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#and im afraid so im just not writing his PoV lmao
the-cookie-of-doom · 4 months
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I know Kinn is not central part of the 'Kim gives himself to Porsche story' at the moment but I want to know, what is he thinking about what happened and happens? Of course Korn fed him many lies about Kim, but were they in line of ~Kim absolutely betrayed us, he is worse than the minor family~ way or were they like ~Kittisawat family manipulated him~ kind of way? Do Porsche and Kinn ever come across each other and Porsche has a gun to Kinn’s head but then he lowers the gun, saying something like well I made a promise to not harm you, and is Kinn shocked out of his mind?
Fell free to be as mysterious in your answers as you want!
Love,
🖤
Anon my beloved!! You're right, there isn't a ton of Kinn in this fic (yet!!) Because of that, I don't have a ton of plans for him yet, and at the moment he won't even have his own PoV chapters, so IDK what's going to be going on there. I haven't fully decided. Disclaimer that anything is subject to change, but here are some ideas!
Firs off, Kinn is devastated when Kim disappears. He loses both his lover and his brother in a very short span of time, and is told one or both of them also betrayed his trust, and. We see how that works out for him in canon lol. It turns him into someone very cold and cruel that doesn't trust anyone.
I think Korn has known the entire time where Kim is/who he's with. Or if not know, at least suspected. Porsche knows way too much about his business, and it's too coincidental with Kim's disappearance. The question is whether or not he's going to share that information with Kinn. I'm torn. On the one hand, he could play off Kim's disappearance and fake his death. That would keep Kinn focused on work instead of trying to track Kim down. On the other hand, he could be framing it like Kim betrayed them, trying to sew discord between the brothers in case Kim every tries to come home. But I don't think that would work on Kinn for very long, he's full of too much love for his family. He would still want an explanation from Kim.
It's also imperative to the plot that Kinn has no idea Kim is with Porsche. The way I want the KinnPorsche to work out, they have a very antagonistic professional relationship/rivalry.
Kinn is already furious when he finds out Porsche knew where his brother was all this time. Years. Smiling to his face, acting friendly, flirting with him. Only to go home and bend his little brother over the nearest surface. (And yes, that is a roadblock for KinnPorsche, even though KimChay aren't bothered by it. It was pretty normalized for Chay, but Kinn is having a Very Hard Time.)
Okay I got sidetracked. (so much for answering mysteriously, eh?) Anyway. All that to say, Porsche hides Kim from Kinn. The way he sees it, Kim was in bad shape when he turned up on Porsche's door, clearly running from something bad, and he was an adult capable of making his own decision. So he's going to go along with it. But then between Kim obviously missing his brother (and pretending he doesn't), and Kinn's well-concealed grief, still putting out feelers bc he refuses to accept Kim is gone, Porsche decides he needs to get them back together. Kim refuses, but then something happens that kind of forces their hand: he runs straight into Kinn.
Then there's a KinnPorsche confrontation. Now that there's undeniable proof of where Kim is, Korn starts telling Kinn all the awful things Porsche must have been doing to him all this time, holding him prisoner, abusing him, etc. That doesn't fit with the Porsche Kinn knows, but surely there's Nothing Else.
Korn sees this as a way to eliminate a rival family that's gotten way too powerful. Eventually Kim's information is too out of date to be helpful anymore, but he's still an intelligent little schemer, and he becomes Porsche's most trusted advisor. And ofc Kim's priority is always to ruin his father's business as much as possible, so Korn is eager to be rid of him.
So, yeah! There's occasional KinnPorsche interactions, but not too much. Just enough for Kinn to feel betrayed when he finally finds Kim. Esp. when he finds Kim very much playing the part of sex slave (for Chay, at this point), and thinks the things Korn has told him must be true. And it doesn't help that Kim refuses to come anywhere near him; Kinn thinks he's been Stockholm Syndromed.
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journalsouppe · 1 month
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Professor Layton and the Spectre’s Call!! I actually discovered ordering the game from the UK with shipping was actually cheaper than ordering the American version of the game, there were no major differences that I could tell as they still had the original English voice actors.
I enjoyed this game!! Not my top favorite installment but I still had a great time and loved the new characters. The puzzles were well designed and had nice scaled difficulty and the mini games were really neat too. The Eternal Diva references were so blatant lmfao but I’m excited for Miracle Mask! I was also super exhausted when writing the summary so sorry there’s so many errors and I use the word fun a million times ToT
The Descole and Tea sticker are from JordyDrawsMerch! All other stickers are from Daiso. Writing typed below!
Rating: 8.3
Played: Sp 2024
Port: DS on 3DS
Favorite? Y
Replayable? Y
Recommend? Y
Series: Professor Layton
Comments
Emmy and BABY LUKE!!
OH THANK GOD IT’S CHRISTOPHER ROBIN MILLER
Ngl im so excited to watch the anime, I love the animation sm
Oh Layton is not taking Claire’s death well at all
I love how animated the background now is!!
Beautiful music as always
Does Clark have the same VA as Dmitri lol
THE WORLD WILL END? Damn Luke
The specter looks like one of those little kingdom hearts guys
Luke’s been a LaytonMobile hater since day one lmao
Luke is especially funny in this game
Layton taking Luke to the black market is so wild
THE PUPPET PLAY IS ADORABLE
I’m going to fight aunt taffy
Ooo we get to play as Emmy
Holy shit Emmy
GIRL FROG
Emmy asking if Layton always pokes lamps he sees is making me think he physically touches everything the player taps
The convo with the meowing man???
CHELMEY AND BARTON
Based anti-cop npc
THE DYNAMITE WORKS LMAO
Is Hershel gonna get a cask of amantillado’d T^T
The canals are so pretty i like the design of misthallery
Oh i do not like the police chief
I LOVE YOU EMMYYY
Grosky is very funny
Omg the cliff death police cover up reminds me of killer frequency which i just watched a playthrough of
FUCK JAKES
Where’s phoenix when you need him
JAIL BREAK JAIL BREAK!!!
I love descole’s voice
YAAA LADDER VS STEP LADDER
NESSIE???
The story book stories and animations are so CUTE!!
I wonder if Naiya was added to the game to hit at the Eternal Diva
This kinda reminds me of a pokemon movie but I don’t remember which one it was
^^ it was pokemon heroes when latias and latios were caught ^^;
AN OCARINA!!!
Creepy fucking factory music ToT
Oh dear. I seem to have stepped on a hexagonal spanner
Descole always serving massive cunt
Woah the golden garden is beautiful
Ohh so that’s why Luke was fork life certified in plvspw
ZAMN T^T
THE WAY THE SPRITES WALK KILLS ME LOL
I really like these little episodes from others POVS! ^_^
Summary
This was such a fun origin story for Luke and Layton. Very much a classic Layton game with world ending machinery and gorgeous environment design. I really liked both Emmy and Descole, there’s a more serious undertone than with Don Paolo as the main villain (even though I do love Don Paolo). Emmy is amazing!! I was afraid she would be sidelined like Flora was but I’m glad to she stands her ground and does what she wants to do. I alos like how we got to go on our own adventure as her to London, she’s a character that doesn’t need to rely on Hershel to solve everything. Meeting Luke was great, loved his blank stare. It was fun seeing his origins and how Clark and Hershel knew each other. I’m curious how the prequels will play into the New World of Steam, especially now that Luke’s family have stories and sprites (unlike in the original trilogy). Loved the ACAB story, v nice to play while I’m still so mad at what’s happening to university students currently. Descole was so fun, I am obsessed with his outfit and personality. Unfortunately I was spoiled on who he is but I’m very excited to learn more. I think similar to Ace Attorney, the fourth installment is that last game in the classic 2D style, which is sad but PLvsPW makes me very hopeful about 3D Layton. The overall story was fun, I really liked the sub plot about the Ravens - that was really fun (i was so tired writing this omfg). I wish we got a little more backstory on the rich guy who died, I feel like there’s more to the story. OO I loved the little episodes, especially the one about Chelmey. They added a lot of fun context and gave more life to the NPCs. Such a fun and classic Layton game, I can’t wait to play Miracle Mask! (And read the light novels). This wasn’t my favorite Layton game but I still really loved it and had a great time and loved the puzzles — that’s all I want from PL!
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cutemeat · 2 years
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Speaking of taking it to 11, I'm glad Glenn stood up for not throwing away stereotypes entirely just to be subversive. Ofc it's valuable that Mac's not a gay man stereotype, but as a queer Asian who fits stereotypes, it's sad when tv goes TOTALLY in the opposite direction because they're worried they'll "do a stereotype" (obv there's good, nuanced and bad, harmful versions). There's proud defiance in leaning in sometimes. Do you think RCG worry about "bi Dennis" bc of evil bi stereotypes?
YES, i totally agree!! And it makes perfect sense that he feels that way, cuz Dennis does tend to embody a lot of common queer stereotypes from s1 all the way to s15... Way moreso than Mac ever has, imo. But its not so much that he felt like a plain caricature of those stereotypes (though obviously im not gonna act like in a lot of moments he's not being played up that way lol... 'boys are out tonight huh!?' but even Glenn admitted that was something he didn't want to be included in the episode as his character cuz it was "too broad" LMAO). He still feels like a character that has depth and is well-rounded, including those 'stereotypical' queer traits. So even before Glenn outright said that, it did feel like he had that mentality and I think that's also probably something that's gotten better with maturity lollll. But I was also rlly glad to hear him outright say that too, cuz it is, as you said, commonplace now for writers to keep trying to be "subversive" of stereotypes but that can backfire horribly and just make a lot of characters feel flat or inauthentic. So yeah it was rlly nice to hear that, and esp on the podcast which gets a lot of viewers.
And I do think that RCG are aware that there is a line they have to be be mindful of when it comes to how these characters' overall deviant nature might be perceived as being related to their queerness... Esp in the case of Dennis, and Mac as well. I think this concern was actually somewhat acknowledged in "The Janitor Always Mops Twice" (and tbh I'm surprised I haven't seen more analysis on this?? tho it definitely could've come up and just been purged at some point as a lot of s14 shit ended up being loll) because the way that episode framed not only Dennis, but Mac too, to fit into the "queer-coded villains" noir trope was--again, imo-- an acknowledgment of that. Like, they see the history of that trope in tv/film and how reductive it is. I think that the narrative is deeming that kind of characterization reductive because that episode is not told thru an objective POV, but it's filtered through Charlie's POV, and he clearly has some uh... complex feelings about his best friends' relationship and their respectively ambiguous and not-so-ambiguous sexualities LOL. But also in the past whenever a scene was through Charlie's POV (i.e. his flashback sequence in "Who Got Dee Pregnant?") it's been shown that he has pretty reductive views of the people in his life. Typically narrowing them down to a few traits, or saying shit that is very uh "ooc" (i.e. "yeah. dee inspired me. she said, "you're an awesome janitor, charlie. you can make this whole school slippery." I said, "sure, I'll give it my best shot." then she's, like, "let's be best friends." and I was, like, "sure, I'll give that my best shot, too." so we're best friends now.)... so... yeah. Plus, when you compare that episode's framing to the rest of s14 and that season's overall "oh god we're so afraid of fucking this all up" subtext (Thunder Gun 4, Right to Chop, Big Mo, etc.)... I definitely do think that's definitely a concern of theirs when it comes to that aspect of Dennis' writing as well LOL. and I think even they even sorta admitted to that dragging their feet on addressing Dennis' sexuality/his relationship with Mac as it has been the past couple of seasons in the s15 finale in a very on-the-nose way... ("oh, my god. It looks like he was dragging his feet back here. were you hanging on it?") lmaooo..
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rainsoughtflowers · 6 months
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GAH just finished my reread and have so many thoughts (like i always have) and i've decided who better to receive them than the author that has made the mistake of acknowledging me? ;) everytime i walk away from this fic i feel so content. a lot of fics leave more to be desired or they leave questions that will inevitably be left unanswered, but never once have i ever felt like that with your work. every interaction with the characters feels so true to their characters, which is hard to do especially with the complex emtionally stunted dick that is chishiya lol (i read that in a comment and it has stuck with me since). never once did i ever question your portrayal of his character. and the mc is one of the best i've ever read. they have nuance, perspective, personality, and DEVELOPMENT! overall are the best character imo.
i also want to expand a bit more on why i chose aces on the cover! in the show the ace was the lowest card, but aces really have the power you as the player give them. they can be the least powerful card or the most powerful. the mc really is the personification of all of that. they could have let their past trauma and current conflict tear them down, and i honestly felt they did in the beginning a bit, but they turned it all around and gave themself the power to be the most powerful ace in the deck. its a beautiful story of not just romance but of growth and change. thank you for the time and effort you clearly put into your work
now im on to read the tangled au LMAO sorry for the rant <3
me hysterically crying rn cuz YOU ARE SO SWEET 😭😭 i’ve reread this message so many times and every time i feel so happy. you have truly touched my heart with your words. i am always happy to hear a reader’s thoughts on the story, especially when it comes to easter eggs i’ve hidden throughout! so, if you ever have questions or theories, don’t be afraid to reach out i’d LOVE to confirm or deny 🤭
also hearing that i was able to give a good portrayal of the characters makes me SOSOS proud cause i remember spending hours analyzing each characters interactions throughout the show and manga ESPECIALLY chishiya. he was definitely the hardest character to write for, especially that entire chapter in his pov, but ironically enough it’s also one of my favorite pieces of writing :D IM ALSO SO HAPPY YOU LOVE MC!! i always hated reader inserts who don’t have any personality or growth and i really tried to do my best to create a character that people could relate to or root for :D (and is she a little bit like me? yeah,,,,)
AND THE ACES SYMBOLISM IS SO AAAHHHH I LOVE IT!! aces really does have the power to either be the best or worst card!! very clever !!
thank you again for the kind words, it really means the world to me. i hope you enjoy the tangled au (it’s my favorite so far HAHAHA) MWAH I LOVE YOU
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twinksintrees · 2 years
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Please tell more about your playlists! I've been listening to some of them and I'm rll curious about why you put certain songs in playlists and ur anlysises on them!
thank you for the ask!! Bc this ended being way longer than I thought it would be, I’m only going to be focusing on one playlist here, but I will write up similar post for most of my other playlists as well. Today we will be focusing on my Glenn Close playlist.
Edit: a link to the playlist has been added below bc I forgot to put that in when I first posted lmao
Analysis under the cut
Carry on my wayward son: this might be one of the simplest to explain, and its because the cast themselves have joked and talked about how this song fits glenn, even going so far as to make the title to one of the most important glenn centric episodes. It has to be on there imo.
Highway to hell: this one is also simple to explain, glenn became a demon and went through his owm highway to hell, as it were. It also fits into his dad rock theme, as does carry on my wayward son.
I miss having sex but at least i dont want to die anymore: i dont have a real reason for this one honestly, i think i heard this song on a random playlist and it made me think of glenn? I think theres a version of glenn in my head that lives as a human and goes back to the human realm as normal with the other dads and this would be from his pov after he grows and gets older and does some healing i guess?? It doesn’t make a lot of sense ik.
Anna sun: this is one of the songs most closely (heh) associated with glenn in my head. This song makes me think of young glenn, fresh after morgan died, being left with a 7 y/o Nick and no idea how to cope with either of their grief. The chorus of “this house is falling apart” sung with more and more intensity makes me envision a scene where its young glenn, standing in a small, lonely apartment holding a tiny nick in his arms as he looks around, no idea what to do without his wife and best friend here to help him. The lyrics “we got no money, but we got heart” make me think of glenn, failing rockstar, determined to make a way for himself and for his son.
Sickly sweet holidays: i found this one on another glenn playlist, and the christmas theme was perfect, but also, the lyrics “im crying every day, i wish that you were here, when christmas comes this time each year” are so heartbreaking applied to him and morgan if its him singing that after shes gone.
Last christmas: it fit the christmas theme and i just liked the jimmy eat world version lmao.
Home: this song. just breaks me. The pain and the heartbreak and the tragedy of losing someone you care so deeply about just is glenn with morgan. The lyrics “and i got mad when they said that you weren't coming back to me, cause i hate hearing the truth” are crushing in this case especially because glenn does hate hearing the truth. He’s the type of person who avoids his problems until they slap him in the face. He does that with his grief, doesnt acknowledge his or his son’s pain, and it isnt good for him. For either of them.
Ghost of york: this song is on the playlist solely because it slaps and because of the lyrics “and from the corner of my eye/i saw you dressed all in white/i saw you pass right by/maybe i had too much wine/you never said goodbye” for me, this song speaks to a sad, depressed glenn mourning his wife and drowning his pain with drink, wishing he just had the chance to say goodbye one more time.
Afraid: “when i wake i'm afraid somebody else might take my place” i mean, this literally happened with him and jodie. The chorus is glenn talking shit about jodie. “It hurts but i wont fight you” is glenn accepting jodie as Nick’s new father.
Pope is a rockstar: i dont care i dont care if the lyrics are ‘pope is a rockstar’ Glenn sang ‘go little rockstar’ to nick when he was young and you can't change my mind.
Never love an anchor: oooohh boy. Oh boy. Pain. let's go. With the first lyrics alone “on some level i think i always understood/that these hands of mine were clumsy not clever/and i tried to do the best that i could/ but try as i might i could not bring myself to hold you” this is a very glenn song. Glenn Close was not meant to be a father, no matter how much he loved his son. In fact, with the next set of lyrics we’ll be looking at “a ship could never really love an anchor/so i did the only thing that i could/and severed the rope that set you sailing from my harbor” they can be tied directly to him making the choice to let nick go at the trial. “There are times when i still wonder about you/you are someone i have loved but never known” glenn still loves nick, but that's not the same nick he raised. He is someone glenn has loved, but never truly known after the swap with jodie. “You’ll never see the reasons i had/for keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you” nick will never really know the choice, the sacrifice glenn made when he called for the switch. He will never know the pain glenn saved him from losing two parents. “I am selfish i am broken i am cruel” represents all of glenns self hatred and negativity. I think at certain points pf the podcast he genuinely believes all of those things about himself. “I am all the things they might have said to you” is glenn being terrified nick will end up exactly like him and so deeply hoping he doesn't.
The light behind your eyes: this song is from glenn’s pov in prison. “If i could be with you tonight/i would sing you to sleep/never let them take the light behind your eyes” the idea of him being able to get out and sing this for his friends around a campfire, or sing this softly to his son one last time keeps him going. “I failed and lost this fight/never fade in the dark/just remember you will always burn as bright” is glenn literally losing the court case and getting sentenced to the prison, he is the one fading in the dark, and the only thing keeping him going is the memory, the brightness, of his friends and of his son. I also think glenn sang this to nick as a lullaby when he was a little kid.
Death as a fetish: this song also represents glenns incredibly negative internal voice. The repetition of “i will never be good enough” is all of his internal thoughts that he will never open up about or share with anyone.
The soccer journals: read for a better explanation below
Hey there delilah: read the post linked below for an explanation. @that-one-queer-punk pointed this one out to me and actually wrote a fic based on it, and I’ve linked it below if you wanna check it out, it’s good shit.
Cold cold man: this for me is young glenn when he and morgan are just starting to get together. He’s very devoted to her and he truly believes “the only bed worth sleeping’s the one right next to you” he can appear to be smooth, suave guy who sleeps around, but he honestly enjoys a monogamous relationship and would never betray her that way.
Therapy: glenn needs therapy. Plain and simple.
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chryblossomjjk · 1 year
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I can already foresee dilf will be SO GOOD
omg hi friend!! tysm!! i really hope you guys enjoy it!! def a challenge bc a lot of the dilf content i love, and im sure you guys love aswell, is sweet n fluffy! this is a bit of a different interpretation of that concept so im kind of afraid that it might not work out to well but idk i like the plot so far!! so could either flop or you guys are going to really enjoy it LMAO PLS DONT GET UR HOPES UP FRIENDS WHAT IF ITS HOT GARBAGE PLS!!!
but idk, something about like a stoic, cold, mysterious dilf intrigues me lol. there will still be fluff ofc bc bby yul is precious and deserves the world lol. she is everything to him yall like his heart is 99% her fr
but yeah def few dark themes here. the really heavy one is mostly subtext though. it’s never explicitly stated, other than in the warnings obvi but yeah. also trying to branch out a bit with my writing. i feel like the two interpretations ive done of kook have been fairly similar, so hoping this will be an exciting change of pace for your guys!
still having a hard time w miss oc though!! i don’t think she’s going to be as big of a personality or presence as the other two. like she’s in it and we’re seeing from her pov but i think this is a more jk focused fic yk?
also angst is my fav theme if you couldn’t tell RIP but i promise ill try to alternate so im not just hitting yall with depression at all times lmao. next fic is chatroom, which is super light hearted and fun. it’s for the nerds LMAO lots of anime talk 😌✌️
ANYWAYS LMAO LET ME STOP RAMBLING THANK YOU FOR BEING SWEET AND ENCOURAGING ILY LOTS
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sungbeam · 2 years
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oH ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
rahh chip !! ilyily hope this makes ur day semi better :(
found below the cut is my director's cut of the oneshot i know what you are (nomin)
request a director's cut!
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okay so if u read the author's note on the fic, i kinda explain how this idea came into fruition? but really, i was in my writing seminar and somebody near me said the words "twilight fanfic?" and because we were focusing on parodies, i was like,,, heh wait a damn 😃 and thus, i wrote this monstrosity (i have a love-hate relationship w it), but if u were one of the first few people who found me via twilight nomin, then omg hello !!! :D
(fun fact and tmi: i wrote this by hand in a notebook 💀 crazy right, i wrote fanfic in an actual notebook)
i never intended to make more oneshots, but a couple people convinced me and there are now four of them :') but here it is:
The air around you froze, as if all of time was physically frozen from a gust of wind. You rubbed your bare arms in a poor attempt for warmth. A chill ran up your spine just as a presence filled the space behind you. You had come into the woods behind the school alone, a mistake you would do well not to make again.
i really wanted to reflect the atmosphere of this specific scene, where bella is in the shadowy forest, alone w someone she now assumes to be a vampire (a creature of the night). you'll find that in every oneshot, there is always one element that loyally reflects the original twilight franchise
"There's no need to be afraid, sweets."
i had to figure out a pet name for jaemin to use that would make sense, considering his species lol so i thought sweets would be pretty good LMAO cuz he,,, yknow,,, is supposed to drink blood,,, and he thinks reader smells,,, okay i'll stop—
"I know what you are,"
"Then say it," he prompted gently. "Go on, darling. Say it aloud."
"You're a vampire."
these are a few more points that r pretty similar to the franchise where the vamp "reveals" himself to our human character. i thought the way it was in the franchise was really cringe tho :') so i tried to word it in a more natural way! low-key still sounds cringe, but oh well lol
Jaemin lingered behind, so you didn't hear him mutter "Damn dog" under his breath
i actually LOVED writing this particular paragraph. i only pulled this line, but the entire paragraph is an insight into the vamp-wolfie rivalry, as well as jaemin's own point of view (yeah, it switches pov here essentially). i also thought "damn dog" was so funny when i came up w it :')
You poor thing, you didn't even know the predators were right in front of you.
oh, obliviousness. at this point, u still are not aware that jenos a wolf man, so when he growls, reader thinks there r wolves in the surrounding forest. it's just super ironic that the wolf was right next to reader instead 🤡
"Demon," Jeno snarled. 
Jaemin smiled tightly. "Mutt." He mocked a bow. "What do I owe the distinct displeasure of seeing you on this fine morning, Alpha?"
have i mentioned how much i LOVE BANTER ?? literally even just rivalry like this, the banter is always so much fun to write. just the pettiness OOZING from either male had me cackling in delight. i've always wanted to call someone mutt in a fic before ,,
Jeno stepped in front of you, placing his body directly between you and Jaemin. Jaemin stiffened; the monster inside of him did not like this—at all. "Stay the hell away from her."
now this is an important moment in the fic bc it sets up jaemins attraction to reader too. "stay away from him" was written after this one, so i hadn't yet included that awkward lab scent scene. but here, his demon soul is like,, hissing? it doesn't like jeno standing in the way of getting to their mate
okay im getting so carried away 😭😭😭 i honestly should have focused more on the latter half of this fic cuz it's my favorite, but i'll let u guys read it and tell me what ur favorite lines are :))
ty for reading this far again if u did!! u r loved and appreciated ty gn hehe ^_^
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sankyeom · 2 years
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aaaa hi belle it's caelin again i hope u remember me 😼 kinda late because i had to go on an impromptu trip and the internet was so whack, i was barely able to open tumblr </3 here to rant about anti-romantic bcz i absolutely loved it ☝☝
ok first of all you're so ?? good at writing 🤞 ?? like i knew the direction the plot was proceeding in— and i don't mean this in a bad way yk, predictable plots are fun to read since the anticipation is over the roof— what i mean is that the way you present makes everything like 5-10 times engaging, doesn't matter how common or unique the plot is
coming to the plot, you ate it, ma'am. devoured. slayed. left no crumbs. getting your best of the net and flannery o'connor as we speak
im loving the ynhoon dynamics ?!?!?! they're so adorable. everything is so healthy and they're such a green flags fr im glad they tried to get to know each other instead of simply believing the rumours spinning around ( heavy on this from yn's pov like she knows hoon's a fuckboy but my girl knows how to pick hints and join the dots, she's down to genuinely know the 'real' him instead of the fuckboy sunghoon, i love that for her )
and sunoo, jungwon and niki scheming ( and failing ) help that was adorable. we love protective best friends. the reverse psychology going down the drain got me in tears please, they can't outsmart yn me thinks </3 as for heeseung, jake and jay . . . bestie . . . they're stupidly smart or smartly stupid, there's no in between lmao. loving how jake is absolutely definitely certainly ready to climb up yn's bestie list ( tbh same, jake ) only to get her drunk bye
besides, i really like how there's no third-grade-high school antagonist with unrequited love ( saerom ?? saerim ?? serum. serum is an exception that man is problematic but not really i'm glad he stayed out of their business most of the time ) it's literally just sunghoon and yn and their miscommunication but also a lot of communication because yn is straightforward and talks it out ( except that one time. well i can't blame her i'd get the same idea if someone i just kissed ran away )
always supporting the un-fuckboy sunghoon agenda he's too pretty and cool to have chick flings, he deserves a permanant solution 😍👊 anyway i'm running out of things so say </3 but glad you wrote anti-romantic !! it was fun to read. hoping you're having a good day / evening ^_^
hi caelin!! yes i definitely remember you, we talked about my gamer wonwoo au last time 🥰
first of all, thank you omg you’re literally so sweet i’m blushing !! i’m pretty proud of how my writing has improved, especially in terms of smaus, so i’m very grateful that you are enjoying my fics so much 😌💛
i always think that it’s important to write about open communication and happy, healthy relationships because we see so little of it in media?? like i feel like the conflict for tv shows and movies is always so toxic for couples and just super unnecessary. thank you for recognising and loving that part of sorry, i’m and anti-romantic 🥹
i almost didn’t put serim in the story as a conflict, but i kind of wanted a tangible example of the mc being afraid of commitment and thought the story could use someone who has known her and hooked up with her, if that makes sense? like i wanted someone who wasn’t a closer friend of the mc’s to be surprised by her dating someone but i didn’t want him to have too much power in the overall fic lmao 😂
you are a literal angel and i am so grateful that you took the time to write this, thank you again caelin!! you are an absolute sweetheart and i am always here for a quick chat about anything that’s on your mind 💞💞
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sollucets · 1 year
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again, "graduation" [this is not the title] is not about thua or the world remembers. but they keep invading their way into my brainspace while im writing it
i'm cursed. i swear i'm cursed
i started musing about this in the tags and wrote. Too Many Damn Tags? like tumblr cut me off. i didn't even know tumblr could do that. so here they are out loud under the cut
#a kind commenter told me they'd want to see me do thua reconciliation scenes #and i didn't answer because i couldn't promise them i would #because i can't fuckin make up my mind about how id approach it #sigh. personally how i think it is #is that akk forgives thua basically straightaway because #1) he thinks he deserves it #2) they committed functionally the same crime so it would be hypocritical #and 3) he wants kan to be happy #so akk is like 'yes i was miserable and terrified and i have mental illness now' (like he didn't before) #but like. i always thought that would happen that's why i was so afraid to tell because i knew i'd deserve it \#2. 'the same crime' i mean literally that's what they did #(note: i rowan do not think this. akk was cult peer pressured into it and from that pov could've lost everything if he hadn't. thua... had other options) #i think the only part of the crime akk might actually be mad about is the journal stealing but that's because it really hurt aye #speaking of hurting aye: this is the only reason he's upset re: outing too #and so thua will get like. browbeat or guilted or whatever into apologizing to akk and akk will be like 'why someone had to do it' #and hell go 'i dont care but i want you to apologize to aye' #and that will not go nicely #because in the end aye cares about in this order 1. akk and 2. everything else #this is actually one of my favorite things about akkaye lmao. aye abandoning his morals #like. obviously he doesn't become Evil and he still wants akk to admit to it and all that i'm being a little dramatic #but..... if it comes down to it. in the moment. he'll pick akk every time because he loves him#and maybe he'll feel bad about it but he still Will #(this is also true of akk --> aye as far as rulebreaking and whatnot go) #so a thua -> aye apology... the thing is that i don't think thua feels guilty about anything short of the outing part and even then... #like. i think it's a bit. 'how do you like it' #aye outed thua to his mom for better or for worse. aye hid akk's secrets from thua. aye encouraged him to speak up and then Didn't
#so..... i don't know that thua would feel. 100% sorry #maybe that he hurt him. like on a personal level. they were friends #but without the context of 'aye being desperately in love and being the whole reason akk stopped and still trying to get akk to come clean'#man idk
and as a result to me i think that conversation would become a fight
in 'choices', i had aye sort of. forgive but not forget for the sake of group cohesion, which i do think he'd do because he is a lonely boy and these are his only friends here and also For Akk's Sake.
i also did that because choices is a gentle and fluffyish fic about akk getting used to pda and, as you can see, if i got into it i'd lose my damn mind [gestures up the page]
and in the end, truly, the people who deserve thua and akk's apologies are the world remembers. they deserved better than that "phi welcome back :)" because who Wouldn't say that!! theyd just been approached by all the prefects at once and their two bullies like.... are you gonna be anything less than perfectly polite
i'm even more torn about how to hypothetically handle "akkthua apologize to the jums" because i have even less insight on how They would respond to it agh
AGH
ahem. i have strong feelings on episode 11 of the eclipse. i continue to do so. dont even get me started on chadok ill be here all fucking day
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zombabiee · 2 years
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These two guys came in to stock up the beer and one of them was looking at me and I noticed him and yeah he was cute i aint gonna lie. The whole vibe of that situation put me in a good mood because of stuff we were talking about and i guess i sort of came off as bubbly. I said bye to them and waved at the guy. Then couple mins later his friend comes in and tells me the other guy wants my number. It boosted my ego so much lmfao. I asked how old was he and he was in his 20s and idk i guess me trying to see how that looks from an outside pov was like hmm maybe i should say no. So i just said no but i cant help but think maybe i should of said yes or even told him to tell him to come inside himself. Idk im not that hung up on it because he thought i was cute and wanted my number like omg??? And he talked about me with his friend when they left, probably hyping me up?? Like yes pls lmfao. he was fine asl too but missory told me that im too young and i was like dam thats what im afraid of lmao idk if its a good idea or not but i think imma eventually gonna do it because no one around here is really around my age and most have experience already so its like my virgin ass has to rip the bandaid off someday. It just made me feel so much better about myself and hey he stocks here so maybe ill see him again and i might just say yes. I doubt i hurt his feelings cause I DOUBT im the only liquor store girl he’s seen at his job. But yeah It just makes me little nervous cause id wanna do shit in private and dont really want anybody in my family knowing im going out with guys. And it seems sm work to hide it all and gain experience like😭 id want to stop writing in here and start living lmfao. If i see him again i hope he asks again. But yeah point is that whole situation just reminded me that i need to work harder on myself like i need to be ready in every single way possible, physically, emotionally, financially, and gain my independence. I dont want to go to college but this is definitely gonna be good so i can get out there. (Also i can walk as much as i can and starve) Maybe its shitty rn but that whole interaction really motivated me because i realized that i can be desired at my worst so just imagine how ill be at my best. Im going to be my most perfect self when im 19. I have to give my everything to my future self. Shes gonna be so happy.
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dr3amofagame · 3 years
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haha your snippit abt the dispenser got me thinking.
Dream gets let out of prison and he talks constantly, whatever is on his mind. And he's positive all the time. To a fault where people walk over him. And it doesn't make sense because he was tortured right???? But after an incident they find out it's because he hates the sound of silence and needs constant reminders that other people are there. Also he was punished for any negative emotions in the prison so his default is happy now,,,
hi anon !! this concept makes me SO goddamn sad ,, the idea that he Has to be happy bc anything else would mean punishment im so *punches the walls*
this ,, ficlet is honestly. pretty ooc, not really related to the ask at all, and mostly an excuse for me to cry abt c!dream and c!punz for an excessive amount of time (technically the vote on twitter was supposed to have this as c!sapnap pov, but i just wrote one for him so i went for c!punz instead. mostly bc i wanted to write him LMAO). hopefully someone enjoys it despite *gestures vaguely* all of that mess
tw: trauma, disordered eating, implied torture/abuse, blood, injuries, unhealthy coping mechanisms, emotional distress, thoughts of murder/mercy killing, mentioned animal death, dark content
In the end, it’s all rather anticlimactic, the complete opposite of Dream’s vault and the whole fiasco of adrenaline and theatrics that had made up that day. Quackity ended up having one too many drinks, bragged about the wrong thing to the wrong person - Punz doesn’t know the specifics, only knows that one thing has led to another and suddenly Sapnap was screaming at his ex-fiancé, sword pointed at his chest and tears streaming down his eyes in the middle of the Community House floor, everyone else stood around and watching. A look into Quackity’s office said everything he didn’t - the chests and chests of used and new tools, shiny and sharpened and completely rusted over with blood and everything in between. There’s been a balled up shirt in the wastebasket, completely unsalvageable from how saturated it was with blood, more red than white, and perhaps most chilling of all the calendar, marked with X after X in red pen, going back months and speaking to their utter failure to see what had been happening all but right in front of them.
With Quackity down, Sam caved not too long after, and with his input getting into the prison was no challenge at all. The only thing holding them back were bad memories and the tense, worried edge to Sam’s jaw as he led the small group of them - himself and Sapnap, actually entering the facility, Bad and Puffy waiting outside - carrying them through winding corridor after winding corridor and lava pit after lava pit, until they’d come to stand before a chasm filled with flowing lava, slowly draining before the main cell.
“I- I have to warn you,” Sam had muttered, uncharacteristically hesitant, “it looks…pretty bad,” and Punz would’ve questioned him further, but the lava had fallen far enough to reveal the topmost edge of the cell, so they let Sapnap hound the Warden for information as they directed their full attention on the cell itself and holy shit.
Nothing Sam said could’ve possibly have prepared them for the sight - it was a complete fucking bloodbath, crimson painting the walls and smeared over the floor and splattered over every visible surface like some abstract art experiment gone wrong. The stench of iron and burning flesh and viscera was awful, even over the gap marked by the still-draining lava. Punz strained his eyes; at the very back of the cell, huddled, unmoving, was a similarly bloodstained shape that must’ve been Dream. They remember the crack of Sapnap’s knuckles meeting Sam’s face and breaking his nose, remember themselves chucking a pearl and feeling along Dream’s neck desperately for a pulse - everything beyond that became a swirl of voices and panic and crying that makes their head hurt to think about, so they don’t.
Recovery is…messy. The physical side had been bad enough - pulling Dream out of the cell, barely breathing, limp in his arms and far too light, all Punz could think about was a sheep he’d found a year ago, frail and struggling to breathe, one he’d ended up killing - quick and painless - with a sword through the skull because it seemed kinder than letting it suffer. Watching Dream struggle on the bed, laid up in Bad’s mansion because none of them knew if he’d survive going any further, body resisting the potions they’d slowly forced down his throat after being so over-saturated on them, temperature spiking and heat baking into his skin like the lava from the prison had been imprinted onto his body, Punz feels the same strange mixture of pity and unease, wonders if it’d be a hell of a lot kinder if they just put him out of his fucking misery.
Still, because Dream is a stubborn bastard, against all odds, he ends up surviving - his fever breaks, the potions begin taking effect, and a few tireless, aching days later his eyes flutter open, lucid for the first time in a week. Punz isn’t even in the room when he wakes, only knows that it happens because the too-quiet room suddenly erupts in noise and activity, muffled thumps and sounds of a struggle undercutting Bad’s frantic calls for someone to help, anyone, and they run into the room to find Dream thrashing on the bed, wounds reopened and blood dripping onto the sheets, eyes wild and wide as his head whips from side to side so hard Punz is half-afraid that he’ll straight up break his neck. Somehow, worst of all, not a single scream falls from his lips, nothing but muffled whines squeezing past his mouth, clenched shut, and for a singular, awful second they wonder how long it took before he realized that screaming was useless.
Fortunately enough for them, or unfortunately, it’s not like he can tell the fucking difference anymore, the panic and strain end up with Dream passing out altogether, and they trade uneasy glances with Bad before going to clean off the worst of his wounds. If everything they’re doing feels hopeless, dressing up wounds that’ll be torn open hours later when Dream is awake enough to feel fear but not much else because he’s forgotten what it’s like to not be afraid - well, that’s for them to think and everyone else to pretend not to agree with.
Weeks pass along the same vein - Dream wakes up, panics; they try to calm him down, fails; he falls back into unconsciousness, and they move on and pretend that they’re cleaning up wounds from battle and not from someone that’s literally been tortured for months on end. People stop by, occasionally; Puffy spends more time than not inside the mansion, but hardly ever enters the door into Dream’s room, Sapnap and George drop by occasionally with potion brewing supplies that the rest of them can’t go out to get; once, he’d gone out to the front door to find a chest with an enchanted golden apple, sender nowhere in sight. He knows that the server is busy; Quackity’s admission had brought more than a few secrets to light, and from what they understand, the political fallout has been pretty damn messy. Still, he stays in the mansion, and watches.
He doesn’t exactly know why he stays. They’re not a stellar healer, not beyond what they know to dress their own wounds, and spend most of their time doing odd-and-ends tasks for Bad, who looks more tired than ever. Maybe it’s because he’s seen Dream at his worst more than the rest of them, had been there through his entire fall from grace, watched as his eyes became clouded with anger and madness and a single, desperate hope that he’d chased at the cost of his world and himself. Maybe it’s because they have no ties to the rest of the server - not to Las Nevadas, falling apart under the scrutiny of the eyes that now fall upon it, not Snowchester, caught up in the chaos, not the Badlands, half-dissolved after the fiasco of the Egg and with Sam’s actions having just come to light. Maybe it’s because above everything else, he feels guilty.
They’d thought the prison was the answer. It’d seemed too simple, back in that Vault - a perfect answer, because everyone else was perfectly happy to watch Dream die another time and some part of them had clenched painfully at the thought even thought they knew it was for the best. The prison meant that he’d be alive, if angry, and at some point when he had the time or the nerve or the guts he could go and visit, and they would talk, and Dream would be angry but with time maybe he could even understand.
They hadn’t wanted this. He can’t imagine anyone wanting this.
“Punz?” They don’t jump at the voice at their back, they don’t, but Bad still has a tiny, tight-lipped smile when they turn around anyway, eyes creased in the corners and still not as bright as they’d been before the Egg. Bad looks at him knowingly, setting a bowl of soup into his hands. “For Dream, if you can get him to eat.” He shifts a pointed gaze towards the door. “Maybe you two could talk.”
“About what?” The words come out harsher than they intend, and they take a moment to bite back the mostly self-directed anger that Bad doesn’t deserve to receive the brunt of. “I just-” he waves his hand in the air, trying to articulate the mess that is his relationship with Dream without the words to explain it. “I don’t know, man.”
“You don’t have to talk about everything,” Bad says, calm as always, eyes flicking down to the bowl of soup in his hands. “Just start with the soup.”
Punz sighs. “I’ll try.”
He enters the room in a single, fluid motion, mostly because he knows that if he were to stop at the door then he’d never actually make his way in. Dream flinches back when they enter, eyes going wide and stance going rigid, and the familiarity doesn’t make the sight any easier to bear as they wait, as always, for Dream’s eyes to clear enough for him to realize he’s in the mansion and not stuck in that same obsidian hellhole.
“I brought soup,” they say, finally, when Dream looks up. Dream’s lips twitch up in what he probably means as a smile; between the still-healing gashes on his face and the fear that flashes over his expression, still, it comes out as more of a grimace.
“Thanks.” Dream looks away. “I’ll eat it later.”
Liar, Punz thinks tiredly, moving closer to set the bowl down on the nightstand by the bed. They frown as Dream’s expression goes slack and distanced, again, eyes fixed to stare blankly at the wall once again.
“You should have some now,” he tries, careful to keep his words even. “You need the calories.”
“I’m good,” Dream says, automatic, just shy of sincere. “Thank you.”
“Dream,” they don’t quite succeed at keeping a displeased sigh from falling from their lungs, and bite back a curse at themselves when Dream pulls back with a silent flinch. It’s so goddamn hard, to talk to this version of Dream, both of them feeling around the edges of their relationship like walking on goddamn eggshells. A few months ago, he would’ve straight up called Dream out on his bullshit, get it through his thick skull that the whole ‘I’m fine and don’t need anyone’ act was stupid and completely failing to convince him. Here, they bite back another sigh, look forlornly at the bowl of the soup on the nightstand, sure to go uneaten once again, and force themselves to sound completely neutral when they speak again. “Alright. You’ll have to eat at some point, though.”
“Mmhm,” Dream hums noncommittally, once again staring at the wall. Punz stares at his hands. This is so fucking pointless.
“So,” they say after a few seconds, Bad’s words echoing in their head - they can try to make an effort to talk, sure. It’s just that Dream’s not going to cooperate. “How are you, man?”
The words come out stilted, awkward. He looks up to watch Dream’s expression, as the other man begins to gnaw on the inside of his cheek.
“I’m good,” he says, words deliberately light. “You?”
“Dream…”
“I’m fine.” Dream’s voice sharpens suddenly, breath hitching, before he shakes his head and turns his head away. “I’m fine.”
Punz looks at him incredulously. “Are you serious? Do we need to get into exactly how not-fine you are?” They wave a hand in his direction, jaw clenching when he rears back. “Do ‘fine’ people lose their minds from someone waving at them, now?”
“I-” For a second, Dream glares at him, eyes burning with a familiar, irritated fire that Punz knows all-too-well from having it directed at him a few too many times, before it suddenly dies and Dream is swinging his head back to the bedsheets, hands tightening on the cloth as he stammers. “I- What do you want?”
Punz breathes a soft sigh, regret blooming in the center of their chest. “Sorry,” he mumbles, careful to keep their gestures overly-telegraphed and away from the other man’s face. “I’m just- you’re not okay, man. No one’s expecting you to be okay after...all of that.”
“But why?”
Dream’s voice is small, nearly a sob, and Punz directs wide, alarmed eyes to where he’s hunched in over himself, knees pulled to his chest, hands staring at the sheets pulled over them. “Why?” he says, again, quieter, lip trembling slightly.
“Because you were tortured,” Punz begins, words slow as they watch Dream’s expression, trying to pull out the thoughts behind his averted eyes, “Because the cell was inhumane, and nobody deserves to be treated like that. Because you were hurt very, very badly because of what we did, and none of us are expecting you to be fine right after going through months of trauma.” He pauses. “You know that, right?”
“But I’m out,” Dream says, quiet, disbelieving, instead of answering their question. “I’m out of there. It’s over. It’s- everything’s good,” he whispers, more to himself than to them, hands curling into fists and then uncurling. “I’m- they said I would never get out. And I’m outside, and it’s not- not the cell, and I get real food, and Quackity doesn’t visit anymore,” he shakes his head, eyes squeezing shut as his breath catches in his throat. “I’m happy- I should be happy. Right?”
“Oh Dream,” the other man flinches back, breath quickening, and Punz’s hand stops short from where he’d almost let it fall onto the other’s shoulder. “You don’t have to be happy, man. Not- not after all of that. Not if you’re not ready yet.” Dream’s eyes, wide and wet, rise to look at their own, and they feel more than hear the soft, wounded noise that leaves their lips. “It’s ok to be hurt. It’s ok to be scared. No one’s blaming you, alright? No one’s gonna hurt you anymore.”
This, more than anything, seems to be the breaking point, because Dream collapses forward, hands flying up to pull at his tangled hair before Punz manages to ease them away and into his own hands, watching as he grips onto them until his knuckles go white. His breathing shudders, quiet, even his sobs muffled as to make as little noise as possible, and they murmur meaningless croons and hums as he cries into their chest.
“I wanna- I wanna be okay,” he hiccups, and Punz smooths his hair back behind their hand.
“I know,” he swallows around the lump that has risen in his own throat. “I’m sorry.”
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thefoulbeast · 3 years
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Writers tag game!
A big thank you to @saathiray for the tag! This looks like a really interesting one to do!! :D :D
Alright, let's get into it...
How many works do you have on ao3?
21!
What's your total ao3 word count?
ough.... maths..... if i wrote the numbers down right, then 187 780 words! :D
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
To no one's surprise, most of there are blue exorcist fics haha :,D
1. Clickflight. (71) 2. Ad terram nullium. (61) 3. Oh, my worst emotions. (60) 4. Human(oid?) (59) 5. aranea et flamma (42)
Do you respond to comments; why or why not?
I do! Well, almost every time (but the comment has to rub me the wrong way / confuse quite hard to make me not respond). I don't really know why? It just feels polite maybe shdusdh
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
I'm not sure any of my fics have particularly angsty endings 🤔 They're mostly ambiguous or menacing in some way hahah... Perhaps Ad terram nullium or Oh, my worst emotions are the angstiest ones. Cor Aegrotum is also a good contender because it definitely ends on a bitter note. :D :D ahh idk lmao
What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
Another difficult question. Not sure. Speak fondly upon that memory is probably the most feel-good fic I have so I reckon it has the happiest ending 😂
Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written?
I don't think I've ever written a crossover, no. The closest is a current wip that's like characters from one thing in the setting of another thing? But I didn't keep any characters from the thing I got the setting from, not sure if it counts as a crossover lmao.
Hope this made sense <3
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
No, I have not, thank goodness! Perhaps quite lucky, since I know one of my faves isn't too well liked in the fandom lol. But it's a small fandom, and the character isn't very popular so ¯\(´・ω・`)/¯
Also, I'm not exactly a well known/popular author so. I can just do whatever I want most of the time lmao
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I have written smut, various kinds of it. >//-//>
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of. Hopefully not :D
Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, I haven't ^w^ I've considered trying my hand at translating fics on occasion though, I like translating stuff well enough. Not that anyone needs fics translated into latvian much 😂
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Nope! But I think I'd like to try someday maybe, because two authors and friends I look up to a lot (jay & rynoa if u read this ily) collaborate on a lot of fics and they always come out so cool and good and solid and i think that's so neat that creatives can come together like that?? like wow!! truly amazing and beautiful to witness <3
What's your all-time favourite ship?
Genuinely don't know!
I've come back to a specific collection of Tarn/Deathsaurus (from the transformers more than meets the eye comic) fics a whole bunch so I guess that's as close as it gets!
I... have a hard time remembering stuff I like outside of the periods I am obsessed with it, you see. Currently I'm reading a lot of star wars fics so there's a lot of kylux and some gingerpilot?
it's really hard to say, im not sure i have an all-time favourite , more just a bunch of faves i come back to from time to time
What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
A fic I started about Tarn from transformers getting some kind of head injury and having to re-learn how to speak? I really like the concept of it because his voice is how he kills and all that, but I just don't know what direction it could go in anymore. It's more of a thing I can ponder about privately rather than something I want to bring to a finish and publish, if that makes sense?
Other than that one, I have a whole bunch of fics I started in fandoms I dipped my hands into but never found friends and stuff off who to bounce my ideas so the motivation kind of died. One of those was a thing for Gotham's Penguin - I was going to do like a life story in vignettes but I recognise now I won't finish it :D
What are your writing strengths?
I sort of? Idk how to put this in a way that doesn't sound too self-aggrandizing, but once I get into a character's head, I get into a character's head. Multiple people have praised my characterizations, one even going as far as to say that the voices sound like the canon and that's something I hold really dearly in my heart and which makes me feel v warm inside. ;3; <3 <3 <3
What are your writing weaknesses?
World building and having more than 2 people in a fic 😭 I focus so much on the character I'm writing about that sometimes it's hard to think about everything that happens around them, or to make the other characters have enough depth! All my fics are like... sticking to a single person, deep pov style. I would like to get out of my comfort zone more and try and write fics that focus on more than one character!
What are your thougts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
There's a time and place for everything! Usually I just hope that there's translations in the end notes 😂😂 But it can definitely help in making the reader feel as helpless and confused as the character who doesn't speak the language :D
What was the first fandom you wrote fic for?
Ib, the rpg game, I think? At least that's the first one I wrote fic for on the computer, I think I might have written something like yugioh fanfic in a notepad in sixth grade 🤔🤔 afraid i've lost both, though
What's your favourite fic that you've written?
ahh... difficult question...
I think it's sort of a tie between Somnus and Even a worm will turn? They're both about Toudou and I like them for different reasons. Somnus just came out so beautiful and poetic, I think, a lot of meaning packed into just under 1k words, whereas Even a worm will turn is like a beast full of negative emotions and violence and all the dark stuff and the way the soul blackens as it goes down the slippery slope between what one feels they have to do and what is right that i managed to get out in a weirdly cathartic way... It's really hard to decide on this question hahah...
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As for tagging my fellow writers and friends: @shiroufujimoto @29rynoah @tonguetiedraven @kugisaki-nobara-rights @yuriotoko @inuyoshie @bluewindfall @emperorsvornskr
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99adelheid99 · 4 years
Text
cool so since I’m procrastinating anyways on my school work im just going to write a character study on beast! dazai
because I re read it and im sad and asagiri just loves to make everyone suffer
so spoilers for the beast au
((BTW IM SO SORRY TUMBLR MOBILE ISN’T LETTING ME CUT THE POST TO A READ MORE SO IM GOING TO TRY TO DO IT ON MY PC AND HOPE IT WORKS IF IT DOESNT IM SO SORRY;;;; ))
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asagiri has already decided to make dazai a tragic character and break our hearts once, but he decided to also rip them out and spit on it.
in the canon world, we see dazai struggle through depression. ever since he was young he found there was no value in living as he says to mori in the fifteen arc. he tries throughout his life desperately to understand just why humans strive to live, why they fight so hard for their lives and work hard to live life to the fullest.
it’s no different in the many other worlds The Book had created, and that lonely hole in his chest is probably much bigger.
as explained by dazai in the light novel, the power of The Book does not effect him because of his ability, since The Book itself is an ability, dazai naturally cancels it out. because of this, dazai can practically “read his own memories” from the canon world. so he knows everything that happens in the original universe, that goes for every single dazai in every single au. every single one.
this in itself is probably one of the saddest things. if people not understanding dazai didn’t hurt enough in the canon world, imagine how horrible it is that the beast! dazai had suffer with this knowledge alone, because as mentioned, it’s not wise for a lot of people to know about The Book since the world they reside in will become unstable, and have a chance of disappearing.
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at the end of the light novel we also learn of dazai’s plan. why he captured gin, and why he wanted to bring akutagawa and atsushi together.
it was for odasaku.
because dazai has the memories from his “original” self, he remember odasaku. he remembers how he died, he remembers that they were best friends, he remembers how odasaku was the only person who understood dazai to his core, he remember how much odasaku means to him.
but odasaku of this world doesn’t remember it at all. because to him it never happened. there is only the beast world and the beast world alone.
this is where the angst hits (harder lol)
dazai figures out (at some time idk when) that this is the only universe that odasaku survives (im not sure how exactly, im assuming he can read the memories of the other dazais? Idk)
he remembers odasakus passionate of becoming a writer, he remembers odasakus determination not to kill just so he could write his own novel.
and because I really do believe dazai has a heart shrouded in all that darkness, dazai wants the best for odasaku, dazai wants to make it so odasaku can continue to survive and write his novel.
so dazai being dazai makes this extremely elaborate extra ass plan to make sure it happens.
dazai knows that this world has a chance of disappearing since every time something is written down in The Book in any other au (I think? I believe it can be any one of them not just the canon one) The Book doesn’t create it out of nothing exactly, but borrows from other worlds to create what is written in the book to reality.
dazai’s afraid that this world might cease to exist, and if it does odasaku won’t get to write his novel in this only universe he survives in, odasaku won’t he happy and dazai doesnt want that.
now extra ass osamu here uses a lot of cruel tactics to get to his end goal, and it isn’t right at all, but I still have to sympathize because its just so painful lmao
during akutagawa and atsushi’s final battle, dazai goes to the lupin bar where he meets odasaku for the first time in this world. I feel like dazai fought with himself a lot not to visit odasaku during this time, probably wanting to do nothing else but to run to his old friend that he missed so damn much. and I think he couldnt resist in the end, I think he desperately wanted to see him one last time because from the very beginning he knew his own fate.
one of the many (lol) things that hurts me during this meeting is how dazai immediately jumps happily into conversation with odasaku when he sees him, how he invites him quickly to sit down with him (in which odasaku does but doesn’t sit right next to him, which seemingly hurts dazai, ouch my heart) and how he picks up conversation that dazai would normally have with odasaku in the real world, asking him if anything interesting happened to him that day or telling him about new suicide methods he tried, which leaves odasaku heavily confused as he kind of awkwardly replies to each question.
now because the pov during this scene is in oda’s, we don’t get know exactly what dazai is thinking, but oda describes his posture and reactions well for us to take a guess of how hard it is for dazai to not have probably the most important person in his life not know or care about him.
dazai tightening his grip around his glass, or dazai looking like a happy child in one second to trying to compose his emotion with a small smile in the next, these reactions happen when odasaku keeps bringing up how he doesn’t know dazai and how confused he is. and dazai trying to hold onto something, someone, who made him so happy. trying to ignore the pain he feels and grasp on to the good memories he has but odasaku doesn’t.
and then there’s the part in the bar that asagiri decided to write because he’s a writer and like all authors, lowkey likes to see his audience suffer.
when dazai calls oda by his nickname odasaku once again trying to get him to understand him, the man replies:
“Don’t call me Odasaku. There is no reason of an enemy to call me that.”
yeah I cried
I cried a lot
dazai’s reaction didn’t help either.
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The young man suddenly seemed to have trouble breathing…He fought against something invisible.
in this world, dazai probably mastered concealing his emotions (he does in like every world, but he’s much more grim in this one so) he put up this wall and put on a mask for everyone but odasaku, he let his wall down and odasaku didn’t acknowledge it, didn’t bring him some sort of comfort like he did in the canon universe. not intentionally of course, not because odasaku was cruel, but odasaku didn’t know dazai as anything else but his enemy. for all he knows, dazai could be trying to manipulate him.
theyre enemies. they could never be friends in this world. but dazai seems to still try, even a little.
in the end, they part ways. dazai putting on that mask once again, and acting like this whole meeting didn’t just destroy him. because it would be worth it in the end, odasaku would live, be happy, write his novel.
dazai would suffer, but that’s okay. odasaku hates dazai, but that’s okay.
because odasaku is alive. odasaku is happy. and to dazai that’s enough.
we get to the ending that no one wants to read because we’re already in pain and we know asagiri is waiting there with a shotgun to deliver the final blow.
dazai arrives after akutagawa and atsushi’s fight to reveal his reasoning behind his plan. how atsushi and aku have to work together protect The Book to make sure this world doesn’t disappear just for oda, and he mentions how no more then two people can know about the existence of The Book also for the protection and stability of their world.
atsushi decides to so some quick maths then, and realizes in horror that dazai has slowly made his way to the edge of the building.
he pleads with dazai to not do it, but theres obviously no stopping him.
and in that moment I believe for the first time in a long time dazai is truly content.
the hatred towards him is heavy, but it doesn’t matter to dazai because odasaku is safe. he completed his mission.
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dazai planned all of this from the very beginning up to his death. now, arguably, despite dazai’s heartwarming end goal he was still an awful person. he was abusive and manipulate. he hurt and killed others to get what he wanted. he was not a good person
but he suffered so much for the sake of one person, he knew his ending wasn’t going to happy, but the end goal was enough. the end goal made it worth it.
osamu could never tell anyone about his pain, not even his best friend. he had to instead put on the mask of the cruel boss of the port mafia. people either had to hate him or fear him. no one could ever love him, no one could ever care for him. and osamu knew that. from the very beginning. asagiri truly wrote a tragic but beautiful character.
now if you’ll excuse me im going to go cry :)))
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Ok whoa whoa whoa WHAT??? That was??? I— *sits down* ok so …. I get why the reader becomes so angry after they kissed. In her mind she has always careful for Jk. It’s so obvoius to her that she has always looked out for him (a little cold and distant but that’s what happens when u live this life) but for Jk I guess this opened a whole new world for him. In his mind she doesn’t care for him, never has and never will but now that she said she has always watched his fights, saved him from the fire and remembers his scars it’s like it clicked for him. But the reader doesn’t know that. It’s so frustrating to read from an outsiders pov because to the reader this is Jks new way of messing with her, making her look weak while for Jk this is him realizing that she does care. The cliffhanger killed me and Im so excited to see what’s gonna happen in the NeXT chapter. Prob a lot of awkward tension and missunderstanding. Neither of them is that great at communicating lmao. Oh also the readers sister? Precious bean
Sitting down is indeed required to read that chapter I'm afraid 😂
This is actually a really good analysis of what happened! OC is just extremely not aware of what goes on in Jungkook's head, and she also really doesn't understand the way he perceives her, which is why he often throws her off completely. Like here. I hope you'll enjoy the aftermath of this!!
So happy you enjoyed Nari!! She was a real joy to write.
Thank you so much for the ask! It has been so much fun reading about opinions about this chapter eheheh
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zpetlovesglitter · 4 years
Text
The Wicked Powers Theories
The Wicked Powers has recently been getting me excited WAY too much - which says a lot about how weird I am since Cassie hasn’t even started on it yet (LOL).
aND, so, I kind of thought it’d be nice to jot down some predictions and theories on how the series might go and maybe some thoughts on THE SHIPS (that really do be the real TEA).
So.Here we go.And do let me know about any thoughts you have on this topic as well - I read anything about TWP like a crazed creature these days istg.
1)The POV has already been envisioned to be from Ty, Dru and Kit. I absolutely love this settlement since they are all very intriguing characters. Ty is an interesting person and his actions are always unpredictable, so we might enjoy this one. And,I believe he is at The Scholomance while the story progresses, followed by Livvy (Ghost Livvy, I mean).It’s still unclear what Livvy’s situation is, so I can’t wait to know more about that - it’s bound to be something unexpected. And, as for Dru, it’s kinda obvious. We all know that WE HAVE A LOVE TRIANGLE COMING UP. But, other than that, we also know she attends The Academy and finally starts to makes some friends and even has that really close Italian (..or was it Spanish???) Shadowhunter friend who’s her age and Cassie also revealed that the two are really tight indeed. And I will be honing in on the Love Triangle soon - I told you I’ll be trying to spill whatever tea I’m guessing at.  And, as for the last character WE HAVE KIT! OMFG YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE OLDER BROTHER KIT.LIKE GOSH DARN IT HE IS SO ADORABLE AND MINA IS SO EFFING CUTE I CAN’T EVEN-                          AND KIT’S TRAINING WITH JEM AND HE IS GOING TO BE A WELL-TRAINED SHADOWHUNTER IN TWP, SO YAYYYY!! And, I absolutely CANNOT wait for MinaXKit interactions, they are the cutest siblings ever and I absolutely know that Mina grows up to be sarcastic. I can’t wait for the possible sarcastic arguments between Kit and 4-year old Mina. YOU THINK I FORGOT ABOUT KITxTY? NOPE.THE REAL SHET’S COMING UP.
2)Now,we know that the storyline is going to have something to do with that Faerie Heirloom that was from the Rosales Family. And, Cassie also said it was going to be kind of an Arthurian Legend-ish story. If you don’t know the Arthurian Legend, I suggest you read on it. I’m not sure if Cassie meant the characters and LOVE Aspect of it or the LEGEND aspect of it as in the stuff about Excalibur and all. But, for now we’ll view it in both and examine it, shall we?
King Arthur's reign ends after his wife and best knight have an affair.
This is the drama in the legend.But, there are no relationships with the MCs yet. So idk. I’m clueless. Like, maybe Dru has a relationship?? Okay I’m clutching at practically nothingness so don’t judge me. :/
So,it’s obviously something to do with the LEGEND.
I am afraid I cannot say too much about it, since I have never read too deeply about it. But, here’s some of the basics:
-He managed to pull out Excalibur from the rock it was stuck in.
-He wielded Excalibur for the people and not for his own self-interest.
-He gets help from a wizard named Merlin.
-The peeps go on a quest.
And I have this reference from a website..I’ll hit u with the link as well, if you’d like to read more on it like I did
Arthurian legend, the body of stories and medieval romances, known as the matter of Britain, centring on the legendary king Arthur. Medieval writers, especially the French, variously treated stories of Arthur’s birth, the adventures of his knights, and the adulterous love between his knight Sir Lancelot and his queen, Guinevere. This last situation and the quest for the Holy Grail (the vessel used by Christ at the Last Supper and given to Joseph of Arimathea) brought about the dissolution of the knightly fellowship, the death of Arthur, and the destruction of his kingdom.
(I’ve linked it with the text above.)
So,now I thought this was interesting- the destruction part. After all, it’s something I’m expecting about the Shadowhunters. Will the Clave maybe be destroyed? Or maybe Faerie will be destroyed? So,there were three things that brought on this uh Destruction.FIRST, his wife and his best buddy were going behind his back and doing them lovey-dovey stuff. And they all go on some quest to retrieve something important to them. So, this sounds like something plausible to be the plot of TWP. Maybe the Heirloom’s missing? And who goes on the quest though? Maybe they venture through Faerie? BLAH MY HEAD HURTS SOME THINGS ARE BETTER TO BE SURPRISED WITH ;)
-----I kinda scrolled back up while writing about Janus down there and remembered CLARY MIGHT BE TAKEN HOSTAGE LIKE YESS AND THEY GO FIND HER MAYBE?
3)We will defo see Christina, Mark and Kieran at some point- no worries, Emma and Julian too. Happy Couples! XD
4)So,then we can look forward to Dru and Jaime’s interactions. I am absolutely excited for this the most, as a shipper of the two. If you remember, we saw Jaime ignoring her for a while back there at the end of QOAAD and then he says “See ya at the Academy soon ig”. I really do hope they meet and hang out as friends, at least. I am excited to see what kind of trope it’s gonna be tho. Like, do they ignore each other and remain awkward until they start the adventure stuff in the book where they eventually have to talk to each other after years or smth. Or, maybe they’re really good friends rn. But, what I’ll warn y’all shippers is that they might not end up together, and could wind up as brother-sister-ish kind of best buddies. Which is equally cute a relationship imo. It’s a really sweet thing to be, really. I lowkey hope Cassie spins something beautiful for their relationship like a sibling-like best friends kind of thing. But, I feel like they might have feelings for each other in secret. Or maybe they date. Or maybe they suppress their secret-feelings for the sake of friendship later on in the book and end up having that really sweet friendship I was talking about.There are SO many options and that is precisely why I am so freaking excited.
5)JAIME ROCIO ROSALES.       Like, I have this gut feeling that he might end up being my fave male protagonist character in TSC. He’s got it ALL. Like, the sense of humour, the looks, the bubbly yet brooding personality, the quirks and OFC THE FRICKING NAME ITSELF IS CUTE AF LIKE BRUH I CANNOT WAIT TO READ ABOUT HIM.I have so much to say about Jaime but I’d rather we let ourselves simply wait for the crumbs Cassie might give us or maybe reread all his parts in TDA like I do everyday or just wait for the book to come out rather than simp for someone we know nothing about yet....
6)Ash Morgenstern.         He’s a cute lil bean.        That was random and untrue lmao. He’s not a ‘lil bean’. He’s totally badass with dem wings and all, but we know he’s soft inside for Janus and ofc Dru, I believe. I find him the most intriguing character, honestly. I would love to know what goes through his head. He’s actually, like, the one character in TSC that I don’t have all figured out. He gon surprise us all for sure tho. He is awesome. That’s all I have to say for now. And he looks up to Janus which is SO GODDAMN SWEET AHHHH. And THE WINGS I CANNOT WAIT TO READ MORE ABOUT THE WINGS IT SOUNDED SO BADASS ISTG I LITERALLY CANNOT WAIT GOSH DARN IT. But he really do be a cute lil bean lowkey tho.
7)Kit and Ty LOL. I have no words really. But lemme tell you how it might go. There is definitely going to be some kind of reunion. AND THEN THAT’S WHERE IT GETS CUTE. They could either be awkward and we know what tension that gets us-perhaps some whisperings of My Watson...(?  ;) and maybe they go all sad and brooding with dem looks later OR, they could be the sweetie-pies they were before and be happy and all HIII BUDDDYYYY MISSED YAAA LESS GO BE DETECTIVES YAY BURN IT UP MAH BUDDY!! Either way it’s going to be cute af and we know it . TRUST IN CASSIE Y’ALL.I trust Cassie to let this ship sail the seven seas and seven more like it deserves.
8)Ash and Dru So, Ash has a strange lil fixation on Dru and I believe he even thought she was ‘pretty’ or something. It was definitely a good adjective, but I think he said ‘pretty’. idk but we know he likes her. and I can imagine a nice relationship. I can picture them with her hair flying in the wind and they meet for the first time or smth. IHNI WHAT IM SAYING. But, there will be DRAMA. They are going to be real cute with each other YOU CAN BET ON THAT.And, by cute I do not necessarily mean ‘Oh, you have the loveliest eyes’ or some shet like that. I have a feeling it’s going to be a case of ‘Well,that’s not weird or anything YOU WEIRDO - NO U - NO U - NO U’ However this relationship is going to go, I know that it’ll be a sweet one.And, for all you shippers of these two, I have no assurances that HE IS THE ONE or anything but he is definitely a candidate. Jaime is going to be some competition I can tell. So, idk. It depends on the Jaime x Dru ship to decide things for Ash x Dru ship imo, since it might be a no-brainer if the two have feelings for each other- I mean,Jaime is an actually perfect love interest in TSC, while Ash is strong potential Best-Friend material, so it’s ONLY if Jaime and Dru don’t like each other that way that Ash could make it as a love interest. So, if y’all wanna find out what’s in it for you guys, ask Cassie maybe about how the Jaime x Dru ship might go, the next time u wanna ask her ;)
9)Tavvy and maybe the kid Helen and Aline might have had We were getting hints of another baby, so HERE WE GO.Tavvy might have a playmate. :D. YAYYYYYYYYYY
10)Janus  I’m honestly worried about him. He is a worrisome character. I hate empathising with the antagonist, personally. AAAAHHHH . I hope we see some character development in him. I really don’t want to see him as an antagonist in the story. He’s sweet and feels cheated, but he should realise that it ain’t Jace’s fault but SEBASTIAN’S fault. I would like for him to make amends with Jace :( And, also, he might get the story started in TWP tho idk. But, seriously tho, when he went home in that short story and Ash asked, “I thought you were gone forever?” or something of that sort and he shook his head sadly and Ash went soft for him. Like, that fricking broke my heart. I love this relationship tho. And, i hope Clary and him can be good friends. But, I feel like he might end up dying to save her or smth and make us all cry . T_T
11)WHAT TF IS GOING ON WITH THE SHADOWHUNTER POLITICS RN THO?HOW AND WHERE ARE THEY ALL SURVIVING TOGETHER WHAT IS THEIR SYSTEM AND STUFF THIS IS NOT A POINT WITH POTENTIAL THEORIES COZ HONESTLY I WANT TO BE SURPRISED BUT I THINK THEY MIGHT ALL JUST BE IN HIDING AND THEN IN TWP THEY MIGHT HAVE TO COME OUT FOR A QUEST OR SMTH AND WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE SHADOWHUNTERS AT THE CLIMAX OF THIS WHOLE SERIES??? IT IS THE END OF TSC SO IM SCARED AND KINDA SAD TOO :(((((((
12)Thule We might learn more about the Thule world and maybe they restore it or maybe the Quest is in Thule. idk. we don’t know much, but Thule will most probably be explored a lot. Cassie wouldn’t have opened up Thule for no reason.
13)Zara and Emma  Showdown? Befriend e/o ? What’s in store for these two? If it’s a showdown we get to see CORTANA YAY I AM OBSESSED WITH CORTANA NOW BECAUSE OF CORDELIA AND HER OBSESSION GOSH DARN IT WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME
14)BIG WAR I see a huge war coming I just know it. It’s a climax so there MUST be a big war and so I cannot wait! Feel like there’s gonna be some deaths as well. Lowkey feel like Jia might die. I can feel it. :(
15)The best-friend shadowhunter of Dru is a nice thing to look forward to! I can’t wait to read about the two! And I love the fact that Dru is finally exposed to new people. And, for anyone who’s confused as to how she goes to the Academy, in QOAAD she only said she’ll have some maturity done AFTER some years .  Those years are over and she at the Academy now hecc yeah I BELIEVE THE BFF IS CALLED THAI AND SHE’S FROM THE SPANISH INSTITUTE CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG???
16)Magnus Bane He is literally everywhere. He gon be here too. No worries for all the Magnus Bane stans. He’ll make it here without a doubt!  Good for you :).  and the entire community of shadowhunters they literally always need him  17)THE MAIN MAIN PLOT THE SHADOWHUNTERS SHOWDOWN IS OBVIOUSLY GOING TO ALSO BE RELATED TO THE PRINCES OF HELL COMING TOGETHER AND I AM TOO SCARED TO LOOK TOO INTO IT BUT WE KNOW SHIZ COMING GNJODIFPEDWEFHUGBJ VM
18)THIS IS KINDA RANDOM BUT I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE SELF-ESTEEM GROWTH IN DRU LIKE PLEASE SHE QUEEN MWAH
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silver-wield · 3 years
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Im replaying the og right now and I’m at the Kalm flashback. When Cloud is in Tifas room reading her letter he mentions he remembers the 2nd part of the letter well because there was something written about him. Thing is, he wasn’t mentioned by name instead the guy who wrote the letter was talking about how all the boys liked Tifa. So Cloud actually confirmed here that he was one of those boys because he says there was something about him in that 2nd part (he wasn’t talking about the 1st part)
Another thing I noticed was how actual Cloud stopped to look at the water tower and Tifas house while patrolling. That whole flashback is full of Cloti if one actually looks. One thing that confused me, how did Cloud know what happened in the reactor when Sephiroth and Zack first enter? He was outside guarding Tifa. Does he actually gain Zack’s memories when he created his persona?
Yeah, the first part of the letter mentions Cloud by name, but the second part talks about boys who liked Tifa.
I just made it here to Midgar but all I think about is Nibelheim.
Hey, Tifa... Is that stupid old water tower still working?
Is the old man at the Inn doing well? Are my parents still at the shop everyday? Have any monsters attacked?
And most of all, how are you, Tifa? It feels like I haven't seen you for years.
We were all talking about you last night.
Everyone likes you. But because everyone idolizes you, I couldn't very well stab them in the back.
I always acted cool, but actually, I was just afraid of being jilted.
Wow, if I keep writing like this, this'll become a love letter!
So, I think I'll stop here. Take care. I'll write again.
P.S. Write me back, okay?
This seems like what Cloud wants to say to Tifa, but hasn't been able to. Which is sweet af and he needs hugs *Throws Tifa at*
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Okay, this is a dmw from CC that shows the first night Cloud arrived back in Nibelheim. You can't see it very clearly, but he's standing beside the water tower. So, yeah, he went there when he got back and he's revealed to Zack that he's thinking about the past. So, the promise with Tifa is in the forefront of his mind, which is also why he hides from her at his mom's house, and why he's all stroppy teenager during that conversation in 7R's dream sequence in chapter 8.
As for Cloud's persona, it's explained poorly in the game, but yeah, pretty much, he took memories, experiences and stories from Zack and used it to craft a more confident version of himself. In Remake we can see part of Cloud's cool guy act is based on Sephiroth and Zack from the two fighting styles he uses, but the bulk of the memories belong to Zack, although a lot are blocked. It's a big mess, but basically works like how a method actor behaves like the character they're playing. Cloud's not totally aware of this though, which is why we see the two personas together in chapter 7 after he falls from the catwalk. The soldier persona has no idea he's not real Cloud, while the actual real Cloud is prevented from rejoining the rest of himself by Jenova and Sephiroth, which is why we saw him appear in Cloud's head, too.
We ship Cloud with therapy above everything else lmao
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It's in this part of the Crisis Core ultimania that details how Cloud took on Zack's traits and mannerisms to survive the trauma he endured.
Hopefully, we'll see more clearly what's going on with the better graphics and povs. Should be freaky af lol
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