#and he's so obviously the abuser
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Johnny Depp fans “supporters of abuse victims”: Amber heard is a slut,WHORE,golddigger,skank,BITCH,liar,manipulator,FAKER
Teehee I’m not a misogynist tho :):):):) I just care so much about abuse victims and I’m totally not a deranged fan who’s fav is a angry drunk who has a long history of violent outbursts
#I didn't even care about this trial at first#i hate celebrities#and I hated that my youtube page got filled with these videos despite me never looking into it#but the sheer amount of misogyny this has brought out in people made me actually look into it#and he's so obviously the abuser#amber heard#depp isn't gonna fuck y'all dumbasses lmfao#depp literally said he wanted to burn her alive and r*pe her corpse y'all are fucking stupid
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try not to think too hard about the fact that your grandpa (the worst person you know) was literally exactly like you when he was 14
(pr/ship dni)
#rick and morty#rick sanchez#morty smith#im imagining a scenario in which morty meets young rick and hes like Ohhhhh i get it so its all over.#like idk. he already probably has some complex over not ending up like rick#but then seeing how similar they used to be hed probably start feeling like its inevitable#like obviously it isnt. but idk. could fuel some interesting character drama guys im just spitballin here!!!!#something about the cycle of abuse and seeing yourself in your abuser
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“When toxic behavior is portrayed as romantic, it’s problematic. When problematic behavior is portrayed as a character flaw for a character to work through, it’s good storytelling.”
Katsuki Bakugou, my friends.
His behavior was problematic but never once portrayed as romantic at the same time. Katsuki said and did awful abusive things, and he also chose to be better when he was given the chance. If you’re still hung up on chapter 1 Katsuki now then I don’t think you’ve been reading the same story I have.
I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m not shipping Izuku with an irredeemable abuser. I’m shipping him with his most important person. His narrative foil. His childhood friend who made awful mistakes and then made it right when he saw he was wrong. The person Izuku looks up to and strives to emulate, despite their past struggles.
Bakudeku is so good because of how flawed these boys are, and how hard they’ve worked to get over it, and how much they matter to each other after it all
#perfect stories about perfect people who never do anything wrong are usually boring#stories about growth and mistakes and redemption and forgiveness and progress are lit#bkdk#bakudeku#the quote is from cinema therapy on YouTube btw#love them so much#they look at media and talk about what is and isn’t good from a real life human perspective#and boy did this quote slap me in the face#anyway this is my thought literally any time anyone says something about shipping Izuku with his abuser#if he was still being abused then I get it#but he’s not#and saying he needs protection from Katsuki is honestly doing his character dirty#and this is not to say that every situation with an abuser and a victim should turn out romantic#obviously not#the world is not black and white and neither are people#sometimes you have to get yourself out and never look back and that is valid and healthy#but sometimes you’re talking about two boys in a manga who literally cannot stop thinking about how good and incredible the other is#bro I get it#surface level chapter/episode 1 Katsuki is literally the worst#but his glow up has been literally meteoric
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psa that the day there are no jgy stans left on tumblr dot com is the day i am dead
but rest assured i'll go to my grave exactly as i lived: obnoxiously proclaiming to everyone within earshot how great lianfang-zun is. narratively, metaphorically, spiritually. sexually, too, like why limit myself. i like to keep my options open
#the spirit of su minshan possessed me for a minute there but like. i'm fine with it#jin guangyao#he did crimes??? good for him 😌#editing this post to add that while the tone here is clearly joking#i really am fundamentally still engaged with this fandom#and with this book#almost exlcusively because of my enjoyment of jgy#even xiyao is secondary for me like i love it and i'm ride or die for it obvs#but jgy as a character is the main draw for me. and he would have me by the throat even if there was no zewu-jun#(tho i think jgy's life would be more depressing for his absence obviously)#but he is just. /clenches my fists!!!#THE most compelling character in the story and i cannot stop thinking about him!! cannot will not!!#who else in this book has his range? who else can be the doe-eyed idealist AND the spy with blood on his hands who ends a war?#who else is two different greek tragedies and at least two separate shakespearean tragedies rolled into one antagonist#an antagonist who but for the POV of the novel could very easily have been the protagonist#whose moral event horizon is so deeply entwined with his own trauma and abuse that there is no way to meaningfully separate#the violence he does to others from the systemic violence that was done to him for his whole life?#who else in this book manages to get five separate sect leaders utterly obsessed with him no matter how you choose#to interpret that obsession?#no one!!! that's who!!#ain't no one else in the jianghu doing it like lianfang-zun and that's just a goddamn fact
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800 year old martial god causes problems on purpose by kidnapping the heir of a great sect . or something
#the story goes that if u abuse your child xuan zhen will gut you with his hundred inch sabre btw#but of course its all rumours obviously a god wouldnt kidnap a child for no reason :) of course#what do u mean the heir of ymj actually disappeared and his parents were slaughtered#whatever could have happened#anyway baby jc meeting the rest of the family ^_^) guy in red looks intriguing#guy in white looks so nice his lap is perfect seat and jc Will sit there#why does the third guy think jc will chew up jc is a good boy 😞 he warms up eventually#chew Him up . ugh#and guy who is mother is warm and makes jc feel loved . and its so great#they live happily ever after#meeting bflf would look insane so thats for later#this is all i could think of while sickdying so here u have it they make me very happy#art tag#tgcf#mdzs#jiang cheng#hua cheng#mu qing#xie lian#feng xin#fengqing#hualian#tian guan ci fu#mo dao zu shi
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7x04 being from Buck's perspective broke my brain because of the way we saw Eddie through Buck's eyes. Then I realized that Suspicion, where Eddie was shot, was from Eddie's perspective, and all of Surviviors was from Buck's perspective and I want to jump into the ocean.
#the implications......#we saw eddie's turmoil when carla brought up the follow your heart line#his agony over charlie's abuse#then the shooting and watching his best friend splattered with his blood#that split second where he realized who buck was to him and has been all along#the way he wanted to reach out and touch buck one last time#(do not think about eddie thinking about chris under any circumstances but if you do imagine eddie feeling relieved that buck will be there#and sorrow that he won't be there with chris and won't get to see him grow up and won't get to see buck#and then we have survivors right#we immediately jump to buck's perspective with him getting eddie into the ambulance and eddie asking if buck was hurt *sobs*#and the whole episode is mostly buck's side#but so is the will scene!!!!#because we obviously went nuts over the implications of it#but consider the tone of the scene--there's devotion yes#but most of the tone is that of disbelief#because buck can't believe eddie did this and eddie didn't tell him and eddie is telling him now#and eddie wants buck to carry on for christopher if eddie is gone#and buck absolutely would#but in his mind he can't fathom a world where he has to exist without eddie#and eddie is the one asking him to#hahahahah fuck you don't find it son you make it all over again#buck made this and buck chose this and buck has to live with it#i can't wait for these men to realize/bring to light all the love between them#911 abc#this unraveling on a saturday afternoon is brought to you by insanity
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I feel like people aren't getting it. In. The. Books. Perseus. Jackson. Is. An. Unreliable. Narrator. This goes for everything he thinks. Percy loves his mother, so he writes her praises. In the show we get to see what Sally does from an outside POV not filtered through a child that idolizes his mother. It's not ooc for Sally to act like she does in the show. she's a single mother raising a neurodivergent, Demigod, and she's scared that when the Gods get to him they'll corrupt him. She's not suddenly a girl boss we're getting to see her for how she is.
#percy jackson#sally jackson#“sHe sToOd uP tO gABe sHe wOuLdnT dO tHat' she did it because percy needed to get to montock so she could tell him about how hes a demigod#sally as a character will do anything for her son. gabe being abusive doesnt negate what she needs to. do for her son. in in the book the#second gabe was no longer needed she turned him into a statue and sold him to to the highest bidder. she was putting up with the abuse for#percys sake. and this is then woman that grebbed a gun and started fighting in the battle of Manhattan. shes not weak. you can be two things#she can be motherly and strong. and obviously she has her douts. she thinks shes failing. she called posiden when it was too much and he#reassured her she was doing her best and she needs to do what she thinks is best. and we are only seeing some scenes#we're seeing whats relevant to the plot and whats relative is sally preparing Percy. and she obviously cares for her son and her son for her#she has to be a good mother cus percy is literally going to the underworld to save her. just stfu about the book#ive read the books to but some of you are awful. like no adaptation is to the letter. somethings had to be cut or glossed over and some are#changed because money or that a book is a different medium then a show or movie! you cant do everything cus its impossible.#were in a completely different pov. we're not in Percys head seeing his thoughts.#pjo series#pjo#pjo tv show#percy jackson and the olympians#percy series#batcavescoloy watches the PJO tv show#batcavescolony watches
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something that gets to me a lot when people suggest iroh was wrong for not intervening during the agni kai is like... can we just think through what would have happened if he'd tried?
before i say this, i want to also say that intervening in abuse in real life is also a difficult, complicated, and often inaccessible process. that doesn't mean people shouldn't try or that i think it's right things are that way - but there are legal parameters to what one is allowed to do in a situation where they witness or suspect abuse, particularly for things that are not universally recognized as inappropriate and abusive behaviors.
with that in mind:
the agni kai is a culturally sanctioned, violent, ritualistic duel. that doesn't make what ozai does right, of course, but it does make intervening that much harder. ozai was pretty obviously breaking the acceptable terms of an agni kai (because we may not know all the rules, but even if it's not an official standard, attacking a surrendering opponent is pretty much universally recognized as bad form. evidence that this is also true in-universe is that azula deliberately uses this cultural value to her advantage by faking her surrender when fighting iroh, zuko, and the gaang so that they'll stop attacking and she can strike iroh in bitter work. edit: i misspoke, this was the chase. whoops!) therefore, one could argue that someone (such as iroh) would have been in the bounds of their rights to step in during the agni kai. and i agree! he absolutely would have been, at least morally. but legally, he is living under the imperalist rule of his brother, so... acting like it's so simple ignores the power imbalance not just between zuko and ozai, but iroh and ozai at this stage of their lives.
sure, iroh was once next in line to be firelord, but that hasn't been true in a few years by this point, and ozai is now the absolute monarch of their nation. iroh can't appeal to a higher authority or report the danger zuko is in because ozai is the highest authority in their nation, and he's the one posing a danger to zuko.
some might argue, then, that iroh should have physically intervened, but again, i think it's important we consider context. because again - ozai is the absolute authority of the fire nation at this point. defying him in this way would be treason, and ozai has plenty of guards and other military officers under his rule that could fight iroh for him, even if ozai didn't deign to do it himself.
iroh is a powerful bender and a good fighter, but he's one man and unlikely to be able to gain the upper hand in a fight where he's so clearly outnumbered by people loyal to the regime, which ozai currently leads. the most likely results of iroh's potential intervention, in my opinion, would have been his getting arrested or killed, and zuko still getting burned and banished, only now without iroh coming along to look out for him. if he had tried to physically intervene, it would have been on the frankly very slim chance that he could have somehow managed to fight off ozai/guards/military officers, remove zuko from the situation, and safely get himself and zuko out of the palace...
and, in the wise words of iroh himself, then what? they wouldn't have the (already somewhat meager, compared to zhao's or azula's) resources they have in book one, yet they absolutely could not stay on fire nation soil at that point. maybe they could have figured something out??? like, i don't know how. (the part of my brain that likes thinking up aus and then never writing them imagines maybe he contacted the white lotus and hid out until they came, but i digress.)
but again, there's nothing iroh could have done in this situation that wouldn't have been risking not only his own, but zuko's safety. zuko's safety was already compromised in the agni kai, of course, but iroh maintaining his own safety meant he would be available to try and protect zuko in the long-term.
none of this means that i don't think iroh felt ashamed and guilty about his inaction (he quite obviously did, based on the way he recounts the story and how he "looked away" in the storm.) and i also don't think it would be totally unsympathetic or wrong for zuko to have some amount of resentment for it, either (i think this is less based in canon, but i've seen it in fics - where they otherwise clearly have a largely positive relationship - and i think it can be done well and add to the dynamic in an interesting and meaningful way.) it's obviously awful that this was done to zuko. but the nature of abuse is that it can often leave people, both the victims and the witnesses, with very few, if any, good choices. and that's tragic, but the onus of that tragedy will always be on the abuser - in this case, on ozai.
#abuse //#fandom critical#ig#ask to tag //#zuko & iroh#zuko#iroh#ozai#atla meta#my meta#also a note that i'm not saying iroh necessarily thought it through so deeply. i'm not Not saying it like i think he would obviously be#aware of the risks#but just. i think acting like it's simple does a disservice to the story
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i love how fraught and complicated discourse around various utena characters ‘dying’ is when anthy is literally stabbed to death eternally by a million swords imbued with human hatred. and then utena gets stabbed to death by them also. like. ‘death’ is incredibly interesting in rgu because most of the time it’s this ambiguous figurative thing that has interesting implications re: ohtori as a closed-off world one can escape. we are all trapped in our coffins. mamiya is the only named character with a grave. nemuro memorial hall functions as one all the same. ruka is implied to have died in the hospital— was he dead all along? who was the boy we saw for these two episodes? is this dead boy the same boy, or is this just another coincidence from the shadow girls, cutting like a knife? it’s heavily implied that akio and anthy murder kanae by poisoning her, adding to the previous implication that they were poisoning mr ohtori too, but there are no perceptible consequences of this. kanae’s absence is not felt. she’s fed an apple slice. what happens to the bodies? we know what happened to the 100 boys, but what about everyone else? and so on and so forth. ‘death’ is a tricky thing in utena, i think it’s constantly functioning on figurative and literal levels in very different ways for very different purposes. dios died. dios was dying. dios didn’t die. he grew up. etc etc
#what am i trying to say here?#idk! think about all of the pieces you have#dying is complicated in ohtori in countless different ways#and i find it boring to see so much ‘this character is dead and that’s it’ stuff#when death is used farrrrrrr more figuratively than some ppl give credit for#and i think the movie too does wonderful things with death#and what ‘dying’ really means#being disbelieved. being forgotten. being rejected. haunting despite this#much more interesting to think about wrt commentary on abusive relationships than it is#to think about what?? oh me when my brother died but plot twist he’s alive and can walk on this road all cool. like?????#akio doesn’t have the power to make himself revenant#he THINKS he does and he absolutely has power when he’s alive and he imbues that power with such meaning that it does live on after him#but ANTHY. anthy is the one struggling with herself and her feelings and the impact of trauma and abuse (that power!!) in aou#he’s dead? he died? she brought him back through her memories? or she’s left him (metaphorical death) and he’s haunting her??#all such interesting interpretations#i haven’t mentioned touga bc i don’t have the energy today. if dead and just illusion of others memories then why active. why awful#like in aou akio is only Obviously scummy when he’s alive. his illusory self is based upon anthy’s love for him#if anime!touga is nothing more than nanami/whoever’s memories of him before he died……. why does he actively choose to suck again and again#like nanami wouldn’t do that. unless it was meant to be a subconscious thing like ooo he’s dead all along but that’s not what her arc is#it’s not ‘he’s been dead all along’ literally or figuratively. it’s ‘he’s unsafe and i don’t want him’#sigh. once again i am asking people to think about nanami and touga’s dynamic through touga’s eyes#it’s so interesting to me how people forget to consider his motivations or feelings on ANYTHING#like sure his motivations and feelings are scummy but they’re interesting!!!!! they intrigue me!!!!#compel me even#anyway ignore how i said i didn’t have the energy for this and then typed it all out anyway#dais.txt
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I think one of the funniest things about the prequel trilogy to Generations gap is that like Drizzt is like WOAGHG.....ZAK IS SO COOL....MY DAD WAS A MORALLY PERFECT PERSON WITHOUT A SINGLE FLAW....because he is a small child who is prone to black and white thinking and also coping with the trauma of his death
and then you actually get like, what everyone thinks about Zak in Generations back in the day and it turns out most people thought he was a deeply annoying asshole because he was, in fact, a deeply annoying asshole who happened to be really good at swords to the point that he was actively muzzled at the academy because he was embarrassing the higher-born students. Like two people liked him and that was Despite Everything. He just kind of was a dipshit that sucked. Love that.
#legend of drizzt#like obviously he was also abused and in a bad situation#so like a lot of it was lashing out at the only things he could control#but also people just didnt like him dshfsngnsjsg#NO respect#AS IT TURNS OUT THE KIND OF PERSNO WHO WOULD JUST#HAVE RANTING MONOLOGUES COMPLETELY OUT OF NOWHERE#IS KIND OF INSUFFERABLE
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It's crazy that people still uphold show!Sansa as a well-written character and pretend that liking her is the pinnacle of feminism when it would be infinitely more impactful to acknowledge her terrible and misogynistic writing. This is the same character who, while written by two men, was thankful for the abuse she suffered because it allowed her to grow. The same character who we had to be told was smart because the writers were too lazy to develop or show her intelligence. The same character who had to rely heavily on the men surrounding her and ended up accomplishing nothing on her own merit ( and no, thinking that she deserved to be Queen doesn't mean that she earned it). She is not well-written, she is not complex, and she is not a feminist character. Which is fine! If you enjoy her then good on you, but please stop pretending that she's something she isn't just because you feel the need to justify liking her character
#anti got#anti d&d#anti show sansa#anti sansa stans#like literally one of the worst written characters on that show because they tried so hard to make her the most important#while being entirely incompetent and their only method of doing so was to steal from other characters which ruined the plot#the only arguable achievement was defeating LF but even then it's written in the script that she had to go to Bran to explain things#/she rallied the Vale army!/ no she didn't 😭 she wrote a letter to LF and he did everything. instead of showing her arc in the Vale and#her learning about politics to rally them herself they took the quickest route to give her a /badass/ savior scene#which only ended up making her look selfish + power-hungry for putting her brothers' lives at risk for not telling anybody about said lette#and idiotic in the aftermath after relying once again on LF even though he was very obviously manipulating her#/pawn to player/ sounds catchy on paper but without seeing that growth/development it doesn't work#Arya was terribly written but at least we /saw/ her training in a way we never did with Sansa#and people try to apply this same logic to the books and think she's gonna suddenly spring forth as a political mastermind#when that's not how George writes...we see characters develop and make mistakes on page and get actual earned growth#feminism isn't defending the writing of two men who gave her a rape plot not in the books because they thought it was /interesting/#when the only aspect of that plot they adapted was a woman suffering abuse :/#and as per usual with stansas their only /evidence/ of her being well-written is accusing you of being misogynistic if you don't like her
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this is a very unimportant part of the conversation i realize but. i feel like it's worth bringing up because i'm seeing a lot of people talk about not listening to wilbur's solo stuff as well as lovejoy a) because he directly profits from it and b) because. a good portion of the lyrics he's written can be recontextualized with the information shelby's given about her experiences with him. but i have not seen a single person mention the fact that she says at one point he told her he "wanted to see how much fame/wealth [he] could amass" (not direct quote but essentially the sentiment expressed).
this isn't a conversation specific to this situation - the idea that it is possible in certain scenarios to separate the art from the artist. that's something that simply cannot be done here, and it's not even solely because the lyrics come across very differently now, or because he profits off of people streaming his music (not to say that the latter isn't enough of a good reason, but you get the idea i hope).
shelby said he fully admitted to her that he just. wanted to see how much fame/wealth/etc. he could gain while he was actively abusing her. and again, this'll be my only post talking about the impact on his music specifically that i'll make, because ultimately it is absolutely not important in the grand scheme of things, but. i feel as though it's important that the fact that shelby mentioned he said that doesn't get forgotten.
#abuse mention#wilbur soot#shelby shubble#i hope this comes across right i'm just. so fucking angry right now#for a multitude of reasons#obviously the biggest among them being that. he could do all those things to her and flaunt it the way she described#but idk. i've seen some discussion about his music career and felt this was important to mention#if that makes any sense#ari posting
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Something so interesting and missed out by a lot of TOH fans is that the young antagonistic characters that redeemed themselves DO NOT denounce being what they are , to recognize their privilege or lineages is vital to their characters, they cannot control where they come from, but they want to change because they want to denounce CRUELTY, to ally themselves with whats actually right, and to fight for their own selves instead of being a pawn for the opressor . This is why readings of Hunter to say "he didnt really have to Redeem himself" kind of miss the point, because Hunter, while being an obvious abuse victim, was still an upholder of the emperor´s coven and negatively affected people (he obviously regrets ever trying to forcefully recruit the flyer derby team just to prove himself in the coven) because of they way he was raised to do so, and its fine to feel shame about that, and its fine when he says hes worried about being a copy of a witch hunter too , because even if its a bit of an irrational fear , it shows that hes caring and responsible for the wellbeing and comfort of his fellow witches , you Have To show kids that having regrets its normal, and that you have your willpower to do better than what your ancestors or family have done, because everyone is a part of history in the making.
#before you jump i need you all to know im an abuse survivor and a mixed man. every bit of toh is intrisically denouncing colonialism#and opressive power hierarchies and classism#so please . im Not Shaming hunter for being abused in ANY way.#the owl house#im just saying he obviously shares traits of the journey of like. any white ally trying to learn
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consistently I'm a little annoyed about the rift between c!Tommy and c!Dream fans in this fandom. like I like your guy too! I think he's great! actually, I think our guys have a lot in common! I'd love to see your take on this really messy, complicated relationship!
oh wait you think c!Dream is a pure evil, completely heartless villain that exists to do nothing but torment c!Tommy, who is of course a sweet innocent uwu baby who did absolutely nothing wrong, and therefore deserves to be murdered twice, imprisoned, isolated, starved, and tortured with no control over his own autonomy (but prison was actually way better than exile, which was the worst thing that ever happened to anyone on the dsmp. obviously. because c!Tommy tried to kill himself. yeah. don't think about c!Dream walking into a wall of lava and burning himself to death multiple times because he was so incredibly desperate for human connection. that was to escape, right? c!Dream couldn't possibly feel real emotions -- that would mean he's a person that -- oh no -- deserves compassion despite the terrible things he did. oh no -- that would make him -- gasp -- a lot like c!Tommy!) and actually he deserved more than that. he was never actually punished. c!Dream always won (citation needed).
also, c!Tommy was a child. do I have to say that again. well, I will anyway. c!Tommy was a child. c!Tommy was a child. c!Tommy was a child.
great.
#discourse#dreblr#c!discduo#to clarify I don't think c!Tommy deserved exile#obviously#no one deserves to be manipulated and abused and bullied#I don't think anyone actually thinks that exile was a good thing#to be fair#it's a really annoying strawman but people keep bringing it up#c!Tommy went through some pretty horrific shit!#but so did c!Dream#there is no law on the dsmp#if you're mad at c!Dream because he blew up L'Manberg -- good for you#in the nicest way possible I do not care#doomsday was not a crime#no one even died#DOOMSDAY WAS NOTHING MORE THAN PROPERTY DAMAGE#what would you call c!Tommy griefing c!George's house again?#sorry for ranting#I'm just tired of not being able to follow like any c!tommy apologist blogs because they have inevitably posted#super rancid takes about c! and cc!dream#why is c!discduo discourse such a mess#why can't we be friends#I don't want to argue with any post directly because I think that's rude#but I wish we could have lore discussions in good faith and actually learn about each others' favorite characters#without accusing each other of being abuse apologists or whatever#I know I came off as kinda mean here#I'm sorry#no one's going to read this anyway#I'm just sensitive and this is frustrating
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the thing is like. hmm. okay. everyone's always talking about how sam doesn't know anything about dean because you never know your parents etc and like. VALID REAL AND TRUE but also. parents also tend to not. try to get to know their children ykwim. it's a two way street. dean's so hyperfocused on trying to keep sam safe — which, again, from his perspective that is thee priority and that's so fair — that he's like. well. you're not allowed to hate this life I've made for you because i sacrificed everything for it and it has to mean something. but the thing is sam does hate it. he hates it so much. and dean won't accept this hatred or even look at it. i mean they still love each other very much and i think that's kind of the bittersweet part of it, and also. like. idk makes them feel more like family than anything else does. but yeah. they're BOTH clueless about the other, is the thing. fifteen years, and they only ever get close to bridging that huge divide a couple of times. it's. well. idk. it's something to think about ig.
#re: last rb where. dean just. expects sam to be a certain way bc he is. which is very reminiscent of how parents expect their kids#to have a certain view of the world just because they're*their* kids ykwim?#and like it's obviously not an abusive thing — not in this case at any rate — but it does lend itself to causing a huge. gap in#dean's understanding of sam#like he knows his brother but there are so many things he doesn't know#and VICE VERSA LIKE.#dean is hiding some things because he can't bear for his brotherson to know you know what i mean?#anyway#spn things#brothers#w/ncesties don't even look at this post istg#salmondean#doe is talking again
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𝗠𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗲'𝘀 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀, 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗠𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗽𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿. This lengthy headcanon will refer to canon dialogue from mostly Gale, sometimes others. Reader's discretion is very much advised. There will be in depth explorations into grooming, emotional abuse, heavy manipulation, and suicide.
First, let it be said that Gale, a mortal man, will always be the powerless one in his dynamic with Mystra. Of course, nearing forty years of age, he remains entirely responsible for his own actions, his own foul blunders and every hurt he'll cause, but it's important to remember who formed much of who he is: his goddess, his deity, and egregiously, his lover.
Mystra is power. Mystra is possibility. She knows what sway she holds over her Ioyal, vulnerable, and entirely mortal followers. In all ways that matter, they are but lambs she can steer and herd as she sees fit. She knows they can't deny her, and knows they'll never want to. Gale's sheer servitude and complete devotion; to the very quick of his bones, she lapped them up.
Gale: I was just... practising an incantation.
Player Character: No, there's more to it than that. I know devotion when I see it.
Gale: What can I say? She's—she's Mystra. I can't describe it, the need I sometimes feel to see her - to draw the filaments of fantasy into existence... Mystra is all magic. And as far as I'm concerned, she is all creation.
Player Character: I didn't realize the depth of your devotion.
Gale: Magic is... my life. I've been touched with the Weave for as long as I can remember. There's nothing like it.
Gale, orb in his chest, doomed to be eaten by the very thing he loves the most, still speaks so reverently of the goddess, of his lover that has left him to die. He conjures images of her memory—and she is all the while forgetting about his.
Minsc: Gale reminds me of vremyonni of my homeland. The man-mages of Rasheman. While the girl-folk go on to rule as wychlaran, Weave-touched boys were hidden away. Trained to work their craft in silence and secrecy. It is an old custom, not well-observed. In truth, I thought it born of caution after some catastrophe of wizardly men-folk of old. Now, I wonder if it was not done to hide them from Mystra, and the snares she sets for young and prideful boys, hm?
Tales of Mystra's treachery spreads far, leaving those familiar waters surrounding Gale's tower in Waterdeep. They whisper her name, afraid to utter it one time too many, suspecting, perhaps, that she'll show in their mirror like some Faerûnian Bloody Mary.
Talent rouses Mystra. She can see who uses the gift of the Weave and feel them, sampling whatever delight sings their veins as they pull from her domain. Not unlike a spider, she'll follows every tremor that strikes her as just a sliver more profound; and Gale, a prodigy, plucked the Weave's web to so garner her focus. And like some black widow scurrying, she surged down that ripple to prey on a boy. There, Gale, so impressionable, was just a mite older than twelve whole summers. He sat so stunned, beholding Mystra as she lured him into the cradle of her Astral domain. Bathed in her magic, pleasantly coddled within that glittering cosmos, Gale felt blessed in a way he'll struggle always to recount, no word, no language, fit to describe it. He felt chosen. He felt seen. And potently, to a child, he felt loved. Now, imagine a child experiencing something like that. Imagine what they'd think, how brilliant they must be when stood beside the rest. She told him he was gifted, made his heart swell not unlike a child's appetite for praise. She knew what she was doing by offering these morsels, by preying on a child's most delicate mind, and Gale, child prodigy, was already so awash in the idea that his value was in magic. Unfortunately, Gale, susceptible, had no way of squirming out of his goddess' grasp.
Reality: She's laid down the seeds to creep into his heart. When he's just old enough—seventeen's sufficient, she thinks—she stakes her claim and makes him hers.
Gale: My virtuosic talent once caught the eye of the goddess of magic herself, Mystra, who named me her chosen and her lover.
Gale is stunned when she takes him to bed the first time. (Is this really happening?) Mystra claims his mouth in a kiss, taking everything she knows he offers so willingly. Mystra, of course, is not so stunned.
Dream Visitor: An elder brain... one of the cruelest and most powerful creatures in existence, enslaved by mere mortals.
Gale, tasked with Mystra's missive to sacrifice himself: This is it... I must do as Mystra commands.
Gale has worryingly low self-esteem beyond his magic. As already explored, his entire worth as a man hinged on and was built entirely off his talent as a wizard. He fought tooth and nail for any crumb of affection Mystra would offer his way, something she only gave him at all seeing his gift as a child. He wants her forgiveness. He desires it genuinely. He believes so firmly that he has wronged his goddess, buying into the idea that sacrificing himself will right his wrong. She holds such dominion over him, making him reduce his confidence in himself into a mere, trifling pittance; after all, she wasn't just his lover, but the patron deity he prays to. And regardless, Gale is a people pleaser, his initial acceptance of her missive coming as no surprise.
After all, Gale, at times, goes to incredible lengths to appease his audience. This habit, compulsion, impulse, whatever you want to call it, is a quality that was relentlessly exacerbated in his relationship with his immortal paramour. He wanted to content her, felt all he did was never enough, for as a matter of principle, he was oceans, leagues, and entire galaxies beneath her. Gale figures: well, how can a short-lived dalliance satisfy a god? He had to make her happy. Indeed, he'd done everything she'd ask. He'd bedded her how she liked, kissed her how she wanted, and of course, even said those words she'd said tasted best. She was his lover, a lover that never tended to his own needs and pleasures, and he fooled himself into thinking that's enough. He won't bend backwards for everyone, mind you, but if you're of the ones he would, he would stop at nothing to make you happy. After all, people pleasing is a way to keep oneself safe, a trauma response to sidestep discomfort, and though it achieves only a direly tentative peace, when that is all you've been fed, you will pursue it.
Gale did not want to lose Mystra; he couldn't bare the sting of it. And so, when Elminster visited him, Mystra's call for his death offered oh so callously, Gale, heartbroken, felt that part of him kick up. He couldn't endure the guilt, was so hungry for a chance to let his weighty heart breathe, even if it meant dying in the process.
At least this way, he'll finally do something right. At least this way, Mystra will forgive him, and all his friends will survive.
Gale: After I was afflicted with my condition, I locked myself in my tower for an entire year. I was inconsolable, wallowing in my self-inflicted tragedy. I'd given up on myself.
As a byproduct of people pleasing, Gale, too, is all too quick to accept all guilt. He self-deprecates, gaslights himself to a venomous degree, and twists his reality in so cruel a way as to make him the villain Mystra'd led him to believe. He self-flagellates himself, the first one in the world who will throw Gale of Waterdeep a mental punishment. Mystra's a goddess, after all, seen as utterly faultless, and twined so tightly with a being so mighty in esteem, Gale slipped into the role of the guilty often. When tied with anyone with grandeur like this, so immeasurable in their own self worth, it's important to keep in mind this: you are nothing but a prop in which to fulfill their ego. Gale was not Mystra's, not by a long shot. Rather, Gale was a tool, simply her mortal extension.
And he took every blow meant for her... a common and terrible habit for many people in imbalanced, ego-fueled relationships.
Gale's life beyond her wasn't something that interested her. She took most of Gale's devotion, manipulated his life to be her sole mantle of attention, for Mystra is not a goddess that shares very happily.
Indeed, long before his self-imposed isolation, this jealous deity did well at keeping him isolated.
Player Character: Picture kissing him. With tenderness. Then, with passion.
Gale: I... I didn't think—
Narrator: You perceive quick-fire embarrassment, trepidation, and finally... elation.
And so, cheated out of love, so reduced in his value as a man and lover both, suffice to say, Gale's slow to believe he can ever be loved. That's what happens when you're with someone so cold, consistent only in their infinite lack of respect. Gale looks at fondness, and he feels—confounded, to be sure. He thinks, is this truly mine to have? He doesn't know what to do, is nearly forty in game, and despite having lived decades devoted to one relationship, he feels, at the same time, entirely out of depth. To be frank, he greets it with embarrassment, like he's been caught red handed with something not his at all. He's like a child caught rummaging with his hand in a cookie jar, all this isn't mine to enjoy, not mine to indulge in, but he thinks, startled, but god, do I want. He wars with disbelief, uncertainty, and need, and in so many ways feeling utterly starved, with just a glimmer of affection, he falls fast into love.
Scenario: (And if properly romanced, it changes his world.)
Gale: In her (Mystra's) likeness, I used to read a thousand stories. She was beauty, wisdom, elegance, power... she contained universes. But now... it is hard to see any redeeming qualities in a lover who condemned you to death. I'd much rather gaze into your eyes than hers. Yours are capable of tenderness and feeling... No god could ever compare.
He says it with sincerity. There is such wonder, such love, and such awe in his eyes. He makes the act of kissing him feel like you've just reached into the trenches to but pluck him soundly from his ruin and despair. You think, Gale Dekarios, how unloved have you been all this time?
Gale: To know you love me for the man I am, and not the magic I command… none have loved me so purely before.
The answer is: entirely.
For so long, Gale thought love was simply being chosen. He knew nothing of being favored for the quality of his character, to be cherished and accepted even in those ways he fumbles and lacks. Again, his needs were seldom met, often treated with utter indifference by Mystra herself, and to meet someone so eager to treasure him, dote on him in a way his heart, his body is somberly new to, raptures his spirit and captures his soul. He's seen for who he is. He's... loved, desired for his silly quips, his easy smiles, and his growing affections. He bares himself to them, and in turn, they cradle his heart like something entirely precious. Gale thinks this has to be dream. He says, at times, you are more than I deserve.
Scenario: (But sometimes, he hopes too strongly and loves too greatly. As it always does, then, like he's once more wanted too much, he watches something beautiful slip right through his fingers. Of course, Gale Dekarios. Of course it does.)
Player Character: I didn't know you felt so strongly, Gale.
Gale: Perhaps I should have done more. Been more charming, more flattering, harder to reach... but I was only myself, and sometimes that isn't enough.
They don't love him anymore. It breaks his heart. He hurts so much, so profoundly and deeply, and he doesn't realize that he breaks their heart in turn.
Unable to ever voice his feelings with Mystra in any way that amounted to much, Gale's a tendency to wallow, expressions coming off as potentially 'guilt-tripping' and even, on occasion, passive aggressive. Firstly: Gale NEVER means to manipulate emotions, and he's no intention of twisting anyone's arm, either. Fact is, Gale, never taken seriously when he'd bared his vulnerabilities to the Mother of the Weave, can end up saying just a little too much. He feels very deeply, and for most his life, seldom had an outlet for these weeping sentiments. He sometimes lets slip raw words and oftentimes heart-wrenching expressions; all the same, it's not so pitiful as to shepherd an outcome, but rather, is a gesture taken by a man so desperate to be heard. It may feel like scheming, but the truth is far, far greyer: feeling as though he's no right to share the depth of his heart, Gale simply lets it geyser out in a way he can't cork up. In ways he doesn't realize, he's adapted to this ache, passively reacting so his feelings can at least be seen and recognized—no matter how pitifully unwhole. With someone who values so little his thoughts... well, when he slips into these moods, one can hardly feign shock.
Situation: (And if no one shows him trust and tenderness, any true care in his character or worth, Gale gets swallowed up by how wronged he was.
He thinks: Let me be a god. Let no one hurt like me anymore.)
Gale: They only want us to serve them, pray to them...and ultimately, to die for them. But what if we didn't need them? What if we wielded their power instead and helped ourselves in all the ways they refuse to? I could make that happen.
Gale is not above anger, and as stated, he is not above pettiness; however, more than that, he is not above righting himself whatever wound he was struck. Gale, if not offered much by ways of affection, understanding, is made to believe that one idea that's lived growing in his mind: Gale Dekarios is far from sufficient; he has to be more. He has to be better. Gale, in such an unkind ending for himself, sips too desperately—and perhaps greedily, too, but desperately serves as a far better word—at that idea that he needs power. And so, wresting the Crown of Karsus for himself, he spites Mystra in his own way, becoming a god he feels is leagues better than she will ever be. Damn her thoroughly. Damn her ego, her power, and her endless indifference. He will serve the people, protect them, and in ways Mystra never could, better the world.
Situation: But as a god, he loses all sense of his kindness. Humanity. All who loved him leave him, and even Tara spurns the image he's become. With power, he's gained the respect he thought he always wanted... but in turn, he lost in even greater measure all the love he's known.
Endnote: But healing, knowing to forgive himself and knowing he's deserving of care simply for being Gale Dekarios will remain, always, the best path for him.
#HEADCANON.#Oh... anyway. This. Was. A lot.#And it was a lot for me mentally and emotionally to write.#So much of this hit home.#Gale isn't perfect. He can be petty and immature—a byproduct of not being all too good at venting his frustrations when#it gets to a point. He has very bad self esteem. He is not forgiving of himself and is too forgiving of Mystra.#He endured FOR DECADES the cold indifference of a goddess he called his lover.#I know people dog on him because he's a grown man with these hurts and traumas and responses#but just because his trauma manifested in ways you don't find palatable or hot or sexy#doesn't mean they aren't scars left by trauma buddy!!!#And quite frankly that bit about God Gale sounding vindictive and angry#yeah! SOMETIMES people who have so cold and uncaring and belittling a partner#end up angry. You shoved someone into a corner and hounded them for SO LONG. Don't start crying when they rear back on you and bite#I have a deep connection with godhood Gale. But obviously a healed Gale that finds love and acceptance in himself is so much healthier.#I'm rooting for you Gale (always).#So much of this was typed up with a lot of first hand experience so... to say this was a Gale exploration#as much as a way to navigate my own trauma is an apt one.#No two tales of abuse are alike of course. Gale's experience isn't my experience. But I can sympathize a great deal.#TL;DR: This meta post means a lot to me. K. Thanks.
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