Harrow the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 37

hmm yeah it is suspicious that the Emperor has to be locked away during the attacks. he gives an explanation, but we really only have his word for it

the Lyctors seem perfectly (and very convieniently) made to be able to enter the River while still defending themselves, which makes me wonder if that was the original purpose of creating Lyctorhood, and the Emperor maybe has some kind of plan revolving around it?

now this guy is quoting fucking Psalms 26 in Latin?? thats different to the quotes from before, the fact that its religious is interesting given this guy is apparently ‘God’ now, but he’s quoting a biblical text. also given Harrow can’t possibly know what he’s quoting 90% of the time, he’s awfully pretentious

Harrow’s eighteen, i’m pretty sure she knows how babies are made dude. at least she definitely knows after you guys nearly had a threesome in front of her on the dining room table

he’s been thinking Harrow and Ianthe are a thing omfg

the mysterious A.L.! somehow i was right that the Annabel Lee poem connected to her. and her having another name, and being dead for ten thousand years, i feel like thats a pretty good candidate for the good old Locked Tomb body. at least, thats my current theory.

‘She was my Adam’ again with the biblical stuff, this guy is seemingly religious, but also thinks he’s God??

and apparently the First House was destroyed via climate change and nuclear explosions. if i needed any other confirmation that its Earth (or some equivalent) then i’ve got it here i think

also he was just a normal person before the world ended, and he was the only one who survived and somehow became an incredibly powerful necromancer. i mentioned waaay back at the beginning of this liveblog that i knew there was a guy named John who had something to do with an apocalypse, but i didn't know if i was misremembering him being actually responsible for it, or if i was mixing it up with the Magnus Archives. and i, uh, still have no clue if that is the case or not from this convo, though i do feel like there's more he's not saying about this anyway (please no spoilers about this, i really appreciate everyone explaining things to me in the notes but i'd like to find out whats actually going on with this specifically while reading)

and A.L. was not a ‘normal human being’ whatever that mean, and the Lyctors are ‘in a very real way’ A.L.’s children … what on earth does that mean? she discovered the secret of Lyctorhood maybe?

well that whole conversation both answered a whole bunch of questions and absolutely nothing at the same time 😂

well okay the dude’s gone past playing parent and just outright told Harrow he sometimes wishes she was his daughter. i really don’t know how much of that affection is genuine

imagine telling someone you view them as a surrogate daughter and they fucking. smash a glass table in response lol. and yeah if its been ten thousand years and you haven’t developed emotional intelligence yet, then i don’t think its happening mate

ohhhh shit she’s telling him about the Locked Tomb. and i suppose there are worse ways this could have ended than him not believing her at all, but i really don’t think she’s wrong, especially since Gideon said she saw her do so/saw the door open in the last book, i think she did get in there somehow

wait i was working under the assumption that it was the Emperor who’d messed up her memories, but its not! did she do it to herself then after writing the letters?

I think the "yeah why not" type of tags in reblogs can be annoying because it feels dismisive of the art itself. If you, in person, showed something you made with love to someone, and their reaction was "yeah sure whatever" it wouldnt be read as a compliment in any way. I realise that thats not the tags' intention, but it can read that way

yeah it doesn't make me feel good at all. it's like do you guys enjoy anything without irony in your hearts. anything. like i know you think its stupid but i genuinely enjoy both hatsune miku and depictions of christ. it's not "whatever yeah sure" to me

Biting the bars of my enclosure about autistic ford tonight. There's something about him using vocabulary and turns of phrase that seem "outdated" or "pretentious" that feels so painfully genuine to me. When people say he talks like that just to "try to sound smart" I wish I could explain what it's like to be so ostracized from your peers growing up that you spend all your time reading instead, to the point where you pick up your way of speaking from books instead of from people. And then what it's like for people to call you out for "talking weird" over and over again, not able to wrap their heads around why the fuck you would choose more archaic or technical or formal words than the simpler ones that surely come to everyone's minds first. What it's like to have to dedicate a sizable chunk of attention to filtering through every single word you say out loud in real time before you say it, to make absolutely sure that it isn't a word people will judge you for using or make fun of you for using, just so you'll have a chance of being taken seriously. Learning through trial and error how to filter out the words that other people don't think are normal or casual enough for the conversation, even though for you, the word choice that's "natural-sounding" enough for them is the third or fourth word you came up with when searching for the right way to phrase something in your head. I wish I could explain just how long it takes to say fucking anything after spending a lifetime doing that during every single conversation, and how repetitive and long-winded you end up being when you spend so long coming up with alternative ways of saying every little thing you ever think. And I wish people realized that, at the very least for autistic people and autistic-coded characters, speech that's seen as pretentious is really just the way they talk when they're not putting in the extra effort to filter through every word they say just so others will take the time to listen.

All I can think of when I see law carrying his sword is that if he owned a car he 100% would have one of those fuzzy coverings for his steering wheel. Like have you not seen that man's hat either.

baizhu eating chocolate,,, if he can

151: can and should are two different things

I NEEED to go back to making art that makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that theres something wrong with my brain BUT NOT in a cool or stylishly interesting way. i need to do it in a way that makes people say "hm." and walk away

idk maybe talking about my writing seems conceited for who hasn't published much of anything and hasn't finished anything as of yet, or maybe all this hand wringing is annoying, but i've written a lot of bits and pieces over the years and it's enough for me to be reasonably comfortable with the basics, you know? but working on something this long is presenting a whole other world of trouble for me and i think i accidentally put a hell of a lot more of myself into it than i meant to. so i'm feeling particularly vulnerable about it being out there and existing. it means a lot to me and that's scary!

i’m reading Dutch Literature rn and on one hand i feel real cool rn and on the other hand literature always makes me 🤨

im gonna give bunny another thirty pages and if it doesnt pick up by then it's a DNF from me buddy this shit is so boringggggg christ

reminder that not making an effort to learn how to pronounce someone's name isn't quirky or funny its just disrespectful

life is funny bc it feels like itll last forever while also feeling like it will end at any second

i think i change my mind on richard siken's crush

last post: if homophobic dads want their sons to toughen up and stop being into pansy shit, just send them to art school. nothing makes you hate art quicker than be around a bunch of pretentious artists

what is it with the trend of like. artists and cooks online shitting on their fanbase and insulting them. does that even sell. its annoying as hell.

every day my youtube recommendations are inundated with 40 minute videos titled "the rise and fall of ____" where ____ is something that is very much still alive and thriving 😔

most pretentious bastard I know just paid an obscene amount of money to go to a literary event with bret easton ellis, the second most pretentious bastard I know 🙄