#and joel and skizz are here too!!!!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dredgesnails · 11 days

Text

stardew valley au where joel and skizz are new residents to pelican town (hermit town?). joel just inherited a large farm from his late grandfather and skizz is moving in with his old friend after reconnecting with him and wanting a fresh start. and the townspeople are like, kinda weird.

bdubs is fine enough - he’s a sweet man with a fun personality and he’s the local builder, but it’s almost frightening how fast he constructs new buildings when joel needs them. pearl, their resident postmaster, is also pretty normal other than the fact that skizz never seems to be awake early enough to catch her delivering mail. scar is lovely but he’s never available when joel wants another chicken. the mayor, xisuma, is pleasant too, if a little eccentric at times, but he doesn’t really seem to do much in town.

for the most part, skizz is settling in well. he’s moved in with impulse, who runs the local blacksmith in town, and he gets along well with most of the local townspeople. he’s started spending his evenings at the local saloon listening to ren regale the patrons with fantastical tales while he and stress serve up food and drinks, and he finds himself growing close with cleo, the local sculptor. he even gets a new wardrobe from hypno free of charge, and sometimes helps cub out with his totally scientific studies and creations.

skizz also joins forces with beef (who helps to supply the local general store that xb and keralis run) in terrorising the local manager of the corporate chain grocery store that no one likes. doc is a terrible manager but would make a fun supervillain (according to joe hills, the bookseller who appears once in a blue moon but seems to know doc more than anyone in town).

joel, on the other hand, seems to only be interacting with the strangest residents in town. he discovers the adventurer’s guild after only a couple weeks, and is only somewhat irritated by iskall’s refusal to pronounce his name correctly. false promises to give him prizes if he can kill enough monsters, which is not something joel had expected to be doing when he pictured farm life, but here he is. he stumbles upon a travelling cart one day, and the man inside insists he’s a knight from a faraway land, that he risked his life to make it all the way here to sell his wares. it’s all stuff joel can get cheaper elsewhere.

he’s pretty sure the local doctor has no real medical training, but then he passes out while fighting monsters and he wakes up completely fine, so zedaph probably knows what he’s doing. maybe. when joel isn’t passing out he sometimes makes trips to the library-slash-museum, which is probably almost completely empty because mumbo, who begs joel for anything to display, looks like he’s never fought a duggie in his life. eventually mumbo gives joel a key to the sewers, which are way cooler than they have any right to be, and that’s where he finds jevin’s secret sewer shop. jevin lives in town. he just also has a shop hidden underground. joel has stopped asking questions by now.

and then there are the three who live by the beach. etho spends most of his time tinkering around the fishing hut or hovering around bdubs, but sometimes he drives the bus to the desert. only sometimes. there might be something under his mask. no one knows for sure. gem runs the fish shop most days and she claims she’s a sailor, but joel has never seen a single working boat around despite all the ocean. she can also hold her breath underwater for an uncannily long amount of time, like, scarily so, and will sometimes disappear for a few days and return with an abundance of treasures. joel has never seen her leave by boat. grian fishes a lot and runs the shop when gem can’t, and he sometimes talks as though the sea can speak to him. skizz has caught him staring into space for extended periods of time. one time he waded into the water and just stood there, head down, muttering to himself.

apparently there used to be a lighthouse but “it’s gone now”. gem says if they ask bdubs nicely enough maybe they can build another one, but she and grian are banned from build requests after the last incident with their pet snails (joel has never seen the snails, but scar complains about them enough to convince him they’re real).

there also might be some kind of wizard who lives in the creepy tower in the woods. skizz has heard he’s the one who helps maintain the power in the valley, and joel’s convinced he hallucinated seeing him once until he recieves a letter from the wizard himself, and visits him only to find that the strange fire-creature he saw that one time was, in fact, tango, who is human for the most part, he just sets himself on fire sometimes.

873 notes · View notes

plumadot · 3 months

Note

Imagine if Jimmy has his mareep and he's just going around the world trying to have a good time and collect his badges. Gym leaders could be Joel, Gem, Impulse, Etho, Cleo, Bdubs, Bigb and Tango. Skizz, Mumbo, Lizzie are all people he meets along the way. Rivals? Friends? Both!! He becomes really good friends with Tango too.

Eventually, about a third of the way through, he meets Scott, who always refuses to battle him but gives him really good pointers (with a good amount of teasing) and is now is his go to person for tips. He asks for a Pokemon battle every time, but Scott refuses every single time.

Scar is an elusive traveller Jimmy meets in just about every corner of the world doing miscellaneous things. Jimmy doesn't think Scar is much of a Pokemon battle guy because he seems to be doing anything but battling, but then he sees Scar's primary Pokemon (not sure what) and is absolutely dumbfounded.

(1/3)

hi i loved reading all of your big brain thoughts ahhhhh it made me think a lot about gym leaders and what types would suit them hmmmmm i wasn't sure how to say thank you for sharing so here's a big man with tiny mons for you :D oh also the poliwag is nicknamed judge judy and executioner

#ask #plume art #jimmy solidarity #traffic smp

438 notes · View notes

theminecraftbee · 3 months

Text

okay so. hear me out. but. au concept--

joel is one of many people affected by a Vanishing. its a phenomenon sweeping the country--people simply not showing up for work, school, life one day, as though they've vanished from the face of the earth. it's almost possible to mistake for normal missing persons cases, if it weren't for the way a few of the higher-profile Vanishings have happened to people who shouldn't have been able to vanish at all, let alone in a way that wouldn't be noticed until too late. look at joel's hometown. the people monitoring the dam were supposed to be redundant, and yet--

anyway. not like he cares or anything, except for the fact this stupid disaster or whatever has left him without anywhere to live or anyone to live with, and he still has a year of high school left, so he can't just do whatever he wants. luckily there's this school in a town called new hermiton that agreed to give him a scholarship to finish his education in the name of recovery and solidarity or whatever, and it's kind of a shwankier school than he'd normally go for, but it's free and, more importantly, they're willing to pay for his lodging, and he can't really turn that down. and it's not like he has a choice but to upend his entire life now. so packing what few of his belongings survived into a bag and getting on a train and moving across the country to a new school it is, he guesses.

(he's been having nightmares that inexplicably feature swarms of blue butterflies. last time he checked, lakes don't have butterflies in them. although maybe it's a metaphor or something, on account of the butterflies saying stupid stuff about how people who are remembered can't disappear, and even a false world cannot be erased if it's watched over, and how fate depends on him holding people in his heart. thanks for saying the same stupid shitty platitudes his social worker told him, just more cryptically, butterflies. real cool.)

new hermiton, it turns out, is a small city. while new hermiton academy is a newer school, much of the city is older. he's moved into a nice enough flat in an older apartment building. he has another cryptic butterfly dream. he thinks he remembers someone trying to urgently warn him of something, but it's all... shaky. that morning, he goes to the school for the first time. he's greeted by a fellow transfer student, skizzleman, although apparently he already knows some of the other folks in town, and transferred here so he could stay with them. but it's at least someone else in a similar enough situation to joel, especially since joel can just tell by the way people are looking at him that skizz didn't have much of a choice but to be here, either, and best friends with impulse or not, he's on his own too.

so. a friend. maybe this school won't be that bad, even if joel keeps having nightmares, and even if the weather here is weirdly cold for july, and even if his new homeroom professor keeps on looking at him really weirdly. (aren't professors supposed to be better about stupid rumors anyway? what's that mr. hills's deal?)

and then, two days later, he waves skizz off at the end of the school day, and gets skizz's friend, impulse, at his door, desperate to hear that skizz had just come to stay the night in joel's shitty lonely apartment, because otherwise it looks like--come on man. joel's already having a shit time. the universe deciding to go after his one existing friend too? he promises impulse to help investigate that night, in the vain hope that Skizz isn't one of the Vanished. joel gets a splitting migraine trying to follow their path back, though, and they have to stop for the night.

skizz is reported missing the next morning. joel resigns himself to cutting himself off from the people around him, as per usual. then, strangely, mr. hills corners him as he goes home.

"you'll need this," he says, and shoves what feels like a cheap butterfly knife into joel's hands. "uh, remember, trust your heart! you'll know how to use it."

"what," joel says. "hold on. you're supposed to be a teacher. why are you giving me this. i know for a fact my file says i have like, ptsd or whatever, which is stupid, but you definitely aren't supposed to be giving me a knife, you weirdo?"

"you'll know how to use it," joe hills says again. "goodbye! believe in yourself!"

mr. hills sprints behind a building before he has to explain anything else. joel is left standing on the sidewalk holding a knife, staring after him.

so. that's weird as hell. joel shivers in the cold and continues on his way home. the butterfly knife feels heavy in his pockets. he should probably report that guy to his social worker or something, but actually talking to his social worker feels like conceding defeat. joel can take care of himself. he can prove he can take care of himself. just watch him. step one: go out to get ramen because he forgot to buy any food for his apartment.

he sees impulse putting up signs as he eats. impulse looks miserable. joel thinks about how skizz, just in the short time he'd known him, had sort of unintentionally given away that he felt isolated after his mother Vanished. that impulse was a great friend, but impulse didn't understand what it was like. he never really SAID as much, but--

it's not fair to impulse, for that to be the last thing impulse remembered of what was apparently a friend since childhood. and joel doesn't care about any of these guys, but he can still pay his check and go out and help impulse go looking. he's no good at comforting people and doesn't know this guy, but joel had been alone too, sitting on the roof and crying, when the helicopters came.

except when they go back to the path by the school, joel's head starts to hurt again.

he looks up and there's a butterfly.

"hey, impulse, are butterflies common here?" he asks, a little desperately.

"i mean, not really, why?" impulse says.

"uh," joel says, and gestures. the two of them stare as the strange yellow butterfly circles in place.

"okay, so that is kind of weird," impulse admits.

"right?" joel says. "the only way it would be weirder is if it were blue." impulse gives him a look. joel does not explain.

it starts to fly away.

"we should follow it," impulse says, his voice getting a little dull. "yeah. we should follow it."

"what? no! no we should not follow the haunted butterfly, are you nuts?" joel says, but it's a bit too late. (maybe this is what the knife is for: stabbing impulse. it would be an effective method of stopping him!) he chases impulse down, down to the river, where yellow butterflies are swarming. impulse, as though possessed, simply steps into the swarm and falls through them to the water.

joel's, uh, freaking out more than a little bit? he'll admit he's freaking out. he dives forward to try to grab him, only to realize that he doesn't see impulse anywhere.

a single blue butterfly lands on joel's shoulder. "do you hold his heart next to yours?"

"i'm going insane," joel says.

"no heart is meant to be completely alone. do you hold his next to yours?"

"this isn't happening," joel says. "this is like a stupid manga or something. it's not happening."

"there is still time to save them; you must hold your heart strong, or the consequences will be dire. i believe in you."

the butterfly vanishes.

"fuck it," joel says. "if i drown then it's nothing people haven't expected of me anyway."

he steps through the swarm of butterflies.

that night, he drags both impulse and skizz out of the river. they're all freezing cold. shadows and strange, yellowy liquid still cling to all of their skin. also, joel stabbed himself, which like, glad to know that's what the knife was for, apparently, and the scar is warm and comforting. he can feel his--persona, and don't ask him how he knows that--shifting under his skin, under the mark on his hand. it said its name is pygmalion; it says it is a piece of joel's soul.

this is all patently insane. but skizz and impulse are alive and NOT eaten by shadow monsters, so even if they're both a little unconscious, joel takes that as a win.

they lie on the ground outside the river. someone stumbles across them. "well give me some teeth and call me an alligator. you got out on your own," breathes a fellow student clutching a dagger. joel thinks he's in the class across the hall. also--

"what are you talking about," joel wheezes.

"you found it on your own. you can find them?" the student says. his eyes are wide. something in joel's soul recognizes something in the student's. something in joel's BRAIN puts two and two together and realizes why mr. hills gave him a knife.

"no. no, go away, i don't want to be involved in this," joel says.

"well, don't you think it's too late for that?" the student says, and joel passes out. he's pretty sure the butterflies have to be laughing at him. in fact, as though to mock him further, after passing out, he doesn't even get to avoid it forever, because he wakes up in a glowing blue boat. there is a man with white-blonde hair, blue eyes, and a blue outfit leaning over him, poking him.

joel takes no responsibility for punching him. he'd do it again, too, as the long-nosed man sitting next to the unmanned steering wheel welcomes him to the velvet room.

(this, joel realizes later, all rather sets the tone for what the next year of his life is about to become.)

#hermitcraft #joel smallishbeans #smallishsona au #THAT'S RIGHT BABY ITS THE PERSONA AU I WAS WAFFLING ABOUT #because i'm playing p3re right now this is pretty p3 inspired but also expect elements of p4 (my fav) and p5 #i. do not know enough about p1 and p2 to be using all these butterflies but FUCK IT WE BALL.#a bee fic #KIND OF I GUESS I'LL PUT THIS THERE.#anyway the idea is that this au is half a crack au and half DEEPLY SINCERE #because the JOKE is that joel hates every minute of being a persona protagonist #but the OTHER bit is that joel is genuinely an extremely loyal guy who would do VERY WELL as a persona protagonist #you just have to drag him there kicking and screaming #(sort of in a very. p3-esque way)

334 notes · View notes

quaranmine · 3 months

Text

Obviously I can't be sure that AdieCraft is going to join Hermitcraft--nor can I even be 100% sure if Skizz, enough though I feel like there is strong evidence toward him joining. But as a general warning to everyone, do not get Too set on anyone in particular you like joining. I know tons of people want Joel, Lizzie, Fwhip, Jimmy, Marytn, Hbomb, etc and other large creators that are already closely associated with hermits. I have seen tons of theorization and speculation on them, they're definitely the most popular choices. But be prepared for that not happening, and be prepared to hype someone else up even if they're a small CC you've never heard of.

Everybody on my AdieCraft theory post from earlier has been nothing but nice about the possibility of him joining ofc, I just have a vague sense of worry when I see just how Sure some people on here are about other CCs. I just want people to be ready for the possibility they're wrong and ready to accept whoever the lucky person is! AKA feel free to theorize whoever you want but avoid getting your hopes up so much that you'll be disappointed or upset if the person you wanted doesn't join. That way we can welcome everyone <3

#frankly i am sure of nothing even though i have strong suspicions here and there #so i'm ready to be surprised LOL #hermitcraft

270 notes · View notes

stiffyck · 8 days

Text

Scar feels like he'd love cuddles but only if it's certain people. Here's who I think he'd love to cuddle:

Cub. Cub is big and soft and warm. He's like a pillow to scar.

Stress. Similar to cub- soft and warm. Perfect for cuddles. And she loves cuddles too. Iskall won't let her cuddle him very much but scar is the fellow cuddler on the server.

Mumbo. Mumbo is a stick and Scar can easily wrap himself around the man. Extra tight cuddles and hugs.

Gem. Gem loves being the big spoon and Scar loves how warm she runs. She's like his personal back warmer.

Skizz. Skizz is just a very comforting presence. Scar likes that.

Bonus list of people he won't touch with a ten foot pole:

Grian. That man kicks in his sleep. Scar will not go through that again.

Xisuma. He won't take off that armor for anything. You'd get bruises everywhere if you tried to cuddle him.

Joel. He won't shut up about Etho and how obsessed etho is with him.

#feel free to give me ur own cuddle hehadcanons about any of the hermits #the thing i mentioned with iskall: i think iskall isnt big on touch in general #hes just nkt a very touchy person. he likes occasional hugs and stuff but he doesnt need it or want it as much as others #stiff talk #gtws #hermitcraft

133 notes · View notes

defty-picklez · 6 months

Text

If Scar was to win (ScarsweepScarsweepScarsweep) I think he should be the Earth. Grian and Scare are so Sun and Earth coded. The Sun and the Earth circle around each other, Sun will kill the Earth eventually but he stays. The Sun flares but he stays.

The Sun gives warmth, the Sun burns. The Earth is charismatic and beautiful, the Earth kills and consumes. Scar-Icarus parallels from 100hours fits so well too.

He has green eyes and Convex based of of vexes are blue and ofc the brown hair. It's also a funny to think that the guy who symbolizes the Earth is a capitalist. Cub can be Kepler and should be in my opinion.

Mumbo could be Black holes. No explanation.

I think Tango would be Comets, the visual of his fire hair fits and I feel like there's probably some symbolism but I don't watch Tango that much sorry.

Joel needs to be Jupiter because of his inspiration from Zeus. Bigbeans being the biggest planted is also funny.

Also, if Grian is the Sun then how about Bdubs? The next best thing I could think of is either Time or Light. Personally I think he should be Time, it's thematic. If I remember correctly, he's killed people because of clocks, the moment he gets the clock someone's death is inevitable. Time makes death inevitable.

So Etho is the Void right? Like canonically if I remember correctly? I'm not sure. So like the Void/Space? Etho and Bdubs being Space/Void and Time is cool.

Cleo is fit to be Death, no explanation too.

Bigb being Mercury would be funny because Mercury is the god of communication and he gaslights gatekeeps and girlbosses. He's also closest to the Sun so blud gets burnt like a cookie.

So like- Neptune the god is related to Jupiter the god but we're NOT PUTTING that in the symbolism here. Anyways, Lizzie could be Neptune because of her being the blue axolotl in Empires season 1 because Neptune is related to the sea.

Maybe Gem could be Pluto because she's new?

Jimmy, canary boy, he was fated to die so maybe that's his thing. Fate itself was Fated to die. Also, fortune telling by using the stars, Astromancy, is a thing so Flower Husband fans there you go.

Ight, hear, me, out. Skizz. As Venus. Because love island. Think about it.

Sorry I really don't know what for Ren and Impulse. Please tell me if you have any ideas, I would love to hear them.

359 notes · View notes

blicketdabest33 · 4 months

Text

Y'all remember that MCYT PJO au I asked for help with awhile ago? WELL HERE'S THE CABINS AND MY EXPLINATIONS BEHIND THEM!!

#1 Zeus Cabin: Jimmy, Joel Jimmy: He's a Zeus kid, but everyone somehow forgets about it. Joel: He's competitive and strong. Also, because Jimmy is his half brother through godly parent, i get to make a fun bit about him dating Lizzie. And one of his origins in Afterlife SMP was a thunderborn

#2 Hera Cabin: Scott Scott: Scott's whole thing is loyalty. Hera is the goddess of marriage and is insanely loyal to Zeus. However, I feel like Hera should get at least one affair. So now Scott can use peacocks as weapons.

#3 Poseidon Cabin: Skizz Skizz: Poseidon kids tend to be really, really loyal to a fault and heroic, both qualities I think Skizz possesses.

#4 Demeter Cabin: Sausage, Shelby, Bdubs, Stress Sausage: This man built Sanctuary in a jungle and has flowers in his hair. He sells wood. There is no other place to put him. Shelby: Mushroom gnome, spooky mangrove witch, powerful storm witch, i need not continue. Bdubs: Moss man. Stress: SHE HAS FLOWERS

#5 Ares Cabin: Martyn, False Martyn: His planet is Mars, which is the roman version of Ares. He ended Limited Life in such a violent way, i can't help it. He was also red for the majority of Secret Life. False: I just feel like False should get to kill people more often.

#6 Athena Cabin: Grian, Pix, Owen, Xisuma Grian: This sums it up pretty well

Pix: Smart man. Archeologist and definitely a nerd. I wanna see him skipping out on training just so he can read history books. Owen: He likes to explore and discover new things in Pirates. In Rats, he's a tinkerer. In New Life, he's an explorer who wants to study hybrids. In Empires, he's a Llama who's curious about how humans work. Just a very curious character overall. Xisuma: Admin. I'm not elaborating.

#7 Apollo Cabin: Gem, Oli, Lyarrah Gem: She is an Apollo kid because of her Empire in S2. She's the sunlight princess. Apollo kid. Oli: MUSIC. MAN. Lyarrah: She writes the captions for the hermitcraft recap.

#8 Artemis Cabin: Pearl Pearl: Y'know, Artemis could've just like... had a kid, even though she took that oath. It wouldn't even have to be with a guy. Gods can change to whatever gender they want. Anyway, Pearl gets to be an Artemis kid because her symbolism is moon, she loves dogs, and will commit murder and hunt at night.

#9 Hephaestus Cabin: Doc, Mumbo, Tango, Impulse, Cub, Zedaph, Fwhip, Iskall Doc: Redstone Mumbo: Redstone Tango: Redstone Impulse: Redstone Cub: Redstone Zedaph: Redstone Fwhip: Redstone AND has a red scarf (don't ask me how that's relevant) Iskall: Redstone

#10 Aphrodite Cabin: Keralis Keralis: Okay, I don't know why, but Keralis gives me the vibes of a very charming person. His voice is nice to listen to, so imagine how useful it'd be if I gave him charm speak.

#11 Hermes Cabin: Scar, Etho, Joe Scar: Trader Scar, scammer extraordinar. Etho: All i must say is Shady-E's. I get "jack-of-all-trades, master of none, often better than master of one" vibes from him. He's funny, he's mischievous, it just works. Joe: Comedy man. Excellent delivery. And, yet again, i look at this man and go "That right there is a multi-talented man with a habit for mischief."

#12 Dionysus Cabin: Joey, Beef Joey: *points at his season one empires theme* i need not say more Beef: Idk, food. I don't really have a reason. I don't know too much about Beef.

#13 Hades Cabin: Zloy Zloy: Zombie man. He writes the Hermitcraft recaps in the dark at 2am with nothing but pure spite.

#14 Iris Cabin: Katherine Katherine: SHE. HAS. COLORS. and also I couldn't put her in Demeter cabin because Shelby is already there and i am NOT excluding Nature Wives from this au

#15 Hypnos Cabin: Bigb, XB, Wels Bigb: Sleepy stuff, right? WRONG. Gaslight. Go in everyones dreams, make fake prophecies, peace out, and cause chaos. XB: I look at his fanon design, I see an alien, and I go "aha he sleeps" Wels: This guy (@dingdinghq) said so and i completely agree. Something about sleeping in S6.

#16 Nemesis Cabin: Edit: wels not here no more

#17 Nike Cabin: Ren Ren: VICTORY. I don't know much about Ren's story in the Life Series, but I look at this man and see someone who has won a lot.

#18 Hebe Cabin:

#19 Tyche Cabin: TFC TFC: Man goes mining and gets really lucky. That's it.

#20 Hecate Cabin: Lizzie, Cleo, Jevin Lizzie: Witchy vibes. Also, Arson. Cleo: Arson. She uses her magic for Arson. Jevin: He's a magic slime. Also, Arson. All Hecate kids love Arson.

173 notes · View notes

t4t4tclethian · 2 months

Text

The moment Joel realizes he has a crush on xB is, objectively, quite a funny one. He’d almost certainly be laughing about it if it had been anyone else. As it is, though, he’s hopping mad, extremely indignant, and deeply embarrassed about the whole thing. Who ever heard of a hitman falling for their mark? (Well, a lot of people have- it’s a whole romance cliche for a reason. But it wasn’t supposed to actually happen!)

(ao3 link)

————————————————

It had all started a few days earlier, when Joel had been hanging out with the other Magical Mountaineers in the breakroom. Gem and Impulse were poring over some papers together, Skizz was on a phone call in the corner, Mumbo was politely watching as Scar fumbled through some magic tricks, and Grian was sitting on the couch with Joel, listening to him rant about his failures at killing xB (he’d drawn the short straw). Everything was normal.

And then, when Joel paused his tirade to take a breath, Grian said those fatal words. “From the way you talk about this guy, Joel, it’s almost like you’ve got a crush on the mark!”

Which was ridiculous, of course! He does blummin’ not, thank you! His relationship with xB was a perfectly platonic contract killing, and Joel is a professional! He knows better than to fall for his target, and he indignantly tells Grian as much.

But, of course, Grian is Grian, and the second he senses he’s touched a nerve he doubles down. And so he did.

“Contract killing? Give me a break, Joel! Your contract on this guy expired ages ago, and you’re not the type to work for free.” Grian’s eyes twinkled with mischief as he continued to needle at Joel. “Admit it, there’s something else going on here, isn’t there?”

Joel spluttered, and took a deep breath as he glanced around the room. Fuck. Everyone had stopped what they were doing to listen in on him and Grian now. He had to say something to throw them off or he would never be able to live this conversation down.

“My contract might be done, but unlike some people I finish the things I start, thank you very much!”

Grian squawked in indignation, and as he did so the others chuckled and turned back to their own conversations, unfounded accusations of romance forgotten. Grian’s tendency to leave things unfinished was well-known, and something that every assassin at Magic Mountain had teased him over many times.

But that thought refused to leave his brain. It had wiggled its way in like a worm. Did he have a crush on xB? Is that why he kept coming back when any sane person would’ve just given it up already? And the answer, of course, is no. All of Joel’s actions here have perfectly reasonable and professional explanations.

————————————————————

Joel waits patiently on the rooftop across from Horse Head Farmer’s Market (which, despite the name, is actually a grocery store/money laundering scheme, not a farmer’s market), rifle at the ready, just as he has been for the past three and a half hours. You can’t rush a good sniping, after all, and xB’s schedule varies enough that Joel’s never quite sure when he’ll head out for lunch. (He’s pretty sure xB has done this specifically to spite Joel- the guy’s obsessed with him.)

Yes! Finally! xB steps out of the store, starts walking down the street, and- turns to look at Joel’s rooftop, makes direct eye contact with him, and gives him a friendly little wave, the infuriatingly sincere kind that makes Joel want to kill him even more. Dammit. He’s been caught. Also, wow, even from here Joel is a little wowed by how blue xB’s eyes are. Or maybe he’s just remembering how they look, because there’s no way Joel can actually see his eyes from here. They are definitely a very nice blue, though, and oh, huh, Joel realizes that Lizzie has blue eyes, too. Maybe he’s got a thing for blue-eyed people, and- OH SHIT RIGHT HE’S KILLING THIS GUY.

Joel fires, because even if he’s been discovered a vantage point is still a vantage point. Of course, xB somehow manages to not be in the bullet’s path, just like he always does, and then he gives Joel a disapproving look, like he’s actually disappointed Joel didn’t do a better job at trying to kill him.

God, he’s so cute, Joel’s brain has the audacity to think, like it’s trying to add insult to insult to injury. To Joel’s horror, he realizes in this moment that he’s had dozens, maybe even hundreds of thoughts like this, that just slipped through the cracks and went unnoticed.

Then, xB smiles at him again before heading on his way, and Joel falls off of the rooftop. He has time to think, Oh, I’m gonna kill Grian, as he plummets towards the ground. And then, everything goes dark, and he dies.

#hitman xbeans au #gumy writes! it’s a miracle!#this isn’t the end btw it’s just a good pausing point #hermitshipping #oh also btw in this au joel and lizzie are in an open relationship #bc i couldn’t write her out for the sake of yaoi. i just couldn’t.#so instead she has a thing with cleo and joel has a thing with xb and both of them know #but lizzie doesn’t wanna hear shit abt joel’s hitman activities

108 notes · View notes

piglinmyfeet · 3 months

Text

I need to say something about how Joel never gets final kills, I need to, I just don't know what

The first two final kills he did were in Last Life, and they were in the finale. Compare that to some of the other finalists, Scott killed Impulse, Ren killed Skizz and Scar, Cleo killed BigB, and Grian killed Jimmy Mumbo and Bdubs (granted Joel did try to kill Bdubs too but shhh) (the other people without a final kill by this point were Etho, Martyn and Pearl)

It really goes to show how Joel was genuinely loyal to the reds, he didn't even consider killing another red at any point, he didn't want to be alone, and he never killed another person on their last life for the next two seasons

Until Secret Life. In the finale, he's desperate for a kill. He has so few hearts left and he kills Skizz for it, but it's not his initial choice. It's not personal and it's a recommendation from Scar of all people, the person he failed to team with in Last Life.

There's something significant here I know it.

#trafficblr #traffic smp #traffic series #smallishbeans #joel smallishbeans #secret life smp #my very own post #joel sadposting

138 notes · View notes

cheyj05 · 1 year

Text

Okay, the people who are saying The Bad Boys are a disaster waiting to happen... are correct but not for the reason they’re saying!

They are not going to betray each other! They are one of the least likely to betray each other!

First of all, Joel is NOT a lone wolf, the exact opposite in fact! He was only alone in 3rd life. In Last Life he was planning to team up with Scar but he ended up going red life first so he COULDN’T be teamed with anyone. Even then he killed Grian specifically so he could have a friend! He was in the middle of the red life packs in Last Life and Double Life! In Double Life he literally wore a shirt with Etho’s face on it! In the most recent session he protected Grian faithfully! He’s really loyal, he’s just feral about it. Least likely out of The Bad Boys to betray.

The only time Jimmy betrayed anybody was The Southlands but there were a lot of extenuating circumstances. He wasn’t really close to anybody in that group other than Grian and Martyn but Grian hung out with Mumbo most of the time and Martyn had promised to betray the group with him. When he stole the life he thought Martyn would leave with him! Maybe help him escape! He didn’t expect Martyn to betray him! He only betrayed The Southland b/e he though the odds were on his side. Also the larger the group the easier it is to not feel guilty betraying them, it’s less personal. The Bad Boys are a group but not a big one, and I would definitely say he’s close to Joel and Grian. Also The Bad Boys have more of a group identity than The Southlands. B/e they’re The Bad Boys and The Southlands was more of a loose collection of people who all knew they were going to betray each other eventually.

Grian is probably the most likely to betray the others but still unlikely. He has a tendency to be loyal to one person specifically regardless of anybody else he teams up with that season. With 3rd Life, it was Scar, Last Life Mumbo, and Double Life BigB. Those are also the ones he ends up killing. He doesn’t really follow this pattern in Limited Life since I can’t say he’s closer to one Bad Boy over the other (Though maybe Joel?) But honestly he makes it pretty clear in his own POV when he’s planning to betray his group and he hasn’t shown any signs of it yet.

The groups most likely to betray each other are as follows(ranked most to least likely)

1. T.I.E.S

2. The Clockers

3. Bad Boys

4. Mean Gills

5. Nosy Neighbors

I put T.I.E.S above The Clockers b/e I feel like anybody in TIES could betray each other (like Etho, Tango, or Impulse and Skizz) at any time, Bdubs is the only one I think would betray the Clockers right now. Cleo has A Thing about betraying your day 1 ally and while Scar WOULD betray his group, he doesn’t like being alone and would only do it if he knew he wouldn’t be.

Despite everything I typed here, The Bad Boys are still themselves and are unpredictable.

Honestly the Mean Gills and the Nosy Neighbors are both pretty much tied b/e Scott and Martyn are both too pragmatic and BigB and Pearl are both too one unit. I put Mean Gills as 4th b/e we all know Martyn only joined Scott b/e Ren wasn’t there and the other groups had already established themselves. He’s also honestly the most lone wolf out of everybody in the server.

766 notes · View notes

crystaldoodler · 2 months

Text

A very long post of doodles relating to @theminecraftbee ‘s smallishsona AU (sorry for the tag again). I think of this AU while wandering Tartarus, so, I’ve had a lot of time to think. This post is really long and has a lot of rambling so, I’m putting it all under the cut. I’m sorry world I have too many words and rambles in me

First up, character designs!

I used primarily their mc skins for design, with only a few rl things thrown in. But, I didn’t bring them up so the colors are off a bit.

Starting off with Joel:

He’s following the persona protagonist tradition of mostly wearing the school uniform correctly, but with some minor embellishments. I’m still debating whether or not to add more, but w/e. His signature color is green.

Then Skizz and Impulse:

The greatest dichotomy of time to design, Impulse I knocked out on the second go, but I’ve done many iterations of Skizz and I still am not satisfied with this design. The ripped sleeves looked too out there (to me, at least) but nothing else seems to work so I settled for the shirt under uniform shirt look. Something I struggled with that these two emphasize is making them look like teenagers, and what they look like, and also keep to the anime style, and also my own incompetence with drawing facial features so It’s something all of these lack in. Impulse is yellow, and Skizz is blue.

Scar and Grian are next up, Scar’s facial Scar is from summoning his persona, because he stabbed himself in the face lol. Not much to say about these guys, I settled on orange for Scar and red for grian, which I am still struggling with beacause mumbo:

is ALSO red. So I guess they are just, both? red? If you look at the party select screens in persona though, the characters have pretty strong color coding, so I guess I’ll figure something out. If anyone is still reading: help. Anyway, mumbo wins the award for wearing the uniform the most normal (except for the tie)

Last but not least, Gem!

She’s wearing a longer skirt than the usual uniforms and also some big-ass boots. Also, she’s a sea monster thing? So, I was thinking, staring at SEES cool new uniform things and thinking about the Phantom Thieves and how cool their outfits are and realized the persona games have at least some design change to separate their daily looks from shadow hunting. Even if it is only glasses in p4 lol. So, I thought maybe weapon holsters? but, that seemed a little too generic. So! I decided to combine how I normally draw the hermits (and a lot of the fandom does) as having non-human traits as the big things setting their combat looks apart. It is both a) fun to draw, b) creates an eye catching and distinctive design for combat and c) is really funny. I thought it was funny so I drew a comic about it:

and here’s a sketch of what everyone looks like and also the transformation gives them very distinct eyes, for no reason other than I think it looks cool:

mumbo is a normal human btw (or at least, he appears to be)

Welp,that’s all I got. If I look at these drawings any longer I will hate them so here they are, yippee. Also, Bee/OP, sorry for exploding; I am into persona and hermitcraft right now so this AU is like a perfect storm to give me brain rot.

#hermitcraft #persona #my art #smallishbeans #smallishsona #i have other comic ideas but i dont want to be annoying ahhh *explodes*

95 notes · View notes

umbrify · 5 months

Text

It can’t be your fault.

They tell you it was. They’re wrong. You tell them it was Etho’s own fault, that he was foolish.

“I just wanna know who put the egg down,” Scar asks. It feels like an accusation.

“I did,” you reply, lacing false confidence into your voice.

“Oh, Grian,” Scar says, and it feels like resignation. Like an understanding that’s all too intimate.

“And there’s— there’s more, where that came from,” you insist, pretending not to hear him. Pretending that Etho did that to himself, pretending you don’t feel like you’ve done something horrible.

You regroup. Your numbers are dwindling, lingering here like sitting ducks, waiting to be picked off one by one. You plan to get closer to the horde, try to gain any information you can. A very risky mission, surely.

Going alone might be a death wish. You ask someone to come with you. Skizz volunteers.

You sneak up close, just in time to see the horde chasing Joel. He’s one of your own. He’s alive. The horde didn’t see you. You could help Joel.

Skizz looks at you.

You run.

Skizz chases after you. “We gotta help our buddy, dude!”

“No,” you say, frantic, “we can’t help him!”

You keep running. Skizz follows. “We just left Joel, man!”

You know. Gods, you know.

“Should we help him?” You ask. It feels like a stupid question. “I did— I took the cowardly route, I let them run right past—“

Skizz takes your shoulders. “Come on— hey, come on, let’s go, let’s go help him!”

It’s too late. You don’t even see Joel die.

Skizz leads the two of you through the woods, back towards home. “We could’ve saved him, maybe,” you say. It feels like betrayal.

“Or we could’ve all died,” you offer instead.

“Yeah yeah, probably that,” Skizz says.

You almost hope that would’ve been the case.

It can’t be your fault.

#secret life #secret life smp #grian #pov second person #Grian ‘accidentally gets his allies killed’ m*necr*ft is NOT beating the allegations #<- (censored so it doesn’t clog the game tag)#umbrify writes

91 notes · View notes

theminecraftbee · 2 months

Text

Joel sits awkwardly at a family dinner table that isn’t for him.

It’s nice and all, he reckons, for Impulse’s family to invite him over after he leaves the hospital. Even before—everything—Joel’s family hadn’t really been the “big meal around a big table” type, so he’s getting some new experiences here too. And it’s nice and all, that they want to thank him for his role in finding Skizz.

But like. It’s not like he or Impulse or Skizz could explain how it happened, when asked. “Magic brain ghosts” and “evil butterflies” and “Joel still isn’t certain all of that was real and is trying to pretend it wasn’t” puts a damper on that. Also, adults are kind of shit at talking around the fact Joel’s whole family is dead, so he gets the sense he’s sort of harshing the vibes, you know?

Still. It’s a nice gesture. He guesses. It’s free food at least, which is decent, and as close as Impulse and Skizz are, every time one of Impulse’s family says something stupid, Skizz taps Joel’s leg with his foot or steals a roll or something, and it makes Joel feel…

He’d have been sad if Skizz had died, probably. Like, he wouldn’t know. He didn’t come here to make friends, he came here to get a degree and get out. Also, that’s stupid, because it’s not like Joel would have known he was missing a really awkward congratulatory family dinner in which Skizz kept on trying to sneakily steal beans. Probably would have just moved right on. He’s not… friendly.

But.

They stand outside afterwards, waving by to Impulse, promising to walk together so that neither of them Vanish. They’re quiet.

“Thanks, man. That meant a lot to them,” Skizz says.

“Yeah, well, I can do stupid things for free food,” Joel says.

Skizz laughs. “It was nice having you there, too. Man, they’re even worse with you! It’s like not knowing you means they’re even more awkward about family tragedy.”

“Trust me, most adults are way worse. You should see my social worker,” Joel says.

“Didn’t he ditch you, dude?”

“Haha, yeah, he did,” Joel says.

They stare up at the streetlamps together.

“I was really ready to go for a bit there,” Skizz says. Joel’s hackles raise. Oh no. Emotions. Bad. Go away. “It was like—man, it felt like the whole world was empty. But when you showed up, it’s like I remembered… I’d miss dinners, dude.”

“I have no idea why, that kinda sucked,” Joel says, baffled and sarcastic, because he’s a moron who can’t handle emotional conversations, this is why everyone avoided him at the funeral, stupid.

Skizz breaks out laughing.

“You’re great, man! I’m glad we met. Uh, my place is only a block away, and I won’t go following any stupid butterflies. See you at school?”

“Yeah man. See you,” Joel says—

I am thou.

Thou art I.

Thou hath formed a new bond.

With the power of the Chariot Arcana, you shall build the chains with which to hold on to reality.

RANK 1!

“What the hell?” Joel says, tripping over his feet. “What? What? Where did—what the fuck that wasn’t Pygmalion oh god do I have more than one voice in my head—”

“Dude, are you okay?”

Skizz’s almost frustratingly strong and comforting arms grab Joel.

“Tell me you heard that,” Joel says desperately.

“I—I don’t know what you’re talking about. I could take you back to the hospital—no?”

“I am either crazy or am going to end up in a government lab?” Joel says, voice getting high and squeaky.

“We can ask Mr. Hills about it? He came to talk to me after I woke up in the hospital, apparently he like, knows stuff,” Skizz says.

“I don’t wanna,” Joel says.

“Tough luck, buddy, you just almost fell over and cracked your head open!”

Suddenly, Joel remembers a long-nosed man and a blonde in a very blue boat. He remembers a cryptic conversation about bonds and power and their importance. He takes a deep breath. “Can you cover your ears for a moment?” he says.

“Yeah, sure thing, why—”

Joel, as loudly as he can, screams. He hears several birds fly away. He pants.

“…Joel,” Skizz says.

“Yeah thanks man don’t worry about it let’s never speak of this again I’m sure it’s nothing. I definitely didn’t have a weird dream about this and should go to bed.”

“Yeah, okay, whatever you say,” Skizz says cheerfully before laughing, which Joel continues grumbling about all the way back to his apartment.

#smallishsona au #joel smallishbeans #skizzleman #a bee fic #WELCOME CHARIOT ARCANA #figured I’d come poke this some more. still getting through the ‘opening tutorial’ part of the game.#this is where you’re railroaded through your first social link so you can learn how that mechanic works lol #I AM bending the rules by having it be skizz instead of the fool thanks for asking #I just think he deserves it.#also skizz being the first male friend also breaks the magician rule #but like. HE DESERVES IT.#and scar isn’t far off I can do what I want.

211 notes · View notes

hmshermitcraft · 7 days

Note

more sleepy mumbo and polyhermits <3 bc i have no inspiration but i miss submitting my silly shipping shit here

“I’m so tired…” Mumbo yawned, stretching his back like a cat as he lounged in the sun atop magical mountain, surrounded by many of his partners.

“Didn’t you sleep well last night, bud?” Skizz asked, concerned and shuffling closer to his partner. He and Joel were new to the hermits polycule, and still didn’t know all of their partners little quirks.

Grian snorted, “No! He slept 12 hours last night!” He teased from his spot laying across Impulse and Gem’s laps.

“Oh, how are you so tired then?” Skizz questioned, reaching over to pet Mumbo’s head.

“…Sleepy.” Mumbo simply replied, yawning to prove his point and making the group laugh. The group fell back into silence until Mumbo’s snores filled the air. The shapeshifter shrunk himself down slightly, just enough to curl up close to Skizz more comfortably.

-🌻

Skizz ends up carrying Mumbo in his arms for most of the day, smiling fondly at the goofy redstoner hanging off him. Mumbo barely stirs and they all know he's going to be insufferable later, but he's just too cute to wake up.

Grian just laughs at both of them. Skizz will have to learn eventually. Or, he can carry Mumbo around forever. Grian isn't going to argue either way!

#hermitshipping #ask #mumbo tag #skizz tag #polyhermits #mumskizz #🌻 anon #mod 🎀

42 notes · View notes

plumadot · 5 days

Note

I'd love to hear any ideas about dnd Gem or Pearl if you have any!

Like. The most obvious thing would probably be some type of elf for Gem

But who else does she know? Does her time in Empires and HC play a role with her being able to dimension hop? Are normal little cottage core Gem and GeminiSlay just her being silly or is it magic related? I think this could make for a very cool backstory idk

Is Pearl the scarlet witch or does she just try to exist and keep her doggos safe? Well. Scarlet Pearl was also keeping her dogs safe but still

Imp and Skizz would be interesting too! They've known each other a long time irl, but would that carry? Is Imp a short little dwarf like s9?

(I'm such a newbie to dnd i love it but boy does it make my brain hurt when i try to learn more about how many races there are there's probably a whole lot better ones they could be than my little suggestions here fjhhf)

-🌿 (new anon hoping I'm not stealing another anons identity here hi)

hehe hi!!!!!

for gem i was thinking a faun hdbfvdhf there's an opportunity to give her pretty antlers so i will take it!!!! she also uses them to fight :)

this may be too inspired by hc10 but i was thinking she might know joel and etho from their shared pirating days. these days she hunts monsters on land with pearl :D i think she has pretty high charisma for a rogue and she uses it to catch any enemies off guard; pretending she's a sweet helpless girl only to stab them with many many daggers :D

pearl is slightly feral by nature and always preferred to spend time with wolves over people (until gem came along). i think it could be fun if there were fables about the scarlet witch as like a cryptid wandering and protecting the woods... when really she's just a druid :')

imp and skizz need to be besties in every universe it's so important. idk how they met but them maintaining their friendship with impulse being all settled at the crastle and skizz being an outlander would be interesting waaaa also i still haven't decided whether impulse should be a tiefling or dwarf aaaaaaaa help!!!!!!

there will always be other options but everyone's ideas are fun and valid so no worries hehe <3

(i don't believe anyone uses 🌿 yet so :D)

#ask #plume dnd au #<3

40 notes · View notes