orm attacked the surface and her father became King of Atlantis. When they’d learned he had a daughter on land they had all decided that she could not be heir given her only Atlantean abilities were breathing underwater.

Marinette, even at age five, had no issue with that. She did not want to rule Atlantis. She wanted to be a fashion designer. She said that to her dad when he’d broken the news.

“I’m going to also redesign your suit.”

“It’s not-“

“It’s ugly daddy.”

She still was a princess though and had to sit in on lessons given to her by Mera, her father’s betrothed/girlfriend. Mera at least was fun.

She learned Atlantean design and etiquette. It was fun and enjoyable and she got to design her new step-mother’s wedding dress and her daddy’s suit for their wedding at age ten which she was thrilled about.

Marinette grew up learning about her heritage from all sides of her family, her dad fIrm on the idea. She spent time in Hawaii with her grandfather, and later her grandmother, and time in Atlantis. She learned her Hawaiian heritage, her Chinese heritage and her Atlantean heritage from a young age.

Children though can be cruel. Especially when afraid. A little girl with crazy wavy hair and the ability to swap between multiple languages is fun, but when a girl whose daddy has power and has taught her she can do no wrong decides she doesn’t like you… no one does.

Marinette grew up being taunted for her differences. She saw how some people side-eyed her and her mother while walking around, how some Atlanteans sneered at her for her mostly human heritage, saw how some of the people on the islands seemed to hesitate around her. She tried to smile through it but…

Well, in the end, it was easier to pretend. She was white-passing enough that all she needed to do was straighten her hair and stop speaking other languages.

Her mother hated it. Her papa- Tom- did too. Her daddy did, her step-momma did. Her grandfather and grandmothers did. Kaldur, the boy who became her daddy’s apprentice and a big brother figure to her, hated it too.

But she couldn’t keep going, couldn’t keep being taunted. So she plastered a smile on her face and pretended. And it worked- Chloe, the bully, backed off and she made some sort of friends. She even became a hero like her daddy and slowly gained actual friends. She got to make her own team like Kaldur, she got a partner she could count on, a mentor to help her out. She was happy.

Or so she thought.

A liar came to school and things went all to hell. She lost everything. Her friends, her comfort she felt in her hero partner being there to help. Her team, her mentor…

She was left holding a box full of power, tears in her eyes and a scream in her throat. She took off to Atlantis where she collapsed and sobbed into her step-momma’s dress and her daddy raged.

It was Kaldur who helped her.

“Fuck them,” Kaldur told her. “They don’t deserve your tears.” He sat with her and wrapped his arms around her. “They weren’t friends. Friends don’t betray you like this. Friends stick with you even when things go to hell.” He kissed her forehead and promised to be there.

And he was. He was there when she herself decided fuck it when she stopped straightening her hair and cut it into an undercut with one side framing her face. When she started wearing eyeliner- he even went and got some help from Nightwing for learning some dramatic ways to make her eyes pop.

Kaldur helped her figure out how to find good people to fight with. Kagami, Luka- they were good fighters, good friends. They had her back. Luka got into fights with his sister about her and never back down. Kagami punched Adrien and told him how little she cared for him seeing how he never backed up his friend.

Marinette started smiling again soon enough.

-0-

“I hope Marinette doesn’t make this difficult,” Lila told Alya, pouting. “I know she has Italian heritage too but I’m fully Italian…”

“Don’t worry girl, we’ll make sure Marinette doesn’t start anything,” Alya promised as they all sat in the classroom about to give their reports on their cultural heritage. The others nodded and all turned to the front just as Marinette walked in. She’d changed- everyone knew it. Gone was the kind girl… sort of. She was still kind, but she stopped looking like she used to her. Her hair was short, she wore dark make-up, and she dressed in loose and comfortable clothing that made her look badass honestly. She also apparently had tattoos but no one had believed it- until today when she came in with no sleeves and showing off her tattoos on her arms.

“Oh god, where did she get those?” asked Juleka in shock. “They’re badass.”

“Maybe they’re gang signs,” Lila said slyly, smirking as everyone began whispering about this new rumour.

“Class,” Ms. Bustier- the woman had moved with them to lycee because Chloe had demanded her favourite teacher be moved with her- began. “Marinette will be going first on her report as she needs to leave for a family thing.”

“What?” Alya asked. “But Lila’s the full Italian! Shouldn’t we learn about the culture from her?” everyone nodded. Marinette stared at them, face blank.

“...Nino, you’ve known me since we were kids. You know Tom’s not my bio dad.” Marinette said and the class froze.

“... Shit, I forgot.” Nino admitted while Marinette rolled her eyes hard.

“I figured. So no, I’m not doing Italian anyway.” She turned and began setting up her powerpoint, ignoring the class. Lila was angry. She had hoped to whine and cry that Marinette had stolen some of her points about her heritage or make some comment about Marinette obviously having stolen her report. Now she had to actually do it. “As everyone knows- and I did do a previous report on it- my mother is Chinese. What few others know is that my bio father is kānaka ʻōiwi, or Native Hawaiian as some know them as.” Marinette continued her report, showing off interesting legends about her father’s people and even speaking of her tattoos. “They were done in the traditional way and it really hurt but I think they’re pretty amazing. I don’t have much- just a few that my dad thought fit me.” Marinette grinned and everyone looked at each other feeling uncomfortable. When her report was done she left with a wave and a very awkward class.

Not that she cared, she was busy focusing on the fact uncle fucking Orm wanted to see her. Orm- as in her weedy uncle who still hated all land walkers. And who looked like a dork and still wouldn’t take her advice about his hair.

Walking up to the living room, she wanted to whine upon seeing him. He was looking annoyed while sitting on the couch.

“What’s going on that I needed to ditch school?” she asked, feeling annoyed at seeing him. She had stopped wanting to do everything for everyone. She’d stopped trying to be a people pleaser. It was annoying and frustrating. Kaldur had taken her to meet Red Robin who was similar to her in that way and they’d both had a nice long bitch out about everything before they’d both decided to stop it. Stop trying to help people who never said thanks, stop trying to please everyone.

She enjoyed the chaos the class had become and loved hearing about how much of a shit show Gotham’s Batfam had become themselves before they actually started trying again.

“We need someone to run Atlantis,” Orm said darkly. She stared at him.

“Oh fuck no. No- nope. Nuh-uh. Aʻole, Méiyǒu. NO.” She shook her head, holding her hands up. “I am literally as far from the throne as I can be given I’m the King’s only kid so far? I mean Kaldur doesn’t count.”

“This is true but your father is needed in space while Mera is still on bedrest as her pregnancy is most difficult currently and Kaldur has no actual relation to the throne.”

“And you can’t rule because technically you were dishonoured,” Marinette added in, gaining a dirty look from her uncle. “Damn… I’m just the face of this, right? Step-momma is still the one giving orders?”

“Of course. Though there is a ball with land walkers you need to attend.” Marinette stopped.

“...Everyone will know who I am then.” Orm shrugged, uncaring.

“Weren’t you planning on revealing yourself anyway?” Marinette frowned but sighed, her shoulders slumping.

“...At least I have a dress already designed and half made for this.”

-0-

Telling Bustier she wouldn’t be in for two weeks was simple enough. Ruling Atlantis- or really acting as a mouthpiece for her step-mother? Simple to. Jumping back to Paris when an Akuma happened? Easy. All of Atlantis knew she was Ladybug- they felt the magic. They knew she was the Guardian as well and mostly ignored that as long as Plagg never came near them. Given she was still hesitating on claiming the ring she was okay.

She didn’t want to take his ring, she wanted her partner back, her best friend. She wanted him to stop flirting and stop not taking things seriously.

“It’s annoying,” she told Kaldur while signing some papers. She and Kaldur were in the room Mera was in, the woman annoyed at the bed rest condition she’d been given for her pregnancy and demanding Marinette sign the papers in her room at least. “I mean- it’s wrong and gross and I should take it back but it feels… wrong. Gross to consider it, you know?”

“That’s the bond of a Ladybug and Chat Noir I believe according to our records,” Mera told her step-daughter.

“Yeah- magic makes things tricky. But he’s really pushing the boundaries.” Kaldur told Marinette who sighed.

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Tell him you’re dating someone,” Mera said. “If he’s a dick still then take the ring.”

Maybe she would. Maybe.

But first, she had the damn ball to deal with.

-0-

“I look terrible in gold Uncle Orm.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Uncle.” Orm glared at his niece as she glared at the gold fabric he’d thrust into her arms to add to her dress. It needed an extra layer, and gold was one of the colours of Atlantis. “I look better in silver.”

“I don’t care. You need to have the colours of Atlantis on you.” Orm told her. She glared at him and then at the fabric.

“At least you got the sheer stuff. It’ll look nice over it hopefully.” She added the cloth and did admit it looked nice.

She still hated gold cloth.

But it went with her tiara as she waited for the announcer to call her, a hand on Kaldur’s arm.

“Relax Marinette- everything is okay,” he told her softly.

“I’m about to reveal to the whole world I’m the Princess of Atlantis.”

“Imagine the looks on your classmates’ faces?”

“...Okay yeah, I feel better now.” Marinette flashed a smile and waited.

“Her Royal Highness, Princess Marinette Curry-Dupain-Cheng of Atlantis, current regent while her father is in space and Lord Kaldur of Atlantis.” the Announcer read out loud. Marinette and Kaldur walked into the room with their heads high.

Cameras flashed and Marinette kept her eyes focused. Her dress showed off her tattoos and muscular arms, the entire thing designed to be able to fight in if needed. She was every inch the warrior princess that Atlantis could boast of.

“Princess!” a man shouted. “Who designed your dress.”

“I did myself,” she told him. “I enjoy fashion design and sewing.”

“Are you the heir?”

“No,” she told that reporter. “Due to the fact I only have a quarter of Atlantean blood I am not the heir but as said I stepped in as regent while my father fights for our galaxy,”

“Are you and Kaldur dating?”

“Definitely not- he’s my elder brother in everything but blood and legality.” She told that one before she was led away by Kaldur and had to play nice for a few hours with politicians.

There was one face she recognized.

“Prince Ali,” she said, curtseying like she’d been taught by Mera.

“Princess Marinette,” the Prince of Achu said, bowing. He looked a bit sad. “I see you aren’t in rehab like Rose is saying Lila is claiming.” Marinette stopped as did Kaldur.

“...What?”

“Apparently that’s the new rumour that Lila Rossi is spreading.”

“...I believe I need to make some calls to various lawyers we have on land,” Kaldur said darkly and strode off to do so. Marinette had her eyes closed and took a deep breath.

“I hate that girl will all my soul,” she finally said after a moment.

“I do as well,” Ali admitted. Marinette looked at him in surprise. “I meet many people, your highness. Sometimes- unless they had made an impression- I forget them. When Rose asked if I knew Lila, I said possibly I’d met her. I did not know the extent of her lies until Rose referenced them and then… it was to late.”

“Not really your highness, you could have said something.” Ali winced.

“I have few friends, Princess Marinette, Rose is one of the few. And like others she expects me to be a perfect Prince which means not… rocking the boat so to speak.” He looked pained saying so, and Marinette frowned.

“Then she’d not a friend Prince Ali. Real friends wouldn’t hold you to expectations and ideals. That’s why I stopped being friends with a fair amount of my class. I think only Juleka and I could be called friendly- and that’s because her brother is one of my best friends.” Ali frowned but looked thoughtful.

After the ball, Marinette went back to Atlantis with a satisfied smile. She had a nice time, and she even swapped numbers with Ali.

Maybe she had a new friend.

-0-

The rest of the time spent in Atlantis was spent texting Ali when bored and ignoring the emails from her classmates who’d realized she’d changed her number. Most were basically begs for her to talk to them, a few saying they were sorry, or asking for an interview. Some accused her of lying or brainwashing Ali (Alya there) while Rose sent a sorry email. Apparently, she’d taken Ali’s message to heart and even Juleka felt bad.

Marinette didn’t give a damn.

When her dad came back and she got to hug him and hit him for leaving the planet- idiot- he had a laugh over the emails.

“Your classmates are ridiculous,” he told her. “What, do they think you’ll dramatically run back to each other, arms wide open?”

“Probably,” she told him. “I just don’t give a damn.”

“Nice.” he ruffled her hair and they chatted about seeing grandma and grandpa in Hawaii over the summer again before Marinette headed back to Paris where some of the Atlanteans who could walk on land were guarding the bakery. And where a lawyer was waiting, plus a personal assistant.

“No,” Marinette whined as her father patted her shoulder. He’d gone with her to explain some things.

“Sorry kid. You’re in the spotlight now- and that means you do need to go to a few galas and balls.” Marinette playfully gagged. Arthur laughed at his daughter again. He was happy she was doing better, that things were okay for her again. He’d worried when she was a shell of herself. Worried when she became Ladybug and worried when that Rossi girl came to the class.

He was happy she was okay.

-0-

Marinette’s new personal assistant was named Stephanie Brown and she was, in fact, Spoiler from Gotham who had agreed to move to Paris to help Marinette out and to be part of her new team of heroes she was putting together. Stephanie was still in school but she was killing it already as a personal assistant.

“Alright, so school, homework, design time then patrol. Maybe steal the ring today?” Stephanie asked as she checked the tablet.

“Maybe. I want to give him one more chance…” Marinette sighed. “But that could be the bond…”

“Hey, up to you but I will follow as the lovely Buzzer to keep an eye on things.” Stephanie grinned as Pollen giggled from the depths of her hair. Marinette nodded as they continued their walk to school, the lawyer following.

Marinette ignored the majority of the students staring at her as she walked to class, only saying hi to Kagami who waved her down to playfully scold her for not telling.

When she got to class, Stephanie broke off and the lawyer was the only one with her as they entered the room.

“GIRL!” Alya stood up. “Why the hell didn’t you ever tell me?” she was insulted her friend had never said anything to Alya.

“Because we’re not friends anymore and I wasn’t sure if I could trust you when we first met. Guess I was right.” she shrugged at Alya who flushed red at that. Lila was staring at Marinette with wide eyes as the girl turned to her. “I heard someone was claiming I was in rehab these past two weeks, plus that my tattoos were gang signs and oh so much more.” The lawyer stepped forward then.

“You’ve been served,” she told Lila who stared at the lawsuit in horror. Marinette ignored the class’s exclamations and demands she not go through with it, instead going to sit at the back again, uncaring of their words.

Adrien was giving her a look but she ignored it, pulling her phone out to text Ali, who’d texted her asking if she wanted to go for lunch. Checking with Stephanie, she agreed.

Still ignoring the class- now with Bustier giving her disappointed looks- she rushed out of the school to where Ali was waiting at lunch. The class followed and stopped, seeing who she was with.

“Ah, Princess Marinette.” Ali bowed and Marinette bowed as well, given she was wearing jeans and not a skirt.

“Prince Ali, it is a pleasure to see you again.” They smiled at each other before both blushed, feeling awkward when they realized they’d been staring.

“You look like a queen,” Ali remarked before his face went even redder and Marinette’s cheeks flamed before she grinned.

“Well I am a princess…” Ali stuttered but then laughed, offering his arm and opening the door to all of the possibilities of the two, while the class watched.

No one really realized the fall out that would occur, with Lila’s mother fired, her lies exposed and her dealings with Hawkmoth revealed. No one knew that a new cat would stalk the night one day, calling himself Prince Noir. No one knew how their lives would change.

Especially not Marinette or Ali.

tagged:

@vixen-uchiha @persephonebutkore @magicalfirebird @starwindmaden @liawinchester67 @doriebell @animegirlweeb @unmaskedagain

#miraculous ladybug #ml au #miraculous ladby x dc #aquaman #prince ali/marinette #salt

2K notes · View notes

blackfemmecharacterdependency · 4 years

Text

10. Simon’s Deal

3878 Words. Trigger Warnings for self harm and inappropriate sexual joke content. I think that’s all in this one, actually.

I feel like I need to clarify something - I am continuing this story until I finish it. But, the chapters will no longer be standalone pieces. The rest of it will be directly a sequential story that would need the previous chapters in order to make the story coherent. Thanks for understanding. Happy reading, and please, if you like what you read, let me know. If you don’t, keep it moving, Shawty. Because, I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my shit.

Simon got up fairly early every day. He fed Samantha and let her out. She came and went as she pleased, and in the times that she returned, she would come to his window and yell. He… was probably going to have to bring her with him when he left home for good. He hated to do it. He never wanted a cat, but they had bonded over having the worst mom in common and it wasn’t her fault that the person who purchased her did so on a whim.

He had a very strict exercise regimen, breakfast schedule, and things that he did every morning before starting on his day. Whenever he left home, he usually packed what he needed, and tended to use his mother’s old car. Was he legally supposed to be driving? No. Was he teaching himself how to anyway, because he knew he would need that skill and nobody else was gonna teach him? Absolutely.

His summer had a lot of things packed into it, but he had everything plotted out in such a way that if he followed his schedule, he would still have plenty of time to rest well and even to keep up with Grace.

She was having a blast. "I asked Ghairrisahn if I could smell her hair to tell my friend how it smells and she gave me a piece of it! I collected YOU a gift, this time!"

"You… have… some of her hair for me???" He asked excitedly.

"She pulled it out of her hairbrush! She says that it isn't even the first time. Her hair and her feet are apparently people's favorite parts." Grace held up a little baggy with curly hair in it. "I'll keep it safe for you. In the meantime, she smells like… geranium, bergamot, frankincense and myrrh."

"I… what?"

"Geranium, bergamot, frankincense and myrrh. Those are her go to essential oils, so everything she wears is one or a combination of those and no other scents, ever, so that she doesn't smell TOO strong. But, it's nice. I actually smell her hair for myself, now. Since she’s got all these oils on her body, I just say that I’m doing it for wellness."

"So jealous," he said, with a smile. “I saw that you gave her a lipstick print. She’s Apex now!”

“She said that she’s been a fan of my videos!” She sighed, "I wish you were here."

"Me too. I miss you."

"Are you holding up okay?"

Actually, my mom had the most violent outburst whenever I tried to get her into my grandmother's car and Samantha has been gone for far longer than usual. I don't know if she's coming back, I don’t even know if she’s alive…

"I'm fine," he said and saw an incoming call… from Mr. Monroe? "I...I've gotta go."

"I'm calling you tomorrow!"

"Yes, Ma'am." she hung up and he smiled, "Mr. Monroe! I didn't plan on hearing from you..."

Simon was at his journalism workshop whenever Shana sat next to him. He raised an eyebrow and rolled his eyes. "Problem?" She asked, turning to look right at him.

"Girl, leave me alone."

"Why are you so rude? Have I ever actually done you something, or do you just hate everybody that doesn't worship your girlfriend?"

"What difference does it make?" He and Grace never corrected people on the girlfriend bit. It was easier that way. They'd have to explain why they're so close and always together and never dating anyone else… like they couldn't JUST be friends?

"You stole from me. I'd like to know why."

"I've never stolen anything in my life. Your dad, on the other hand…"

She gasped and he could tell from the look on her face that was a low blow. She looked like she was going to cry. "Wow. You're just as ugly as she is. I actually thought you were the nice one."

"You are the only person who's said that. Therefore, I'm going to presume that you're lying," he said, with a slight blush. People didn't often say that he was nice at all, and especially not when choices were between him and Grace - the professional people pleaser and part time peacekeeper. The number of times that she had to keep him from cracking something over somebody’s head alone was enough to warrant at least a collective “unfriendly.”

"Doesn't matter now. You're a complete asshole." He laughed at the bold declaration. It had been a while since someone dared to insult him, much less straight up call him out of his name. He didn't know if he had ever really noticed Shana before this moment. But… she and Grace had similar features. He'd heard her referred to as "Chemical Grace" before, because she straightened her hair and wore a lot of makeup and stuff (and was the only other Black girl besides a a handful of biracial ones).

But, honestly… if Grace contoured her face, had straight hair, maybe less full lips and high cheekbones, the two of them looked a lot the same… to the point that Simon's imagination insisted that they were related.

Oooh… what if Mr. Monroe had a torrid affair once upon a time and had this daughter some months before Grace? That would explain their enmity too!

"What are you looking at?" She asked, annoyed.

"You and Grace look like you could be sisters."

She glared at him, "I don't know if you think that we all look alike or if you just miss that dragon for whatever reason, (because you're a weirdo for genuinely liking her in the first place), but if you ever say anything that insulting to me again, all bets are off. I'm going to fuck you up, Simon."

"It was a compliment. Grace is the prettiest girl in school and you're like… a close second, on the grounds that you look like less organic her.."

"Please shut up. Why are you talking to me? Are you even allowed to do that?" She rolled her eyes, but he noticed that her skin tone changed just a little bit. He knew that look too. She was blushing. He caught Grace doing so a time or two. It didn’t look the same as whenever he did, for sure, but he definitely noticed. He smirked and texted Grace. She would be in rehearsals, but she’d see it afterwards.

“Chemical Grace thinks I’m cute. (Smirk emoji)”

A few short minutes later she replied, “Nothing else to do. Gotta set yourself on fire, bruh.”

He laughed and Shana looked over, but he just gave her a hard stare until she looked away, annoyed that she had even turned towards him.

They were going to have to work together in journalism club, but he had always been surrounded by people he didn’t too much care for. At the time, he couldn’t imagine the amount of time that they might have to work together, with her being the managing editor and him being the copy editor (and photo/graphics editor, until someone else stepped up for that).

"I still can't figure out if she's lucky or cursed to have you, but I'm sure hoping for the latter," Shana said as they walked out of the workshop, practically shoulder to shoulder. He just smirked. Her insults were… kinda fun for him.

He had a couple of weeks between his engagements. Grace wanted him to fly out to meet her and fly back in a couple of weeks. She just needed him to agree and she would make sure that the tickets were purchased. He never minded accepting things from her before, but since she’d left him, things felt off for him.

He wasn’t sure if it was because he was still a little bit hurt that she decided to go on the tour. It was a chance of a lifetime. He wouldn’t have wanted her to turn it down… but he did want that. He wanted her to be nearby and available, so that when he wasn't busy, he could have her to himself to recover from everything.

That was no reason that he couldn’t go meet Ghairrisahn and see her shows for free for two weeks, though. So, he went!

Grace danced backup for some numbers and under the spotlight a couple of times too. Ghairrisahn praised her on the mic, hyped her up during her performances, thanked her by name at the end of each show, with the band and other important creators, and seemed to genuinely appreciate her.

For Simon, it was like watching a shooting star go in reverse. Like… when he met her, she was beautiful, but just sitting in a crater, and he dug her out and she shot up and was flying into the night's sky. Beautiful to behold, but also… he doesn't know why he's not with her - Why they weren't one anymore. He doesn't know why she's so out of his reach now.

They clung to that old dynamic, for a few years that it wasn't working, and now, they were shooting in different directions. Where could he possibly want to go if Grace wasn't going with him? Why was it so easy for her now to go where she was going, without him? She used to… she used to wait for him. She used to shine a little less, if only to give him a moment to catch up. She used to care…

That's unfair. She still cares. She's just having fun and she deserves some fun… even if she never would have made it this far without your support. You built her a fan base from a bunch of snobby kids who wanted high school cool points into a public figure with a massive Internet presence. You took the photos that landed her a lucrative business deal at age 14. You turned her parents' heads in her direction every chance you got, just so she could be noticed by them and get a sparkle in her eyes. She owes you everything… and she won't even look at you as anything other than her favorite accessory. Something she never wants to leave home without, but if she does, she could just smile and keep dancing…

He didn't realize that he was shaking until one of Grace's team members asked him if he was okay. He nodded and then went to find some place to be alone. He took off his hoodie and pulled a dull pen from his pocket. His thoughts were racing and his emotions were such an overwhelming cluster of negativity rushing about that he almost felt immobilized by the onslaught. He sat down, lifted his arm and began to sketch. The pen scratched him, lifting the line on his skin, with minimal blood, but a few specks. He drew tally marks. There were a few older faded ones that he had counted.

Whenever he felt hurt or weak or scared… things he couldn't say he felt. Whenever those feelings became too much. Grace had told him, "You just have gotta try to count up the good things about stuff."

"And how am I supposed to do that whenever my mind can't focus on anything but the bad stuff I'm going through?"

She made an "I don't know" sound, with the shrug of her shoulders, closed her compact mirror, looked at him with the warmest smile and said, "But, you're the smartest guy I know. You'll figure out a way to get on the path to thinking positive when your brain is mean to you." She smiled and a bird landed on her shoulder. She was petrified. "Oh my God… get… get this thing off of me Simon!" He swatted it and when it began to fly, she screamed, dropped her bag and ran. He laughed at the image as he picked up her stuff, but for that brief moment that she smiled, with an agent of nature perched on her shoulder, he got his moment of clarity. He found his way. It was her. It had been her.

Whenever he felt this way, he would center himself with a little bit of pain and just make a little mark of the good things about her that he could think of.

He hadn't done this (over her) in a while. Usually, she was the alternative medicine for hurt that his mom caused. Grace didn't hurt him very often, and the times that she did, he always made a tally to represent that she would never try to hurt him on purpose.

That's where he began his new tally of marks. 1 She's not hurting me on purpose. 2 She doesn't know that I'm hurt and I'm not going to tell her because she needs this. 3 I'm proud of her. 4 At least I get to come along. 5 She tried to bring me with her and I had to decline. 6 She never would have left me behind on purpose. 7 It was my choice and she respected that. 8 She still loves me because she wanted me here as soon as I had time. 9 We're still the Apex…

"Simon, are you in here? They told me that you rushed off and you didn't look too good?" 10 She came to check on me as soon as she heard I wasn't okay…

"Yeah. I just got overheated…" he said, pulling his hoodie back over himself.

"That's why I don't understand why you always wear a hoodie! It's summer and you sweat a lot! You're gonna make the bus musty."

"I'm gonna get washed up!" He opened the door and there she was, sweaty and musty herself, with full concern on her glowing features. She glanced at the pen and he put it away. "Fell outta my pocket," he said and covered the back of his neck with his hand, laughing nervously.

She doubted him for a moment. He saw the flicker of it in her eyes, but she smiled anyway, wrapped an arm around his back and pulled him along with her, "Come on, Your Ripeness." Simon wrapped an arm around her as well. He didn't feel any more distress. He wasn't overwhelmed or sad or angry. He had gotten “back on his positive path after his brain was mean to him.” He kissed her on the temple and she smiled and blushed. "What was that for?"

"For always being my best friend."

She tugged him down to kiss his temple too… since that's what they were doing tonight, she guessed. She winked at him and mused, "Back at cha, Gray Eyes." He melted against her and rested his head on the top of hers. Grace was… confused, but she just stood there, with his arms tightly wrapped around her. She didn't understand his sudden need to be affectionate, but she didn't want to interrupt it either.

His last night on the tour, after everyone was asleep, they snuck away, just to explore and spend time alone.

"So, guess what your dad and me discussed…"

"Ugh. You've been talking to my dad, still?"

"Um.. of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"Because I'm not even there. What could you two possibly have to even talk about?"

"We have a lot to talk about! I'm very mature for my age and I have a good head on my shoulders."

"You head-butted someone yesterday," she reminded him.

"And I barely flinched. My head is that good...Wait…" she was already laughing at the slip of the tongue. He groaned. She was never gonna let him live that one down. "Let me finish!" He whined, laughing at himself.

"You gotta stop chillin' with my dad, Dude. He's not just an adult, but he's one of the ones that we know can't be trusted."

Mr. Monroe had been very helpful to Simon during the time while Grace was away and his parents were out of reach. Bit like a mentor, but not as warm. They did discuss Grace at times, but mostly the man had been getting him in contact with the right people to help him sort out getting emancipated and for assistance with the home front while there weren't other adults there. They didn't have heart to hearts and stuff, but he was definitely an ally, in Simon's eyes. "He's… not so bad, I think. He just doesn't understand you. But, he loves you. I mean.. I think he does. The way you made them sound is worse than they are. At least they aren't like my parents…"

She frowned. "I don't like it. It's weird that you're taking up for him, too. What have you got a crush on my dad or something?"

"… Did you seriously ask me that?"

"You're going on about how great and misunderstood he is, and I've never seen you date anybody. Maybe that's what you like. Old rich dudes that can be your sugar daddy." She stuck her tongue out and twerked a little.

He laughed, "I am by no means above doing what I gotta do with your dad, if it gets me ahead, but I think your mom would kill me."

Grace laughed, "I would help her!"

"Help her? How dead do you think I would need to be? Shouldn't one of you kill him too? He's the adult in this scenario! Besides, your mom wouldn't need any help. That woman could probably kill a gorilla with her bare hands."

"Well, she's always said that she can do anything she sets her mind to with the right pair of shoes." They both laughed about the image of Mrs. Monroe killing a gorilla with a pair of pumps on. Grace thought, she's WEARING the shoes, not using them and Simon thought that she definitely had in her to stab a beast to death with a high heel.

"Talk about red bottoms," Simon said, trying to stop laughing at all of their add-ons.

"What's wrong with us? We're making jokes about my dad molesting you for money and my mom killing gorillas while staying fashionable."

"I think it poses the question, what's wrong with them?"

"Hmph. According to you, nothing."

"Not nothing, Grayyeeece… they just aren't as bad as a lot of other parents. Some of them never should have had kids."

The tone was uncomfortable for her. Like, him talking about his parents never having kids made her feel like he was indirectly saying that he didn't like being alive and that couldn't be discussed. She wouldn't be able to handle a conversation like that.

She smiled and said, "Anyways, what did you and your sugar daddy discuss?"

Now, Simon's face lit up again and he smiled, "Okay, so get this… We were discussing my busy schedule and everything I have ahead of me next year and he started to candidly speak about your social media and the tour…" she groaned. She knew that her father didn't consider what she did real art. "And somehow, he got it into his mind that you'll need a man to take care of you, a hard-working one with more realistic goals…" she fumed.

Need? A man? To take care?? Of me???

"Long story short, your dad offered to pay my college tuition, to any school that I want to go to in exchange for wooing you and being your stable man."

She stared at him, expecting some type of twist. The gotcha or whatever. He laughed, but seemed serious. "My dad wants to pay you to try to be my boyfriend?"

"Technically, his word was to 'tame' you."

"TAME???"

"He thinks that you've blindly rushed into wild dreams and that you need a smart, strong boy to help you stabilize."

"Ugh!!! You know, he ruined my mom's career with that same line of thinking! And she had to live vicariously through me. I can't BELIEVE that he'd pay YOU for that job!" She was furious.

Simon looked offended, "Why'd you say it like that?"

"You're my friend. He expects you to just screw me over and play with my mind for some money."

"It's not THAT simple. For… an education that I work really hard to get, but still may have to settle on a scholarship that might not cover everything. An education that, if I had it, I could finally make something of myself in this world. It wasn't like he offered me a cartoon bag of cash. He offered me a future that I deeply want and need. Nothing cheap or meaningless.."

She intertwined their fingers, "Okay. Then… you'll get that."

"What do you mean?"

"He wants to give you college in exchange for making me your girlfriend, then he's about to pay for your college."

"Are you suggesting that we officially openly pretend to be a couple instead of leaving it to mystery?"

"I'm suggesting that my father deserves for you to take every dime he's willing to pay you to manipulate me."

"I don't think that you realize that what he wants me to do is change you, and even if we could get one over on him, the act would have to last through my college career…"

"We've unofficially been a couple in people's eyes for almost that long already."

"No we haven't!"

"I am making you a counter offer. It's the very same deal as my dad's, but in this one, we stay the same, but he pays you anyway! So… be my partner, already." She held out her hand to him and he tentatively accepted it and shook it. She smiled. "We'll have to pace it, if he's expecting you to woo me. Gonna have to be a soft entrance and he'll have to notice a gradual shift."

He nodded in agreement. He knew that they were speaking about a fake relationship, but he still felt butterflies fluttering in his gut thinking about it. Being Grace's boyfriend… even if pretend… for years… There was no way that they could pull that off… but, what if it led to something? What if he could woo her, for real? Have her for real?

"Let's go be seen," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm an internet personality. If people spot us out and about this time of night, they'll talk about it. If we seem like we're trying to be secretive, they'll post about it." She took his hand and pulled him along.

"We'll have to set some ground rules for this couple project…" he said.

She laughed, "You can set whatever rules you want. I'm doing everything that I've normally done, but I'll be letting my parents think you're my boyfriend so that you can go to school or whatever."

"It's risky. What about affection? What about if one of us finds somebody else that we like?"

"You like somebody?"

"No. I'm just thinking about the complications to this ruse."

"You're a war buff… Just think about it like a secret identity that you have to commit to for an espionage assignment. The fate of your future depends on it, so in a way, it's a mission of life and death." His eyes twinkled at her and she smirked. He loved when she began to try to speak his language.

"I understand now," he said.

#If They Didn't Get on the Train #AU Infinity Train #Infinity Train #Nesha Fanfiction #Infinity Train Fanfiction #fics

16 notes · View notes

taggedmemes · 5 years

Text

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND / 1.08 –– 1.09 always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

“Which one of you is right?”

“Work has me on double shifts this week.”

“The holidays can suck.”

“Tell us what it’s like to be poor.”

“Man, the holidays blow when you’re old.”

“I’m not even allowed to sit on Santa’s lap anymore.”

“He’s killed people with his thighs.”

“Screw pigeons.”

“They serve substandard cheddar and generic chocolate chip cookies, but the sharing and grieving is great.”

“I can’t believe I almost slept with that guy.”

“I’m not gonna magically change to please your mother.”

“She said I drive like the grandma she’s starting to think she’ll never be.”

“You’re a level five mom pleaser.”

“You will say anything to make that woman happy.”

“I’m not gonna lie to feed into her dysfunction.”

“You’re looking healthy, and by healthy I mean chunky.”

“I don’t mean that as an insult, I’m just stating it as fact.”

“I give you everything and you still want more.”

“Wouldn’t kill you to get a maid in here.”

“Are you sure that you’re not gay?”

“You don’t even have a bath mat. Who doesn’t have a bath mat?”

“For the life of me, I don’t understand why you moved here.”

“I already took my sleeping pill.”

“You got really drunk, and then slow-danced with that giant fish.”

“I’m gonna get her the same gift I get her every year: my presence.”

“Just to be clear, I didn’t invite you.”

“I’ll finally have a witness to the insanity.”

“I support all of your wacky decisions.”

“I need you to come to lunch and pretend to be someone, like, fancy.”

“Turns out my real life is garbage, but my fake life is amazing.”

“So, yeah, I had to break up with him.”

“You never made the most normal friends.”

“It’s so difficult to stop once you get started.”

“There is no lie that you can tell this woman that will get her approval.”

“You finally found a friend who’s not a loser.”

“Romanticizing the working class perpetuates economic disparity.”

“There’s nothing wrong with working at a bar.”

“I’m not taking money from you guys. I’m not a freeloader.”

“I really think we’ve turned a corner in our relationship somehow.”

“That sounds like secret lover language.”

“Is he a boob man or a butt man?”

“I would love another glass of wine.”

“She’s cool and you’re a dick.”

“I need you to sleep with my mom.”

“I bet she’s a real spitfire in the sack.”

“You’re a dramatic little girl who never thinks through the consequences of her actions.”

“I am tired of trying to bend over backwards to please someone who can never be pleased.”

“You got a lot of nerve, you know that? After all I’ve done for you.”

“I think I pulled my spine and may never walk again.”

“It might be time for me to grow up.”

“Your lack of social decorum saved the holiday.”

“I totally relate to him, the sensitive jock who eats clean and journals hard.”

“You didn’t feel any connection to the vain yoga instructor?”

“I promise this time I’m not gonna oversleep and miss it.”

“I don’t understand why she keeps popping up all over the place.”

“She banged her best friend’s boyfriend in the bathroom of that half-priced sushi place.”

“The answer’s clear now that I’m talking out loud.”

“You’re fooling yourself.”

“I don’t care how I got invited. The point is, I got invited.”

“You are just setting yourself up for another one of your disasters.”

“Those were unfortunate but random occurrences.”

“If the same bad things keep happening over and over, there is a reason for it, and in your case it’s denial.”

“This is why everything you do backfires on you.”

“You may be fine continuing on this way, but I can’t take it anymore.”

“Someday, I hope to become sentient.”

“I always like to start my beach trip with a live sex show.”

“I’ve always thought you deserve to be happy.”

“This day has been a nightmare.”

“If you people don’t eat this, I’m gonna kill myself.”

“I think I saw inside of her.”

“There’s only one reason she did that.”

“I don’t think you understand the female reproductive system.”

“I wasn’t doing this for a guy.”

“Why does she get a pass for every crazy thing she does?”

“That’s a weird way to phrase it.”

“He can’t tell me who to hook up with. I’m a grown-ass man.”

“I don’t bring my baggage with me to every date.”

“Underneath that laid back attitude, he’s really controlling and bossy.”

“I’m tapped out with the lying and the denial.”

“I’m gonna drink this last craft beer, even though it tastes like thick, soapy shampoo.”

“You don’t need a palate to drink beer.”

“We are always listening to your horrible music.”

“Just stop freaking talking about her.”

“He’s a sarcastic dick all the time, and still hasn’t grown up.”

“A part of me was hoping I was wrong.”

“I made the decision that I had to be where the happiness was.”

“The point is, it was the best decision I ever made.”

“Do you understand why I haven’t been completely forthcoming?”

“I don’t think you’re crazy at all.”

“He found out that I’ve been lying, but instead of turning his back on me, he just opened up more.”

“He was so warm and kind and understanding.”

“You can nap in the car.”

“Don’t ever lie to me again.”

#rp meme #roleplay meme #sentence meme #sentence starters #starter sentences #KIND / SENTENCE.#KIND / IN CHARACTER.#BASED ON / TV SHOW.

46 notes · View notes

saigebeaumontt · 5 years

Text

( danielle rose russell, cisfemale, she/her ) I, FREYA KAVINSKY am a SCHOLARSHIP student and would hereby like to submit my application to Kingswood Boarding School. I am SEVENTEEN years old and will be a JUNIOR. I would describe myself as HEARTFELT and EAGER, but also UNINHIBITED and PIGHEADED which I plan to work on during my time here. This is my request to join the VICTORIA building as a house MEMBER and look forward to hearing back from you.

im trash ik but here’s a brand new baby to play w!! her pinterest can be found HERE pls ignore the photos of crystal reed, that’s freya’s original fc sdfghj

tw; death, drug/alcohol abuse? w/ implications of self destruction

so first thing’s first, freya was born n raised in chicago alongside her father and her older sister

her mother had died during freya’s birth--though freya doesn’t...blame herself, necessarily, there are days where she imagines what life would’ve been like if her mother was still alive

her dad’s a mechanic and the sole provider for their household, which meant that he was gone more often than not

regardless, he tried to be as active as possible in his children’s lives

her sister always took up the role of..well, mother, in a sense

freya and her are incredibly close b/c of this

even so--her father had wanted them to be as active as possible, as out of the house as he was--so it didn’t seem like he was gone as much as he was

so, with a few strings pulled and familial connections, freya was able to attend ballet lessons at a young age, alongside an instrument of her choosing, at a discounted price

she chose violin btw...very relevant

and like, to everybody’s surprise--she sort of excelled at both--it almost came naturally, though that didn’t mean she hadn’t put in a buncha effort regardless, y’know

practice makes perfect, yadda yadda

took up a few more instruments for fun, such as piano and like...i dunno, guitar of various forms (including bass guitar) though she likes violin the best

that led to her attending a p prestigious performing arts high school in her city--which wasn’t done by pulling strings

her father worked even more shifts, her sister got a job to help pitch in, they took out loans, yadda yadda. anything they could do so she could pursue this...dream

except...ballet and violin has never been freya’s dream--its just something she happens to be good at

everybody just...assumed, that since she was so talented, she had to want to pursue it

not the case at all, really. she loves it, really, but...her passion has always surrounded animals

specifically marine animals, which is odd considering freya had never seen the ocean before

really...marine anything, she loves. maybe it’s because its something she hasn’t experienced , but ykno

ANYWAYS

she felt sort of...stuck, b/c she never wanted to disappoint her dad or her sister or any of their family friends who were all rootin’ for her

this led to some...rebellion, of sorts, when she was a freshmen

nothing...BAD, per say, but y’know. baseball bats to mailboxes whilst hanging out of the window of a pick-up truck, vandalizing abandoned buildings and historical monuments, shoplifting from convenience stores.

okay so like...a little bad

that was just the crowd she found herself in, y’know, in her teenage angst

has definitely been arrested a few times, but has always managed to get off scotch free ??

it’s luck, im telling u. she only has like..three things on her record rn

ALSO learned how to ride a motorcycle and was in a punk band based in her school n did bass for it, ‘cos that’s what rebellious teenagers do n whatever

and this, well, y’know. did disappoint her father and her sister and all their family friends but at this point freya was like ?? i can’t stop

her boyfriend at the time was a major contributor to her troublemaking tbh

when he transferred to kingswood, freya’s lil 15 yr old heart was broken.

spent her entire sophomore yr working her ass off and getting her shit together so that kingswood would look at her, and pick her, too--

and like...it finally paid off, y’know? her junior year they’d graciously given her a scholarship based off of her music AND academics

so she was absolutely thrilled

granted, she was only able to start attending halfway thru her junior year, at the beginning of the second semester...but she was there, at least, right?

very ecstatic to find her boyfriend and surprise him

they’d been doing long distance, and he had no idea that she had gotten in

found out his dorm number, walked right up to his door--knocked, and he answered with his shirt off n a number of hickeys on his chest

it was a surprise for both of them lmao

obv. freya is not stupid, if not a lil blinded by love at the time. they broke up, she was heartbroken

sorta shut herself in for a few months ‘cos she was so sad abt it

so it’s kinda like she’s still new, tho it’s been a few months since january

but she’s BACK and she’s POPPIN’ and she acts like it still doesn’t bother her !

but like...it does. it rly does. she’s still mcfreakin’ hurt abt it, she’s just handling it in another way

aka, a lil bit of partying...a lil bit of drinking, casual drug use, hooking up, etc. etc. just bein that bitch, y’know?

ANYWAYS

has always had a lil bit of a tomboy aesthetic ?? despite being a freakin’ ballerina, it just not her aesthetic man

constantly wearin’ dark colors n reds and leather jackets n denim on denim n cuffin’ her pants n whatnot

even brought her motorcycle 2 school w/ her

EXCELS at science, wants to become a marine biologist or smth when she’s older

just...hasn’t told anybody that

DON’T B FOOLED BY HER APPEARANCE THO

she’s not some antisocial punk, okay, she’s not anna

very humble but not in a way where u have to be like ‘ugh u have talent u idiot’ , she just doesn’t like bragging about it ?

even tho her ex is an idiot she’s still glad to be there bc of how prestigious kingswood is

kinda tries 2 befriend as many ppl as possible ?? she isn’t a people pleaser, though, n it’s sort of like...u get what u get, w/ her

she doesn’t act as if she’s got a whole separate life or nothin’, she balances both her rebellious nature and her talents n w/e

fun fact her mother was a leader of elizabeth but like...does she know? no. does it matter? only to ppl like lilah smh

ANYWAYS AGAIN

i’d consider her like....a gryffindor, to sum up her personality ??

very brave, fearless, can be stupidly reckless. gets herself into trouble even now

prolly is a lil bit of a hoe but we love that for her, okay ??

but also ?? will die for her pals ?? n is very true to herself ??

we call her accidentally messy

neutral good tbh ?? very wholesome person

will take care of u if ur sick, is v protective of those she loves

also doesn’t rly....believe in love rn, or is at least very over the concept.

girl next door ?? i dunno

sometimes...she does these bad things...’cos she thinks she deserves it, in a way?

like she’ll drink too much n get a real bad hangover or do a drug when she knows she’ll have a bad trip

so she’s got a lil bit of self loathing

however she knows it’s a problem

she’s just...not willing 2 do much abt it rn

living her best life lmao

ambivert, will go to parties but will also sit in w/ a book gladly

can b v v stubborn, is in debate b/c she loves...to argue, sometimes sksk

m8 i dunno she’s got layers..like an onion

wanted connections

her...ex would be nice, however it’s prolly better suited to send in as a WC unless there’s a dude from chicago out here whose made the mistake of cheatin’

HOWEVER, i would love pals !! friends of any sort !! she’s friendly !! like her !!

ride or die!

unlikely pals!

good influences!

bad influences!

she’s in a band w/ ezra im p sure

i ALSO would like hook ups!

accidental hookups!

casual hookups!

fwbs ?!?

Bad. hookups!

she’s probably accidentally hooked up w/ somebody’s partner so

enemies ! for w/e reason !

rivals!

frenemies!

fake friends !?

everything!

gimme everything !!

#kings:intro #like this n i'll come plot w/ u!!#this is saige's old blog im not changin' shit except her name n icon but i'll...get to it eventually

6 notes · View notes

tanyaryanmusic · 5 years

Text

To All the Buttholes I’ve Loved Before.

I’m so glad I had the opportunity to date so many buttholes.

Buttholes are such an important part of the self-development process. They highlight all the areas in that we lack. If you have trouble drawing boundaries - no problem! A butthole will come a take advantage of you until you figure it out.

You struggle with being a constant people-pleaser? You will eventually come across the forever un-pleaseable butthole.

Doesn’t matter what the goal of your personal journey into self discovery; overcoming your issues with confrontation, temper, drama, perfectionism, your value and/or self worth. There’s a butthole for that.

Of course I didn’t always see it this way. I went through a stretch of disliking, and in some cases, loathing these people for a period of time. I would relive and replay all the ways they had wronged me, hurt me or taken advantage of me. Then that got kind of boring so I decided to reflect on their impact. I was able to take away valuable and insightful lessons that helped me to understand myself and the world a little bit better. And even if in most cases I learned maybe a little too late, I still learned.

I’m not sure who coined the term serial monogamist, but I think that would describe my dating habits as well as any. I have dated enough to fully emerge myself in the experiences of various nuances of men on the butthole spectrum:

There was the one that was so sweet and sensitive but turned out that his ‘sensitivity’ was actually a stealthy form of manipulation, and for bonus points, he was also a low-key misogynist racist. NBD. Then there was the passive aggressive who wanted time, love and attention but could not request this directly so he used the silent treatment to get his way and to avoid conversations he didn’t want to have. Then the ‘I-can’t-live-without-you, you’re-my-whole-world’ one that slowly got me to do everything for him because he needed me and I was ‘always so much better at it’ than he was. That was actually super clever. Well done.

And then there was that one guy that when we broke up he called my home phone number 28 times in the middle of the night. And my cell phone 16 times. (No exaggeration here people. I’ve never seen anything like it.) And he left voicemails and texts that rom-coms base their desperate post-breakup characters off of - calling the first time just sad… the second one was more desperate. Then it was fiercely angry with horrendous name-calling. Then apologetic. Then sad again. And so on. I am absolutely one to indulge in the occasional hyperbole, but this was legit what happened. I suspect there are some deeper issues there.

Anyway. If you get the chance to reflect on these experiences in an objective manner, you get to pull out all the skillsets that they left you with. In many of my own experiences it came down to me learning to honour my value, draw boundaries, and have more self-respect.

If you get really keen on being objective, reflective and learning; you can also take away how you, yourself were a butthole. I am fully aware of the level 10 butthole I have been in certain circumstances (none of which will be listed today, because I know you think I’m perfect and I would hate to disillusion you). I also see the miscommunications that happened, and how things sort of got muttled, and therefore people got hurt unnecessarily. But hey, we’re all a little tougher now with a better sense of humour. Right? Or perhaps, the less desirable outcome, in which we’re all a little more jaded with a bitter sense of humour. Either way.

Each of the experiences with these buttholes (and my being the occasional butthole) really helped me to identify the man I chose to marry. They created this metaphorical checklist that I was able to go through.

Oh, you do that thing where you twist everything up and have no responsibility for anything? … nah. No thanks.

Ah yes, I am familiar with this technique. This is the avoid-it-until-she-gives-up technique. Nope. Next!

Hm, I am noticing how defensive and mean I get around you. I don’t like this version of me. Peace mofo, I’m out.

As awful as it sounds, there was a period of time when I was dating the man that became my husband that I was practically waiting for him to do something ignorant. But he just never really did… Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like he’s perfect. It’s more that he’s accountable. He has his moments, and he’s the first to tell me he’s sorry, or that it’s not my fault or that he just needs a bit of time to figure something out. If he’s been a bit insensitive or I have felt hurt, I tell him. He listens to me and he always apologizes. (And he doesn’t say dumb stuff like: “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Or “Calm down it was only two fries!”)

My husband respects the shit out of me. It kills me that his mother has passed away because I always want to thank her for whatever she did to make him the man he is today (I do regularly thank his dad), and I want to take notes so I can one day raise a human to be so considerate and kind.

He cherishes me. He makes me feel important to him. I feel valued, trusted and loved.

I once told him about my insanely unreasonable fear of getting locked out of the house. That day (THAT DAY) he went to Home Depot and changed the deadbolt out for a mechanical deadbolt so I didn’t have to worry about losing my key. I didn’t ask him to do that, he just did. ‘Cause he’s awesome.

He always cleans the kitchen if I cook. And often will help me clean the kitchen if he’s cooked. He does the laundry, he plans dates, and buys my favourite snacks when I’m PMS-y. He also buys me flowers every time he comes home from a long stint at work.

But most importantly, I can be all the weirdest versions of myself. He supports me with my experimenting, pushing boundaries and trying new things. I am allowed to feel all my feelings, and I feel truly safe knowing that he’s not threatened by my experiencing emotions. My favourite part of our relationship is that neither of us holds the other one to blame when we are sad, upset or hurt. Even if it was their doing… we don’t say “You hurt me” … it’s “I’m hurt.”

I know that we’ve only been together for a short time but this isn’t the first time I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years, and this one is different. At this point in previous relationships I am usually acutely aware of things that are making me feel stifled and uncomfortable, and simultaneously naively optimistic that all that garbage will get sorted out - and then it doesn’t, and maybe it lasts a few months more until it inevitably comes to a strained end. I’m just really grateful to be this far in and there’s no garbage. There’s effort, communication, and the occasional disagreement. But it’s pretty mellow. And I love that.

There’s a Buddhist quote that discusses finding your person, I’m going to paraphrase it because I can’t remember it and Google was NO help. It says something along the lines of: when you meet your life-partner it won’t be all sweaty palms, heart pounding and fireworks, instead, it will be this noticeable sense of calm. AKA it won’t be this dramatic hot/cold soap opera. I think we base our expectations of love on movies, TV and storybooks - which is a distorted adaptation of reality. It’s not to say you won’t get butterflies or nervous - sometimes I still do with Brin! But mostly he makes me feel ease. And it was like that from day one. Easy.

There are many people with a long dating history of failed relationships that will tell you there aren’t many good ones left. They’re the first to tell me that I really lucked out with how awesome Brinley is. Don’t worry all, I am well aware that my husband is straight-up the tits. But I want to get across something I feel is very important. I truly feel that I was able to identify my husband as someone to spend my life with because I reflected and learned from my past relationships. I was willing to look myself in the face and acknowledge where I needed to adjust and shift for my own personal growth; and I was able to very distinctly know what I wanted in the human being that would become my life-partner. I became so clear on this that I had decided I would rather be alone and happy by myself, than to settle for a relationship that only filled me up part way.

Before I met Brinley I made a list. A list of qualities and traits that were all inspired by the previous relationships that I had experienced. It was a pretty detailed list. When I completed my list, I read through it, and my first thought was: “Wow. If this person exists. He’s a pretty remarkable person.” It made me reflect. If I find this incredible person, then I ought to be the most incredible version of myself that I can be. I ought to be willing to return these same qualities. It’s not terribly fair to ask someone for this level of investment if you’re not willing to come to the table with similar value. So I started doing my best to develop in my own areas, asking myself harder questions: Are you ready for your person? Truly. The person that you know you want. The one that is going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Are you taking care of yourself? Are you comfortable being all of yourself? Are you responsible with your money? Are you brave enough to own your feelings and your mistakes? Are you able to stand up for yourself? All of this inquiry gave me the motivation to invest in myself. To hold myself accountable to rise and expand on who I am. To acknowledge my value and observe my deficits with kindness and patience.

So thank you, Buttholes. You were the reasons I was able to make that list. The reasons I knew exactly what I appreciated in a long-term relationship and the reasons I knew exactly what I didn’t need. You helped motivate me to step back and evaluate myself and acknowledge my various strengths and the I’m-working-on-them parts. You helped me to understand and appreciate what a truly incredible person Brinley is. Without the contrasting experiences of your Butthole-ism I may never have been able to fully appreciate the gift that my husband is.

Thanks Buttholes. I only hope I was able to do the same for you.

#Buttholes dating yycblog yyc thingsIwrite boydrama learningfromshit lifelessons humour musings reflection relationships

1 note · View note

darrowsrising · 6 years

Text

Mustang

Anon: Hi! It’s the anon who was asking about the Cassius/Mustang plot point! Thank you for answering my question so throughly and thoughtfully! I was kinda nervous to post anything and I thought your answer was really kind. And I hope you do like debates because I have an almost embarrassing amount of thoughts lol (it’s why I did the “submit a post” thing).

I’ve read Golden Son a billion times — it’s one of my top 5 favorite books. It never occurred to me until after I wrote that first ask that Mustang might have been spying. I wish that was clearer in the book (if that is what Pierce intended). But if she was spying, it seems she missed a vital piece of intelligence; it didn’t seem like she knew the Bellona were going to murder her family at the gala. She clearly knew something was up, but there didn’t seem to be a plan in place to defend her family during the gala. Yes, the Howlers are on Luna, but it’s not clear to me if they were literally hovering outside the gala waiting for Mustang’s signal? I’d also argue that a lot of what she needed to know about the Bellona (you mentioned Julia’s hunger strike and Karnus killing Claudius) was public knowledge. I don’t think it’s clear whether she gained any key knowledge by dating Cassius. Also, I would argue that she does let her emotions overrule her logic, based on this line: “I felt a fraud. A wicked girl who’d contrived a reason to do something stupid.” I’ve always read that as her admitting, yeah, this whole thing wasn’t my best idea. (How do you read that line?)

And I agree she seems to feel guilt over using Cassius based on that scene, but in her future interactions with him she’s pretty stone cold. I would think if she felt guilty she might want to at least tell him the truth about how she viewed their relationship? But she avoids talking to him until after he’s almost hanged (I wish we knew how that conversation went!).

Here’s the thing. I think it’s fine if she made a bit of an error in judgement. In fact, I’d like her character more if this Cassius thing had been framed/viewed more as a mistake. She can still be brilliant and a genius and powerful and also mess up sometimes.

One of the reasons I love the Red Rising series is all of the character arcs. Sevro struggles but eventually grows into his role as a leader. So does Darrow. Victra sees herself as a destructive monster but eventually realizes she can change and she deserves love. Cassius realizes he’s on the wrong side.

I never felt that same type of arc with Mustang. In the book and in the fandom she seems to be viewed as beyond reproach. And that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with perfect characters. But I think it’s the reason I never really connected with Mustang. I love the conversation you quoted from Golden Son. I think it’s one of the few times Mustang lets her guard down a little. I wish there was more of that. And I wish we could see her struggle and overcome something on a personal level. Like, I’ve always thought it would have been cool of Darrow’s mother was the one person in the whole book who didn’t immediately like Mustang, but then eventually Mustang wins her over by saving Darrow on the ice or something.

I’m not here to hate on Mustang. I think she’s smart. I think she’s loyal. I think if she wanted to keep Pax from Darrow that’s her business and it’s not a betrayal. I like her and Darrow together. I don’t think she necessarily owes Cassius an explanation about anything. I just wish we got more insight into her character. Her getting a POV in Dark Age is super exciting to me for this reason. I want to know if she ever has doubts. I want to see her mess up. I want to see her put her trust in someone only to have it bite in her the butt (but then get out of the jam).

Do you think Mustang has any character flaws? What do you hope to see from her in Dark Age? (I’m so sorry this ended up being a billion words long!)

Astrea: Hi! Great thinking with the submission thing. Keep the debates going!

I’m happy to know your insights on Mustang more. I love it when people have different opinions on things, but debate about it friendly. The hate isn’t necessary at all and since I’ve been on the receiving end of hate in some fandoms for loving a character or the series as a whole, I’m sick of it and glad this fandom, with all its imperfection, has people like you. Though have to mention that Virginia is my favorite female character so there is some bias to what I say even if I try not to be biased.

Now, I think that people interpret some things in certain ways. That is especially a thing since Darrow’s pov is subjective. We see the things his way so we make our own opinions about what is one and said. These are mine:

I know that I always reiterate how perfect Virginia au Augustus is, but to be honest, she is not. She just seems like she is. Look, there is a quote by Nietsche I adore that goes like this: “what is done for love is beyond good and evil”. What Virginia au Augustus did with the whole “dating Cassius” thing was beyond good and evil. She tried to keep her enemies closer to protect her father…now, Nero isn’t the most deserving guy to protect. She forgives a lot of things from her family and her self sacrificing isn’t a quality in this case. There is also the fact that she loses at Deimos and she gets desperate, anything to protect her child, which again, is justifyable and understable, but it walks that thin line. Add to that her political mistakes as Sovereign: she is a fair ruler, but thing is…she doesn’t rule anymore. The separation of power was done too fast, she gave up too much power and the Senate doesn’t have any kind of stop sign now (look at what they did with the immigration laws, the fact that hate speech is a normal occurance and they have no legislation to stop it or punish it etc.), Pax got kidnapped because she is seen as too weak and people-pleaser to crush the Syndicate, the fact that Sefi didn’t get punished for what happened on Luna when the Obsidians attacked innocents with her leading them is not ok and compromise or not. Her fight with Darrow before he left…he was wrong, but she wasn’t right either. You can’t force your beliefs on someone, you can’t force someone to not do something even if it’s for their own good. They have to choose.

Again, no one is perfect and Virginia fits in that category too. Pierce Brown’s characters are very human and made of shades of grey. And he wrote Virginia like that too.

Getting back to GS, yes, she knew her father wasn’t seen in a bright light by Octavia, but it wasn’t common knowledge that she wanted him dead or that the gala was made to kill Nero. We find that out later. Virginia au Augustus might be strong, but the Sovereign was stronger, she ruled over the entire Milky Way with an iron fist. She needed to be sure before going against her, that’s why I believe she waited for Octavia to confirm the assassination plot. You can’t go against the Sovereign just on assumptions. Sevro confirms that he was brought back to the Core by Mustang. Kavax congratulated her on her plan of staying in Octavia’s graces. Yes, you might think that she didn’t gain much out of it, but she learnt a lot about Octavia, politics, Board of Quality Control, the law system. She knew how to bait her father into accepting her and Darrow’s plan (the one with taking Institute and Academy students) because she knew how to react to Octavia’s plans. Remember also that she kidnapped Lysander which isn’t at all a small feat to do.

I don’t think it’s fair to say that she didn’t evolve at all, she’s just flat character. She is a Reformer, but she defends her father who is a tyrant. She believes that Colors deserve basic human rights and interColor relationships legal and protected by law, she believes in another way than that of the Society, yet, she does what she does for her family. She does walk a line of rights and wrongs. Put in a position where she has to choose between what is right and her family it took awhile until she made up her mind. But she did. She chose what was right. She sentenced Adrius to the gallows. She fought for what was right. She, who was raised to choose her family above all else. It’s not a thing easy to brush off, because, she didn’t do it because she loved Darrow, she did it because she acknowledged that her family is wrong, that they are the enemy, that she can’t keep jumping to help them and step on her principles when people are dying and her loved ones are suffering.

When she says she felt like a fraud? My interpretation:She said it about herself in the context she was finding herself in that relationship. She told herself she could go on in a loveless relationship for the sake of the people she loves (she admits she didn’t love Cassius and I believe her), but when she saw Darrow again she felt like a fraud, a wicked girl. Why? Because she is using Cassius for her own interests. Because she isn’t like her father, she isn’t proud that she manipulates a good man and his family like that. Because she doesn’t love Cassius like he deserves to be loved, she still feels for Darrow. Because as much of a Pixie Cassius was for a time (a long time), he isn’t a bad person.

Because the whole thing is presented from Darrow’s point of view it seems like Mustang’s plan wasn’t the smartest tool in the box, but there is no way Darrow, Nero, Adrius and the rest would have gotten out of Luna alive. Ever! So it wasn’t that bad, not really a mistake. She isn’t really happy with what happened if that makes things right in your view. But it is what it is. I think Pierce wrote her outside of Darrow to show her moral lines, views and character unattached to his. Imagine that she and Darrow never broke up before he went to the academy. That means she might never have gone to Luna to be a political genius and make a career for herself (she led the Telemanuses, the Arcoses and allied with the Moon Lords and had their respect in MS and the Reformists looked up to her in GS so I think her work on Luna helped her achieve those), she might have never learn things about herself or experience a relationship or become a Reformist. She would have been another love interest, a character created just for the protagonist. Now that’s a stretch, but that’s the idea - she needed to be on her own. She needed to be written away from Darrow in a way or another. The way it was done is filled with drama, but if you look at the details of it, it isn’t that bad.

As for the whole ‘not talking to Cassius’? Honestly, I didn’t give a fuck about that. I was on Sevro’s side, Cassius was a Pixie in my eyes. He started to get likable towards the end of Morning Star. And I agree with the whole Virginia doesn’t owe Cassius shite, because she doesn’t. Cassius killed Fitchner, helped the Sovereign and the Jackal kill her father. She didn’t even love him…thank u, next! Now my pettiness aside, because Cassie is part of the top 10, thank u Iron Gold! She talked to him when she felt like it. There is nothing wrong with that. I think it was after Darrow showed Cassius that holo of his family getting killed at Octavia’s orders. (and yes, after he was hanged) I think it was to partially tell him the plan and partially to tell him the truth about their relationship, why she shot an arrow through his neck with no hesitation, because she owed him that much.

We’ll get probably more info in her pov, but we can give her a break on this subject because 1. she never got the chance to talk to him again in GS with war and Triumphs and being pregnant and 2. they only re-met at the Peace Treaty, they talked only business and the whole thing got blown up by the Howlers before something could come of it.

Virginia au Augustus is an acquired taste really, so it just depends on how you read in between the lines Darrow’s pov. For me, she is a well written character. The amount of self-control, intelligence, kindness, teasing and confidence and vulnerability (it’s rare, but it’s more special for it, like that moment after Darrow and she talked to Adrius, when she cried and let herself be fragile in Darrow’s arms) she displays are very beautiful for me, especially after having a father like Nero (who had more mood swings than me on my period) and a brother like Adrius…and losing her mother and her best friend - Pax.

I am not trying to convince anyone to like her as much as I do. I’m just explaining how I see her…so these are my views.

We can debate other things too! Come by more often!

#virginia au augustus #mustang #sovereign #lionheart #red rising trilogy #iron gold trilogy #submission

17 notes · View notes

isroselalondebisexual · 6 years

Note

What do you think Rose Egbert would be like? :0 And Dave Harley, John Lalonde, and Jade Strider

Rose Egbert, raised in a supportive, loving home environment, would probably still be fighty and punchy because I don’t think there’s a single parent in existence that could ever change that about her, but she’s also very likely going to be more inclined to wait until being PROMPTED before she lets loose her floods of salt and snark. So like, a pretty regular girl on first impressions, definitely deeply entrenched in her Hot Topic mall goth phase, wears chokers from Spencers and whatnot, but pretty friendly at face value and in all the advanced literature courses, has been in every psychology class the public education system offers. On the debate team. And so you’re like, cool, she’s on debate, that should be fun, she’s pretty well composed as a person I bet she has some good thoughts. And then you attend one of the debate matches. And you see a side of Rose Egbert you never knew existed and holy hot DAMN you’re not sure if you’re terrified or in love with her. Possibly both. Probably both. She’s quick witted alright, devastatingly intelligent and in this to WIN. Dad Egbert has all of her debate trophies (medals? I wasn’t in debate idk how these things work) displayed as proudly as he displayed his clown statues in the canon timeline. Her role as a Seer of Breath is to best free the timeline and her friendgroup from the clutches of the Literally-A-Demon Lord of Time, who seeks to enslave them, their timeline, and the universe to his whims, to become his playthings. Her role is to forsee the best route, not in terms of luck, but as a specific, pointed fuck you to Doc Scratch, Lord English, and everything associated with them. That part in canon where Rose is talking to Doc and he’s like “do you even still have that emotion?” or whatever and she’s like “Why, yes, it seems it’s all been mysteriously relocated to my middle finger. The dark magics are at it again.” Like that but times a thousand she is SMART she has FORESIGHT and she is going to FREE THEIR TIMELINE, BITCH.

Dave Harley grew up alone on an island with a magic dog and some weird chess folk, so first of all he doesn’t know what a gender is so jot that down, second of all what do you mean boys don’t like boys? Obviously boys like boys, he likes boys, u r foolish, u silly human culture you. So uh, you know how Dave is like, this huge massive attention whore in canon and he starts out “I’m so cool are you noticing me being cool and not caring over here”? Yeah no, immediately bypasses that, this boy wants ATTENTION so TALK TO HIM DAMMIT. His only real guide for physical touch has been a dog and some people who are not human so Personal Space Whomst? Dave is here, he is in your personal space, you are paying attention to him bitches. His collection of weird dead shit is even weirder, given that it is a Harley tradition to taxidermy weird shit and also he lives out on an island now. Probably takes the PRETTIEST photos of like, the island views and stuff, which he naturally posts online and gets a lot of likes and reblogs for which, good, give him that sweet sweet validation. His selfies are everywhere. Go like them. His role as the Knight of Space would be a pretty important one, he’s upholding the balance of the universe and breeding the new one and stuff, which basically just means he’s the weird frog dad now. You see all those frogs? Those are his babies. He loves them. Smorch. Dave ew don’t kiss frogs that’s gross. Dave does not care, Dave is gonna smooch those frogs bc he loves them and all their mutant little paradox offspring. Dave the frog whisperer. Whenever Karkat’s getting screechy he just like. Takes one out of his sylladex or his hood or pocket or SOMEWHERE and sets it delicately down in front of Karkat when he’s not looking and Karkat proceeds to screech and flip out and Dave laughs at him. This Dave is likely a lot more carefree, but doesn’t have a good grasp of concepts like “responsibility” or “giving people space.” A good and goofy kid, with some nice tasty abandonment issues probably thrown into the mix there somewhere. He doesn’t wanna be alone again.

John Lalonde very likely has a very bad grasp of what consequences are. If he breaks shit, they can just buy a new one, if he pranks someone a little too mean or says something that goes a little too far, his mom is easy to forgive him. My dear sweet ADHD child probably didn’t do too good in school and did a lot of class clowning tomfoolery but Mom Lalonde didn’t discipline him for it at home so threats of “I will call your mother if you don’t settle down” didn’t have much of an effect on him. He’s a good kid! Friendly and loving and affectionate, but if he fucks up he doesn’t take responsibility for it and pulls the “it was just a joke!” card way too frequently and doesn’t know how to actually apologize or fix his mistakes. But even though he’s very outwardly childish, he’s also surprisingly mature for his age, by way of like, opinions and stuff? Like he’ll say stuff and it’ll seem totally left field for him cause John you’re like, the funny dude of our group, but he’s also the one who knows how to disinfect wounds and the RIDICULOUS importance of making sure your older sibling knows who their DD is when they’re off drinking with their friends and while he doesn’t have an emotional reaction to traumatic events right off the bat (like in canon) he does do a VERY good job of responding pragmatically to them, and that’s kind of a result of yeah, his mom’s his buddy, and yeah, she lets him get away with anything, but no, John doesn’t really get the chance to be a kid ALL the time, and in part he acts out like this because he’s frustrated that he CAN’T fully be a kid, so he’s overcompensating. His role as the Heir of Light would be as somebody who embodies luck and intellect, which he doesn’t really feel like he can do. He’s not smart, right? He’s never done well in school. But he has really high emotional intelligence, and he’s got street smarts no 13 year old has any business having, and he eventually comes to realize that he is lucky. He’s very lucky. He’s got good friends who love him and who he loves, a strong team who can conquer the world, the universe, even a demon with the strength of a green sun, and when John comes to appreciate consequences and ramifications of their actions, he would be better able to understand how to use his powers to become the luckiest little shit in the universe, and could look death in the face with confidence because he understands, now, he’s realized some things, some the easy way and some lessons were painfully hard, but he’s confident in what he’s doing and he’s got his friends at his back.

Jade Strider, I hate to say it, but I think she would end up a very meek individual. Very, very hypervigilant, aware of everyone’s mood around her and this HUGE people pleaser, because as far as she’s concerned “not actively pleased” might as well be utterly synonymous to “actively displeased.” Life is uncertain to her, she’s very diligent about reading the moods of others and making them happy. Everyone loves her and think she’s just absolutely the best, she’s always ready to listen, always eager to cheer her friends up when they��re feeling down, doesn’t say jack SHIT about herself. If people ask she straight up lies. She does NOT talk about her own problems, even worse than in canon. She is happy go lucky and pleasant to be around, see? She’s doing great. Don’t worry about her! Oh do you need to talk about something? She’s got hair-trigger reflexes and does NOT react well to sudden loud noises or jumpscares. She’s very forgiving, because it’s only natural that sometimes her friends will hurt her feelings, right? That’s what love looks like. Some things just can’t be prevented, so why bother. Lotta learned helplessness kinda shit going down. Very reactive to positive feedback and physical affection (as long as she sees it coming) but has no idea how to go about asking for it. She’s very popular at her school for being pretty and cool and badass and friendly all tied up into one but her friendships are very shallow with her school friends, because if she cannot open up about herself, what room is there for emotional intimacy? As a Witch of Time, her main thing that needs to happen is she needs to get fed up. She needs to get pissed off. She doesn’t deserve this shit! She’s thirteen! She doesn’t deserve a parent who didn’t love her, she doesn’t deserve to have the weight of the timeline on her shoulders, she doesn’t deserve to see her own corpse over and over and fucking OVER again! This isn’t fair, this isn’t right, she doesn’t FUCKING want this, fuck her Bro fuck the Game fuck keeping quiet she’s a KID and she’s HURTING and she will be fucking UPSET about it! And then she’s gotta let John, and Rose, and Dave hold her and tell her she’s right, she’s so right, she is absolutely entitled to her anger, she’s allowed to feel angry about this, she’s gonna be okay though, they’re there, they love her and they’re not gonna let anyone hurt her ever again, she’s allowed to feel hellfire down deep to her bones but then, most importantly, she needs to let her friends help her, she needs to trust them, and learn how trusting works, learn what love looks like and how all her little broken pieces fit back together. And no, she’s never gonna fully recover from that. She knows she’s gonna be a compulsive liar down to her dying day and she’s never going to be able to trust openly like some people do, but she’s got people who love her and who she loves dearly, and she’s going to be okay, and every day it gets a little easier. Some days are bad, yeah, some days she’s angry over stuff she thought she got over years ago, but at the end of the Game, after all has been ripped asunder and they’ve moved into their new lives on Earth C, she is allowed to recover and to rest and sure it’s not always easy, but she’s always trying, and things are better now.

#Rose Lalonde #John Egbert #Dave Strider #Jade Harley #Rose Egbert #Dave Harley #John Lalonde #Jade Strider #answers #Homestuck #John #Jade #Dave #kidswap #Homestuck meta #analysis #Homestuck analysis

129 notes · View notes

thefemalecampaign-blog · 7 years

Text

Meet a Sweet Savage

Meet A Sweet Savage

We were able to interview a new entrepreneur in the clothing industry by the name of Ashley Tioni. She is currently the Owner of Rose and Raja, which is a brand targeted primarily to women. We wanted to get to know her a bit more and wanted you guys to as well.

“I am 19 years old born and raised in Metro Detroit. I have always had a creative mindset, expressing myself through songwriting, poetry, digital content creation and drawing. I grew up an introvert and stayed to myself most of the time either reading or writing. It wasn't until I observed that the extroverts at my school and church were the ones making a name for themselves, getting the biggest roles in plays or simply getting the most attention. So at around 13, I made up in my mind to push myself outside of my comfort zone and start sharing my work, sharing my talents so I can have the recognition that I felt I deserved. Though I have failed during some of my efforts to gain attention and build a reputation for myself, I definitely learned a lot which has shaped me into the young woman that I am today.”

Everyone has some type of story of when they started their business venture and why. Some stories may be similar, but for Ashley it started based off of a strong passion for owning something of her own:

“My business is Rose and Raja; a clothing brand that currently features tees and crop tops for the summer. Our aim for anyone who follows us or reps our clothes is to Live Young, Wild & Free. Meaning that we want our customers to aspire to live in a way where they have the confidence to be daring and bold enough to follow their dreams, work hard towards their goals and have financial freedom to do what they want whenever they want.

I started Rose and Raja May 2017 after coming home from college for the summer. Rose and Raja was a passion project initiated out of boredom. All my friends were working their summer jobs, doing research programs, internships and studying abroad and I was at home doing NOTHING. I've always been interested in fashion and I always had a passion to own my own business. With so much free time on my hands I figured this would be a great time to start.”

A lot of businesswoman we’ve interviewed told us that their family and friends were the ones who influenced them to own their own business. Now for Ashley, her influence remains the same as everyone else, but instead she wants to prove her influence completely wrong:

“My influence to start this company was my mother. Before moving in with my dad at 15 I left my mothers abusive household. I had extreme punishments from running up and down stairs 100s of times, standing in the garage for hours at a time in the dark, getting hit with a whip, wooden club and belt buckles, getting my hair cut and many other punishments that I took in for years. Also dealing with the threats to put me in a girls home or telling me how ditsy or stupid I was.

All moments in my mom’s house weren't negative, but it sure did entice me to prove her wrong. We rarely spoke about dreams, and I knew I wanted to do something, anything that would make her proud. We don't talk much now, but one day I plan for her to see me running my company, doing great things that she never thought I could do. She won't have to say it, but I know she'll be proud of her "ditsy" daughter.”

Passions are one of many pieces that drives a business to continue to grow and be successful. Like any visionary, Ashley wants to create content that she hopes inspires others to do the same.

“My passion is to create and inspire others to do the same. I have always found pleasure in making something and sharing it with others. In high school I would make a poem everyday and share it with all my friends on Kik. It meant the world to me when I had people tell me "I needed this" or "This really made my day". Knowing that the things I create can cause positive feelings towards someone else is a beautiful feeling and only makes me want to make more and more.”

Behind every name is an even broader message. This also translates into the type of clothing you sell, etc.

“Roses symbolize love and respect. Raja means radiance. I like to think of them together as a healthy balance of sweet and strong. I love using the term Sweet Savage because I feel that it fits with what Rose and Raja stands for. You can be kind and considerate while also being driven and ambitious. I feel that this is something I have been trying to maintain and I feel that there are others who want to do the same.”

With any brand that is targeted primarily for women, the men want to rep the brand a little bit too. So when we asked Ashley about making the brand unisex, this is what she told us:

“Rose and Raja is targeted mainly for women, but we have a lil’ something for the men who want to rep the Rose and Raja brand.”

As a part of being an entrepreneur, one should strive to leave a mark on the work or make some type of change. That should always be the main goal, so we asked Ashley what she hopes to do to impact the world:

“I plan to leave my mark by simply being myself and being as genuine as I can. I feel like there are a lot of people pleasers in the world who are trying to cater to trends, their friends and families or what society says is "cool". I love me and to leave any mark you must be original and unique. I know I was created for a purpose, but that purpose cannot be fulfilled if I am trying to be like someone else. I am working hard to do what I believe God has sent me here to do, and if I accomplish what I can, I am positive that my mark will be left and remembered.”

We females do run this world, no matter what anybody says. As time goes on, so many females are rising up and becoming entrepreneurs just like Ashley has. We are dominating in everything that we do.

“Being a female entrepreneur is fun! People are impressed because so many men are dominating the workplace and to see women step up, makes other women feel empowered. I love meeting other girl bosses because we come up with great ideas and we have style that men cannot compete with! It just makes me feel good to simply talk with other young women about their brands, helping each other out and just growing bigger and better. To be apart of that is amazing and I am so glad that I have decided to become a female entrepreneur.”

Rose and Raja is a brand that sells graphic tees and crops, many of their products have sayings on them. We wanted to figure out the inspiration and story behind why she chose a lot of what she’s selling:

“I used to get in trouble for being terribly honest. One time at church this older guy complimented my hair and said he wished he had long hair like mine. I told him he could get long hair...if he used Bosley. My mom snatched me so quick and told me I hurt his feelings, but I thought I was offering a solution to his problem. He looked so sad once I told him that, so I decided from that point on to sugarcoat the truth so I wouldn't hurt people's feelings.

I say all that because I noticed that as I got older I wouldn't be direct or honest with people, and that bothered me. I got so used to holding in what I really felt that I felt uncomfortable being bold and direct. So when I made the Issa Animal Introductory Collection for Rose and Raja I took that as an opportunity to be bold, to say what people may be thinking but would never say out loud. My first design was "Beware of Kitty" and once I finished that one, the rest just poured out.”

The future should be something any entrepreneur should constantly think about because growth is key. You don’t ever want to be the same person or brand you were a year ago. Grow, get out and do more research, but most importantly plan wisely. In ten years, Rose and Raja plans to:

“...travel the world, with signature pieces and an identity that is unmatched by other streetwear designers. I see storefronts, loyal customers, features in magazines, a strong team fueling the Rose and Raja image. I see real tigers wearing real roses, working with influencers I've idolized for years, having memorable events and so much more. Overall I see major growth, and we grow more and more each day, so in 10 years I can only imagine where we'll be.

As of now I'm planning to get as many eyeballs as I can on the Rose and Raja brand. This time next year I plan to have a few fashion shows under my belt as well as introduce our newest collection. There is so much work that needs to be done, but we can take the heat. I am so excited for what the future has to offer and to continue growing Rose and Raja.”

From one brand to another, we wish you nothing but the best. You are new and fresh in the clothing industry and we hope that you are/continue to soak up as much knowledge as you can. Timing is EVERYTHING. Never rush greatness. There will be doubters, but don’t let that detour you from what you want and dream to do. Again good luck and have fun.

Follow her and RAR on social media:

www.roseandraja.com

IG and FB:

@roseandraja

Her personal social media:

IG- @ashleytioni

#beyourownboss motivation entrepreneur girlboss

4 notes · View notes

onceuponamirror · 7 years

Text

eggshelling

a/n: oh my god why am i doing this, please help someone set me free from this teen soap!!!

set during 1x02; this is kind of an exercise for me to work through the themes of expectation riverdale explores, some of my headcanons for the characters’ relationships/pasts/thoughts via Jughead, who’s not as objective as he thinks himself.

i’ve been doing a lot of reading on ace representation lately and i’ve been wrestling with the fact that i do really like bughead (and frankly have since i was a kid) but it is also inherently erasure now. then i read this article (An Asexual’s Defense of Jughead’s Kissing Betty) and felt that it made only good points, so i went forward with this writing. jughead can still be ace and love/be in a relationship with betty.

implied pining, ace jughead.

It was supposed to work. It was girl meets boy. He’d been forced to put on enough rom-coms at the Twilight by said girl for him to know about the expected subtext. In a way that only Betty Cooper can be presumptuous without condescension, Jughead always knew that she planned on dating Archie.

Literally, he thought, watching Betty flee the lunch table. As in, it was part of a plan, subconscious or not, towards perfecting the image. Good grades, good extra curriculars, good boyfriend. It made sense, after all. She expected to date Archie, and a part of Archie probably expected to date her too.

Archie twisted after her, calling her name, but it was half-hearted at best. Still, he followed after her, but now beyond Jughead’s earshot. They spoke for a moment, a quick conversation of unfiltered teenage anguish he was sure, before Betty practically sprinted away. Jughead raised his eyebrows and dipped his head back down to his fries, but for perhaps the first time, his appetite failed him.

Poor Betty. He couldn’t hear them, but could gather what happened enough based on body language. Archie had always been a quick study anyway.

The night before at Pop’s flickered into his thoughts. Archie had come in looking for Betty, sat down, seemed tense and upset; that conversation they’d had about Jason’s death—

"Seventeen years old and how will he be remembered?”

—Jughead shuffled his fries around with his finger, looking for one that would strike his fancy. He wasn’t sure when he’d get his next meal, so he forced himself through a couple, but his stomach was still swirling, thinking about Archie and Betty.

Their relationship must’ve finally snapped. Based on his earlier observations in combination with the ominous conversation he’d had with his old friend, he wagered that Betty had probably put her heart on the line and Archie had turned her down.

Archie wasn’t known for his introspection; he’d coasted well enough through life that it had never occurred to him to question it, which is why, last night, Jughead had been surprised by the tremor in his former friend’s voice---

“Was he doing everything he was supposed to do? Everything he wanted? I mean, did he even know what that was?”

---Hindsight is 20/20, and watching Betty retreat up the hill towards the main building, he couldn’t help but think something about Jason Blossom’s murder has opened up more than parents installing an earlier curfew. Death is a reflecting pool, and all that.

Archie, who had become a chiseled study of Americana, was already Jason’s heir apparent, on the very same path of all golden boys---but something about their conversation gave Jughead the suspicion Archie was gathering the courage to refuse a throne.

Betty Cooper was the first casualty of that. Archie’s an idiot, of course, Jughead thought with an eye roll. But that was nothing new; only Archie Andrews would see Betty as an obligation.

Still, Jughead was glad of it, if he was being honest with himself. Jughead was never one for authority, and destiny was no different. Something about the idea that Betty and Archie should be together just because they were best friends always sat wrong with him.

He remembered lying awake, the floorboards creaking below him as he pretended not to be able to hear his father’s hushed conversations with the thuggish men who only came in the night.

He remembered staring at the stick-on stars that Betty had forced him to put up after he mentioned he liked sleeping under the stars (irony was certainly not a fickle friend) and thinking about the look on her face when she’d seen Archie flirting with Tina Patel.

He remembered thinking even then that Archie didn’t deserve her.

Still, despite all his riot acts, Jughead had long accepted that one day, fate would step in and bring Betty and Archie together. One day, he’d turn around and be a third wheel and frankly, he’d rather be prepared for it.

So on those long nights where he’d watch shadows move across the wall, he did his best to not think of Betty Cooper.

It was oddly easier said than done. Most people didn’t interest him—he’d certainly never understood Archie’s preoccupation with chasing girls—but Betty was...different.

At first, their relationship was only tangential to the fact that they were both friends of Archie. And Jughead had actually resented her for it, expecting her to come between them. He’d glare at the back of her, roll his eyes at everything she said, give her firmly monosyllabic answers to her prodding questions---

(Okay, that part may not have changed)

---but then the summer when they were eight happened, the summer that Archie signed up for pee-wee football and disappeared into sports. Jughead had seen it coming---Archie was a people-pleaser, and football pleased everyone in Riverdale---but it still stung a bit. Maybe because it was the first time he admitted to himself he wasn’t sure what it was he had in common with his best friend.

Jughead spent the first few weeks of summer lying under the tree of his backyard reading comics. His parents were still on good terms then, even though his dad had taken on some extra work after his sister was born and hadn’t been around as much.

Hot Dog had started barking from inside the house, which usually meant that someone had rung the doorbell. He’d hoped it wasn’t one of his dad’s new friends---they were kind of shady---but he knew Archie was at football practice so he returned his attention back to his comic. And then---

“Jughead! Your friend is here to see you!” His mom called from the back porch; she opened up the screen door and little Betty Cooper skipped out.

“What are you doing here?” He’d asked, eyes narrowed.

“Do you wanna go to the water park? I’m allowed to bring a friend.”

He’d gaped at her. “Why are you asking me? Why don’t you wait for Archie to get out of practice?”

She’d shot him a look that clearly said she thought he was messing with her. “Because I wanna go with you.”

It was the first moment that Jughead had realized that Betty wasn’t the enemy, but his friend too. She was giving and thoughtful and understood things that Archie didn’t. They spent that summer making up mysteries to solve, watching old movies, and drinking lemonade. It was pure and innocent, and sometimes a lot more fun than he ever had with Archie.

She stood up for him when Reggie Mantle started calling him Jughead---a spiteful play on the old family business of blowing glass maple syrup jugs, which his father had run into the ground not long after Jughead had been born---and suggested he take the name in stride.

“It’s like how I go by Betty,” she’d said, hand on his shoulder. “Making it mine.” What she didn’t say was, how I rebel against my mother, but they were a little too young for that kind of self-awareness.

Then they got older and Jughead, ever the observer, began to see the way Archie effected Betty. It put a sour taste in his mouth; he was going to become a third wheel. Then when his dad got fired by Archie’s father, things got bad at home.

Archie got more into football. Betty started spending summers away at internships. Sleeping under glow-in-the-dark stars turned into occasional nights outside. Occasional nights became crashing at the Twilight. Crashing became living. Living became surviving.

Jughead exhaled, closing his eyes, trying to force himself to be present. When he opened his eyes, he saw Betty at the crest of the hill, watching the scene below her. She shifted, and for a fraction of a moment, he thought she was looking at him, alone on his bench.

He frowned and forced himself to look away. Betty always was able to see right through him, and a special knack for doing it especially when he didn’t want her to.

Maybe he should reach out. But he hadn’t spoken to her in months, not since the night he left home, eggshelling around the broken glass of his father’s anger. Jughead figured it was better that way; the Jones were already a disgraced founding family, and he didn’t need more scrutiny. He especially didn’t want the pity.

He thought of all the emails Betty had sent that summer that had gone unanswered, and felt a sting at his side; guilt, maybe, or empathy. Archie’s selfishness had taken both him and Betty as casualties, but for him, it had only cemented his opinion that one should just look out for themselves and not bother with anything else.

He wondered what it would do to Betty. Kind, thoughtful, knowing Betty. Betty who always was a sacrificial kind of sweet. Betty, who was the light that made shadows.

Still grimacing, he dumped the rest of his fries into the sad excuse for a tupperware container he’d been lugging around. Waste not, want not.

He tried to throw his thoughts back to the murder---Archie was now in a suspicious conversation with Principal Weatherbee, and he should be paying attention, but his thoughts remained with Betty.

He hoped he was right about her loving the idea of Archie more than anything, and he told himself that it was because she deserved something with more meaning. She was always wrapped up in what other people asked of her that Jughead isn’t sure she’d ever asked herself what she actually wanted.

Then again, that wasn’t a question he was interested in asking to himself, so maybe he shouldn’t judge.

Suddenly annoyed with himself and deciding he wasn’t going to get any more ground in on the novel today, he got up, gathered his things, and slipped away behind the scenes. The only thing you’re good at.

#bughead #riverdale #jughead jones #riverdale ff #bughead ff #fics #seriously what the hell guys i'm falling into a hole over this dumb show #someone come shake me out of it #as the godfather of indie cinema quentin tarantino likes to say—#i love this little emo baby #i debated posting this though #idk maybe i'll take it down

19 notes · View notes

oceangl1tter · 5 years

Text

sum thoughts on dim thoughts,,

i always hit a point of the night after a mind-draining day in which i reconsider several points of my lifetrack:

that I would be infinitely attracted to the arts and creating rather than falling asleep in a lecture hall of 400 to the lovely sounds of numbers being raked with chalk. i'm falling behind in one and falling asleep in the other. in another timeline i apply to artschool instead of misleading myself with profits of a CS degree; in another timeline maybe my technique is better and i've finally given all my OCs the descriptions they deserve. i thought this would be a good compromise though it would be a lie to say that both my desires can be achieved without one suffering. maybe down the road when i'm 50 i'll drop everything and go back to my roots of making stick figure heroines fight off dragons to save the (middle-aged?) princess. sappy phiction.

i mean, do i value the concept of filial obligations and my family's opinions enough to stave off internal grievances? or do i just place my family as the obstacle to these wants when really it could just be my personal fear of committing to what i sincerely enjoy, failing because i can't do it and i don't know how, fears i verbalize quite often even without full commitment, and affirming what i was told would happen? and not being able to return what had been done for me? do i even owe them anything? does this keep them up at night too? does what had been done for me outweigh what had been done to me?

i do not think i will ever come out to my mother, if anything she'd probably know already by the third thanksgiving when i don't bring back a boyfriend to introduce. what i do know is that this is something that i will have to confront soon. maybe 4+ years ago it was a problem for future amanda to take care of, but now the future is here and present amanda cannot postpone it anymore. something has to radically change, in appearance or attitude. something has to compensate. i will have to be exceptional if i want to be accepted. i tell her that kai has left his cap and mom replies that cousin doesn't let her sons wear anything pink. i think of kai in our living room with a playful grin smothered on his face, pink baseball cap on that he proudly wears and later leaves on my couch. i also think of jay, the first child, strong-headed older brother who tells him that he can't wear that because it's not for boys. i buy $8 cvs balloons for them both. mom says on the phone that she's heard on the radio that the medication makes you think like a man, a euphemism i can only slightly catch in cantonese. i can't remember a time in which not feeling sad meant suddenly having men-specific thoughts, i'm assuming ones related to desire, and I should argue that it's the exact opposite! didn't you know? sad is basically spelled gay backwards. there are an astounding amount of cases of The Gays always being either a disaster, depressed, or romantically-delusional (or all of the above). instead, if we could reverse these negative feelings from people and straighten them out maybe we could rid of these perverse people from an otherwise perfectly fine and happy, happy, straight world!!!!

my sister's fortune-reading co-worker reads the dynamic between us three. as the first, my first sister is restrained and restricted because of responsibilities as the oldest, acting as the closest, dangerously co-dependent bind to the family, and will be dissatisfied until she is old. as the youngest, i have the most space to roam free and change, as she shoulders the weight. my 2nd sister, being the middle child, has the choice to lean towards the youngest or oldest depending on the situation. i'm not sure if she really did a personal reading but she's not wrong. if we were all to write a personal account about our family, you would think you'd be reading about different parents. in our house there are gaps in all of the photographs. too many years have been blurred together and i know i need to start documenting before it's too late and we've gone too far in burying it all.

our insecurities may just be how we judge others. if i judge others this way, then i must expect that others would view me this way as well. then it turns into this cycle of obsessively alienating ourselves amongst people that are really no different from us. i feel like i'm getting into the "we're only one race—the human race" bullshit but we're all in glass rooms, the door's bloody open but we don't step out for once. maybe that's why poop and farting jokes are universally funny. it's a shared experience and yet we hide it? don't hide, shit in public is what i'm trying to say. (not actually) where was i going with this? a point of the lifetrack: how do i reconcile the parts of myself i've scattered to different people? is it necessary? or can i just keep shapeshifting until i realize i can't bounce with the boys AND be a lonely cat lady? though if i do pull these fragments together and succeed at it, how many people would i lose? i was a people pleaser so much so that i'd rather live for others than live alone at home. i'm a goddamn DIMSUM LOBSTER!! IN THOSE SEA TANKS!!! sea tanks seem like an oxymoron.

SALUTATIONS EARTH-SPECIMEN. I AM PICKLEHEAD & THIS IS MY SPACE.://

My first scrawls were when I was 10 years-old in a yellow notebook I titled,”The Book of Knowledge (Part 1)”. Little did I know at that time, my mind at age 10 definitely did not hold all of the possible corners of the universe, but the Book of Knowledge (Part 1), provided a gateway for me to possess writing superpowers to explore and engage in the unknown. Now five years later, I enjoy drawing, playing video games, and jamming to music while orbiting around Earth. The book of Knowledge (Part 2) is also in the making.

Alien Adventures first manifested through 15 years of awkwardly worded sentences from my awkwardly constructed thoughts and has now been compressed in this blog with a million presses of the Backspace button. Designed to capture my (2016) year-long writing endeavors, Alien Adventures holds pieces of my version of the universe and hopefully resonates with some shards of yours.

May '16: schoolbl0g: parting the passion sea://

Perhaps these were just “Asian Mom” things but as a child I was enrolled in almost everything I did NOT want to be enrolled in. From tapdancing to ballet to hiphop, my mother did not realize that my joints just could not seem to coordinate together..regardless of which music was playing. It’s also worth mentioning that she would enroll me to the less expensive lower-level classes, meaning that I was the top of the pack…being almost 3 years older than the other toddlers in their tutus. Years after those dance lessons it’s safe for me to say that I sincerely cannot touch my toes, cannot move my hips in rhythmic manner, nor pitter patter with my feet, but I came to the realization that: Art has never come easy. Especially when you’re five years-old plopped in front of a wall (that’s supposed to the canvas) trying to mix green crayola and black crayola to somehow get yellow. Expression through crayola was just as complicated as expression through the movement of the body and although coloring never became my forte (and neither did dance) art morphed into a love-hate relationship full of my crayon tears. I wasn’t that great at it, given that my wall-canvas was scribbled with green and black smears,but I imagined. And what I imagined I wanted to draw-and unfortunately what I drew was not what I imagined. So I continued.

If I can picture it in my head, how could it be so hard to translate it onto paper?

#mystuff

0 notes

randicynamon · 6 years

Photo

Security Answer.

What’s your mother’s maiden name? The make of your first car? The city you were born in? These are all typical security questions you’ll come across when setting up a new account. These questions are asked as a two-point authorization to ensure that no one tries to hack your account; or if you’re like me and forgot your password for the umpteenth time! Either way the questions remain the same but there’s one I’m particularly fond of. “What was the name of your first pet?” I always find a little joy and nostalgia when typing my answer: Blush.

Growing up as my mother’s only child I longed for companionship, but I knew there was a very slim chance of her having another child, due to the simple fact that I was her miracle baby. Before she had me the doctors told her she couldn’t have children because of scarring in her uterus, at the hands of an old fashioned copper wire IUD; sort of the like the Mirena complications we see today. So when I came along you could imagine her surprise, and after 23 hours of labor I doubt she wanted to go through that again. At that point we settled on a puppy and I couldn’t be more excited. One day my grandpa took me to go “look” at puppies, or at least that’s what he told my parents. When we got to the breeder’s house there were these two majestic Akita’s one Japanese and one American, looking on as their puppies were being sold to a number of families. As I approached the litter there was one that immediately stood out to me. She was the smallest one and she was hiding under the shed, afraid of what was to come. When I said “that one!” my grandfather looked at me confused and said “Are you sure?” With a confident nod he paid the owners and we were off.

Why the name Blush? I’m glad you asked!… I was painfully shy as a kid so when I saw this scared little puppy I saw something familiar and I thought maybe we could be scared together. I didn’t want to name her “shy” or “timid” so I thought Blush! It was unique and always warranted questions from the curious. As time went on our bond grew stronger. She was profoundly loyal, fiercely protective, and possessed an heir of royalty. She also grew really quickly and by the time she was 6 months old she was fully grown and pushing 100lbs. We had a bond that transcended words and time. She was so in tune with me and would lay her big head in my lap if I was sad or tackle me to the ground and shower me with love; whatever I needed at the time. When she had puppies she dragged me over to meet them and I was the only one allowed to touch them for a long time. We would play all day and I would talk to her like a person, telling her all of my fears, my dreams and my plans. One of my favorite past times was climbing our massive lychee tree and I would just lay in the branches thinking and praying for hours as the breeze rustled through the leaves. Blush would lay at the foot of the tree like the guardian of my thoughts.

Today I watched the movie “Hachi” on Netflix p.s. do not watch this movie if you are PMS-ing or feeling particularly emotional, I cried like a baby! Nonetheless it reminded me of the relationship I shared with Blush but it also reminded me of the abrupt way our relationship ended. Long story short my father decided to give her to the pound because he couldn’t afford her anymore and this happened while at was at school and without my knowledge. So when I got home asking where she was I felt devasted and betrayed. I never knew what became of her and today almost 15 years later I find myself wondering if she knew that I loved her. The thought of her sitting in the animal shelter wondering what she did wrong or why I didn’t want her anymore truly bothered me. She was fierce, smart, loyal, compassionate, independent and a little defiant at times. She was not a people pleaser and she stood tall and majestic all of the time. I saw so much of who I wanted to be in her character. As tears fell down my face I heard God say “you are too.” You are strong and compassionate and loyal and you’ve done nothing for people to discard you as they have over the years. And just like that I began to feel secure in who I am. God can use anything; even a childhood pet to help you realize who you are. God made no mistake in creating me, He was intentional about it. He also made no mistake in letting me and Blush cross paths because he knew that 15 years later there was a lesson that I needed to learn from her. The lesson is that you are worth having and keeping. Everyone that saw Blush thought she was too small and timid so they overlooked her and she was one of the last in the litter. She turned out to be the biggest blessing and just as I saw greatness in her, God saw greatness in me. No one has the right to discard, discredit or misuse you because your character doesn’t warrant that. Not even you have the right to discard yourself and treat yourself as if you aren’t God’s masterpiece. People may not see your worth, or they may see it and still treat you like you’re average but that bears no truth on what you actually deserve. Be strong, be fierce, be loyal, be compassionate, be smart, stand tall and walk with a stride of majesty. Be secure in how God created you.

#self love #selfesteem #royalty #security #insecurity #mustlovedogs

0 notes