super obsessed with your art, seb looks soooooooooooo stunning!!! I am now very curious however, only if you feel like going into it, as to which other historical figures you align with which drivers?👀👀

AAAAAA tysm Grace!!!! Though I am so so so sorry for how rambly and long this post is gonna be, but you just asked me abt one of my brainrots!! I will answer your question but also talk about my history alignments and AUs in general LOL

But if I'm making comparisons of F1 drivers and historical figures, my brain kinda forces me to make it an AU because I'm like "this needs to make absolute sense historically and contextually.)

So, tbh of the four historical AUs that float around my brain, only two of them are really specifically about certain historical figures. The four are: Nandopoleon(About how Fernando reminds me of Napoleon), War of Spanish Succession(mostly about that era, but Seb and Nando are supposed to be paralleling Charles VI and Philip V), Napoleonic Hussars(which is about how , in general, Hussars = F1 drivers), and Rennaissance Muse(this just happens to take place in a different era.)

Explaining my AUs and the historical contexts(proceed with caution, its a lot)

Nandopoleon:

Okay so I'm really really am so deranged about Napoleon = Fernando, but I’ve not posted about it too much because I wanna make a well thought out post about it. But basically I think they’re similar people with similar characteristics and motivations. There was this period of time over the summer where I was only brain rotting about how well any of Napoleon’s quotes fit Fernando(with my fellow nandopoleon confidant @/sweatyflytrap haha.) Here’s some quotes as example: 

“Victory belongs to the most persevering.”

“It is not necessary to bury the truth. It is sufficient merely to delay it until no one cares.”(Piasco era lol)

“Victory is not always winning the battle…but rising every time you fall.”

“From triumph to failure is only one step.”

"A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of colored ribbon."(trophies y'know)

"Always carry champagne! In victory you deserve it, and in defeat you need it!"

Tell me Fernando wouldn't use these as instagram captions! TELL ME!!! But the other thing that was driving me crazy is how well excerpts from the personality/image section of Napoleone's wiki line up with testimonials from Fernando's doc. Examples:

"He cheated at cards, but repaid the losses; he had to win at everything he attempted."(Napoleon) "Whatever activity I take part in, I have this compulsion to find the compeititon in it."(Fernando)

"He could rapidly dictate a series of complex commands to his subordinates, keeping in mind where major units were expected to be at each future point, and like a chess master, 'seeing' the best plays moves ahead"(Napoleon) "When you talk to him, his mental capacity is so strong. He's talking to you, but his brain is thinking ahead"(Fernando)

Like c'mon tell me they aren't at least a bit similar??? There's a lot else I find similar about them but I cannot list my whole manifesto here skdjlsd

Anyways this AU would be Fernando as Napoleon and would be Webbonso -> Strollonso. Basically, Napoleon had two wives: his first wife, who was older than him and who he was super in love with, but had to divorce because they couldn't have kids, but he still loved her deeply. And then his second wife , who was much younger thanhim and from the Austrian royal family, and this was a politically motivated marriage but they still got on pretty well!!(also it's funny, before she married him she didn't want to be with him because the public perception of him made him out to be not the best guy, but then she wrote to her father about how loving and kind he was. very Strollonso, no?)

War of Spanish Succession:

Mostly explained it here and here. I'm not too interested in either Philip V nor Charles VI themselevs as individuals, but rather the roles they fufill in the "story." Though I will say, I got hit with a brick while reading Charles VI's wiki when finding out that he apparently had several male lovers! So I guess my AU having an arranged m/m marriage isn't even that far off the mark hahaha. Why did they have a 13 year war, they should have just arranged a marriage between the two canidates sigh sigh. But yeah, mostly Austria vs. Spain, I think it fits well with the Vettonso rivalry!! They would end up being: Fernando I King of Spain and Sebastian I Holy Roman Emperor hehe. Also I sketched some more:

Napoleonic Hussars:

Explained here as well as with art, and more art here. I'm really still proud of the points I made, I just feel very ardently about it!!! Not about any specific figure, but rather a historical group that I think lines up extremely well with F1 drivers. But this one is fun cause I can kinda insert any driver into it and they'll work pretty well. It's fun to figure out what kingdom what driver would be, either based off their nationality or the nationality of their team. I remember vividly staring at a map from this era trying to figure out where Maranello would be....But like Renault = Kingdom of France and RBR = Kingdom of Austria, and stuff like that

Rennaisance Muse:

Mostly just this post, I've not thought about this one incredibly deeply. Mostly just brainrot about how I think Seb looks like The David with his curly hair

as a guy that loves getting into obscure media that like. maybe 5 people talk about now. it is interesting the difference between consuming media that is SUPER popular and everyone loves your fave (a curse i would never wish upon anyone. the posts will never be good) and a media that like. there is NO ONE actively posting about. it has barely any fan presence online. and honestly its kind of peaceful

Anon said: Okay so scrolling through ur jjk makes me even sadder actually. Amazing art tho dont get me wrong ive been here since u were into haikyuu but god this is just adding salt to the wounds. At least its pretty salt with emotional value and stuff

HAH it’s okay I get where you’re coming from lmao personally I find it healing for me specifically to spend a few straight hours in a universe where they’re all happy and okay, but I can see why for some people looking at the could-have-been’s might make it more obvious of how bad things are in canon actually rip

Anon said:Hey bestie its me. I did catch up to the manga. Wtf im in so much pain. But when i recover i apologise for the spam reblogging. Anyways damn. Damn. Just. The manga really hit me

So glad to hear it got to you too 🙏 sorry for the pain, but, I mean, it’s good pain isn’t it! at least there’s that haha

Anon said:your drawings of gojo being clingy to suguru is so cute! ahhh now im thinking about how infinity must makes gojo touch starved so everytime after mission when he knows he's not in danger anymore he always clings to suguru and never let go like an overgrown koala😭❤

Anon the thought of Satoru keeping his infinity off for Suguru and Shoko exclusively and of Suguru being still an exception even after everything till the very end keeps me up at night it’s my favorite headcanon I !!!! love just how deliberate on Satoru’s part every received touch is, it makes the fact that he’s willing to be touched by them so much more significant  😭😭

Anon said: What are your thoughts on Wakunan, if you still in Haikyuu? My favorite member is Matsushima.

I AM in fact still into haikyuu, but anon I’m so sorry I straight up had to google who these guys are I totally forgot they even existed ??? I feel so bad oh my god 😂 I’d say it’s fair to guess my thoughts on them are non-existent m( ,_, )m sorr

Anon said: Wanted to come by and say I love how you do faces and expressions and mapping in your comics. U are super talented and I love your art style, I hope the universe brings you something nice bc your work always brightens my day when it comes across my dash

ANONNNNNNNN the nice thing the universe brought me was your ask!!!! this kind of stuff is so rewarding to hear thank you so much!!!!! <3<3

Anon said: hiii have you added any jjk prints to your redbubble yet?

Not yet! Still trying to figure out if there’s anything worthy of being uploaded on there, since 99% of it was made on procreate and I’m still figuring it out... I’ll see what I can do! Thank you for being interested!!!!

Anon said: It’s been a while since you’ve drawn BNHA! I kinda miss it tbh... but I bow down to your godlike art n( ._.)n Also s5 is out tomorrow and I’m so hyped!!!

Anon said: hi! no pressure, i love your jjk art its so incredible, but do you have any bnha art in the works or have you mostly left it for jujutsu kaisen? either way theyre amazing shows, just asking!

Anon said: Do you still do BNHA fanarts or has your focus shifted over to jjk totally?

It has been a while, hasn’t it! I don’t currently have anything in the work but there’s a couple things I’ve been keeping on the backburner of my brain as a reminder that I want to draw them as soon as the mood strikes - it won’t be krbk tho! Just putting it out there. I can’t say whether I’ll ever draw that again as of now, ngl, I’d need hori to backtrack on what he did with them a lot to feel inspired for them again, sadly 🙏

Anon said: as someone who doesnt read the jjk manga and only watches the anime i am very confused by everything on this blog but were gonna ignore that cuz art pretty

Oh my god it’s just a ton of spoilers for you isn’t it 😂 I’m glad you still stick around despite all of it being meaningless to you, tho!! Thank you so much!!! <3<3

Anon said: I love your drawing so much, it's inspired me to draw more and refine my own art style!! I've got a request tho... how bout kiribaku childhood friends au?? Ik you've already drawn some but they would be so cuuute as children

SUPER GLAD to hear my stuff could make you feel like drawing more!!! That’s always a wonderful, amazing thing to hear!!!! But as I said for now I don’t have any plans of drawing krbk for a while, so sorry! ;; hope you’ll understand  🙏

Anon said: Bruh your reincarnation au, for a good while my brain didnt comprehend that satoru had his glasses hanging of his hoodie but instead interpreted it as one of those school girl tie things. Bruh i thought he was wearing a schoolgirl uniform my mind was goin wild with it

I need you to know that I’ve been thinking about this ask since I got it. It’s been stuck in my brain. It’s just been constantly there. He’d rock it, btw

you mentioned in some of your tags that you don’t know what the fanon/general fandom opinions were. from what I’ve seen (I’m also a new fan) vi/caitlyn is pretty big (my guess would be because of how blatant it is), however, with...idk how to put this? average LOL fans think it was rushed and don’t like it. tumblr, of course, is into it tho. jayce/viktor is also huge. a lot of people seem to resonate with jinx and silco’s familial relationships. I’ve also seen a lot of people in the fandom not recognize the ableism in Viktor’s arc, which is worrying. if you don’t care to spoil yourself on where these character’s arcs will go in future seasons, I suggest you look up the LOL lore of: vi, ekko, viktor, and jayce. some are just...a slap to the face. anyways, have a good day/evening.

OHH okay omg (nods) tysm for a brief little insight, bc i was looking in the tag a little but it feels like tumblr's tag algorithm is a lot worse thn wht it was even before. unless the fanbase on here is smaller than wht i thought or sth HELP OK lemme dump this reply under a read more bc im rambly pjhpsrgjssfpgs

but a lot of tht hm? i THINK thats just about wht i expected - so no big surprises.

i dont blame the average LOL fans- a sentence i never thought i'd say skpgjsp - bc i can deffo see a lot of the places where it was like..eh. yknow. i said it myself. it feels a little undercooked in some places, and seemed more paced to keep it fast and snappy. like they kinda like they really could have spent more time on a lot of things- and so i presume tht'd be rllly frustrating if u were deeper into the pre-existing lore.

then regarding these little guys.... yeh i think i heard abt vi/caitlyn bein p big. :3 i still stnd by not rlly giving a damn (HELP, thats said with love i prommy)- but you kno nonetheless im happy tht ppl are enjoying a wlw relationship..... like its good they arent being sidelined by ppl. even if im not into tht scene i'll just nod from a distance.

BUT, THOUGH DO YOU KNOW WHATS SO, SO FUNNY? like ok. viktor and jayce obviously, like, occurred to me- but i also just kinda. kept pushing it to the back of my head? does that make any sense? like- jesus like. WELL DUH THEY'D HAVE SOME TUMBLR GIRLIES GOING WILD... silly me... and its like i feel like i sorta figured tht'd be going down, but it was in my peripherals out of clear sight HELP. wasnt helped by the fsct they kept separating the besties in the latter half- which i mean, obviously tht was bc of them drifting away frome ach other and stuff, but oh sniff sniff im emo nonetheless bc i rlly loved their relationship... 💖 LIKE i think its just in my head i kkinda just . i have no idea i never labelled them as anything i just kept jokingly mentally referring to viktor as his little bestie with a heart above the i, keeping them fun an ambiguous whilst medara gets her shit rock'd by him HELP PGJS[0JDH[PGKBPSD.

but also, on the subject of viktor- ah... yeah. :/ i wasnt sure if tht'd be sth tht'd be talked abt and.... the more it rlly became apparent, the more i hoped it wouldnt just be glossed over but . also ik tht happens a lot with things like this. god. i do hope tht those conversations are had at some point, more openly- like,granted im probs not gonna be knocking abt the communities on here tht much (and even if i was, im not sure how much i could really input into that?!) but yeah. thats a shame. 3:

and hm.... you know i might look into it. just bc theres some guys here im GENUINELY pretty into and idk if the show itself will fully give them their dues, even if it doesnt diverge- bc im INTERESTED... i love viktor. and ekko. and vi. sooo badly. and im super curious abt jayce. so help. i might go spoil myself now (bc in truth ive never been tht mad abt spoilers irpdgphjdhj and idk how much it counts here anyways).

THANK U FOR THE LITTLE THOUGHTS ANON. ITS NICE TO HAVE ANY JUMPING OFF POINTS TO CHATTER AWAY. i will have a good ... norning... <3 its like 2am here omg

FEH - Finally got the first merge on Hoshidan Summer Micaiah + appreciation post

With [Hall of Forms] now finished and all the rewards obtained, I can now rest at ease forgetting it, so I went to [Forging Bonds] and just got the last [Divine Codes: Ephemera 8] to give Micaiah her well earned merge, and here it is, her RES bane is no more.

While I don't see her often in [AR-D], I've come to understand why she's a good option here: she fills a very unique niche as a refresher with min-maxed attack and resistance that deals effective damage on armored and cavalry units, she aged really well as a unit despite her having one of the lowest BST values of her class but her refine will eventually come out and make her outstanding, I'll wait for it before I invest too much in her.

Anyway, this is not what I appreciate Micaiah, so I'll tell you a little story below and sum up my reasons, there'll be minor spoiler warnings and it's a tad too extensive but I hope you'll find it an interesting read if you do look on it.

I've known about her ever since I started to play Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn after I got my black Wii back in 2015 for my birthday and unlocked it to sideload USB games some time after, but it took me a little to feel like trying it and get it running, I used to be a guy that just trained whoever seemed likeable enough from looks so that I could get on, not as attentive with the plot of every game I play as I am now, but I've started to change that around the time I've started Final Fantasy VIII on the second half of 2019, a game that was truly legendary and emotional Imo.

This is more or less how I've come to known her, but I want to share what sparked interest on me for her:

It took me exactly two weeks to realize I wanted her so badly, it helped that when Lilina was announced, I'd need a [Feh Pass] subscription for just this month, and I got it with help from a friend, to date, I'm still grateful to that user for the support and for us to continue upholding a strong bond.

In any case, when the time came, I realized how charming this skin was, it's one of the best we've gotten, the Hel thematic looks wonderful on her (what a delightful blend of colors and precise styling by Sachie, same person that made the art for Legendary Julia and Sara, yes, more favs 💜) and the art is overall just too good but the best piece out of the four is the normal one I think, and I'll explain why while covering my favorite part of character talking: personality.

Micaiah is a kind and caring girl towards those she holds dear, specially the people of the country she eventually leads as a queen: Daein, located in the Tellius continent.

«I don't really like crowds. Sometimes, I sneak off to the forest to catch a break. I'm guessing the guiding hand of this army might need a break, too!»

— Micaiah: Priestess of Dawn, Fire Emblem Heroes.

She also has a bit of a bitter side but that's not how she normally comes off, yet, this doesn't come out without a reason, she was born a Branded (a human born from a human and laguz unity that end up getting a special power and an irremovable brand somewhere in their body, highly discriminated in Tellius), she had to hide her brand to anyone but her closest friends like Sothe so that she's not mistreated.

She's highly capable of selflessness, symbolized through that power she's gotten: [Sacrifice], it heals the target's wounds at the cost of her life force, she can recover just fine, but it exhausts her in return. This has allowed her to heal without staves and get the recognition from her people in Daein, like when she was first fleeing Begnion forces in Nevassa (capital city of Daein) while repelling bandit attacks, the citizens blocked the path when Micaiah and the Dawn Brigade (it's a group she leads to liberate her country) flee, but before she could escape, she sensed danger, and spotted a young guy being hurt from an arrow a Begnion soldier shot to a child named Nico, who would remember Micaiah's act of kindness for nursing him back to health almost instantly.

There were some times in which Micaiah also had to make really tough decisions, for example: Ike's army was tasked by Apostle Sanaki of Begnion to escort her to her country as they were trying to uncover the vile senate's acts, they had to pass through Daein territory, but because of a [Blood Pact] (a contract that enforces its signer's obedience to avoid a greater catastrophe) that Pelleas (that's the former king of Daein's son) signed under the false pretention that was a peace treaty the senate proposed. Micaiah had to hinder Ike's army advancement to see if she can trick the Begnion senate so she sent her soldiers to fight for that... she wanted to give time to Pelleas so that he could find a way to remove the effects from the [Blood Pact], as they couldn't just be removed normally. She had to make those sacrifices all because of a contract, and she couldn't even just tell Ike that she was forced to follow orders, the attacks from Daein forces didn't make much sense to him naturally. It was her people or her soldiers, so she had to make such decisions that tested her willpower, yet she's strong at heart and carried out with the orders she was given.

In Fire Emblem Heroes, she doesn't talk much about those events, but that's because she wishes to be free from the chains of past days, even if for a moment, she shows a friendly personality towards the Summoner and still being herself. She became queen of Daein and led her people to an age of prosperity, welcoming both laguz and human alike.

Now, all this and more things you'd learn as you play Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn (or may remember from your playthroughs) show how strongly developed and compelling she is as a character, there's a lot going in her life and she lived many difficult moments, yet she got through and grew into a kind and strong-willed woman, she truly impressed me, and I think she's truly pretty, like, I mean:

(Artwork from Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn Memorial Book Tellius Recollection: The Second Volume)

I won't deny that the Resplendent skin is magnificent and gave me the last push-up to play her home game after a long time and learn more about her, but I could see what kind of character she is and what makes her truly special... true, she's not my "best girl" (see PFP) but I still hold her dear as if she was almost high up there. And it's said that "nothing beats the original", so I certainly love her original design.

Here's a little showcase of the other two variants of her I have, I'm missing only her Bridal alt and the possible Legendary one coming later in this month, but here are them:

I love all her official art and how it manages to bring out her friendliness and tender side.

I'm so glad that so far, I've lucked out well with her IVs save her Hoshidan Summer alt, and she appeared randomly when pulling for others most of the time, so it's great to have her now, even as-is.

Her Brave variant from 2019 should be getting a refine next month or any time for the remainder of 2021, I know it'll be good but I would already love to know what it'll do before I give her anything else.

...

And here ends my appreciation post and optional read, if you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading, it means a lot to me if you've come to enjoy it.

continuted hxh thotz

we watched more so i continue my ramblings 

so we finished the trick tower stuff and started on the stuff on the island where theyre all hunting each other....wow finally some hunting in hunter x hunter 

can i just say....fuck hisoka i hate that guyyyy oh my goddddd hes the worst. i just feel incandescent rage whenever hes on screen vhbjdshfjhbsd smarmy horny clown bitch. looooord. he invokes a similar emotion to part 1 dio tbh....like i lose my domestication when i see both those bitches 

oh god that part where hisoka had just spent like hours de-hornifying himself or w/e and he looks all crusty and dehydrated and then he spots that old guy who looks kinda ghibli and he just goes AFTER ghibli man....like hisoka literally had one of those wack ass super detailed faces and just started screaming and running at that guy...like man i wouldve died instantly on the spot. jesus 

gon remains best best perfect baby boy. every time he does something so cute and pure that my heart starts palpating, i get even more nervous for the shit hes gonna go thru someday 

gon and killua are literally soooo precious theyre just two lil boys!!! two lads!!! lad boys! augh i love how much theyre vibing all the time...like on the boat to the island when theyre like refusing to tell each other who their target is and then they both start laughing and then show each other....so precious

honestly im really enjoying how they dont really have a rivalry (yet?) - theyre not like ‘yes we are friends but we’re also COMPETING! so we cant be That nice to each other bc that wouldnt be fair! or w/e you know that typical shounen stuff. i only enjoy that sometimes and im glad its not a thing rn, and if it does become like that later i probs wont mind bc i feel like itd be done well 

so ruth and i caught on to the fact that that weird guy with the pins stuck all over himself was illuminati or w/e his name is (illumi? illumini? i forget already) but HOLY FUCK we both thought he was wearing a mask....god i wish that were the case, that face transformation shit was the WORST. sir why can you do that 

also when hisoka just watched this and was like ‘i always like seeing you do that’ or whatever god gross nasty i hate them

my take on the little we’ve seen of hisoka and illumitations relationship: theyre like the catty mean girls-types but Super Fucking Weird. idk if theyre gay togther (probably) but theyd be the epitome of a ‘is this allowed? [gestures at All That]’ couple. i had more thoughts on them but i forgt 

i find it funny that they havent shown killua like at all during this island hunting thing hvbhsdhfbjdk he probably has like 10 randos badges already. i feel like he would give gon a badge or 2 if gon needed them but that doesnt seem to be the case 

when hisoka spotted leorio and kurapika and went after them i was like [guy yelling NOOOOOOOOOOO meme] freal 

thank goodness kurapika could recognize that they would Fucking Die trying to fight hisoka, and bargained w/him instead. also seeing the flashback of leorio trying to fight hisoka was so funny. my man WHAT! were you thinking 

this is probably the stage that tonpa is getting out on and can i just say thank god i hate that guy. good riddance 

that sniper lady looked cool and im bummed illuminty took her out offscreen :( i also thought the black guy with the beehive stick thing was gonna do more but guess not

i find it funny that so many characters have these loud character designs but end up not having a lot of screentime...i feel like ive been conditioned by one piece to see an eye-catching character and mentally prepare to see a wholeass backstory lol

also. illunikn is clearly a huge freak which is probably why hisoka is willing to work w/him, but his design is weirdly cute sometimes (when hes not doing absolutely freaky shit, which....admittedly isnt often)

like the part where he transforms into his True Cat Man Form and then, without changing expression, digs a giant hole with his bare hands (with the body language of a feral person) and then gets into it to nap.....like.....bro. 

also ik illiminini is killuas brother (i think brother?) and wow that family has some strong Cat genes 

i find it interesting that hisoka has been working with illiimini this whole time, hisoka strikes me as a solo type of guy who would be all like ‘teamwork is beneath me’ and only have minions (a la dio, espec p1 dio) but he seems to have a fairly even relationship w/illuimian which is wild. i rlly wonder if thatll last or if hisoka is gonna like, murder/abandon ilubimi later bc he ‘gets in hisokas way’ or st 

i like that kurapika and leorio teamed up....married

i generally really like how the relationships between the main characters are handled, its sweet how theyre just like....generally nice to each other and stuff lol 

also oh my god i forgot that last time i hadnt seen the end of trick tower i need to talk abt that 

KILLUA MY BOY OH MY GOD....ive been waiting for this ngl. ily smug murderous catboy

i love so much how killua casually kills this ~*~scary guy~*~ and everyones like :0 but gon is just like yep thats killua! hes from a family of assassins! like the way he says it so casually and kinda cheery aw i love him. he doesnt even care that killua can murder people in 2 seconds flat, he thinks killua is AWESOME 

and oh my god i love how hard killua is trying like, all the time. he is trying his HARDEST to be AS COOL AS POSSIBLE for gon and thats adorable. its working too gon clearly thinks killua is SUPER cool 

the eternally hilarious part where kurapika asked what killuas secret tactic are re: ripping that guys heart out, and killua is just like ‘uh i just ripped it out. yknow...as one does..’ and kurapika is like wow im glad this murder catboy is on our side.. 

the psychology stuff in the trick tower was interesting as hell (catch me brushing off my psych minor like, oh yeah i know abt this stuff lol)...i like the stuff abt leorio getting discouraged/disgruntled when the majority ended up being against him a lot bc thats true!! thats how it works!! it leads to learned helplessness and stuff like that...also that animation of kurapika and leorio playing cards to explain the tough candle choice was sooo cute 

i really loved the solution to the final majority rule things....ingeniously following the rules while still managing to circumvent them in ways...love it

also gon is so perfect have i mentioned that already

im so curious whos gonna pass the hunter exam, i legit have no idea and i would find it so funny if gon becomes a hunter in the first goddamn arc hjhbdfhsdjbgk as ruth said, itd kinda be like luffy becoming pirate king in like chapter 70

i mean tbf if i had to guess id say gon passes, simply bc i cant see the story taking the time to have him do the hunter exam again in a year. also his motivation is to become a hunter in order to see what its all about bc of his dad - not JUST to become a hunter 

gons fishing rod is so cute. perfect item for a perfect boy 

his training was adorable. hes a smart lad! formidable baby 

the blooderflies were so cool and OH MY GOD how could i forget the part where gon had two blooderflies with little leashes on and had the leashes tied to one of his fingers....OOOUGHHHHGBSJFHSJBFUHEJKSDD bro my heart literally palpated like it does when my cat does something rlly cute, gon is seriously That cute and pure and good

every time hisoka is anywhere near gon i just wanna call the FBI on that clowns ass oh y god. pls leave ladboy alone....

anyways i love the main characters (HISOKA DONT INTERACT) and i cant wait to see what happens next. i might have more thoughts but coherency is not one of my strengths so bye

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / OCTOBER 5, 2019 // return of josh

oooookay folks! that's a wrap! below are my comments about tonight's ep + additional expansions on previously stated opinions. i'm not combining s2 ep 1 with this bc s2 is dead to me! so is s3! i only did this to gather up all these loose thoughts i had when this show with its one lonely season became such a comfort to me that i developed a second consciousness about it. but with these posts i am done! the evil is defeated! i will carry on through the 3rd and hopefully final season of nancy drew with less emotion and better spirits. thank god.

-"talk to owen" nancy firstly thinks of talking to owen only to see what happens w the agleaca; saying goodbye comes as sorta an afterthought mirroring tiffany's possession of george. yet nancy was unable to say goodbe to owen just like w kate. knowing this reveal about kate, i wonder if this was foreshadowing that something big will be revealed about him later? unlikely but still

-nancy + the reality of broken things: 'totems' like broken sand glass sculpture (good place) to show you it's not a dream; "owen broke that" ghost trap to ground him to reality, like how she reached for her locket in the good place, lucy's charm, ace's bear ('totems' idea borrowed from inception)

-george has never been an affectionate person, even with other women- so why does pda with nick suddenly become so important?

-lots of comments about ryan + women but what about carson/kate and karen? again with the hypocritical (interestingly, there is an aspect of violence to women connected with ryan (even though that violence is not his fault); but its not like kate or karen fared well either)

-ryan feels useless- relationships with women as stated by nancy- he seeks to redeem himself by showing up where nancy goes to prove he is good to have around/necessary/needed - but now that he is attempting to act as a parent he has to break through nancy's defenses all over again- firstly she didnt really consider him any kind of threat bc he comes off as incompetent- ie bad business deals- i think i mentioned last ep, their hauntings equalize them as they both attempt to gain peace by searching for answers but now ryan has changed the terms of engagement so he's back to square one, with carson. (which is how we find them s2 cowering in ryans car stalking nancy together)

-ryan's relationship to nancy exposes an interesting layer here. so far she doesnt know about nick/george but they still hold the cards (ie george gets one over on nick's ex/"the new girl") with the revelation of ryan being nancys father, nancy gains an interesting trump card in navigating the social fallout of being nick's ex. like george would take the new spot but then nancy comes out with george's ex in a much higher category. this plays out later on in the ep when george confronts ryan. george wants to talk about "them" but ryan shows up completely focused on nancy, thus illustrating the trump

-"i thought it was whitney with another insipid question" to me this sounds like whitney took bess's advice earlier about "asking aunt diana what she wants" (only to learn it actually annoyed the hell out of diana lmaoo)

-"then you need to fight for it" this hearkens nancy earlier by asking "arent you in by virtue of dna?" the test was positive; she is a marvin just like nancy is a hudson. thats not a fact that they can change. however, diana really acts like it can be changed- and in s2 we see it does change. its interesting for bess to be told to fight to be in a family she's already in and also foiled by nancy trying to fight her way out of her own family. would like to see bess stand up to diana and say something. i mean, she exists. as much as she may want to erase bess from the family, diana cannot erase her existence

-hannah's rolled up sleeves 💙

-"previous keepers records" -from s2- were those not her parents??

-mistaken murderers- everyone incorrectly assumes lucy was murdered just as they assume the agleaca killed owen

-even if owen weren't the price, how can they pay the toll without one of the people who called? i mean if it was anything other than owen and he still died they still wouldve been fucked

-"you don't need to check, i'm not even driving!" okay and giving up the goss. cassidy is me. lmfaoooo

-wonder if this locked marvin industries box will ever come back

-UNPOPULAR OPINION: george's confrontation with ryan comes waytoo late to do anything. i think i brought this up in an earlier post. its literally just her screaming at him now. like he is clocked out moved on. you know a good time for this scene? in the claw when he comes by to "check on her". hes vulnerable, fresh from rehab. and she has a chit over him for punching bookcases/the fuckin country club deal. therewould have been a perfect time to confront ryan on what happened- "what you did to me" okay sis. you admitted ep 1 you werent in hs anymore. youre of age now. admit you fucked up. take the L to force him to swallow the bigger L. and imagine how much more powerful the scene would have been- in george's domain, literally her own office, something ryan doesnt even have because HE DOESNT DO SHIT. ryan is SO EASY to trap but nobody notices. instead they have george try to get some kind of apology out of him when hes already done with that, and only for the sake of her establishing a new relaionship to boot. imagine how much more empowered she would feel if she just got that closure for herself- because she needed it, not so she could trot straight back to nick being all proud of calling a grown man to some random estate only to scream at him in a parking lot and have accomplished nothing. 🤦🏼‍♀️

-i get patrice thinking nancy is lucy but yeahhhhh this isnt how dementia works 😬

-i almost cant with nance and josh. how do you save your would-be murderer? (+ lucy's best friend and brother are in jail, her mom is lost to her mentally; all she has left is nancy and ryan)

-tbh i had no idea how to spell agleaca until bess said "theres no i in agleaca!" i thought it was igleaka like 😂

-damn how george just stares at nicks hand and then gets out herself is just so sad (like she immediately rectifies it but still...)

-"curiosity" part II; nancy who comes back to the sea after her mother died in it- agleaca drawn to lucy's trauma/to agleaca, lucy died fir "love"- would nancy be willing to risk the same? // this is also one of nancy's "mirroring mom" moments: winning sea queen, going to the velvet masque, getting caught by celia, having a "chat" with everett, and "falling" off the bluffs

-the collector 🎵👌🏻

-i wonder if there's any significance to the locations/means of their deaths; nancy's is pretty straight forward in terms of where and how, but why george and nick drowning, in the truck specifically? drowning in love? idk. ace's at the claw i get, but he gets himself caught? in what precisely? what does the fish hook mean? and bess's makes the least sense- burning alive? in the marvin estate? maybe the agleaca picked the most painful death for the marvin blood relation? idk. up for debate lmk ya thoughts

and lastly:

-i remember seeing this ending for the first time and i had just been traumatized by avengers endgame and since black widow is also a redhead seeing that shit at the bottom of the cliff it was like 😰😰😰 TOO SOON

-random thoughts-

these are just things i noticed, feel free to grapple with them or take note of them for extrapolation in s3 (lord knows i wont be) they probably belonged in recaps for previous eps but i either didnt find them in my notebook or couldnt fit them in

•nancy and truth/the perception of truth: using facts to suit theories instead of creating theories to suit facts- nancy often plays with the perception of truth and the details that fall between the steps; but she is also a victim to them by people who also know how to play the game (ie Carson) ex lying about the dress (tea cups and knives, trash got picked up, bail paid 1 hr ago) her inferences can be off from what others tell her ("people always lie") but she can also come to the wrong conclusions organically (carsons trial) more willing to believe the best in others/wanting them to be innocent (think nick ep 1) but later finding out the truths hurts more so she chooses to isolate herself and avoid involving others to be spared pain

•maybe i'm dumb, but who is "mr marvin" exactly? owen? the bald guy from the funeral? this comes from the guy who takes sailboats out like ep 4ish and says "ive worked for the marvins 20 years" she compliments the ship, he says "mr marvin and i just took her out this morning" so?? who is that? plus last ep just saying cassidy and isaac are her "late husbands children" dows thet mean sebastian? like did diana marry in? i feel like it would be odd for her to so embrace the "marvin way" if she wasnt a true born marvin

•ik college becomes a more s2 topic but none of the crew have ever been to college 🤔

•nick + the relationships with people whose reputations are tarnished: tiffany with investigating the hudsons/marvins, josh with murder/attempted murder, kate and 'stealing'/lying about nancy (esp compared to her almost preternatural kindness i mentioned before), george and her mom/family's reputations --> this kind of segues into nick + the concept of believing people you love could be capable of horrific things- accidental or on purpose (see- having to tell his family what happened)

•at the beginning, nancy kind of seems to be the "i'm sorry you're upset" kind of apologist and knows it. she also doesnt usually apologize earnestly bc shes never really sorry (she always has to get what she needs first ie coins mess) and she doesnt want to lie; to me it seems she doesnt like to bother with other people bc they require certain cues/niceties that are often lies- they ask "how are you" without meaning it, they dont really want an honest response except "fine", they dont like it when you call them out on fakeness, etc/ they require apologies for their bruised feelings even if youre right (and nancy can be pretty rude/nasty if provoked- a harshness unsoftened by sympathy)

•cont'd from the good place ep- since kate apparently means nothing to nancy anymore according to last ep ("stop calling her my mother") is her policy of "always seek the truth" now null and void? this mantra is now tainted bc the person who gave it to her broke it so much. can nancy disengage w it now? does she fall from grace to be complicit in "mysteries" of her own like everyone else? does she lose some of her "god-like" holier than thou act bc she is now literally born and raised in the "darkness" of sins/ugly truths like everyone else's? (ie truth is ugly but not to nancy, until now)

•did lucy disappear because her "murder" was finally solved? or simply because her trauma was addressed- she never meant to tell anyone about her suicide plans, the twisted trauma of which was too great to contain/unable to move on due to "sin" - or unable to move on because secret of nancy's parentage still remained? "lucy never wanted me to figure out how she died" she only wanted nancy to figure out her parentage without solving the mystery, yet did lucy see/witness nancy's revelation at the claw, or with carson, or even ryan? waiting for karen/josh to know? or just vanished?

•concept of imperfect mom figures- lucy, kate, celia, victoria, even karen- who all struggle with failings

•since karen dispelled one of lucy's attempts at nancy's haunting at the garden party, is that proof she isn't haunting karen?

•the crew + needing adult help: george's possession and victoria, club busted and owen, car accident and mcginnis, thom and cipher, larkspur lane and sal, bones and john, agleaca and hannah

•everett is always sitting- at his home office, at dinner, at yacht club (wonder if that was his actor + had to do with his recasting?)

-dad talk-

•both her dads think negatively on her "girl detective" thing but ryan sees use in it as a means to get answers, carson would never 'use' her in that way

•nancy + carson : suffering

"what about what i wanted?" + carson being imprisoned for weeks but she immediately rejects him (the DAY he gets his freedom no less) with no regard to his suffering (caused by herdiary!!) in regards to her own from this new knowledge (she does suffer a lot- "almost dying is my new normal" but still)/ the "thankless job" of parenting

•nancy + adults - connected to cop thing a few posts earlier : nancy is v precocious and smart for her age- she is "old enough" but also has trouble with the "adults" in her life- fathers, moms, karen, and cops letting her down but depends heavily on "adults" she cantrust- hannah gruen, john sander, lisbeth- highlighting her youth and occasional naiveté; nancy is unafraid to hold adults accountable for their actions (ie karen) but also loses them as allies along the way. both hannah and john are very nonthreatening and also experts in their fields, while her fathers and karen are revealed to be "just another brick in the wall" average, capable of mistakes, and not the people she expects them to be, while characters like john and hannah can only benefit nancy because either they do not mean as much to her or have no reason/nothing to gain by lying; they are purposefully shown to be small, demure, gentle, and nonthreatening as foils/opposed to karen, ryan, and josh whom she previously trusted; carson (+kate) is nonviolent as well but has the biggest betrayal which is perceived as an act of violence to her very personhood/shattering who she thought she was so she cannot be that anymore (admits truths to john "everytime i dig i hurt everyone" and hannah-agleaca) : unclear if redemption is possible for anyone :

•nancy bonds with carson over loss and then ryan over haunting. but actually, nancy rejects carson over loss bc she wanted to say goodbye and wasnt allowed to- so carson was with kate but nancy was not. nancy and ryan are more equals about haunting bc they both start around the same time and conclude together as well [nancy and ryan bond over thinking their parents conspired to kill lucy- think sitting on the floor at velvet masque] nancy is appreciated by ryan for her ability to get answers- he has no qualms about going through her/outside of police bc he wants results/instant gratification and thinks nancy is more so the expert in her field/respects her even through her age- once again acknowledging she is braver than he is (think lucy + claw parking lot) and her portent in the car freaks him out bc shes usually always in control, esp with him

•bc nancy was told "you can't be afraid of the truth" until she was / ironic bc shes braver than him except when the truth is they are related then she's scared to tell him while he actually starts to take some initiative

•nancy picked "the wrong person" to help her through her grief in her dad's eyes like her mom's best friend was somehow a better choice? carson truly "parents" nancy even during grief and haunting (which she rejects) whereas nancy and ryan are really equals in all their situations which is actually better for her and easier for her to maintain- nancy's expectations are low so anything that ryan gives is a bonus. nancy's expectations of carson were shattered by his lies so now she has nothing to connect with him about- they could barely even connect when sharing the same grief- carson actually very hypocritical hence nancy's upset at karen revelation yet carson doesn't agree bc hes the "adult" and shes the "child" not realizing she hadnt been one for a long time (hidden staircase perhaps?) whereas ryan better treats her with lack of controlling parental nature bc he is impressed with her competence before he receives that knowledge; "lucy was smarter than me too" acknowledging her intellect negates his ability to "parent" ie control her to leave him solely with caring about her wellbeing in her situations + aftermath - i honestly dont think carson would ever admit that shes smarter than him* bc he thinks shes not "all grown up" yet ("youve kept me on the bench for years"); ryan is more willing to meet her where she's at which is so important for all her good relationships - ace, owen, etc

*carson asks for nancy to figure out "who to trust" in ep 12, finally admitting that she is useful/ie acknowledging that her skills/abilities do help, are necessary, and can in fact save lives --> this is then s2 follow up by working for him (but it takes him that long)

•ryan/nancy/carson venn diagram - using sex to escape trauma

•if not carson vs ryan then what about celia and everett vs patrice (and josh)? at this point in the narrative, do you think ryan's parents would take his side should the knowledge become public (without their involvement), or deny nancy?

•"we were a family" + the disruption of family dinner- kate was really the one holding that family together and her death makes it unsustainable

okay!! that's all folks! i have exhausted my plethora of nancy drew thoughts + knowledge. you will never have to hear from me again!! TYSSM 😘

heck ok that minhyun college au had me feelin some type of way and he's not even my bias so if you wanted could you do one for jr? your writing is absolutely wonderful and i really appreciate all you do

specialty: jonghyun is doing his residency in cardiology 

“of coURSE you want to be a heart doctor” “what do you mean?” “well it’s just,,,,,,you’re so kind and ,,,,,, loving,,,,,it just fiTS YOU” 

^probably an actual conversation between jonghyun and minki in med school LOL

but no he really does his best in all of his work, like he knows that there are limits to how much he can do for people and the fact breaks him because he just wants to make sure everyone is taken care of and is safe

but his selflessness got him into some trouble in med school because people would constantly ask to cheat off him and some even took the credit for work /he/ did

yet jonghyun never as much as complained, even when dongho threatened to fight them for him because jonghyun would just shrug it off and be like “if it helps them, then that is what matters” and everyone is always like yes but at what cost to you and jonghyun just smiles

,,,,,that damn adorable angelic smile,,,,,,,and everyone is like god you really arent a person. you’re some kind of righteous demi-god with a heart too good for your own being LOL

looks totally mature and serious in his uniform and when he does intakes for the cardiology department 

but ,,,,,, the other residents know the tRUTH

about how his ID card is actually yellow and has little flowers on it, how instead of taking the precious time to sleep he’ll stay up and read webtoons on his phone, has a collection of squirtle’s lined up on his bed 

he gets really embarrassed when the superiors compliment his work and he’ll kind of try to hide his smile but also,,,, 

as usual if someone is getting in trouble he’ll try to shift the blame onto himself and again everyone is like jonghyun please stop putting yourself on the line for others

but he can’t,,,,it’s in his nature

one time he almost got kicked out of the program because he was going to take the blame for a negligent resident but thankfully minhyun and dongho intervened in time BUT STILL EVEN AFTER ALMOST GIVING THE REST OF NUEST A HEARTATTACK JONGHYUN CONTINUES TO DO THESE THINGS 

i guess you just can’t hold a good person down lgfjds

anyway back to him being cute,,,, he always compliments minki because he thinks he looks the best in his doctors coat and minhyun is (kinda) jealous while dongho is straight out like jonghyun jonghyun look at me flex - jonghyun hey

got caught singing to himself after putting away blood samples and everyone always asks him to show off his voice and he’s like ,,, a,,,ah i cant

(but he totally did at the christmas party some residents threw and it was. amazing. rumor is someone cried because jonghyuns voice was so nice)

everyone says he flirts with patients when he’s helping them get ready for procedures but jonghyun is just like???? im being nice

and everyone is like being nice doesnt involve being so damn handsome and using a soft tone of voice and flasing that smile-

jonghyun: are you saying my face is flirting for me

dongho: thats exactly it. It’s his face you guys. look at it

did i mention he totally saw a kid holding a pokemon toy in the waiting room and did an impersonation of squirtle to get the kid to laugh. well im mentioning it now.

so it’s technically your first time e v e r at the cardiologist and you have no idea what to expect and you’re kinda nervous,,,

the lady at the front desk is like honey dont worry its all painless and fine but you’re like,,,,,,,,,,,,,not completely convinced 

and when the nurse calls you in you’re expecting that she’ll be the one with you for most of the visit but she sits you down in a room and says one of the residents will do some tests today

and you’re like ok,,,,looking around the painfully bright room and wondering about all the different tools and the big diagrams of the human heart hung up on the wall

and when the door opens you turn and,,,,,damn near fall off the examination table

because the boy in front of you,,,,,,he’s got to be??? an actor???? a singer????? is this a prank camera????

he smiles,,,,dark hair combed neatly against his forehead and he points to the heart monitor in his hands nad he’s like “im jonghyun, ill be doing some tests on you for the doctor.”

in your head you’re still like,,,,,,is this dude actually a resident,,,,,isnt he too good looking

you’re so distracted that you dont even notice him hook you up to the heart monitor, carefully wrapping it around your arm and smiling at you as he pulls back to turn on the machine

and for a moment he watches the bright numbers and he writes something down, coming closer to you you see the numbers on the machine go up

and when you glance over,,,,,jonghyun is looking confused too

he puts his hand back on the part of your arm and tightens the band a bit

the closeness is a bit much for you,,,,seeing his face up close you realize he’s even more handsome than before

and you can literally hear your heartbeat in your ears

jonghyun moves back and you let out a sigh,,,,the number begin to drop down to normal 

and jonghyun is like “that’s,,,,,odd,,,,let me see something-”

he takes a step closer to you again,,,looking at your eyes and taking out his stethoscope and you’re once again hearing your heartbeat in your ears

and after a minute or two jonghyun,,,,,looks down at his notepad and is like

“it seems that everytime i get near you,,,,,your heart rate goes up. are you nervous?”

you in your head: ofc im nervous have you SEEN your FACE

you speaking: ,,,,oh just im nervous of seeing the doctor hahaha,,,

jonghyun nods and gives you a smile,,,,he leans forward to put his hand on your wrist reassuringly

too bad you’re still hooked up to the machine and the numbers go back up past 110 and jonghyun is like oh ,,,,wow

and you’re ike gbifkdfljsfg e@ your body plEASE STOP contrOL yOURSELf

and jonghyun writes something down before taking the band off you and saying that the doctor will come in soon

and you cant even look at him because,,,,wow,,,,you really just got your heart rate raised by this cute resident you dont even know how corny gfldjcbvg u really need to stop falling for people you just meet

but as jonghyun closes the door he cant help but smile to himself because,,,,thats the first time someones heart rate has changed so drastically in front of him

plus the look of slight embarrassment on your face was so cute,,,,,,

the rest of the appointment goes by fine. the doctor is like nothing seems to be wrong and you’re healthy although ive never seen such spikes in heart beat,,,,maybe its the nerves?

and you’re going back out of the room to the front desk when you bump into someone and looking up you see him again,,,,,jonghyun

the heat rushes all up into your face and you’re like fkgdse sorry,,,,,for getting all nervous back there

and he laughs because you’re the patient you shouldn’t ever apologize and you’re like gOsh i probably looked like such a fool

but jonghyun shakes his head and he’s like “a lot of people get nervous at the doctors,,,,,but not a lot of people still manage to look cute”

and you’re like excuse me and he’s like,,,,,oh,,,,i said that outloud?

and you’re like y,,,yes??// and jonghyun is just like coyly smiling and he’s like well no use in hiding it - it was very cute, its nice to know i can have such an impact on someone

and you’re like listen,,,,please,,,, you’re just so attractive up close i thought u werent a real resident for a bit

that makes jonghyun laugh and you cant help but giggle too

you both walk out to the front desk and you tell jonghyun that it was nice to meet him,,,,,and jonghyun is like ah! before you go - here

he hands you a pamphlet on heart health and you’re like,,,,,thank you?

but when you leave you open it up and out falls a note torn from a pad and it says

‘if you ever are free - stop by the hospital again? only if you want of course~ resident kim ‘makes your heart rate go past 110′ jonghyun’

its,,,,,the corniest thing but you cant help but feel a giddiness in your stomach 

jonghyun back in the doctors office is telling himself that he really shouldnt have wote that dumb ‘makse your heart rate go past 110′ part but its DONE now,,,,so he’ll ave to just wait and see

,,,,,,,of course you come back how can you not lmao you show up at the office and the front desk women seems to know whats going on she just winks and tells you to wait while she gets jonghyun

its a short first “date” because it happens outside the hospital cafe where you’re both drinking coffee and talking about your interests and hobbies and jonghyun has to run back after fifteen minutes but,,,,

it’s enough for you two,,,,,

slowly you visit the hospital more and more until finally you and jonghyun share a first kiss near the doctors entrance to the parking lot and it’s,,,,not thE most romantic but jonghyun somehow makes it just that murmuring that after kissing you he wonders if your hearts went over 150 and you’re like jonghyun,,,,wouldnt i die

and he’s like im dying right now,,,,from your cuteness and you’re like pLEASE

dating resident!jonghyun: like most residents he doesnt have any time for real dates but jonghyun will put all of his power into making every visit of yours count, im not kidding he literally does the most of your time together whether its gifting you flowers he totally paid dongho 20 bucks to run out and buy on his lunch because he wanted to have something nice to give you but wouldnt be let off by the doctor to using his lab coat to shield you two from the other residents in the dorm when you get a couple of minutes longer and jonghyun wants to kiss you deeply and passionately but also theres like 5 other people in the room LOL, he tells you that if you ever miss him you can look up videos of squirtle - people say they look a like and you’re like if you’re squirtle am i pikachu??? and he’s like omg,,,,,yes,,,,,,that is our couple dynamic from now on, you learn very quickly that the charming, doctor to be that made your heart race is actually a Big Soft Dork, but you love it and you keep sneaking him in new comic books and snacks and every other resident is like jonghyun ask your significant other to get us stuff too and jonghyun can never say no so you end up having like a literal list of things to bring with you every damn time, you learn that jonghyun is selfless in the way he treats you like you are the only one that matters in the relationship, and tbh you dont like it because you want to show him that his needs are just as important as yours so even when jonghyun holds you in his arms and you feel that he’s trying to be polite you’re like “if you want you can put your hand-” jonghyun blushing like i,,,i shouldn- you: jonghyun we’re dating just do it if you want FGFDSg, you can tell the days that are the most hectic because jonghyun comes out to meet you with his hair a mess and his ID on sideways and you always fix him up and kiss his face and he refers to you as his sunlight in dark times and you’re like please you’re my sunlight you make me so proud (those words literally. melt him), is the type to have his family as his phone background and you’re like wow!! id love to meet your parents some day and jonghyun sheepishly admits he’s bragged about you already on the phone, adores it when you get fussy over him not taking his vitamins and not getting enough sleep and he’s always like ‘this is the life of a resident blah blah i cant stop till im the perfect doctor blah blah’ and you’re just holding his face in your hands like kim jonghyun your body is a temple - and not only your temple anymore but also mine because i love you and care about you so seriously dont overwork yourself every time, jonghyun never says it but seeing you scold him like that kind of gets him going and he always attacks you with kisses that show his urgency and you’re like !!! because as sensitive and gentle as jonghyun usually is sometimes something inside him comes out ;—) and it comes out to the point that you might have to hide your neck the next day lkdsjxcv, you wear jonghyun’s lab coat and stand next to minki and everyone is like ok now whose the best looking “doctor” and jonghyun chooses you and minki is DEVASTATED but minhyun is like finally,,,,someone has knocked minki off his high horse, jonghyun holding you around the waist cuddling his face into your neck completely ignoring everything else around you two: uhuh, he’s always saying sorry for things like sneezing our bumping into you by accident and you’re like kim jonghyun you angel you’re too good for me and this world and he’s like,,,well he’s like im sorry TT and you’re like if you say that again i will kiss you to shut u up (of course he says it again,,, and again,,,an again), you learned that he plays a lot of instruments and when he gets the chance he shows you videos of him and you’re like ,,,, how are you so talented and handsome and how am i so lucky and he’s like,,,,,,im the lucky one shh,,,,you guys are literally the ‘i love you more’ ‘no i love you more’ couple LOL, has a habit of licking his lips when he’s thinking and you’re like jonghyun dont do that around patients i feel like one of them might fall for you, dongho from somewhere: they all already fall for him, when he’s not doing his residency and you guys do get to go out you get to see cutest bf jonghyun in a soft cardigan and a warm smile and you’re like wow i love you so much you are like the human personification of wholesome goodness, jonghyun probably has a photo of you in his locker at the dorm that he talks to at the beginning of the day like ‘let make it through the day so our future is bright,,,,,my future with you’ LIKE HES THAT CUTE OK 

find other pd101 boys here: ong seongwoo | kang daniel | lee daehwinu’est boys here: minhyun 

Remarks to the Canadian Journalism Foundation

Last night I was honored with the Tribute at the Canadian Journalism Foundation awards in Toronto, Canada. Below are my prepared remarks; I deviated from the text slightly and tried to make edits below to better reflect what I said.

I want to thank the CJF and more specifically the Gala Committee - David Walmsley, Maureen Shaughnessy Kitts and Natalie Turvey - for selecting me for this tribute.

I would also like to thank Peter Mansbridge for those lovely remarks and more importantly for his decades at the CBC, serving as a beacon for anchors across the continent, speaking truth to power, and calm to panic. I know this nation has come to depend on you to guide it through times of difficulty and joy, and I know she will miss your nightly presence.

It is such an honor to receive this award, especially as someone who isn’t Canadian, someone born in New York and raised in Philadelphia. I was seven during the American Bicentennial in Philadelphia, the heart of American democracy, so it was interesting when a few years ago i began doing some genealogical research and discovered that many of my ancestors, the Huffs, fought in the Revolutionary War. The surprise was that they fought for the British and then fled to Canada. They continued to fight on your side in the war of 1812. This was of course something of a rude awakening for a Philly boy.

Of course i knew of my Canadian roots -- My mother was born in Ottawa, and came to the U.S. with her family when she was 7. My grandfather Everett Palmatier fought with the Royal Canadian Navy during World War II serving on the HMCS Cobalt, a Flower-class corvette that participated in escorting convoys in the Atlantic. My grandmother Helen worked as a confidential secretary for the Canadian government. My great uncle Edwin Palmatier, a tailgunner, was shot down and killed by the Luftwaffe in that war. There is a lake named after him in this country. In January 1917, one hundred years ago, my great great grandfather David Dyson, a pickle and vinegar merchant was the mayor of Winnipeg -- for four days. He lost the recount.

Now, if I were Tom I would make a joke about how Peter Mansbridge covered that recount. But I am not so I will not.

Grammie and Grampie and Uncle Edwin and David Dyson are no longer with us, but i brought my mother here tonight and I want to take a moment to honor her for not only having been a loving and selfless mother but for having instilled in me concepts of compassion and decency that i hope have shaped the way i live and also how i perceive my responsibility as a journalist. Thank you, Mom. I love you.

I would also be remiss if i did not take a moment to thank another great son of Canada, a mentor to so many of us who had the pleasure of working with him, my former boss at ABC news, the late great Peter Jennings. Peter was a tireless and fearless and obstinate boss. And he taught me so much and the world, and the world of journalism, is lesser for his passing.

As for this award...just looking at the list of prior honorees -- Tina Brown and Sir Harold Evans, Malcolm Gladwell, Robert MacNeill, Morley Safer and Graydon Carter -- that is pretty august company. Though the ones who mean the most to me are the 2012 posthumous tribute to Jennings and the man who did more to make me a journalist than anyone else, the late great David Carr, honored in 2013. I like to think somewhere David and Peter are watching this presentation, frustrated that they can’t break through and criticize me and make sure that i’m not letting anything go to my head. Don’t worry guys, I got the lesson. You taught me well.

And of course as well all know, people like Peter and myself get the attention, but journalism is truly a team effort. From the lowest level intern to the highest executive, I couldn’t do what I do without everyone at CNN. Everyone in this room knows what a team effort journalism is. Three from my team are here -- Jessica Stanton, John Robinson, and Lauren Pratapas -- and without them and without the leadership of my boss Jeff Zucker, as well as John Martin and Jeff Bewkes, none of this would be possible.

In three days I’ll be giving my first commencement address ever, at my alma mater, Dartmouth College in New Hampshire, and Ive been thinking a lot about what then President Eisenhower told students in the 1953 commencement:

He said: “Don't join the book burners. Don't think you are going to conceal faults by concealing evidence that they ever existed. … How will we defeat communism unless we know what it is, and what it teaches, and why does it have such an appeal for men, why are so many people swearing allegiance to it?...And we have got to fight it with something better, not try to conceal the thinking of our own people. They are part of America. And even if they think ideas that are contrary to ours, their right to say them, their right to record them, and their right to have them at places where they are accessible to others is unquestioned, or it isn't America.”

This was Eisenhower talking about communism during the Cold War and the Red Scare -- and he was arguing that the Communists should come out and engage in the battle place of ideas and we should welcome them

That battleplace of ideas is something I think about a lot

Especially when liberals tell me not to put Republicans or Trump supporters on my shows. Using Ike’s words, I ask them, How will you win an election against Trump and Trumpism unless you know what it is, and what it teaches, to paraphrase Ike, and why does it have such an appeal for men, why are so many people swearing allegiance to it?

And for those in journalism who do not understand the appeal of President Trump to 62,979,636 Americans, it is also important to try to understand the phenomenon so many of us failed to see coming. If you strip away the falsehoods and the bigotry and the occasional indecencies -- more on them later -- but if you strip those away there are propositions that are completely legitimate -- fixing a broken system in Washington, making sure the elites and the government do more to protect American jobs and lives and livelihoods. We in the media need to rise to the moment and allow these disrupting debates to happen, and let the best ideas win.

But all that said, I am concerned about the weapons being deployed by the president and forces allegiant to him in this battlefield. I am concerned about the lies and smears, I am concerned about the moments of indecency, and for this audience especially I am referring of course to his calling stories he doesn’t like -- ones that are entirely 100% accurate -- “fake news,” and thus successfully undermining the 4th estate with a large segment of the population.

On January 12, a team of reporters including me, Jim Sciutto, Evan Perez, and Carl Bernstein reported the following: “Classified documents presented last week to President Obama and President-elect Trump included allegations that Russian operatives claim to have compromising personal and financial information about Mr. Trump, multiple US officials with direct knowledge of the briefings tell CNN. The allegations were presented in a two-page synopsis that was appended to a report on Russian interference in the 2016 election.” It went on from there.

There is not one word of this story that is not accurate. And yet this is the story President Trump used to first attack CNN as “fake news.” A term that used to refer to actual fake stories -- The Daily Show with Jon Stewart or more recently the such as the nonsense that there was a Satanic pedophilia ring linked to a pizzeria in Washington, D.C. with ties to the Hillary Clinton campaign. Now it stands for stories the president does not like.

And he does not like a lot of them. And while yes there have been some minor media missteps almost all of the stories he’s called fake news have been proven to be true.

Every politician lies. Hillary Clinton falsely claimed FBI “Director Comey said my answers were truthful.” Barack Obama claimed if you like your doctor you can keep your doctor.

But the sheer number of falsehoods and factual flip-flops coming from this White House is staggering. NATO is obsolete, now it isn’t. Jobless numbers are bogus, now they’re real.

And what’s worse we have a situation now where prevarications are not only supported by the administration and its allies in the media but by an entire dark Army of twitter trolls and meme creators here and abroad who work to undermine the work and reputations of those who either oppose the president and his policies within the party or Congress or those of us in the media who are attempting to provide basic non partisan guidance on what is going on while trying to uphold basic facts and decency.

The great discomfort here for Americans is we want our leaders to be credible. The great discomfort for journalists is that if a president declares war on truth, those who try to stand by truth and defend her are then labeled partisans, or biased.

We are not supposed to be fighters on the battlefield. We are not the opposition to President Trump, we are not the resistance.

We all are trying to figure out the way to cover this new world where fact and decency often seems to mean so little. And I do think that we as journalists need to defend truth and decency.

But I also think that too many journalists sometimes allow themselves to get swept up and we cannot have that, we cannot have a world where we act like the opposition. We in the 4th estate must rise to the occasion of this challenge. And by that I don’t only mean that we work harder than ever to avoid the kinds of mistakes that undermine our profession by avoiding stories that get key facts wrong, but that we also refrain from sharing every emotion the moment we experience it on twitter. And that we consider the low regard many members of the public have for us, and that we work hard to be fair to all points of view -- even the side whose members are attacking us and attempting to undermine us -- the policies they advocate, not the attacks.

And let me say a word about those attempts to undermine. Tom Friedman writes in his new book Thank You For Being Late about the advances of technology compared to the human ability to adapt to these changes. The chart of technology looks like this…..the chart of our ability to adapt to technology looks like this. We are way behind as a society where technology is -- i recently read that the average smartphone is millions of times more powerful than all of NASA’s combined computing in 1969

So what does that mean? It means that when your Uncle shared a website called the Denver Guardian -- and a story headlined “FBI Agent Suspected in Hillary Email Leaks Found Dead” -- and spreads the story using on Facebook -- he has no idea what’s going on. His sophistication is here on the chart. The technology is here.

I have seen US Senators and US Members of the House -- and I know no one would do this in your Parliament -- but members of the U.S. House and Senate have invoked websites I do not consider to be credible -- not just on the right but on the left. Recently after Republican Congressman Jason Chaffetz of Utah announced he would be leaving Congress, Congresswoman Maxine Waters -- a Democrat of California recently lionized by the left -- went on MSNBC and said of him “There are those who think that he in some ways, have some connections to what is going on in the...Ukraine and perhaps in Russia itself, and knows something about all of this. I don’t really know. I can’t say, but he’s strange in the way that he’s conducting himself...Maybe [Chaffetz] thinks that if he rolls out and points to the fact that something is going on with Flynn ... that somehow this will raise [Chaffetz] above maybe what connections he may have with the Kremlin, we need to keep an eye on him.”

This is crazy; it’s madness. And to point out that this is going on on the Left is not to promote a false equivalence with the fact that it is going on at a much greater scale from a much larger platform on the right. 

But lies are lies. Irresponsible fact-free speculation does not become less irresponsible because of a conspiracy peddler’s political affiliation or gender or anything else.

I did not become a journalist to be a fact-checker or a truth-squadder, i became a journalist to hold people in power accountable, to try to tell stories other journalists weren’t telling, and to try to have serious discussions about the way policies impact people’s lives. Probably why a lot of people in this room became journalists.

I did not become a journalist to become a meme or to watch a younger far better looking man portray me on Saturday Night Live, although thanks for that.  But there is a lot of attention on us today as the fourth estate finds itself trying to stand up for basic standards of decency and truth.

And while it is important that we not take the bait and become the opposition that Trump and Bannon would like to cast us as -- thus de-legitimizing ourselves -- it is also important that we not sway the other direction. We cannot pretend that lies don’t need to be called out. We cannot shrug and talk about how a politician’s supporters don’t care about behavior that empirically is offensive. We cannot lower the standards that we as a society hold just for access to big name interviews. We have to be able to look our children in the eyes. We cannot not lower our standards because of attrition and exhaustion or because colleagues are making other decisions, or because Fox, Breitbart and online trolls will lie about us otherwise. 

This is a time for all of us in the 4th estate and indeed all of us in North America s to stand up for what we know is right. Objectivity. Truth. Decency. Facts.

My late grandmother, Helen McDowell Palmatier, born 101 years ago in Winnipeg, was an expert on Sir Winston Churchill, so with your permission I would like to end these remarks by quoting him.

Churchill once said: “A free press is the unsleeping guardian of every other right that free men prize; it is the most dangerous foe of tyranny… Under dictatorship the press is bound to languish…But where free institutions are indigenous to the soil and men have the habit of liberty, the press will continue to be the Fourth Estate, the vigilant guardian of the rights of the ordinary citizen.”

Thank you for this honor.