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jessikahathaway · 3 years

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Baby Talk - Part I

Hellooooo!

I've had this in my WIPs for a while and I wanted to get some of it out so that you all could enjoy it! Let me know what you think and if you want more??? Tag lists are open for all of my ongoing fics so if you want to be added just let me know!

Please enjoy!

Pairing: Jikook X Reader (Jimin X Reader X Jungkook)

Genre: Surrogacy!AU, Polyamorous!AU, Romance. (Future Smut)

Warnings: Medical Procedures, Assault (not descriptive), Profanity. If I forgot anything please let me know!

Words: 11.3k (Phew chill Jess~)

This wasn’t a big deal, you thought to yourself as you signed the paperwork in the clinic.

Just, you know, getting artificially inseminated for money. Nothing weird about that right?

Becoming a surrogate wasn’t something you’d planned on in your life, mainly sticking to your job and working towards a better tomorrow or whatever they say.

You were young, healthy and full of life.

The only thing you lacked, was a full bank account.

The realization hit a little harder than you thought it would. Being a receptionist wasn’t exactly what you’d had planned for your life but, it was simple work and it made you happy.

Going to college wasn’t really ever an option for you anyways. Your parents had died in an accident when you were little, forcing you to go live with your Great Aunt until you turned eighteen. She hadn’t forced you out, but you did leave. Wanting the adventures that life had to offer.

However, you quickly realized that it wasn’t easy pickings out in the world. That’s when the notice came to the door of your apartment that you either paid your late rent in full by the date or you could get your ass out.

Fear trickled down your spine at the thought of being homeless. You briefly thought of going back to your Aunts but, she lived out in the country and the city is where you’d made your home. As much as you cared about her, it just wasn’t going to happen.

That’s when your friend Namjoon and his husband Jim invited you over for dinner.

You were beyond excited, because these two had just had their baby girl Annie.

They had used the local fertility clinic to get a surrogate and had their baby just a month prior. You had been dying to meet the little bundle ever since you heard the news they were having a baby.

God, that kid was going to be spoiled rotten.

Quickly, you had gone over and enjoyed a nice meal with the three of them. Annie still partaking in formula.

You had tried to make conversation, but your eyes kept wandering to Annie and her little hands and feet. You felt a slight clench in your chest at the sight of her round face and sweet eyes.

“Earth to Y/N? You doing alright?” Namjoon’s voice echoed through their lovely, luxe apartment.

“Y-Yeah! Fine, I’m fine,” you smiled.

“You sure?” Jin asked, getting up to take his and Namjoon’s plates to the kitchen.

“Mhmm,” you said, eyes glancing back over at the baby.

“You’re so whipped, Annie has claimed yet another victim,” Namjoon snickered, looking at the blissful gaze your eyes had taken.

“You ever want kids, Y/N?” Jin asked, coming back in with dessert for each of you.

“I guess so, I mean. Just gotta find someone to make the baby with,” you joked half heartedly.

It was no secret among your friends that you were the black sheep. Not dating, not even entertaining the notion of having a significant other. The idea was, honestly, draining.

“Don’t feel like you have to be married to have a kid, Y/N. Single parenthood is just as valid as a couple,” Jin reminded.

“I’m nowhere near financially stable enough to pop out a kid right now,” you sighed.

“No? I thought the job at the hotel was treating you well,” Namjoon said.

“Yes and no, they treat me well. But pay me next to shit... I-I gotta make some quick cash, or I’m gonna be homeless,” you whispered.

“What?!?” The two men shouted, looking at you with heartbreak in their eyes.

“Y/N, why didn’t you tell us you were struggling! We could’ve done something!” Jin says, rubbing his face with frustration.

“No-No! It’s fine, I’ll figure it out! I always do,” you encouraged, trying to keep the fear out of your eyes.

“How far behind on rent are you?” Namjoon asked.

“A little under six grand,” you sighed.

“Y/N!” Your two friends looked distraught.

“I don’t understand how a society can function like this, I hate it,” Namjoon said, looking down at his dessert he no longer wanted.

Annie started fussing, kicking her feet and wanting attention.

Jin sighed and got up, taking his beautiful daughter with him. You and Namjoon sat in cold silence for a while. Neither of you willing to talk to the other.

You were too proud for your own good. Even if it meant crashing and burning, you’d do that before you took anyone’s pity.

“How can we help?” Namjoon asked, looking at you with so much worry.

“I really don’t know Joon, there’s no where that’ll give me that kinda money with my credit and... even if they did I couldn’t pay it back anyways,” you sighed.

“Have you thought about going to school for something? Maybe you can get a degree and, I don’t know I’m pulling at straws here,” he said.

“I can’t go to school Joon, with what money? And even worse, I wouldn’t know what to go into,” you said, swallowing down some more wine.

“I wish we could’ve had you surrogate for us. We paid that woman a small fortune. Had I known you were struggling I would, maybe you could’ve done it instead,” he said quietly.

“How much did you pay her?” You asked.

“Around $80,000,” he said, shrugging.

You choked.

“Damn you filthy rich kids,” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest.

“That’s it!” Namjoon said.

“Huh?” You asked, looking at him in confusion and despair.

“You can’t be our surrogate, but you could be someone else’s!”

Your body ran cold at the thought.

“I-I don’t know if I could do that Joon,” you said.

“Doesn’t your family have a high chance of twins?” He said, looking at you with a smile.

“I mean, yes but-”

“Say no more. I know a couple that’s been dreaming of a baby. They actually were supposed to meet the woman who wound up being our surrogate. But she decided to go with us. Jimin and Jungkook, they’re really good people Y/N,” Namjoon said, smiling.

“Namjoon, I don’t know if I can have a stranger’s baby!”

“I mean I won’t force you to sign up or anything. But Jungkook and Jimin are really good guys who have been waiting forever to have a baby. They said they wanted twins but, most importantly they wanted a healthy child. How sweet is that!”

You worried your lower lip with your teeth. This was just ridiculous. There’s no way you’d be able to do it. No way.

“Let me show you a picture of them!” Namjoon said, pulling out his phone.

“Joon really-”

Although, before you could argue anymore, you saw their faces.

A smaller, blond man. Whose smile was brighter than any star. And a taller, lean brunette who looked at the camera with a goofy grin.

“Jimin is the blond, Jungkook is the brunette,” Namjoon explained.

“Okay?” You said, trying to calm your racing heart.

They were both handsome. Deathly so, it made your stomach clench in a weird way to look at them. You wondered what kind of babies they would make. If they had that smile Jimin was packing, no one would be safe. That child would get whatever it wanted.

“I’m just saying, it doesn't have to be them but they’ve wanted a baby for so long and... you could help them with that and get a lump sum of cash on the side. Bad a bing bad a boom! No worries!”

It wasn’t such a hard decision in the end.

You needed the money.

So walking into the clinic had this weird sense of finality to it.

The receptionist looked at you with a smile.

“Hello dear, how can I help you?” She said.

“I-uh, wanted to sign up to be a potential surrogate?” You said, wringing your hands together.

“Of course! Did you bring your medical records and things of the like?”

You nodded quickly, handing over the required paperwork. She clicked away on her keyboard and got you all signed up and ready to go. Soon, you were getting your preliminary check up to see if you were able to have children.

Although your period had some irregularities in the past, the doctor’s said it was probably due to stress and the balancing out of hormones. But it would all work out, you were healthy and fertile!

You managed to tell Namjoon that you signed up without him having a full blown heart attack.

“How long until you need to be out of the apartment?” He asked, sipping his coffee.

“I need to be out in three weeks,” you said softly.

“Well shit you’re kinda on a time crunch there sweets, but don’t worry, you can do it! I’ll let Jimin and Jungkook know that you signed up, they’ll want to meet you. I know it,” he said.

“Namjoon, it’s okay. I don’t care who I surrogate for, as long as it’s soon,” you said, trying to keep your heart rate under control.

“Okay, but Y/N, I’m telling you. They’d be the perfect fit for you!” He said.

You said your goodbyes before hanging up the phone. The days to come would be challenging no doubt.

—

You were rather popular at the fertility clinic it seemed, because you’d had three meetings already.

One was a couple that had been trying for years and it just wasn’t happening so they were resorting to a different method. Although for this one they wanted to do an egg implantation. You weren’t sure you wanted to do that.

Another was an older couple who looked like they were just planning on having kids but their own clocks ran out.

But finally, you got one more call from the clinic.

“Miss Y/N, you’ve got another request for a meeting,” the receptionist on the other line said.

“Oh? With whom?” You asked.

“A Mr. Park Jimin and a Mr. Jeon Jungkook, they asked for you personally,” she said, tone light.

You almost spit out your drink.

Th-They had asked for you?

The fertility clinic was big, a huge database of surrogates and people willing to conceive for the right price.

But they had asked to meet you.

Personally.

“Miss Y/N? Still there?” The receptionist asked, sounding far away from you.

“Yes! Yes I’m here,” you said, coughing.

“Wonderful, they said if you were willing they’d like to treat you to a meal, of course I can’t give out your contact information without consent from you but if you’re willing to meet with them we can arrange this.”

You heard yourself agree before even thinking about it.

Soon, you were on your way to the higher end of town. Heading towards a good Korean Barbeque place that was notorious for having the best meat in town.

Walking in you looked around, noticing how luxurious the place was. It made you feel a little out of place to be honest. But, not letting that get to you the host came up and asked for your name.

“Miss Y/N, ah yes. You’re with the Jeon party, lovely. Come right this way,” he said, taking you back into the bowels of the beast it seemed.

Winding through tables and chairs you found yourself in front of a private room. You didn’t want to think about how much this cost, so you simply just let your mind wander to other fun topics.

Such as the fact that you were potentially meeting your surrogate partners.

“Mr. Jeon? Mr. Park? A Miss Y/N is here for you,” the host said, through the door.

“Let her in,” a higher pitched male voice said.

You bit your lip and waited as the door opened. You looked inside and saw a beautiful wooden table, laid out with the finest meats and other various types of noodles and food. Then, there was the other feast, one for your eyes.

Park Jimin was a smaller man, but so incredibly handsome it made your head swirl. His soft blond hair tucked under a beanie as he looked up at you with what could only be called wonder. He looked at you gently, a small smile making its way to his lips.

Jeon Jungkook was a different story. Lean but cut, tiny waist accentuated by his pants. His arms were strong looking and one was covered in tattoos. His hair was pulled away from his face in a precious man bun that made your heart stutter. His eyes were big and glassy, looking at you. As if breathing you in.

“Hi,” you said quietly. “I’m Y/N.”

“We know,” Jimin said with a gentle smile.

“Come, sit down,” Jungkook said, moving a chair out for you to sit.

“Okay,” you agreed, moving to sit down.

“Get whatever you want,” Jimin encouraged, handing you the menu politely.

“Thank you,” you blushed, trying to not faint with his eyes on you like that.

Ordering a few things for yourself the three of you sat there with awkward silence filling the space. Jungkook wouldn’t really look at you and Jimin seemed like he was too nervous to start.

“So,” you said, clearing your throat. “How long have you two been together?” You asked, trying to sound cheerful.

“Five years,” Jungkook said, placing his hand over his glass.

“Oh wow, congratulations,” you said, rubbing your hands on your thighs.

“Thank you,” Jimin breathed.

“Our friend Namjoon said you were kind of in a tight spot and needed some help financially, is this true?” Jungkook asked, finally glancing your way.

“Y-Yeah, I wish he wouldn’t just tell other people that but, no sense in denying the truth. I’m almost six grand behind on rent,” you sighed, rubbing your face.

Both of their faces fell, looking at each other in worry.

“It-It’s okay though! I’ll be okay, I always am,” you said, trying to keep your tone light.

“It’s okay to be scared, Y/N, I would be scared shitless if I were you,” Jungkook said, taking slow drinks from his glass.

“Yeah,” you sighed, trying to avoid the stinging in your eyes.

“What do you do for work?” Jimin asked, trying to keep the conversation from turning to dark.

“I’m a receptionist at the local hotel. It’s not much, but I really like it,” you said, a grin taking place on your face.

“Hey, if you like it then that means something,” Jimin encouraged.

“So, you two want to have a baby?” You said, trying to get down to the topic at hand.

“Yes, more than anything,” Jimin said, a wistful look crossing his face.

“That’s amazing, to love each other that much and want to build a family is... Super important,” you said, meaning every word.

“What does your family do, Y/N? Do they live here in the city?”

You awkwardly rubbed your hands together.

“Um, my Great Aunt lives out in the country. But, my parents and most of my other relatives have passed on,” you said, trying to hide the emotion that came up.

“Oh, so sorry for your loss,” Jungkook said, face pinching.

“It’s okay, it was a long time ago,” you whispered.

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt,” Jimin argued.

“You’re right, but, it’s okay,” you said.

“So, you have a high chance for twins,” Jungkook said, looking at some papers you didn’t notice were on the table.

“Yes, my mother was a twin. It runs way back in my family,” you said.

“Jimin has a good chance of having twins as well,” Jungkook said, gesturing to his loving partner.

“I do I do,” he said with a grin.

“Do you two want a set of twins?” You asked.

“It’s preferred but not necessary. As long as we get a baby, that’s all that matters,” Jungkook said.

Soon, the food was delivered and Jungkook and Jimin insisted on cooking the food for you. Something about not stressing you out too much.

After a full meal, you leaned back and let your head fall comfortably. Jimin and Jungkook exchanged a glance at each other.

‘She’s the one,’ Jimin mouthed.

Jungkook smiled and nodded back.

“Thank you for the meal, I really do appreciate it. I haven’t eaten like that in months,” you said.

“Well, if you want to have our baby, we would gladly provide you with all the food you could want,” Jimin said.

“T-That’s alright, it wouldn’t be necessary-”

“Yes it would, Y/N. If you carry our child that means we’re responsible for you, everything you need or want will be yours. We swear,” Jungkook said.

“Right,” you swallowed thickly.

“Does that make you uncomfortable?” Jimin asked.

“I-I’ve never really been one for dependence on other people. You know? I like to do things myself if I can,” you said.

“Well, we wouldn’t force you to do anything of course but, if you did want or need anything, we would be more than happy to provide you with it,” Jungkook said.

“Thank you, that’s very sweet,” you said.

“You’d be carrying our child,” Jimin said as if it were obvious.

“Of course,” you said softly.

“Hey, if you don’t want to do this then don’t feel pressured. Don’t let money be an object in what you want to do with your life. It’s not healthy,” Jimin said.

“Thank you,” you said again.

“Well, I think it’s time to get going. I know you’ve met with other couples that have no doubt tried to convince you they’re the best option but... I really hope you chose us Y/N. You’d be the perfect surrogate for us,” Jungkook said, looking at you with a softened gaze.

And you knew it too.

You knew they were the couple you wanted to surrogate for, even if it cost you everything. You knew they deserved it. Not that any of the other families you had spoken to didn’t, but, they were the ones for you.

Your fertile window and ovulation were coming up so you had to make a choice and soon.

You’d met with the doctors at the clinic and they said that they were just waiting on you. Whomever you picked would have a meeting with you before the insemination on the rules and what you would have to do in regards to taking care of yourself. And then the money would be yours in full.

Calling the clinic you told them your answer.

“I would like to surrogate for Mr. Jeon and Mr. Park,” you said.

“Alrighty, I will give them a call and set up the appointment for them to get their end of the deal all set up and then we can get you all ready to go!” The receptionist said.

“Okay, thank you so much,” you said before hanging up.

Namjoon and Jin invited you over wanting to hear the news of everything going on with you.

And you couldn’t wait to see Annie again.

“Aw, you’re getting so big!” You said as you were greeted by Annie’s face in Jin’s arms.

“Yes she is!” Jin agreed. The cooing baby leaned forward, moving to capture your hair in her little fist.

You laughed and took her from Jin easily, he didn’t fight you and let you have your time with her. Rocking and bouncing her on your hip while the pair of them talked in the dining room.

Soon, a knocking came to the door.

Confusion swept over you, but regardless, you went to answer the door anyways.

Annie still on your hip, you opened the door to reveal Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook, your new surrogate partners.

Frozen in shock the two of them looked at you as if they were equally confused.

You wondered if the clinic had told them you picked them yet. You had just gotten off the phone with them today, so you weren’t. Jungkook’s face went to you to Annie and then back to you.

“H-Hi?” You whispered.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Jimin asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Came to have dinner with Jinnie and Joon, and Annie of course,” you smiled, raising the little one up on your hip more.

“Oh, did you know we were coming?” Jungkook asked.

“No, I had no idea,” you said.

“Ah! Are those the boys?” Jin’s voice echoed throughout the hall.

“Yes!” You yelled back.

“Let them in Y/N! We invited them over too!” Namjoon said.

“Please come in,” you said, moving out of their way as the couple greeted Jin and Namjoon fondly.

It appeared as though there were no hard feelings in regards to them getting a surrogate they wanted. But, you could see Jungkook’s longing on his face when he looked at Annie in your arms.

“She’s beautiful,” Jimin said, looking down at Annie as you rocked her to sleep.

“Mhmm, gorgeous. She’ll be stealing hearts just like her dads,” you said.

“Hey, Y/N,” Jimin said, keeping his eyes trained on the little one in your arms.

“Did you make your decision yet? It said on your profile that your ovulation window was coming up and I was just curious,” he said quietly.

“I did,” you said.

Jimin’s face fell.

“I see,” he swallowed.

“Jimin-”

“Alright you two, paws off the baby, my turn!” Namjoon said, walking in.

You handed the sleeping baby over without a fuss before you and Jimin both walked out into the living room. Jimin whispered something to Jungkook and his face dropped. But you couldn’t find the words in your mouth. You wanted to tell them you picked them. You moved to talk to them when you felt Jin’s presence behind you.

“Y/N? You alright?” Jin asked, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“Yeah.”

It was getting later, and you were feeling sleepy from all the food you’d eaten during the night.

Jimin and Jungkook looked at your sleepy form and their hearts broke all over again.

“I can’t believe she didn’t pick us,” Jungkook said, face betraying how he felt.

“Babe, you can’t force her. I-I thought we had a good chance but,” Jimin sighed.

“I don’t want to keep looking for a surrogate if this is going to happen every time,” Jungkook said, pain coming through in his voice.

“Jungkook you know how badly I want this too right? It’s not just you hurting here,” Jimin said.

“We’ve been trying for two years to find a surrogate and when we find one we want, they always pick someone else. Why? Are we that undesirable? I don’t understand,” Jungkook sighed.

“It’s not that,” Jimin whispered. “Maybe it’s just not our turn yet.”

“When is it gonna be our turn, huh?” Jungkook said. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

“We can’t give up,” Jimin said softly. “I don’t want to give up yet.”

“I know baby,” Jungkook said, kissing Jimin’s cheek softly.

You felt your heart pounding in your chest. These poor men were really hurting for a baby. A family to call their own.

Sitting up Jimin and Jungkook looked at you in fear.

“Y/N? Y-You were awake-oh God I’m so sorry you had to hear that-” Jimin said frantically.

“I picked you two,” you said.

Their eyes shot up to meet yours.

Jungkook’s were glossy from unshed tears and Jimin’s were widening by the second.

“You what?”

“I said I picked you two. I want to surrogate for you two,” you explained.

“But-in the nursery you said-” Jimin started.

“I said I had picked someone, I didn’t say who silly,” you smiled.

“Oh thank you Y/N!” Jungkook said, coming over to hold your hand in his.

“You don’t know what this means to us,” Jimin said.

“I know you two want this baby more than anything, I want to give it to you. Honestly, you two have waited long enough,” you said, heart stammering at the look of hope in their eyes.

“You’re perfect Y/N! Seriously!” Jimin cried, holding onto Jungkook for dear life.

“Thank you, you’re very sweet. I’m supposed to go in for the, you know, business end of it on Monday. They said they’d call you tomorrow. I just gave my answer today,” you told them.

“Okay, alright sounds good,” Jungkook said, wiping his eyes furiously.

“You gonna be okay?” You asked, looking at the two of them.

“Of course, more than okay.”

—

Monday creeped up on you quickly, faster than you thought.

You went to the clinic and sat down, getting signed in and everything before you saw Jungkook and Jimin waltz in looking like a million bucks.

Dressed head to toe in designer clothing, you realized you didn’t know what they did for a living. You hadn’t really looked at their profiles all that much. But you knew their baby would have everything they could ever want and more.

Smiling at them and waving, the two of them made their way over to you.

“Hey! What’s going on?” Jimin asked, sitting down in the chair next to you.

“Just waiting,” you said, looking at the pair of them together.

They looked like the traditional power couple. Strong, dependable and handsome to boot. It was kind of overwhelming.

Jungkook was wringing his hands together, biting his lip as he looked around the room.

“You alright Jungkook?”

“Yeah just-”

“Mr. Jeon, Mr. Park and Miss Y/N? The legal assistant will see you now,” a voice from the corner called.

“Let’s go,” you said, standing up and heading towards the back room.

You sat down and the rules of the road were laid out.

If you signed the contract Jimin and Jungkook were the parents of the child. You had no rights unless they said otherwise. You would be given a lump sum of money, transferred into your bank account the day they know you’re pregnant and expecting. If anything happens to the baby such as a miscarriage or something of the like that you had no control over, you would be able to keep the money. But, they would like to try again to see if the next one stuck better.

“So, if you conceive twins, which your likelihood is good, Mr. Jeon and Mr. Park have agreed to pay you double,” you almost choked on your drink.

Double?

“What?” You squeaked out.

“It’s written right here,” the legal assistant said, pointing to the document in her hands.

“Okay,” you said softly, not wanting to make either of them uncomfortable.

“The total of your payment will come to $153,000 dollars,” the legal assistant said. “If you conceive twins.”

Your head swirled.

What would you do with all that money? Jimin and Jungkook looked at you with worry.

“I-Is it not enough? We can give you more if you want-”

“No! No no, that is totally acceptable. More than,” you said.

“Okay, just making sure,” Jimin answered.

“If you would please initial here, Miss Y/N. And then a signature here at the bottom and then you two will also need to sign as well,” she said.

After all the paperwork was done your date for insemination was set.

Jimin and Jungkook looked at you as you walked out of the clinic.

“Hey! Y/N! Hold on,” Jungkook said, walking forward.

“Huh? What is it?” You asked turning around.

Jungkook’s bright eyes blinded you as he gazed into your own. But you kept your breathing steady as you could.

“Do you want a ride home? Jimin and I cleared our schedules so we could be here today, and... Well we don’t want you to get hurt or anything,” he said, pointing to the black suburban.

“Oh, it’s alright I was gonna go to the bookstore and get a few things and then head home but I’ll be fine, no worries,” you smiled.

“We insist, Y/N,” Jimin said, walking forward to take his partner’s hand.

“Um, well... It’s really not that far, I’m sure it’ll be okay,” you said.

“Well, if you’re really sure,” Jungkook said.

“Yeah, but I’ll see you two on Thursday right? That’s when I’m supposed to... Well, you know,” your said, looking down at your feet.

“Of course! If you want us to be there that is,” Jimin said.

“Yes, it’s your baby,” you said.

“Okay, we’ll see you Thursday then,” Jungkook agreed, waving at you before he and Jimin got into the suburban and left.

But you couldn’t help the feeling you had as you watched them drive away.

Sadness.

—

You walked into the clinic Thursday morning, sweat pooling in your palms. You were reaching the end of your wire at your apartment. And you weren’t going to get the money in time. You were worried and didn’t want to bother Namjoon and Jin... So you just kept it to yourself.

You felt the fear and worry eating you up inside as you sat in the waiting room.

The doctor called your name and you headed back towards the room, when someone shouted your name.

Jimin and Jungkook were there, smiling brightly at you.

Your heart eased at seeing the two men, so happy and radiant. Everything you weren’t currently. But, knowing you were giving them something so important really made you feel better. Even if it was just for the time being.

“Oh my gosh, we’re finally getting a baby!” Jimin squeaked.

“Easy, it’s probably not going to happen first try,” you reminded him of what the doctor said.

“Bet I could get you pregnant in one shot,” Jungkook smirked.

“Oh shush Kook. But if you got her pregnant you wouldn’t get those twins you want so badly now would you, butthead,” Jimin said, shoving the younger man around slightly.

You tried to keep yourself from blushing but the redness that twinged your cheeks was there regardless. You were here to get pregnant, that was the end goal of today.

“Alright, Miss Y/N, we’re going to take you back and get you all set and then Mr. Park and Mr. Jeon have said they wanted to take you home after. Is that alright with you?” The doctor asked.

“Yes, that’s fine,” you said.

“Okay, let’s head back then,” Jungkook gave you a gentle smile before Jimin came forward and gave your knuckles a quick kiss.

“Good luck, Y/N,” he said.

“Thanks,” you answered before heading back.

The whole process took around a hour and a half, most of it waiting.

The sensation wasn’t too bad, but you were a little uncomfortable. Everything was super sterile and not how you expected you’d get pregnant, but... It wasn’t your baby at the end of the day. You tried not to wiggle as you laid there, letting Jimin’s seed try to impregnate you.

Finally, the timer went off and you were allowed to leave to go home.

Jimin and Jungkook were sat in the waiting room, chatting with each other excitedly. You knew that this was it, that they were more than perfect for this baby. You were beyond happy you could give it to them.

“Y/N!” Jimin said, walking up to greet you.

“Hey,” you said easily, noticing Jungkook come up behind him.

“We’re here to take you home!” Jimin smiled.

“Thanks guys,” you said softly.

“We brought the car around already so you don’t have to walk too much. Don’t wanna spoil all our hard work,” Jimin said, looking at your tummy with affection.

“Like I said Jimin, it probably won’t happen this time. But you never know, you might have some strong swimmers,” you joked.

“You have no idea, Y/N,” he said, gazing into your eyes for a moment.

Your breath caught in your throat. He looked like an angel wrapped in sin, as if he were so good yet so bad for you. It made your head spin.

Jungkook held the car door open for you and you got in carefully. Jimin sat in the back with you while Jungkook sat up front.

Of course these two had a driver...

Jimin was looking out the window and noticed that they were getting into the sketchier part of town. His worry was eating him alive. He didn’t want the mother of his child staying here! That simply wouldn’t do.

You got out of the car, heading towards your apartment when the landlord approached you. Jungkook and Jimin were still getting out of the car when he exploded at you.

“There’s the little bitch now!” He growled, grabbing your wrist and twisting it painfully.

You yelped, trying not to move so much. It only made it hurt more.

“Let me go!” You said.

“You filthy cunt, you owe me almost six thousand dollars! And you dare to come back here without anything? Huh? Nothing? Where have you been huh? Selling your body to make some cash I bet, that’s what little whore’s like you do right? Fucking pathetic,” he spits at you.

“I-I just need a little more time-” a resounding smack is heard through the parking lot.

Jimin and Jungkook look up to see your head turned sharply to the side and a man gripping your wrist.

Both of the men flew off the handle.

“Let go of her you fucker!” Jungkook yelled, walking forward with purpose.

“Don’t you dare touch her!” Jimin growled, pulling you away from the man.

“Did you fucking hit her?” Jungkook said, looking at your reddened cheek.

“Bitch owes me money, she knows that-”

“Fucker!” Jungkook snarled, grabbing the man by his shirt and lifting him.

“Y/N? Sweetie can you hear me?” Jimin whispered. Your head was swimming with pain and discomfort. Your cheek was screaming at you. But what hurt worse was the embarrassment. They saw it all, that you couldn’t take care of yourself. How on earth were you going to take care of a baby if you got pregnant for nine months? Huh?

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, he hurt you. Jungkook put him down and call the cops,” Jimin said.

“I owe him money, I just-”

“You can’t arrest me! You fuckheads, do you know who I am?” He asked.

“Do you know who we are? Hi I’m Jeon Jungkook, heir to the Jeon Law Firm here in the city. You might have heard of us, and she is the mother of my future child and you won’t be putting your hands on her ever again,” Jungkook said.

“I just wanna leave, I don’t... I don’t wanna be here,” you whimpered.

“But Y/N,” Jimin said.

“Can we leave? Please?” You begged, looking up at him with a swollen cheek and glossy eyes. Jimin’s heart broke five times over, seeing you so upset.

“Jungkook, come on. Let’s go,” Jimin said.

“And leave her with this fucking piece of shit? I think not, no we’re going to-Y/N? Are you alright?” Jungkook asked, coming forward and looking at your face with a tenderness you didn’t know was there.

“We’ll take her home with us,” Jimin said easily.

“Okay, yeah. But we’re calling the cops on that dickbag when we get back. I want him arrested for hurting her,” Jungkook said with finality.

“Of course baby,” Jimin said, soothing the younger male.

“Can we just go?” You asked, looking up at them for a moment.

“Yes, of course we can, let’s get you in the car and go back to our place,” Jungkook said, coming forward and getting into the back seat this time. Jimin encouraged you to get inside, so you did, him following shortly thereafter.

“Take us home please,” Jungkook said, shutting the little window between the front of the car and the back.

You sat between the two men, each of them looking out the window and appearing to be deep in thought. You were as well. You hoped this didn’t affect your chances of getting pregnant. You don’t know what you’d do if you couldn’t get this baby. The prospect of so much money on the line, you very future.

Also, you worried for Jungkook and Jimin. You really wanted this to work for their sake too.

They’d been waiting so long.

You were swallowed into the dreamscape of your thoughts. Nothing really getting in or out of your mind. You were just reeling at everything that had happened in less than four hours. You had your first attempt at insemination, went home and got assaulted and now you were heading to the upper end of the city with the two men who wanted you to have a baby for them.

This was all so much to handle.

Finally, the car stopped moving and Jimin quickly ushered you out of the vehicle. You stood there and looked up at the stunning building with a weird sense of fear. It loomed over you, almost intimidatingly so.

Jimin told the driver to go park the car and take the rest of the day off while Jungkook gathered their things from the back. You looked around and noticed that people were staring at you.

No doubt you looked like a sore pink thumb right now. Tear stained and swollen cheeks making you look even more outlandish in the area. But, Jungkook quickly moved everyone inside.

The door man asked who you were and Jimin and Jungkook simply told the truth.

“She’s our surrogate, we’re having her stay with us for a while. If she needs anything, make sure she gets it!” Jimin said.

“Absolutely Mr. Park,” the doorman said.

“Come on Y/N,” Jungkook said, heading towards the elevator.

You followed behind them quickly, getting in the mirrored elevator. Looking at yourself you felt all the anxiety and fear come back. You didn’t belong here, you were wearing a pair of fucked up jeans, a flannel and t-shirt. They were dressed in beautiful clothing, dipped in the finest silks and satins.

You looked like a charity case no doubt.

It made your stomach churn in discomfort. But you kept your mouth shut. You were providing them with a service. And in turn they were paying you. It was a give and take situation. But you couldn’t help but feel as though you were taking more than you were giving.

Jungkook held the door while you and Jimin entered the house. You looked around and the apartment was massive. Bigger than your Aunt’s tiny house in the country. You wondered just how much money these two had.

Soon, Jimin was sitting you down on the couch and tending to your cheek. His heart crumpled when you flinched at his touch. He tried not to take it personally, you were literally just assaulted. But he hoped you weren’t scared of him, or Jungkook.

“Should I call the doctor?” Jungkook asked, coming in and sitting next to Jimin.

“No, she’s just a little swollen, she’ll be alright,” Jimin said, handing you the painkillers and some ice.

“Can she have that?” Jungkook asked, referring to the pain medicine.

“It’s acetaminophen she can have it,” Jimin confirmed.

“Okay,” he said, standing up and heading towards the kitchen.

“Are you hungry?” Jimin asked, looking at you for any signs of discomfort.

“Not particularly, but I should eat. Especially today,” you said, a weak smile on your face. Jimin nodded, but headed towards the kitchen regardless.

Soon after, a wonderful aroma filled the apartment. But you hadn’t moved from the couch, keeping your eyes trained on the TV Jimin turned on for you. You didn’t particularly want to watch the news, but you weren’t sure on how to work this TV. It made your brain hurt. But, whatever, you kept your eyes on the screen, not looking anywhere in particular.

Jimin soon came out, wearing a smile that must be a signature for him or something. He told you dinner was ready and to follow him. Turning off the TV with a swipe of his finger on the screen you marveled at the technology.

He patted your cheek and brought you into the dining room.

Jungkook was finishing putting the food out when you sat down. He and Jimin were deep in conversation. You picked at your food, eating a few pieces if Jimin put them on your plate. But other than that, you sat unmoving in the corner.

You supposed you were still in shock of what had happened today.

Soon, you felt the distinct cramping in your lower stomach, something you were told is to be expected. Especially if the pregnancy took. Letting out a puff of air, you held your stomach. It wasn’t terrible, but the discomfort had you adjusting in your seat.

Jungkook’s head snapped in your direction, carefully observing you.

“Everything alright? Y/N?” He asked, cocking his head to the side in a cute way.

Forcing a smile you nodded.

“Yeah, just cramping a little bit,” you said, keeping your hands together underneath the table.

“Is it bad?” Jungkook asked, leaning towards you.

“No-ah!” You said, clutching your stomach. It didn’t hurt as much as it caught you off guard. But the two men were beside you in seconds.

“Y/N? Do you want us to call the doctor?”

“Is there something we can get for you? Do you want more pain medicine?”

“N-No, honestly, I’m okay,” you said, giving them each a squeeze to their wrist.

Jimin nodded, standing up and moved to start cleaning up the meal. Jungkook placed a couple more pieces of meat on your plate, asking you to eat them. He thought it could help your cramping, but he mainly just wanted to see you eat something.

Soon, the pair of them had cleaned up the meal and had gathered some clothes for you to wear to bed.

“We’ll pick up some stuff for you to wear tomorrow,” Jungkook said smiling.

“N-No that’s alright I can go back and get my stuff,” you said.

“You’re not going anywhere near that building,” Jimin warned, voice low.

“What? I have to get my stuff-”

“We’ll have someone go collect your things and bring them back here,” Jimin said, careful.

“I can go it’s not a big deal-”

“Y/N, please, just let us take care of this,” Jungkook said, quietly coming over to your side.

You were far too tired to argue. But you already felt like a cat in a cage. So you waved off the disagreement and decided to just head to bed.

The cramping was still there, but not nearly as bad as it had been when you were at the table. Laying down helped, but you felt something in your underwear.

Quickly, you went to the bathroom and noticed some blood in your underwear. Biting your lip, you tried to keep yourself from panicking. Putting them back on you went to living room and found Jimin sitting on the couch, looking tired.

“J-Jimin,” you said quietly.

His head snapped up and he gave you a little smile.

“Yes, Y/N?” He asked, coming towards you. You sighed and ran your hands through your hair.

“I-I was bleeding,” you said, voice straining slightly.

“You were? Where?” He asked, brows furrowing.

“M-My, uh, I found it in my underwear,” you said, breathing in deeply.

“Was it a lot?” He asked, keeping a cool exterior.

“N-No, not a lot but it worried me,” you said, trying to keep yourself from freaking out on him.

“It’s normal to spot a little after the IUI, don’t worry. But tell me if anymore happens. They did just shove a tube up your business,” he said, laughing lightly.

Immediately you were put at ease. Sensing your relief, Jimin patted your shoulder.

“It’s okay to be nervous, we are,” Jimin said, nodding towards the closed door you assumed was to their bedroom.

“Yeah, I’m-I just really want this to work,” you confessed, feeling yourself relax a bit.

“We do too, more than anything,” Jimin answered, giving you a genuine grin.

“I’m glad that the baby will have you two as parents, makes me feel good knowing that they’ll be taken care of,” you smiled back.

Jimin’s face seemed to morph into a look of joy and agony at the same time.

“You’re too sweet, Y/N, honestly. Jungkook and I are beyond excited,” he explained.

“Have you always wanted to be a father?” You asked him, out of the blue. Jimin blushed and looked down at his feet.

“Y-Yeah, ever since I was little I always wanted a family to call my own. And when I met Jungkook I knew it was just meant to be you know? Like, everything just made sense,” he said, a sheepish look taking over his features.

“That’s so sweet,” you gushed.

“It’s the truth,” he shrugged.

“I want someone to look at me the way you look at Jungkook, like I’m their whole world and more. I’ve never been one for dating though,” you said, looking down at the floor, embarrassed.

“No? How many boyfriends or girlfriends have you had?” Jimin asked, not thinking. When the shocked look took over your face he back peddled. “I-I shouldn’t have asked, that doesn’t deem your worth or anything like that-”

“None,” you said, blushing bright red.

Jimin’s face changed.

“Tell me if I’m out of line here, but have you ever, uh... You know, um,” he said, rubbing his hands together.

“Oh? Sex? Yeah, I’ve done it before, but it wasn’t really anything special. I don’t even think I-um... Nevermind,” you said, biting your lip hard.

“You don’t think you what? You didn’t cum?” Jimin said, as if he were shocked.

“No! Now keep your voice down!” You yelped.

Jimin frowned.

“That’s horrible, you deserve better,” Jimin said matter of factly.

“It happens, but, this conversation has gotten away from us,” you said, trying to steer it away from your pathetic sex life and more towards the fact that you both need to go to bed. “I’m tired, had a long day.” You said, rubbing your arms.

“Of course, absolutely! If you need anything or something happens, our room is right here just come get us,” Jimin said.

“Okay, thanks,” you said, turning, but not before you wished him a good night.

Jimin gave you a small smile. “Good night, Y/N, sleep well.”

—

Soon your stuff was all moved into the boys apartment. You questioned when you would be leaving, but the boys said that you didn’t have to worry about departing for the foreseeable future.

They had originally wanted you to live with them if and when they found out you were pregnant, that way they could be there through it all. But, these stages after the insemination could be hard on you and they decided to keep you with them.

You felt like a little kid half the time, but you had to call in to work often because of these appointments. And quickly, they tired of it.

“Y/N, we love you and we want you to pick here to work, but honestly your attendance is a severe issue right now,” your supervisor said over the phone. You called in that day because you just were feeling super exhausted.

You hadn’t told them you’d signed up for a surrogacy. You weren’t sure how that would go over, but, maybe you had to if you wanted to save your job.

“I-I’m calling in all the time because I’m trying to get pregnant,” you said softly.

Laughter came from the other side of the phone.

You were being laughed at.

“Oh my God, Y/N, that’s hilarious! But seriously, I have to put you on a two week suspension without pay because-”

“Dawn, I'm serious. I signed up with the fertility clinic and I’m currently trying to become a surrogate for a lovely couple,” you said, honestly.

“Y/N, why did you sign up for that? As far as any of us knew, you weren’t that into kids,” Dawn said over the phone.

“I-I like kids, but the baby won’t be mine to keep. The couple gets to keep them once they are born. I lose all rights as a parent,” you explained.

“That’s kinda cruel... Let you carry the baby for nine months then force you to leave them. I don’t know if I could do that,” she said.

“I-It’s the way it is,” you said. “But I need to have the day off, I have an appointment at the clinic.”

“Y/N, would it be easier if we just let you quit?” Dawn said.

“What?!” You shrieked into the phone.

“Well, it’s a delicate time and we'd have you working on your feet for long hours. I don’t want anything to happen to you or your baby,” she said, sounding sad.

“But I don’t wanna leave you guys,” you whimpered.

“Well, once the little tike is born come back. We’ll hire you back, I promise. If you want to come back,” she offered.

“Y-You’ll really let me come back?” You said, biting your lip.

It would be nice to just focus on the pregnancy and helping Jungkook and Jimin. If you had the option, maybe it would be better to take her advice and go back when you were ready. Hopefully they don’t screw you over.

“Of course we will! We love you! But, right now isn’t the best time for you to be working. Focus on you and your little bundle okay? We’ll be waiting,” she said.

“Oh thank you Dawn! I love you guys too!”

After a little tears ‘see you later’, you hung up.

Soon, a soft knock came to your door. Looking up you saw Jungkook there, dressed to the nines looking at you. Raising a brow you assessed the situation.

“What’s up?” You said, setting your phone down to give him your undivided attention.

“I was wondering if you needed a ride to work, you’re already an hour late,” he said, pointing to the clock on your wall.

“Oh, about that,” you said, rubbing your hands together.

“Did something happen? Did they fire you for being our surrogate? Oh just let me make one phone call, that’s illegal! I’m a lawyer, let me talk some sense into them!” Jungkook said, turning to walk out.

“No, Jungkook! It’s fine, they told me to take the time off. To spend time focusing on myself and to take care of the baby,” you explained. “My job will be there when I’m ready to return.”

Jungkook stopped and looked at you. His features softened before nodding.

“Okay, but if they try to tell you you can’t go back when you’re ready, you just tell me. I won’t let anyone disrespect or lie to you,” he said, a stern look on his face.

“Thanks Jungkook, that means a lot,” you said, giving a smile.

“There’s food in the fridge, all you have to do is heat it up. You have the house to yourself so, do whatever you want,” Jungkook said, waving before walking out of your room.

You sat there for a minute, really mulling over what you wanted to do. Honestly, you were so sore and tired you just wanted to fall back asleep. But you decided that it was better to get up and do some activity. Hopefully that would be okay.

It had been about ten days since your IUI appointment and you were mainly just tired. Although fatigue was a symptom of an attachment. But that was the only symptom you were having, you were meant to test in a couple days to see if you were pregnant, but something had you worried.

If you weren’t pregnant, you’d have to wait a whole other month. They did tell you that sometimes it took multiple tries to successfully impregnate someone. But you really wanted this to work, you just wanted to get this going.

That way Jimin and Jungkook could have their baby already.

You knew they’d be amazing fathers, already with their dutiful actions towards you. So willing to do whatever you asked, but you tried your best not to pester them too much. You tried to make it as though you weren’t even there. But they insisted you join them for dinner so they could make sure you were eating well.

For your day you mainly just puttered around the house, picking up and doing little things that wouldn’t aggravate you. So, you settled down with a book in your hands and soft music playing in the background.

That’s how Jimin and Jungkook found you when they came home. Curled up on the couch with a novel between your fingers. Jimin smiled softly, looking at the picturesque scene.

“Do you think she’s pregnant?” Jungkook asked, looking at his boyfriend with apprehension.

“I hope so,” Jimin answered.

“She’s really tired lately, sleeping late and going to bed early. That’s a sign, right?” Jungkook said.

“It is, but that’s also a sign of a woman’s period coming up,” Jimin warned.

“Damn...” Jungkook said, rubbing his face.

“But I don’t know, she’s due to test soon so, we might have our baby,” Jimin soothed.

You looked up from your book, noticing the pair in the entryway. Giving them a shy smile, you waved, nose getting buried back in the book. Jimin laughed lightly, heading towards the kitchen.

The two cooked dinner, making something easy to digest. Your stomach was on the fritz yesterday so they want to make sure they don’t upset your sensitive tummy. But, as Jimin looked out at you reading on the couch, a blanket draped along your lap. He couldn’t help but love the domesticity of it all. You looked at peace, in your element and comfortable.

Jimin hoped it would stay that way. With you, comfy and cared for.

Jungkook rushed past with the boiling soup in his hands, moving quick like a little kid to set the table for you all. Jimin just laughed, smacking his butt when he came back.

“Hey! Paws off,” Jungkook pouted.

“Hmm? That’s not what you were saying the other night,” Jimin laughed at the scandalized look on Jungkook’s face. “I’m kidding, come on go get Y/N so we can eat.”

Jungkook went to gather you from the living room and was met with an unusual sight. You passed out, wrapped in the blanket with your book on the floor.

He smiled, moving towards you slowly. He placed a soft hand on your head, patting your hair gently. Your eyes opened slowly, looking up at him with sleepy eyes. Jungkook helped you up, leading you to the dining room.

The meal was quiet, Jungkook and Jimin making small talk with you, but mostly you were just eating peacefully.

You ate well and leaned back, as you tended to do when you were full and let out a huff. Jimin repressed the smile on his face with the back of his hand. Jungkook smiled openly, looking at your sleepy form.

Sitting back up you took a few more swallows of water before you stood up and thanked them for the meal and headed towards your room.

Jungkook and Jimin watched you go, each having a weird tightening in their chest at the sight of your swaying hips.

—

You had finally reached the two week mark.

Time to test.

Jimin and Jungkook went with you, driving you to the clinic for your appointment at the ass crack of dawn it felt like.

Jimin was chatting excitedly in the front seat with Jungkook. You could see the looks of love on their faces as they talked about their future with their child. It made butterflies rise in your stomach.

Quickly smacking your cheeks, you tried to forget the sensation of hope building in your belly.

Soon you were all at the clinic, Jimin helping you out of the car. The two men walked on either side of you, making sure everyone knew who you were here with. It made you feel protected, watched over.

Important.

After all the paperwork was done for the visit, Jungkook and Jimin sat down next to you. They interlocked their hands, smiling brightly at each other. You locked your hands together and looked down at them.

“Miss Y/N? Mr. Park and Mr. Jeon? Are you all ready?” A nurse called and you all headed back to a secluded room, a few chairs and the like ready. You saw the needles and everything set up and you swallowed hard.

You hated needles, with a passion.

But you’d done it before, so you’d do it again.

“Y/N? You okay?” Jungkook asked, looking at your paling face.

“Y-yeah, nervous around needles,” you confessed.

“Oh, do you want some water or something?”

“No I’m okay,” you encouraged.

“If you’re sure,” Jungkook said, looking like he wanted to do more...

“Alright! We’re gonna take some blood and a urine sample, so if you two would just wait outside for a moment while we get her changed, then you can come back in if you want,” the nurse explained.

You got changed and hopped up on the table.

They asked a bunch of questions, all fairly standard. Then they brought out the needles. Jimin saw you flinch when the packaging came off and you saw the syringe come closer.

“Hang on,” Jimin said, standing up.

The nurse stopped and looked up in confusion, that’s when Jimin took your hand in his and squeezed.

“You can hold my hand while they take your blood okay? Just squeeze if you need to,” he said, looking at your face for any signs of resistance.

You bit your lip and nodded.

The nurse took your blood quickly, getting a few vials full. Jungkook watched as his boyfriend held your hand the whole time, keeping you calm and at ease.

He hoped with everything he was that this had worked.

God, he wanted it to work so bad.

Soon, the two men were being ushered out of the room so you could do your urine sample.

After everything was done and over with, you got dressed and went to the waiting room. Jimin and Jungkook stood up when they saw you, waving you over to sit with them.

All three of you waited with baited breath as they ran the tests. They kept asking if you wanted anything, water, juice or something to eat. But you politely declined. Knowing if you put anything in your body right now you’d puke it up immediately with how nervous you were for the results.

They said it shouldn’t take too long.

It had been about an hour when a nurse popped her head out, signaling for all three of you to come back.

“Dr. Heinz will see you now,” she said, giving you all a small smile before leading you down the hallway towards the offices.

Shortly, you were sat on a comfortable sofa with Jungkook and Jimin in front of you. Jungkook and Jimin were holding onto each other so tight you feared for their circulation. But, Dr. Heinz was quick to get to the point.

“Well, I want to say, congratulations, Mr. Jeon and Mr. Park... Y/N is pregnant,” he said, talking like you weren’t in the room.

“Oh my God!” Jungkook shouted, standing up and hugging Jimin to him tightly. They kissed several times, tears falling freely down the new father’s faces. Dr. Heinz let them have their moment, smiling at the happy couple. You looked down at your stomach and bit your lip.

So this was really happening...

“Jungkook, I love you,” Jimin said, holding onto his boyfriend tightly.

“I love you too babe, I love you too,” Jungkook affirmed.

“Okay we do have to discuss her health however,” Dr. Heinz said, having the men sit down quickly.

“Is she alright?” Jimin said, looking at you with worry written all over his features.

“She’s at a very fragile point in the pregnancy. IUI can be tricky so we need to be very careful with what happens next. I don’t want her doing anything strenuous. Especially with the lower body until we can get her in for an ultrasound. Her uterus looked good on her preliminary but getting pregnant can really affect a woman’s body, so we need to take all the precautions,” Dr. Heinz explained.

“But is she going to be okay?” Jungkook asked, placing a gentle hand on yours.

You looked at his big hand covering yours, blinking slowly.

“I’m worried about her low white blood cell count. That makes her more susceptible to colds and infections, so you need to be very careful. Her red blood cell count was also low, showing early signs of anemia. So lots of red meat and protein to help keep her levels up. Although the anemia will be aggravated by the pregnancy, so make sure she doesn’t stand up too fast or tax herself too much,” he said.

“I am right here,” you said, glaring at the doctor.

“Sorry Miss Y/N, they’re the parents in this situation. I want them to be informed of your situation,” Dr. Heinz said bluntly.

“There are four of us in this room, I’ll remind you of that. Don’t talk like I’m not here please,” you said, folding your hands and crossing your legs.

Jimin almost burst out laughing.

Damn you were feisty!

He really liked that...

“I-I apologize, Miss Y/N,” he said, swallowing quickly before continuing on. “Also, you’re going to start having more symptoms than the fatigue you mentioned. Morning sickness is extremely common and expected, although every woman is different. Headaches, dizziness and blurred vision are also to be noted. Even some spotting can happen, but please do tell us if you’re spotting or bleeding. Now, do any of you have questions?” The doctor asked, looking at the boys and you.

“Is there any way to know if we are expecting, more than one?” Jimin asked, looking down at your stomach with pure adoration on his face.

“We won’t really know until she’s further along. Quite a bit further actually. But for now, enjoy this. Enjoy the early stages, it’ll be tough but you can pull through. I wish you all the best of luck,” Dr. Heinz said, handing some paperwork over to Jungkook before the three of you stood up and headed out.

Jimin and Jungkook were so excited, chatting with each other about if they were having twins. If the baby was a boy or girl. You were in the car, hands folded in your lap while you looked out the window.

Honestly, you were scared out of your mind.

The doctor had mentioned this was a really fragile part of the pregnancy. That you’d have to be careful, not to mention it was important for your own health as well. If something happened to the baby, something could happen to you and vice versa.

Jungkook insisted on taking everyone out for dinner.

This was a big occasion after all.

Sitting down in the very resturant you all had your first meal in, felt kinda surreal.

Now, you were pregnant with their baby. It felt kinda full circle.

Jimin and Jungkook insisted on getting whatever you wanted. But you weren’t terribly hungry yet, maybe it was the nerves of the whole day catching up. But you ordered a few things, making sure to eat. You knew it made them happy when you did, because it showed you cared about your body and the life growing inside of you.

Jungkook was drinking, a lot if you were being honest. Jimin just watched him as his cheeks flushed red as he continued to talk animatedly at the two of you. Smiling, you filled up Jungkook’s water before urging him to drink some.

“Thanks youuu,” he said, beaming at you.

“You’re welcome, but drink up okay?” You said, gesturing towards the glass.

He did as you asked, drinking all the water. You sighed in relief, knowing at least he’d be hydrated when he went to bed.

“Well, guess you aren’t driving you big lug,” Jimin laughed as he hauled Jungkook out of the restaurant a while later.

“Mmm, we’re having a baby baby!” Jungkook cooed at Jimin, holding his cheeks in between his hands.

“Mhmm, yes we are. Now get in the back with Y/N, okay?” Jimin said, opening the back and helping his very tipsy boyfriend inside. You were about to climb in when Jimin placed his hands on your hips, causing you to jolt so hard you smacked your head on the roof of the car.

“Ow, fuck,” you said, holding your head tightly.

“Y/N!” Jimin yelped. Jungkook’s head popped up.

“What happened?” He asked, looking at you with bleary eyes.

“I just smacked my head, I’m alright,” you said, rubbing your head gingerly.

“Can I take a look?” Jimin asked, biting his plump lips harshly.

“Y-yeah,” you said, leaning towards him.

Jimin’s gentle hands on your scalp proved to be dangerous. Because now, you wanted him to touch you here all the time. Combing his fingers through your hair. Massaging the tender flesh there.

“Well, you aren’t bleeding, but you’ll have a massive bump for a few days no doubt,” he reasoned.

“She’s gonna have a massive bump here soon too!” Jungkook cheered happily, pointing at your stomach.

“Jungkook, enough,” Jimin warned.

Grumbling to himself, Jungkook backed off.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jimin asked. You nodded, already feeling the throbbing in the base of your skull starting.

“I’ll take a few pain killers when we get back,” you said.

“Okay,” Jimin said, running his hand from your head down to cradle your cheek in his palm. You’re cheeks heated up at the feeling of his skin on yours, but shortly he was retreating to the front of the car.

Soon, you were underway.

Jimin turned on the radio quietly, driving carefully around town.

Jungkook had managed to fall asleep against the window. When suddenly, the car was jerking to the side. Jimin laid on the horn, yelling a couple explicit words out the window. But, Jungkook’s body had already fallen into your lap.

His head rested comfortably against your thighs, arms draping across your legs. Jungkook continued to sleep peacefully while you inspected him. He had a beautiful nose, button like and slotting perfectly along with his already perfect features. His plush lips pouting as he slept. Your eyes widened at him, heart hammering in your chest as you gazed down at him.

He was incredibly handsome.

But, you knew his personality too. He was kind, but strong and sure of himself. He had an air of confidence that was almost infectious. But he also had a childish nature about him. Not immature, but there was something about the wonder in his eyes when he tried something new. Or the nostalgia that ran through him when he ate his favorite food or, just the sparkle in his eyes when Jimin came home.

You, as if possessed, took your hand and ran your fingers through his soft black hair. He groaned in his sleep, gripping your legs tighter. You continued to run your fingers through his hair, watching his face for any signs of discomfort.

Jimin looked in the rearview mirror and saw you stroking Jungkook’s head with a gentle hand. His heart thudded dangerously in his chest. You were so caring and tender, everything you did had purpose behind it.

Jimin felt relief flood him at the idea of you being the mother of he and Jungkook’s child. Technically just Jimin’s but Jungkook was also the father but he didn’t get any genetics in this one.

This one...

Did Jimin want to have more children?

You just got the announcement today and he was already giddy at the prospect of you growing large with his child. But confusion swept through him. Was this just because he was grateful to you? Or was it something more?

Looking at you and Jungkook in the back, he thinks he might already know the answer.

#ficswithluv #ksmutclub #BTS #BTS smut #Jikook x reader #Jikook #Bangtan #BTS fanfic #Jikook smut #Jikook x reader smut #Pregnancy au #Jimin x jungkook x reader #Surrogacy Au

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tomwambsmilk · 2 years

Note

tell us about your daddy Tom headcanons 👀

Okay so what it boils down to for me is that I think Tom genuinely wants to be a father. I think part of it for him definitely is the checklist of like ✅ high-powered job ✅ beautiful wife ✅ beautiful kids that I think he’s mentally had since he was young. But I also think that as he’s gotten older he does genuinely want to be a dad. Matt Mac has talked about how part of Tom’s affection for Greg is rooted in a desire to be a sort of father-figure to somebody; I think Tom genuinely loves being able to lavish love and affection on people. With Shiv and with Greg it’s complicated by other factors, but kids are a less complicated bc they haven’t yet been battered into cynicism by the forces of the world (hopefully).

(Obviously within the context of succ their are other more strategic factors at play in terms of why he wants to have a baby with Shiv, but I do think he still wants to be a dad regardless.)

So because of all that I think that Tom would actually be an affectionate father. There’s been some discussion over whether a Shiv pregnancy plot line would be a good or bad thing; I see the potential pitfalls but I have faith in Jesse Armstrong handling it well if they went that route. And I would be interested in seeing Tom and Shiv have a kid in confluence with Tom becoming increasingly Logan-esque in the workplace. I don’t think it would necessarily transfer over to his home life bc I think he would be able to compartmentalize in a way Logan never did, but the contrast would be interesting. It also opens the door to the potential of his kids getting older and struggling to reconcile the loving affectionate dad they know with the morally bankrupt abusive boss they discover he is in the workplace.

Aside from that I think if he had kids in any context (tomshiv or tomgreg or any other Tom ship) he would absolutely spoil them. He would buy them all sorts of stuff all the time. He would need his partner to reign him in from actually legitimately turning them into spoiled brats by accident. He would HATE to be the ‘bad guy’ when it came to discipline. If he did have to do it (bc his partner rightfully objected to having to always be the bad guy) I think he would get very morose afterwards.

I also think he would be one of those parents who just. Legitimately believes their child is better than all other children objectively and in every way. Anything his kids are good at he’s gonna absolutely crow to other parents over. Other parents and teachers will all hate him. He’s also going to be SUPER effusive with the praise whenever his kids do even moderately well at something, and it’s not even an act! If little Ariadne brings home a B+ on her math test she’s doing absolutely amazing. If she brings home a C+ it’s probably just that the math was unusually difficult for her brilliant brain. It does have the potential to become a legitimate problem if he doesn’t have a partner who’s more grounded and can flag any actual issues that Tom would overlook.

(If Tom had a special needs kid I think he’d still be the same way. When they got diagnosed I think he’d be 😕 for all of five seconds and then he would go ‘okay but my child is still the best and smartest and most special of all the other children regardless’.)

I also think he’d definitely play with his kids and go all-in. To me he is one of those guys who tries to be all mAsCuLiNe and whatever in the workplace and then he goes home and lets his daughter use him as a pony in her Princess castle who is also the royal advisor in her surprisingly complicated make-believe games of political intrigue. If he’s having a conversation with another adult and Perseus interrupts with some nonsense about the state of centaurs in the magic kingdom Tom treats it with all the seriousness of someone telling him Waystar’s in a brand new PR crisis. One of them gives him a crown they made out of pipe cleaners and he solemnly accepts it and then genuinely forgets to take it off until he goes to bed.

As they get older I think he stays very supportive and engaged in whatever their interests are. I don’t think he would miss a recital or a game unless there was really truly an emergency he absolutely had to deal with. He’s also, unfortunately, the kind of parent that needs to be involved in whatever their kid’s hobby is. If one of his kids is into dance he’s gonna be a dance mom. If it’s theatre he’s gonna be a theatre mom. If it’s little league he’s gonna try and coach from the sidelines. Once again other parents are going to hate him. I do think it reaches the point of being embarrassing for his kids, and every time they complain he backs off for about a week and then goes back to being just as bad as before.

When they host sleepovers (which is very often) Tom needs them to be objectively the best sleepovers. He buys too much junk food, and then he does the whole ‘okay lights out’ routine while fully aware the kids are sneaking out to the living room to watch TV and he lets them so that they can have the thrill of rebellion. When they do eventually fall asleep in front of the TV he goes out and throws blankets over everybody. Then he makes pancakes in the morning and lets them go absolutely hogwild on the whipped cream and candy, and sends them home with a sugar high. Once again. The other parents WILL hate him. (This is a major theme in Tom's life as a parent.) They will keep sending their kids for sleepovers though because he hosts SO often and it's basically free babysitting.

I think in high school when his kids start dating he’s gonna get weird about it. He is gonna be the dad who’s like “no one’s good enough for my little girl” except it’ll go for all his kids regardless of gender. He has obscenely high standards for his kids and no boyfriend or girlfriend is ever going to meet them. He does resign himself to this pretty early, and he doesn’t forbid them from dating because he knows how that ends, but when SOs come over for dinner they always feel kind of like he’s subtly death glaring them. He lets his kids invite their SOs to family vacations, which the kids think is great but the SOs are always mildly afraid he’s gonna murder them. The kids think they’re just being paranoid.

He also gives good, thoughtful advice. Once they hit high school he starts making a deliberate conscious effort to be the kind of parent they feel comfortable going to about tricky or uncomfortable things. He’s not always good at not immediately reacting emotionally if they tell him something upsetting or they’ve gotten into some kind of trouble, but he makes a real effort to be non-judgmental and open, and to take the approach of ‘okay, so that was a bad decision but now I’m gonna help you fix it’, so his kids do feel comfortable going to him, and they know to just wait out the initial emotional reaction until he gets a hold of himself (which he gets better at doing more quickly over time).

Also I think he’s AMAZING at dealing with breakups. When his kids dump or get dumped it’s all-out, ice cream on the couch, a weekend of whatever breakup movies are most gonna help them. He does immediately jump to the ‘I always though you were too good for them anyways’ which is sometimes kind of annoying, but it is well-intentioned so they let it slide.

I think he’s going to try to be super in-contact with his kids as adults. The whole ‘saw a snail today, effervescent’ meme will be him but with his kids. They don’t always answer his texts because he texts them literally all the time, but they will try to do an emoji react or something bc if he thinks they’re ignoring him he will just start texting more. He sends them memes he thinks are funny, or that they’ll find funny. They generally are not funny to them bc they’re very much Gen X memes, but they laugh react anyways. They go home to visit pretty regularly and Tom always makes a production of it, like they haven’t seen each other in AGES, even though actually they saw each other 6 weeks ago at their cousin’s wedding wedding and then 4 weeks before for somebody’s birthday, and also they’re coming back to visit again 3 weeks just because they’re gonna be in town for work reasons.

And finally - he’s gonna cry when they go to college. He’s also going to cry when they graduate. And he’s going to cry at their weddings. And he’s going to cry when they get their first job and on their eighteenth birthdays and if they move out of the state and just. At literally any life event that reminds him that they’re getting older and leaving the nest. Not full on weeping, but definitely the kind of almost-crying we saw during his wedding toast. They all know to just pretend they don’t see it because he gets weird and defensive if you draw any attention to it.

#I got kinda carried away with this #I should’ve gone to bed a while ago but daddy Tom is just. SO precious to me #also he would definitely give his kids pretentious names from greek mythology

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andvys · 3 years

Text

bad idea / part 3

warnings: angst, violence, infected

pairing: Ellie Williams x reader

Staring into the mirror, Ellie couldn't help but hate her own reflection. She couldn't believe what words she has thrown at you, she was consumed by anger and jealousy when she saw you with Jesse.

She knew it was her fault, she was the one who pushed you away after your night together and she did it for Jesse.

She thought he liked you and she didn't want to come in between you but now she hated herself for pushing you away like that just so her friend could be happy.

But what about herself?

She never allowed herself to be happy.

She’d rather give her happiness away to someone than to keep it for herself.

She liked you, from the moment she saw you, it was like she found someone she’s been waiting for all this time and now you were gone again and it was her own fault.

You probably hated her and Ellie wouldn't blame you if you did, she hated herself for treating you like shit and insulting you like that.

“fuck.” she muttered to herself as she stared at herself in the mirror.

She wanted to apologize, to tell you that she is sorry, to tell you that she didn't mean what she said but she knew this wasn't the right time, she was the last person you wanted to see right now.

A few days went by since the incident outside the bar and you tried to avoid seeing any of those people that saw your interaction with Ellie, she humiliated you in front of them and as if it wasn't embarrassing enough you had to go on patrol with one of them.

He didn't laugh at you and he didn't bring it up either but it was still awkward, you were surprised that none of these guys gave you dirty looks or left bad comments after Ellie called you a slut, you were thankful for that but you still avoided being seen for a few days, only leaving the house to go on patrol or get some food. Luckily you haven't ran into Ellie either but that was about to change when you saw who you were paired up with for tomorrow’s patrol.

“you have got to be fucking kidding me.” you mumbled as you saw your name written on the board along with Ellie’s “fucking great.”

You didn't know that she was patrolling again, you thought she was still working at the cafe.

She was the last person you wanted to go on Patrol with, you didn't even know how you were going to look at her.

How were you going to spend a whole day with her after what happened?

You dreaded today and it came way quicker than you wanted it to. You couldn't even fall asleep last night, the thought of having to be around her for so long left you feeling uncomfortable.

You were mad at her but you were also hurt by her behavior but you wouldn't give her the satisfaction and let her see how much her words affected you.

As you arrived at the gates you saw her waiting for you already.

You saw her turn her head towards you causing you to look away, you didn't want to look at her, without sparing her a glance you got on top of your horse and made your way through the gates once they opened.

Ellie watched as you rode past her, completely ignoring her, she couldn't blame you, she would've reacted the same way if she was in your place.

Sighing, she knew this would be a long day.

“we’re supposed to check out the school.” Ellie said, pointing out to the big building.

“I know that.” You stated, rolling your eyes.

You were annoyed at her, all the way till here she was trying to talk to you but you brushed her off.

You pulled out your machete and walked past Ellie, making your way over to a window to take a peek inside before going in.

But Ellie went to the doors already and pulled them open, shaking your head in annoyance, you were mad at her already and she was just making things worse now.

She walked in without hesitation, you followed her inside.

“you couldn't have waited?” you asked, looking at her.

“for what exactly?” she asked, without sparing you a glance.

“uh to see if and how many infected there are..”

“we would have to take care of them anyways so we shouldn't waste our time.” she mumbled.

“whatever you say.” you responded, rolling your eyes before you took off into a different direction, not wanting to be around her any longer.

“where are you going?!” she asked, looking after you in concern.

“away from you.” you said, before walking around the corner to go and check out the cafeteria.

Ellie mumbled something under her breath before following you.

“oh fuck.” you mumbled as you spotted the dead body on the floor, behind the counter.

Ellie walked over to where you were standing and looked at you before looking at the dead guy. Scrunching up her face in disgust as she eyed him.

“shit.. that’s fresh.” she said, looking around the cafeteria she couldn't spot any other dead bodies, just this one.

“stay quiet and watch yourself.” she told you as she eyed your face.

“you watch yourself.” you grumbled, rolling your eyes at her before walking away, leaving her standing there.

Ellie stood back and watched you, shaking her head, she sighed before crouching down to inspect the dead guy some more.

The hallways were empty and quiet, no sight of infected or any other threat which was supposed to give you a feeling of relief but for some reason you felt uncomfortable and anxious.

Looking around, you spotted all the school trophies that were left behind, you walked over to the shelf, eying the pictures that were next to the trophies.

It saddened you to know that all these people used to have normal life’s and then all of the sudden the world turned to shit, causing most of the population to die and turn into these monsters.

The thought was sad but people like Ellie and you had it easier than them, you were born into this world, you knew no different world.

You were born to fight and to become killers.

It was natural to you.

Stepping away from the shelf, you turned around and walked towards one of the old classrooms.

You opened the door and gasped at the sight of clickers standing in the room, you didn't even hear the sounds coming from the classroom before you opened the door. You were about to close the door as they haven't heard you yet when you were suddenly tackled from the side by a runner.

You hit the ground as the runner made it’s way on top of you, you lost grip of your machete when you fell causing it to fall to the ground.

“fuck.” you grumbled as you tried to fight off the runner that was trying to scratch and bite you, the grunts coming from it alerted the clickers as they already started making their way towards the sound of your struggles.

Panic settled in your chest as you couldn't get ahold of your machete and the sight of clickers stumbling out of the classroom.

You had to react quickly or you would face death sooner than you thought you would. You held the runner’s neck away from you with one hand while you grabbed your knife from your belt and slit his throat, the blood spilling all over you as you turned away to avoid it covering your face.

Throwing him off you, you started crawling back looking at the clickers in panic as they were getting closer to you.

Suddenly you felt two hands pulling you up from behind.

“come on y/n!” Ellie grunted as she grabbed your hand, pulling you back.

Your eyes widened as you saw more clickers emerging from another room.

“fuck run!” you yelled at her, turning around you both started sprinting down the hallway, with the infected close behind you.

“in there!” Ellie yelled, opening the door she pushed you inside before running in shutting the door.

Both you and Ellie started barricading the door with anything you could find, you could hear the infected banging against the door, looking at the door in worry, you knew the barricade wouldn't last long.

Leaning against the wall, you closed your eyes, sighing, annoyed at yourself for being so careless.

“you okay?” Ellie asked, glancing at you, eying you in worry, hoping you didn't get bit.

“yeah.” you replied, almost scoffing, as if she cared.

You went over to the window and looked out, glad that you weren't on the upper floors, at least you wouldn't have to jump down and risk breaking any bones.

“so how should we do this? should we take care of it or come back with a group?” you asked turning around to look at her.

“there’s too many of them.” she said as she stared at you “we’re gonna come back with a group.”

Nodding, you opened the window and climbed out, waiting for Ellie to follow you as you looked around making sure there weren't any infected around.

Walking around the corner of the building you immediately retracted when you saw the clickers in the parking lot. They weren't there before, how did they get there?

Ellie almost bumped into you when you halted in your tracks, abruptly.

“what’s wrong?” she asked.

“clickers.” you mumbled, taking a peek around the corner of the building.

“shit.”

“they’re coming out of the school.” you mumbled, you were sure you closed the door when you walked inside earlier, this day was getting worse and worse.

“there are about 10 of them, we need to close the door, so more won’t come out.” you told her, going to grab your machete, when you realized you dropped it when you were tackled to the floor by that runner. “fuck..”

“what?” Ellie asked.

“I lost my machete.” you sighed.

“here take mine.” she said, pulling it out of her backpack, offering you to take it.

You looked at the machete before looking at her, noting the way she looked at you.

Her gaze was filled with regret but you wouldn't let it fool you, whether she was drunk that night or not, it didn't matter, she said what she thought about you, there was no reason for her to regret it now.

“thanks.” you mumbled as you grabbed it from her hand.

Ellie looked at you, hating how cold you were towards her, she deserved it but it still hurt. She wanted to make it right again but she didn't know how.

“alright.. we gotta close the door quickly before more come out.” Ellie said before walking around the corner “move quietly, they haven't heard us yet.”

Nodding your head, you started sneaking towards the entrance of the school, once you made it to the door, you closed it quietly and turned around.

“you ready?” Ellie asked you grabbing her bow off her back.

“yeah.”

You quickly took care of the few clickers that were roaming around. You hated to admit it but you and Ellie made a good team, you were both quick on your feet and you were quiet, none of the clickers were startled, meaning you handled the situation rather calmly.

Pulling the machete out of the clickers skull, you let it drop to the floor. Looking around impressed, you watched as Ellie collected her arrows.

The one clicker in front of you had one of her arrows sticking out, you bend down to pull it out and walked over to her, handing it to her, she looked at you before grabbing it, mumbling a quiet thanks.

Nodding at her, you wiped the machete clean before giving it to her.

“uh keep it.. at least till we’re back in Jackson.” she told you, staring at your face, looking like she wanted to say more but before she could you mumbled out a quiet okay and started to walk back to your horse.

“okay.” Ellie mumbled staring at you as you left, she nodded to herself before going after you.

You were surprised that Ellie hasn't tried to talk to you on the way back to Jackson. She would glance at you every now and then but wouldn't say anything.

You were glad she didn't, you still didn't want to talk to her.

You gave her back her machete once you brought your horses back to the stables.

She took it from your hands, her fingers brushing yours in the process, sending sparks through your body as you felt her touch again.

Your eyes snapped to hers before you retracted your hand from hers, turning around immediately you went to walk away before you remembered you haven't thanked her for saving your life back at the school.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath before turning around to look at her again.

She eyed you in curiosity as you stared at her unable to get a word out for a few seconds.

“thank you.” you said, watching as her face furrowed in confusion “for saving me at the school, I mean.” you added before turning around again, leaving before she could say anything to you.

Before you could get out of the stables she called your name causing you to stop walking, turning around once again you saw her walking towards you, stopping in front of you, making sure she kept distance between you as she didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable.

“what?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

She hesitated, furrowing her brows as she looked at you, she started fumbling with her hands, looking nervous to say whatever she was going to say.

“I wa-wanted to apologize.” she said, staring into your eyes with her sad ones “I’m really sorry, there's no excuse as to why I said that to you, I shouldn't have called you that.” she added.

Shaking your head “that? you mean you shouldn't have called me a slut?” you scoffed.

“I shouldn't have!” she said, looking at you with a panicked expression, not wanting to get into another fight with you “I didn't mean it.. I was just..-”

“You were just what Ellie?” you exclaimed, frowning “you treated me like shit the day after the bonfire and then you made it even worse, I liked you Ellie and fuck I thought you liked me too but then you go and do that.”

She looked at you with a pained expression on her face, she wanted to tell you why she pushed you away the day after the bonfire but she couldn't, you wouldn't believe her anyways, not after what she did outside the bar.

“you really hurt me and there's no taking it back.” you said, looking at her sad face before you began to walk away only to stop once again.

“and for the record, I didn't sleep with Jesse, I don’t like him that way, at all.” you mumbled before you left.

Ellie let out a sigh, looking down at the ground as she thought about your words.

‘I don’t like him that way, at all.’

She felt stupid about not considering your feelings in this all along, she thought about Jesse, wanting him to be happy but she didn't even consider the fact that you might not even like Jesse.

“fuck.. I’m so dumb.” she muttered under her breath.

She promised herself that she would fix it no matter how long it would take her, she wouldn't just let you go like that now.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams imagine #tlou ellie #ellie williams #tlou imagines #tlou angst

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alengmae · 3 years

Text

Every Story Is Us (CH 5)

(AN: I was convinced by Jess to post this here. IDK why Jess but you work in mysterious ways. To read this in AO3 and my other drabbles, visit here.)

“What you seek is seeking you.”

~Rumi

Penelope choked on her the tiny sip of wine she took. She started coughing but her date carried on like nothing was amiss.

“Yeah, you remind me so much of her. You should meet Mother. I just know she will love you,” he gushed further. He gave her an expectant grin.

She gaped at him in astonishment. They literally just sat down not fifteen minutes ago, yet he was already talking about her meeting his mother on their first date. She knew it was a bad idea to trust Eloise and Fran’s idea. Tinder dates were really not her style. And, based on her first date, she felt vindicated.

She was about to set the record straight when the server came to their table and took their order. She opened her mouth to speak but her date was a lot faster.

“She’ll have the Steak Diane. You don’t mind me ordering for you, right?” he asked as he turned to her.

Penelope was too dumbfounded to respond. He was hitting all her red flags and he was completely oblivious to her irritation, which was awfully apparent since the server’s professional smile turned into a wince. She only raised her glass of wine to the server, who understood immediately her need for more booze. If the server were considerate, she would bring an entire bottle for her.

“Oh and separate bill,” he added before explaining to her with a hint of condescension, “I like to go Dutch on the first date. You don’t mind, do you? Of course you don’t!”

Honestly, she didn’t mind at all. If anything, she would have insisted on it. She felt that he was the type to lord it over after dinner, expecting for something in return. But the way he went on another tangent about his mother, she just knew she was not going to last the appetizer course.

She cursed Eloise and Fran heavily in her head. They insisted she try out the app and look where it got her. She should have followed Daphne’s instructions, to never get caught up in her younger sisters’ shenanigans. As she listened to her date drone on and on, one thing became clear in her mind. She needed new friends.

Nay, better friends.

She just moved from Ireland to London for work. And she met Eloise, a fellow teacher, not too long ago and they clicked immediately. Soon, she was invited to all their brunches and dinners. She fell in love with her family instantly, all eight of them. Although, there was a Bridgerton brother she has not met yet. Seemingly, that Bridgerton was off traveling the world and was on a lengthy tour this time around. And, if he was anything like his siblings, she knew she would come to love him too. But, right now, that love she felt for all things Bridgerton started to wane. She said she didn’t want a date but no, Eloise and Fran had to drag her kicking and screaming into one.

She was pulled out of her reverie when her date grasped her hand. He gently caressed her with his clammy hand and she nearly shivered from disgust because why was his hand so wet?

“I just knew as soon as I saw your picture you’d be the one. Even mother said you’d be a good wife with your wide-set hips,” he beamed at her.

“Oh my god,” she gasped out loud. She tugged her hand back and excused herself to the restroom. She needed to get out of this date. Never in her life had she felt so uncomfortable. She frantically dialed Eloise to come save her but there was no reception at all. Her annoyance reached an all-time high. Was there a fucking signal blocker installed in this facility? She lingered outside the restroom, hidden by the stately plants decorating the restaurant, and repeatedly scrolled through her phone for a miracle. She was close to screaming in frustration.

It was then she felt a finger lightly poke her back. She swiveled around and saw the most gorgeous man she had ever seen. He was exactly her type: tall, dark and handsome. He was incredibly fit, and wearing clothes that highlighted his muscular body. He had on a sympathetic smile and lips that were begging to be kissed. Well, hello there. Maybe his attractiveness short-circuited her brain because she just stood there gaping at him like an idiot.

“Sorry,” he modestly started, “I couldn’t help but notice. Are you alright?”

Penelope nodded, heat spreading on her cheeks. She must have looked like a mad woman, pacing to and fro in front of the restroom. She smiled weakly at him.

“Are you sure?” He glanced in the direction of her date and she grimaced. Her date was openly picking his nose in public at the moment. Penelope had to close her eyes in an effort not to shudder in repugnance. “Anne told me you might need saving.”

She perked up at the name of her server. She might have found her salvation after all. “I…actually, I might,” she bashfully admitted. “I need rescuing from my date. It’s a Tinder date.” She felt the need to explain why. Obviously, this handsome man in front of her probably think she was crazy for going on this date in the first place. And, just in case he might be interested, she wanted to make herself appear saner.

“No worries. I’m your guy,” he reassured her. When he grinned at her, she swore it went straight between her legs. The pull of her attraction to him was insanely intense. She had never felt anything like this before with other men.

“Colin, by the way,” he held out his hand, which she met coyly. “Penelope.”

She marveled at how long his fingers were compared to hers, how rough his skin was against hers and how dry his hands was compared to her date. Her mind started to wander to more wanton thoughts as he shook her hand. His fingers should be illegal, she mused. When he let go, she already mourned the loss of contact.

“Alright, Penelope. I’ll be your knight in shining armor tonight,” he stated excitedly.

Ugh, and he’s charming too? How the hell was he real?

He urged her back to her date without a game plan, only a wink. She got too pre-occupied with said wink to even ask about how he planned on rescuing her. She reluctantly sat down across her date again.

“You sure took your time there,” her date stated said evenly. “I hate waiting. Be more prudent next time.”

She almost threw the basket of breadsticks to his face. Colin better come right away or else, she will stab the man in front of her in the eye with a breadstick. Before she could openly berate him, Colin marched to their table purposefully. He stopped with a loud dramatic gasp.

“Penelope, how could you?” he bellowed scandalously. “After ten years of marriage, this is what you’re doing?”

“What the fuck…” she mumbled in shock at his theatrical display. Her date appeared to be equally confused at the scene in front of them.

“And you left Colin Jr at home by himself to meet up with this man?” Colin continued his melodrama without pausing. “What does he have that I don’t?”

“Wait, you have a kid?” her date’s furious question jerked her from her bewilderment.

“I-“

“I thought you were a virgin!” he cut her off, for the nth time this night.

“That’s where you draw the line? Me not being a virgin?” her incredulous voice was shrill in affront.

Even Colin stopped with his dramatics with a revolted, “Dude.”

Thankfully, this was the moment her date decided to storm out. “Mother was right, after all. Never trust anyone from the internet,” he spat at her before he left.

Penelope hissed back, “It goes both ways!” She clutched her wine glass and chugged the contents in one go.

Colin took her date’s seat and stared at her, eyes twinkling in amusement.

She glared at him. “And you, Colin Jr really?” she asked with a huff.

“I got carried away. You should have seen your face!” He laughed out loud. But she had a sneaking suspicion that he planned it all from the start. She supposed, once that her outrage had passed, it was hilarious. She started giggling with him.

He was about to stand when the food came out, along with a bottle of wine. Penelope stopped him from leaving. “It’s a shame to waste all these food I’d end up paying for. And really want to thank you for saving me from that horrible date.”

He appeared hesitate so she added further, “After ten years of marriage, this is the least I could do.”

He laughed out loud again. It definitely was her libido acting up because she felt herself swoon slightly to his baritone laughter. She found herself wondering if he had a Tinder account. He gestured for her to pick which plate was hers. She gratefully took her previous date’s salmon dish and pushed the steak towards him. They ate, happily chatting about everything under the sun. He regaled her with stories of his vast travels, one story similarly exciting as the next. She offered her childhood tales from her Irish motherland. He started talking about his work, and how he just came back from Morocco after missing his boisterous family. And she started opening up about her insecurity of being in an unfamiliar country all by herself. He held her hand in consolation as she admitted succumbing to homesickness sometimes. He comforted her by recounting comical anecdotes from his travels.

If she was awestruck by his good-looks, she was even more enamored by his wit and sense of humor. He made her laugh so hard but he also made her think. There was nothing sexier than a sharp intellect. He was becoming more dangerous to her as more times passed.

They stayed together until it was closing time. And she barely noticed the passage of time. It wasn’t until Anne cleared her throat in front of them that they noted that they were the only patrons in the restaurant left. She awkwardly asked for the cheque but Colin stopped her.

“This one’s on me, Anne.”

Their server nodded and bid them a good night before leaving.

“What? Wait, Anne!” She tried stopping her but her pleas fell on deaf ears. “I was supposed to treat you,” she grumbled lightly to Colin.

He shrugged. “How can I ask the mother of my child, Colin Jr, to pay for our date?”

She paused, blushing profusely. “Even if she dared to date someone else tonight?” she teased playfully.

He leaned in, whispering conspiratorially, “Even when she tried to date someone else tonight. And might I add, she looks absolutely lovely tonight.”

Smooth like fucking butter. Her face must be red as a tomato right now, she reckoned. “Well, Colin Jr’s dad is not bad looking either.”

He beamed at her. She wanted to look away because he was too beautiful, it’s just not right. But he gently grasped her hand and asked softly, “Can I have your number? I really liked our time together and I really like you.”

“I like you too,” she replied, breathless.

He started leaning towards her, eyes locked on her lips. She did the same, magnetically slanting her body closer to his. Just when they were a fraction of an inch away, the kitchen door busted open with Anne bustling out.

“Boss, do you want-oops! My bad!” She retreated as fast as she came.

Damn it, Anne! Her scowl must have been a sight since he started chortling. He kissed the back of her hand reverently after to assuage her.

“Wait, she said boss?”

It was his turn to be sheepish. “I own this place.”

She blinked. That explained his intervention. “I clearly chose the wrong place to cheat on Colin Jr’s father.”

“I don’t know. I thought you were at the perfect place and time. I think I’m plenty lucky tonight,” he said sincerely.

She didn’t think she should voice out that if he kept on being sweet like that, he will get even luckier tonight. She only replied, “I’m glad.”

She exchanged numbers with him eagerly before bidding him a good night. But before she could step out from the restaurant, he gathered her in his arms and crashed his lips against hers. And it was magic and satisfaction and bliss and release all rolled into one. She clung to him, desperate against the tide of overwhelming emotions. When his tongue slipped into her mouth, she was completely swept away. It felt as if she would come undone with just a flick of his tongue. When they broke apart, they were gasping for air and sporting giddy grins.

“Good night, Colin,” she called out sweetly.

“Good night, Penelope.”

She didn’t sleep at all that night. The butterflies in her stomach were too flighty. And her excitement could not be abated, even as she knew she was attending a Bridgerton brunch the next day. She was groggy when she came in but a smile could not seem to leave her face.

Eloise pulled her aside to interrogate her about her Tinder date last night but the flurry of excitement filled the room. Everyone was enthusiastic for some reason. “The long lost Bridgerton is finally coming home. The prodigal son has returned,” Eloise said wryly. But Penelope detected her friend’s delight beneath all the sarcasm.

“Oh, that’s good,” she could not help but mirror her friend’s pleasant demeanor. She was already riding the high from last night. Another cause for celebration was just the cherry on top.

“Yeah, apparently he came back yesterday from Morocco in secret so he could surprise us. But Hyacinth still can’t keep her trap shut, ruining the surprise.”

“Morocco?”

It was then that she heard a familiar voice bellow out his greetings. She whipped her head fast and her eyes met his across the room. It was cliché but she would swear to anyone who would listen that at that moment, time slowed down. When their eyes met, it felt like nothing else mattered. And her heart leapt in anticipation as he crossed the sea of people to meet her.

“Penelope?”

“Colin.”

“You two know each other?” Eloise asked, awed.

She smiled brightly, eyes locked onto Colin. “Of course! We’ve been married, what…ten years now?”

He snickered harder upon seeing everyone’s bewildered faces. “Colin Jr missed you last night.”

Eloise interrupted again, “Is he talking about his dick?”

Penelope chose to ignore her friend now that Colin intertwined his hand with hers. “Did he now? I should go visit him some time.”

“I’m sure he’ll be ecstatic with your visit.”

“So how does tonight sound?” she asked, playful in her inquiry but nervous with his answer.

He kissed the back of her hand sweetly. “Perfect. I know a place. They serve the best Steak Diane.”

She laughed.

#bridgerton #polin #colelope #polin fic #colin x penelope #horror dates #tinder date

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sparklycardigan · 3 years

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I think a lot of people talk about "the Downfall of Rory Gilmore" especially because of the plot of the Revival, in which she was struggling in both her professional and private life. But the show never really indicated that she'd been struggling continually (even though I feel like a lot of people jumped to that conclusion for some reason), but that she was going through a temporary period where she was feeling disillusioned and directionless (Jess even called it a "rut," implying that this had NOT been her constant state of being ever since the end of the original show). And some people criticized the fact that Rory seemed half-hearted about pursuing job opportunities she thought were more "shallow" than what she wanted. But that plays right into the "I want to be Great or nothing" thing that has ALWAYS been a part of her character. Way back in Season 1, her reasoning for wanting to be a journalist was to be "part of something important." Writing fluff pieces for a Buzzfeed equivalent was not what she wanted to do. But as you said, "the world is hard on ambitious girls." The fact that she aimed high and didn't quite achieve all her dreams is unacceptable. (Though her mess with Logan in the Revival certainly plays a part in people's judgement of her also.)

I think the phrase "The world is hard on ambitious girls." does a lot more than I could. But I still have to answer this ask because I'm me, so: if anybody reading this finds themselves in a position where hate anonymous ask seems like a great option, please reconsider and hit that block button. That way, you will never see this crazy tumblr again!

I feel like Rory's personal life has a lot more to do with the so called "downfall" than anything else. And I'm not saying that what she's doing is in any way right, but it effects people differently than it would in a world where Rory is perhaps a male character. We never cut the girls any slack, but we excuse the behaviour of very questionable male characters because we love them. For girls, it seems like we're always waiting for a mistake, like it's somehow easier to hate a female character than it is a male. I mean, remember how the town treated Rory after the Dean affair? Like Dean is not a person at all, like she was this mastermind manipulator behind everything that happened (sadly, this is how we usually treat our women in real life too...) opposed to the way she was treated after the car accident with Jess, but that wasn't the same. She wasn't fine physically therefore it couldn't have been her fault and of course Jess is the devil so the answer kind of formulated itself for Stars Hollow. And her innocence wasn't up to debate, as long as she fit into that perfect kid image, she was fine. Amy March has been mistreated for decades for burning that manuscript as a freaking child. Interesting given the time frame for each character. And the chapter in which Amy burns the manuscript is titled in a way that explicitly reveals Jo as the one who was supposed to learn something from the events. When it comes to the Amy/Laurie/Jo discourse, people blaming Laurie (and there's really no one to blame here) have only started appearing in the near past. Amy is to blame for marrying Laurie, not the other way around (both of these takes are, with all due respect, ridiculous, but you get my point). Huh... Back to GG, when it comes to Rory's professional life, you have said it all. Let's not forget that Rory has a habit of feeling down when she thinks herself to be anything other than perfect. I remember her doing well in math and math related subjects and being slightly worse in literary subjects in one episode and she acted as if that was the end of the world even though the results she accomplished were objectively great. She's more than hard on herself, so her calling herself a failure is an extremely subjective statement (funny how Jess is the person she shares this with, huh?). She won't settle for anything other than great, actually: Rory Gilmore will not allow herself to settle for anything at all. And that's exactly the Rory I know and love. That's who's she's always been. She has this set of rules in her head, set of rules she feels obligated to follow (and she's the one putting that kind of pressure on her shoulders), set of goals she needs to achieve in order to be the person she wants herself to be and once something happens, something that doesn't align with those rules of hers, she experiences it as a personal failure and crowns herself worthless and incapable (she usually gets right back on track, sometimes with a little push from someone important to her, but nobody seems to care about that). Rory is the first person to put herself down when she doesn't live up to her own (+ everybody else's expectations), Rory feels bad about herself way before the viewer even has a chance to judge her character, no wonder hating on Rory Gilmore doesn't appear to be that big of a challenge. She's her own worst enemy, that's why jumping to the "she's been failing consistently since we last saw her" conclusion feels somewhat justified, we watch this show through Lorelai and Rory's eyes after all.

I think a big part of Rory's personality is that bit you mentioned (a part of something important): she wants what she does in her life to matter. She wants to be someone of value, she wants her life to be more than just mere existing. That's where she's a lot like Jo March ("I want to do something splendid, something heroic or wonderful that won't be forgotten after I'm dead"), but then again, I always saw Amy and Jo as very similar people. Professionally, I don't consider her to be failing, but then I might be projecting on her here because I'm kind of the same when it comes to those things. I'm also not that emotionally intelligent either which might be why her personal affairs don't bug me in a way that they would someone else and of course everyone's opinion is valid. I just think "downfall" is too harsh of a word to call what she's going through. Revival needed to catch her in some form of a struggle, that's how TV works, the drama, as much as I hate it, is a big part of it. I believe we just caught her at a bad time.

For the record, this is just my opinion, created based on the unique collection of my own experiences and views on the world, just like everybody else's, and if anybody doesn't agree with it, please don't interact with the post unless you intend to share your observations in a kind and intellectual manner. I'm willing to take different views under consideration, just please be nice while offering an insight.

#rory gilmore #gg meta #gilmore girls #gilmore girls a year in the life #gilmore girls revival #amy march #little women #jo rambles #this post just proves that i have lw memorized to pieces...#sparkly answers

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rizlowwritessortof · 3 years

Text

Riz’s Master List

Just updated my master list (finally) - haven’t added anything new for a few months, unfortunately, but I’m working on it! Links below the cut. HUGE THANKS to @firefly-graphics for the dividers, you are a GIFT, my friend!

Never Look Back

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 21 chapters

Bethany Rae Cooper didn’t realize when she met the Winchesters in her family’s bar and grill that her life would never be the same. But she’s always believed that everything happens for a reason, even if it’s not exactly what you were expecting…

The Shadow’s Edge

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 17 chapters

Sequel to Never Look Back. When the demon Dameon was killed, Dean and Beth thought their son was safe from the prophecy. But when Cas brings them news of the new battle for Hell, they realize that their war has just begun.

The Fine Line

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 34 chapters

An unexpected tragedy sends Devon down the dark path of hate and vengeance, but she will learn that things are not always what they seem…

Scars

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 10 chapters

Sequel to The Fine Line. Dean and Devon’s relationship has always been stormy - but can they work through the scars of their past to find each other again?

Stars In the Darkness

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 8 chapters

A crushing loss brings Dean and Sam to Sioux Falls, and ghosts from the past and present bring them across the path of Tiara, a girl they haven’t seen since childhood.

Dreaming

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 5 chapters

Dean Winchester has always been a bit of a thorn in Kelsey’s side - a very attractive thorn, but still… A visit at her uncle Bobby’s reunites her with the boys, and she begins having vivid dreams - about Dean. Is it just her subconscious trying to tell her something? Or is there more to it than that?

My Unimportant Little Life

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 11 chapters

Season 5 timeline. Dean gets yanked from 2009 to 2014, so he can see the ‘consequences’ of saying no to Michael. At Camp Chitaqua he meets Reggie, and is surprised to find that she comes from 2009 as well…

Back In the Saddle

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 10 chapters

Dean and Sam are back in the old west again - in answer to a cry for help from Samuel Colt. And if Dean just happens to get tangled up with the spirited redhead that owns the saloon… what’s the harm, right?

Sweet Escape

Dean/Female Reader, 2 parts

What happens when a friend jokingly does a spell at your birthday party to bring your cardboard standup of Dean Winchester to life? This one’s dedicated to my friend, Liz, who gave me the idea. If only…

Sweet Escape Part 1

Sweet Escape Part 2

Shut Up and Drive

Dean/Female Reader, 2 parts

Reader teases Dean while he’s driving, so - he gets even

Part 1 - Keep Your Eyes on the Road

Part 2 - Or We Could Park - Parking Is Good Too

Take the Long Way Home

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 8 chapters

A look at Dean and Rusty’s relationship, in the present and through their memories. Flashbacks/memories are in italics.

Black Velvet

Demon!Dean/Female Reader, Dean/Female Reader, 9 chapters

You and Sam are broken after Dean’s death. Nobody expected him to come back with black eyes…

Fade to Black

Dean/Female Reader, 11 chapters

Sequel to Black Velvet. Dean is no longer a demon, but he’s still cursed with the Mark of Cain, and the lure of that darkness grows stronger as time goes on.

Dean and Toby Series

Part 1 - The Meet-Cute (Actually Rescue but Whatever)

Part 2 - The Emergency Bed-Share/Move In With Us Combo

Part 3 - The Hit and Then Run Like Your Ass Is On Fire

Part 4 - The FINALLY Admit Your True Feelings and Get Busy

GENERIC

I’m Good

This is the story that was published in the Seasons - Supernatural Short Story Anthology in 2017. Bobby sharing some memories.

Combo Shot

Dean/Female Reader

June 2015 GIEPP (Girl In Every Port Project) entry. Prompt: Pool/Poker hustler competitive chick. Pretty much pure smut.

A Hunter Walks Into a Bar

Dean/Female OC

Prowling hunter, sassy bartender

Shelter

Dean/Female Reader

Dean providing comfort

That’s How It Should Be

Sheriff!Dean/Female Reader

They have to make a fast escape, but Dean won’t let being on horseback stand in the way of showing a lady a good time

The Storm

Dean/Female Reader

You’re terrified of storms, and Dean is concerned, feelings get shared

Pest Control

Dean/Female Reader

You think you’ve got mice. The exterminator that shows up is Dean Winchester. He’ll just let you believe that, and take care of the problem. And you.

Happy Birthday, Baby

Dean/Female OC (KK)

Fluffy, smutty birthday fic written for a friend

Gunpowder and Dean

Dean/Female Reader

You’re pissed off at Dean, taking it out on the firing range, but he just won’t leave you alone…

Juicy and Delicious

Dean/Female Reader

My entry for Dean’s Flavor of the Month fic challenge - Peach Pie. You bake some peach pies for Dean, and he’s very grateful…

Lost In You

Dean/Female Reader

A casual flirtation leads to a violent encounter, and Dean’s reaction is a little more than you expected. Warning for brief description of attempted (unsuccessful) assault. Protective Dean.

What You Need

Dean/Female Reader

You’re watching as Sam and Dean prepare to interrogate a demon. Dean knows you’re watching him, and he knows exactly the kind of effect it’s having on you…

Santa Claus Is Coming Tonight

Dean/Female Reader

Dean’s really getting into the Christmas spirit…

I Need You

Dean/Female Reader

You screwed up, Sam got hurt, Dean’s pissed and you aren’t handling it very well.

Snow Day

Dean/Female Reader

You and Dean, stuck in a motel room in a blizzard

Frisk Me

Dean/Female Cop Reader

You’re a cop, in hot pursuit of a murderer, and guess who crosses your path?

Comfort

Dean/Female Reader

Dean had a rough hunt, and he’s beating himself up as usual. You take his mind off things for a little while…

When I Think About You

Dean/Female Reader

It was a wild hunt, and you’re both a little high-strung. Surely there’s some way to blow off some steam…

One Finger

Dean/Female Reader

Dean Winchester has never been one to back down from a challenge

What Makes You Feel Alive

Endverse!Dean/Female Reader

The world is bleak, the struggle endless after Croatoan. You and Dean do what you have to do to keep going.

Sweet Misery

Dean/Unnamed Female OC

My entry for Bev’s Song Challenge - song prompt was Cryin’ by Aerosmith, lyrics at the beginning

Winchesters Don’t Giggle

Dean/Female Reader

A friend and I were having this discussion about giving Dean a back rub, and whether he might be ticklish…

Confession

Dean (Priest!Dean)/Female Reader

When Dean returns from some undercover work, you discover a fantasy you never realized you had

The Bait

Dean/Female Reader

This was written for @jessica-bones-winchester’s (now on her 100th url as @cavillanche - Love you, Jess!) Dating Dean Writing Challenge. The prompt was ‘dressing up as an anime character for his birthday.’ And I have to admit, I really enjoyed this one… Reader dresses as Sailor Mars (from Sailor Moon) for Dean’s birthday.

Hey, Man - Nice Shot

Dean/Female Reader

This is for @jessica-bones-winchester’s ( @cavillanche ) Dating Dean Writing Challenge. The prompt was ‘competitiveness in the shooting range (loser cleans the kitchen for a week) No smut.

Take the Pain Away

Dean/Female Reader

This was written for @jessica-bones-winchester’s ( @cavillanche ) Dating Dean Writing Challenge. Prompt was ‘him taking care of you when you’re sick.’ Reader falls victim to a migraine, and Dean helps her through it. No smut.

Lose Yourself

Dean/Female Reader

Smut, pure and simple… Just imagine having Dean tied up, at your mercy while you worship those perky nipples…

The Contest

Dean/Female Reader

Dean loves to give you a hard time, and one night he pushes things a little too far… Flashback in italics. All’s well that ends well.

Slow Ride

Dean (Bullriding!Dean) /Reader

Yeah, after 12x11, y'all should have known this was coming - they don’t call me Cowgirl for nothing… Written (coincidentally - timing is everything!) for the Smut Apocalypse (Smut Appreciation Day) on Tumblr.

The Photo Booth

Dean/Unnamed Female OC - Dean’s POV

This was written for @winchestersandwordprocessors SPN Valentine’s Fic Challenge. Prompt was Semi-public/Risk of getting caught.

Make You Mine

Dean/Female Reader

Dean’s jealousy gets the best of him, which is not a bad thing…

Take a Chance

Dean/Unnamed Female OC - Dean’s POV

In 7x04, Dean gives himself a little pep talk before his planned hook-up with the bartender. That scene is what inspired me. This one is more important than the usual one-nighters, and it’s making him a little nervous…

If We Don’t Make It

Dean/Female OC

This fic was written for @whispersandwhiskerburn Angel’s 2K Follower Celebration. My song prompt was “Broken” by Lifehouse, and the dialogue prompt was “If we don’t make it out of this, I need you to know…” No smut.

My Deliverer

Dean/Female Spirit - Her POV

Dean is hunting a vengeful spirit. But another spirit is in this place, and she is drawn to him…

Friendly Advice

Dean/Female Reader - Dean POV, Reader POV

This was written for @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog Mimi’s RomCom Fluff Challenge. The fluff got a little smudged into smutty fun… oops! Two POV’s, Dean’s thoughts are in italics and Reader’s are in regular font.

Old Times

Dean/Female OC

Sequel a few years down the road from A Hunter Walks Into a Bar. Tiara goes back to the bar for a visit, and who should show up the next night but Dean Winchester… Flashback in italics.

You Can Leave Your Hat On

Dean/Female Reader (nicknamed Taz)

Inspired by the sexy AF Cowboy!Dean we were treated to in 13x06 Tombstone. Helped along by Joe Cocker’s rendition of “You Can Leave Your Hat On.“

Wish Her the Best

Dean/Female OC - Dean’s POV

This is an angsty li'l fic inspired by Thomas Rhett’s ‘Marry Me,’ tore at my heart until I finally wrote it. No smut.

A Matter of… Time?

Dean/Female Reader

This is the crackiest piece of work I’ve ever written - for @percywinchester27 Ana’s PJO Quotes Challenge. Prompt was “Don’t you ever feel that way? Like you could do a better job if you ran the world?” - “Umm - no. Me running the world would be kind of a nightmare.”

Demon Seed

Demon!Dean/Female Reader

Demon!Dean stops in for a drink and decides he wants you. He’s very persuasive. Written for @evansrogerskitten’s Hottest Dean Challenge.

Not Wasted Now

Dean/Female Reader

When you all decide to get drunk in the aftermath of a bad hunt, lines get a little blurred. Or crossed. Or fucking erased. Fluffy, smutty, comforting, sweet and sexy Dean.

Bad Guy

Demon!Dean/Female Reader

This was written for @eyes-of-a-disney-princess Rapunzel’s Tangled Up With Supernatural Challenge. My Tangled quote was “You want me to be the bad guy? Fine, now I’m the bad guy.”

Shiny

Trucker!Dean/Female OC

Trucker!Dean AU. Breaker, breaker, got your ears on? 67 Midnight Rider, put that hammer down…

Some Kind of Hero

Dean/Female OC

Written for Tiff’s WTF Challenge. Dean’s just filling up Baby, minding his own business, when he hears an argument and gets involved. Protective Dean, no smut, left that to your imagination.

Crave

Dean/Female Reader

So, have some ‘Riz is craving some sexy Dean action with a big ol’ side of schmoopy fluff’ stuff. Because I was, and I’m sharing with you - the smut and all the sickenly sweet cuddly that I just need sometimes. If y'all are in the mood for that kind of thing.

Perchance to Dream

Dean/Female OC

Using African dream root on a case leads to an awkward situation, and Karlie can’t handle the tension between her and Dean any longer

Ruined

Dean/Female Reader

Dean comes home from a hunt, and he’s had something on his mind…

Going Home

Dean/Female Reader

Written for @crispychrissy’s Gif It To Me Challenge. Overhearing only part of a conversation sends her running, but jumping to conclusions without the whole story isn’t the best decision. No smut.

Not the Smartest Thing

Dean/Female Reader - Reader POV

Only Dean Fucking Winchester could turn taking a swig of beer into pornography. Cocky bastard. But two can play at that game.

Suzy Q

Dean/Female OC - OC POV

Written for @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan’s Multi-fandom Follower Celebration Challenge. Prompt - “I think I’m having a feeling. How do I make it stop?”

Invisible Touch

Dean/Unnamed Female OC

Rowena teaches Dean something new, and he gets inspired. I have no idea where this came from, but here it is…

Maybe I’m Amazed

Dean/Unnamed Female OC

An accident leaves her unconscious and fighting for her life in the hospital, drifting in and out of awareness and memories as Dean refuses to leave her side. Written for @rockhoochie’s 1K Love Supernatural Style Writing Challenge.

Reunion

Dean/Female OC

Passing through town, Dean runs into an old high school classmate. Fluffy and smutty, no angst here!

Playing With Fire

MOC!Dean/Unnamed Female OC

Late Season 10 MOC!Dean smut fic that just wouldn’t leave me alone…

Uninvited

Michael!Dean/Dean/Unnamed Female OC

Michael gives Dean a choice, because sometimes Michael likes to watch…This one is darker than my normal, PLEASE heed the warnings.

What Happens At the Roadhouse…

Early-Season Dean/Female OC

Bailey’s just looking for a couple days post-hunt R&R at Harvelle’s - and then he shows up. Cocky bastard.

Unleashed

Post-Purgatory Dean/Female OC

She’s still struggling to cope a year after Dean disappeared in the explosion that killed Dick Roman.

The Pool House

Dean/Unnamed female OC

Inspired by a dream - one I will never forget!

The Break-In

Dean/Tara (female OC)

One night I started thinking about what it would be like using mics and earbuds and having Dean’s voice RIGHT IN YOUR EAR. And then this fic happened. Hope you enjoy!

Tired of Missing You

Dean/Journey (female OC)

This is one of those times when my story yanked the wheel out of my hands and I just went along for the ride. So if you’re in the mood for a fluffy, angsty cookie with a smutty, creamy middle - here ya go!

Compelled

Dean/Brandi (female OC)

Have you ever had a really bad day at work? I’ve never had a day quite as bad as Brandi’s - but damn, I’d love to use this method to relieve the stress…

The Devil Made Me Do It

Demon!Dean/Shea (Female OC)

Shea is in a reckless mood. Demon!Dean is happy to help her indulge that mood.

Driving Miss Baby

Dean/Reader

Dean decides you need a driving lesson in Baby.

Just a Little Story About Lou and Sam

Sam/Female OC

Lou and Sam walk into a bar… written for a friend who’s a Sammy girl

Doctor-Patient Relations

Sam/Female OC

One-shot inspired by The Born-Again Identity - sick Sammy and Dr. Nicole. Written for another Sammy-girl friend

Head vs. Heart

No title

Fourth of July

Working Saturday Isn’t So Bad

11x17 Drabble

Some Nights He Dreams

Most of the Time

The Name Game

God Bless America

Stress Relief

Dean Hurt/Comfort Drabble

@mrs-squirrel-chester ‘s Album Fanfic Writing Challenge Drabbles

Dangerous

For My Brother

In Chains

Kiss and Tell

The End of Me

Choices

Hero

Pure

In the End

#riz's master list #updated 6/12/21 #dividers by firefly-graphics

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melanielocke · 3 years

Text

Lost in the Shadows - Chapter 27

AO3

Taglist: @alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised@alastair-appreciation-month

Previous Chapter: Chapter 26

Next Chapter: Chapter 28

Thomas was still in the same position on the couch by the time Alastair reached him, both his parents on the other couch, carefully monitoring him. Thomas had put on a movie, and Alastair got the idea he was trying to ignore his parents, who both looked worried. Alastair found a way to sit beside him on the couch.

‘How are you feeling?’ he asked.

‘I slept for several hours,’ Thomas said. ‘Then my parents arrived and found out I was sick and pretty much everything went downhill from there. What about you? Did you encounter anything? No offense, but you kind of smell.’

Alastair made a face. ‘Thanks a lot.’

‘Seriously, what happened?’

‘A deer.’

Thomas frowned. ‘A deer?’

‘I have always been terrified of deer. Today just reminded me why. Or perhaps it wasn’t really a deer. Lucie decided to call it eldritch horror deer, which is the closest I can come to describing it. You don’t want to know more, trust me. Either way, it’s dead now, no need to worry about it.’

Ever since he’d seen his father’s memory of that monster, he’d been afraid of deer. Because that deer had looked completely normal too before he’d realized it wasn’t, and Alastair had realized anything could hide a monster.

‘So you smell of dead eldritch horror deer... It’s not so bad as after we got the skin and you had to swim through I don’t know what.’

‘This is why I don’t want to dedicate my life to fighting these things or be a hero or anything like that. Dead body parts are disgusting no matter what creature they come from and you always come back covered in gross smelly things. I’m going to take a bath. You want to join?’

Thomas turned very red, although that could have been the fever.

‘Maybe it’ll help you get warm,’ Alastair added.

He went upstairs to draw a bath, and threw in a good amount of bath foam with eucalyptus scent. Alastair loved the fresh sharpness of eucalyptus, and used many eucalyptus scented products. He quickly got into the shower while the bath was still not full, rinsing off the worst of the dirt, before inviting Thomas in and getting in the bath tub. Thomas still turned around while undressing, and Alastair politely looked in the other direction. With the amount of foam he’d used, there wouldn’t be much to see once Thomas was in the bath anyway and he understood Thomas might still be a bit awkward with this.

Thomas settled next to him, and Alastair turned on the bubbles. He tried to remember if Jem’s house had a bubble bath, but if not it needed one. He was pretty sure there was a big bathroom, at least, and as far as he remembered there was a bath tub but he had no idea what Jem had done to the place.

‘Is it alright if I lean against you?’ Alastair asked.

Thomas didn’t answer, just opened his arm and allowed Alastair to find a comfortable position leaning against his shoulder. Thomas really was warm and feverish.

‘How are you feeling?’ Alastair asked.

‘A lot better now that I’m in the bath. Still a little cold but I imagine that’ll be over soon enough. I’d slept for several hours on the couch and everything kind of hurts now. I took another two paracetamol before coming here, so hopefully they’ll start working soon. The eucalyptus scent really wakes me up though.’

‘It opens the airways,’ Alastair said. ‘Did the fever change at all?’

‘No, not really. I just took it again. It’s still around 38,5 degrees,’ Thomas said. ‘When I woke up my parents were there and I had to explain what was going on. They were kind of upset I didn’t immediately tell them I’d fallen ill and immediately started the whole routine of taking care of sick baby Thomas. Which is exactly why I didn’t tell them.’

Alastair took a hold of his hand. ‘Did you tell them why you didn’t want them to find out about your sickness?’

‘No,’ Thomas said.

‘Why not? It makes you unhappy that they are treating you this way.’

‘I don’t want to hurt their feelings,’ Thomas admitted. ‘I know they mean well, and I know they’re scared too.’

Alastair looked him in the eye. Often he forced himself to do that, make eye contact at just the right moment despite the discomfort. For a long time, he’d wanted nothing more than to be normal, and eye contact was part of that. With Thomas, it was easier. His eyes really were beautiful. The discomfort never quite went away though, so he settled his gaze on Thomas’ brow instead. People usually couldn’t tell when he was faking eye contact. It was only when he lied that he had to avoid someone’s gaze altogether.

‘So they have no clue that you hate being taken care of?’ Alastair asked. ‘You’ve never once asked them to stop and leave you be?’

‘I think sometimes they do ask if they’ve hurt my feelings,’ Thomas admitted. ‘When they’re being too protective. But in the moment, I always downplay it, I don’t want to hurt them and I understand why they’re protective.’

‘But if you want them to stop doing it, you don’t do it by hiding your sickness from them. You tell them how you feel, even if it is uncomfortable for them to hear.’

Alastair knew he wasn’t much better in that regard, he didn’t know how to deal with what he felt well. He was far more aware of what he felt than people thought, but that didn’t always mean he could explain it without feeling like he was crazy. Repressing and hiding was easier, but Alastair had learnt the hard way it made everything worse in the long run.

‘Maybe I can do that,’ Thomas said. ‘Thank you.’

‘Anytime. You had no issue telling me you didn’t like being taken care of,’ Alastair said.

‘No, I know that. I’m not sure why it’s different. Perhaps because if I tell my parents, they’ll have to feel guilty for being overprotective practically all my life, whereas you’ve never done that before. Telling you to stop would be less hurtful than it would be to tell my parents.’

‘The longer you wait, the worse it’ll get,’ Alastair said. ‘They are right to be worried, you are in danger and we’re running out of time. But that doesn’t mean they can’t change how they treat you when you’re sick.’

‘You really think that’s what this is, isn’t it? I’m going to die.’

Alastair took hold of Thomas’ hand. ‘No, you’re not going to die. I won’t let you.’

Not even if it cost him his life, Alastair told himself, but he wouldn’t say that out loud. He didn’t want to worry Thomas.

‘What else can we do?’ Thomas asked. ‘Tatiana’s gone.’

Alastair frowned. ‘Gone?’

‘My dad went into the village and asked people about her. The staff from that hotel and restaurant said she’d left, so if the plan is to go after her… We have no clue where she is. On the bright side, phones are back in order, and we’re no longer trapped.’

‘It’s not entirely true that we can’t find her,’ Alastair said. ‘Lucie did find something today, before our encounter with the monster. A locket, and a note from Jesse. How he wrote it as a ghost, I have no idea.’

Alastair’s best guess was that Jesse had grown stronger as Thomas had gotten sick, and that he could now hold things. Closer to being alive than he had been before.

‘Anyway, Lucie can summon him with the locket. Assuming he’s been around Tatiana, but I can’t imagine where else he would be. He can lead us back to her.’

Alastair knew they needed a plan, and fast. He had promised Lucie he would help her work on Barbara’s memory. So far, no success. Alastair couldn’t see dead people, and his power didn’t work on dead people. Lucie was still convinced that in between her commanding ghosts and Alastair’s access to people’s memory there was a way to witness the realm of the thief of souls. If that didn’t work, they’d have to go after Tatiana. Stopping her would at the very least save Thomas for the time being, buy them enough time to find a way to permanently defeat the thief of souls.

Grace had said he’d been a mortal once. He was not a god or a devil, or something that was meant to exist. He’d been a mortal who’d claimed a world and started stealing souls, but he was not meant to be there. Which meant he could be defeated, and Alastair was convinced that with cortana and Lucie’s magic, their chances were better than most people’s. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean those were good chances.

‘Did you call anyone?’ Alastair asked. ‘I think I should call my mother.’

‘My sisters,’ Thomas said. ‘They were both very upset. Eugenia had just gotten off her flight back from India with her friend Kamala, they’ll come here as soon as they can. Barbara’s still in Paris with her boyfriend, but she says she’s getting on the next flight.’

‘I’d love to meet your sisters,’ Alastair said.

He was nervous too, people rarely liked him, why would Thomas’ sisters? Then again, Thomas liked him, Thomas’ parents seemed to like him, so maybe he had a better chance with Thomas’ sisters than with the average person.

‘Preferably not now though,’ Thomas said. ‘I urged them not to come here, but they wouldn’t listen. I told them it would be dangerous, but they both insisted on coming and told me I couldn’t stop them.’

‘It seems the stubbornness runs in the family,’ Alastair said.

‘Dad called uncle Gabriel,’ Thomas added. ‘Uncle Gabriel tried to convince Barbara to instead come to London and watch the children for him while he and Cecily come here to help. So far, I think Barbara is insistent on coming.’

Alastair could imagine why. Even if they were hopeful, even if they had a plan, there was a chance Thomas would die. He understood Thomas’ sisters wanted to be with him in case that happened, to at least be able to say goodbye.

It was time for dinner when Alastair and Thomas got out of the bath, dried off, and dressed themselves. Thomas felt less cold, which Alastair guessed was good, but still very tired and had very little appetite. Instead of joining them for dinner, he retreated to the couch again, only eating some soup and a piece of bread. At least it was something.

Alastair had to stop himself from taking care of him. Thomas didn’t want it, he just needed some rest. Thomas put on another movie, not yet tired enough to fall asleep, and Alastair retreated to his bedroom so he could call his mother.

‘Alastair, it’s been so long since I heard from you!’ his mother scolded as she picked up.

She spoke in Farsi, and it was somehow comfortable to speak to her in her language.

‘I’m sorry, maman. A lot has been happening, and we couldn’t reach anyone outside.’

‘I think you and your sister should come home, you’re not safe there,’ his mother said.

Alastair sighed. ‘We can’t. Leaving won’t make the problems go away. Thomas needs me, and Lucie is in danger as well. Without Cordelia and her sword, neither of them stand a chance.’

‘I understand, azizam. I just wish I could know you were safe.’

‘I can’t make a any promises. But I’ll protect Cordelia. We’ll be home before you know it. Jem told us about the baby.’

‘You’re not mad, I hope?’ his mother asked.

‘No, of course not,’ Alastair said. ‘I can’t wait to meet my baby brother or sister, same for Cordelia. It is not what either of us expected, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.’

‘I haven’t seen your father,’ his mother promised. ‘I must have gotten pregnant before we left, it was an accident, but one that I am happy about. I’ll be raising the baby by myself. Risa has promised to help, of course.’

‘I’ll be there too,’ Alastair promised. ‘The baby will have everything they need.’

‘I hope you are not angry with me,’ his mother said quietly.

‘Why would I be?’

‘Because I didn’t protect you,’ his mother said. ‘I thought you could handle it, you could protect Cordelia and we would be fine. But I was wrong, protecting you was my responsibility and I failed you.’

‘It’s not your fault,’ Alastair said and he meant it.

It wasn’t the first time his mother or someone else had pointed out she should have been there for him, should have protected him, but he couldn’t bring himself to blame her for it. She’d been a victim too, he’d told her, he’d told his therapist. Maybe she could have done better, she could have seen he was struggling sooner, but she hadn’t wanted to see. Father had told her Alastair’s odd behavior was normal, that teen boys went through times like that, and he’d believed her.

‘Still, I am sorry. I know you do not blame me, but that does not mean I don’t regret what I did. How has it been with the Herondales? I’d thought you would be happier there, but I never imagined all this would happen to you.’

‘It has been nice here,’ Alastair said. ‘But yes, also dangerous. Nothing to be done about that. I’m not sure if you’ve gotten any of my text, but I’ve been spending a lot of time with Thomas, and he’s my boyfriend now.’

‘Oh, that’s nice. I’m happy for you, joon-am.’

‘Me too. I’m just scared something’s going to happen to him. He’s gotten sick and I think he’s going to get worse. It’s not looking good.’

‘I know I never wanted you and Cordelia to run towards danger like Elias did. But if it saves the boy you love… I have faith in you, Alastair.’

After ending the phone call, Alastair returned downstairs to find Thomas had finished the movie and was turning off the tv. As Thomas closed his eyes and presumably fell asleep again, Alastair sought out Lucie.

‘I think we should give it another try,’ Alastair said. ‘With Barbara’s memory.’

‘You’re right. She’s at the Lightwood cottage, she doesn’t like big crowds and prefers to stay there. I’ll ask aunt Sophie.’

Lucie returned to the kitchen, where Thomas’ parents were doing the dishes, and Alastair returned to Thomas, who had his eyes opened once more.

‘I’m going with Lucie to see if we’re getting anywhere with Barbara,’ Alastair said. ‘If your parents are bothering you, you tell them, alright?’

‘I’m considering it. Kiss me before you go?’

Alastair obliged, leaning down to kiss Thomas on the mouth before leaving him to get some more rest.

‘Rest well, delbaram,’ Alastair said.

Alastair returned to Lucie and Sophie, who were on their way back to the Lightwood cottage.

‘I can’t stay here,’ Sophie said. ‘I cannot leave Thomas alone for too long when he’s so sick.’

Alastair wondered if he should say anything. He didn’t want to speak for Thomas, but it seemed clear that Sophie had no idea how Thomas really felt about his parents concern.

‘Thomas has gone back to sleep,’ Alastair said. ‘He said he wanted to rest, best to leave him until he wakes.’

Telling her not to worry felt wrong, so he didn’t. Thomas could die, of course she was worried. Alastair was too. He wasn’t sure what he’d have to do, to keep Thomas alive. He’d read a little about the ritual, and together with that memory of Gideon who’d once interrupted his father, Alastair knew how to summon the thief. Perhaps that was how he could be defeated, by bringing him here and then attacking him. Although if it was that simple, Alastair wondered why no one else had tried it.

‘Alright. Please tell me you have a plan,’ Sophie said.

‘We’re going to try to get information from Barbara,’ Alastair said. ‘Based on that, we figure out how to take on the thief of souls. If we need more time, Lucie will summon Jesse and find out where Tatiana is, confront her there and stop her. If she does not fulfill her end of the bargain, Jesse will not live and therefore Thomas will not die.’

Alastair was mostly certain of that. Mostly. There was a chance that Jesse was far enough gone that when Tatiana stopped, the thief of souls could once again choose which of Benedict’s grandsons he wanted, and let the other go. If that was the case, Alastair wasn’t so sure he wouldn’t choose Thomas.

‘And we want to find out how to defeat the thief of souls,’ Lucie added. ‘He is mad with me because I stole Barbara from him, so he’s going to come after me either way. Perhaps he even realized who my mother is. Not to mention I don’t want Jesse to go back to being trapped there.’

The three of them arrived at the Lightwood’s cottage. Even if with a ghost living in there, Alastair felt the little cottage with its adorable garden was welcoming. A nice place to spend the summer.

‘Show yourself,’ Lucie commanded, and Barbara appeared, sitting on the couch.

‘How have you been?’ Lucie asked.

‘I’m alright, thank you. The other ghost at your house can be a bit much, so I am happy to stay here for now.’

Alastair hoped Barbara meant Jessamine, and not another ghost he didn’t know about. As much as he was used to the supernatural, ghosts made him a bit uncomfortable, mostly because he couldn’t see them and he could never be sure he wasn’t being watched. At least Jessamine was far more prudish than he was and Alastair trusted her to turn around and go somewhere else when he was in the bathroom or changing or kissing Thomas.

‘We want to try once more to enter your memory,’ Lucie explained. ‘Are you up for it?’

‘Of course. Not much else here for me, I’m afraid,’ Barbara said. ‘I wish I could be of more help. It’s like it’s on the tip of my tongue, like a dream that slips away when you wake up and I just can’t remember.’

Alastair could imagine that was frustrating. It was hard for him to picture, not being able to remember something. Dreams could be trickier, and sometimes he lost them, but Alastair did not care much for dreams and would much rather not dream at all. Memories, however, could never be lost, he could never forget. At most he could get frustrated if he couldn’t find the right memory for certain information.

‘Can you command ghosts to be alive, Lucie?’ Alastair asked.

Lucie frowned. ‘I can’t bring people back from the dead.’

‘No, but perhaps temporarily. You can make ghosts visible, you can make them corporeal enough to touch things. All of those bring them closer to what qualifies as alive. Perhaps if you command them to be alive, they will be able to do all these things at once, even if for only a moment. And then I’d be able to access her memory.’

‘Alright. I’ll give it a try. Barbara, I command you to live.’

Alastair couldn’t see anything change, but when he tried to enter Barbara’s memory, he found it was there. She did put up a bit of resistance.

‘It’s alright,’ he said. ‘It’s just me, you can let me in.’

Barbara relaxed, and Alastair tried to search for the right memory. Usually, people tried to recall the memory, they controlled what memory was shown, not he. But Barbara couldn’t recall what she didn’t remember. He’d found ways around that, ways to bring back lost memories. When he was younger he’d tried to restore his father’s memory of a night he’d been too drunk to remember, thinking it would help. Alastair had long given up that practice though, it didn’t make a difference. He’d believed once that if his father remembered what he did while he was drunk, he would stop. He would realize how much hurt he was causing and stop drinking. But it didn’t make a difference, and his father had mostly found it inconvenient. It was easier for him to forget.

With Tessa, he’d used a different, harder strategy of searching through association, starting with what he knew ought to be there. Jessamine, the house. Tessa still didn’t remember everything, but she was getting there.

With Barbara, he took a different approach. The trick in this case was to start at the last thing someone remembered and then speed things along a little. Alastair knew the last thing Barbara remembered, which was her fight with her husband and then her death. He tried to brace himself as he asked Barbara to remember that, hoping he wouldn’t get lost in his own memory.

They managed to start the memory after Benedict stalked off into his own study and Barbara rushed to get the children. He could tell she was confused, but took the opportunity just the same, rushing through the mansion. In the distance, he could hear a baby cry. Alastair assumed that was Tatiana. Then Barbara collapsed to the ground and Alastair felt something awfully painful in his back. Blood. The spinal cord, severed. Was it Benedict, behind her, who had stabbed her? Barbara didn’t turn around, didn’t see her attacker, but it had to be. She hadn’t dropped dead when Benedict had made the deal. She’d been murdered. Because the thief might prefer spouses, but those weren’t connected by blood, so he couldn’t kill them himself.

Alastair wondered how Benedict had gotten away with murdering his wife, a knife in her back while she was at home was hard to explain away. But then he guessed it was easy for the thief of souls to make her body disappear, or use some magic to change it to resemble a suicide. He didn’t know, had not asked Gideon what he’d once believed happened to his mother. He thought that would be too painful.

She was in pain for only a little while, and then the Lightwood’s manor disappeared. She was in a forest not unlike the one around here. It was dark and cold and gloomy. Alastair could feel the chill touch his skin. Barbara looked around, taking in the environment with great care. There were others like her. People, but there was something unusual about their eyes. Alastair couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something was not right. Those had to be the other souls. There were many of them, spread out across where Barbara could see.

‘Follow me.’

There was a woman. She looked like the others, human, but something was not right. She appeared a little more alive though, a little less broken. She seemed to be somewhat in charge here.

‘Who are you? Where am I?’ Barbara asked.

‘Follow me,’ the woman repeated.

Reluctantly Barbara followed. Alastair sped up the next part, as the walk was rather long. The woods seemed endless, which made Alastair wonder where this was exactly. In the land in between, some buildings still existed, but here there seemed to be none at all. There were souls all over though, what was their purpose? Some were doing something, carrying things Alastair couldn’t identify, working for the thief? Others wandered around aimlessly. Alastair did the best he could to take in any landmarks she passed. He never knew if he would have to navigate this realm.

At last they reached a castle. The castle the others had been dreaming about. Alastair was the only one who hadn’t dreamt and he was glad for it. Although perhaps compared to his usual dreams, nightmares about a spooky castle were an improvement.

Barbara entered the castle. Based on the gothic building style, the many sharp shapes, Alastair guessed it must have been built somewhere in late medieval time. It certainly wasn’t the style he would choose if he could live in a castle, too bleak for his taste. He’d prefer a bit more welcoming style, big windows, light and bright colors. A big private bathhouse. Old Persian style, or perhaps Roman or ancient Greek. Instead, the inside of the castle looked dreary and a bit messy. Had it been rebuilt over time, or was this an indication of how old the thief of souls was?

The woman led Barbara into the throne room. On the throne was a man with dark hair and a skin the color of paper. His eyes were red and glowing, and his head was decorated with big antlers. He’d been mortal once, so where had the antlers come from? Alastair could only say he was right that deer were scary.

‘I take it you had to walk here,’ he said.

His voice was surprisingly human, although loud and authoritative. Barbara didn’t say anything.

‘Yes, my lord, she appeared in the forest approximately seventy miles south of here,’ said the woman who had accompanied Barbara.

Seventy miles… Had Barbara really just walked that far? Alastair suspected distance was different in the land of the thief.

The red eyes glowed a little brighter. ‘Did I ask?’

‘Forgive me, my lord,’ the woman said.

She had to be one of his souls, but somehow she’d gotten a higher position in serving him. Were there more souls like this?

‘Your name is Barbara Lightwood, isn’t it?’

Barbara looked up, shaking on her feet. ‘Yes, that is correct.’

‘Barbara, Barbara… given to me by your husband. Betrayal after marriage has its use for me, but it is surprisingly common, I’m afraid. All sorts of marriages go sour and so often people have grown to hate their spouse so much they’re willing to sacrifice the soul. Still, it is an interesting sort of betrayal, a broken vow. Did you see it coming, Barbara? Were you afraid of your husband?’

Barbara was silent.

‘You are new here, and so I will be forgiving. But it does not do to ignore my questions,’ the thief of souls said, angry but calm and in control. ‘When I ask you a question, you will give me an honest answer. Do I make myself clear?’

‘Yes… Yes, sir.’

A small smile appeared on the thief’s face. ‘Alright then, Barbara. Amuse me. Did you see it coming?’

‘I… Yes. And no. I knew he was dangerous, I knew he might hurt me or the children. But I did not think any of this existed, or that he would choose me as a sacrifice.’

‘Intriguing,’ the thief said. ‘It has been such a long time since I was one of your kind. Your love, hate, betrayal. It is absolutely fascinating. What drives a husband to betray his wife to me? How much power do I need to offer, for them to stab someone they claimed to love in the back. Can any soul be corrupted? And what was the reason your husband first was unwilling to make a deal, but now summoned me and told me it was done and you could be mine?’

Alastair could not feel what someone else was feeling in their memories, not entirely. He got a glimpse of it, but little more. He could tell Barbara was horrified though, betrayed. And for the thief, it was a source of entertainment besides power. He seemed intrigued by the horrors humans were capable of, and loved to bring out the worst in them.

‘I was leaving,’ Barbara said slowly. ‘I knew my children and I weren’t safe there. He found out I was leaving, and got angry.’

The thief of souls laughed, his face bright. ‘Of course, that’s so often the cause. People are far more likely to sacrifice someone who is leaving them. Perhaps if you’d been a good wife and stayed, he would have let you live.’

Alastair tried to push down his anger, his sense of helplessness. This whole conversation was difficult to listen to, the way the thief was fascinated by the way people used and abused others and liked to leverage such situations to his advantage. The way he blamed Barbara for what her husband had done. He felt sick, and had no choice but to push away and leave. Both he and Barbara were on the couch, shaking. Sophie was sitting opposite to them, whereas Lucie looked like she was about to fall asleep.

‘Did you find what you needed?’ Lucie asked, suppressing a yawn.

‘More or less,’ Alastair said. ‘I got to see his realm. It is a huge dark forest and the souls are everywhere. Some have jobs, or I don’t know, serve him somehow. Many just wander around. And he was human once. Apparently, it’s not so uncommon for people who deal with him to sacrifice their spouse. Even if because of the whole blood connection thing, people have to kill their spouses themselves.’

Alastair didn’t want to think about the kind of people that did. No one in a good and healthy relationship woke up one day and sacrificed their partner for power. The thief said he wondered if anyone could be corrupted but Alastair didn’t think so. He imagined many had been abused before. It made him wonder, if he’d stayed with Charles, if Charles had known about all this, would he have been willing to sacrifice Alastair to get the power he wanted?

‘That sounds rather awful,’ Sophie said.

‘Not very romantic,’ Lucie added.

‘Marriage isn’t always,’ Alastair said. ‘Nor are relationships. Sometimes it’s less about love and more about power.’

‘Benedict was all about power,’ Barbara said. ‘At first, I thought he was good underneath that cold exterior. He could be so charming, but they so often are, aren’t they?’

‘They are,’ Alastair said, thinking of Charles.

‘I thought that my love could temper his moods,’ Barbara continued. ‘It was just like a romance novel, you know? Average woman meets cold but charming and wealthy man and her love changes him. I always loved those.’

‘I like love stories too,’ Lucie said. ‘But real life is not always like the stories. Sometimes someone is not who you think they are.’

‘Stupid, isn’t it? I should have known. I should have seen through his charm and his stupid lies.’

Alastair twisted his fingers, pained. He told himself that so often. He should have known Charles could not be trusted, should have known he only cared about himself. He should have known Charles was taking advantage of him. It had all been so obvious to Cordelia when he’d told her, so why hadn’t he known better?

‘It’s not your fault,’ he said instead, because he was still doing the best he could to convince himself of that. Funny how it was so much easier to believe it when it was someone else. ‘It’s his, and his alone.’

‘Being naïve or looking past warning signs doesn’t change that,’ Sophie added. ‘You deserved better. Your children did too. I hope you can find peace.’

Barbara smiled at Sophie through her tears. ‘I’m so happy my son found someone like you.’

#Alastair Carstairs #Thomas Lightwood #Lucie Herondale #Cordelia Carstairs #Thomastair #Lucelia #fanfiction #the last hours #tlh

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Prince of Wishful Thinking (Tom Retrospective): Tough Love or The True Monster

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to Prince of Wishful Thinking, what is usually my look at the life and times of Tom Lucitor but since I NEED to cover the season 3 finale as vital part of Tom’s story, we’re taking one last look at the tragic tale of Meteora Butterfly before the finale sends these two stories hurtling together. You’d THINK this would be the last detour of this already sizeable arc.. and you’d be wrong as i’ll also be covering Kelly’s World, as I feel it’s vital for both “Curse of the Blood Moon” and “A Boy and his hard to remember title”, as it provides extra context for Marco’s anguish in the former.. and provides extra evidence for why a CERTAIN MOMENT in the latter pisses me off to no end.. seriously even when as universe dies and the only people left are Frankllin Richards and Galactus, there will still be a little note reading “Fuck how they treated Kelly” written in all caps so Galactus remembers to yell it.

So sadly that DOES mean it’s been three entries in this retrospective in a row that either haven’t feature Tom at all or in the case of the last episode only had him in short cameos. I mean we did get his love affair for pie but we also got a creepy goblin man forcing his girlfriend and best friend to kiss each other, his best friend being WAY to eager to jump to that conclusion, and neither considering using Marco’s Scissors because the writers only remember he has those half the time in Season 3... and clearly I ddn’t either as I forgot to mention that plot hole, something @jess-the-vampire brought up to me. Sadly I DID forget to consult on this when we talked earlier this week , and she’s not online as I write this so I won’t have her insight for this one.

But if you want some Tom content, i’m happy to share my crossover ship for the boy with you. I’ve been shipping him with Octavia from Helluva Boss lately. Because of course it’s Helluva Boss, i’ve not been at all subtle with my obession with it and much like Letterkenny, X-Men and Dragon Ball Z Abriged it is a love I never plan to be subtle about.

But I just think they compliment each other well: They have contrasting atittudes, and tastes in music, but seem like they’d share hobbies. Like taxidermy.. I could see Tom buying this... demonic combination of a badger, a skunk, a deer and my nightmares Octavia is preciously holding up.

Granted I also feel tom would both animate them with their dead souls.. and then use his new woodland friends of the dammned as a chorus to sing “Can You Picture That” from the Muppet Movie, because that’s what my mind does on a regular day. I think the contrasting attitude creates great chemstiry and it made me also realize I have a thing for ships with directly contrasting home lives. Tom has two loving decent parents who deeply love one another and at worst simply didn’t reign in his worse behavior because it was standard for demon stuff. Octavia in contrast simply has two parents, one who DOES love her and tries his best, but his best includes calling his side piece “My big dicked blitzy” right in front of her and hiring said side piece to guard them, and her mother who clearly thinks so little of her daughter’s emotional well being she hired a cowboy to shoot her daddy dead in the middle of a large crowd. The point is I think they’d be adorable and they both badly need to be happy after being emotionally fucked over by people they care about.

But alas my new ship will have to wait as we marginally important things to get down too.. things that will impact both this season and the next’s endgame and utterly destroy Eclipsa and Moon’s relationship for good. Sound fun? Well if so join me under the cut won’t you?

We open in the Pidgeon Kingdom.. and things aren’t exactly great.. and by that I mean Meteora stomped a hole through it and ravaged the place and Rich demands blood.. and vengance.. and possibly blood vengance. But not Tekken Blood Vengance.. he already has like 5 copies of that on dvd. Still needs it on Blu Ray though, hook him up if you got it.

So Moon and Eclipsa are trying to smooth this over/find out which way did she go George which way did she go, and are angrily dismissed after they try Rich’s patience, not helped by Eclipsa not being familiar with the Pidgeon Kingdom because they hadn’t slaughtered everyone who used to live there yet. Look that’s what happened, Star outright mentions in the Big Book of Spells that htey suddenly sprung up where another kingdom was and no one knows what happens. There was some bird murders up in that place.. or birdur if you will. Some birds drank some human blood. This is what Alfred Hitchock tried to warn us about with his film built on horrifying actress abuse.

The point is with some more pidgeon-led murder stabbings on the cards our heroines are trying to find her since their attempts to convince Rich not to go on an Archer Style Rampage fell on deaf ears.

But it’s clear from the second the two are alone both have diffrent priorties: Eclipsa desperatley wants to find the daughter she lost and talk her down from what sh’es become, help her become better and hopefuly heal from the pain she’s been in. She’s lost her husband, her kingdom and centuries. She can’t loose her baby girl too.

Moon on the other hand... clearly has no intrest in helping Meteora or stopping this peacefully. Her first thought is stopping Meteora. Her living through it is not necessary. It’s also clear her racisim isn’t REMOTELY gone depsite Buff Frog and Star’s best attempts and despite learning just how deeply and horribly Mewni’s engrained racism has hurt eclipsa and destoryed Moon’s own family history. To Moon this is just a big monster to fight.. i’ll dive into this more in a bit.

For now our heroines encounter an angry mob. This time their not here for Homer Simpson, but for Meteora as her rampages have destroyd their towns, livelehoods and given some weird guy a hat. It’s the best bit of the episode and i’m embarassed I forgot it happened.

So with them being no help our queens back out but end up finding some actual help: Eddie! You know the guy from the episode I skipped over... River’s cousin or something like that. He dosen’t have a wiki entry, I do not know why. He’s voiced by Rhys Dharby of Flight of the Conchords Fame whose since made quite the career as a voice actor. No major roles yet that i’m aware of, but a lot of delightful minor ones like this. It’s good to see him he was one of the highlights of that show and not just because he sang this..

youtube

Eddie showed up in the Bog Beast of Boggabah and I honestly forgot he was in this episode.. but again, it’s Rhys Dharby. It’s not like suddenly finding out “Aw god dammit Pauly Shore is in this”. So Eddie agrees to help as he’s been tracknig Meteora.. and we find out something troubling: Meteora is getting BIGGER. Gradually, to the point the bog from said episode Is skipped over is drained because she DRANK IT. We also get a great exchange “I’d hate to see the size of her mother” “Actually her father more than helped with that”

Awwwww.... seriously Esme Blanco is a national treasure and has some great deliveries in this one.. and some heartbreaking ones. But before we can get to that it turns out Meteora sucked the powers out of Eddies family.. who he misses..e xcept one guy> That guy can fuck right off. Seriously Eddie is also a national treasure and I wish he’d shown up in season 4. I mean he couldn’t of HURT it. For one it’s Rhys Dharby and for another that season shot itself in the face, both feet, the groin and then the face again enough that I don’t think anything could hurt it as bad as the writers already did.

But sadly we say farwell to Eddie as he goes out how men have since the begining of time.. deciding to poke a strange creature till it murdered him. Or took his soul out in this case, speaking of which...

Yeah while I couldn’t get Jess in time for this review, she did bring this up in the past: Meteora’s ablility to pull a

Comes right the fuck out of nowhere with no build up and no explination for it. She DID drain personalites and according to this episode youth.. but that was with a big ole machine. It MIGHT have been intended to be one of Globgor’s powers.. but that makes zero sense, as if he COULD do that, as we saw with Toffee last season when he had that power, also out of nowhere but at least it made a touch more sense given his power was draining magical energy anyway at the time, so adding souls to that isn’t a huge stretch, but as we saw that would’ve been game over for the comission, especially since we DO see him fighting them one on three next season. If he had this power, he wouldn’t be in crystal and I think they realized that, but just tried to act as if his daugther COULDN’T do that and assumed everyone would casually forget. And I get not accounting for me writing about this years later, even I wouldn’t of thought that, but not counting on fans both young and old to latch onto a continuity error? Have you met fandoms Disney, have you? It dosen’t bring the story down entirely and I get WHY ti’s there, so she can nonlethally kill people so we’re not down most of the cast for Season 4, but it feels like an easy win button and one she barely uses despite it being eye beam activated. It should be easy enough to pull, boom, soul suck, win, rinse and repeat. It’s okay to have uber powerful tequniques but they have to have a drawback. For instance the Kaioken from DBZ. It’s a really damn cool technique that gives the user a neat red aura and amplifies poewr.. but the more you amplify the more strain it puts on your body and the more likely you’ll die, and Super later creatively explained why it hadn’t been used since Super Sayian was introduced because said form would’ve sped it up so much it’d be too much for a body to take. Here whie Meteora dosen’t use it in EVERY fight, she uses it enough that it makes no sense this isn’t just her first move for every fight she gets into, mental breakdown or not.

That being said Meteora’s current mental state as she talks to her mother, having regressed to talking in only a few words and acting like a child, makes perfect sense. Henious already wasn’t in great mental shape to begin with, having a slow sustained breakdown since Marco overthrew her. and now on top of this she remembers her whole life has been a lie, starts to mutate into her natural state at a rapid and likely unehalthy pace, and then finds out on top of all of this Mewni is rightfully owed to her. Given she ended last episode blowing a guy up for rejecting her, it’s not a stretch that given even more power and no time to process anything, Metora would deteroate further.

Esme and Jessica really knock this scene out of the park as Eclipsa presents Metora with her old doll Bobo and gently trying ot talk to her.. but you also get the fear Eclipsa feels as she tries to awkardly manuver around the fact her daughter is far more unhinged than she was prepared for, even threanting Eclipsa simply because Eclipsa wanted to be called mother instead of mommy. But despite this fear.. Eclipsa wants to help and Walter beautifuly captured metoera as a hulk like tragic figure:a being with low sanity and too much power desperate to be loved by the one person it cares about. And it makes it even more heartbreaking as Eclipsa explains what happened: bad people trapped her , a disfunctoinal society with a racist queen and even more racist subjects has taken hold in her absence... and it’s clear both want opposite things: Meteora wants what sh’es owed, her family back on the throne and Mewni back in her graps, but has lost herself so much to rage, anger and insanity she can’t see it’s not hers to take, while Eclipsa.. just wants her daughter back. She’d be happy just settling down with her and having a LIFE after hers was taken away. Eclipsa just wants a chance to be with what family she has left. It just HURTS to know that despite RIGHTFULLY hating the comission, despite having eveyr reason to take the crown from Moon by force and make the world better by force.. she dosen’t want that. She just wants some peace. It’s selfish... but it’s hard not to be when you havealmost nothing to hold onto. Eclipsa has lost her legacy, her husband and her crown... Meteora is all she has and all she wants and sh’ed of been happy if she just accepted that. If that was enough.

But the real telling part, and the thing that ultimately makes this go as bad as it does.. is Moon’s reactions to all of this. Sh’es CONFUSED by Meteora having a toy as if that’s foreign to her a monster would, and she’s cleaerly livid , if restrianing it, at both Meteora’s deire for the crown and Eclipsa RIGHTFULLY calling out the state of how things are, and mildly at that. Despite seeing how much damage Mewni’s inherent racisim has done, how it lead to her living a lie, ruined Eclipss, Globgore and Metora’s lives, despite how DESPERTLY her daughter struggles to fight against it, despite seeing firsthand that Monsters can have famiies and lives... she can’t let it go. She can’t see monsters as people. SHe dosen’t see a flawed person who was turned into a metpohrical monster by years of brainwashing and abuse and is slowly unravling under the weight of her true self.. she just sees a threat to her kingdom. She dosen’t see her kingdom as racist, just as it should be. And she dosen’t see herself as stepping down like hse damn well should’ve the MOMENT she found out everything. Because at her heart Moon can’t accept the truth and clings to her racisim.

And that my friends.. is what ultimately leads to Tragedy. Not Meteora’s unraveling mental state, not Eclipsa’s naitvite. What happens next is ENITRELY Moon’s fault. Whle Eclipsa was failing to get through to Metora, she was trying her best and might of gotten somewhere.. but Moon was already settling to attack.. and does so, making it look like Eclipsa set her own child up.

A fight ensues, a suprisingly even one... but Eclipsa breaks it up and PROVES her way could’ve worked. In one of Esme’s best performances sshe tearfully tells her daughter she loves her.. that ALL she wants is time with her to make up for what she’s lost.. she dosen’t need a kingdom or her crown or her wand, all things she DESERVES... she just wants her daughter. She just wants to help her baby girl before she goes so far down this path of hatred and vengance she’s alreayd well trod upon there is no point to return to.

It gets through to Meteora, makes her stop... and Moon TAKES ADANTAGE OF THAT. She then restrains metoera with a magical rock barrier and starts palpatineing her to death. It’s a horrifying moment that ultimately shows who Moon really is.. that when given the chance to let Meteora go, let her CHANGE and grow as a person and help the kingdom.. she instead tries to kill her. When she’s no longer a threat, hasn’t seriously hurt her in their fight, and could use her power to RESTORE the damage she’s done, fix what she’s broken and help the kingdom grow and mend the bridges racisim has torn down. But all she can see is a monster, and something to destroy.. not someONE to save.

So Eclipsa does what Moon would do if it were star about to die and saves her daughter, desperatly trying to stop mooon.. and allowing Meteora to get a clear shot and take half of moon’s soul. While Eclipsa is able to stop her from taking the full thing, Moon is left disoreinted and half alive and leaves on insticnt to parts unknown while Meteora escapes. Eclipsa is left alone, devistated and with her daughter truly lost. And the worst is truly yet to come.

Before we get into final thoughts i’d like to talk about how this scene impacts Moon’s betryal later. To me having rewatched this scene.. it only makes it work MORE making it clear Moon simply can’t fahtom racial equality and that she can’t fahtom that eclipsa had very good reason for doing what she did ... to me it comes off as her using Eclipsa betryaing her as a very flimsy justifcation to not validate her rule and to first retire and then try a coup. That “Well she “BETRAYED” me so i’m fine. “ But in truth... she betrayed Eclipsa first. She attacked her daughter TWICE when Eclipsa was close to getting through to her Her reasons are flimsy.. because i’ts not ABOUT eclipsa, but what eclipsa represents: equality with a race Moon dosen’t see as people. It’s about Moon’s racisim coloring everything tills h’es truly blinded and should have lost everything She didn’t because the ending is a fucking disgrace, but we might get to that at some point, the point here is for all that disgrace’s faults... it did get it right here, and Moon was always portrayed as being unable to let go of her racisim no matter what it cost her or how much her daughter despteratly tried to change her. Trust me as someone whose Dad used to argue that gay marriage meant he should be able to marry his cat, and who still argues against trans people using the bathroom of their choice, I get trying desperatley to change someone who don’t wanna. “Sigh”.

Final Thoughts: This episode is truly excellent. The writing is top notch as is the voice acting for all involved and the climax isa true, well led up to tragedy. The animation is also on point, with the characters emotions on perfect display. This is an episode I now realize is one of the series best and worth ar ewatch if you haven’ts een it. Truly amazing stuff that gets me pumped for the finale.. and disapoints me in how the series could reach these highs for one finale.. but would sink to it’s lowest point for next seasons. Next Time on Prince of Wishful Thinking: Star tries depseratly to find her mom, while Marco, Tom and a motely crew of misfits try to take down Meteora and Tom learns the awful truth from the photo booth and wears a zuko ponytail which weirdly looks good on him. That boy can rock anything let me tell you.

If you enjoyed this reviews, please consider joining my patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet. As mentioned my 30 dollar stretch goal includes a review of the cluster fuck that is the series final arc, and the goals up to that , me making 20 and 25 dollars a month repectively, have their own nifty rewards: At 20 i’ll review Darkwing Duck once a month, the two remaning Ducktales 87 mini series I have not covered and the Danny Phantom film The Ultimate Enemy. 25 meanwhile gets you reviews of the Proud Family Movie, the theatrical recess movie and the Kim Possible almost finale movie so the drama. And 30 also gets you reviews of every episode of gravity falls season 1 at least one a month till I finish it at some point, so as you can see you get a lot of bang for your buck and these reviews will be public for everybody. Not only that but joining my patreon gets you a review a month if you pitch in 5 dollars and evne if you can’t swing THAT much just 2 bucks gets you access to my discord, a guarnateed pick in my shorts, votes for patreon exclusive reviews, and SAID patreon exclusive reviews. It’s a lot of bang for your buck is what i’m saying so please help me out so I can make a living off this and sign up today. I even JUST ADDED an exclusive and utterly insane scrooge mcduck review, The Great Wig Mystery. So throw in a buck to check that out.

And if your intrested in Tomtavia... please hit me up. I’m really proud of it and until then... i’ll see you at the next rainbow.

#star vs the forces of evil #tom lucitor #prince of wishful thinking #meteora butterfly #eclipsa butterfly #moon butterfly #rhys dharby #disney xd #disney channel #disney plus #reviews

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nitw · 4 years

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book 3′s theme of growing up vs escapism, and what that says about grace and simon’s fates

infinity train book 3 is as much about empathy and morality as it is about maturity. grace and simon deal with the same obstacles in very different ways, and with the last 2 episodes coming out soon, i wanna make an analysis of what we’ve seen so far, and how that might correlate to the ending of each of their arcs. this is gonna be a LOOOOONG post.

the way the first episode opens up blows my mind every time i watch it. implementing the “when i look at you, i see me” song jesse mentioned in book 2, which is all about accepting each other’s differences, in contrast to the chaos of the apex onscreen? amazing. keep in mind that this was a kids’ song that jesse was taught in school, which makes it even better/worse considering the apex is full of small children.

this is where we get our first proper looks at grace and simon this season. let’s talk about grace first:

grace herself was probably the one who turned the fitting room into her personal throne. she dances around cheerfully as she gears up for her mission. it’s already obvious at this point that grace has quite the superiority complex, but to quote the cat much later on; “she’s very full of herself”.

we get a deeper insight on this in episode 3, when she talks to hazel about her loneliness due to difficulty making friends as a kid.

grace tends to pin the blame on others for her problems to ignore how insecure she really feels, which is likely one of the reasons she ended up on the train, and leading the apex sure didn’t help.

she’s also shown to be very manipulative. she’s a smooth talker who knows how to twist her words to make her seem more trustworthy, and can be very controlling of others to get what she wants. as the leader of the apex, she’s learned how to talk to kids, especially.

now let’s get to simon. THESE are the first shots we see of him:

in contrast to grace sitting proudly in her throne room under spotlights, simon spends his time alone in a small, poorly lit toy store which he’s revamped into a workshop for his miniature figures.

this whole opening sequence shows us, in a short amount of time and without dialogue, how different grace and simon really are. initially, grace feels on top of the world and wants everyone else to view her like that too. while simon isolates himself from the apex to focus on his own little hobbies when he’s not going on missions. he doesn’t feel the need to flaunt himself, because he doesn’t have the highest number and he’s not the leader, that’s grace. their individual surroundings paint a good picture of how they feel about themselves.

so what is there to say about simon? for starters, he’s very hot-headed and loses his temper easily when things don’t go his way...

... he has major trust/abandonment issues...

... and he collects miniatures.

why is that last part important? because from the very first shot of him and then several times throughout the season, simon is painted as the more immature and childlike of the duo.

let’s get a few things straight:

grace and simon are both 18 years old, the oldest members of the apex. 18 is usually considered the confusing midpoint of adolescence, not REALLY a kid anymore but not REALLY an adult just yet. but according to themselves, they don’t feel like adults (”never trust an adult passenger”).

they both arrived on the train when they were around 10, aka they’ve been stuck here for roughly 8 years.

IN those years, they’ve been totally misguided and didn’t know the true purpose of the train, which led them to their “this is our personal playground, and if you don’t play along, you’re weak” mentality. this is why they don’t trust denizens/nulls, they don’t see them as anything other than toys.

what i’ve talked about so far is pretty much how we’re introduced to the two: one has a superiority complex, the other has an inferiority complex, but they’re both equally willing players in the apex’s childish game of chaos and destruction.

... and then hazel and tuba happens.

this is in the second episode. what’s the first thing grace does when she initially meets the two? she acknowledges hazel’s bond with tuba and greets them both, despite her dislike towards nulls. she knows she’s good with kids and uses this to her advantage, because she doesn’t want to lose a potential addition to the apex, but the point is that she treats tuba with respect out of consideration for hazel.

meanwhile, in comparison, simon wants absolutely nothing to do with tuba. he doesn’t speak to her once in this scene and only comments on it to grace. the only thing holding him back from fighting tuba is his fear of losing.

this conflict goes on between them for several episodes. grace wants to get rid of tuba as much as simon, but she wants to take the most harmless approach possible for the sake of hazel’s feelings, while simon couldn’t care less about anyone’s feelings but his own:

but as grace naturally begins to question everything she thought she knew, and grows fond of both hazel AND tuba...

... simon becomes more frustrated and impatient, and lets his blind rage overpower him.

and simon knows this.

aside from fear of abandonment, there’s nothing he fears and hates more than being underestimated.

being looked down upon.

being ignored.

being treated like a child.

every season of infinity train is about change, personal development and self-reflection. book 3 is the season of coming to terms with adulthood and maturity, and this goes for both grace AND simon. they’re just on opposite ends of the scale.

grace’s number is high. it’ll take a long time before she manages to leave the train. but she’s made an active decision to be the bigger person, to open up to and trust even what she doesn’t fully understand. and now she’s finally headed in the right direction.

simon isn’t stuck on square 1. he’s falling further and further behind, because he’s too stubborn to grow up and accept the reality of his circumstances.

this show doesn’t really have any heroes, because the goal of our protagonists is to save themselves. but simon is too self-destructive AND destructive towards others, and the path he’s taken is leading him to the closest thing we have to a villain...

... and the events of the most recent episode may have been the last straw.

#leo.txt #long post #grace monroe #simon laurent #inftrain #infinity train #infinity train spoilers

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mikkomacko · 4 years

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In The Shadows 6

Niall's car still has that new cherry smell, and the leather seats look fresh, but the floor and cup holders are riddled with articles of clothing, textbooks, a soccer ball, and trash. Most of the clothes are piled up on the left seat, squishing y/n into the middle because her legs aren't as long as Harry's. Zoe's going over the end of the game's events, but Harry's not listening nor is y/n. She's too focused on how pretty Harry looks when he's groggy, puffy eyes and lips pouting like a toddler despite not having anything to pout about. By the way he's pressed against her, lips practically attached to her neck, she's surprised he's not smirking devilishly.

Her fingers soothingly rub his scalp and he practically purrs at the feeling, pressing his nose deeper into her neck. She giggles, snuggling him closer and laying her cheek on top of his head.

"I know he didn't get hit in the head but are you sure he's not concussed?"

Harry grumbles, breath hot on her skin. "Fuck off! M'just tired."

Niall and Zoe giggle, y/n ignoring the smug way her friend is watching in the rear view mirror as she strokes her fingers through Harry’s hair at the nape of his neck. He falls still, most likely on the verge of unconsciousness and the rest of the ride to the frat house is silent. Niall takes Harry’s bag in for her, pulling Zoe along by the hand while she fights with Harry to wake up enough to get up the stairs.

"Can't feel my legs peanut," he whines, flopping against the railing halfway between the two floors. "carry me please? Like ya used to when we played life guard?"

Y/n can't help but snort at that. Life guard was a silly game they played when they were kids in which someone pretends to drown and the other has to rescue them. Similar to the whole knight-damsel in distress thing but in the city pool. Back then she had height on Harry, and a bit more body mass than him too, so lifting him out of the pool like a princess was quite easy. Now though, she can't imagine being able to even lift his legs.

"Harry, you don't have the weight of a twelve year old anymore. I can't carry you up the stairs."

Childishly, he whines and slumps to the floor with a pout. "Are ya saying I'm fat?"

Digging her hands under his arms, she attempts to pull his large body up but fails miserable. "No," He barely budges. "I'm saying you're a twenty year old, beefy soccer player with the build of a Greek statue, and I'm shorter than you with noodle arms."

Harry pushes himself back to his feet, cheeks splotchy with blush and a shy grin on his lips. "So you're saying I'm hot?"

The shit-eating grin on his face makes her flush with heat, rolling her eyes and nudging him up the stairs again. "Yes Harry, I think you're hot." This time, he obeys, peeking over his shoulder at her as he climbs.

"Don't worry peanut, I think you're hot too."

Harry's glad he remembered to lock his door last night, because the soft raps against it as well as his mother's soft call of "Harry? You awake sweetheart?" is what wakes him up. But not only him.

Y/n groans as she rolls onto her stomach, face burrowing into his pillow. Harry puffs her hair out of his face, eyes shooting open when his mother knocks again. "J-just a second!" He calls back, voice raspy and slurring with sleep. His shout rouses y/n, turning to face him with an annoyed scrunch between her eyebrows. She blinks at him, confused by the panic on his face.

"What's going on?" She mumbles, snaking a hand up the soft skin of his chest until her palm rests over his heart. It's a sweet gesture and if this were any other morning he'd pull her onto his chest and comment on her morning breath before smacking a kiss to her cheek. But his mother is right outside the door

"My mum's here." Y/n propels herself up at Harry's words, eyes widening as she scrambles out of his bed. There's a confusing moment where they both just stare at each other, y/n in the middle of the room with his rumpled shirt and boxers on her, and him still in bed in nothing but his underwear.

"Are you okay Harry?" Anne calls worriedly and that snaps him out of his stupor. "Are you hurting?" He is in fact hurting, particularly on his ribs but he can ignore it for now.

"M'fine! Just getting dressed!" He picks up the first pair of jeans he can find, hopping on each foot as he tries to wiggle into them. Y/n is frantically picking up her clothes from last night while trying to keep her messy hair out of her eyes. "In the bathroom peanut!" Harry whispers urgently, nodding towards the door while he slips on a shirt.

Y/n follows his instructions, disappearing into the bathroom with him on her tail. She drops her clothes onto the counter, fisting at her sleepy eyes and it's so cute Harry wishes he could drag her back to bed right then. He refrains, quickly gearing his tooth brush up with paste and shoving it between his lips.

"'f ya hear me coming in, hop in the shower, m'kay?" He mumbles through froths of toothpaste, sloppily scrubbing his teeth before spitting into the sink. Y/n nods, eyebrows scrunched in focus but by the daze in her eyes he knows she's still half asleep and probably trying to figure out what the hell is going on. His lips quirk up as much as possible while being opened around his tongue, and he quickly scrubs that part of his mouth too before rinsing his toothbrush and mouth.

Y/n stumbles on the bathroom rug, looking down in confusion and then glancing around the bathroom as if just realizing where she's at. "Okay Peanut?" He asks, using his fingers to comb through his hair that's in desperate need of a wash. She nods just once, a yawn stretching her mouth and then she smiles, soft and warm at him. "Can get back in bed once I leave yeah? Just lock the door for me before crashing."

Another prodding knock comes from the door, snapping Harry out of his rose tinted daze. He cups her face, pecking a good morning kiss to her pouting lips. Y/n straightens out his necklace for him, sinking to sit on the edge of the tub and lays her head against the tiled wall. Sparing one last glance, he exits the bathroom and shuts the door behind him. Shaking out his previous panic, he unlocks his bedroom door and opens it.

"Took you long enough." Jess says in greeting, hovering behind Anne with an irritated scrunch on her face. Harry hadn't even realized Jess was here too, and he tries hard to ignore how pissed he is at her for the sake of his mother but he can already feel his neck growing hot with anger.

"Was still getting dressed." He replies dully, only smiling when Anne grabs his face to look over him. Harry gives her a moment to examine him before chuckling, peeling her insistent fingers away. "M'fine mum. Three stitches on my leg and a bruise along my ribs, that's all."

Anne gasps, as if he'd just said he'd been shot. Harry rolls his eyes, backing up into his room to get the pain killers off his dresser. He needs to take one before his leg starts to hurt so bad he can't move. "A bruised bone? Harry I told you to be careful playing-"

"I was careful!" He defends, dropping one of the pills into his mouth. "It's not my fault the other team was playing dirty! And it's not the bone, just the muscle around the bone."

Anne eyes him skeptically, huffing when he swallows his medicine and smiles at her. With a roll of her eyes, she finally relaxes and Harry drops onto the corner of his bed to slip on his socks. Jess perches herself on the edge of his desk, careful to avoid crushing the loose papers and books he has there. "Since when do you read something like Little Women?"

Harry glances up, finding Jess holding his copy of the book with a smug eyebrow raised. Anne picks up a pile of clothes on his floor, dropping them into the laundry bin. He bites back a protest, knowing how much she loves to come over and move his things and 'straighten up.'

"Since a few weeks ago."

Jess hums, dropping the book back on his desk. "Y/n has been reading it too even though she's seen the movie a billion times."

Frowning, Harry moves to stand next to her, stacking his stuff haphazardly just to keep her from digging through it. "I know. We're reading it together since you fucked up her book group."

"Stop cursing at your sister!" Anne scolds just as Jess scoffs. She crosses her arms over her chest, squinting accusingly at him and he has to remind himself that the fight between her and y/n is their fight, not his. He can't interfere, can't risk revealing that he's in love with and dating y/n. She has to be the one to step away Jess. He can't make that decision for her.

"That club was my idea anyway! And I shouldn't have to do it. Those books have nothing to go with my major."

Snorting, he shoves loose pens and pencils into the drawer of his desk. Why the fuck would Jess start book group when she knew that the books had literally nothing to do with her degree in business? "And getting ya nails done with the plastics does?"

Don't get Harry wrong, he hates fighting with Jess. Hates how high pitched she screams, hates that she always runs to Anne, hates the way it makes him feel. That's his baby sister, someone who's been his closest friend their whole lives. But he knew the comment would provoke her and that's exactly why he said it.

Her shrill response is almost instant. "My future depends on that sorority! That's how I'll make connections, get a job, doing something real instead of some silly sport!"

Harry scoffs, chest throbbing at the jab at his favorite thing in the whole world. It's always been his hobby, his love. Something Jess couldn't take from him because she's God awful at sports that aren't volleyball. He's based his whole life off of soccer and she's treating it like he's some washed up high school team captain. "I'm not in the frat just for soccer!" He grumbles, slamming the drawer of his desk shut and cutting across the room. He doesn't know where to go because they're still in the same fucking room but he finds himself standing in front of the bathroom door.

"Oh of course not. I know the girls that hang around here."

Harry whips around to face her, eyes blazing at the amused expression she wears. Maybe Harry slept around a little too much last year, but he wasn't a dick. He treated them all respectfully, made sure they knew that it was just sex for a night, nothing more, but that doesn't make him or any of his one-night-stands bad people. Sex is no reason to degrade someone and her even insinuating that she's superior for not sleeping around makes his blood boil so much he could kick a soccer ball at her head. "You don't anything about the people I hang around. For fuck's sake, you don't even know the people you hang around!"

"Would you too quit it already!" Anne hollers, cutting off whatever argument was on Jess' tongue. She angrily hangs one his sweaters up in the open closet, reaching down to work on the pile of hoodies sitting on the closet floor. "Jess stop teasing your brother, Harry stop yelling and-"

Anne's scolding abruptly stops, gaining Harry's full attention. He turns his glare to his mother, watching her rise from her crouched position from the closet and slowly turn around. Brows knitting in confusion, Harry wonders what she could have possibly found that's got her so shocked, until she stretches out her hand and he recognizes the fabric dangling from her pointer finger.

It's a bra. Not just any bra either. A soft peach colored one, with a cute little bow in the front and lace on the cups that Harry knows he laid eyes on last night before slipping it off y/n and throwing it over his shoulder. It seems in their scramble to hide y/n, they missed her bra that got buried under his sweater from last night. Harry's ears burn, ignoring the pointed look Jess is giving him as he snatches the bra from Anne, stuffing it in his underwear drawer.

"Harry..."

"S'just a bra mum." He mutters weakly, hoping to God that his sister doesn't somehow recognize it at y/n's.

"I know what it is." She snorts, and Harry huffs before flopping onto his bed. "I also know it means you had a girl up here and-"

"Would you believe me if I told you she just stayed the night?"

Jess guffaws, opening her big mouth for another ridiculing comment but Anne elbows get daughter before she can speak. Harry meets Anne's eyes, frowning at the fake smile on her lips. "If that's what you're saying happened, I believe you."

He can tell by the pitch of her voice that she's lying, but he doesn't care. That story is the truth and he'll stand by it, whether she trusts him or not. Rolling his eyes, he looks back at the bathroom and subtly winces, remembering y/n falling asleep in the bathtub. He thought they'd be leaving, maybe going for lunch but now they're just sitting and staring at each other.

"Should we go get brunch?" Harry finally says, hoping they've both had enough of messing with his life and will agree.

"Yes please! I'm starving!" Jess moans, already moving towards his door. Harry slips on his shoes, rolling his eyes again as she dramatically Yanks open his door. "Y/n hasn't gone grocery shopping with me so I haven't eaten."

Anne follows after Jess, cooing lightly and Harry is really debating ramming his head into the wall but decides against it. It'll definitely knock him out, and bring y/n out of the bathroom, and the last thing he needs is y/n trying to explain why she's hiding in his room, in his clothes, while he's out cold. Begrudgingly, Harry follows, grabbing his phone and opening his messages to y/n. He closes his bedroom door, sending her a text.

To Peanut

Coast clear. Don't know when I'll be back but feel free to stay and hang out. I'll let Niall know you're here so he can make extra food

BTW your bra is in my drawer ;) x

"God it's so nice to have those fucking stitches gone." Harry practically moans as he closes the car door, dropping his head back against the headrest. "Were itching me so bad, I swear I was gonna go mad."

Y/n giggles, leaning on the center console to press a kiss to his cheek. "Yeah I know, s'why I was massaging your leg every night before bed."

Harry's smile widens, eyes going moon-y when he turns to look at her. Her stomach overflows with butterflies. "Treat me so good, ya know that?"

Her face floods with heat, biting back a giddy smile. Y/n loves when Harry says sweet things like that, voicing his appreciation and acknowledging her. Again, she wonders how in the world he's related to Jess. And she wonders how she put up with it for so long. "Are you sure you'll be okay for your game this week?"

After missing two weeks of games and limited practice, everyone knows Harry's itching to get back on the field, but she doesn't want him reopening his wound or making it worse by not healing properly. Maybe she's babying him too much, but if it keeps him from getting hurt she doesn't care.

Harry grabs her hand off the console, bringing it up his mouth to kiss the back of it. "M'sure peanut. Doesn't hurt one bit." When she raised a questioning eyebrow he laughs, squeezing her fingers with mirth. "I swear I feel aces."

"Alright," she sighs "if you say so I believe you."

Harry gently places her hand in his lap for a moment, just long enough for him to start the car and let his phone play through the aux cord before connecting their palms again. "You're gonna be there, yeah?" He asks nonchalantly though he knows she'll be at every game. She's even gone out of her way to see him at away games. Yet there's something in him that makes him ask. That something being every high school game he played being void of any family members. The only person who showed up to a couple of them were y/n, always tucked in the corner of the bleachers by herself because Jess had volleyball.

"Of course I'll be there. And then we've got the Halloween party after."

Harry grins triumphantly, "I'll get dressed right after the game and pick ya up? Or are ya going to the house right away?"

"Zoe and I are getting ready at mine. Niall's meeting her there too so you two should drive together."

Harry hums, thinking over the idea. She can tell by the lack of frowning that he's already accepted that plan so she changes the subject. "Is there anything else you need for your costume?"

A woman in scrubs crosses in front of the car, heading towards the entrance of the hospital. Harry's eyes briefly focus on her before his eyebrows pinch together. Y/n is certain she has everything for her costume and she thinks Harry got all his things too. Still, she wants them to look perfect.

"Think I just need some boots but Zayn should have a pair." He finally concludes, then turns to her with a grin. "Reckon you'll kick my ass if I wear Chelsea's eh?"

The unamused quirk of her eyebrow is enough of an answer for him. Chuckling, Harry shifts the car into reverse, extending his arm over her seat as he leaves the parking spot. She waits until he's in drive and safely on the road back to campus before reaching for his hand again.

"Staying with me again?" Harry asks, a hopeful lilt in his tone despite her sleeping at the frat house at least three times a week.

"Fine, but you're staying over with me on Wednesday. I have an early study group and my place is closer."

Harry grins, dimples sinking deep into his cheeks. She knows that he hates having to climb through her bedroom window but her bed is more comfortable so he tries not to complain.

"What are ya studying for?"

"Chemistry exam next week." She grumbles, already dreading the upcoming test. Y/n absolutely loathes science, and even though chemistry is her least hated, she still struggles with the curriculum.

"M'sure you'll do amazing Peanut," Harry assures, having experienced many breakdowns over science work with her throughout the years. "Especially if you're already starting to study. Just don't overwhelm yourself, yeah?"

Appreciative, she nods and gives his hand a squeeze. "Anyway, gotta interview for my job next week so our time together may get a little cut." Harry pouts at his own words, already missing her even though she's sat in the passenger seat next to him.

"Oooh a job?"

Harry giggles lightly. "S'not very glamorous. Just a cashier at that bagel place by the campus apartments."

Y/n instantly lights up, having visited the place with Eleanor once. "I like that place!"

"You've been there?"

She nods, adjusting herself in the seat so she's turned more towards him. "I went with El before one of your games once. It was really cool. And now I have a reason to go again."

Harry's lips curl into a smirk, eyebrows pinching together in faux confusion. "Oh? What reason might that be?"

"Well," she clears her throat, leaning in closer to him as if telling a secret. "it's kind of classified information but I hear they're hiring this really good looking cashier."

Harry attempts to hide his pleased smirk, ultimately failing. "Really? What's he like? Maybe I'll go take a look at this fittie."

His joke brings a bubble of giggles out of her, the sound so pretty Harry peels his gaze away from the road for a brief second to see her smile. "Well, he's not got a major yet but I don't think he's really fretting over it which I think is really cool, because in my opinion, he's such a good soccer player, he'll probably end up signed to a pro team before undergrad graduation anyway."

The way Harry's cheeks tinge pink brings a swelling pride to her chest. He clears his throat, looking a bit too cocky at her response before further questioning her. "Really? Soccer ya say?"

"Mhm."

"Well I don't know if you're aware, but m'on the soccer team."

"Oh really?"

"Captain and everything. Maybe I know this extremely sexy player that doubles as a cashier?" Harry chokes out a little giggle, clearing his throat to gain back his composure. "What's his name again?"

Y/n sighs, pretending to think before gasping. "Now that you mention it, I think I've seen him with you before. He's got a really nice name. Kinda short but pretty."

"Well spit it out already!"

"Oh right!" She sits up straighter, leaning in close again. Harry bites his lip, eagerly awaiting her utterance of his name. "It's Zayn."

"Heyyyy!"

Jess never brought up book club to y/n, not even after she fought with Harry about him taking her place. In fact, that seemed to drive the stake between their friendship even deeper because Jess hasn't gone out of her way to try and fix things with y/n again. She stopped hounding her about her boyfriend, stopped complaining to her about groceries, stopped asking her why she slept over at Zoe's so often (Zoe being her cover for nights at the frat house). By the time Halloween came around, y/n didn't even think Jess would care that she had plans with someone else. They're usual pairing up for costumes had been forgotten, leaving her to easily plan out her night with Harry.

“He insisted on not wearing tights, even if it meant wearing a dress the whole night.”

Y/n laughs at Zoe’s retelling of her picking a costume with Niall, meeting her friends eyes in the mirror as she clips her hair up under her green hat. She's in a little green dress, the edges falling in little triangles against her lighter green tights. A brown belt has gathered the dress at her waist, and her curled hair is peaking out of the cap on her head, blending in cutely with the red feather. Y/n thinks she looks cute, and she's so happy that Zoe and Niall have gone for the gender swap form of Peter Pan and Tinker Bell.

"He's going to freeze his balls off." Y/n laughs, swabbing her brush in more black face paint. "But then again so is Harry. He's shirtless tonight so careful if he comes near you."

"Thanks. I'd hate to lose an eye to one of his four nipples."

They giggle again, y/n darkening the black on her nose and lining her lips. The paws of her dalmatian costume flop dangerously close to smearing the black and she squeals before pushing the sleeve up. Once her dog nose has been drawn, she outlines a spot on her eye.

"Harry played really good tonight." Zoe suddenly says, and y/n just smiles because she's gotten used to hearing that comment. "I think you give him like superhuman powers or something because he's never sprinted as quickly as he did today."

She tries to think back in high school how well he played, and while he wasn't as good as he is now, he's definitely always been a top player. His teammates were always talking about how good a player he is and he received numerous awards and medals for state games and whatnot, so she assumes it can't be just because of her. She wasn't at every high school game and he still managed to get a full ride for college if he played for the soccer team. Hell, he was offered spots at dozens of schools and for some reason he chose the one closest to home.

"He's just really passionate about the game." She offers in reply. Zoe gives her a pointed look but says nothing else on the matter. They finish getting ready in silence, y/n completing her Dalmatian makeup and slipping on black shoes to complete her costume.

"Niall texted," Zoe says, their timing being impeccable. "Harry and him are outside."

Out in the living room stands Jess, Tina, and a few other girls. They're all dressed as Barbie dolls, latex dresses and teased blonde hair with bright lips. Y/n attempts to ignore them, following Zoe towards the front door. She's stopped a few feet from it by Jess.

"You're not going trick or treating right?" Jess asks accusatory, her nose twisted in disgust as if she thinks y/n couldn't actually have anywhere to go on Halloween.

"No, I've got a party to go to actually."

A girl beside Tina pops up at that, a strand of orange hair slipping out from under her fake blonde wig. She quickly tucks it back in. "The Halloween Town party?"

Y/n doesn't know if that's the party at Harry's or not, but he did say it was exclusive to invite only and judging by the girl's desperate look, she wants to get into a party she hadn't been invited to. "Uh I think so. Not sure really."

"Yeah it's that one. And we're part of the costume contest so we have to go." Zoe cuts in, yanking the door open. She steps out onto the pavement, freezing when Niall and Harry are already standing there. Her eyes find Harry's right away, lighting up into a smile at the sight of him. He's got thick brown pants on, the cuffs tucked into thick black boots and suspenders clipped onto them. His chest is bare of a tee-shirt, lean muscles and dark tattoos free for her eyes to roam. A fireman's hat sits on his head, dark curls peeking out from under it.

"You're going with Harry?"

Just noticing his sister lurking behind, Harry's easy grin hardens. Knowing the two of them, Y/n jumps in before Harry can make a smart comment that'll end up pissing everyone off. "Yeah, typically friends do things like going to parties together." She had meant for the comment to be more light-hearted, a bit sarcastic but it clearly didn't come off that way by the growl that leaves Jess.

Y/n nudges Zoe fully out the door, stepping to take her spot next to Harry, and turning back around to face the fuming Barbie in the doorway. "You two aren't friends," Jess denies, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Get over yourself Jess." Harry practically barks, the sharpness of his words making even Y/n startle. "We've been friends just as long as you two were. Longer now, actually."

"She's my best friend Harry!"

Not sure how the conversation quickly turned to them talking about her as if she's a ghost, y/n nudges Harry with her paw covered hand. He glances down at her, jaw clenched and eyes dark, nodding gently just once. Zoe and Niall head back towards Harry's car, y/n hooking a finger on his suspenders to guide him away too. He takes a step back, ready to follow, but not before muttering one last heated sentence at his sister. "If she's your best friend, why's she's dressed up with me?"

Maybe Harry's possessiveness over her, the way he wouldn't let her finish her own fight should bother her, but it doesn't. It's different from the way Jess speaks for her, over her. The two siblings have got that in common, one of their few similarities. When it comes to someone they need, they're a bit too sheltering. She's reminded of that as he leads her to the car, pulling open the passenger door and helping her in. He even goes as far as reaching over to buckle her before she can even reach for the seat-belt.

But Jess and Harry are polar opposites, even in their similarities. Her possessiveness comes from her selfishness, the way she only keeps things and people for a personal gain. Like a child that only wants a toy when someone else is interested it. Harry's a bit like a child too, but in a softer way. A little boy holding onto a treasure he's wanted his whole life. He's protective over y/n, almost annoyingly so, but she understands why. She's the toy he's always wanted, the one that was given to Jess only to sit on a shelf unit he came in and treasured it. He's so overbearing sometimes because he doesn't want her stuck in the back anymore.

He's just pulled away from the curb, hands tight on the steering wheel when she leans over to kiss his cheek, not caring that she smears her black nose on his skin. She doesn't wipe it away, nor does she touch-up her makeup. Maybe she's a bit possessive too.

Zayn and Asteria end up winning the costume contest, dressed as Batman and Catwoman, which isn't exactly impressive until Zayn had spoke in a gruff, raspy tone and shot a trinket out of his utility belt while Asteria pulled off a very smooth and alluring back flip over the item shot out. While other costumes were certainly more creative, Y/n hands down agrees with them winning. She's not even bothered that her and Harry didn't make it very far in the competition. They're costumes got pretty sloppy after Harry's drunk mind realized he's only surrounded by his friends and people he trusts, and he's had his mouth attached to hers ever since. The outline of her lips and puppy nose are a mess, and his face is stained black around his mouth, but neither of them care.

"Peanut?" She hums, not taking her eyes off the detailing of the pumpkin in front of her. They decided to carve Jack Skellington into theirs, sticking with the theme of Halloween Town, and she wants it to be perfect. "Need to wee."

Giggling as he brushes his mouth over the side of her neck where's he's pulled her hood back, she pauses her meticulously carving of Jack's twisted smile. "Then go babe."

The arm around her waist squeezes, Harry huffing as glances towards the back door. The party moves around them, a few people working on pumpkins of their own at the designated carving station, either too drunk or too happy to be bothered by the cold air. "Will you go with me?"

She giggled again, finding the question funny in her buzzed state but Harry pouts on her shoulder. "You're not drunk enough that you can't go by yourself."

"Know that," he sighs, lowering his voice as he nudges her to look up with a knock of his head on her temple. "don't wanna walk by him by myself."

Y/n doesn't even need him to clarify who he's so hesitant to walk by, because leaning against the house by the door back inside is a clown, particularly Pennywise the clown, who she knows Harry's always been terrified of. He had a yellow raincoat when he was a kid and he used to love playing in the puddles in the street, so after seeing the movie and realizing he could've easily been in the same situation as Georgie, Harry's had an irrational fear of clowns.

A bit sad to leave her pumpkin behind, she pouts down at it's carved face before setting her tools down. "Alright Har, let's go." He takes her right hand, staying pressed against her side as they squish through the crowded back yard. Harry's fingers tighten as they inch closer to the clown and she can feel him hunch over, hiding behind her frame. Y/n has to bite her lip to keep from laughing at how cute he is, letting him rush into the house first. She stumbles over the doorway, Harry tugging her by the hand in his haste to get away from the clown.

"That fucker was eyeballing me, I swear it." He reasons, lips brushing her ear now they're in the house where a song about teeth is blasting too loudly. The fog machine in the living room spits out another layer of fog, misting through the fake spider webs and over The Nightmare Before Christmas figurines. Unable to stop herself (not that she really needs to), y/n pecks a kiss to Harry's warm cheek.

"Alright, let's get you to the bathroom before Pennywise comes in."

Together they climb the stairs, Harry wanting to use his own bathroom instead of the packed one in the living room. There's a bit of a fumble with the lock on his door but manage to get it open before Harry can whine about his bladder exploding. It's not until he's in the bathroom, peeing with the door open (a habit he's had since he was a kid), does y/n realize how exhausted she is. It's barely pushing 1am but her buzz and the rowdiness of the party have drained her. Pushing herself off the bed, she kicks off her shoes and flicks the lock on the door just as Harry drags his feet out of the bathroom.

"Don't wanna go back down?"

Harry's already tossed his fireman's hat on the dresser and is struggling with boots when she turns to face him. "M'tired. Wanna get out of my costume." His boot thumps on the carpet and she fumbles with the collar around her neck. The room is void of conversation as they both work on removing their outfits, Harry managing to strip down to his boxers fairly easy. By the time y/n has caught up, folding her costume in just her underwear and a plain bra, Harry's dug out makeup wipes and is sloppily cleaning the lower half of his face.

"Here babe, let me get it." Her words make Harry visibly soften, perching his bum on the edge of the bed and parting his thighs for her to fit between. She takes a clean wipe, ridding him of the black as gentle as possible.

"I used to have dreams of you like this." Harry admits in a whisper when she's finished. He takes a wipe of his own, rubbing off her nose with the softest of touches.

"Taking off my makeup?"

His eyes don't meet hers as he continues. "In my room, calling me babe or something. Were never wearing something like this though," one of his fingers tugs at the strap of her bra. "always in just my shirt. And we whispered like this because everyone was asleep just down the hall."

Y/n's stomach tightens, her whole being swelling with pride at the thought of Harry dreaming about sneaking her into his room. She thought about it too sometimes, when they were snuggled in separate sleeping bags in the living room. He always looks so warm and soft when he sleeps that she'd often imagine curling up next to him, nose buried in the curls on top of his head and sleeping for eons. "Yeah?"

Harry nods, lips beginning to curl up the slightest bit. "Yeah. Sometimes you'd just climb into bed with me, let me hold you until the morning when we had to sneak back downstairs." With a tender kiss to her forehead, Harry tosses the dirty makeup wipes into the trash by the bed. His grin twists into a smirk, drunken eyes shining with mischief. "Other times you'd climb into my lap..." he trails off, moving to climb onto the bed. Taking her hand in his, Harry pulls her up the mattress until he's sat against the headboard with her perched over his thighs. "just like this. We'd kiss for ages, until I felt like I was going to suffocate from having my mouth on yours."

Harry's hands ghost up her bare thighs, palms warm and soft. She shivers at the touch, scooting further up his legs until the bulge in his boxers is pressed against her heat. A low groan rumbles through his chest, nostrils flaring as he drops his lips to the top of her breasts. "I had dreams about you too. Always slept better on those nights." She whispers back, raking her fingers through his hair while his warm breath raises goosebumps on her skin.

"Did ya have dirty dreams?" Harry murmurs cheekily, words raspy with need. After weeks of fooling around with him, learning the spots that make him tremble, the noises that make him twitch, the rhythm that makes him cum, she also knows Harry loves to talk during moments like this.

"Of course I did." Y/n giggles breathlessly, sighing contently when he brings a hand to her back and unclasps her bra. "How couldn't I when you look like this?"

Harry tilts his head back up to meet her gaze, cheeks pink and lips wet with his own saliva. His smirk practically falls off the edges of his face. Nimble fingers peel off her bra, tossing it somewhere in the room. "You were my first wet dream too." Harry coos and she's utterly baffled at how he can make even that seem romantic.

"Dreamed about having you since I was finally able to understand what it meant to actually want you." He continues, one arm locking around her waist to bring her closer while the other cradles the side of her face. "Which is why I don't want our first time to be on Halloween after we've had drinks. Want to remember everything, feel everything when I finally get to have you."

Heat crawls up her chest and neck, heart swelling at his words. They've yet to have a real discussion about sex, only going as far as utilizing their hands and mouths, and knowing that going all the way is as big a deal to Harry as is it her makes her actually want to kiss him until he suffocates. "Me too."

Nudging his nose into her cheek, Harry connects their mouths for a kiss. Monster Mash plays for the umpteenth time below them and the cackle of a witch comes from the decorations outside the house, and yet y/n thinks she might be falling in love with Harry Styles.

#In The Shadows #harry styles #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #harry styles au #best friend's brother #forbidden love #frat boy harry styles #college harry #harry styles smut #kinda lol #one direction

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